Taming Gravity
by LanceTrance
Summary: Maybe some people aren't supposed to be tamed. Maybe they are supposed to run wild until they find someone, just as wild, to run with. But the trouble with loving a wild thing is that you're always left watching the door, and Sera learns this the hard way as she struggles to tame the wild thing that roams from doorstep to doorstep. It won't be easy, but is it at least worth it?
1. No Rest for the Wicked

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Special thanks to DerpDerTroll for helping me flesh out this new character and bouncing ideas around! Thanks to Nyx Sigma ZERO for also giving ideas that helped inspire Syl in the first place :) Couldn't have done this without you two, so pat on the back mates! Lots of brainstorming went about to create Sylvira, and like Ena and Fen she represents one of the four elements: Air!

Let me just mention first and foremost that even I shifted my eyes when I decided for this new character to be very arrogant and "colorful" with her language and elvhen, so for those who take offense to swearing/vulgarity and very angst past this may not be the story for you. I mean… You can pretty much tell what sort of person Sylvira is just by looking at the elvhen legend :P You have been warned! Also, chapter one places heavy emphasis on Syl's "wild" side to contrast the "serious" in the second chapter, so if you find that she is too perverted give chapter two a try, it's toned down quite a bit lol. Time to stop rambling, I hope you like this new character! She's by far the most challenging I've written [since I'm not very witty at all] and also has the most diverse personality/background story changes. **On to the story!**

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Haurasha:_ Honey, golden. Also sexual slang for… *Cough* Well. 'Juice'.

 _Isalan dera na aron tuelan:_ I will touch you like a Creator

 _Juveran na su tarasyl:_ I will take you to the sky

 _Telir silal or ma tu ara'len'palan:_ Just thinking of you makes me [want to] fuck

 _Pala'lan/Pala'len:_ Go fuck yourself (lan for female, len for male)

 _Felasil:_ Fool, slow mind

 _Ara halla:_ Endearment for trusted close friend

 _Dhava 'ma masa:_ Kiss my ass

 _Fen'harel ver na:_ Dread wolf take you

 _Emma shem'nan:_ My revenge is swift

 _Jupalan ma sule tel mar sule'din:_ I will fuck you until you have no endurance left

 _Fenedhas:_ Wolf vagina/pussy (edhis is dick, *sigh* sometimes I worry about the things I write)

* * *

 **No Rest for the Wicked**

* * *

"You lost and you know it," Sylvira rested her legs on top of the table and crossed her ankles, she tipped the chair back and balanced it as she held her cards. She tucked her chin down and hid her smirk in her thin scarf, the dangling ends swaying as she rocked back and forth on the chair. "You should just fold."

"Oh, yeah?" Sera rested her chin on her palm and leaned forward, "Yer getting cocky again. Know what that means."

"Yep," the mage's conceited smirk grew, "Means it's my win." She tossed her cards on the table, "Three angels and one serpent." The archer whistled and Sylvira held out her palm as she smirked in victory, "Hand 'em over Sera."

"Mm I dunno Syl," the rogue laid her cards down and grinned as Lavellan's eyes widened in disbelief, "I think yer knickers are mine."

"YOU CHEATED! HOW DID YOU GET ALL FIVE KNIGHTS?!" Sylvira abruptly rose from her chair and leaned across the table, "Show me the card deck and your hand!" The entire tavern turned to watch the spectacle, Sera laughed as she grabbed on the mage's scarf and nonchalantly pulled it off.

"Guess I'll just take this **again**. Don't be a sore loser Syl, c'mon let's go for another round." Lavellan thumbed behind her and pointed to the rogue's room.

"In your bed? _Orlais_ with me Sera, and I'll show you a world you've never even dreamed of."

" _Tch_ ," the archer grinned as she wrapped the slender knitted scarf around her neck, "Always bluffing." Sylvira leaned forward and supported herself with her palms on the table, inches away from the smirking rogue who's mouth was covered by the scarf.

"Not this time and you know it. There's a reason why shemlen call us dalish 'wild elves', Haurasha."

"Heard that one plenty o' times Syl. How 'bout another game?" Sera grinned and leaned forward as well, the two elves an inch away. She pointed her thumb to a woman sitting at the bar with Cabot and whispered, "If you can make her blush, you win."

"Hah! That's it?" Sylvira smiled confidently, " **Easy**. Watch and learn from the best." Walking down the stairs and over to the bar she casually leaned on the counter-top, "I'm sorry, but I don't think we've met. I know I wouldn't forget a pretty face like yours." The woman's cheeks dusted slightly, "Isalan dera na aron tuelan," Sylvira's smile grew into a seductive smirk and in an instant the woman's cheeks flushed. The mage glanced at Sera who was laughing and smacking the table with her hand, she left the woman before she could even say anything back. "I believe that's my win," Sylvira returned then sat down and smirked smugly, "Elvhen gets you laid in a second."

"Not with me," Sera taunted and took a swig from her mug then slammed it down. "I'll admit not bad though, you were smooth as fuck."

"Will I be leading an expedition in your deep road?"

"Nope. You just win this back," the archer pulled off the scarf and returned it with a provocative smirk, "Gonna need more than a honey tongue to win me over."

"I'd have one if we went to your room," Sylvira grinned when the rogue chuckled and reached for her scarf then wrapped it around her neck, leaving the ends swaying as she rocked on the chair once more. She fished in the pocket of her breeches then pulled out her pipe and tamper along with a small container of finely-crushed elfroot. "You're a hell of a thief Haurasha, stealing my heart but denying me the goods," her vivid citron eyes danced with mischief as she filled the bowl of her pipe with the elfroot and compressed it with the tamper. "I'd go all the way to Tevinter just to buy a piece of you."

"I'm touched yer into me your mighty Inquisitorialness," Sera reached into her back-pouch and pulled out a small box of matches then tossed it across the table. "But I'll still have to pass. You already know I don't share and elfy elves ain't my type."

"Shame, you're missing out. There's a reason why my parents named me Sylvira you know," the mage picked up the box and took out a match, swiftly striking the stick against the edge and circling the fire inside the bowl to light the elfroot evenly. She spoke with the pipe at the corner of her mouth and took a couple test draws as her hands worked, "Means to fly and soar."

"Oh yeah? They knew you were gonna be a perverted fuck?"

"Yep," the two elves chuckled, "Forget screaming Haurasha. I can make **you** soar. Juveran na su tarasyl," Sylvira flicked her wrist to extinguish the match's flame and tossed the charred remnant on the table.

"Yer fancy words won't do nothin' to me," Sera gathered the discarded cards and shuffled the deck, "We still playin'?"

"Only if the stakes still involve your clothes," the mage inhaled then blew out a small heart-shaped cloud of smoke then pointed towards it, "Pew," she shot a tiny gust of wind through the center and laughed with Sera as the smoke dispersed. "Should just save time and strip now."

"Smooth as fuck aren't you?" The rogue grinned, "Yer knickers are mine and you know it Syl."

"Don't have to cheat to get in my pants, Sera." Sylvira gestured with her finger and rotated her palm towards her, in an instant five cards levitated from the deck and floated her way without the archer seeing what they were. Her citron eyes clouded as they fell on the razor sharp slits, "Telir silal or ma tu ara'len'palan." She glanced at her cards and discarded the matching suit of songs in hopes she could complete her collection of knights, using her magic to levitate the cards towards her again.

"Ah, ah, ah, no point in that," Sera chuckled, "Read 'em and weep Syl. I got the angel of death and," she laid her cards on the table, "All four angels." She nearly fell off her chair laughing her ass off when the mage abruptly rose from her chair, her jaw dropped and the pipe hit the table with a loud clang.

"Pala'lan! Fuck this rigged shemlen game!"

"Everybody can play Wicked Grace luv. Everybody 'cept you anyways," the archer waggled her eyebrows playfully and held out her hand, "Knickers. Right. Here."

"In front of everyone?" Sylvira grumbled, "You just want a free show don't you?" As her hands worked on her clothes she smirked arrogantly, "Remember this, Haurasha. Anytime. **Anywhere**."

* * *

"What do you want," the mage glanced over her shoulder, thoroughly irritated at having been interrupted from her chess game with Dorian. She leaned back in her chair and looked at the board, gesturing with her finger in a 'come here' motion and levitate the king piece back to a square towards her. "I'm assuming the felasil spy didn't take our offer?"

"Precisely," Leliana handed her the report and Sylvira alternated between reading and playing. "What would you like me to do with him?"

"Release him," she looked at the Spymaster, "Have your best agent track him-undetected-the fool will no doubt lead us right into their center of operations. Then have Cullen's men crush them."

"At once, Inquisitor," Leliana bowed respectfully and left as quickly as she came, not wanting to risk further infuriating the mage for interrupting any more than need be. Sylvira folded her hands in front of her mouth and smirked smugly, her eyes daring Dorian as he contemplated his next move.

"It's my win ara halla," the dalish woman relaxed in her seat and crossed her leg over so that her ankle rested on her knee, "Just give up n-" her eyes widened when Dorian smirked and moved his knight, he too then assumed the same posture as her.

"Checkmate."

"Pala'len! This game is rigged too!"

"Well now, you sure lost faster than usual this time."

"Dhava 'ma masa, it's because I was interrupted!"

Dorian chuckled, "We always are. What I meant was that you just seem more distracted than usual, but then again I'm far more charming today."

"Oh yeah I'd take you. My chambers or right here?" Sylvira smirked, it was always fun flirting with the man especially in public since people took them seriously. Ironic, considering their personal preferences but this didn't deter them, "Well I got shot down by Sera **again** yesterday. I even tried out that tevinter line you gave me."

"Hah!" Dorian slapped his knee and his haughty laughter knocked over several chess pieces, "That's probably why she shot you down!" He leaned forward when he finally calmed down, "You do know why she's not interested in you don't you? You've even a better chance with me than her."

"Seriously? I didn't think she hated the dalish that much," Sylvira crossed her arms, "But we hang out and flirt all the time, I don't get it."

"It's probably because for one you flirt with **anything** that moves," Dorian smirked when the mage visibly deflated, "And two she knows she can't handle a tornado in bed. **If** you don't break the bed."

"Got that right," the dalish woman smirked proudly, "Always know how to cheer me up."

"In all seriousness though, didn't she tell you before she doesn't like to share? You were with that one girl a couple days ago, or was it yesterday? And then another girl a few days before that."

"She won't have to share me then," Sylvira grinned mischievously, "We can share another though."

"And that's precisely why she shot you down," the tevinter mage chuckled, "Your tongue has quite the reputation, keep talking like that and you'll give her the wrong idea… Which you already have."

"Mmng… So what am I supposed to do? I really like her, she's not like any other woman I've ever met."

"Sera's a **woman**?" The two laughed briefly and Dorian shrugged, "See if you can convince her you're serious about  only her then. In any case," he rose from his chair and waved good bye, "Good luck with that. It's not something I'd bet on."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Sylvira grumbled and muttered lowly to herself, "Sera's like a rigged game..." She stood then spun on her heel and smirked confidently, "But she's not the only one with tricks and traps."

* * *

"Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite."

"This again?" Sera rested her chin on her palm and laid down her cards, "Gotta hand it to ya honey-tongue yer pretty determined. Too bad it ain't the honey you want."

"What can I say? You're like lyrium and I'm seriously addicted." Sylvira glanced down at Sera's cards and huffed as she threw hers down, "Fuck." She tugged on her scarf and threw it across the table to the grinning archer, "Next round is mine."

"You say that every time," Sera gathered the cards and shuffled the deck, "You know you always give me the scarf first. I'm surprised it ain't the last thing you take off."

"I like it when you wear it," the mage levitated her five cards and sustained them in the air as she fished in her pockets for her pipe. "You uh," she glanced down as she shook her hands in her pockets, "Damn I must've left it at the war table," she looked back up, "What was I saying?"

"Something 'bout me an' the scarf," Sera shrugged and discarded a couple cards then replaced her hand, "Well fuck. Might as well take it back, I fold."

"Not all you could be folding you know," the dalish woman smirked suggestively, "At least put the scarf on first before I take it. Better yet, allow me to wrap it around you."

"What, 'round my hands?" Sera chuckled when the citron eyes flashed with hope, "Maybe in your dreams."

"You must be the fade then, because in my dreams I'm inside you." Sylvira abruptly rose from the table and walked behind the archer then gently wrapped the scarf around her neck. Lightly tugging on the ends she lilts playfully, "Come on~"

"Oi I ain't some friggin' mutt on a leash," Sera laughed, "The hell are you doing?"

"I changed my mind, I don't want to play cards," _pranks sounds fun_ , "Let's go mess with someone."

"Yer always messin' with someone Syl." Something in the rogue's tone made Sylvira pause, _does she really think I just sleep around?_ "Besides we already nailed Curly this morning, unless we goin' to see if it worked?"

"Oh right I forgot about that, by the way that's not all you can nail. Yeah let's go check if he fell for it." She grinned when Sera swung her legs over the bench and stopped the archer from taking off her scarf, "Keep it on. It looks good on you."

"Turned on are you?"

"I know I'm not the only one," Sylvira tugged on the scarf ends then pulled Sera to stand. She leaned in a couple of inches and smirked when the archer made no effort to move away, "That's thinking about it, you're the one that suggested hand tying after all." _She wants me, I know she does._

"Listen Syl," Sera gently pushed away, "Already told ya before, yer wasting your time. Dated your type plenty o' times and-"

"But I'm not a prick, and I don't have a prick," Lavellan grinned, "Though I didn't know you dated a dalish before. Or a mage." _And a_ _true_ _dalish at that, not like the fake fools in the forests._

"Well no b-"

"Then you haven't dated my 'type' have you?" _Got you._ "Anyways, I never said anything about dating. All I'm saying is you should at least give me a chance," the mage tugged on the scarf and pulled Sera closer. "No bluff, no empty words Haurasha," Sylvira smirked confidently, "I promise you won't regret spending a night with me. If you do, then all bets are off and I'll leave you alone. Deal?"

"Heh, what happened to the prank?"

"I changed my mind," she waggled her eyebrows playfully, "Now. Your-" her head snapped to the floor below when the door slammed loudly and she looked over the railing to see what the ruckus was about. Her eyebrows furrowed in annoyance when she found the young dalish elf-the one recruited from Exalted Plains-responsible for his loud entrance. "Even the dead can hear you Loranil," the dalish hunter's head snapped up and he looked panicked, Sylvira and Sera exchanged confused glances. The mage's irritation dissipated immediately when Loranil frantically rushed up the steps and handed her a report, her eyes narrowing as she read. "Tell Sister Nightingale..." Lavellan sighed frustratedly and rubbed her temples, _it'll be annoying if she gets emotional about this,_ "Tell her I'm sorry for her loss and inform her I will set out immediately to deal with this situation personally."

"At once Inquisitor," Loranil bowed respectfully and rushed away, Sylvira looked at the archer and frowned at her smirk.

"Don't even. I bet you're more disappointed."

"Yeah totally," Sera teased sarcastically, "Heart broken."

"Knew it." _She wants me just as bad,_ they walked over to the archer's room so that she could grab her weapons, _I was going to be in here for a different reason. Fuck,_ the irritation was coming back and the mage grumbled as she turned around, "Let's go crush these felasil venatori so we can get on to your favorite part."

"Mine, or yours?" The rogue chuckled when Lavellan glanced over her shoulder and waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Fuckin' perv."

"I know you are. That's what I like about you."

"Oh I bet you do," Sera stuck out her tongue, "Was talkin' 'bout you bein' the perv though."

"I'm a pervert but in a romantic way." The archer sneezed and the two grinned mischievously.

"Ugh," Sera sniffed, "Sorry. Allergic to bullshit."

* * *

"Fuck this shit," Sylvira braced her palms on the war table as she tried to make sense of multiple random reports in front of her, "I'd rather be a wench in a brothel." The ends of her messy ponytail kept hitting the side of her face and she nibbled on a few strands before sighing. _I already have a headache._

"What's so hard 'bout it? Just pick a trail and we'll go see if it's the right one, if not we try a different one." Sera crossed her arms and watched with amusement, "Yer hair's all fucked again by the way."

"And it's not 'just had sex' hair," the mage grumbled, she reached back and untied both ponytails then gave a slight shake. "Want to fix that for me?" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and Sera laughed.

"I take it you don't mean yer hair?"

"Oh I do. In a different place. You know you remind me of my big toe, because I'm going to bang you on this table."

"Shit," Sera chuckled and the mage smirked arrogantly when she noted how the brown-green eyes glinted then glazed, "Are you always horny or somethin'?"

"It's not that I'm horny all the time, you're just always fucking sexy," Sylvira grinned as she split the top half of her hair, tied that in a high ponytail then looped under so that the wild strands flopped around the top of her head. She did the same with the second half of her hair, tying it in the middle below the first knot then looping through. Her naturally straight hair always managed to look messy with strands that seemingly somehow defied gravity, and she'd have a proud smirk every time she was complimented on her free-spirited jungle look. "Better?"

"Yep. You look like you just got fucked now."

"Looking and doing are totally different," Lavellan gestured to the doorway and flicked her wrist sideways, within moments all the locks slid shut and the mage sauntered towards Sera. "I'm tired of your games Haurasha," her citron eyes glinted and resembled that of a predator as she grabbed the ends of the scarf and pulled Sera towards her. "Your lips look lonely. Want to meet mine?"

"Even I know now ain't the time Syl," the archer replied huskily and she leaned away from the mouth that dove to capture hers, "We got to go, we can't do this."

"You're right," Sylvira growled and instead lowered to nip the creamy neck above the scarf, "Your clothes have to go, but you can stay." _Why is she playing so hard to get?_ She smirked smugly when she felt a low vibration against her lips, "You'll be screaming soon enough."

"Yer getting cocky again, know what that means?"

"Yep," the mage chuckled hoarsely, "Means it's my win." Her hands fell to Sera's hips and clutched firmly when the rogue tried to push away, "Fenedhas, why are you denying what you want?"

"Because ye daft tit," Sera tried to glare sternly and pushed away again, "Yer already seeing someone."

"Yeah, you," Lavellan's patience rapidly dwindled and sighed as she reluctantly parted to look in the razor sharp slits. "I can't even remember her name but she's as good as gone. Long time ago."

"That was yesterday, and seriously you can't even remember her name? How the fuck am I supposed to know you won't do that shit to me huh Syl?"

" **You** ," Sylvira snapped and her mood shifted in an instant, she slammed the archer against the table, "Are **always** on my fucking mind. I can't **not** think about you, even when I'm with others. But you string me along, taunt me, tease me, yet dance  around me." She leaned closer and seethed inches away from Sera's face, "What do you expect me to do? It's okay if you flirt and have fun but I can't? Am I supposed to just chase demons and spies forever? I can't lie and fool myself anymore. Nobody will do," she leaned in and roughly nipped the thundering pulse then growled lowly, " **I want** **you**."

"A-and," Sera shuddered when she felt the scarf move higher and canines lightly graze along her collar bone, "How do I know- _shit._ " Her hands instinctively slid around the dalish woman's neck, "Fuck it."

"It wasn't up for debate," Lavellan smirked confidently, "Now you'll get to see for yourself," she rose her head and lightly brushed against the archer's lips, "Why the dalish are called 'wild elves'."

"Talk too fuckin' much," Sera gripped the sides of the dalish woman's head, "Always bragging. Show me how good that tongue o' yours is," she grinned provocatively and groaned when Sylvira pushed her leg in between her thighs, she leaned backwards to dart away from hungry lips.

" **Still** fucking teasing," the mage growled and pushed her by the shoulders, "On the table." With a flick of her wrist all the markers along with the map flew off and she helped Sera hop up by stabilizing her hips, "Told you I'd bang you on here."

" **Still** talking?"

" **Still** taunting?" Lavellan clambered over her and rested her knee in between the rogue's legs, "How about you write a love letter on my back while I write one in between your thighs, Haurasha?"

"You plannin' to talk me over the edge?"

"And then push you further," Sylvira leaned down and pushed Sera's shirt up with her nose while planting playful little kisses, "Such an exquisite body..." She stopped the archer from taking off her scarf, "Leave it on."

"Startin' to think yer into some really weird shit Syl," Sera joked and bit back a gasp when the sharp canines grazed along her hip, " _Fuck_." Her back arched involuntarily when the knee shifted and pressed into her core more, white-hot tingles traveled along her skin and the vibrations of the mage's chuckles rummaged along her veins. Suddenly her vision went pitch-black but before she could ask, her lips were smothered and she groaned at the intrusive tongue. The knee grind again and she saw the flash of white once more, the dominating mouth clamped over hers swallowed every gasp and moan.

"Give me," Sylvira whispered huskily, "Your hands."

"Little late for holding hands," the rogue grinned mischievously, "I didn't think you-" she chuckled when lips silenced her and she felt her hands pulled above her head. "Stealing my ideas coz you can't think of anythin' better Syl?"

"It's the best idea you've ever had. You should wear my scarf like this more often," Lavellan gently wrapped the other end of the scarf around Sera's hands and ensured the remaining side covered her eyes proper. "It looks way better now."

" **Still** talking?" As the archer relaxed under the ministrations, she couldn't help the nagging feeling of her stomach churning the entire time. Regret? Adrenaline? Something felt off, but before she could ask the knee interrupted her thoughts when the pleasure blinded her again. Tender touches, curious lips, it just didn't seem to be Sylvira. Sera had honestly expected a rough tumble on the table, be sore for a few days, and be cast aside when the dalish woman would grow bored of her just like everybody else she's dallied with. Nervous? Probably, being tossed away would mean no more pranks, no more Wicked Grace, no more playful flirting or stolen touches. No more fun with the only other woman who didn't give a flying fuck about what others thought of her. Yet that didn't seem to be what was bugging her, and without thinking she blurted, "This your first time or what? This ain't like you, Syl."

"That so?" Lavellan nudged the shirt higher with her nose and lightly traced the ridges that composed Sera's toned stomach with her finger, "I just don't want to rush, not yet. Not when I've waited for this for a long, long time." She grinned when she gently bit and suckled beside the rogue's belly button, "It's like exploring the Forbidden Oasis."

"Really." Sera inquired dead-pan, "You seriously just said that."

"You don't have sand in _places_ still, do you? I don't want to be eating grainy shit again." Sylvira chuckled hoarsely when the archer playfully smacked her despite her tied hands, "Were you aiming for my breasts on purpose?"

"Is that what I slapped? Guess it doesn't matter if I hit yer head or not, no brains anyways."

"Ouch," the dalish woman gently pulled the scarf away from her eyes, "I'm real hurt."

"Oh yeah I can tell with that large shit-eating grin you got," Sera rolled her hips and grumbled when she found that the knee was no longer there, "Oi, were you serious 'bout talkin' me over the edge or what? All talk no show, as usual." Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when the mage looked across the room, "Are you even listening?" When Lavellan climbed off her she brought her hands to her teeth and tugged until she untied the sloppy knot then sat up. "Syl?"

" **HAH**!" Sera jumped slightly at the unexpected volume and gaped incredulously as the mage bent down and picked something up, "I knew I forgot it in here! Must've accidentally swatted it away earlier." Sylvira spun on her heel and grinned happily, "Finally found my pipe. Anyways what were you saying?" Their heads snapped to the door when it tried to open, but the locks prevented it. "Who's there?"

"Inquisitor?" The muffled voice seemed it belonged to the Spymaster, "I was told you already left." Lavellan flicked her wrist and the focused gusts of air undid the locks, she shook her head as Leliana walked in.

"Not yet. I was going over the map," the mage glanced and smirked smugly at Sera, "Before I was distracted again." The rogue merely crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at her as Lavellan brought the map back on the table.

"You were..." Leliana sighed dejectedly as she scanned the trashed room and pieced together what was supposed to happen when her eyes fell on their disheveled clothes. "Maker, seriously? My best agent has been captured and you're wasting time by-"

"Perhaps he shouldn't have gotten himself captured then," Sylvira retorted nonchalantly, "What we do in our spare time is none of your business. He should be honored I'm personally going out of my way to save his ass." Both Sera and Leliana's mouths dropped slightly and even the rogue herself had been annoyed by the response, but before either could say anything the mage slammed her palms on the table. "Really seems like if you want something done right you have to do it yourself," she spat bitterly and glanced at the map then nodded affirmatively seemingly to herself. "I'll head out now, I'll be back in half a day at best." She brushed past the Spymaster and glared at her, "If you've got something to say then say it, or am I the only one around here who has the guts to say what's really on their mind?" Leliana's lips pursed into a thin line and she averted her gaze, " _Tch_ ," Lavellan chuckled sarcastically, "I fucking knew it."

When Sylvira left the room, Sera watched the Spymaster with sympathetic eyes and sighed. She walked towards her and stopped at her side, mustering the courage to pat Leliana's shoulder in an attempt to reassure her, "Don't worry Red. I'll smack her across her big fuckin' head and make sure she gets rid of the stick in her arse." As she walked away she clenched her fists to the point all knuckles turned white and cracked, "Worse than a fuckin' noble, Syl."

* * *

"Oi." Sera adjusted the strap on her quiver and caught up to the mage as she mounted her chosen steed, "We need to talk."

"It'll have to wait," Sylvira extended her hand, "I have a fairy tale story I get to act out. Rescuing the princess from-"

"Shut the fuck up yeah?" The rogue slapped her hand away and marched past to grab her own horse. She clutched the saddle horn and hoisted herself up then dug her heels in to signal the horse to trot past Lavellan, she glanced over her shoulder, "It was your order that put him there innit? So it's your job to bail him out."

"It was his job to **not** get caught either. An order too if I recall correctly."

"If yer that pissed off 'bout it then stay here and I'll handle it myself. He doesn't need a snooty snob rubbing it in his face."

"So any time I don't do my job I can expect a dashing rogue to come save me too?" Sera's temple twitched and her hands tensed on the reins, her jaw clenched and teeth grind each other at the haughty laughter behind her. _I fuckin' knew it. Just like the rest of the elfy elves, thinkin' her shit's perfume and got that friggin' superior attitude. Worse than a fuckin' noble,_ bitter feelings welled up within her as images of what transpired in the war-room flashed in her mind, and she was angry at herself when the ache between her thighs still remained. _Let a prick like her touch me when I told myself I'd never fall for tricks ever again. Got tricked by a stupid honey-tongue and stupid words_ _again_ _._ "Sera do you even know where you're going~?"

"Is there a fucking 'off' switch for yer mouth?"

Lavellan chuckled quietly, "Nope but there's an 'on' switch when my mouth meets yours."

"Forget it," Sera spat vehemently, "That was a mistake. Regret it, never happening ever again. You said you'd leave me alone if I thought that yeah? Don't even think 'bout-"

"Your mouth says no but your body says yes~" Sylvira teased playfully and caught up to trot beside her, "If I save this guy do I get a kiss?"

"Piss off."

"Then I guess I'm not saving him, unless you think you can take venatori on by yourself?"

"Oh and I suppose you can?" Sera's glared angrily at her, "How fucking low can you go?"

"Relax, I'm just teasing you," the mage frowned, "You know, like how we always do?" Lavellan sighed when the rogue snapped her head back to the path, "Listen, I'm annoyed that we were interrupted as well but that's no reas-"

"You think I'm pissed because we didn't fuck?" Sera chuckled bitterly, "I'm fucking glad we didn't."

"I see," Sylvira shrugged casually, _she doesn't even fucking care!_ "You'll change your mind soon." _In your dreams you cocky bitch._ The two rode in silence, Sera purposefully ignored the fact she hadn't a clue where she was going and reluctantly let the dalish woman lead. _Knowing her she's probably lost her head and forgotten what she was supposed to do again. Always gets distracted so friggin' easily,_ when she looked down her irritation resurfaced immediately when she noticed she was still wearing the mage's slender scarf. _She's a fuckin' jerk, gonna be my first Jenny job when this Inquisition shite's done._ When she reached to take it off, Lavellan happened to glance over her shoulder, "Leave it on, it looks good on you."

"Don't care whatcha think, not here for yer entertainment. Take it back before I toss it on the ground."

"Alright," the mage sighed as she guided the horse closer to Sera's and held her hand out, "Going to give it to me?" _Oh I'd_ _give_ _it, but too bad for you._

"Take it, I ain't a fuckin' servant handing you food either."

"That's a shame," Sylvira teased playfully as she grabbed the scarf and wrapped it around her neck, "I had a nice little fantasy of you feeding me your haurasha." _Still don't know what the fuck that means, don't friggin' care._ The dalish woman's eyebrows furrowed with annoyance when Sera ignored her, "What's up your ass? I'm trying to lighten the mood here and you still have a problem. This isn't like you." _Easiest way to piss her off is ignore her,_ "Hey, I'm talking to you!" _Can't wrap her mind 'round the fact she ain't the center of the world._ The archer smirked to herself in satisfaction, _too easy. Maybe she'll get how much it sucks when she does it, fat chance. Friggin' airhead._ " **Sera wa** -" the rogue was suddenly flung off her horse and painfully crashed into a nearby tree, the world spun before her and loud ringing settled in her ears. She groaned and rubbed the back of her head then tried to focus on her fingers despite the thick haze of agony that blanketed her mind, _fuck…_ Her thoughts felt sluggish and slow, _blood. Bleeding,_ she looked up in her daze and squinted as she tried to make sense of the spinning, when it gradually slowed her heart rate quickened.

 _The fuck is going on?_ Lavellan's back was facing her, both her hands made a series of rapid gestures and motions as if drawing something. She vaguely registered the mage's panicked shouting but the words didn't make sense, _can't tell if it's her fancy shite or what._ Sera groaned when the rock-splitting headache intensified and her vision clouded, _fuck,_ she gripped her head and gritted her teeth as the agony throbbed more frequently. _Fuck,_ she glanced up, she couldn't make sense of the objects that were seemingly flying around and didn't trust her eyes anymore, _fuck!_ She clutched her head tighter and desperately tried to fight back the darkness stealing what little was left of her vision but couldn't, she slackened and slumped to the ground. She drifted off to slumber, unaware of the woman frantically calling out her name.

* * *

"Fen'harel ver na," Sylvira snarled and swept her arm out to the side, the invisible force knocked several of the venatori down. She glanced over her shoulder, "Sera wake up dammit!" _No doubt about it, she's most likely gotten a concussion,_ her citron eyes glowed brightly and flashed dangerously as she glared at the zealots, "Emma shem'nan." With one arm stretched in front of her she sustained a core of precise telekinetic energy that slowly pulled the panicked venatori to the center, grinning sadistically as she watched them helplessly claw at the dirt to stop from being dragged. "Fighting against gravity. How's that working out for you guys?" Her free arm rose in the air and she clenched it into a tight fist, her smug smirk replaced with a ruthless grin, "Fall." She extinguished the core and brought down her fist simultaneously, the sounds of bones snapping and being crushed resounded in the silence. The venatori hadn't even been given a chance to scream, their deaths claimed them swiftly and their bodies lay deformed as if there was nothing holding them together inside. Blood trickled out of a nostril and she wiped it away with the back of her hand, _I can't push myself that much so quickly again, then I'd be knocked out too. Why did Sera have to be so stubborn again? As usual._

Without another thought Lavellan spun on her heel and rushed to the rogue, kneeling and calmly assessing her condition, "If you had just listened to me this wouldn't have happened." She smoothed back her ample bangs sticking to her face and gave a slight jerk of her head to whip her hair out of the way. "No way around it," she rose to her feet and brushed off the dirt on her clothes then rotated so her palm faced the sky. Sera levitated from her position and the mage gently cradled her in her arms, manipulating the gravity and weight of the unconscious woman so that it wouldn't be as difficult to carry her. _It'll be a problem if she wakes up,_ Sylvira blanched at that thought, _how troublesome._ Fortunately she had reacted quickly and deflected the magical energy from herself just in time when the two were ambushed, her steed was still safe. _This agent better have information to make it worth all this trouble or I'm finishing the venatori's fucking job,_ she clicked her tongue to gain the mount's attention and gestured with her head then turned to walk, briefly glancing over her shoulder to check if the horse understood and followed her.

 _Perfect, didn't think that'd actually work._ She walked along the beaten path in the direction the venatori troops came from, _we were closer than we thought. If they hadn't ambushed us we would have passed right by,_ she chuckled, "Idiots fucked themselves and not in the way they'd like." Her head snapped to one of the tents when she heard muffled shouting and she slowly set Sera down on one of the cots set up outside. "That you-" _what was his name anyways?_ "Uh, Spymaster's spy?" More muffled shouting, she followed the source and opened the tent flap revealing the captured man. His wrists and ankles were bound and he lay on the ground with a bloodied gag in his mouth, he had clearly been beaten profusely. "Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?" The man stared at her as if confused and she sighed, "It was a joke, forget it." She grabbed one of the stained daggers on the table nearby and knelt in front of the spy, oblivious to his stiffening at the sight of the weapon when she cut his binds. "Can you stand? I've an injured person outside and we need to return to Skyhold as soon as possible."

"Y-yes Inquisitor," the man coughed and wheezed, _must have broken ribs, that probably sucks a bit._ She tossed the dagger to the side and extended her hand to help him up, "I must admit I didn't think you'd come get me, it's… Unexpected."

"Not for free. You and Leliana owe me and the unconscious snoozer over there," she gestured to Sera with her head, "Now mount the horse and get back to Skyhold on the double. Bring back reinforcements, a spare horse and a healer."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine. I'll make my way back with her but the sooner she gets treatment the better. Quit wasting time and go already."

"At once Your Worship, sorry." The spy repressed his pained groans and braced his ribs with one arm as he grabbed the saddle horn then hoisted himself up. He nodded his head respectfully but before he set off he looked at Sylvira guiltily, "Er, which way?" _Creators, I have to hold his hand too? How is_ _this_ _guy our best spy?_

"Keep heading North," Lavellan sighed tiredly, "Until you hit a small lake, from there head West." At that the man mumbled his embarrassed apology and saluted then set off, the mage made way back to Sera and knelt down as she assessed her current condition once more. She noted the untied boots and grinned mischievously, "Let me tie your shoes, because I don't want you falling for anybody else." She snickered evilly when she tied the laces together instead, _she'll smack me for this but it'll be_ _so_ _worth it._ After the laces she unstrapped the buckle of the empty quiver and pulled it off, "Annoying to carry you with this. You're heavy enough," she rose then flexed her wrist to gesture and levitate the archer back in her arms, altering and sustaining the field to relieve the overbearing weight as she walked. " _Hup_ -alright let's go. Knew you weren't much for hand-holding but I didn't expect you'd rather be held this way either."

When she could feel her magic waning away she leaned against the tree and slumped down for a break, kicking out her legs and cradling the rogue around her shoulders. _Perhaps carrying will be less exhausting than sustaining the field, ah well too late now._ "Hey," she gave a slight shake with her thighs and chuckled when Sera bounced a little, "Free lap dance~!" She sighed as her head lulled back against the tree with a painful thud and she winced, _we'll have concussions together._ Muscles fatigued, mind draped in a fuzzy blanket of drowsiness, Sylvira adjusted the archer to sit in between her legs and lean against her. _She'd smack me even harder for giving her another headache,_ she snickered quietly as she shifted to get as comfortable as one could on twigs and hard dirt, _doesn't sound too bad actually. Maybe she'll smack where she did last time._ She frowned when she noted the red strands mixed with gold and gently prodded along to smooth out the crusted bits that stuck together when the blood dried. _Healer needs to come soon,_ tenderly splitting and brushing the hair away she peered closer at the wound, she slowly slid her thumb along the damaged tissue and mustered the last bit of her strength to knit it back together. _I hope I'm not messing up her brain like this,_ she chuckled, _I've only read about healing in that sketchy tome._ "Ah well what's the worst that can happen?"

Glancing up she watched as the sun began it's slow descent and smiled serenely, her hands fell and wrapped around Sera's waist then pulled her closer. "If a star fell every time I thought of you, the sky would be filled to the brim," she snickered quietly, "Because you never leave my mind." She glanced at the golden tuft of hair tickling her nose, "You're brighter than a star." _It's no fun when she's sleeping,_ she sighed irritatedly and looked off in the direction the spy was supposed to return, _at least we made it close to the lake._ She nuzzled her nose in Sera's hair and inhaled deeply, her stomach humming both pleasantly and nervously, _always driving me crazy._ "Let it all fall down on me," the concern she tried to hold at bay was clawing at the edges of her consciousness, "I only want to make it easier." _She'll be alright,_ she shook her head, _Sera will wake up and smack me, accuse me of touching her in her sleep._ At that thought she chuckled quietly, _so little faith in me. I wonder why?_ _I could take what I want from her at any time, awake or asleep._ She grinned evilly when images of holding a helpless Sera in the air entered her thoughts and the fantasy immediately bloomed, the archer acting as if she didn't want her despite her honest body proving otherwise. _Just like the war-room._

"Got that perverted look on yer face again," Sera grumbled and abruptly snapped the mage out of her thoughts, she glanced at the annoyed rogue who rotated in her embrace then shut her eyes again. "Do I even want to know?"

"Shh," Lavellan murmured irritatedly with her eyes still closed, "I'm currently sexually destroying you in my mind." Despite the composed tone, her body relaxed as the tension dissipated, _knew she'd be alright._ She opened her eyes and smirked when the archer rolled her eyes, "How are you feeling?"

"Like shite. Bright as fuck, loud ringing and my head feels like it's ready to split in two." Sera scooted forward and away from the mage as her fingers gingerly felt around the back of her head, "What the fuck did you do **this** time?" _She doesn't remember what happened?_ _Lucky!_

"Relax, we only had rough sex against the tree and you bopped your head. Consensual by the way. Up for another round?"

"Har-dee-haw, jester. What actually happened?"

"I swear on **all** the Creators that is what actually happened!" Sylvira tried to look as offended as possible, "Why don't you believe me?!"

"Coz yer fulla crap, I can smell the shit in yer breath now. Dunno if I should offer you a mint or find somethin' for you to wipe the shit with," Sera teased but immediately regretted it when the mage laughed loudly, her hand flung and she yanked the scarf up to shove in Lavellan's mouth. "Pipe down, head fuckin' hurts."

"S _h_ o," Sylvira calmed quickly and tugged the scarf out, "You like gags too huh?"

"Shut the fuck up already," the archer chuckled, "And people think I'm bad, they dunno their most holy Herald is the most perverted fuck in the world."

"Herald of Andraste's plump tits, only one worthy enough to handle them. I was chosen for my godly abilities."

"Oh yeah? You have godly powers now?"

"In bed I do," Lavellan waggled her eyebrows playfully, "Or against trees. You're proof of that."

"And people blame me for you bein' pervy," Sera stood slowly and tried to stretch but lost her balance, the mage reacted quickly and jumped up to catch her.

"You are my inspiration," Sylvira teased playfully, "Are you alright? Take it slow," realization dawned on her and she grinned, "Now that I think 'bout it that could be taken wrong."

" **That's** when you clue in? You say worse shit all the time." The archer sighed when the arms circled around her waist, "Come on Syl, what are we waitin' for? Let's go back to Skyhold already."

"Eager are you?"

"Yeah, for a bed," Sera mirrored the mage's provocative smirk and leaned in an inch away from her face, "To sleep, **not** fuck." She chuckled at Sylvira's obvious disappointment and darted back when the woman tried to capture her lips, "Thought you'd get lucky huh?"

"Your taunting warrants punishment you know, you should be glad I'm a merciful Inquisitor. I'd sentence you to my chambers for life. Tied up and-"

"Got that pervy look on yer face again," Sera held her hand up when the mage tried to kiss her again and snickered when she felt the soft lips collide with her palm, "C'mon sweet talker carry me away."

"Sweeping you off your feet without even trying," Lavellan squat and swiftly hooked her arms under the archer's knees then lifted her, "I'm **good** ~". Sera sighed and rolled her eyes with a subtle smile, she relaxed in the mage's arms. After a time of silence as Sylvira walked, she looked down and shifted her gaze back upwards, "I'm glad you woke up."

"I take it that it wasn't fun to touch me while I was sleepin'?"

"Heh," the dalish woman smiled softly and cussed inwardly when light ringing settled in her ears, _my vision is getting cloudy already, I've little magic and energy left._ She was oblivious to Sera calling out to her and was snapped out of her reverie when she felt a light tug on her scarf, "Oh sorry, you cold?"

"Okay who the fuck are you and what happened to the real Syl?"

"Huh?"

"Yer actin' really weird," Sera frowned, "You never have a scrunchy face and you **never** apologize. The hell is-" realization dawned on her face, "Wait… Were you **worried**?"

"What? Nah!" Sylvira chuckled, "I knew you'd be alright!" She tripped on her feet but recovered just in time, she tightened her hold on the archer. "Stupid rock," she kicked at a pebble.

"Syl," Sera's eyebrows furrowed, "Lemme down, you don't look so good."

"I can't, I tied your shoe laces together. You'll get another concussion and-"

"Hold up, what?" The rogue stretched out her legs and looked, "Ye daft tit! No wonder I lost my friggin' balance earlier you jerk," she chuckled at the proud grin, "Anyways lemme down and untie 'em then, you really don't look good."

"This is nothing," Sylvira adjusted her and hugged her closer, "This is the only time I'll get to hold you, I don't want to waste this chance."

"Seriously," Sera sighed frustratedly, "Jeez if it means that much to you we'll do it again alright?" She rubbed her temples to soothe her headache, "Now put me down, stinky. Yer sweatin' lots, bet yer upset you ain't sweatin' for the right reason right?"

"Yeah," the mage murmured tiredly, "Let's at least make it to the lake then and we can wait for the others to come to us then."

"Others?"

"Oh right, I found that spy guy or whatever and gave him my horse to get to Skyhold. Bring back reinforcements and a healer for you."

"Wait what? You made sure he's one of ours before you did that, right?"

"Uh, well he was beat up and stuff. That's a pretty good sign I'd say." Sylvira stared confusedly when the archer sighed, "What's wrong?"

"Idiot, them pricks are arseholes even to their own. You better hope he's on our side."

"Ah I'm sure it'll be fine. We'll manage one way or another!"

"How the hell are you still happy go lucky?"

"It's because of you," Lavellan lowered the rogue to the edge of the lake and abruptly dove in still fully-clothed, she broke the surface and grinned childishly at Sera, "It's your fault. Coming in?" She smoothed back her bountiful hair stuck to her face as she kicked her feet and stayed afloat, "You'll be twice as wet if we kiss in here."

"Heh," Sera fiddled with her shoe laces and kicked off her boots then rose slowly, "Gonna get sick, swimming with clothes."

"Strip then," mischief shone bright in Sylvira's eyes, "I'll never get tired of seeing you naked." Her heart swelled with hope when the archer sat at the edge and dipped her feet in, only for that hope to be crushed when Sera smirked teasingly. "Aaaaand you're not coming in," she pouted, "Why do you torture me all the time?"

"It's fun," Sera chuckled, "I can't, headache gets worse if I move too much. Don't wanna pass out."

"Oh," the mage swam towards her and braced her palms along the edge as she looked up at Sera, "Never had a concussion before."

"That's a surprise, since yer always getting smacked across the head," the archer teased and reached with her hand to flick water in Lavellan's face. "Not my first one, still sucks shite though."

"I'm already drenched," Sylvira grinned provocatively, "But not for the right reason. Anyways," she adjusted the soaked dangling ends of the scarf with one hand so that it piled up on Sera's lap then clutched the sides of her thighs as she swam closer. "When we get back to Skyhold can we continue where we left off in the war-room?"

"Nope. Now if yer done playing 'round let's go already."

"I know you want me Sera~" Lavellan pouted when the rogue flicked more water in her face then scooted backwards and rose. The dalish woman pushed herself out of the water and gave a quick shake, grumbling when her wet clothes stubbornly clung to her body. "This seemed like a good idea before I jumped in." Sera laughed teasingly and when Sylvira wrung out her shirt, the archer shoved her back in the lake, "Traitor!"

* * *

Luckily, the spy was indeed on their side and returned with the requested reinforcements. Unluckily for everybody else, Lavellan was in a foul mood when she couldn't find her pipe again. Just remembering the fact made her jaw clench and hands tense on the reins as she rode back towards Skyhold. "Just buy another one Syl, you probly lost it in the damn lake."

"That one was specially made though, Harritt bitched for weeks about trying to carve a dragon claw that could hold the bowl properly. You can't just buy a masterpiece," Sylvira sighed and shrugged, "Oh well. He'll just have to make it again," she glanced over her shoulder at the rogue who settled on the saddle behind her, "Anyways, how's your head?"

"Still achy, but not as bad as it was before," Sera spoke hesitantly, "Though that healer was fuckin' creepy."

"I thought she was pretty," Lavellan shrugged, "Magic is always creepy to you."

"And people are always pretty to you."

"Not as pretty as you," Sylvira grinned and stole another look behind her in time to catch the eye roll. "You know, not everything I say is bullshit."

"You'll say anything just to get whatcha want, words don't mean nothing. Especially when you use the same shit with everyone."

"It's different with you."

"Also what you told the last wench you were with," Sera muttered lowly and the mage winced, _shit she's getting angry._ She wisely remained silent for the duration of the journey back to Skyhold, and as soon as they passed the gate the archer slid off the horse and stormed off towards the tavern. _Great, this is troublesome._ She sighed tiredly and guided the mount back to the stables then got off, _I could really go for a smoke,_ she grumbled when she fished in her pockets for her pipe only to remember she'd lost it. _Annoying,_ Sylvira decided to head to the tavern in hopes she could relax with a drink, _the Spymaster better not bother me anymore, if another one got captured_ _she_ _can go save him instead._ She sat at the bar then ordered a round of Dragon Piss from Cabot and snickered with the dwarf, _it all started because of a name,_ she downed the glass as if it were nothing and wiped her lips, _but fuck is rum ever good._

"Lookin' a little down today Inquisitor," the dwarf commented idly as he wiped down a mug, "Ain't like you at all. Somethin' more wrong than the world ending?"

"You know Cabot," Lavellan tapped on the counter and gestured with a peace sign to indicate she wanted a second round, "You must have it easy as a lover. You're the right height if you know what I mean." She grinned when the dwarf chuckled, his low rumbles always spurred her mischief and lightened her up. She rested her chin on her palm and swirled the rum in her mug when Cabot refilled it, "Be honest with me, can you see me settling down?" The dwarf's gruff laughter and how her mug vibrated was all she needed to know, she grumbled as she laid her head on the counter-top, "I can be serious when I want to be."

"Yeah," the bartender grinned and reached for another mug to wipe, "No comment, Inquisitor."

"Fuck you too Cabot," Sylvira laughed, "Just give me all the fuckin' rum you've got." She glanced over to the woman further down the counter and gestured to the dwarf with her head, "And give her a round too, courtesy of the Inquisitor." _Been a while since I've talked to her, wonder what she's been up to._ Cabot chuckled and shook his head but complied, the mage watched from the corner of her eyes as she tilted her head back and downed the rum in one go. The woman's rich laughter filled the tavern and Lavellan grinned as she rested her chin on her palm, swinging her mug in her free hand to issue the challenge. _My greatest challenge yet._

The Champion of Kirkwall.

Hawke came over and tapped their mugs together, "Still thinking you can beat me huh?"

"I will eventually, you have to admit for someone who hasn't drowned her guts for ten years I can keep up with you pretty damn well."

"Yeah, that's true," the golden eyes pierced through and always seemed to be peering into her soul, that was one of the things Sylvira was uncomfortable with. "Don't you think your lover will get jealous?"

"Which one?" The mage scoffed, "If you're referring to Sera she's fucking jealous of the lovers I **don't** have. Starting to think I really am just going to give up and stay friends."

"You and I both know," Hawke teased, "That you don't do 'friends' unless it's friends with her vagina."

"Hah!" Sylvira barked out a short laugh, "Am I really that bad?"

"Gossip's a bitch but it's got to start somehow," the woman shrugged, "In any case, for what it's worth I'd say keep trying. She likes you, you like her, just quit flirting with everybody and maybe by some miracle she'll take you seriously."

"So I'm guessing if I asked you to take me upstairs and show me why they really call you the 'Champion' of Kirkwall that would be considered as flirting?"

"And that's why she doesn't take you seriously," Hawke snickered, "If I didn't know any better I'd say you have a crush on me."

"Yeah right," Sylvira scoffed arrogantly then grinned mischievously, "Even I know I'm way out of your league."

"Damn straight. Hey Cabot, give us something stronger than this piss!" Hawke smiled evilly as she watched Lavellan from the corner of her eye, "Like the Abyssal Peach."

"What?!" The dalish woman's eyes widened in disbelief, "Doesn't that kill people?"

"Oh, not up to the challenge then? Rum's no different than piss, especially since you literally ordered it," the champion smirked confidently, "You came here to drink. If you don't have the balls I won't force you, but you'll have to put on an orlesian dress and dance." Lavellan's eyes narrowed and she looked at the mug Cabot hesitantly brought over, _it's fucking_ ** _on_** _._

Without a spare thought she grabbed the mug and chugged it all in one go, forcefully repressing the urges to cry and cough from the intense burn as she wiped her lips. "That's **it**?" She slammed the empty mug on the table as she rose from her seat and looked down at the woman, "Don't underestimate me! I'll show **you** why dalish are called wild elves," she smirked cockily when the golden eyes narrowed, "Old. **Hag**."

"That's it!" Hawke abruptly rose from her seat, "Bartender!" Together the two women shouted at Cabot in synchrony.

" **BRING ALL THE WHISKEY YOU'VE GOT**!"

* * *

"Fuck," was just about the only word she could manage before another wave of nausea overwhelmed her. Her lips parted instinctively as the warm liquid rose to her throat and decorated the bushes behind the tavern. "Fuck," she rasped hoarsely and braced one hand along the stone wall, the other on her stomach, "Shit."

"You say the sweetest things," Varric came up behind her and chuckled, "You've heard all my stories about Hawke right? You're crazy to keep challenging her after seeing I wasn't making that shit up."

"Shut the fuck up," Sylvira keeled over and puked again, she snapped in irritation when her ponytails kept hitting her in the face and swatted away the dwarf's hands, "I can take care of myself." _Trust nobody but yourself._

Varric rose his hands in a non-threatening manner, "Only want to help. If you passed out in the bushes then all the people will think-"

"Dhava 'ma masa, don't give a shit what others think about me. They talk and fuck me over anyways, invite them over here for all I care. They'll be in a good position to kiss my ass." A small smirk tugged on the corner of her lips when the dwarf laughed only to spread in a grimace when another wave overpowered her senses. After emptying the contents of her stomach she graciously took Varric's offer of water and rinsed her mouth then turned around. "Round two."

"All that whiskey's going to burn the bushes soon, and you're going to challenge Hawke again? Not even Corypheus could out-drink her."

"I'm better than both of them," Sylvira grinned confidently, "I'll beat them someday, you'll see." When she walked back inside the tavern she contemplated on multiple ways to screw the bard. Not in the way she'd prefer mind you, but instead of wanting to make the woman scream, she wanted the bard to- "Shut up Maryden!" _Didn't I tell her before Sera hates that song?_ "She doesn't even like you, just give it up!"

 _Sera doesn't like you either._

 _Shut up,_ having forgotten what she was going to do, she snapped and angrily marched off towards the main hall instead. She waved her hand dismissively to stop Varric before he asked what was wrong and stormed to her chambers, _she likes me. Wants me, and I know it._

 _Give it up._

 _The hell am I arguing with myself for?_ She flicked her wrist yet put too much force in the gust and accidentally blew off the door to her quarters right off the hinges, "Fuck. One problem after another," _how troublesome. Josephine's going to bitch about that again._ Another woman who seemed immune to her advances and she didn't know why, the Ambassador would always skillfully deflect her inquiries and flirting in such a way that Lavellan would get distracted and simply switch to whatever topic Josephine talked about. After balancing the door as best she could to make it seem like it was still in it's rightful place she stomped up the steps, _I'll just blame the person who knocks it down, maybe I'll lure someone here…_

"What the… Hell…?" She gaped at her room, it had honestly looked like a tornado rolled through but she knew for sure it wasn't her fault this time, _at least I don't remember if I played with anyone_. All shelves from her drawer were taken out and her clothes were tossed haphazardly, all the books behind her desk decided to have an orgy on the floor, and she didn't even want to get started with the shape her bed was in. But the one thing that set her off immediately was her table, the disorganized clutter to which she claimed was an organized mess was…

Actually organized **neatly**.

"WHO FUCKED WITH MY ROOM?!" Loud laughter rang out and her head snapped to the source, Sera stepped forward from the shadows that cloaked her at the balcony above the bed. "Sera, why the fuck would you mess with my table?!" _Worse than when Josephine organized it, now I'll never find anything I'm supposed to!_

"Knew that'd be what would piss you off," the archer replied casually, "Since everything's already a fuckin' mess all the time."

"Why did you do it?!"

Sera shrugged, "Just felt like it," she hopped down on to the bed, "Took you long enough to come, waited a while just so I could see this." _She waited for me?_ "Anyways why-whoa," the rogue sniffed tentatively, "Did you drink all of Cabot's stock  without me again?" _Oh shit._ For once Sylvira was at a loss for words and she smiled sheepishly, _I'm so fucked._ As usual, not the way she'd like either. "What the hell Syl? Lemme guess, found another wench to hit on and impress?"

"The Champion," Lavellan started then frowned at the heated glare, "Not like **that** , Creators. It was another challenge," she sighed and brushed past the rogue, "One that I lost again. As usual. Always fucking losing," she strode to her table and instead of using her magic she angrily swept everything off with her arm. "Dorian told me I need to convince you I'm serious," she spun on her heel, "I have no fucking idea how to do that because you've shot me down every time I've tried. So instead," she unwrapped her scarf and abandoned it on the floor as she advanced towards Sera, stealing her lips in a heated kiss. The archer tried to shove her away until Sylvira gripped her wrists and grinned confidently, "Jupalan ma sule tel mar sule'din."

"Let go Syl," Sera growled warningly, "Maybe that works for some other chick, but that pisses me off."

"Ah right, I forgot~" Lavellan teased sarcastically, "What I said was, 'I will fuck you until you have no endurance left' and," she roughly pulled on the rogue's wrists then spun and shoved her to the table, "You're going to be screaming **my** name tonight, no one else." The brown-green slits glinted and glazed with lust, Sylvira smirked in victory when she dove and captured the plump lips with little resistance. _Always plays like she doesn't want it,_ she growled when she felt hands sneak under her shirt and nails rake down her back, _she wants this just as badly._ "As I understand it," she nipped Sera's neck and chuckled, "Fereldans like to dominate but tonight," she parted and possessively kissed the archer. "You belong to **me**."

"Fuck no," Sera hooked her leg around the mage's calf and effortlessly brought her down to the floor. She seethed inches away from Sylvira's face, "I don't belong to anybody, 'specially not you." She smirked triumphantly when she pinned Lavellan's hands above her head and teased her bottom lip with her canines.

"But you do like to dominate, evidently," Sylvira grinned smugly, _if it's Sera I don't care what we do as long as it's her._ Her grin grew when Sera huffed and reached over for her scarf, effectively tying her hands and using the length to her advantage by wrapping it around Lavellan's eyes as well. "Stealing my ide- _mmph_ ," and effectively shutting her up by shoving the end of the scarf in her mouth, _hey_ _now_ _this is going too far!_

"Talk too fuckin' much," Sera lowered and roughly raked her nails along the mage's stomach as she bit into her neck, "I'll show you **wild elves**."


	2. Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Quick explanation- When Sylvira is talking about 'scrolls' to Leliana, she is referring to the Scrolls of Banastor that is collected in DA: Origins. These scrolls contain knowledge and rituals about blood magic. This may help better understand what is going on during the third scene of the chapter, also, the incompetent line is also a reference to Leliana in Origins :P I'm guilty of subtle references lol.

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Telharthan:_ I don't understand

 _Vara:_ Go away

 _Nuva mar'shos'lahn'en ir'tel'dera Fen'Harel:_ May the Dread Wolf never hear your footsteps

 _En pala masa sule'din:_ He [will] fuck your ass until you die

* * *

 **Anything That Can Go Wrong Will Go Wrong**

* * *

Knock. _Don't even think about it._ Another knock. _Just ignore it._ Crash. "Fuck!" Sylvira frustratedly pulled the scarf out of her mouth to stop the muffling, "Who the fuck is that?!" She tugged at the knot tying her hands together with her teeth as the archer collapsed in a fit of laughter and rolled on her back, _we were so close too!_ A hail of curses at her door along with 'I'm so fired' helped her make up her mind on the course of action, "Getting fired is a sign you didn't have the right job in the first place. Also a sign I hope you'll take to heart and find a different post so you leave me the fuck alone after this _._ " The mumbles ceased immediately and mage sighed irritatedly as she slowly rose, "Whatever business you have here make it quick."

"Y-yes Inquisitor," it was Loranil again as he guiltily made way up the stairs, "Y-you're door… Er," he fixed himself and saluted as if having forgotten, the dalish woman waved her hand dismissively and he relaxed. "I knocked it down, uh… Literally? It was an accident and-"

"I said make your business here quick, Loranil," her eyes fell on the paper in his quivering hands and snapped her fingers to rip it out with her magic. She sighed as she read, "Telharthan," _though these_ _rune_ _s_ _and words_ _look familiar, I_ _should_ _have_ _text_ _s_ _to translate th_ _ese_ _._ She looked up at the dalish scout, "Vara." The young man looked at her confusedly and she groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "Do you not know simple elvhen?" _Ironic how I'm more dalish than the dalish themselves, but not surprising since they're just savages dancing around campfires all day._ She shook her head, "Forget it," she turned around, "I said go away. And since you broke the door  you have to fix it."

"A-at once Inquisitor, I'm sorry," Loranil scrambled back down the stairs and muttered something about bringing tools, his frantic steps echoed as he descended the stairs. _Why does Leliana always send him for reports? Is she rubbing it in my face or_ _is it her_ _'love all unconditionally' bullshit?_ With a sharp turn of her heel she brushed past the confused archer and grabbed the abandoned scarf on the floor then wrapped it around her neck, _forget it. Not after my own clan abandoned me to the wolves._ She made way past her table then sifted through the orgy of books on her floor until she had found what she was looking for and plucked it out, slamming the thick tome on her table. _But why has_ _t_ _evene come up? That doesn't make any sense for something_ _that's ancient_ _e_ _lvhen._

"Uh, Syl? What's going on?" Sera crossed her arms and watched as the mage sat at her barren table then sifted through the dusty pages of the old tome, wrinkling her nose in disgust when the dust flew her way. Out of curiosity she walked over and leaned on the table to take a look, "The heck is with these weird lines?"

"Runes, the elvhen glyphs we saw in the Exalted Plains. Cillian has been giving me his research for me to reference his findings with my texts." Sylvira looked up from the tome, her citron eyes stern with an unexpected seriousness, "We're trying to decipher the runes and language, so far we know they are talking about the temple of Dirthamen but we don't know where this temple is."

"Uh… Yeah," the archer fiddled in her ear with her pinkie, "In one ear out the other luv. So no games?"

"Unfortunately for me I have work to do," Lavellan commented idly as she stuck her nose back in the book, "Cabot doesn't have anything left to drink. You're welcome to crash on my bed, we can play after I'm finished. It shouldn't take long," she was unaware of the skeptical look the rogue gave her as she opened a drawer to take out an ink pot and quill, _a temple for the god of secrets._ _Something that old shouldn't have tevene showing up if Tevinters borrowed from the ancient elv_ _henan_ _…_ "Somniari," Sylvira glanced behind her and levitated the books one by one, flicking her wrist to discard them if it wasn't the one she needed.

Oblivious to Sera's presence, she smiled softly as she reached and plucked the tome from the air, "Perfect! Somniari, Somniari," she opened the tevene dictionary and flipped through, "Dreamer? Well that's useless." She glanced back at the research to read the next line and muttered irritably, "Festis bei umo canavarum? You've gotta be fucking kidding me Cillian, translate this shit for me dammit..." She sighed as she licked her fingers and flicked through the pages, groaning out loud when she had eventually translated the line, "You will be the death of me? That's cheerful," she huffed and slammed the tevene tome beside the elvhen, groaning as her forehead followed suit with the table. "So troublesome. I hate work."

"You give up real fast Syl," Sera lilted teasingly and reminded the mage she was still in the room, her head tilted up to see the rogue casually laying on her bed, _oh shit I forgot._ "You don't like any kinda work period."

"Want to motivate me?" Lavellan waggled her eyebrows suggestively and the archer chuckled, "Ooh~ that just gave me an idea..." She rose her head and flipped through the pages in the tevene tome again then grinned proudly, "Ma Aureum."

"If elfy don't work, that probly means other shite won't work either," Sera stuck out her tongue, "I'll bite though. What's it mean?"

"My golden one," Sylvira shrugged, "I think it suits you."

"Take out the 'my' and we're good," both women chuckled and the rogue hugged her knees on the bed, "Anyways, cards?"

"Yes please," the mage huffed exasperatedly and shoved away from the table, "I'll figure this shit out later. I'm feeling a bit off right now," she smirked playfully, "I'll need you to turn me on."

"And here I was worried 'bout what happened to the real Syl soon as you sat down at yer fancy table."

"You always bring out the real side of me, Aureum." Sylvira sat across from the rogue on the disheveled bed and they kicked off the sheets that surprisingly still stayed on, laying on their sides as Sera shuffled the deck. "When I do figure out where the temple is, wanna come with?"

"Do I havta?" The archer sighed then shrugged, "Ugh, guess so. Not like I got anything better to do 'round here. Might as well, need someone to save yer arse after all."

"And might as well be the specialist, right?" Sylvira grinned when Sera nodded, "I specialize in more than just saving your ass, Sera."

"I said your arse, not mine ye daft tit. What the heck do you even save me from?"

"From a life of boredom," the mage levitated five cards from the deck and covered her smug grin with them, "And incompetent lovers." She glanced at the suits and her citron eyes darkened, she huffed and tossed the cards down, "Fuck sake."

"Already?"

"I got one of each fucking suit. Fuck that."

"Figured you'd be happy with having one of everything Syl," Sera muttered bitterly and Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed, _why the hell is she upset now? I didn't even do anything!_ A series of crashes alerted the two and the dalish woman groaned.

"Loranil, nuva mar'shos'lahn'en ir'tel'dera Fen'Harel. En pala masa sule'din. Did you understand that by any chance?"

"N-no," came the hesitant reply from the young dalish hunter, "But it sounded beautiful." Sylvira fell off the bed, legitimately fearing that she was about to die from laughter.

* * *

As soon as Sera slumped down and passed out, the mage carefully slid off the bed and gathered the cards then placed them on the night table. Gently and slowly, she levitated the blanket off the ground and eased it down the sleeping woman. She removed her boots and half-jacket then untied her ponytails, weaving her hand in her hair and giving a slight shake as it fell. Draping the jacket around the chair and tossing the boots beside the table she sat down with a soft sigh, _round two._ She opened another drawer and grabbed her reading glasses, sparing a glance at the sleeping form on her bed that faced away from her, _safe._ She put them on then reached for Cillian's research papers and whispered the next line, "I've'an'virelan..." _Elvhen,_ she sifted through the tomes until she came across the translation, _what the?_ "Fade walker? Dreamer?" _Is it tied to Somniari? What does this have to do with the temple,_ she looked back at the research, "En ehn venir banal ra harel," _shit. If these tomes weren't worth a fortune I'd have given these to Cillian long ago._ She grabbed a separate parchment and dipped the quill in the ink pot, keeping track of her translations in the middle.

 _Somnari – Dreamer_

 _Festis bei umo canavarum – You will be the death of me_

 _I've'an'virelan – Dreamer_

 _En ehn venir banal ra harel – He wh_

Her head snapped up when she heard noises and immediately took the glasses off, relieved to find that Sera was still peacefully sleeping away. Setting back to work, she scribbled on the page as she sifted through the tome to translate the text, her messy writing just barely remained in the center.

 _En ehn venir banal ra harel – He who mastered the dark that lies_

 _Ea el'ghi'lan -_

 _Sul'ama em'an leanathe -_

 _These don't seem to point out where the temple is, but what happened within. Explorers, or worshipers? The tevene may be from others who have discovered the temple,_ her eyes scanned down Cillian's jotted words and she smiled, _perfect, I don't need the tome for this._

 _Sil - Mind_

 _Av - Tongue_

 _Da'lav - Hands_

 _Uren - Ears_

 _Inan - Eyes_

 _Lath'in - Heart_

Scanning to finish the remaining two lines, she leaned back in her chair and balanced on the hind legs as she flipped through the pages, her dangling scarf and hair swaying to and fro as she rocked back and forth. The small thuds and thumps were starting to get on her nerves and play with her paranoia, she found herself darting up from her tome to check if Sera was still asleep or not. _Need to relax._ _Could go for a smoke, forgot to tell Harritt to start the new pipe._ She looked behind her at the empty shelves, _I kept my old one somewhere didn't I?_ A quiet sigh escaped her lips and her shoulders felt tense, _need a drink, or play, something. This text is getting on my nerves._

 _Ea el'ghi'lan - Be our guide_

 _Sul'ama em'an leanathe - Give us glory_

 _None of this makes sense,_ she grumbled, _Cillian turned up nothing useful._ She scanned the small sketches of runes, _he gave me the same ones that I found in the Exalted Plains._ She huffed and took off her glasses, tossing them on the table and pinching the bridge of her nose before rubbing outwards. "Working again?" Sylvira's head shot up and her eyes widened when the archer sat at the edge of the bed, blinking blearily as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. _She didn't see the glasses right?_

"Yeah. Finished half of it," the mage slammed back down on her chair and closed the tomes then rose from her seat, "By the look on your face I'd say you had a good dream of me right? Reality is better than dreams, Sera. I'm proof of that."

"Already?" The rogue groaned when Lavellan made way towards her and leaned down, "Hold on." She directed the dalish woman's chin away to stop the kiss and chuckled, "I said hold on, I'm still waking up."

"This will wake you up faster, it's a breath of fresh air. You see the brain is deprived of oxygen during the first few-"

"It's a breath full of shit Syl," Sera stuck out her tongue, "I ain't falling for it."

"I wouldn't want you to," Sylvira smirked as she walked back towards the table to gather her boots, "Falling is painful. Fortunately for you, I know how to heal. Keep that in mind the next time another incompetent lover wounds your heart." Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she just barely heard the quiet whisper, "What? Like me? I've never been your lover." Her smirk grew into a confident grin, "That can be easily rectified though."

"Forget it Syl, I ain't gonna be a part of yer long list. Just give up."

"The 'list' ends with you," Lavellan retorted then rose her hands in mock-surrender when the rogue glared at her, "Alright fine. But the next time you complain I'm having fun with someone else," she gritted her teeth, "You remember this exact fucking moment." She shoved on her boots and stomped over to her chair, wrestling on her half-jacket and fixing up her hair in the same lopsided and jungle-like fashion as before. She turned to the archer who glared at her without restraint, her jaw tense and fists clenched yet this did nothing to deter Sylvira, "You're playing games too, Sera. We kiss, then we don't, then we do and then we don't. I know what I want and I've known since Haven, you still can't make up your fucking mind. I'm not going to sit like a puppy and be jerked around on a leash."

With a tug of her scarf to loosen it up and quick shrug of her shoulders to fix her jacket she set out and lingered at the stairs, "Be straight with me, do you really want me to give up? Just be friends?" Her lips pursed in a thin line as she watched Sera's back, there was no movement, no indication. She sighed, "I'll see you later, Aureum. Feel free to sleep here if you'd like." She walked down the stairs and flicked her wrist to open the door, pleased to see it had been fixed properly, _I guess Loranil found a job he's decent at._ As she left she missed the quiet mutter and stuffed her hands in her pockets, whistling a bouncy tune as she descended the tower. _Time to tell Harritt to make me a new pipe. Pain in the ass for me,_ she slumped slightly and grumbled, "So troublesome..."

* * *

Sitting alone and playing chess is…

 _Really. Fucking. Boring._

"Damn," Sylvira looked around the barren garden, "Everybody's sleeping," _don't want to wake up Sera,_ "She'll bitch some more," _she needs to rest from her concussion._ She sighed frustratedly at the contradicting thoughts, _no matter what I do she's on my mind._ "She's known how I feel for her since the templars came on board," her eyebrows furrowed, "Two months? At least." She slumped in her chair and rested her ankle on her knee, levitating the pieces and dropping them where she wanted. _It's like chess,_ at that her temper flared, _I refuse to be a pawn for her to move me where she feels. This is why emotions are troublesome. You like someone, go for it and see where it goes, why's she making it seem like I'll drop her like a hat?_ "Haven's a pretty fucking long time on top of that. If that doesn't scream 'I want you' then I don't know what the fuck does."

 _What the hell does she want from me? She does the same shit, am I complaining? No._ Her musings were cut short when the sounds of a chair being dragged back alerted her, her head snapped up and her eyebrow rose in confusion, "Sister Nightingale?" The orlesian woman nodded tiredly as she sat in her seat and shuffled closer to the chess board, the mage quickly reset the pieces as she watched Leliana. "It's about time you took a break. All work no fun, that's a slow and torturous way to die."

"I'm afraid not Inquisitor," the Spymaster smiled coyly, "I've one urgent report for you."

"At least one game first then, if you're afraid of dying you've already got that covered with the stack of papers on your desk just waiting to fall down. Death by paper cuts." She chuckled when Leliana sighed, "Exactly!" She extended her hand for the report and levitated it beside her, gesturing for the woman to make the first move.

"You're being played, Inquisitor."

"Well that's awfully early to call Checkmate. Clearly you've not seen me play yet."

"No, the report," Leliana gestured with her head towards the paper, "It's rather… Problematic. You won't like it."

"When have I ever liked reports?" Sylvira sighed and plucked the paper from the air, she shrugged nonchalantly as she read the letter, "So? What should I care what he wants? Blackmail is hardly problematic compared to the wealth of shit I have to deal with on a daily basis."

"This is a delicate matter, if the templars were to find out..."

"Then send him your best agent-scratch that. Second bes-actually you know what I'll handle this one myself," the mage rose, "If I remember correctly, you and the warden happened to 'deal' with Knight-Commander Harrith as well. Things would be problematic for you as well," her lips spread in a coy smile, "Wouldn't they, _bard?_ " Her smile grew into a smug smirk when the Spymaster's features contorted for just a split second before back to a composed expression, she shoved her hands in her pockets, "Don't misunderstand me. I'm grateful, the Collective was as well. Anyways I'll be leaving now, make up a suitable excuse for me while I'm gone would you?"

"You're going by yourself, Inquisitor?"

"Of course, after all," Sylvira waved dismissively and turned around, "I have to try not to look incompetent. It's embarrassing after all, wouldn't you agree?" She snickered quietly when she glanced over her shoulder and noted the woman's look of surprise, "Checkmate. Oh and send my thanks to the warden for the scrolls. I've been putting them to good use."

"Inquisitor!" Leliana rose abruptly, "You can't-"

"Let me be clear, I haven't been _using_ them, I've been putting them to _good use_." The mage walked away, "I'm no delusional fool who thinks demonic blessings taste like 'sweet nectar'. Of all the things to write," she grumbled, "Besides, rituals and godhood is too much work."

* * *

Opening the door in her usual manner, Sylvira walked up the steps to her chambers and made way to her table, stealing a glance at the sleeping form on her bed. Her lips curled softly, _she stayed…_ She shook her head, _of course she did, she can't resist me._ She looked around the trashed room to gather what she needed, her travel satchel stuffed to the brim with multiple scrolls, and a worn tome with a chain to clip on her belt. _Ah yes the belt,_ she scanned the clothing haphazardly tossed about the floor and her eyebrows furrowed, _where is it?_ Giving up quickly she decided the fastest and easiest way to find out was… "Sera? Hey Sera," she walked over and gave a slight nudge to the archer then knelt down to be eye level, "Where did you put my belt?"

"What…?" The rogue grumbled unhappily then swatted away Lavellan's hand, "The fuck you mumbling 'bout Syl?" _It's you who's mumbling_ _half-asleep_ _,_ the mage noted and smiled with amusement, _sleep here forever if this is what I get to see._

"You have a sexy sleepy voice Aureum," Sylvira teased and smirked at the grumble, "Anyways. Wake up already," she nudged a little more, "My belt. Where'd you put it?"

"What," Sera snapped irritatedly, she propped herself up on her elbow and she glared at the mage responsible for interrupting her sleep, "Belt?"

"You know, the leather one with the two small pouches and-jeez it's the only one I've got anyways. Have you seen **a** belt when you tore my room apart?"

"Was already torn apart 'cept the table and bed," the rogue mumbled and sat up, "I'll help ya look for it then buzz the fuck off so I can sleep again." _And just like that things are back to normal between us,_ Sylvira chuckled, _as if nothing ever happened._ The two plucked at clothing and tossed it in one pile as they sifted through the wreckage, "Where you goin' anyways?"

"Out, for a bit."

"Don't gimme that crap Syl, where?"

"Do I have a curfew mother?" Sylvira grinned when the archer huffed, "I have some business I need to take care of by myself."

"What sorta business?"

"Shady business," the mage shrugged, "It's best if you stay here."

"Not happening, someone's gotta keep arrows out yer arse. If you ain't gonna take me along at least take someone else, Syl."

"I can't," Lavellan raked her hand through her hair when she felt the glare on her back, "Look, even telling you it's shady business is too much information. Nobody can know about this, alright? That's why I have to go alone."

"The hell kind of trouble did you get yourself into now? Fucked the wrong girl?"

"I didn't fuck **anyone** ," Sylvira snapped irritatedly and when Sera scoffed she blurted without thinking, "I never have." _Fuck sake,_ she tugged at her scarf and sighed frustratedly at the rogue's skeptical look, "I'm being blackmailed from someone I used to work with, alright? It's shady business because I'm going to go help the guy dig his grave. Satisfied now?"

"Exactly why you need someone to cover your back in case he takes you in his grave with him then," the archer retorted heatedly, "You know me Syl. Arrow up the arse for anyone who fucks with us yeah?" _Trust no one but yourself,_ Sera found the belt and extended it to the mage who gazed at it with a blank stare, "I'm the only one allowed to fuck with you." Lavellan let out a half chuckle and looked up as she grabbed the belt then secured it so that it hung low on her hips, _us, huh?_

"Especially when it involves the bed," Sylvira clipped the tome's chain to her belt and adjusted it so that the tome hit the front of her thigh. She checked inside the two small pouches of the belt, _there's the elfroot, but still no pipe._ "Hey, any chance you came across my old pipe too?"

"Oh yeah, I put that in one of your drawers, can't remember which." Sera crossed her arms as she watched the mage, "So am I coming?"

"Nope," Lavellan grinned smugly at the exasperated look on the rogue's face, "Drop the pants and you will." Sera chuckled and shook her head with a sigh, "I'll meet you at the stables and make it quick. Do not breathe a word of this to anyone, we have to leave before anybody notices," the archer nodded and turned to leave, "And Aureum?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks. It's nice," _to have someone I can trust,_ "To have a partner to help bury the body." Sylvira opened the first drawer and looked at the glasses sitting beside her old pipe, _I don't usually put them in this drawer do I?_ She shrugged and sandwiched the pipe in between scrolls in her overflowing satchel.

"Fuck bury," Sera smirked, "Leave 'im for the fuckin' wolves, Syl."

"And this is why I like you! Great minds think alike!" The two women grinned mischievously as Sera waved her hand and walked away.

"You dirty bastard."

* * *

"This is where we're meeting him?" Sera whispered and looked around, "This place is fucking creepy Syl."

"Don't worry, there's a huge lake to stop from demons swimming over to possess us," the mage reassured and stuck out her tongue when Sera's head whipped towards her, "I'm just kidding. Come on if we're lucky maybe the tavern owner's still running the business here, drinks on me." _The Spoiled Princess, it's been forever and a half since I've stepped foot in here._ They hopped off their horses and tied the reatas to the post outside the building, "Eyes sharp."

"Always luv," the archer stayed close behind Sylvira as they entered the tavern, the two calmly scanning the desolate and eerie room. "Well there goes the drinks. You sure he's here?"

"Have a look around, got to be at least one bottle here. Cheap bastard was a hoarder," the mage made way for the bar, "Anyways, Knight-Commander Harrith? Your savior is here. Did you bring a shovel?" She rose her eyebrow when two templar archers popped up from behind the bar and sighed as she turned around to lean on the counter, "I said a shovel." _So there's rogue templars still huh?_ She glanced over at Sera who aimed her arrow at the templar archers, but also had a dagger at her own throat. "This your romantic way of asking us out on a date, Harrith?"

"Still as charming as ever, _Inquisitor._ " The Knight-Commander clapped his hands as he rounded the corner from the hallway and into the room, "You understand my caution, I hope?"

"Of course, business as usual." Sylvira could hear light ringing in her ears as her vision blurred and she sighed, "Relax on the anti-magic will you? I'm not stupid enough to fight a group of templars, it's too much work." She glanced at Sera, _have to get her out,_ _too tight in here_ _._ "Put the weapons down and let's conduct this like mature adults." She grimaced when Harrith got up in her face, the man trapped her against the bar and she blinked as a warning to the archer for her to stand down. "Didn't I give you a recipe on how to fix your bad breath?"

"I see the Collective also trained you to be a jester," Harrith leaned back, "Did you bring it?"

"Bring what?" Lavellan winced when the man grabbed her collar and slammed her into the bar, "Calm down. You know for a guy you sure act like a little bitch."

"Enough jokes, or your servant pays for it. Did you bring the lyrium?"

"I don't even know what you're talking about Harrith, what lyrium?" _And what servant?_ She glanced at Sera, _does he mean_ _A_ _ureum?_ "You're mistaken by the way," she gestured to Sera with her head, "I **wish** she was serving me."

"This ain't the time for jokes, Syl!" Sera barked, "Give the arsehole what he wants and lets go!"

"Look," Sylvira looked at Sera then the man, "I honestly don't even know what you're talking about. You know how I work Harrith, I'd give it if I had it. Troublesome matters are annoying as fuck. If you want lyrium then let me leave to go grab some for ya."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"Yes?" Lavellan chuckled when the man glared, "Okay, okay, no more jokes got it. Only trying to lighten the mood, relax. In that case have my _servant_ go, you can hold me as hostage until she comes back."

"What?!" Sera's eyes widened, "Fuck that! And I ain't yer servant!"

"Well thanks for leaving me to die," Sylvira grumbled, "Go, Sera. That's an order," she stared sternly in hopes the archer would somehow know what she really wanted. _I'm taking a chance I never would with anybody else_ _._ Sera reluctantly eased on the bowstring and put the arrow back in its quiver, she sighed frustratedly and glared at the man who still held the dagger at her neck. The mage looked at Harrith, "Mind telling your men to point their sharp sticks elsewhere? My servant doesn't prefer little knives." The man silently scowled then after some time he gestured with his head and the templars sheathed their weapons, as the rogue walked away Lavellan called out, "Hey, servant!" She grinned when Sera flipped her middle finger, "Got your cards? I gotta do something or else I'll die with these broody fucks." The archer shoved her hand in her pouch and slammed the deck on one of the nearby tables, never looking back as she left.

"Still haven't grown up from being a little brat, you're just as talented as ever at pissing people off," Harrith muttered lowly, "She better bring the lyrium or it's the end of the road for you."

"Yeah, yeah, don't have to tell me," Sylvira made way towards the deck of cards and ignored when the templar archers trained their arrows on her, "Hey Harrith, Wicked Grace?"

"Only if the stakes are clothes," the man leered as he looked up and down her body and Lavellan shrugged.

"That goes without saying. It isn't any fun otherwise. Should just save yourself the time and strip now, _Knight-Commander_."

"Think you can seduce your way out of this? I hadn't known the Collectives trained you to be a-"

"Don't misunderstand me Harrith," Sylvira rose her hand to signal the man to stop talking as she made herself comfortable on the chair, she reached for the deck and began shuffling while she kicked her feet on the table. "I don't prefer little knives either."

* * *

"Fuck," Sylvira huffed as she threw her cards down and the templars roared with laughter, "I bet you're using your anti-magic to cheat." She stood and hooked her thumbs in the waistband of her breeches then yanked them down, tossing it to the man who had a pile of clothes composed of her half-jacket, shirt, belt, satchel, boots and even socks. She was down to her underclothes and scarf, "Enjoy the show Harrith, it'll be the closest thing you'll ever get to a woman's body."

"Still talking nothing but shit as usual," the Knight-Commander leaned forward and hid his sadistic grin behind his cards, "What do you suppose will happen if your servant doesn't come back?" _Wonder how long it's been anyways, an hour maybe?_

"Well," Sylvira shrugged, "If you're stupid enough to touch me, then I suppose the Inquisition will capture you alive, flay your dicks, and make you watch as your bits are fed to the messenger birds." She smirked when the other templars visibly cringed, "Yeah. That's what I thought too, so keep it in your pants."

"You're not at all worried about your army knowing you used to be in the mages' collective?" Harrith snorted as he laughed, "Do you have any idea what would happen?"

"Probably stupid templars with stupid grudges who'd think it'd be a great idea to blackmail or riot during the end of the world, you know. Sort of like what you're doing?" Lavellan levitated five cards from the deck and had a look of boredom even when the templars unsheathed their weapons, "Relax, I'm just tired," she yawned, "Too much work to reach for the cards." She took a look at her hand, "Fuck, are you kidding me? One of each suit again."

"That so?" Harrith leaned forward with a perverted look on his face, "Well now, just your scarf before you start stripping, babe."

"That's smoking hot babe to you," Sylvira reached behind her with the cards still in her hands and the templars whistled, "I'd rather die than give my scarf to you. Consider it your lucky day Harrith, looks like you won't die a virgin after all." The Knight-Commander laughed until he choked, his hands flew to his throat and the templars behind the man thought he had simply choked on air. _Exactly,_ the mage smirked smugly, she snapped her arm forward and whipped the cards with a flick of her wrist. She enchanted them with air and two cards sliced into the carotid artery of the two archers, unfortunately leaving Harrith and two other swordsmen behind. Before the swordsmen could react or the Knight-Commander recovered from the gust of air stuck in his throat, she grabbed the belt with her tome and breeches as she rushed out of the tavern.

"What the fuck took you so-" Sera's eyes widened as she shouted, "Why the fuck are you almost naked?!" She anchored an arrow, letting loose and killing one of the swordsman behind Lavellan.

"Harrith rigged the fucking game!" Sylvira jogged over to where the archer had been situated around the corner of a small shack and hastily wrestled her breeches on, "Didn't think you'd actually stay." _Out of range for them to dispel, perfect._

"I said I ain't," the archer released another arrow that naturally found it's mark in the second swordsman's head, "Your fuckin' servant, didn't I?"

"Heh," the mage snapped the belt around her hips and sifted through the tome, "Hmm... What sounds more painful, should I-"

"Just snap his neck and be done with it, this fucking creepy place is getting on my nerves Syl. Sitting out here in the creepy fucking muck is-"

"Okay I got it, I got it," Sylvira sighed and as soon as the Knight-Commander stepped out of the tavern she rotated her palm upwards to levitate one of the dead men Sera killed, "I'll just beat a mother fucker with another mother fucker." She flicked her wrist and the corpse went crashing into Harrith, then piled the second corpse on top of the man as she sustained a gravity field rooting them into the ground. "You should thank me Harrith, now that you won't be dying as a virgin. Since in the end," she clenched her hand into a tight fist and the gravity field compressed, the sound of bones snapping resounded in the air. "Life fucks us all."

Shoving her hands in her pocket she glances over her shoulder, "Wanna play a few rounds before we head back?" She smirked when the archer shrugged as she holstered her bow and clasped her hands behind her head, "I saw a bottle stashed behind the counter. Told ya the cheap bastard would have one."

* * *

After extracting the cards from the templars' necks and washing them along with her feet in the eerie lake, Sylvira yanked her boots on then jogged back to the tavern and grinned when the archer had stolen her half-jacket. "You always look good in whatever you wear," she levitated her shirt and dried the cards then tossed it back in the pile, "But you look best in my clothing. Naturally."

"Naturally," Sera repeated and chuckled, "This don't look much but it's actually pretty warm, like your scarf."

"Cold?"

"Little bit, booze'll fix that right up though and-" the rogue stared confusedly when Lavellan wrapped her scarf around her, "You ain't even wearing nothin' but a damn bra, aren't **you** cold?"

"You must be Andraste, because you're on fire and you're warming me up." She laughed when Sera stared at her with a dead-pan look before chuckling as well, "Good one?"

"Yeah, yeah," the archer shuffled the deck and took a couple gulps from the bottle before passing it over to Sylvira, "So. You gonna tell me what I stood an hour in the muck for or gonna pretend nothin' ever happened?"

"Pretend nothing ever happened," the dalish woman shrugged, "Nothing you haven't heard that you can't piece together yourself."

"Didn't really pay attention, was a bit busy not havin' twitchy fingers be the end of us."

"Ah..." Sylvira glanced up and sighed when the archer watched her with scrutiny, _she's not going to let this go is she?_ She sighed as she picked up her cards and stared blankly, _two knights, one angel, two serpents, not bad._ "I'm not actually dalish, well I am and I'm not." She laid her cards down and hadn't even cared that she won the round, Sera idly shuffled the deck and dealt again. "See, the dalish have this dumb rule that if there's too many mages then they go to a different clan, and if they can't do that well..." She shrugged, "I was left for wolves to have a nice bony meal when I was a kid, dunno how old. Maybe ten? Doesn't really matter." _Trust nobody but yourself._ "Anyways long story short, joined up with the Mages' Collective, end of story."

"Hold up, that's it? C'mon Syl th-"

"I don't want to talk about it." Lavellan's eyes hardened, "I like you because you don't give a fuck about the past. Keep it that way." Bitterness welled up in her and she abruptly rose from her seat, "Let's go, this place pisses me off and it's making the mead taste sour." She plucked her shirt and wrestled it on as she made way out of the tavern, _t_ _oo close._ She sighed frustratedly and raked her hand through her ample bangs then glanced over her shoulder to see if Sera caught up yet, _she's_ _close._

"Here," the archer held something out in her palm with Sylvira's satchel in the other hand, _is that..?_ "Better than booze for you right? Look like you need it, should have some matches in my pouch." The mage nodded gratefully and took the pipe into the corner of her mouth, Sera turned around for her to search in the back pouch until she found the box of matches. _She's too_ _damn_ _close,_ she opened up her own pouch and took out the small container of crushed elfroot then filled the bowl, compressing it with the tamper every now and then. She ignored the rogue's worried look as she struck the match against the edge of the box and circled the flame in the bowl, flicking her wrist to extinguish the fire as she took a couple of test draws. _Vara._

"Thanks," Sylvira adjusted the pipe as she put the box of matches back in Sera's pouch and took her satchel from the other hand, "Always know how to cheer me up, Aureum." She shoved her hands in her pockets as she walked back to the horses, "Come on, time to leave 'em for the wolves."

"Fuckin' A."

* * *

Both decided to travel to the nearby Redcliffe tavern and rest for the night before heading back to Skyhold in the morning. Unfortunately instead of, you know, actually resting… Sylvira decided flirting and starting a party with the patrons was much more appealing. Sera sat at the counter and ordered another round of mead as she watched the mage flirt with the tavern owner, and then the wench, then a customer before the drunken woman decided to grind on some other elf as the bards drummed a blood pumping tune. _Tch_ , the archer rested her chin on her palm and took a swig of the mug, _next she wonders why I don't take her seriously._ Enough was enough, her mead tasted sour and the exhaustion was irritating her, she left a few copper for the bartender and left for the room they've already rented for the night. _Always playing with someone Syl,_ the archer was confused when something flew in front of her face and she followed it down, the soft material wrapped around her stomach and pulled her backwards. She collided into something and glared over her shoulder, "The hell are you doing Syl?"

"Fishing for the beautiful woman of my dreams with my scarf," Lavellan grinned smugly and tugged her closer, "I picked up and perfected a few moves, tipped the bards and told them to play us a special song." _She never quits._ "Come on have some fun with me, you've been sitting at the bar giving me dirty looks all night. Unless you were trying to suggest doing the dirty in our room?"

"You just never stop Syl," Sera chuckled, "I'm tired. Wanna sleep, I'll see you later, alright?" She lifted the scarf over her head and slithered away, only to be stopped by the bloody thing again, "Syl c-"

"Are you a mage? Because when I look at you, everybody else disappears," _for the love of-_ "What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in the room?"

"Stop, Syl. I'm not some chick you can flirt with for a few minutes before ditching and flying to the next one."

"Few minutes? Ditching?" Sylvira pulled her closer with the scarf, "How long have we known each other? How long have I come back to you, for you?"

"So you think leavin' me at the bar to flirt with some random person then come back to me when I get fed up and leave is what, it makes everything okay?"

"...Yes?" Lavellan chuckled when the archer huffed, "Come on Sera, you've heard what I say to others. Is it **really** that bad to tell someone else that they look pretty? You do the same thing."

"When you come and tell me the same, yep."

"So you want to be the only one I say those words to, is that it?"

"Already told you I don't share, Syl."

"Perfect," Sylvira lifted the rogue by the waist and started to walk towards their room, "Time to seal the deal and make you mine then."

"Put me down!" Suddenly Sera was dropped back on her feet and the dalish woman behind her groaned, she was confused to see Lavellan gripping her forehead with her hand and sweating profusely as if in pain. "The fuck is wrong with you? Are you alright?" The mage brushed past her and stumbled along as she placed her hand on the wall for support, _did she drink too much again?_ When she got close to hook Sylvira's arm around her neck she had been swatted away, "Oi you ain't lookin' too good, just lemme help you get to our room." _Pissing pride as usual._

"I can take care of myself," Lavellan seethed through clenched teeth, "Just… Show me where it is and don't walk too far. I can't see." _Oh it's this_ _again._ Sera glanced over her shoulder and watched the mage intently, _too much of that templar shit for her_ _._ She opened the door to their room and stepped inside, placing all the locks and chains when the mage brushed past her, "The bed, where's the bed?"

"Straight ahead luv."

"I said the bed Aureum," Sylvira scoffed, "Not the fucking window. Nice try." The archer snickered and walked towards her, gently grabbing the scarf and pulling her towards the bed, "Some hot rough sex and no thinking would be nice right about now. Don't suppose you agree?"

"How the hell can you still think 'bout that when yer in pain ye daft twat," Sera shoved her down to sit against the edge of the bed and pulled off the half-jacket, "And how the fuck can you have that perverted look on your face? Jeez," she chuckled when the mage grinned, "You're impossible."

"Impossible is only an opinion, not a fact," Lavellan unwrapped the scarf and quickly whirled it once over Sera's neck, her hand shot down to either grip at her left bicep or blocking her eyes at each wave of pain. _Wonder why it always hurts the same spots but she never fucking tells me,_ "My tome, page 134," Sera complied and hesitantly flipped the book open, unhooking the chain from her belt and bringing it close to Sylvira's face as the mage read and chanted the _rubbish_ spell that was to help her. "Next time," the dalish woman grimaced as the pain slowly ebbed away, "Remind me not to play Wicked Grace with so many fucking templars around."

"How the fuck d'ya put up with all the ones at Skyhold?" The archer walked over to the drawer and took the bottle with the mugs, ripping the cap off with her teeth as she poured the drinks for them. "Bet that's why yer a prick there all the time."

"That hurts my feelings," Lavellan grinned and took the mug, downing the rum without any hesitance. She laid the tome on the night table and fished for her pipe in her pockets, sifting through the pouches for the container of crushed elfroot as Sera brought out the matches.

" **You** have feelings?" The two elves chuckled and Sera struck the match against the box, handing it to the mage to circle and light the pipe herself.

"For you I do," _fulla shit, it's_ _only coz I keep tellin' you no._ Sylvira muffled casually as her hands worked, she flicked her wrist to extinguish the flame and tossed the match on the ground. After taking a couple draws she plucked the pipe from her mouth to down the second round of rum then shook her head, a content sigh escaped her lips, "Good burn, good shit."

"Better be, with all that coin you tossed stingy's way."

"Bartering is too much work, fucking troublesome," Lavellan held out her mug and the rogue smirked in amusement as she refilled it, _where the hell does she hold all this? She's been drinking all night,_ _more than me._ Suddenly the mug and pipe the mage held in her hand dropped and she gripped her left bicep again, "Fuck sake!" _Her mark thing acting up still?_ "Is there a fucking templar in the hallway or something? One bitch I refuse to compliment no matter what."

"Wha'bout Coryphenus," Sera set her bottle and mug down, grinning when the mage laughed.

"He's powerful, that's all I'll give him. But he's uglier than an abomination baby," _ugh, gross_ _don't wanna think 'bout shite like that_ _._ She hissed and gripped her bicep tighter, "Aureum, could you please leave the room for a moment? Need some privacy for a sec," the archer shrugged and set out only to freeze in her spot, _wait…_

 _Please_ _?_

"Okay who are you and what happened to the real Syl?" _She really hurting that bad?_ "You never say please," the dalish woman let out a weak chuckle and Sera's eyebrows furrowed, _she really don't look good at all._ "Hey," she approached Sylvira and bent over a little, when she reached for the mage's arm she was suddenly pushed back, "Oi! What the fuck?!"

"Don't touch it," Lavellan hissed, "Just leave the fucking room Sera. **Now**."

"Didn't I tell you? I ain't your fuckin' servant," the rogue marched for her until she collided into some sort of an invisible wall, "The fuck is your problem?! You're making yourself worse!" She banged her fists on the wall as she watched the dalish woman rapidly degenerate, as soon as the wall had dispersed on it's own Sera rushed and caught Lavellan before she slumped forward to the ground. _Fuckin' pride,_ she gently pushed the mage by her shoulders and swung her legs over the bed, "It's alright if it's just me who sees you look like shit innit? Nobody's perfect Syl," _and yer somebody, not nobody._ No response, the woman seemed to be unconscious. She glanced at Sylvira's face, it had been scrunched up in agony and blood trickled out of the nostril, _why the hell do you push y_ _ou_ _rself to keep people away?_ The sweat cloaked her skin to the point her shirt had gotten damp, _j_ _ust like yer glasses,_ the rogue wrestled the shirt off and abandoned it on the ground. _I know you best and even I didn't fuckin' know about them,_ she sighed in frustration as she realized that even though she had known Lavellan better than anyone else, she still barely even knew who the woman actually was apart from what she  lets people see. It was only accidental moments if the mage had either forgotten Sera was around that she found out little tid bits of information Sylvira had for some reason kept locked away.

Walking to her pack she searched if there had been anything she could use to wipe the sweat off, _nothin', seriously?_ She looked down at the scarf loosely wrapped around her neck, _probly would be pissed if I used this._ She raked her hand through her hair, _drinks a ton and uses up all her magic just to keep me back,_ she went back and plucked the damp shirt from the ground, her nose wrinkling in disgust as she bunched it up and wiped Lavellan's forehead. The woman had been breathing incredibly hard as if she had just run a marathon, and Sera occasionally glanced at the hand that tightly squeezed the arm. Out of curiosity she reached out to touch it until the mage rasped quietly, "Don't..." _She's not asleep?_ "Get," she swallowed audibly, "Out."

"No ye daft tit. Don'tcha know better than to drink as much as you did? That plus whatever the big helm polishers did to you s'like digging yer grave." Her eyebrows furrowed angrily when Sylvira weakly grabbed on to her arm, she easily yanked out of the grasp, "Fuckin' pride, look how much good it's doing for ya." The mage croaked out and Sera leaned down, "What was that? Didn't hear you," Lavellan muttered hoarsely and the rogue stared at her in confusion, "Rum?" She glanced at the pipe and the mug on the ground, the contents spilled and decorated the carpet, "Fuck no, no more drinkin' for you. Now shut up and go to sleep," she continued to wipe down the sweat and lifted the pipe then set it down on the table, ignoring the mage's constant protests.

"If you don't shut up I'll knock you out 'til you sleep permanently. You want that Syl?" The woman's face contorted once more and another groan slipped past her lips, _why the hell is she in so much friggin' pain? What the hell?_ Sera glanced over her shoulder when there were soft knocks at their door, "Go away! We're busy!" She muttered quietly, "Fuckin' Inquisitorialness is wasted." The knocks grew louder and more frequent along with Lavellan's protests, "Fuck sake everyone's gonna get a fuckin' arrow up their arse!" Sera stormed towards the door and whipped it open, her eyes widening at the men clad in templar armor. Before she could react one of them grabbed her and smothered a cloth over her face, whatever substance coated it had made her drowsy within seconds. As her vision darkened she finally realized what Sylvira had been trying to tell her all along.

 ** _Run._**


	3. Two Sides to Every Coin

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Though Tevene isn't 100% "Latin" (it incorporates elements of it) the words I use in this chapter aren't 100% "Tevene" but actual latin. I'm not entirely sure if in the DA universe they would call it 'Latin' however, so I've called it Tevene (but by no means am I claiming that is what it truly means when translated since I'm not a linguist). You'll know what I mean by this in about ¾ of the chapter :)

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Pala'lin:_ Go fuck yourself ('len male, 'lan female, 'lin neutral)

 _Nuva iovro av na, I etun na sule ven, Dalas manean'en:_ May the bear devour you and shit you in the river so you kill the fish

 _Vya esaya gera assan i'es'var'av'ingala:_ They would try to catch an arrow with their teeth (aka: they are morons)

 _Fenedhas:_ Uncommon curse :P Wolf pussy (variation of common curse _Fenedhis:_ wolf dick)

 _On nydha:_ Good night

 _Ma dahn:_ My bee

* * *

 **Two Sides to Every Coin**

* * *

 _Fuck, what a friggin' headache,_ Sera groaned as she slowly roused until she was fully snapped awake by the sound of gruff chuckles. She blinked rapidly until her eyes focused on the two figures, Sylvira had been smiling guiltily with a very plainly obvious 'I'm fucked' expression as she was trapped between a half-dressed templar man and the wall. _What the fuck?!_ She quickly glanced down only to find her wrists and ankles cuffed as she sat on the floor then back at the damning situation. The mage herself had been down to her underclothes and socks with her belt loosely hanging on her hips, "Uh… I'm not gonna lie," Lavellan gulped nervously and a lone sweat drop traveled down her face as she smiled sheepishly, "It's exactly what it looks like." The templar man laughed and grinned sadistically at Sera as he inched closer to Sylvira's lips, _seriously, why am I not surprised._

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sera frowned when the mage grinned cheekily, "I'll never get how you can play cards every time you're captured." The templar's head snapped to her and he wore a look mixed in between disbelief and confusion.

"What else am I supposed to do," Sylvira retorted, "They're templars. I can't kick their asses with magic and cards is all that's left."

"Except you always lose, loser."

"Anyways," Lavellan purposefully ignored the jab, "This guy promised that if I win we can get out of here. But if I lose all my clothes then we die."

"What the fuck?! And you agreed to those stakes?!" Sera visibly blanched when the dalish woman grinned confidently and gave a thumbs up, "You idiot, we'll definitely die then! Let me play Syl!" _This friggin' loser, ain't no way I'm dying over cards screw that!_

"Have some faith in me, damn! I get lucky sometimes," _yeah big fat_ _sometimes_ _!_ "You know I actually liked the idea of you getting jealous and thinking we were making out or something."

"Are you daft?" Sera scoffed and sneered at the confused man, "You don't like little knives. Anyways quit playing around and kick his ass already, yer taking too damn long."

"Yeah how am I supposed to do that?" Sylvira looked at the templar, "Excuse me, will you please allow me to kill you?" The man shook his head in a daze, still confused at the entire situation, "See?"

"Do what you did last time then, or come take your scarf off my neck and choke him," the archer hummed as she looked around, "You could bash his head in with the chairs too."

"That's too much work," Sylvira casually darted under the man's arm that trapped her to the wall and walked over to Sera, she knelt down and inspected the cuffs, "How about I free you and you kill him for me?"

" _Tch_ ," the rogue sighed frustratedly, "How many times do I havta tell you? I ain't your friggin' servant. Besides how the hell am I supposed to do that when I'm all cuffed up?"

"On second thought stay there while I deal with him," _great, she's got that perverted look again, bet it's because of the cuffs._ Sylvira rose and spun on her heel, she cracked her knuckles and brought her fists to her face to which Sera started laughing. "Hey! I'll have you know I-"

"You can't fight worth shit!"

"Am a certified ass kicker," the mage grumbled, "No damn faith in me. Anyways," she dropped her stance and sauntered towards the man, "I'll kill him with my good looks and a nose bleed then," _I can't tell if she's serious or joking anymore._ Sera felt a tinge of jealousy when Sylvira placed her palm on the man's bare chest and the templar finally realized that the two women were  seriously talking about how to kill him in front of him. And were actually serious. He shuffled back and rose his arm, his palm had a light blue mist and Sera's eyes immediately flew to Lavellan when the woman groaned lowly, _she shoulda done this shite when he was still wonderin' if we were real or not, fuckin' joker always talks too long._ Within moments the mage was pinned to the wall with her wrists above her and blood trickled out of her nostril, her citron eyes clouded, _not good!_ Sera tried to climb on her knees and cursed at the heavy cuffs and chains, _fuck Syl, why didn't you kill him earlier?!_

"You know," the templar man seethed with a perverted grin, "I've never had me a wild elf before," his hand lowered and roughly groped Sylvira's breast, _I'll cut your friggin' hands off!_ "To think you two blonde bitches were seriously retarded enough to talk about all that shit in front of me. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"...Yes?" Lavellan croaked out and managed a half smirk before the templar sent another wave directly through her and she yelped, the thick blood flowed freely from her nostril.

"I'll fucking kill you!" Sera bared her teeth and snarled at the sadistic man, _if he don't stop Syl really will die like this,_ her frustration welled up and she snapped when the cuffs made it impossible to stand, "Fuck!" The templar's cackles resounded in the room and his hand traveled lower to Lavellan's belt, Sera's eyes widened when his fingers slid on top of the square buckle, _he just dug his fucking grave._

"Say..." Sylvira rasped out and chuckled weakly, "Now that I think about it, you fit the description of the mages gave me when I helped them run away from that stupid tower. Knight-Captain Hadley, right?"

"Who cares who the fuck he is Syl! Kick his ass already!" Sera's voice wavered, _why would she stop him?! Fuck sake Syl!_

"It's because of apostates like you that the land is torn apart, my title means nothing now," the templar spat bitterly, "Fucking Greagoir lost his mind and joined your army. And if I had known about Harrith's treachery earlier-"

"Treachery?" Lavellan snickered, "You seriously didn't know about his deals with me? I was bribing the guy with lyrium all the fucking time," her snickers erupted into mocking laughter, _Syl what the hell are you trying to do?!_ The man slammed her against the wall and sent another pulse of anti-magic through her, she groaned in agony and her head slumped forward, _quit talking you fuckin' idiot…!_ Her lips parted and she muttered venomously, "You're a failure of a templar. A shame, a stain on the order."

"Shut the fuck up bitch! You're the failure," Hadley sneered as he roughly jerked her head up by her chin, "It's engraved in your very body." Lavellan's eyes widened and she momentarily glanced at Sera, _why the fuck's she look scared now?_ Another pulse and she shouted, the archer tried to stand but went crashing to the ground as the templar howled with delight. His hand traveled back to the belt and once he unsnapped the lock of the square buckle, both women grinned maliciously. The buckle had been rigged and the top lid swung open, the contraption released a poisoned dart straight into the man's genitals, _fuck yeah, cocksucker fell for it!_ He keeled over immediately and Sylvira mustered all the strength she had to kick him in the chin, she stomped on his groin as she spat at his face. _She sure is into some weird shite._

"Not surprised you were thinking with your other head. Should have been more cautious, **failure** ," her lips spread in ruthless smirk as she dug her heel in to add further insult to injury. "What's that Hadley? Can't tell what you're saying, sounds a lot like you dying or something." The man groaned with each twist of her heel as the potent venom rapidly coursed through his system, "Anyways," she knelt down and casually felt along his pockets for the keys to Sera's cuffs, "Thanks for the cards, it was fun while it lasted. Should have kept playing." Giving up her search she adjusted the lid of her buckle to close and grinned when her finger slid underneath, pushing in to unhook the clasp. She momentarily laid the belt on the table as she re-dressed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand, her scowl evident as she stared at the crimson stain, "Fuck that's annoying." _They took us without even giving her friggin' shirt back at least, ain't she cold?_

"Hey Syl," Sera sat back on her rear end and breathed easier while the mage continued her search for the keys, "Did that arsehole say anything 'bout how they found us at least? Might help us get out."

"Yeah," Sylvira grumbled as she tossed the armor plates around then fished inside the shirt pockets, dangling a set of keys as she walked towards the archer, "And you're not going to like it." _Huh?_ The mage sighed and sat down, "Does that mean I can't tease you about bondage?"

"You just did ye daft tit," Sera chuckled then held out her wrists for the woman to unlock, rubbing them and relieved the cold metal was gone. "So… What won't I like?" Lavellan raked her hand through her hair then stood and walked over to the table with the cards, she picked something up and tossed it over to the rogue who caught it effortlessly. She held it up to her face and turned it over, "A ring?" _Sure looks fancy. Worth a few sovereigns I bet._ The golden band had blue gems spread apart as they circled the ring, and there was some sort of script engraved inside that Sera couldn't make sense of. The weirdest part was that it seemed like it hummed to her in an odd hymn-like manner. _Creepy..._

"Will you marry me, Aureum?" Sera stuck out her tongue and tossed the ring back when the mage chuckled, "It's my signet ring to be precise," Sylvira's eyebrows furrowed as she watched the archer with a conflicted expression. "It proves I was in the mages' collective, back then if you were caught the templars were pretty harsh bastards. And as you've witnessed, some are stupid enough to carry grudges even now. Anyways," she strode to Sera then knelt and unlocked the ankle cuffs, "It was taken from my quarters, from my drawer." _What…?_ The rogue's eyebrows knitted together as Lavellan glanced up, the citron eyes betrayed her thoughts.

"W-wait," _no way, does she think-_ "I didn't steal it Syl. You know I don't touch shite like that."

"What? No I know you wouldn't," Sylvira let out a heavy sigh, "I actually trust you." She hesitantly met the razor sharp slits, "But somebody did. And you're the only one I allow inside my quarters unless I'm-" her face scrunched up for a moment when she paused, _huh?_ "Bothered by someone."

"So then… Who? And what's this ring got to do with that prick finding us?"

"Clever bastard used it to trace the wavelength of my magical energy," _no idea what that pish means but okay,_ "With it after Harrith failed to… Come back to him. As you very well know why," the mage smirked for a split moment before it was replaced with a solemn expression. "Sera..." Lavellan let out another sigh, "Fuck this is troublesome." She rose abruptly and extended her hand, while Sera struggled to stand she hastily spoke, "A servant must have stolen it and leaked the information. Possibly even to another templar already in the Inquisition." She spun on her heel and stormed towards the door after gathering the cards, "I'm not going to lie Sera." She glanced over her shoulder, her eyes hardened and practically radiated anger, "I'm going to wring out that fucking servant's neck myself. Then I'll chew out miss _Spymaster_ for having something as simple as this slip under her nose. Some master." The archer gaped at her and looked down, _Red, not me? You know it's me who's buddies with them. Who would even fuck with Syl like that?_ As she followed the mage she wracked her brain for answers, guilt welling up the longer she had to think, _how the fuck didn't I know?_ "Aureum?"

"Yeah?" The archer looked up and was confused to see the look on Lavellan's face, _is she… Worried? Yeah right not her, friggin' happy-go-lucky loser,_ "Let's just find me somethin' to shoot with Syl, deal with the other arseholes first yeah?" The mage grinned arrogantly and waved the cards around, "You ain't playing Wicked Grace ye daft tit! You'll get us fucking killed in no time!"

"Jeez I don't suck that badly," Sylvira grumbled, "Anyways, I meant I can use them to slice and stuff like before. Enchantment is child's play for me and-"

"You ain't getting blood all over 'em either!" Sera effortlessly swiped the deck and glared at the woman, "Had these forever, wanna keep it that way." _You were the one that got me this set back in Haven._ She shifted her gaze to the ground when the mage shrugged and they continued walking, "Hey, Syl?"

"Yeah Aureum?" Lavellan hadn't glanced back and shoved her hands in her pockets, quietly cursing as they descended winding stairs.

"Uh… Well sorry, yeah? 'Bout the servant thing and all, I sho-"

"Wait, what?" Sylvira turned around and her eyes danced with amusement, " **Sera** is acknowledging **blame**?! Where is Coryphispit, it's the end of the world!"

"Shut up ye daft tit," the archer chuckled, "Hard enough to say it."

"Well," the dalish woman grinned cheekily, "You've got nothing to be sorry for. You were dragged in my mess after all, and now my dashing rogue is busting me out of it." _What… The hell? If it were somebody else she'd probly even tell 'em they owe her._

"So you should be sayin' your sorries and thanking me then," Sera grinned mischievously, _that'll never happen though._

"In your dreams. I tried to warn you too so you can't blame me!" Sylvira stopped suddenly and the rogue collided with her, _oi what the heck!_ "Hey, I know of a way I can thank you though. And you'll," she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "Love it."

"Perv," Sera teasingly leaned in and darted backwards when the mage tried to kiss her, "Nope! Think of somethin' better."

"I **knew** I should have kept those cuffs on you," Lavellan grumbled, "Torture you instead. Only that it'd be the kind you like."

"Me, or you," the archer stuck out her tongue and laughed when Sylvira tried to catch that too, "You suck at this, loser."

"Come on," she closed in and trapped Sera against the wall, palms resting beside the rogue's head as the two grinned provocatively, "I should have a reward for getting us out of there, don't you think?" Suddenly her face scrunched up and she pushed away as she gripped her forehead, "Fuck, suspicious bastards. How the hell can they always keep that shit on?" _Templars again?_

"Yer just jealous that they last longer than you," the archer poked out her tongue and patted Lavellan's rear end as she stepped down, "I need somethin' to work with, we can't just chuck shoes at 'em."

"Well we could, then run the fuck away... But your legs must be tired because you've been running through my mind nonstop." _That didn't take her long._

"And go barefoot in the muck? No way," the archer ignored the tease and handed the deck back, "Don't use 'em or I'll stripe you up. Come on we gotta get moving one way or another." Her eyebrows furrowed and she glanced back at the path to ignore the woman's condition, _she'll push herself just to look tough too, then we'll both be screwed if she passes out. Pissin' pride._ When they got to the bottom of wherever it is they were, Sera stole a look over her shoulder and noticed the mage's sweat-slicked face, _breathing real heavy too._

" _Fuck,_ " Sylvira whispered, "So much work. I hate work," she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand, "I'm taking a nap after this."

"Sleeping for half a day ain't a nap Syl," Sera teased and her eyes darted around as they stalked the eerie hallway, the farther down they got the tunnel the easier it was to hear the woman's breathing. _Can't sneak up on them if they hear her,_ the rogue looked back, _shit she really don't look good. What the fuck are we supposed to do?_ Suddenly Lavellan's eyes snapped wider and she straightened, "Uh… What just happened?"

"I-" Sylvira glanced at her left palm and flexed it for good measure then stretched her neck left and right, "Don't know? But I feel pretty fucking good," she grinned happily and stretched her arms above her head, "Sweet, I don't feel sick anymore!" She let out a couple of content moans as she stretched farther and Sera chuckled, she ignored the way her stomach churned as her eyes trailed along the mage's curves she casually flaunted, _all the damn fucking time too_. "Come on, let's get out of here. We still have that special song back at the tavern to dance to." _That's what she thinks 'bout after all this shit?_

"Jeez Syl," the archer laughed as she set off jogging after Lavellan, "Thought you said you didn't like work?"

"It's never work with you, our effortless relationship fits perfectly with my laziness."

"Hah yeah I'll bet," Sera mirrored the grin when the dalish woman looked back, "You know I don't do dancing."

"Neither do I!" _Did she forget that she was-_ "But for you, I'll learn and do anything." _Sometimes I wonder if you remember saying those exact words to the last chick._ When they finally made it outside, the two elves tilted their heads in confusion and their jaws slackened, "Uh… Not that I'm really complaining," Sylvira looked at Bull and Dorian who were surrounded by the rogue templar corpses, "But what the hell are you two doing here?" _Friggin' right on they brought horses. I'm buyin' Bull a barrel._

"Yo Boss," the qunari rose his hand and grinned as he set his axe down then thumbed to himself, "Ben-Hassrath, remember?"

"Well yeah but..." The mage shrugged, "Oh well. Explain on the way back to the redcliffe tavern then, I have a dance I can't miss." She grinned as Sera rolled her eyes and held out her hand, "Shall we, milady?"

"Ugh don't call me that ever again. You just never quit, do you?" The archer brushed past her and the two amused men as she marched towards the horses with Lavellan on her heels.

"I know exactly what I want and I'll stop at nothing to get it."

"Problem is you want one of everything, Syl."

"What's wrong with wanting the one who has everything? You're the only one for me."

"I bet you're only after my body."

"That's right."

"You actually admitted it!"

"Come on Sera, what's it going to take?!"

"Ugh just shut up, get on the horse and let's go back ye daft tit."

"Insulting your master is a punishable offense _servant_ ," Sylvira laughed when Sera shot her a glare that could kill. She grabbed the saddle horn and hoisted herself up then extended her hand to the archer, "You know, I was supposed to have my nap."

"Well too bad lazy loser," Sera settled in behind her and scowled at the two chuckling men, "And you two, shut up already!"

"Why so touchy, imp?" Dorian had a mischievous glint in his eyes, "Or rather, **not** touchy in your case. Poor Inquisitor."

"I know right?" Lavellan grumbled, "She's mad because I saved her. As usual." She laughed when the rogue thwacked her across the head, "See?"

"Quit spreading your shit 'round or you'll kill all the fuckin' animals. **As usual**." Sera scooted closer, "Ugh I'm gonna regret this," she hesitantly gripped the dalish woman's hips and Sylvira immediately glanced over her shoulder with the largest shit-eating grin, "Yep. Regretting it." She couldn't help but chuckle nonetheless, "Come on Syl, you always take so fuckin' long. Let's go back already, because  I was the one that was s'posto go sleep, remember?"

"Scoot closer and sleep on me then," her attempt to not have her grin grow even larger failed and Sera snickered, _she's so easy to see through._ "I'll be your pillow. Feel free to kiss and hug too."

"I don't even hug or kiss pillows ya daft twat. I'm not a baby like you, y'know."

"But I'm not sucking your nipples. That can be easily rectified though."

"Good lord," Dorian's haughty laughter echoed across the field when he and Bull caught up to their horse, "You two can make the blue sky blush with how you talk. Are you planning to flirt with Corypheus and slay him with wit?"

"Nah," Sera grinned mischievously and playfully nudged Sylvira, "Her face will convince him to go kill himself instead."

"Hey are you calling me ugly?!" Lavellan protested but then paused abruptly, "On second thought that's not such a bad idea."

"Jeez just how lazy are you, Syl?"

"And if that doesn't work then I'll challenge him to a game of cards. Or chess… Maybe throwing knives? Now that's something I'm good at."

"This world's so fucked."

"I aim to please, Aureum."

* * *

"Didn't you wanna dance? You tipped them and everything Syl," Sera wore a mischievous grin and the companions bit their lip to stifle their laughter in order not to be on the receiving end of somebody's wrath.

"I changed my mind," Sylvira spat viciously, "All those idiots didn't even see a group of armored up shitheads carry our sleeping asses out! Are you serious?! Pala'lin!" She turned around before she went up the stairs and pointed to one of the patrons that stared at her, "Nuva iovro av na," she pointed to the wench she flirted with before, "I etun na sule ven," she huffed and angrily whirled around as she threw her hands up in the air, "Dalas manean'en!" The woman continued her ranting and stormed up the steps then down the hallway, Sera turned around and bit into her knuckles as she leaned on Bull with Dorian doing the same as he hid behind the qunari. The giant himself crossed his arms and pursed his lips as tightly as he could, the low rumbles bubbling in his chest spurred and vibrated the other two.

"Fuck, I'm gonna lose it soon," the archer chortled as they heard Lavellan shout in the background.

"Vya esaya gera assan i'es'var'av'ingala!" _This is the only time her elfy rubbish is just too good,_ the group lost it and began howling with laughter. The rowdy crowd hardly paid any attention to the entire spectacle, "And you! Who the fuck are you?! Fuck it, I hope your dick rots off and the cockroaches eat it!"

" _Bull_ ," Sera wheezed in between breaths before another bout of laughter, _fuck my ribs are gonna die!_ "B-Bull," she wrapped her arms around her stomach, " _Help… me!_ " The qunari was too busy trying to save himself and after some time after the door slammed shut in the hallway they slowly walked up the steps, periodically stopping when laughter took them as the force mage still hailed curses in all sorts of dialects in her room. "S-shit," the archer rasped out, "She really hates being ignored."

"To be fair," Dorian started, "Wouldn't you be if you were kidnapped and nobody even noticed? Truly tragic indeed." Sera stared at him with a look that just said 'really…?' "Never mind. Since it happened to you too."

"Exactly." As they made way up the stairs the archer grinned as she placed her hand on the door handle, taking a deep breath in an attempt to compose herself while Lavellan **still** cursed. "Shit guys," she glanced over to the two smirking men, "I don't think," her voice cracked, "I can do this."

"If anyone can it's you Sera," Bull gave a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "You do it all the time, certified expert at this shit. Anyways if you need anything we'll be next door."

"Right. Don't try to make too much noise I really wanna sleep," the rogue stuck her tongue out at Dorian when the man averted his gaze and coughed in his fist, "Don't break the bed whamming, y'hear?"

"No promises," Bull chuckled and the men disappeared in their own room, Sera heard the giant's muffled whisper, "Did you hear that vint? Time to break the walls!" _Shit, no wonder Moustache walks funny sometimes if that's what the big guy does to him. Well,_ she steeled herself and tried to keep her face neutral lest the tornado inside sweeps her up in the mix, _if she thinks I'm makin' fun of her_ _now_ _, shit will definitely fly._ Opening the door and stepping inside as quickly as possible her jaw slackened slightly as she scanned the disheveled room, _shit has already flown._ Their packs opened and contents spilled out save for some scrolls that miraculously stayed inside Sylvira's satchel, the clothes that  used to be on the dalish woman ended up in peculiar places, _how the hell is her sock even sticking to the fucking ceiling?_ And the bed sheets themselves had been promptly tossed, _or something…_ Across the room.

"Shit Syl, are you seriously that pissed?" She glanced at the mage now lying calmly on the bed with her back facing Sera, _is she alright?_ Walking over to the opposite side and kneeling down she smirks at Lavellan's sleeping face, the peaceful features all but betrayed the madness that happened mere seconds earlier. She frowned at the dried trail of blood running from the nostril down the soft lips that promised all sorts of things except what the rogue truly wanted, commitment. Granted she wasn't serious about a lot of things, _but you gotta be with stuff like this._ _This_ _matters,_ she reached over for the closest pillow thrown on the ground and licked the corner, dabbing along and gently wiping the blood off the mage's lips. _That stupid smile on her face,_ she grinned fondly at the memory, _she never gives a fuck about the shit that goes tits up._

 _ **You've got nothing to be sorry for. You were dragged in my mess after all, and now my dashing rogue is busting me out of it.**_

"I never need to see the sun again," Sylvira murmured as she blinked blearily into focus and Sera was startled out of her reverie, _oh shit woke her up by accident._ She abandoned the pillow back on the floor and the mage's lips spread in a lazy smile, "Because your eyes light up my world."

"Go back to sleep honey tongue," the archer chuckled and rose with the intention of going to the couch until Lavellan gently grasped her wrist.

"At least sleep with me."

"That's a pretty big 'least' Syl," Sera shook her head as her lips curled into a smirk, the mage let out a weak chuckle and instead let go to reach for the dangling ends of the scarf.

"Don't mean _that_. Just… Innocent sleeping."

"Do you even know what innocent means?"

"As a matter of fact I do," the lazy smile spread into an arrogant grin, "Not guilty of a crime, harmless and free from corruption."

"Smart ass," _too clever._ She looked down and contemplated it for the moment, "Ah fuck it," _what's the harm?_ "Shove over." As Lavellan scooted backwards, Sera reached to untangle the scarf until she was suddenly pulled forward and crashed on top of the laughing mage, "Syl!"

"What? Not my fault I'm super strong," Sylvira grinned when the archer stuck out her tongue in mockery, "Keep it on, for my reward." _Uh… What? Here I thought she'd nag for kisses too,_ Sera shrugged and laid on her side, chuckling when the dalish woman immediately scooted forward to spoon her.

"Right. So~ innocent."

"I'm just hugging! Come on I can do this right? It's just friendly."

"Uh huh. Real _friendly_." She shuddered lightly when warm puffs of air hit spots not protected by the scarf and gritted her teeth when heat slowly pooled between her thighs, _fuck you really make it hard._ The arm draped around her waist and a hand snuck under her shirt to trace lazy circles around her stomach, "Syl," she whispered huskily, " Too friendly."

"Your hand looks heavy," Lavellan pulled out from the shirt and lightly brushed her fingers along the rogue's forearm to her hand, "Let me hold it for you." Sera chuckled, _this all over again,_ she tensed when she felt soft lips trail tender kisses along the curve of her shoulder, "Even if there wasn't gravity..." The hand swept up and gently cupped the archer's chin then guided to the side, Sylvira rose slightly to peer into the glazed brown-green eyes, "I'd still fall for you." _Honey tongue,_ Sera's eyebrows furrowed and conflicting feelings raged within her, _sweet but chance it'll sting._ She made no move to resist when the mage lowered and captured her mouth, the sensual slow dance of their lips gradually made her ache stronger.

 _She'll get bored, leave, just like with everyone else,_ she moaned when the hand left her chin and slid over her breast, kneading through the shirt and bra, _then life'll be friggin' boring again._ Her heart constricted painfully, _it really hurts always seein' her with others_ , it hadn't helped when she remembered about Hadley before he roughed up the mage and how Lavellan looked perfectly comfortable despite not liking men nor people up in her face. _Or maybe she does? Dunno anything anymore, I don't know_ _her_ _her either,_ with her mind made up she tilted her head away and broke the kiss as she gently grasped Lavellan's wrist, "Sera?"

"I'm tired, Syl. Let's get some sleep, yeah?" She ignored the mage's lingering gaze and Sylvira settled back behind her, the arm was about to drape around her waist until the woman paused.

"Is it at least alright if I hug?" _You really know how to make it so damn hard to say no,_ the archer nodded slowly, and relaxed when the familiar pressure was back, _if only you didn't fucking do this with someone else every chance you got._ She bit her lip when bitterness welled up in her at the memory of watching Sylvira grind with some other elf, and the way that elf looked at the dalish woman made Sera want to punch the both of them in the face. "Hey," the archer was snapped out of her musings, "If I show you something will you… Promise not to laugh? And keep it a secret too." _What the?_ "No, before you ask no it's not perverted."

Sera chuckled, "Sure, why not?" Disappointment welled up in her when the mage scooted away and off the bed, and the cold that slithered up her spine was most unwelcome. Lavellan walked in front of her and gently pulled on the ends of the scarf with a sly grin, "I told you I ain't a mutt on a leash Syl," she poked out her tongue when the woman laughed.

"Give me a minute to uh," Sylvira looked at the window then muttered to herself, "Yeah definitely got to be cold out there," she glanced back at the archer, "Lemme dress up real quick." _She_ _wants to go outside? Now this is getting weird._ The mage rushed on her breeches and shirt then quickly hooked the belt on, she tossed the half-jacket to Sera, "Might want to put that on. It'll be troublesome if you catch cold."

"For me or you?" The archer murmured idly and missed the soft smile when she shoved her arms through the sleeves, "Where we going Syl? And-" her eyebrow cocked up in interest when the woman quickly rolled the blankets and tucked them under her arm, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Just come on and see," Lavellan went to the window-which was more like a giant hole-and turned around to lean backwards, _the heck is she looking up for?_ The mage threw the blankets up and used her magic to guide them on the roof of the tavern then hooked her fingers along the stone edge, "Give me a few and I'll pull you up." Sera watched with amusement as the dalish woman struggled to hoist herself up, _she won't let me help her even if I lit her arse on fire._ Her eyebrow cocked in interest and she grinned mischievously, _on second thought…_ She fiddled through her pouch and took out her matches, she was about to strike the edge and light one up until she heard Sylvira call out, "I forgot to bring my satchel!" _Huh? Oh piss she climbed up._ "Can you grab it?"

"Yeah," the archer slung the satchel over her neck and adjusted until it sat comfortably on her hip, she strolled over to the window and peered up but saw nobody, "My turn?"

"Hold on," _what the heck is she doing?_ Light footsteps and quiet mutters filled the silence, "I'm setting up a romantic picnic for you," the playful lilt in her voice never ceased to make Sera grin. _Bullshit, what_ _ta_ _friggin' loser I swear,_ the woman's head popped over the edge and she extended her arm, "Grab my hand."

"You sure you can even pull me up Syl? You had a hard time with yourself."

"Fortunately that's where magic comes in," the rogue blanched at that and she seemed hesitant on taking the hand, _I know she's different and alright but…_ "I don't mean  magic-magic Aureum," Sylvira grinned reassuringly, "I mean I work magic!"

"That's the same shit ye daft tit!" Sera sighed and reluctantly grabbed hold of her hand, "Alright let's just get this piss over with." Oddly enough she suddenly felt lighter and the mage pulled her up with little difficulty, as soon as she touched the roof her weight was back, _guess she didn't need magic after all… Or did she? That was weird._ She looked at the one blanket carefully laid out and the second that bunched up on the side ready to cover them, "Uh..." She wasn't quite sure what to make of it, and when she looked at Lavellan she had been entirely confused, _she was serious 'bout this not being perverted? What the hell is going on?!_ "Okay who are you and what happened to the real Syl?"

"What? I can do sweet stuff too sometimes."

"Yeah, big fat sometimes," Sera eyed the cheeky woman warily as Sylvira climbed up to the sheets then sat down, she shrugged and followed suit then sat beside her. "Here," she took off the satchel and handed it over, "Now what's going on?"

"Patience," the mage chuckled and smirked smugly, "Take it nice and slow."

"Knew it was perverted."

"I swear it's not! Besides you can't deny that you'd like that too," both women childishly stuck out their tongues then erupted in laughter, when they gradually calmed down Lavellan laid down and rested the satchel on her stomach as she blindly poked around inside. She nervously glanced at Sera and this didn't go unnoticed, _I've never seen her like this._ "Uh..." The mage sighed and pushed her ample bangs back, revealing her forehead as her hair splayed beneath her, _she looks really pretty like this._ "Promise you really won't laugh?"

"Syl," Sera's eyebrows furrowed, "Yer starting to scare me now. I won't laugh, alright? Now what the hell is wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Sylvira took a deep breath and purposefully averted her gaze to the stars as she muttered hesitantly, "This is a secret hobby of mine." _What…?_ _This_ _is what she's nervous about?_ Her lips parted to tease the woman but promptly sealed when realization dawned on her, _she's never opened up like this before. What the hell changed?_ Sera slowly laid down beside her yet was unsure of what to say, "Lame… Right?"

"S'fine innit? I don't see anythin' wrong with that," the archer stole a glance from the corner of her eye and shuffled closer for warmth, "Which hobby though, sleeping on a roof or staring up there?" _Is it coz_ _I know 'bout_ _her shady jobs or whatever?_

"Star gazing," Lavellan replied carefully then pulled out a parchment and carefully wrapped lead where the tip was sharpened, "And drawing the constellations."

"Consta-what?" Sera shivered and scooted closer until their shoulders brushed, "Can you pass the second blanket over?" The mage nodded and draped the sheet over both of them with the majority of it bunched up over Sera, Lavellan planted her feet down and rose her knees to rest the satchel on her thighs as she drew whatever it was she saw in the sky.

"You know those astrariums we occasionally find?" Sylvira glanced over and smiled at the blank expression, "Those big balls with a stick," the two women chuckled briefly, "And you complain that I'm a perv when you are too. Anyways, those relics that shoot the glowy beams after I solve the puzzle?"

"Oh those, yeah what 'bout 'em?"

"They let me see the sky, and the puzzle is to draw the constellation the relic is pointed to. A constellation is a fancy tevene word for a group of stars that form a pattern," _always explains this shit in a simple way and never teases me._ "The one I'm drawing now is Tenebrium, an owl."

"An owl?" Sera looked up at the night sky filled to the brim with stars, "They never end and they're everywhere, how the heck do you see a friggin' bird outta that?"

"You'll see once I finish," Lavellan set to work and her hands blindly drew of their own accord as her eyes darted left and right, connecting the imaginary lines in her mind. _Always has to do two things at once,_ the rogue noted, _most people can't even do one thing good._ "While I'm drawing," the dalish woman murmured without breaking concentration, _or more than two,_ "Are you interested in hearing the story behind Tenebrium? I have to warn you though, it's a mixture of a little elfyness and the Old God Lusacan."

"I guess, but I'll probly fall asleep," she could have sworn the mage's lips quirked in a small smile and her eyes softened, Sera could see the stars reflect in the depths and the citron nearly glowed in an array of different greens and yellows, _so pretty…_

"In that case maybe another time then, I'd rather you stay awake if possible." _She's too damn different like this,_ Sylvira tilted her head and her smile quickly expanded into a perverted grin as she waggled her eyebrows playfully, "Need some inspiration?" The archer chuckled and scooted closer until their hips touched, _never mind still the same._

"Shut up and keep drawing perv, I wanna see it when yer finished."

"Per aspera ad astra, mea lux," _huh?_ _Too clever._

"Alright, I'll bite if it ain't elfy."

"Tevene," Lavellan smiled softly as she followed the next imaginary line in the stars and traced it on the parchment, "The first phrase per aspera ad astra, can mean one of three things that are similar but the common one's 'to the stars through difficulty'." She glanced over and mischief danced in her eyes, "Though I prefer my version, 'from shit to sparkles'."

"Oh, I like that one better too. Makes sense anyways."

"Right? Knew you'd like it!"

"And the second one? May ah lucks or whatever?" _She askin' for luck? She needs it, 'specially so we won't die coz of cards._

"Mea lux?" Sylvira averted her gaze back to the stars and shifted uncomfortably in her position, "Uh. You're not going to like it."

"Can't be all that bad from the shit you usually-"

"My light," the mage blurted out and Sera could have sworn there was a light dust of pink on her nose before it faded just as fast, "Told you, you wouldn't like it." _No way, pretty sure that was just my imagination._ She desperately tried to ignore the warmth throbbing at her own ears, _honey tongue can say anything, don't fall for stupid words again._

"Like I said take out the 'my' and we're good," the archer poked out her tongue and grinned when Lavellan chuckled. "Y'know you always come up with somethin' new to call me." _Maybe she just forgets the old ones?_

"For all mean 'Sera' in the end," _huh?_ "Every word. Besides," the dalish woman smiled softly, "It's fun thinking up new ones for you every day." _Never seen her smile like that so much,_ Sera looked back at the stars with her, _a secret hobby huh? A promise between us…_

"Say, you like to peep on people up here too?"

"Of course. I wouldn't be a pervert otherwise," Sylvira joked and reached inside her satchel, "I've even drawn naked people having sex in the bushes!"

"What? Really? Lemme see that!"

"Ah, ah, ah, fee is one sovereign."

"I thought you said bartering's too much work!"

"It is," Lavellan shrugged and had a bored look already, "Here you go." She suddenly looked away and Sera could have sworn the woman's lips pursed, _what the?_ She glanced down at the parchment that was given to her and instantly deflated.

"Seriously." The mage erupted in gleeful laughter and Sera stared at her with a deadpan look, "Stick people? Even I can draw better than this ye daft tit. It just looks like-"

"It's actually a _constellation_ of people having sex," the archer's eyes widened and she held the parchment up to the sky for reference as she desperately tried to connect the imaginary lines, only to cast a murderous look when Sylvira bellowed out once more. Her stomach churned as the vibrant and rich laughter rumbled through her and she couldn't help but grin back, _only I make her laugh this hard._ Her heart ached a little at that, and her grin faltered to a small smile as the dalish woman gradually calmed down. "Whew," Lavellan wiped the tears at the corner of her eyes, "I haven't laughed like that in a long time. Thanks Lux." _Only thanks me,_ _nobody else._

"Don't think yer getting off like that so easily," Sera's eyes danced with mischief, "For makin' fun of me like that. You watch yer back next week."

"I prefer to watch yours," Sylvira waggled her eyebrows playfully and the archer chuckled, she handed back the parchment and it along with the rest of the drawing tools were promptly stuffed in the satchel with little regard. The mage laid back down with a huff and extended her right arm out to the side before Sera followed suit, "Here, I forgot to bring up the pillows."

"We'll catch cold if we sleep up here," the rogue shrugged then slowly laid down as she positioned her head on the crook of the shoulder and bicep, "Screw it. I get to say I slept everywhere now."

"Roof was the last place on your list hm?" Lavellan chuckled and bent her elbow so that her hand rested on Sera's shoulder, "Your head is heavy." She yanked the blankets up a little higher so that it went up to the archer's ears to shield her face.

"Well your face is heavy." _How's she always warm?_

"Ouch! You're meaner to me today, even with all this romance in the air."

"Like you said, yer a pervert but in a romantic way yeah?" _Smells nice under here too._ Despite the lingering metallic scent of dried blood and the remnants of anti-magic gradually filtering out of Sylvira, _fruity,_ the rogue's eyebrows furrowed as she inhaled again, _how the hell does she do that without perfume?_

"Is there a specific reason why your nose is pressed into my neck, Lux? The right reason, I hope?"

"Tryin' to figure out what kinda fruit you smell like," Sera stated nonchalantly and shuffled even closer, unaware of the woman stiffening, "Sweet and flowery but sour. How the hell do you do that?" Lavellan let out a strained chuckle yet it was muffled by the sheet covering the archer's ears, "Still got that templar shite seepin' out your skin, it's hard to tell."

"You know I could just tell you," the hoarse timbre betrayed Sylvira and the rogue mentally kicked herself, _shit teasing her without meaning to._ The light musk filtered in the array of smells and a light pang brought her attention to the heat slowly pooling between her own thighs, _fuck sake, why's she always gotta make this so damn hard for me?_ Not trusting her own voice she nodded, "Mango," the mage replied after a moment of silence, _I can hear her heart beatin' hard like this._ "I make my own," Sylvira coughed to clear her throat of its rasp quality, "Uh, like an ointment kind of. A butter, I guess? It's great for the skin and hair," _she's trying hard to ignore it._ "Helps keep my skin clean and gives it that shiny glow, and as for my hair-fuck it," the sheet lifted and Sera could see the mage peek under, "Can I just fucking kiss you already? This is torture." _This is what she calls torture?_

"What happened to 'it's not perverted' Syl?" Sera's cheshire grin was plastered on her face as the woman's eyebrows knitted together and the citron eyes pleaded her, "We both know it won't stop at a kiss." Both their eyes widened with realization, "On second thought," and mischievous smirks spread along their faces, "Never frigged on a roof before."

"See? And it's romantic with all these stars and stuff and," Sylvira groaned frustratedly when she dove in to capture the archer's mouth but Sera quickly tilted her head down, she chuckled when she felt the soft lips crash on her forehead. "Come on!"

"Never said we could kiss," Sera laughed when she heard the mage's head thud and the warm body slackened as she huffed, _it's way too fun teasing her like this._

"This game you're playing with me sucks, Lux. Hey that rhymed! I'll call you that from now on, Lux Sucks."

"Then you'll remind yourself-"

"That you aren't sucking," Lavellan groaned again, "Fenedhas." The sheets were pulled back up to cover the archer's head and thus continued the muffled conversation as if nothing ever happened, "Are you still cold?"

"Nah, you're nice and toasty. Let's sleep already Syl, I'm tired." She felt the woman rise slightly and her eyebrow rose in confusion, _damn it's too dark to see anything under here._ The hand that squeezed her shoulder slid down a little and she felt pressure at the top edge of her forehead, _what… The heck?_ The pressure was gone and Sylvira laid back down then gave a gentle squeeze at the shoulder, her other hand snuck under and accidentally brushed with Sera's wedged in between her stomach and the mage's side. _Whatever._ Her eyes slipped shut and the drowsiness she had thus far fought off heavily draped over her mind in an instant, her lips curled into a small smile as her head rose the slightest bit with each breath Lavellan took. The rhythm of the heart beats lulled her to sleep and she just barely heard the mage's quiet whisper before she slipped away.

"On nydha, ma dahn."


	4. If Only You'd Trust Me

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** A little bit of an emotional roller coaster with this chapter and drama ensues, Sylvira has her asshole moments but give her a chance :). Also, if you find yourself wondering why Syl freaks out on the roof with Sera yet read another part in the chapter later on and think 'why didn't she freak out here?' Keep in mind Sera doesn't understand elvhen. Syl is someone who finds feelings bothersome so a lot of her actions are 'skin-deep' and tries to distance herself from people emotional-wise. A lot of things we would go 'aww' (like marry me Aureum :P) isn't actually her being 100% serious and if it is then it freaks her out. Think of her as lust-addled pirate Isabela (combined with an angst past) and that may help make sense of her actions a little more.

 **P.S.** Taoran is the 'shady' son from the Blackstone Irregulars, if you kill Raelnor then Tao is leader of the mercs in DA: Origins. Also I apologize for Ena/Fen readers, Rem's current chapter is halfway done but all my enthusiasm and ideas are sprouting up for Syl at the moment lol. Ena and Fen should get some love next week if I don't finish Rem's ch.30 tonight!

 **Magic:** I got a pm asking about Syl's magic so I figured I'd explain it here. She is essentially like a "Force mage" (like from DA2) and her primary element is air/wind. Out of the four elements, air is the quickest and most precise but also the weakest. Thus, Syl doesn't have the raw destructive power like Ena, nor the endurance like Fen, or the enormous strength Terra (the last element: Earth) has and needs to compensate this. When she uses spells revolving gravity her magical energy is sucked dry because of how much is needed to cast or sustain it, but she regenerates quickly so long as anti-magic/dispelling isn't involved. Thus she relies on the use of scrolls, tomes, artifacts, runes and drawing glyphs/patterns because they take less energy, and these items do not have to be her 'element' to be used e.g. a scroll passage that allows her to conjure a fireball. However it would also take precious time to be flipping through the crumpled scrolls and she's rather forgetful, if she remembers a passage it's because she's used it often. With Syl, I've tried to portray her as someone who can multitask but that doesn't mean she's the best at it as one may be if they focused on just one task, a 'jack of all trades' if you will. Due to her lazy nature if she sees there's something she can exploit or that'll give her some sort of edge, she'll go for it (that is if she can shut up lest her mouth be the end of her). She typically uses her magic for mundane tasks due to this laziness as well, or tricks/manipulates to get what she wants e.g. like Loranil with the door. The reasons for her increased weakness to templar magic will be revealed in later chapters :)

 **Vocabulary**

 _[Elvhen] Lath:_ Love

 _[Alamarri]_ _Ik jom sairig:_ I am full of sorrow (I'm sorry)

 _[Elvhen]_ _Ir abelas:_ I'm sorry

 _[Latin] M_ _ea culpa,_ _me paenitet:_ My fault, I'm sorry

 _ _[French]__ _ _Je suis__ _ _désolée:__ I'm sorry

 _ _[Latin]__ _ _Peto ut remissionem:__ I ask for forgiveness

 _ _[Elvhen] Serannas:__ Thank you (informal)

* * *

 **If Only You'** **d Trust Me**

* * *

 _ **Failure.**_

 _Shut. Up._

 _ **Why did the spell fail? That pattern should have been easy for you to draw.**_

 _Fuck this is troublesome,_ Sylvira whirled around in the barren field, the vast landscape expanded for miles and miles without nothing but her and the annoying voices as her company. _I need to check my tomes if I have anything I can use in here to wake me up, this is getting on my nerves._ The whispers merely repeated over and over again, the mage shoved her hands in her pockets and disregarded the blurry vision as well as the tingling in her left arm. _Someone can wake me up any time now, you bastards do it all the damn time when I'm napping._ She walked forward through the empty field which gradually warped and turned into a tavern room, she ignored it and brushed past before it developed into something more. _This is the issue with dreaming with focus, Solas. Not everybody happily frolicks here like you do,_ she looked up at the void sky and let out a small sigh, the breath was easy to see and her temple twitched when she could hear the crunch of snow beneath her boots.

 _ **It's because of you they died!**_

"Well this is just fucking perfect." She glanced down and wasn't entire sure if she was pleased to see her scarf wrapped around her neck this time, she gave it a slight tug with her finger to loosen it up a little before shoving her hand back in her pocket. "Why can't I dream about what I want?" At that she paused and grinned mischievously, she closed her eyes and summoned images of Sera in her mind, _naked! Ooh~ and tied up with the scarf too. Or the cuffs! Yeah the cuffs do that!_ When she opened her eyes she was thoroughly disappointed that the best she could do was conjure the archer standing there, the blurry vision made it difficult to see the details so she walked closer. "Hey Lux." Nothing, "You know it's not very fun if you don't-" her eyebrows furrowed and she stiffened when she was able to make out Sera's features, the rogue had a look mixed in between disgust and mockery.

 _ **It's engraved in your very body.**_

 _Will you shut the fuck up already?_ "Ugh," Lavellan rubbed her temples as pain radiated within her mind, "Thanks! A headache is exactly what I've been wanting all along. The perfect satinalia gift," she muttered sarcastically and brushed past the static archer, displeased that she wasn't able to play how she wanted. _It's my dream, I should choose what I dream about._ At that her mind wandered as she continued to advance and ignored the distortions around her, _so what does choose what I dream about? Something else to check in my tomes later,_ "Too much work, time better spent playing." She looked up at the sky with holes in it, _is it because of those?_ She sighed again and grumbled, _alright well let's give this a try,_ "Ah..." Glancing around for some inspiration she shrugged and continued, "Uh… The ruler of dreams, I offer up this contract. Wake me up in exchange for me  not kicking your ass." Nothing happened, "Well worth a try at-"

Eyes snapping open, her eyebrows knitted in confusion when red blocked her vision, _blood?_ She sat up only to be abruptly stopped by this soft red thing and felt a little bit of a bouncy recoil, suddenly whatever she bumped into shifted back to reveal a certain elf and Sylvira grinned cheekily as she propped herself up on her elbows,"I was testing how comfy your pillows are and congratulations! They passed the test. Can I sleep on them?" _Hey wait does that mean that shit I made up actually worked? Hah no way, sweet!_

"Friggin' perv," Sera's expression had been dead-pan and made the mage gulp nervously, "That hurt you know, what the hell's yer ugly face made outta?" She sighed when Lavellan waggled her eyebrows and smirked provocatively, "No you ca-"

"I can kiss it better," _wait a sec,_ Sylvira noticed how the archer straddled her waist and her stomach churned, _doubt it's for the right reason though._ She looked back up, "Were you watching me sleep or something?"

"What? No I ain't weird like you, I was wondering how you do yer 'tails with your hair." _Eh~… Should I tell her that's weird too? Probably not._ "Thought it was complicated but it don't look it, you just split it at the beginning or whatever then loop the ends through the hole right? That's how it sits up?"

"Yep, until it falls to the side anyways. Drives the Ambassador crazy when she's all 'it's lopsided! It should be in the center because nobles-' and then I tug it to the side a little more just to see the look on her face, she's not as nice as she pretends. Thinking of growing out your own hair or something?"

"No way, it'd piss me off by whappin' me in the face all the time like it does for you," _oh right I forgot that's why she cut it in the first place._ Sera leaned back a little, "Was curious is all."

"Curious how to grab it when I-"

"And there's yer perverted look again," the archer chuckled, "Ain't even been five minutes since you woke up."

"Five minutes is all I need for-"

"You just don't stop," Sera rose on her knees and stretched her arms above her head then side to side, _she's teasing me on fucking purpose again. Shit,_ Lavellan's eyes immediately darted down when the red shirt rode up and exposed just a little bit of the toned stomach underneath, _Creators, so incredibly close yet so far away._ She knew for a fact that if she had reached out the archer would simply do the same thing last night, but what was the harm of taking advantage of the opportunity Sera so obviously gave her? "Yer  actually thinking about it instead of doing it?" She looked up at the grinning rogue, "That's a first. Usually by now I'd be swatting yer hands away and smacking you 'cross the head." _She's right…_ _What's wrong with me? Hey wait then that means…!_ "And no it don't mean you can."

"Fuck. Are you reading my mind?"

"It's written all over yer ugly face loser," Sera laughed, "This happens every time. Anyways come on I'm hungry, let's go downstairs and grab some lunch." _Lunch?_ Sylvira looked up at the blue sky as clouds drifted by, _oh the sun's already up._ She nodded and the two carefully rose so as not to slip off the roof, _and die,_ she glanced over at the rogue and snickered quietly. "What's so funny? Somethin' on my face?"

"Rather, something not on your face," Lavellan smirked provocatively, "We could-"

"No."

"Have lunch-

"No."

"Right here."

"Said no, ye daft tit. Yer dirty mind makes the gutter jealous, now c'mon I'm hungry~!"

"I'm hungry for the special on the golden platter," she chuckled when Sera threw up her hands and huffed, "Also, I don't have a dirty mind."

"Uh huh. I believe you."

"I have a sexy imagination! Big beautiful difference my love." The two froze and their eyes widened, _shit, fucking shit! Why the fuck did I say that?!_ Sylvira recovered fast and rubbed the back of her neck as she laughed nervously, "Come on let's go before their special's sold out, my treat." In her haste to gather up the sheets and climb down, her foot slid on one of the patches of moss covering the roof and down she went, _this is how I die?! Fuck that!_ As she rolled off and began her descent she quickly stretched the sheet above her head then twisted the four corners around her wrist, her free hand swiftly drawing a precise rune. Within seconds the rune shot intermittent gusts of warm air inside the sheet as she continued to re-draw the pattern over and over again until she had safely flown down. When her feet touched ground she let out a sigh of relief, _I wish I could levitate myself. Not fair everybody else gets the fun,_ she unwrapped the sheet around her wrist and bunched it up then squeezed it in between her rib and arm pit as she shoved her hands in her pockets. _Too close._

Turning around with a bright grin, she chuckled when she saw Sera practically fly through the tavern door and rush over to her, "Hey! Fancy entrance right? Only I can-" her head snapped left and her cheek stung, _uh…?_ She looked back at the furious archer, _didn't think she'd be into S &M,_ "Is that your sadist way of rewarding me that I lived?" _Then again maybe that's why she always threatens to shove arrows in my ass. Interesting..._

"Quit it with the jokes you dumbass!" Sera's eyes narrowed angrily, "You almost-fuck!" She raked her hand through her hair and cussed as she whirled around, stomping back to the tavern and kicking whatever poor objects happened to be in her way. _Uh… I'm lost._ Sylvira shrugged and walked back, whistling a bouncy tune as if nothing ever happened. _Ohh now I know why she's pissed!_

"It's because I'm still alive!"

* * *

"You're so beautiful you made me forget my pickup line." Sera groaned and fought not to slam her head into the table while Dorian snickered beside her, as soon as the dalish woman dropped off the bed sheets in the room she had gotten straight to business.

Flirting with other people.

 _She's never gonna change no matter what happens,_ the archer glowered at her plate as she shoved the bread stick in her mouth, determined to ignore the torrent of feelings raging inside her. When the wench giggled, Sera's hand gripped the mug so tightly that a tiny crack rang out and the tevinter man gently nudged her, "Careful, you're about to set her on fire with your eyes."

"Shut the fuck up. Don't you have some bull riding to do?"

"He's asleep," Dorian shrugged, "So I decided to see if the Inquisitor yet lives." Another giggle from the wench, another crack from the mug.

"Not for long," Sera spat bitterly, "Almost did a good job killing herself earlier too. Fell off the roof."

"Did the dashing rogue come to her rescue?" The tevinter's haughty tone encouraged the urges to punch people in the face and Sera glared at him, he rose his hands in mock surrender, "I was just asking."

"There isn't a word in the dictionary that describes just how beautiful you are," Sylvira grinned smugly when the wench leaned forward and gave her a peck on the cheek, "You missed," she pointed to her lips, "They're over here." When the woman got close, Sera abruptly rose from her seat and stormed up the stairs, _fuck her! She can go fuck that whore for all I fucking care!_ She kicked open the door to her room and slammed it shut as hard as she could, ripping off the half-jacket and scarf then tossing it on the ground. Without a single care she walked on them then went straight for the mage's pack, dumping out the contents and searching for the picture Lavellan drew last night.

 _I'll fucking rip it in half and piss on it, coz that's exactly what she's fucking doing to me._ She had half a mind to rip all the scrolls in half and her jaw clenched tightly, the scrolls themselves contained spells and countless of them were used to help her whether it was in battle or to pull off a prank. "Fuck sake," Sera's teeth grind loudly against each other and she finally found the parchment she had been looking for, her fingers at the top center and ready to rip until she had noticed the owl wasn't the only thing on it. She unwrinkled it as best she could and smoothed out the crinkles, bringing the paper to her face and squinting as she attempted to read the incredibly messy penmanship.

 _Every night when I look up at the stars, I match each one with a reason why I like you-or try to anyways, shit there's too many fucking_ _stars._ A random doodle and another line was scribbled below. _Here, tonight, the most heavenly body-quite literally now-sleeps beside me._

Hands quivering, the rage boiled and nearly reached it's zenith as Sera tried to force herself to rip the parchment instead of reading the rest, _if that's how you fucking feel then why chase other chicks? It's all full of shit, she's always full of shit. Her ass and mouth switched places,_ mind made up, the archer jerked her wrists and reveled in the sounds as the paper tore apart. "Fuck that felt good!"

"I'll bet." The archer nearly fell on her rear end when she had spun on her knees, guilt momentarily welled up within her until it had been swallowed by the anger as Sylvira casually leaned on the door, her arms crossed and an unreadable expression on her face. She sighed and smoothed back the locks framing her face until they fell back into place, "How troublesome." That did it, Sera rose and strode towards the mage until she had been stopped by a transparent wall, her razor sharp slits narrowed warningly. "You look ready to finish the roof's job. Are you seriously that pissed that I'm still alive?"

"That's not what I was mad 'bout but now that you mention it, I am now," Sera spat venomously and smirked victoriously when the citron eyes flashed with hurt, _good, get a taste for it too Syl._

"Was it the wench?" Lavellan sighed when the rogue gritted her teeth, "This is why emotions are annoying. If only you'd trust me you-"

"Go fuck yourself! I can't believe yer even saying that! Fuck this I'm going back to Skyhold by myself," she glared when the transparent wall still stayed up despite the signs of fatigue setting in, "Let. Me. Through."

"No." Sylvira glanced at the jacket and scarf on the ground, her eyebrows furrowing for a brief moment before she picked them up and dressed, "Don't be irrational." Sera's mind had been draped by the thick haze of anger and she glowered, her eyes glinted dangerously, _she's got another thing coming if this idiot is calling me stupid_. "Anger," the mage rotated her shoulders and gave a small shrug to fix the jacket, "Is clouding your judgment. When you have collected and composed yourself, travel with Bull and Dorian. I'll go alone," she rose her hands in a nonthreatening manner as she dispelled the wall and walked towards the satchel, _she's right there, teach her not to mess with me_. Lavellan stuffed the wrinkled scrolls back inside and made way to the bed to collect the tome and pipe, "Travel safe, Lux." She shoved the pipe at the corner of her mouth and her hands in her pockets, she left without another word before Sera could make up her mind whether to choke the woman or not. However now she felt infuriated for entirely different reasons, every time she would get upset about these things Sylvira would remain calm and it often made her feel like an inferior little child throwing a tantrum. _Friggin' snooty bitch looking down on me and treatin' me like dirt, treatin' the other wenches like dirt too._

"Everything about you pisses me the fuck off," Sera muttered bitterly and she continued to rip the torn parchment into smaller pieces. She watched them flutter to the ground and promptly stomped on them, _not like it fuckin' matters, she didn't even care. She doesn't fucking care 'bout anyone except herself. Everything comin' out of her mouth is nothing but shit._ Knocks brought her attention to the door and she grunted in response, not needing to look back when the scent of mead and blood flooded her senses.

"Hey," Bull slurred slightly, the remnants of sleep still evident in his voice as he carefully stepped inside. "Boss woke me up, told me to keep an eye on you while she went ahead. You two fight again?" Again. That bloody word pissed her off more than it ought to have, _always fighting, and for what? If she quit being a fuckin' douche who thinks nobody can resist her then we could just be friends, things it'd better that way._ She ignored the nagging feelings telling otherwise, and she merely nodded in response to the qunari. "'Bout the usual?"

"You going somewhere with this or what? Coz yer pissing me off. Just go eat with your fuck buddy," she sneered bitterly, "I wanna go back to Skyhold already." _Gonna fuck up her room again, she can take that. Fuckin' self-serving prick._

"Alright," Bull shrugged, "See you in ten."

* * *

Usually Sylvira would take a horse for herself, but Sera knew any time they had these little spats the steed had been left for her on purpose. She figured out eventually that it was the mage's way of apologizing, but it was completely ruined when Lavellan would follow it up with a, "I walked the rest of the way and you know how much I hate work. That should show how sorry I am," or, "I'm saying sorry because I value our relationship more than my pride." _If someone has to point it out and even gets annoyed 'bout it all then they ain't fucking sorry. Fact._ Just thinking about it all irked her, fortunately for her Dorian and Bull remained relatively quiet unless they talked amongst themselves. When they did the archer tuned them out as best she could, for her irritation spiked and her heart faltered when she'd realize she didn't have her own companion to exchange stupid jokes with or play silly games just to pass the time.

 _When we get back, I'm telling her to forget about it. No kisses, not even friggin' hugs, she can fuck whoever she wants and play whenever she wants._ She gritted her teeth, _she been doing that anyways, not like it'll make a big fucking difference._ She had half a mind to even leave the Inquisition at least just for a little bit, _two days'll be enough for her to forget all about me, then she won't even remember my name like that other chick._ The more she thought about taking a break and leaving for a little bit, the more her heart ached and frustration welled up immediately, her temper flared, _why the fuck do_ _I_ _havta do all this shite?! I'll just tell her to leave me the fuck alone and stay away, and if she doesn't then I'll shove arrows up her friggin' arse!_ "Hey imp."

"Shut it, Moustache."

"Well, just thought you'd like to know-"

"I don't. Now shut up."

"That she didn't actually kiss." _What?_ Sera looked over at the smirking tevinter, "Got your attention rather fast."

"Shut up and say what you mean. Whaddya mean she didn't kiss?"

Dorian chuckled, "It was rather entertaining really, but I believe the Inquisitor will tell the tale far better than I. I simply cannot do it justice," his cocky smirk grew and the rogue huffed, knowing he wouldn't spill even if she went as far as bribing if threats didn't work. _Whatever, it's probably because she flirted with somebody else or got distracted by somethin' again._ _Always happens._ She escaped back into her thoughts and her lips curled into a subtle smile when they passed a large willow tree, reminded of a stupid memory.

* * *

Sitting against a tree and taking a break from constantly walking while the other companions went on, Sera rested against the dalish woman behind her, "I spy~ with my little eye~ something that is..." Sylvira hummed and rested her chin on the archer's shoulder as she gazed at her, _never seen her eyes up this close before, they've got yellow in the green how does that even work?_ "Brown and green."

"What?!" Sera chuckled, "That's friggin' everywhere ye daft tit!"

"Well yeah but that's the point of the game, for you to figure out what I'm looking at."

"Tree?"

"No."

"Grass… On dirt?"

"No."

"Bum hole?"

"'Kay where the fuck do you even see that? I wanna see it too. Wait no I don't… Especially if there's green or brown ewww," the two laughed briefly and Lavellan's smug smirk grew into a confident grin, "My round?"

"Hell no, don't decide you've won by yourself," Sera's eyes narrowed as they scanned the landscape, "Cabin with moss?" The mage shook her head, "That mountain, hill, valley or whatever?" Another shake, _shit just what the fuck was she looking at…?_ She glanced at their clothes then at her plaid leggings, _yellow and brown…_ She ignored Sylvira's whistles when she tugged on her tunic and peeked down at her bra, _crap what the hell?_ Her frustration rapidly rose when the dalish woman began whistling a bouncy tune, "Shut up loser I'm tryin' to concentrate!"

"You either see it or you don't~ and in this case you don't," Sera frowned, _she plays with words all the time like that horned hat bitch._ The mage continued to sing random words that made absolutely no sense then started making wind sounds, blowing at the back of Sera's ear, _she's pissing me off on purpose!_ "Hurry up and admit you lose!" _Something I don't see?_ She leaned forward and cast an angry glare over her shoulder at the grinning woman, she was about to huff and cave in until she peered back at the shining citron eyes. They gave a flicker of a reflection and her lips spread in triumph, "Well Syl," she hooked her finger under the mage's scarf, "I'll admit… **You** lose."

"Alright! Wait what?" The lost look had been nearly adorable, and if the woman hadn't driven Sera up the wall-and not the way she particularly preferred mind you-she'd have jumped her right then and there. Thus far it had been a month in Haven ever since she was recruited and she learned quite fast that the sweet talker tended to sweet talk… **Everything**. She even caught her practicing pickup lines with a nug, who the heck is weird enough to flirt with animals? It led her to wonder just what sort of weird tastes the mage had.

"My eyes, ye daft tit. Sneaky, almost had me." She laughed when Sylvira threw up her hands in defeat and reluctantly allowed the scarf to be taken off, _she'd rather strip naked than gimme this. Wonder what the deal is?_ The first time she suggested to take the scarf so the mage would save face instead of going butt naked in the tavern, she had been extremely confused when Lavellan actually uttered that she'd rather die. Whenever she asked about the story, the woman either told something that had obviously been exaggerated bullshit or deflected it much like how Varric had with his crossbow, _friggin' tits doing it on purpose, bet there's no story._ _Or they forgot._ "My turn!" She relaxed back on the mage and relished the warmth offered from both her and the scarf, "I spy with my little eye… Something that is," she glanced down and tensed slightly when Sylvira slowly wrapped her hands around her waist, the flicker in the left palm caught her attention and she grinned, "Green."

"Really," the mage droned in boredom, "We're really doing this?"

"Yep," _she'll never get it! I'm gonna get her jacket next and keep it, too bloody cold out here._

"My hand," Sera's head whipped around in disbelief and Lavellan grinned, "You know... I was going to say that it's cold and ask if I could warm it under your shirt, preferably under your bra," the grin grew wider, "But something tells me I get my scarf back."

"Oh bloody hell," _I fell for it._ Before she yanked the scarf off she shuddered when Sylvira leaned forward and breathed behind her ear, the warm puffs traveled through and-for some reason that Sera of course had no idea why-down lower where heat pooled between her thighs. _You do this with every fuckin' chick,_ her body betrayed her as it relaxed and she chewed on the corner of her lip, "Syl," she cursed her husky voice, "I already told you no before."

"You're always saying no," a soft kiss just below the earlobe, "Your body is saying yes." _Who the fuck wouldn't?_

"Do this with everyone," she bit back a moan when the warm lips pressed to the pulse of her neck, "You know I don't share."

"That just means I know what I'm doing," Sylvira never bothered answering to the second and most important part of the statement though, and she grinned against Sera's skin, "One day you'll be screaming my name, _L_ _ath._ "

* * *

"Hey, isn't that the Boss?" Sera's head snapped up, startled out of her reverie and followed the gaze down the steep hill, "What's she doing?" The dalish woman was in the middle of a large fortified camp of some sort, stakes surrounded the perimeter and the men who looked too well-armed to be bandits had their weapons pointed at Sylvira. The mage herself seemed to be conversing with the leader and by the looks on their faces, _they… Know each other?_ "Hey Sera, can you hear anything?"

"No," the archer's eyebrows furrowed, "Who looks at all that and thinks its a great idea to go knocking? Loser probably got captured **again** ," _she don't have the cards though, she'd end up dying coz of them._ "Let's tie up the horses here and sneak over." Slowly but surely they inched through the thick grass and remained in cover, periodically checking on the patrol guards and waiting until they faced the opposite direction to advance. As they got closer, Sera could pick up the echoed words and the faded voices were easy to decipher, _an idiot and a dead idiot, not hard at all._

"It's just something you'd have to give up Taoran, the Irregulars will serve under me one way or another," the Idiot stated confidently, "I'm offering you a pretty sweet deal, anyone with a brain would take it without thinking about it."

"You think I'm stupid bitch?" Sera snickered when she heard the quiet sigh and 'yes' accompanied with it, "Yer nothin' but a collectives whore and always will be. Do what you do best and spread your legs baby, maybe you'll get out of here alive." _Oh Dead Idiot is going to be Really Dead Idiot soon._

"Oh for shit's sake are you **still** sore that I stole a couple of jobs? The last job I took from you was like five years ago! Besides I did you a big favor getting rid of your pops, so you owe me. I'm not going to repeat myself, take the deal."

"You must seriously have something wrong with your head," the Dead Idiot howled with laughter and his other men joined in, _yep can't disagree there, she definitely does._ "You're in **my** camp surrounded by **my** men and yer all by your lonesome self. Herald or Inquisitor or whatever it doesn't matter, **nobody** fucks with me!"

"Nobody fucks with me either," Idiot retorted heatedly, "I'm unfuckable, I've never been fucked!" There was a slight pregnant pause before the men bellowed out again in mockery, Sera groaned quietly and face palmed while the other two companions tried to stifle their laughter, _smooth one Syl. Always fulla shit even with the baddies._ "Anyways," _she's still all business after that?_ "You remember my nickname don't you, Taoran?" _Nickname?_

"Yeah, it's the most stupid thing I've ever heard," the Dead Idiot replied while still chuckling in between, _if it's Syl then I don't doubt it._

"Well, can't disagree there but I didn't give it to myself. The thing is, others did and for good reason," the companions had gotten close enough to jump into the fray and could see the mage shove her hands in her pockets, a smug grin plastered on her face. "One last chance before you see it in action Tao. Take the deal, you can continue your smuggling operations and I'll turn a blind eye so long as you pass some coin my way and do a couple jobs every now and then. If you don't then either the Inquisition hunts you down and takes you prisoner, or I crush you myself. Which-even if you were prisoner-would happen anyways since I'm the judge. Everybody would have nice fuzzy feelings seeing me stomp down a couple of slaver crooks and I get to look like a hero." _What the fuck,_ _she wants to cut a deal_ _with slavers?_ Sera exchanged glances with the other two men, they were clearly worried with the decision as well. _If we weren't here then nobody'd know,_ her eyebrows furrowed with anger and she reached for an arrow in her quiver with the intention of killing the leader to ensure there wouldn't be any deals. She nearly hissed when Bull grabbed her wrist and stopped her, he shook his head, _what the fuck?!_

"Nobody'll know if you're dead," the Dead Idiot grinned arrogantly and rose his hand to signal the men, despite it all Lavellan still calmly stood in the center. _What the fuck is she doing?!_ Her eyes darted left and right as she scanned all the marksmen pointing their arrows at the dalish woman and awaited the signal to shoot, "So instead, how about I make you a deal honey? Get on yer knees and wag your ass for me like a dog if you don't want to be fucked, at least not by arrows."

"Is that all? I've done worse things," Sylvira chuckled, "Alright then." _What?!_ The mage rose her hands in the air and slowly turned around, she slowly lowered on her knees and both of her hands moved in tiny precise gestures. _She's doing her fancy magic shite and the dumb bastards' eyes are glued on her arse, they just dug their fuckin' graves._

"Hey whore, did they name you Quick Hands 'cause of the hand-jobs you had to give for coin?" Taoran and his men roared with laughter, Lavellan's lips quirked in a smug smile as she lowered her hands on the ground, _here comes the fireworks._ Judging by the gestures and how often she'd seen the mage do it, Sera guessed that at least four of the ten men had runes being primed beneath them. She nodded to the other two companions who seemingly came to the same conclusion and they all got ready to jump in and deal with the rest, _Dead Idiot's got it coming to him. Pick out a nice arrow to shove up his arse._

"You should thank me," Sylvira's face contorted slightly and the signs of strain were visible, blood trickled out one nostril and her skin gradually shone brighter with sweat, _she's talking too long, blow them up already!_ "For giving the last show you'll ever see." The dalish woman rose abruptly and spun as she crossed her arms in front of her then extended them to the sides, quickly drawing another pattern as she simultaneously detonated the glyphs. Five men sailed meters high into the air before helplessly falling on their heads and to their deaths, Lavellan clenched her fists tight and slammed two other men into the ground, grinding their bones to dust from the tremendous weight of gravity. Three mercenaries remained and Taoran made a run for it, the mage fell on her knees and desperately heaved for sorely needed oxygen. Blood steadily trickled out both nostrils and the grass immediately took on a crimson hue the moment the drops stained them, _shit she's not looking good!_

"Syl!" Sera rushed out of her cover and anchored her arrow, dealing with the first marksman to pull their bowstring and aim at the exhausted woman. She hopped up stacked crates and jumped over the stakes, trusting Bull and Dorian with the other two guards as she sprinted to catch Sylvira before she slumped to the ground. She abandoned her bow and wrapped her arm around the mage's chest just in time, "Syl," her eyes darted up and down as she frantically assessed the woman's condition, "Fucking idiot, what happened to being lazy and hating work?!" _She's never pushed herself like this,_ she glared when Bull and Dorian ran over after dispatching the mercenaries, "Where the fuck's that asshole in charge?" She looked at the tevinter mage, "Hurry up and heal her!"

"I can't," Dorian calmly explained yet too wore a concerned expression, "With her body it's-"

"Fuck!" Sera laid Lavellan down and seethed vehemently, "I'll stay with her. Go find that friggin' arse!" The two men set off immediately and she pushed apart the dangling ends of the scarf to ensure it wouldn't be stained by the blood, she unsheathed her hip dagger and cut down the top of the woman's shirt to expose her chest a little more. "Bloody hell, sweating enough to fill a bucket," the mage groaned lowly and Sera's eyes shot up to the dull and clouded citron peering at her, _can she even see anything?_ "What were you thinking?! And you told **me** not to be stupid," she straddled Sylvira's waist and framed her face, "Syl look at me," she chewed her lip in nervousness, _I don't fucking know what to do!_ "Tell me yer alright, you ain't gonna die right? Not from something lame and stupid like this," _this never happened before, what the fuck is going on? What's gonna happen to her?_ Her stomach churned with nausea and anxiety formed a thick lump in her throat, the prospect of this woman slipping away before her eyes was nearly unbearable, "If you didn't fucking flirt with that friggin' wench, this'd never have happened!" The mage's heavy breathing and constant groans, the glowing skin sheen with nothing but sweat was freaking Sera out, "What the fuck am I s'posto do? Shit!" She glanced over her shoulder, "I'd have been better off hunting that arsehole down."

"Lux…?" The archer immediately hovered over her face and nodded eagerly, eyes gazing and searching the clouded citron for answers, _hints, anything!_ "D-do you have," Sylvira coughed slightly and the corner of her mouth curled upwards in a half smirk, "Bandages?"

"Shit," Sera looked up the steep hill beyond the stakes, "I left them in my pack with the horses and-"

"I scraped my knees," another cough, "Falling for you." _Is she…_ The rogue stared dumbfounded as Lavellan chuckled weakly, _she's seriously doing this now?_ "There's something wrong with my eyes Lux..."

"Yeah you burnt yourself out again ye daft tit, what the fuck did you do that for?"

"No not that, I can't take them off you."

"This ain't the time for jokes loser," the archer exasperated when the woman grinned cheekily, "You really..." She sighed frustratedly, "It's just like this damn morning," she bent down and rested her forehead against Sylvira's, "Yer gonna scare me to death one of these days."

"Using up everything in one go sucks," Lavellan wheezed then hissed when she tried to move, "I need," she gritted her teeth and averted her gaze, "I need... You to promise me something." _This again?_ Sera reluctantly nodded and the mage whispered through clenched teeth, "Promise you won't... Tease me for this. I need you to help me up." _Why's she-oh her stupid pride right._

"Nothin' wrong with it, s'fine to ask me innit?" The rogue clambered off her waist and helped her sit up, hooking an arm around her neck, "You do the work luv, think of me as a tree to lean on yeah?" Slowly but surely the two rose and Sera tugged the dangling ends of the scarf out of the way when the blood dribbled off the chin.

"We need to find Tao," the dalish woman gulped and breathed heavily, Sera watched the side of her face contort as it fought for composure, _she's_ _got to be_ _hurting._

"Bull and Moustache will get 'im luv, let's go back to the horses you needa rest."

"No," Sylvira wiped the sweat off her brow, "He knows where the slaves are. He can't die," _she still...!_

"You ain't cutting a deal with that fucking prick, I'm killing him whether you like it or not," Sera spat bitterly, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Just what's going on in that stupid head of yours?"

"You heard... Everything?"

"Yeah, lucky too or you'd have turned a blind fuckin' eye huh? Screw that. Now come on," the archer half dragged Lavellan as they stumbled along, "Bull! Where are ya?!"

"Listen to me carefully Sera, he can't-"

"Shut up! This ain't fucking right Syl!"

"At least the location!"

"So what, **you** can use them?! Fuck that! You're lucky we're friends or you'd have an arrow up yer arse so shut the fuck up, loser." They wove through the large camp and minute by minute the mage recovered her strength back, yet the nervousness was surprisingly evident in the citron eyes. _She's never been like this before, this is too fucking different. Just who the hell is she?_ Sera gritted her teeth and her eyebrows furrowed, _if I fell for her tricks, this is who I'd be dating. Worst prick of them all, she'll even use slaves for herself._ Their eyes widened when Taoran came tumbling, he had been sprinting for his life with Bull hot on his heels, _where's Moustache?_

"Bull!" Sylvira quickly shoved the rogue away and unwrapped her scarf, she tossed it to Sera and forced herself to run, "Don't kill him!"

"Fuck sake don't listen to her Bull! She just wants to fucking use-"

"This is a direct order from the Inquisitor," _fuck_ _her_ _!_ "Defiance is treason and is punishable by death, stand down!" _Fuck that, I don't care!_ Sera anchored an arrow and aimed for the man, she was about to release until her bow had suddenly been ripped straight out of her hands and down on the ground. Her head snapped up just in time to catch the mage's hand stretched out to her and the way she stumbled before recovering, _what the hell, why is she going so far?!_ Bull hadn't known what to do and slowed down, Lavellan rounded the corner and continued her chase after Taoran as the man desperately knocked over objects in an attempt to stop her, _what happened to hating work?!_ Refusing to put on the scarf she bunched it up in her hand, she snatched her bow and rushed after the two fleeing figures, _what kind of bullshit excuse will she give me this time? Ain't no way, ain't falling for it. Too many little people already hurt because of her, she can't say nothin' to me no more._ "Tao! Making the Inquisitor do unnecessary work is also punishable by death you shithead! If you value your-"

"Shut the fuck up bitch! Do you think I'm stupid?!"

"Yes, yes I fucking do! And everyone who always fucking asks me that winds up dead!" Sylvira braced her hand along the half wall and leaped over with Sera close behind, _if only they had that templar shite so she'd stay down,_ the archer's jaw clenched when she noted that the blood had stopped trailing down Lavellan's nostril when she whipped her head back to check on Sera. _Ain't stupid to shoot when you'll just rip it out my hands again,_ her free hand holding the scarf swiped behind to ensure her hip dagger was still there, _good. Get in close and cut 'im up._ As soon as Dorian came out from one of the smaller cabins he began to cast until Sylvira swept her arm and knocked him back with a gust of wind, "Don't kill him!"

 _U_ _sing yer magic on your own friends?_ "How low can you fucking go Syl?!" The dalish woman ignored her and instead levitated one of the crates then abandoned it behind her, "That won't work on me ye daft tit!" Sera hopped up and deftly slid across it without losing any speed, she had been gaining on Taoran and grinned when she passed the clearly frustrated mage, "This is what happens when you don't work you lazy fat arse!" She caught the leader escaping into one of the cabins and smirked wolfishly, _perfect for me, Dead Idiot's_ _now Really Dead Idiot_ _._ As soon as she kicked open the door she unsheathed her hip dagger and was ready to throw, her wrist caught and jaw slackened. "N-no way..." _Kids_ _?_

"This is why I said don't kill him," Sylvira whispered in between heavy breaths and tightly clenched the archer's wrist, "Let go of the dagger. Now." _But he's...!_ Taoran grinned sadistically and tightened his arm around the child's neck, his own dagger pointed at the scared girl's eyes, _they're..._ Rage boiled within Sera as she scanned the huddled and frightened crowd of both boys and girls, nobody looked to be more than ten and worst of all, they didn't have any clothes and some were covered in bruises. _Sex slaves,_ she reluctantly let go of the dagger and Taoran laughed, _he's completely off the fucking rocker!_ "Now let that girl go, Tao."

"I'll have to admit Quick Hands, you played well. What makes you think I'll cooperate now though? You killed all my men, you'll kill me, what's to stop me digging my knife in this pretty thing's eyes?" Sera lunged and snarled but was pulled back by the mage, she angrily glared at the composed woman, _what the fuck is she doing?!_ "Keep your servant on a leash or the girl dies."

"Duly noted." Sylvira let go and blocked the rogue, "I'm listening. What sort of deal do you have in mind?" _Fuck deals!_ Sera's jaw clenched so tightly she could hear her teeth grind against each other, and in the distance she heard Bull and Dorian running in their direction. She glanced at the mage, _maybe she's talking to_ _buy time 'til we can kick this guy's ass?_

"I'll join your Inquisition in exchange for my life, and I want your assurance that I'll be left alone," _oh you'll be left alone alright._ _Right up 'til_ _I_ _dump bees on you_ _when yer sleeping you fuckin' prick._

"That's all? Well I'm not surprised," Lavellan shrugged, "You always have sucked at business. How about I sweeten the pot?" _What the fuck?! She's giving more?!_ "You'll join, keep your life, and you'll continue your smuggling operations." She smirked when the man laughed in disbelief, "I didn't kill your pops so you could be an angel with the Irregulars. This world needs more bastards like us willing to do what it takes." Sera didn't know who to kill first, the Idiot or the Dead Idiot, _this has to be a bad dream. Syl'd never go this far, would she?_ She'd seen this enough times and still couldn't believe just how ruthless the woman could be, if she was challenged she'd shrug and say 'this is how things work and if emotions cloud your judgment then you end up in the next shipment'. _Fuck that. Not this time. Soon as he_ _lets go of the kid and comes out_ _he's getting an arrow in the back._

"Deal, now leave me." The frightened children pleaded with their eyes yet tried to remain silent, the stifled cries nearly tore Sera apart and she glared when the mage calmly turned around, the citron eyes silently ordering her to do the same, _fuck that... Fuck this!_ She clenched her teeth and the hand holding her bow quivered, the man still held the dagger at the child's eyes, _fuck sake!_ She whirled around angrily and kicked the door back open, stomping out and brushing past the two companions without another word. She abandoned the scarf in the dirt and spat on it then threw down her bow and ripped off her quiver, _this is too far, too fucking_ _far_ _Syl. Fuck this shit!_

"I quit," she muttered venomously and turned to face the woman who still looked perfectly comfortable with the situation, "If he joins then I quit Syl. Choose."

"That's a no brainer, his connections are stronger and more organized than the Red Jennies, but you alone-" Sera cut her off and spat on her scarf again, she spun on her heel and begun her trek back to the horses. "You never let me finish. If you'd just trust me-"

"Trust?" Sera chuckled bitterly and stopped, her fists clenched but she refused to look back, "I trust that yer a fuckin' heartless prick Syl. You're the worst of them all and you ain't even noble." She suddenly felt dirty, reminded of the woman's touches and her skin shuddered, repulsed by the memories. Bull and Dorian merely watched sadly, neither knew what to say but they clearly didn't agree with Lavellan's decision either. The anger nearly choked her when the mage simply sighed and whispered, _she doesn't even fucking care._

"I see."

* * *

 _How troublesome,_ Sylvira turned to the two men, "Are you quitting as well?" They shook their heads, "Fan-fucking-tastic. Now go back and report to Skyhold. I'll remain here until you bring the reinforcements."

"Boss... Is this really alright? I mean-"

"I gave you an order. Go," she plucked the dirty scarf from the ground and frowned at the slimy saliva, "Seriously? She had to go and spit on it too?" She sighed and dusted it off as best as she could, reluctantly wrapping it around her neck and shoving her hands in her pockets. She waited until the two men left and noticed their expressions, "I'm not here for your approval, you know this is how I do business. If you don't like it, you're free to go like Sera." _She won't leave, she'll stay. Probably to argue some more, or prank me,_ Lavellan sighed and walked to the cabin where Taoran leaned against the door, clearly amused by the entire spectacle, _it's always like this. Never fucking stays then bitches about my methods when she doesn't even know what I've done._

"Always were a bitch through and through Quick Hands," Taoran replied cheekily and chuckled darkly, "Personal gain above everything else huh?" _What 'everything else' when it doesn't bother to stick around?_

"Quit calling me that retarded nickname. You know it just as well as I do Tao, trust nobody but yourself," she reached into her satchel and pulled out her pipe, "Got a match by any chance?" The man nodded and as she worked the elfroot into the bowl he struck the match against the box and held it out for her, she snapped it out of his hands and lit it herself then flicked her wrist to extinguish the fire. "I don't hear a 'thanks for saving my life Inquisitor, you're the best!' So?"

"Hah! Not on your life babe, just because we're working together doesn't mean you own me."

"On the contrary," Sylvira smirked smugly, "Your life does belong to me especially since you've broken your vow," her smirk grew when the man's temple twitched and she snapped her fingers to release a rune she drew, "Remember it? The one about never resorting to slavery if I helped you with your pops? So now you're my slave."

"Fuck that! Who the hell do you think you- _ugh!_ " Taoran fell on his knees and his arms wrapped around his midriff, "When...?" Blood leaked out from his mouth and his eyes widened when Lavellan shuffled back so as not to get the blood spat on her, "A-always knew... You were a traitorous bitch...!"

"Don't say I never warned you. I told you making me do unnecessary work is punishable by death, now you know why you're fucking stupid." Before the man could protest she outstretched her palm and jerked her arm downwards, slamming Taoran into the ground. She clenched her fist tightly and reveled in the sounds of the bones snapping, shoving her hands back in her pockets as she walked back inside the cabin with the frightened children. _Some of them don't look Fereldan,_ her eyes darted to one with tribal markings, _an_ _A_ _vaar,_ _how the fuck did_ _Tao_ _manage to capture from them?_ Another that had delicate features, _O_ _rlesian,_ she continued her sweep and sighed, _too young to tell if she's a dalish elf without vallaslin_ _,_ _shit's sake_ _. How will they even understand me if all I know are little words?_ She rose her hands in a nonthreatening manner and slowly descended on her knees, she adjusted the pipe to the corner of her mouth and bowed slightly, "I'm sorry." Memories she tried to smother and obliterate gnawed on the edges of her thoughts, she blurted out whatever she could recall in hopes the children understood her true intentions, "Ik jom sairig, Ir abelas, mea culpa me paenitet, je suis désolée, peto ut remissionem." She looked up and blew out a small cloud of smoke in the air then clasped her palms together as she bowed once more, "Please forgive me."

It seemed that some children understood her and very cautiously walked closer while she remained on her knees, _they've been beaten for fun, starved, raped,_ Lavellan's eyebrows knit together in frustration and she muttered venomously, "That man will never touch you ever again. Nobody will, or I will kill them myself." She blinked furiously and her citron eyes shone with tears, _useless, crying is for the weak,_ she chuckled hoarsely and wiped her eyes with her forearm when one of the children laid a hand on her shoulder, "Lame right? Not very cool of me at all, don't tell anybody about this." She looked at the child and gaped, _the elf? Probably feels comfortable with me because of my ears, she looks about eight or so._ She desperately tried to hold back the _useless_ feelings and retreated into her analyst mode, assessing every child and guessing their specific nationality as well as their age. All of it was futile in the end and the pipe fell to the ground with a large clang. The elven child moved to hug her and loosely wrapped their arms around her neck, their voice rasp and weak as they whispered in her ear. _They didn't die because of me this time._

"Serannas."


	5. Change of Heart

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Lol so now I've been pmed/asked about Syl's role in the "Elements" band and this was pretty much a no brainer. Singing. Center of attention in the spotlight, all the shit she could ever talk/sing and still get away with making it sound good. It'd most likely be a perverted song though, I can't see her taking it seriously otherwise (or perhaps boasting about herself before Sera unloaded a trebuchet of tomatoes in her face). Thus far we got Ena on the drums, Fen as the electric guitarist, Syl as the singer, and Terra is so far looking like the bass guitar player ;)

I got this as well and really like how the pm summed up my characters in a short but amusing way, so thanks for this gift mate!

 **Fire Ena:** The Powerhouse- If it can't be punched away, it will still be blown away

 **Water Fen:** The Negotiator- If it can't be reasoned with, it will be scared into submission… And politely asked to see reason :)

 **Air Syl:** The Tactician- If it can't be tricked, it will be tricked into being tricked until it is tricked while thinking it has not been tricked

 **Earth Terra:** The Defender or The Mystic Knight- I can't think of anything since I don't know what sort of character you're planning, but when I think 'Earth' and remember the possible use of weapons, Mystic Knight and Spellsword were the first that came to mind. Someone versatile with weaponry and supplements it with defensive/support spells. So "If it can't be crushed, it will be slashed, gashed, smashed, bashed, thrashed or trashed! :)" ( _Lance:_ It's scary how so accurate that guess of yours is lol)

 **Magic:** The reason why Sylvira has nose bleeds, blurry vision/ringing in ears and short of breath is essentially her 'limitation' and her body warning her that she's pushing it too much. It puts her own health at risk if she continues to push things too far when the blood vessels 'burst', and the last warnings are when nausea and dizziness come to threaten her state of consciousness. As for gravity, objects themselves are easy to manipulate yet if they are significantly heavier than her it would be like levitating a person and drain her equally as fast. Think of it as telekinesis having babies with biotics from mass effect, only without the cool glow :P Though Syl may seem powerful, keep in mind this is Skyhold and for all her confidence she's a relatively weak mage with tricks up her sleeve. All tricks aside and in a head-on battle, just think if Fen was pitted against Syl with water alone or even just shifting alone. And I think it's safe to say nobody stands a chance with even a _calm_ Ena (unless Syl were to play mind games with her).

 **Vocabulary**

 _[Elvhen] Uvun:_ Star

 _[Elvhen] On nydha:_ Good night

 _[Latin] Malam:_ Fuck

 _[Elvhen] Fenedhas:_ Do I really need to mention this one anymore? I don't want to piss off women XD

 _[Alamarri] Börisk:_ having the characteristics of a bear, aka "like a bear"

 _[French] Grâce:_ None other than 'Grace'

 _[Elvhen] Felasil:_ Fool, slow mind

 _[Latin] Per aspera ad astra, mea lux:_ To the stars through difficulty, my light

* * *

 **Change of Heart**

* * *

 _The First Day_

"Listen up kiddos!" Sylvira had her hands on her hips and proudly wore her half sliced shirt, her spat on scarf, her dirt covered breeches, her lopsided mussed up ponytail and her tattered half-jacket as if all was right in the world. After earning just enough trust for the children to know she meant no harm, she explained good soldiers were on the way to rescue them. "First and most important things first, you gotta call me Big Sis!" _Always wanted little siblings, this is a fuckin' dream come true hell yeah!_ "Or Coolest Sis! C'mon give it to me, who's the coolest?!"

Silence. The children exchanged confused glances yet this didn't deter Lavellan's enthusiasm, "Big Sis is the coolest! Anyways," she gave a slight jerk of her head to flip her hair over her shoulder and out of her face, "Second, let's get you runts something to wear," she took off her jacket and tossed it at the elven child, "You're the leader. The jacket's a symbol of your leadership," _my very own dalish apprentice._ She cackled evilly inside her head as a fantasy formed in her head of her and the apprentice dominating all the clans, _we'll be the best elvhen has to offer, not like those pretenders._

The children stood and merely gaped at her, Sylvira tilted her head in confusion, _maybe they don't understand me after all?_ She looked to the side and levitated one of the crates, her head snapping back when some of the kids yelped in fright or whispered their awe. She grinned and thumbed to herself while she simultaneously landed the crate beside her, "Big Sis'll take care of ya now. You don't have to worry about a single thing anymore." Setting to work and tearing off the lids of the crate with her magic until she found a shipment of clothing, the mage glanced from the corners of her eyes and checked on the kids shifting uncomfortably as they studied her. _They're still trying to determine if I'm trustworthy, adults are supposed to protect kids and yet abused that trust._ Her eyebrows furrowed and her temper flared, _innocence stolen from them, forced to grow up and mature faster than they should have._

 _ **Like me.**_

 _In a ruthless world, one must be ruthless to cope and survive,_ she reached inside the crate and brought out the clothes, distributing what looked like it wouldn't be too big on the child. _Don't mean we should be breeding and feeding it._ She did a quick head count then glanced around the camp, _nine mouths to feed plus me, Tao must've had some grub somewhere._ She chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her neck then sighed, "I hope I don't have to cook or I really will end up killing us all." Some of the children gasped and her head snapped to them, she waved her arms in protest, "Nonononono I meant that's how bad my cooking is! It's so shitty-" _crap,_ she bit her tongue, "Ah~ I meant it sucks that bad, it tastes horrendous it'll make us wish we..." She trailed off and her arms fell at her sides, she watched the frightened children with pity and her heart sank, _this is fucking shitty._

"Big Sis," Sylvira's eyes snapped to the dalish child and her heart immediately rose, she had been cast on cloud nine and had a dreamy look on her face as she grinned sloppily. _Wait, wait, wait,_ she shook her head and slapped her cheeks, _they'll think I'm a pervert if I don't watch it._ She waited for the child to continue only for the girl to stare at her with fear in her eyes, _uh… Shit did I already give them that impression?_ Realization dawned on her and she remembered one of the first rules, _brainwashed to speak only when spoken to, she's scared she went out of line when she addressed me._ She walked on over and reassuringly laid a hand on the girl's shoulder, ignoring the way she flinched and grinned brightly while giving a thumbs up.

"Forget those stupid rules kiddos, with Big Sis you're as free as a bird and you can do whatever the hell you feel like now. C'mon," she folded her hands behind her head and tried to relax her body posture as much as she could, _they'll sniff out anger easily enough. There will be time to piss and shit on Tao's corpse later but for now,_ "I'm starving! Let's go find something to eat!" _It'll take Dorian and Bull one day to get to Skyhold, and if the troops do their fucking jobs right they'll haul ass and organize themselves like their lives depend on it. Just have to hold out for at least three days huh?_ She groaned inwardly, _all the archers are dead, if I have to hunt I'm fucked._ Irritation crept up within her when she passed Sera's abandoned bow and quiver, _if only she'd stay, she'd have seen it all._

 _ **If he joins then I quit Syl.**_

 _Leliana will have tabs on her especially because of her Red Jenny connections, if she does leave I'll still know where she is._ She looked over her shoulder and grinned childishly at the kids who lingered behind her, "Lemme know if you kiddos see anything that might have food stored inside. I'm gonna need your help alright?" A few nods and she slowly strolled along, poking her head inside the small tents and checking inside the cabins, _she won't leave. She can't._ One of the children coughed and glanced over, it was the avvar boy and he pointed at a crate as he desperately tried to appear strong. _His eyes shine bright with fear,_ she slowly walked over and knelt down but the young man bravely stood ground and she smiled as she ruffled his hair, "Want to show me your big muscles? I hear the Avvar are super strong." He gulped and nodded reluctantly, he turned to the crate and hooked his fingers along the edge then tried to pry it off. The lid didn't budge and the boy struggled, tears of frustration in his eyes as he continuously tried to pull again and again, _shit I'm an idiot, these kids haven't eaten and here I am..._

Lavellan blocked her hand so the other children nor the boy noticed and flicked her palm towards her, the lid immediately lifted with ease yet she took care not to make it sail in the air, "Whoa~ you're really strong!" The avvar grinned with pride and he tossed the lid then hastily reached inside the crate for a portion of the rations, the other children immediately descended on the crate and Sylvira fought not to chuckle at the cute scene. _Cute, but not for the right reason,_ she rose slowly and stepped back to give them room then shoved her hands in her pockets, watching with sympathy as they tore apart the rations and ate like dogs.

 _How long has it been since they last had a decent meal?_ She looked at the dalish child and the young girl's jaunt cheek bones, _it's most obvious on her, looked like her ribs are ready to pierce skin. Worst treatment because of the ears,_ her eyebrows furrowed, _how many others did Tao smuggle?_ She shook her head, _I can't think like that, what's done is done and it's out of my hands. What's important now is that it's stopped… His group anyways._ "Big Sis?" A dreamy look was on her face again and she grinned sloppily at the dalish elf that knew exactly how to woo her, _she's gonna be a charmer like me when she grows up!_ The young girl held up and offered her half of her ration, _she's starving and yet she's… Giving it to me?_

"I'm alright kiddo," Sylvira grinned then knelt down and wiped the girl's chin with her thumb, "Besides, you look like you like it a lot." Her grin grew when the girl blushed and nodded timidly, "What's your name?"

"Uvun," _Star…?_ The girl gestured with her ration again, "You said earlier you were starving."

"Oh I did, did I~?" Lavellan rapped the side of her head with her knuckles and poked out her tongue, "I dunno~ I don't remember this!" Her grin grew when Uvun giggled, "Really though, I'm fine. If I get hungry I'll grab myself something alright? Go on, back to your buddies," she stood and smiled when the young girl ran back to join her friends and protectively watched over them as they ate, her eyes fell on Uvun every time. _Pretty name, her mom must've given birth under the night sky then, or maybe she just likes stars._ She fought back a scowl at the thought of the dalish _._

 _Was she abandoned then kidnapped?_ She couldn't sense any magical energy from the girl, or perhaps it was still too weak and underdeveloped to notice, _was her clan killed? Did she wander too far from the camp?_ She glanced at the other children, _fuck. What am I supposed to do if Leliana or Josephine can't find their families?_ She inwardly groaned, _Skyhold isn't a place for them._ Truth be told, she was just nervous of the kids seeing her drunk off her ass, flirting, or naked. Though she didn't care what others thought of her, exposing and being a bad influence to kids was an entirely different matter for her. _What will I do if I can't party anymore,_ she closed her eyes and her lips pursed in a thin line as sweat trickled down her forehead, _what if I can't swear, oh shit what if I can't play Wicked Grace anymore?! I guess I could but it's not as fun if the stakes aren't clothes…_

Letting out a quiet sigh, she plopped on the ground then laid on her back as she stretched out her arms and legs. _I'm so fucked. I'll have to make a rule that my chambers are off limits and party there then, anyone who dares defy it must pay tribute in booze… Yeah! I'll make this rule anyways even if they find their homes._ She folded her hands under her head as she watched the sun set slowly, pursing her lips and whistling a random out-of-key tune as she wondered what to do with the kids next. _I'm already bored out my mind, I'll lose it in three days._ "Hey," she spoke loudly enough for the kids to hear, "What do you wanna do after you're done eating?"

Silence apart from the crunching and munching, she could hear a few shifts and swipes at the dirt, _they either don't understand or they're still afraid._ She took a deep breath and let out a quiet sigh, the more she was reminded these children were no longer normal or innocent the more her temper lashed against it's cage. _Should've told Dorian to stay, raise Tao for me to kill over and over again._ She lifted her head and looked down at the dirty cotton shirt then unfolded her hands to roll up the sleeves to her elbows, she tugged up the shirt a little to hide the cleavage that was now so easy to see thanks to how far Sera sliced the shirt. _Gonna be a slow recovery for them depending how long they stayed in Tao's 'care', I didn't understand what the fuck was so wrong about it all until the Collectives rescued me. And these kids are younger than I was, they probably don't even understand-_ she bit down on her lip so hard she winced at the sting- _what rape is, only that it hurt._

"Big Sis?" Sylvira's heart melted and she had her dreamy sloppy grin plastered on her face in an instant, she recovered and slapped her cheeks then sat up. Uvun had a guilty smile, the mage stared confusedly at her then the other children who also wore the same expressions, _uh?_ "Can we sleep?" _What the, why's she asking me?_ She caught herself before she frowned at the realization, _they needed permission for every little thing, probably to piss and shit themselves too… Fucking Tao,_ she swallowed the angry lump at her throat and grinned reassuringly then nodded eagerly, _should double check if the camp gates are closed first._

"Sure ya can, and hey you don't have to ask me for nothing. Whatever you wanna do feel free as long as you stay safe alright? Big Sis is gonna go make sure the gates are locked and then I'll make us a bonfire to stay toasty for the night." When she rose Uvun gently grasped her wrist and silently protested with her eyes, "I'll be back for sure, I promise." She knelt down and patted the elven girl's head, "You're the leader, and the leader has to be brave for their army even if they're shaking in their booties. Think of your fear as excitement and cover it with a smile," she pointed to her mouth and grinned exaggeratedly, "Like this!" Uvun seemed to hesitate for a moment then shyly copied her before both laughed at the silliness of their expressions, "Atta girl. Gimme five minutes!" Lavellan bounced up on her feet and immediately set off jogging, ignoring the aches and sores as her legs protested to the constant activity.

 _ **This is what happens when you don't work you lazy fat arse!**_

 _Ugh, making fun of me even when she's not even here._ On the way to the first gate she filched the box of matches from Tao and quickly scrounged the crate of clothes for something to burn, then shuffled back and stretched out her palm. She levitated the box then slammed it into the ground and compressed it, the pieces cracked and gave within seconds, _pick those up on the way back for logs._ She made it to the first gate and was grateful it had already been closed, she brought down the plank lock sealing the doors and ran back to the crate in pieces. Gathering a few logs she made it back to the kids and dropped off the materials there, grinning when they watched her in both awe and confusion as they tried to figure out what it was she was even doing.

"Watch this, this'll make your eyes roll." She set up the pieces of wood and chucked the clothing on top then lit the match, tossing it into the pile and flicking her wrist to feed it air at the base but not enough to extinguish it. Within moments the fire roared and crackled, the children gasped and their jaws hung loosely as if it were the most miraculous thing they've ever seen. "See? Told ya Big Sis is the coolest! Now stay here and don't play with the fire, I'm gonna go check on the second gate." The kids nodded and as she jogged off she heard their giggles and laughter as they exclaimed about the fire, _tell 'em about it and they don't give a fuck, do it right in front of their eyes and it's like magic._

At that an idea hit her mind and she glanced at her satchel and tome bouncing along on her thigh, _I should have something in there, maybe a light show? Illusions too-wait nah fucking with their heads will freak them out some more. Light shows it is._ After ensuring the second gate was locked and sliding the plank down, she rushed back to the children and nearly exploded on the spot. _Way. Too. Fucking._

 _ **CUTE!**_

 _Fuck I wanna kiss the shit outta all of them and pinch their cheeks!_ Her eyes darted from child to child, within the few minutes she had left them most of them had laid down nearby the fire and had already been sleeping away. _That can't be comfortable though,_ her heart swelled and she paused for a moment before trying to calm herself down and playing it off as if it didn't phase her. She flipped the dangling ends of her scarf over her shoulder and shoved her hands in her pockets, smirking as she took her place beside Uvun who stayed up and obviously struggled not to fall asleep herself.

"You did great, leader. Everyone's safe and sleeping without a damn care in the world just like how they should." She laid down on her back and extended her right arm out, "Here's your reward." Her heart ached when the little child carefully positioned herself to lay her head on the crook of Sylvira's shoulder and arm, _just like Sera…_ It was then she noticed the girl's dirt-cloaked blonde hair and sighed, she curled her arm and rested her hand on Uvun's shoulder then pulled her closer. "On nydha, Uvun." She fought off the bothersome feelings nagging on the edges of her thoughts as she too drifted off into a peaceful slumber, her lips pursed in a sad smile.

 _I miss my light._

* * *

"Will you two quit whispering? I can still hear you," Sera grumbled, "I'm done, what's there to whisper about?" _Finally here, took too damn long,_ they were just about to cross the bridge and into Skyhold, the rogue couldn't wait to jump off the horse and begin packing her things.

"I don't think the Inquisitor-"

"Shut it Moustache, she made it clear."

"To be fair," Bull scratched his scruffy stubble as he hummed in thought, "This always happens. She orders us to go away and ends up doing something… Well. Good? I think."

"If you gotta think 'bout it then it ain't so good," the archer muttered bitterly, "In any case, she don't need me now that she's got her fancy mercs. Wasn't it the same with you Bull? Told yer guys to piss off so she could have her fuckin' ships and horny horns. Was it worth it?"

"Hey," Dorian chided softly and Sera winced when the qunari's eye flashed dangerously, "What's done is done. In any case if you do decide to go-"

"Which I will."

"It's been fun working with you. I'll miss my favorite imp, there will be less juicy scandals now. Good luck," they passed the gates and Sera hopped off the horse instead of going to the stables, her heart ached at Dorian's last words. "Wherever it is you're going." _What am I gonna do now?_ She looked up at the sky as she wove through laborers and soldiers, _go back to playing, I guess._ She entered the tavern and looked around, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked at the same broody drunks passed out on the tables. _Must've been real boring with Syl and me gone, nobody to start the party…_ Her temper flared and she stormed up to her stairs to her room, she unhooked her belt and thigh pouch then sat on her pillows for one last time, twirling her dagger in her hands as she soaked in the details of her room before it would be barren once again. _Don't even wanna mess up her room,_ Sera's mood dipped and curled up her knees to her chest, _don't wanna do nothing._

 _ **That's a no brainer, his connections are stronger and more organized than the Red Jennies, but you alone...**_

 _Tch, fucking bitch. We'll see how much stronger they are when Jennies are on your ass, Syl. Bet I can find tons o' people in here that hate working for you._ She couldn't help but wonder what Sylvira was going to say about her alone though and she hugged her knees tighter, _more bullshit, no doubt about it._

 _ **You never let me finish. If you'd just trust me…**_

"Fuck this is annoying," she huffed and swung her legs off then slowly began to pack, _trust? There's nothing to even trust, you're a prick through and through._ A couple knocks on the door and she grumbled, "Yeah whatever come in." The door opened and revealed a messenger in scout's clothing, _one of Red's?_ "Whatcha want?"

"The Spymaster has requested your presence and would like to speak with you now." Before Sera could retort about no longer being in the Inquisition, _and I ain't a mutt taking orders,_ the scout left and she sighed, _might as well see what she wants then… Maybe Bull already told her and she's gonna threaten me 'bout the Jennies,_ her lips curled into a smirk as she exited her room and made way to the tower Leliana was in, _smile and say I don't give a fuck. Wait a few days, and hit. If that servant that stole from Syl slipped under her nose I bet there's more like 'em._ Guilt momentarily welled up before it was promptly squashed down, _there's a reason that servant did it and if Syl fucked with her too then no wonder. I'll find her and we'll work together,_ with an affirmative nod, she fought not to grin as she made way up the tower and to Leliana. _We'll do something better than templars and a stupid ring._

* * *

The Second Day

"Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit!" Sylvira had never before felt fear as strongly as she did now, she sprinted as fast as her legs could carry her and leaped over the half wall. She sneezed suddenly and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand, _someone must be talking about me, no surprise there!_ She shivered randomly, _and that's not a good sign,_ "Shit!" Part of her felt guilty for cursing as much as she did but as she glanced over her shoulder that guilt was tossed out the window, "Fuck I'm gonna die!"

The horde chasing her was none other than the children, and unfortunately Lavellan had been _really fucking_ stupid when her ego got the best of her and announced it would be her versus the kids in a game of Tag. She underestimated them thinking she had the upper hand for being the _glorious_ Inquisitor and _certified_ demon ass-kicker, but that meant little when the battle was about running away from nine _way-too-fucking_ hyper kids. _What the hell's in those rations?!_ She rounded the corner and her thighs gave out, she scrambled on her hands and knees as she dove forward to dodge the leaping avvar boy then continuously rolled in the dirt as if her life depended on it, _he's the craziest one! What the fuck do the Avvar feed their brats for him to move like this?!_

"Malamfenedhaspfffttt," she coughed and stuck out her tongue which only made her situation even worse, "Shit," she spat and accidentally swallowed more dust that flew in her mouth, "Fucking dirt!" Looking to the hills in desperation as she clambered to her feet and continued running she groaned as she jumped over the Orlesian girl and broke her fall by rolling on her shoulders then back on her feet. _Fuck yeah! I'm like Sera now, all rogue-y and shit!_ "Reinforcements **now** would be awesome," she grumbled as she heaved for air, she glanced over her shoulder and groaned exasperatedly when it was Uvun chasing her, "Hey hasn't it been more than five minutes?!"

"What was that?!" The little elven girl had a killer cheshire grin and she too looked out of breath but refused to give up, _my apprentice is too fucking hardcore for me, but the master cannot be defeated!_ Lavellan's eyes darted left and right, searching for ways to escape or use and she smirked smugly when one of the smaller cabins had crates stacked on the side, _fuck yeah!_ Being nearly as tall as a human had it's advantages and she legitimately  prayed her legs would hold on just a little bit longer as she climbed the crates, "That's cheating!"

"No rules remember?!" Sylvira cackled like an evil magister and jumped up then hooked her fingers along the edge of the cabin roof to climb up, laughing when Uvun had been hopping up and down on the crates in an attempt to reach. "Listen up here's leader lesson#8. Use anything and everything at your disposal," she tapped her forehead with her finger, "The mind is the greatest weapon if you know how to harness it, it'll get you out of any situation. So Uvun! Look around you, what can you use to get up here?" She grinned proudly when the young girl glanced around, her eyebrows knitted together in concentration and her eyes slowly scanned the camp. _She's a really smart kid, her talents are wasted sitting by campfires with the pretenders,_ she crossed her arms and waited, her proud grin growing ever so slowly when it seemed as though Uvun had come to a conclusion and began to formulate a plan. The children looked on her for guidance and whatever Uvun had done, they had also. _Natural leader, they trust her without any qualms,_ her heart faltered at that, _unlike me._

"Climb my shoulders Börisk," Uvun knelt down on the tallest crate, "Then help Grâce on your shoulders!" _Not bad, she knows the avvar boy would be able to balance without making it too heavy for her and support the Orlesian. Not bad at all…_ Lavellan whistled in approval and grinned brightly as she gave a thumbs up.

"Good thinking leader, but there's just one tiny problem now." She took care to levitate the crates just the slightest bit, "What will you do if your enemy can do that, and simply move away from the edge of this roof?" _She's a hard worker, she'll be a very good apprentice… Too bad she'll have to go back home._ The elven girl face contorted into one of obvious frustration and Sylvira chuckled, "It's something to think about another time, when you grow older and get the hang of this. For now though- _hup!_ " She jumped down the series of crates and laughed when the children automatically tackled her, the doggy pile made her panic and wonder if her ribs were going to break under the weight. " _Hooo_ ," she grunted and grumbled as she tapped whoever was on top of her, " _Dying! Can't…_ Breathe!"

Thankfully the kids heard her and one by one climbed off none too gently, but Sylvira didn't care when she could finally expand her lungs once again, "You guys are crazy!" She mirrored their childish grins then looked up at the sky as the sun gradually set, _it's near the end of the second day. Someone's getting a tongue thrashing if the reinforcements don't come tomorrow._ "Alright come on, let's go get-" her ears perked when there was loud banging at the South gate, _what the fuck? They should be coming from the North._ Her eyes narrowed when she heard faint swearing and knelt down then looked at Uvun, "Go get the campfire ready and get started on the rations alright? I got something I gotta go take care of. Don't come to the South Gate," she smiled reassuringly when the elven girl looked past her with concern, _how good is her hearing?_ "I'll take care of it, don't worry. Go." She rose and ruffled the dirt-cloaked blonde hair then shoved her hands in her pockets and walked towards the gate, glancing over her shoulder and relieved to see the children didn't follow her. _This isn't good._

"Open up the mother fucking gate Tao! We been traveling nonstop for days, got another shipment!" _I'll be taking that from you, thanks._ Sylvira rose the plank and opened the gates then grinned cheekily, she rose her hand and imitated Sera's accent.

"Yo! Tao's sleepin', want me to go get 'im for ya?" She smirked smugly when the three guards leered at her with dirty looks on their faces, she looked down at her tattered clothes sporting grass marks and dust patches. _Idiots thinking with their other heads,_ she had been completely comfortable in her own skin and hadn't cared about the cleavage, _they'll thank me soon for gracing them with the view._ The men nodded and brought in the wagon, Lavellan kept her face composed and blank when she saw four frightened children in the back. "Gimme a minute fellas, y'know how that shithead's like."

"Sleeps like the fuckin' dead, cheap bastard better give us good coin and food for this haul."

"He will, he will, he's the definition of generosity." Sylvira waved her hand in precise gestures then shoved it back in her pockets as she turned around, "Now hold on to yer panties, I'll go bring Tao for ya!" The men whistled as she strode towards the cabin where she dumped the body, her smug smirk rapidly grew into a ruthless grin as she pulled on the rope tied around the man's ankles. She vaguely heard their inquiries about the missing guards, and then _who cares? Tao needs more hot blondies like her, think she'll warm my bedroll tonight?_ She dragged the body behind her and as she came back she snapped her fingers to detonate one rune primed beneath a guard, "Oh, I'll warm you up for sure. Toss you into the camp fire." The other two panicked and their eyes widened when she stepped to the side and revealed what she had been dragging, "See? Told you Tao's generous," she laughed when one mercenary unsheathed his sword and began sprinting towards her, she snapped her fingers again and detonated another glyph just before her feet.

"Y-you're..." The last mercenary gulped and he fell on his ass, "A m-monster!"

"Then that makes you the fucking devil, for kidnapping kids to be sold as slaves!" Sylvira levitated Tao's dead body and flicked her wrist, the body flung and crashed into the last mercenary. She swept her arm downwards and gravity did it's trusted work when she clenched her fist, frustration rising within her when the ringing in her ears and blurry vision settled in. Thankfully they had tied the horse of the wagon to the post, the scared steed caused a ruckus and she rushed around the other side as she shouted out as loudly as she could, "Uvun! Get rations and clothes for four more!" She smothered her anger as best as she could when she rounded to the back of the wagon and saw the frightened children, she rose her hands in a nonthreatening manner as she climbed up, "I won't hurt you, I'm a friendly." The kids cowered to the wall and she chewed on her lip, _six, four, eight and eight it looks like._ She was eternally grateful when Uvun brought the whole group and helped her climb up the wagon, the elven girl immediately inspired trust when she gave them extra clothes. _Good hearing, natural leader, fearless._

 _ **Unlike me.**_

"Börisk, gimme those rations," Lavellan ignored how the other kids piled around and inspected the dead mercenaries, _there's no innocence left, they've witnessed the worst humanity has to offer._ She nodded her thanks to the young avvar boy who didn't seem bothered by it at all, _of course, he probably knows about the dead best especially if he's helped with burials._ She couldn't help but wonder exactly how the Inquisition was going to return the boy, if she recalled correctly the Avvar look down on capture and would rather commit suicide.

 _They wouldn't kill their own son for returning safely though, would they?_ She shook her head, _now is not the time to think about these things._ Handing out the rations and helping Uvun off the wagon, the four new children followed her lead and carefully hopped down with Lavellan secretly levitating them to ensure they'd land safely. _Fereldans this time, fresh shipment, less abuse and easiest to return home._ She looked at the dead guards then back at Uvun, "Go to the camp fire, I'm going to… Move them outside."

"I'll help," the avvar boy stated proudly and flexed his arms, Sylvira chuckled and nodded. When the kids left, the mage went to the horse and gazed in the steed's eyes as she pet the mane, calming it and feeding it leftover rations. _If worst comes to worst, we can take this wagon and slowly make it back to Skyhold ourselves._ She turned around and set to work, reserving her magicka and reluctantly physically lifting the corpses to toss out the gate. The young boy dragged one by the ankles as if it were no problem, and Lavellan fought not to huff and puff from the exertion, _just what the fuck is that kid made out of?! Fuck I hate labor!_ After all bodies were outside she stopped him when he picked up a rock and shook her head, "No return?" _He's doesn't look older than nine and the Avvar already taught him rituals?_

"Nope. They don't deserve the respect to be returned to the skies, leave them for the wolves." Her stomach churned and she fought back a grimace, _if I had to watch this kid dismember them for the birds I think I'd lose my damn lungs in the bushes._ Börisk hesitantly dropped the rock and they went back inside the camp, the dalish woman closed the gates then slowly lowered the plank back down with her magic and wiped the sweat off her brow. "Good work champ," that seemed to delight the young man and she laughed as he jumped up and down, _feats of strength are that important to them?_ They made way for the fire and she grinned proudly, _they were able to set it up by themselves this time, little runts are much smarter than I thought._ Uvun and Grâce had already sat down and conversed with the new children, explaining who Sylvira was and she was especially delighted when the elven girl looked stern and serious regarding the 'Big Sis' nickname. _She's gonna surpass her master and become the best charmer in the world at this rate._

As she sat down, she turned her palms upward and rested them on her knees to show the new children she meant no harm. _I'll need to be extra vigilant in earning their trust before the soldiers come. Seeing a horde of men will frighten them,_ she fought back a frown, _feelings are so troublesome…_ She'd been reminded and tried to drown the memories constantly pushing to surface, she abruptly cut off the thoughts before they flourished and focused instead on the kids introducing themselves to each other. The four year old had been particularly shy yet easiest to trust and sat in Lavellan's lap, taking in his surroundings with wide eyes, _curious little tyke isn't he?_ She chuckled when he reached up for her lopsided ponytail and took the ends, inquisitively inspecting the dust-cloaked strands before nibbling on it, "Oi, oi, oi," Sylvira gently pried it away from him, "Whatcha doin' there fella?"

"You smell nice," the boy replied timidly, "What is it?" _So he was eating my hair to figure it out? Kids can be so weird._

"Mango, it's a fruit." He didn't seem to pay attention any longer and clapped when the avvar boy suddenly broke out in a play-wrestling match with the one of the new eight year olds, both raring to prove their strength for some odd reason Lavellan didn't care to think about. She tried to ignore the heart ache and looked up at the sky as the sun set, fighting off the anger that threatened to swallow her temper, _this is frustrating._

 _ **Tryin' to figure out what kinda fruit you smell like, sweet and flowery but sour.**_

 _Useless feelings, all of them._ The images of Sera walking away and pissed off made matters worse, _she's always leaving, never trusts me. No, that's wrong actually._

 _ **I trust that yer a fuckin' heartless prick Syl.**_

 _Yeah, that._ Her eyebrows furrowed and she was snapped out her reverie when the boy turned in her lap and tugged on her shirt, she closed the cut flap when he gaped at her cleavage, _thanks Sera, it's because of you I'm gonna have parents bitching at me for tainting their kids._ "You look sad," he suddenly blurted, his wide eyes seemingly gazed into the depths of hers and she looked back up, uncomfortable with whatever he may have seen.

"What makes you say that kiddo?"

"You look like my puppy when he misses mama," he turned back around in her lap then leaned into her, looking up at as she peered down at him, "Do you miss mama?"

"I don't have a mama," Sylvira muttered bitterly and the boy stared confusedly, she sighed and grinned reassuringly as she patted his head, "Don't worry 'bout it lil guy. Come on," she rose her voice for the other kids to hear, "Time to go to sleep kiddos!" Many protested and she chuckled, "Tomorrow's gonna be a big day when the good guys come, you're gonna need all the sleep you can get. C'mon on you go no more whining let's go, let's go!" After quite some time searching new crates for some more things to sleep on and feed the fire, everybody rearranged themselves and Sylvira laid on her back as she stared at the stars. The four year old decided to use her as a pillow and she grumbled inwardly, _I wanna sleep on someone too…_

 _ **I was testing how comfy your pillows are and congratulations! They passed the test. Can I sleep on them?**_

 _This is annoying, I can't get her out of my mind._ She relaxed as best as she could and folded one arm beneath her head as the other protectively wrapped around the small of the child's back, _always got to be something blowing up in my face whenever I leave Skyhold,_ she chuckled mentally, _all of this started because I read some stupid report while playing chess._ She glanced down and at the children, _well, I guess it's not so bad. Finally got to do work that actually makes a fucking difference instead of shaking some felasil noble's hand. Nothing's worse than doing useless unnecessary work._ Her thoughts drifted for some time and she'd check on the sleeping kids until back to the stars, her lips curling into a small smile.

 _ **Per aspera ad astra, mea lux.**_

* * *

After scouting out an abandoned cabin she could crash at for the night, Sera hopped off the horse and tied the reata to one of the trees nearby. She checked the over-stuffed pack strapped to the saddle and frowned, _took as much as I could, not as much as I wanted._ Satisfied it was all holding she took off the bow secured on the other side and cautiously made way inside the abandoned cabin, sweeping every nook and cranny to ensure she was in fact alone. _Been a while since I've been on my own innit?_ She slung her sack off her shoulder and searched it for some rations as well as matches, relieved that the cabin also had an old fireplace.

As she worked to set herself up for the night, her lips curled in a subtle smirk when she was reminded of a foolish memory. _Being stranded with Syl on the coast, got separated from the group when we both took a break from the walking and then got lost after._ She sighed heavily and shook her head to cut off the thought, "No point thinking 'bout that." Striking the match and tossing it into the fireplace, she sat on her bedroll then took out a severely battered journal from her pack. As she opened up the pages to a random entry, she dug into her rations and took care not to leave a mess on the abused and dusty pages.

 _9:40 Dragon Cloudreach 8th_

 _Harrith's been asking for more lyrium lately, this war's better business then I thought. Just a bit more coin and I'll be able to purchase the last slave._

 _ **I like you because you don't give a fuck about the past. Keep it that way.**_

 _Something stinks with all this._ Other entries she flipped to were just as vague and offered no insight to the mage's intentions and she groaned, "Why'd Red give me this even when I told her I quit?" The pages flew by her thumb and stopped when one entry had the corner of the page folded in.

 _9:41 Dragon Bloomingtide 2nd_

 _Recruited Red Jenny Sera. She likes me, I can see it in the way she looks at me._

Sera burst out laughing and the crumbs in her mouth spewed into the fire, she dropped the journal on the ground and wrapped her arms around her ribs as she fell on her back. "W-what the fuck Syl!" She wiped the tears from her eyes when she calmed down and picked the journal back up to continue reading the entry, "I definitely remember thinking you were an elfy idiot, not this."

 _On the journey back to Haven we got to talk for quite a bit. She actually gets shit done unlike the rest of the sloggers here, but emotion guides her whims and her bow arm. Business will be problematic with her._

"So that's why she was all up in my face about her calling the shots before, told her to stuff it or I'd stuff it with an arrow. Showed her who's boss," the archer grinned proudly and continued to the next entry, "Don't write as much as she blabs, huh… It's all boring shite."

 _9:41 Dragon Bloomingtide 9th_

 _Passages 212-219 theoretically impossible, would be preferable to have a subject to test on. I don't trust anybody here, only me._

Sera's eyebrows furrowed, "This why she been buying slaves… To test magic shite? What the fuck?!" Her blood boiled with anger as she continued reading, "And then she wonders why the fuck people wanna lock up mages?"

 _Spell backfired. Theory incorrect, rune pattern incorrect. Benefits once activated, but permanent side effects._

"I don't get none of this shite, she just scribbles random crap," there had been numerous doodles that perhaps meant something to the mage but Sera couldn't make any sense of them. It was nothing but intricate lines and shapes, one had taken up the entire page and she tried to trace it just with her eyes. She was thoroughly confused and lost by the fourth line, "There's got to be over fifty or something. This is the crap she draws for her fancy whatevers in the ground?" She flipped to the next page, then the next, until she had zipped by at least twenty filled with nothing but patterns, doodles and a few chicken-scratch lines. "This is the crap she takes seriously… She's a fuckin' book worm and I never saw it, what the fuck?" Her eyebrows rose in interest at another entry with a folded corner and she huffed in frustration with how incredibly vague it was.

 _9:41 Dragon Bloomingtide 27th_

 _I'm in love._

"Shit stupid why wouldn't you write down with who?! You don't even fuckin' know how to use a journal, loser."

 _ **I have a sexy imagination! Big beautiful difference my love.**_

Sighing exasperatedly and promptly stuffing the journal back in her sack along with her rations, she tended to the fire then laid down in her bedroll. _No point thinking 'bout it._ The exhaustion of nonstop riding settled in immediately and drowsiness blanketed her mind, her thoughts wandered on random things until sleep eventually took her. _No more jerking around._

* * *

The Third Day

"I spy~ with my little eye~ something that is..." Sylvira hummed thoughtfully and glanced around to throw off the kids after already having picked her object, "White!" She laughed when the children already started blurting the wrong answers, things like the cloud, the ashes, the tents, pale skin, eye-whites, her dirty cotton shirt, so on and so forth. _They'll never get this,_ she decided to give a subtle hint and hooked her finger on the scarf, tugging slightly to make it seem like she was loosening it up a little. She looked down at the dangling ends and groaned inwardly, _I'm definitely going to need to wash all this shit out, at least the spit's good for something._ Uvun seemed to be the only one who honed in on her hint yet her eyes swirled with confusion, Lavellan casually leaned back on her palms and stretched out her legs as she grinned smugly. _Black and red, the dirt will make it hard for her to point it out._ Eventually the kids gave up and she stood on her feet, stretching her arms above her head then bending side to side. She thumbed to the spit stains on her scarf and chuckled when the kids made noises of disgust, "Hey~ it helped me win didn't it? Gotcha suckers!"

"That's cheating!" That dreaded word. Sylvira didn't react fast enough when the kids decided to tackle her in revenge for her perceived cheating tricks and doggy piled her, _I lost my fucking count on how many times they've done this shit to me. Pretty sure I've got a fractured rib,_ she tapped and wheezed under the crushing weight as she pleaded for mercy, _can't believe I'm begging for my life with runts._ Her lips curled into a smile as she slowly sat up when the children clambered off then chased each other, she groaned in protest when she felt the four year old begin to climb on her back again, _Creators please no... These kids will be the death of me if the reinforcements don't come today._ Wracking her brain for something to distract the young boy and save her sore back, she glanced over her shoulder and blurted out.

"How about I tell a story instead?" Her eyes widened and beads of sweat instantly formed then trickled down her forehead.

 _ **I'M SO FUCKED.**_

 _Why did I say that?! Crap!_ The children all froze in their spots and stared at her with obvious excitement etched on their features, _that'll only make them more hyper!_ She sighed exasperatedly when she was dragged to her feet as Börisk grabbed her wrists, situating her in front of the kids who sat politely… In  rows. _What the hell is this, a class?!_ Repressing a groan and raking her hand through her ample bangs she tried to think of a suitable story that would be okay to tell children. _Maybe I can_ _tell_ _them about that time in the cave with-no Sera swore a lot. What about the tavern when I-wait no I swore a lot then too… Oh wait I know!_ "How about this one time I fought off a group of demons?" She chuckled at the eager nods and gasps of awe, _stuff like that will always be cool to kids._ "Big Sis was a hero that day too," she acted out the story with her body and hands, "I saved my best friend Sera's ar-bum from **near death**!"

More gasps and she grinned, "The demon snuck up behind her and was about to strike her with it's massive claws," she expanded her arms to show how long the claws were. "After I finished off a demon of my own I saw what was about to happen and began sprinting for her," she jogged on the spot, "And WHAM! I pushed her out of the way! I turned around," she spun on her heels and her back faced the kids then glanced over her shoulders, "But the demon disappeared then popped up behind me. UGH!" She fell on her knees and squeezed her eyes shut, "I got slashed in the back," the children gasped again and she slumped on her stomach, "But it's not over yet!" She rolled on her back and stretched out her hands to the sky with a massive grin, pretending as if she held a bow and drew back the string, "Pew, shot it right through it's head." Her arms fell to her sides and the children cheered, she chuckled and her eyes fluttered shut, "And that's how I saved Sera..."

"Oh, that so?" Sylvira's eyes snapped open and immediately sweat bullets but she remained petrified in her spot due to the frightening ominous aura, the kids immediately fell silent save for a few whispers of uncertainty, _that can't be right. I'm dreaming right? I'm so fucked if-_ her eyes widened when the sounds of boots kicking dirt neared and the archer came into her view. Both women stared at each other upside down, Sera had a deadpan expression and her hands on her hips, " **Funny**. That's not how  I remember it, Syl." The razor sharp slits promised all sorts of not-the-right-reason-punishment, Lavellan smiled guiltily and rose her two fingers to her forehead then saluted as she gulped nervously. _It's time to pull out the special one._

"Y-yo… Sera… It suddenly occurred to me that you're so hot, I could bake cookies on you. Want... To go... Bake...?"

 _ **I'm dead.**_

* * *

Five Minutes Later…

"Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit!"


	6. Hedgehog's Dilemma

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Sylvira invented her own language this chapter ;)

 **Vocabulary**

 _[Sylvira] Twapf phwat:_ That fast

 _[Sylvira] Tchwaytoh:_ Traitor

 _[Elvhen] Mi'nas'sal'inan:_ Missing someone you have a deep attachment to or know you will never get back. Literally "I feel the knife once more within my soul."

* * *

 **Hedgehog's Dilemma**

* * *

"Eh~ is there a specific reason you've tied me up? The right re-"

"Shut up. Just stand there and look pretty."

"I always do that without the standing anyways." Sylvira grinned cheekily when the archer huffed, she glanced over her shoulder at her wrists tied together then up at her forehead, for some odd reason Sera wrapped a bandana around her forehead that had 'loser' scribbled on it in large letters. Despite the playful front, she couldn't help but feel a tinge of suspicion at Sera's sudden re-appearance and observed her from the corner of her eyes while Sera scanned the group of kids politely sitting in rows again. _I_ _f they see that I don't trust her_ _fully_ _they_ _'ll be scared_ _,_ "It's alright kiddos, she's one of the good guys. She just shows she cares about me in a weird way."

"You're the weird one," the rogue retorted, "You got 'em calling you Big Sis. Just what kind of weird crap are you into?" Uvun seemed to be the most uncomfortable of the group and Lavellan walked over then knelt down, grinning reassuringly, _weirder than I thought moving with my arms tied behind me._ _Good practice for later with Sera~ eheheheh._

"Hey leader, what do your instincts tell you 'bout that lady?"

"She's..." Uvun gulped nervously and shifted uncomfortably under the gaze of all the children, "A good guy."

"She is~, she is!" Sylvira rose and spun on her feet theatrically as she walked towards Sera with a bounce in her step, she leaned in and whispered with a stern look on her face, "Not here. I'll meet you in the cabin."

"What the fu- _mmph?!_ " The archer recoiled back and pushed Lavellan away to break the sudden kiss, angrily wiping her mouth with her forearm before storming off into the cabin. _I'll be paying for that soon, but she can't be swearing in front of the fucking kids._ The children either giggled or made mock noises of disgust and pretended to puke, the dalish woman chuckled and smirked, _exposing them to bad shit anyway_ _s. This is exactly why I'm never gonna be a mom._

"Yo Uvun, get working on lunch. I'm gonna go talk to Sera and figure out when the rest of the good guys show up alright? Make sure you kiddos save your energy for the long trip back!" She turned around and did a double peace sign with her hands tied behind her back, earning giggles at the silliness of it all with her fingers at her rear-end. Running over to the cabin she stood and stared at the handle, "Uh can you open the door for me? I'm kinda… Well you know."

"Nope," Sera muffled behind, "Figure it out." _Great,_ the mage sighed, _this is not going to be easy. She's still pissed the hell off,_ she groaned inwardly as she inspected the handle then turned around and lined her hands up to it, _how troublesome._ Walking forward and slowly opening up the door, she quickly spun on her feet and squeezed through the crack before it slammed shut again, coming face to face with a rather… Unhappy woman, to say the least. "What makes you think you can go kissing people pissed off at you?"

"You were about to swear," Sylvira calmly explained and strode forward, undaunted by the warning flash in the razor sharp slits, "And since you've graciously rendered my hands useless, I had to shut you up somehow." She smirked smugly, "It worked out in your favor." _I need to figure out why she's_ _come back_ _._

"Mine, or yours?" Sera refused to back down when the mage lowered mere inches away from her face, "Try it again and I'll stripe you up Syl."

"Don't deny it Sera, I know you came back for me. I knew you couldn't resist me," her grin grew when the archer barked out a brief laugh.

"Get over yourself already. I came back for the kids and to kick your ass before I leave."

"Leave?"

"Yeah," the rogue sneered with pride, "I quit the Inquisition." That had been a blow and Lavellan leaned back, schooling her features to reveal nothing. _Tao's body is off for the wolves, she won't believe_ _what I actually did_ _without proof_ _and_ _I'm not roping the kids in_ _a senseless argument._

"I see." _That's it then,_ _no point fighting a lost battle_ _._ The dalish woman sighed and turned around as she ignored the turmoil within her, "Well kick my ass, cut the ropes and let me go back to the runts already. I don't have all day."

"You don't even care, as usual," Sera scoffed and unsheathed her dagger then cut the binds, "You never fucking care."

"You won't believe what I say anyways," Sylvira rubbed her wrists to relieve the ache, "I'm not going to dote on you, you're an adult." She glanced over her shoulder, "I killed Tao the moment you left," she fought her grimace when the archer chuckled sarcastically. "Told you, you wouldn't believe me. And since I don't have the body because it's in a wolf's belly, there goes my proof. So, time better spent making sure the kiddos are happy instead." She shoved her hands in her pockets but before she left she glanced over her shoulder, "How did you get inside? Not through the gates right?"

"Nope, climbed the same crates as before," Sera muttered, "So… That's it then? That's all?"

"Okay look," Lavellan ripped off the bandana and sighed irritably as she spun around, "What the fuck is it do you expect me to say? If you don't believe me, what the fuck am I supposed to do?" Her temper snapped and she shouted, "It's a waste of fucking time and breath to talk when you're just going to leave anyways! And for what?! To shove it in my face, hurt me? You're such a fucking hypocrite it's not even funny anymore." She threw the bandana on the ground, "You didn't need to remind me with something as stupid as this," she gestured to the offending cloth on the floor, "I already know I'm a loser." She turned for the door, "Because you never intended to give me a chance to win in the first place. Now if you're not here to help the kids then just leave and run away. **As usual**."

* * *

"Yo kiddos!" The rest of whatever it was the mage cheerfully said to the children was muffled by the door and Sera's jaw tensed, the muscles of her neck rippled and her fists clenched tightly. She kicked the door open with the intention of not letting Sylvira have the last word but froze in her spot, her jaw slackened at the scene before her. The dalish woman had the four year old on her shoulders while several of the other children were tugging on her hands, jumping up and down as they demanded more stories or games. The dirty cotton shirt was tattered with one side tucked under the belt as the other side lay loosely on top, the rest of the clothes had an obscene amount of grass stains and dirt clinging on it. Sera gritted her teeth when she honed in on the spit stains on the scarf and yet despite it all, the mage's carefree laughter resounded across the camp as if all was right in the world.

 _What happened to hating work?_ The archer fought against the smile threatening to tug at her lips as Lavellan yelped when she was suddenly ambushed and doggy piled. "Aye no more cheating I got it, mercy!" The pathetic way the woman wheezed and gasped for some semblance of air made Sera snicker despite trying to put up a cold front. As the children worked together in seamless synchrony to flatten what was left of the _arse-mouth_ mage, she slung her pack off her shoulders and searched inside for the bag of cookies she asked the cooks in the kitchen to bake quickly before she left Skyhold. The cookies alone never ceased to remind her of the stupid time when she had blurted out her question about baking with Lavellan, but gratefully didn't spill the reasons why.

 _ **You want to bake…? We could always bake in bed if you know what I mean.**_

 _Shut up Syl,_ Sera remembered feeling absolutely stupid for even asking. The incredulous look the woman gave her was positively infuriating, but she'd been surprised when Sylvira rubbed the back of her neck and mumbled her answer then laughed nervously after.

 _ **Well I mean, we could, if you don't mind being poisoned after. You know my cooking's dangerous. But... Anything sounds fun with you.**_

 _We never got to try,_ the archer pulled out the bag and gave it a slight shake to earn the children's attention, grinning when she untied the knot and revealed the goodies inside. Within seconds the kids clambered off the half-flattened mage and surrounded her, the youngest ones of the group didn't shy away and immediately plucked a couple of cookies before the rest followed suit. Lavellan groaned and Sera chuckled when she heard the whisper of disbelief, "I'm actually alive…?"

"Your welcome," she took a cookie for herself and the woman then strode over, kneeling and promptly shoving the baked good inside Sylvira's mouth. The citron eyes honed in on hers in skepticism, "Just… Shut it and eat before I change my mind ye daft tit." The mage bit down and as she chewed her eyes lit up and danced with playful mischief, _I know that look better than anyone,_ "Seriously?" Sera snickered, "You just never stop, perv." _Probably somethin' to do with eating._

"I didn't even say anything," Lavellan muffled when the rogue stuffed the cookie in more, she sat up and had a serious look after she finished eating, "Does that mean you're staying?" Sera shifted her gaze, _I don't friggin' know yet._ "Sera..." The archer sighed and raked her head through her hair, when she looked up to blurt 'no' she froze at the way Sylvira looked at her until suddenly it had changed, _what… Was that?_ "Stay," the dalish woman reached over and tentatively squeezed her hand, she glanced off at the excited kids and murmured, "If not for me… Then for them. The both of us know what slavery is like all too well," she rose and extended her hand as she grinned cheekily, "No bluff, no empty words. I promise you won't regret it."

"Heh," _you always make it really hard to say no._ "Fine." _Why do I have a bad feeling?_ Sera took the mage's offer and grabbed her hand, she was pulled up a little too forcefully and crashed into Lavellan, "Oi!" As soon as she felt the other arm slide along the small of her back, she squeezed her hand up between them and laughed when she felt the soft lips collide with her palm. The dalish woman groaned yet the citron gleamed with glee, "You shouldn't be doin' shi-stuff like that in fronta kiddos y'know."

"Can we go back to the cabin then?" Sylvira laughed when the children made mocking noises and she stepped away, "Okay, okay I got it! Yeesh, tough crowd. Anyways," she looked at Sera, "Do you know when reinforcements will come by any chance?"

"Dunno," the rogue shrugged, "Maybe later 'noon? Could be an hour or two."

"Alright!" Lavellan rested her hands on her hips and turned to the kids, "Oh wait," she glanced over her shoulder, "Might wanna take your weapons off if you want to live Lux." _Huh?_ As she worked to take off her belt and satchel she grinned while the kids giggled in excitement, "We have time for one more game… Of tag!" _Is she serious? Why the heck would I need-_ "You know the rules, no rules! Sera and the great Inquisitor against all of you! Now count to ten!"

"WHAT?! Hey…!" The archer's jaw slackened and she reached to grab Sylvira's shoulder until the woman suddenly spun around, grabbing her wrist and dragging her the opposite direction. "Oi Syl what the heck?!" She heard the children quickly zip through the numbers, "THAT'S CHEATING!" _Shit!_ She quickly worked on the strap of her quiver with her free hand and abandoned the bow, looking up as the dirt-cloaked blonde hair swayed to and fro… And hitting her in the face. "Leggo loser, yer hair keeps whappin' me!"

"No time," Lavellan jerked her around the corner, "Our lives are on the line, this way!"

"It's just a bunch of kids ya idiot! We've survived wor-" her eyebrows rose in confusion when the mage thumbed over her shoulder, she looked over her own and her eyes widened with fear at the horde gaining on them. _T-they're like…_ She gulped nervously and her feet picked up the pace, "Demons!" The kids cackled evilly and the scariest was the Avaar boy who howled like a wolf, "Syl it's like they-"

"Transformed?! Yeah, they tend to do that when they wanna flatten your ass in a doggy pile!" Sylvira took another corner and let out a hail of curses, the archer's head whipped forward, _oh no… Oh we're so fucked._

 **DEAD END.**

"To the wall Sera, quickly," the mage dragged her, _what the hell does she think she's doing?!_ Lavellan let go of her wrist and pinned her against the wall then glanced over her shoulder, "I'll protect you."

"What?! Idiot don't be stupid, you'll die!"

"But a small price to pay to save you, Sera," Sylvira stated melodramatically as the kids surrounded them and slowly closed in, "Please, forget about me and live on!" As the children tugged on her breeches and wrestled her to the ground, the dalish woman quickly levitated Sera to the cabin roof. Her voice drowned out as the kids quickly piled on her and all that was left to be seen was her arm that wove in between whoever squished her, "GO!"

"Alright," Sera shrugged and waved her hand, "Thanks, later loser!" She snickered when she heard the mage's muffled protests underneath, "What? You told me to forget about you."

"TWAPF PHWAT?!"

"Yup. Cya~ have fun!"

"TCHWAYTOH!"

* * *

"Next time say what you mean then," Sera's eyes sparkled with amusement, the mage sat cross-legged and pouted at what she deemed was the most treacherous treason of them all.

"I can handle being ignored but-" her temple twitched when the archer guffawed with glee.

"Yeah right! Unless yer 'handle' is 'causing a shitstorm'."

"Being forgotten like that's just cruel," if the woman hadn't driven Sera crazy every waking moment, she'd have jumped Sylvira right then and there for the adorable sullen look on her face, _she's like a damn kid herself_. "I'm covered in bruises, don't you have any salves, poultices, **anything**?"

"Nope," the archer was actually starting to feel a little sympathetic for her, "Needle and wire's all I got." Her eyes fell on the small patch of blood seeping through the cotton shirt on the lower back, "C'mon looks like you actually need it too. While they're eating I'll stitch you up in the cabin," she grabbed her pack then offered her hand and helped the grumbling woman up, smirking as Lavellan whispered curses along the way. As soon as they made it inside the mage unwrapped her scarf and tossed it to Sera then slowly worked on her shirt, grunting and huffing along the way. "Seriously? Yer hurting that bad?"

"It's not that it hurts, it's just that my muscles are refusing to cooperate with me," _uh huh, I believe you- not._ "For the past three days I've been constantly flattened like a pancake-ooh~ now that I mention it I could go for them..." Sylvira abandoned the shirt on the ground and turned for her back to face the archer, _shit she wasn't kidding about the bruises._ "When  we get back to Skyhold let's eat some. How bad's it look?"

"Pancakes sound good," Sera eyed the dirty scarf and instead dropped it on top of her pack after she took out her tools, "Yer purple and green all over. The cut itself," her eyes fell on the gash, "Small but it's probably deep, did ya get stabbed or somethin'?"

"You know that can sound so wrong," the mage glanced over her shoulder and grinned when Sera rolled her eyes. "When the kids let me up I saw a jagged rock," she sat down, "Maybe from that?"

"Ouch..." The rogue took her spot behind Lavellan, "Can you lay on your stomach instead? Weird to stitch like this."

"Will I get to lay on my back and be flattened by you after?"

"Shut up and get movin' already perv," Sera chuckled, once the woman got into position she opened her flask and soaked a small cloth with alcohol, disinfecting the wound and glancing at the other bruises every now and then. After she was satisfied she'd cleaned the area thoroughly she thread the wire through the needle, "Alright get ready, gonna stitch now." The mage grunted and casually rested her head on her forearms, as Sera worked she couldn't help but blurt out a question that always nagged her every time she did this, "Don't this hurt?" _I know she wanna show she's tough and fine but usually she already looks like shite by then. Here she don't even look like it's bothering her._

"Pain is like any other emotion, it can be shut off when you need it to." There wasn't even any changes in her tone when the archer pierced the skin and wove the needle through, _well that's handy but…_ For some reason that statement nagged her, and she had the same bad feeling as she had earlier when Sylvira asked her to stay. "Hey, did you bring your matches by any chance? I've been dying for a smoke, wanna sneak one in while the runts don't see." _Okay that's it. She ain't like this with normal kids._

"This is too weird Syl," Sera finished stitching and leaned down to cut the thread with her canines, "Be straight with me, what the hell is going on with you?"

"What? I have a soft spot too," Lavellan rose on her elbows then glanced over at the archer who wore a deadpan expression, "So little faith in me." She chuckled and slowly eased up so as not to tear the stitches, "All this because I haven't smoked in front of tykes? Most people would consider that a good thing."

"Don't even think about tryin' to switch topics or distracting me. I want the truth, quit jerking me around." Sera's eyebrows knitted in worry when the citron eyes hardened and gazed as if trying to burn a hole in the floor, the mage crossed her legs and rested her palms on her knees. "It's alright if it's me… Innit? Why's it so hard for you to open up to me Syl?" The woman seemed conflicted for just a split second before she composed her features, _no matter what I'm only gonna see what she lets me see. There's gotta be a way that'll force her to drop this bullshit._ She sighed and rose when Sylvira remained silent then walked to the door, "You know… If you want me to trust you, yer gonna havta trust me too." She slid the lock shut and turned around, "You like deals, right Syl?" The woman's head snapped up to hers and she grinned smugly, she hooked her hands at the rim of her shirt, "Tell me, and I'll do whatever you want right here. Kiss, frig, whatever, but it's gotta be the truth."

"W...hat…?" Lavellan's eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly when the archer slowly rolled up her shirt and exposed her stomach, _this'll get her blabbing in no time._ "Sera I-" she gulped audibly when Sera swiftly stripped her shirt with ease and sauntered towards the mage, she lowered on her knees then gently pushed Sylvira down by her shoulders and straddled her hips. "You're… Serious?" The rogue lowered and captured her lips with ease, grimacing slightly at the chapped lips but relishing the tastes and oddly enough the outdoorsy scent that clung to her. When she parted she gazed with half-lidded eyes and ignored the thrumming in her own body as she whispered huskily.

"I don't bluff like you do. I want to know, Syl."

 _ **The both of us know what slavery is like all too well.**_

"What did you mean by knowing slavery?" _Jackpot._ The citron eyes widened and shone for briefest of seconds before it was tamed again, _there's pain there. So why not say anything 'bout it?_

"Lux," Lavellan gently pushed her by the shoulders and averted her gaze, "Put your shirt back on." Now it was Sera's turn to stare, dumbfounded and utterly confused that she had actually been turned down after throwing herself at the mage. _Just what is wrong-_ she gritted her teeth and her temper lashed, she sighed frustratedly and retrieved her shirt then angrily yanked it on. She rose and whirled for the door, but before she left the woman muttered quietly, "I'll tell you I just… This topic's a little awkward when I've got a beautiful woman with nothing but a damn bra, you know?" She chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of her neck when the rogue turned to watch her, "And it… Wouldn't feel right without you knowing first."

"What wouldn't feel right?" Sera slowly made way and sat down, her eyes honed in to pick up even the slightest details to ensure it wasn't all some fabrication to throw her off again.

"Kissing and well," Sylvira reluctantly met her gaze, "Touching you."

"Didn't stop ya before."

"It's different now."

"How?"

"Look I ain't good at this emotional shit okay? Just… Do you want to know or not?" The archer nodded, Lavellan sighed frustratedly and raked her hand through her hair but her lips remained pursed. She visibly struggled when her mouth opened and closed, small utterances escaped until she'd promptly shut up.

"Syl just what the fuck is so hard for you to-"

"I'm a failure." _What, that's it?_ _A_ _nd what's that got to do with slaves?_ Sera couldn't find it in her to goad or tease, clearly the word carried immense weight for the mage and she waited patiently for an explanation. The atmosphere grew thick with tension and Sylvira exhaled irritatedly, "This is useless. Let's go back to-"

"Quit running and spit it out."

"Shouldn't this shit be done oh I don't know... Naturally? I could just make up anything."

"You'll never tell me if I don't push. I don't know ya like I thought I did Syl," the archer leaned forward until their lips were but an inch away, "But I can still smell the shit in your breath when yer spewing out crap."

"Look. I'll only say it one more time," Lavellan rose abruptly and snatched her scarf then shoved her hands in her pockets as she swiftly strode for the door, "I like you because you don't give a fuck about the past." She glanced over her shoulder and emphasized each word with a warning tone, her eyes hardened and dull, " **Keep. It. That. Way.** " The door slammed shut when the mage left and Sera sighed as she sat back, _she don't like people close to her if she don't allow it,_ her eyes lingered on the tools and the blood-stained cloth, _she even turned down what she's always been chasing._

 _ **It's different now.**_

Everything changed within a matter of minutes and she couldn't wrap her mind around it, her stomach churned with nothing but dread and frustration at the thought that she was still no closer to Sylvira than another wench. _And now she_ _…_ She looked back at the door and sighed.

 _Pushed me farther away._

* * *

"Big Sis!" Lavellan was instantly cast on cloud nine and she had a sloppy grin with a dreamy look, _exactly what I needed when I needed it, Uvun's the next Herald._ "Look!" She was snapped out of her reverie from Uvun's frightened tone and followed to where the little elven girl was pointing, in the distance she could see the Inquisition banner and troops coming towards them from the North.

"FINALLY. Those are the good guys Uvun," Sylvira turned to the rest of the kids with a bright grin and hands on her hips, "Get ready for a long and boring trip kiddos, it's time to go home!" She ran to the North gate and opened it up, immediately slipping into an authoritative role and dishing out orders like bread. Within minutes the troops that filtered in the large camp were strategically organized and thus potential chaos curbed, the children huddling close together for fear of all the action they had trouble wrapping their minds around. Lavellan walked over to one of the soldiers steering a wagon, "There is one more wagon that I left at the South gate, have someone retrieve and use that as well. We have thirteen kids, ensure that it is all female riders." _They'll hopefully feel more comfortable with women anyways,_ the soldier saluted then set off to pass on the orders and the mage turned around to face the kids. Her eyes softened when she saw Sera kneeling down and comforting the crying four year old, she caught herself and fixed her expression as she turned to the troops, _I have to take care of business._

It had taken nearly an hour to prepare everything before the children could begin boarding the wagons and she grit her teeth at the looks of fear, _feelings are so bothersome. These runts are still afraid,_ "Come on, come on," she looked at Uvun, "You're the leader. Convince them this is okay." She ignored Sera's quiet mutter, _in case you didn't notice, those kids trust her more than me. So no, it's not my job._ She raked her hand through her hair and let out a tired sigh when Uvun seemed to waver, she knelt down and patted the girl's dirt-cloaked blonde hair and grinned reassuringly, "We're going back to Skyhold. After that, I will personally see to it that each one of you is returned to your homes."

"I..." _Huh?_ Sylvira tilted her head in confusion at the child's small voice, "Don't have a home anymore." _What?_ Uvun looked up, her eyes shone bright with unshed tears, "Mamae, Babae, everyone in my clan..." The mage could only think of one thing.

 _ **Fuck my life.**_

Swiftly taking the young girl in her arms and lifting her up, she cringed when Uvun buried her face in the crook of her neck and shoulder then began to wail in the scarf. _Dirt, spit, snot, what's next?_ She sighed and held one arm under the elven girl's rear-end as the other smoothed along the small of her back, _this is going to be troublesome._ She glanced at the horde of frightened children and the next best inspiring leaders, "Börisk, take the ones that you **won't** fight with on one wagon, and Grâce take the youngest ones with you. Uvun and I will take whoever is left." She chuckled when the avaar boy took most of the girls, _he'll challenge all of the males and protect all of the females, what a charmer._ They did as told with a little bit of hesitance, and Lavellan adjusted her grip on Uvun when the elven girl began to slump in her hold, _shit she's getting really heavy._ "Hey Uvun," a slight shake but no response, she glanced down but couldn't see anything except hair, _what the heck?_

"She's asleep," Sera softly called out behind her, _ugh,_ _just perfect_ _. Exactly what I needed._ The mage glanced over her shoulder and nodded, purposefully ignoring everything that transpired in the cabin as she turned to face Sera. "Are you going on the wagon with 'em?"

"Yeah, Uvun's in no shape to keep them calm if she isn't herself. _Tch_ ," she frowned, "And here I was hoping I could finally grab a smoke and relax on the way back. Ah well!" She turned for the wagons and watched the children slowly board while her own group waited for her, "So?" She couldn't look at the archer, "Have you made up your mind? Are you staying or quitting?" Sera let out a long sigh, the dalish woman's shoulders sagged and her crestfallen expression lasted all but a second, _I know what that sigh means_. She quickly recovered and cut off the emotions before they flourished, "I see. It's been fun Red Jenny," she forced a smile as she glanced over her shoulder, "Mi'nas'sal'inan." She took a deep breath and held her head up as she walked to her group of three, grinning brightly, "Oi, oi what's with the long faces runts? C'mon up you go I wanna go home already, it's like a castle and it's way~ cooler than this place!" The kids instantly brightened up at that and had dreamy looks, she chuckled as they bickered about who was climbing on the wagon first. Adjusting the sleeping child in her arms she carefully climbed up and took her seat near the end, _fuck why's Uvun gotta be so damn heavy?_ She shifted until the elven girl's legs swung across and sat on her lap, the side of her head resting under Lavellan's chin.

Barking out commands the troops re-organized themselves and she leaned back in her seat, she couldn't even force herself to look at Sera as the wagons began to move and slowly everyone filtered out of the camp. A feeling of uneasiness and dread sat at the pit of her stomach and her eyebrows furrowed together, she was lost in her thoughts and hadn't even noticed the three hyper boys bickering about something she couldn't care to bother with in the first place. _Too close. She_ _just_ _got too damn close again._

 _ **I don't know ya like I thought I did Syl.**_

 _And now you never will._ _What's the point of drudging up something useless like_ _that __anyways_ _?_ She glanced down at the sleeping child resting against her and noticed one of the boys had also borrowed her lap to use as a pillow, _you'd give me the same look as you did the kids if you knew. Screw that._ Eventually she relaxed and slumped in her seat a little, her head lulled back and she stared at the sky filled to the brim with different shapes of clouds. She could vaguely hear the children from the other two wagons ahead of her playing I spy or singing songs then glanced at the boys in her own, all of them fast asleep from boredom. Her eyes fluttered closed, _should get some shut-eye myself_ _while I still can._ As she drifted off into the darkness, images of Sera flashed through her mind and her heart constricted painfully as regret filled her. _Why didn't I just tell her?_ A sad sigh escaped her lips and she inhaled deeply, focusing on the crisp air filling her lungs. The regret gnawed on the edges of her slumbering consciousness and she welcomed sleep with open arms, tuning out the mocking whispers as she slipped away.

 _Fuckin' pride._


	7. Tourniquet

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** _Explanation for last chapter's title "Hedgehog's Dilemma" as well as Syl's character._ Thanks for asking the question Derp! The title suggests what sort of relationship Syl will have with Sera. It's not at all got to do with needing warmth and painful spikes keeping each other apart, but rather the 'symbolic' aspect of it in regards to intimacy. Though Syl-who may not admit it-subconsciously seeks to become closer to Sera, her past and the pride she puts up as a 'front' prevents her from achieving this and as such keeps Sera's at arms length. She is afraid of becoming close to people for fear of what they will see and is her [natural] defense mechanism so she won't be hurt, therefore "real" intimacy is rather difficult for her. It's been subtly hinted that she has a superiority complex when she compares herself to Uvun (and this is further explored in this chapter). The way she turns off her emotions like a tourniquet (again her defense mechanism) also prevents her from progressing or growing, thus why her and Sera go back and forth in regards to their relationship. When Sera is too close, she runs away or pushes her away. When she slips up, she plays it off like a mistake, a "slip of the tongue", or pisses Sera off. She denies what she really wants due to this fear, but won't admit that she is scared (it's just a big bag of problems with Syl :P)

 **Warning:** There is quite a bit of angst in this chapter (so much so that my girlfriend burst in tears and I felt like a really huge dick writing this too). She imagines these things quite easily and it also hits close to home for the both of us so it may not be AS bad to the point you'll burst into tears yourself, but the warning is there nonetheless and it starts roughly around the middle of the chapter (when Sylvira is arguing with our 'mystery' woman). Quite a few hints dropped off as to who the woman is, can you figure out who she is :P?

 **Vocabulary**

 _[Tevene] Incaensor:_ Means a dangerous substance, like raw lyrium or natron salts. Slang for a magic-using slave _—_ something dangerous but useful if controlled.

 _[Alamarri]_ _Ik jom sairig:_ I am full of sorrow (I'm sorry)

 _[Sylvira Calendar] Freakday:_ Aka Friday, the rest of the days will be revealed in due time ;)

 _[Elvhen] Vunlea:_ Sunshine

* * *

 **Tourniquet**

* * *

 _That's it huh._ Sera chewed on her bottom lip in frustration, _just like that, she was back to 'Red Jenny'._ Some part of her screamed that everything was incredibly wrong as she watched the soldiers organize into their formations after they loaded the kids, _all of this is fucked up, everything_. As the wagons pulled away she scoffed and spun on her heel, heading back inside the cabin to discard whatever she couldn't re-use anymore and packing up her tools. She sat on her haunches and glared at the floor, emotion and after emotion crashed down on her in an overwhelming tide and her anger nearly smothered the oxygen out of the air.

"Fuck!" She slammed her fist in the wooden board and cringed at pain radiating along her knuckles, _this is fucking bullshit. All because of a stupid wench, it's that fucking wench's fault! Gonna plonk her first, then Syl._ Her jaw clenched and her teeth grind loudly, _gonna havta be real careful now that Red's gonna be watching me close._ Before gathering the rest of her things and setting off to nowhere in particular, _since I have no fuckin' clue where I wanna go,_ she searched her pack and pulled out the set of cards. _This'll help me blow off some steam,_ she shuffled the deck and picked out five cards, her thoughts wandering as she idly changed her hand until she found something suitable. _This is…_

 **Really. Fucking. Boring.**

"Ugh stupid, course it's boring when yer playing by yourself." Images of the dalish woman slamming down her cards and abruptly rising from the tavern table in disbelief bounced along in her mind, her lips curled into a smug grin. _No matter how many times she lost, she could never believe that she did. Fuckin' cocky dumbass._ Her lips curled in a fond smile as her thoughts drifted back to Haven, when the two women decided to celebrate their victory of recruiting the templars with good old fashioned drinking, smoking, and a game of Wicked Grace in Flissa's tavern.

"Getting rowdy in here," Sylvira commented idly and moved the pipe from one corner of her mouth to the other as she reached to change her cards. "Wanna come over to my cabin? And maybe come over and over?" The archer rolled her eyes and smirked in triumph as she laid down her cards, three angels and two serpents.

"Don'tcha like crowds? More people to use yer crappy pickup lines and all."

"Tonight I just want to spend quality time with you Lath," Lavellan grinned smugly and set down her hand of five knights, "Your clothes would make for a nice decorative carpet on my bedroom floor. Consider you coming my reward for winning the round."

Sera whistled, "Good hand," she was about to decline the offer until the bard suddenly started playing that dreaded, _creepy-as-fuck_ song about her, "Ugh… Seriously? Fuck this yeah let's go." She laughed when the woman shot up from the table and cheered, ordering another bottle from Flissa before they set off on their way. Their idle conversation after that was a little fuzzy, but she'd never forget the intoxicating kiss they shared as soon as they stepped inside the cabin. She'd had but a few seconds and the warning of the mugs dropping on the floor before Lavellan trapped her against the door, the persuasive mouth clamped over hers and greedy hands smoothing along her waist. The woman towered over her and the height difference made her neck cramp, she tugged on the scarf to force Sylvira to bend forward a little. She noticed the amused glint in the citron eyes, "Too fucking tall, it's uncomfy kissing like that."

"Your clothes are making me uncomfy," the mage retorted, "Take them off?"

"Nice try," Sera smirked, "Needa work a little harder than that." Her eyes narrowed, "Especially since you do this with everyone."

"Oh?" Lavellan rested her palm beside the archer's head and hovered inches away as she looked down, one of the things Sera absolutely hated and the woman knew it. "And you have proof of this I presume?"

"Did ya think I didn't see the chick that left this cabin before we went for yer helm polishers?"

"She came to fix something for me."

"Uh huh. The bed? She sure looked mighty happy when she left."

"Is that **jealousy** I hear?" The mage grinned smugly, "As a matter of fact she did fix my bed, and I paid her a compliment or two."

"With your hands?" Anger was rapidly evaporating the mood especially when Sylvira laughed, the woman knew exactly how to push all the right buttons in seconds.

"With my tongue," Lavellan chuckled, "Not in the way you're thinking of, unfortunately for me." She pushed off and picked up the mugs and surprisingly intact bottle, "Are you always this doubtful and suspicious with everyone, or am I a special case?"

"Yeah special with a capital L, Loser," Sera muttered and crossed her arms, her mood soured by the mage's intentional taunting.

"You know if you just gave me a chance, I think I could make you very happy."

"Why? Are you leaving? At least you'd be doing something right for once in your life." The rogue smirked in victory when Sylvira's carefree laughter bounced off the walls of the cabin, she didn't back down when the mage strode towards her and instead lifted her palm to stop the persistent lips from meeting their mark.

"I've been blessed with luck," Lavellan grinned with excitement, "Everything I've ever wanted is right in front of me."

"You're cute," Sera shrugged nonchalantly and matched the woman's devilish grin, "Too bad you're an arsehole." She suppressed the shiver when the mage leaned down and whispered huskily in her ear.

"You like it."

Startled out of her reverie when she heard footsteps nearby, Sera quickly pulled out an arrow and quietly snuck to a dark corner, kneeling and drawing the bowstring. Suddenly there were more frantic footsteps and the creaking of wheels turning, her heart leaped to her throat when she heard someone shout. "Milady Inquisitor! Sister Nightingale has received your message and we are here! The password is..." A slight pause as the soldier coughed to try and rid the amusement in his voice, "Freakday is no pants day!" _That idiot...!_ Sera's eyes widened in realization, _she never asked for a fucking password!_ She shoved her arrow back in her quiver and stormed out of the cabin, her heart racing instantly as she came face to face with only a small handful of Inquisition scouts and two carriages, _we need more_. "Aren't you... The Inquisitor's companion? We were told we would be meeting her here to escort her and a group of children back to Skyhold. Where is she?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Sera grit out and marched to the scouts, "Didn't you see a large group, wagons and all?" Her stomach churned with nausea and she effectively snapped in anger when the man shook his head dumbly, "Fuck!" She threw her pack on the ground and stomped on it, _what the hell is wrong with her?! That fucking dumbass got..._

* * *

 _Kidnapped again,_ Sylvira let out a tired sigh as she glanced down at the enchanted iron cuffs snapped on each wrist that dispelled her magic to prevent her from casting any spells, the blurry vision, the slight ringing in her ears and the headaches were getting on her nerves. _What is with people always wanting to capture me? I can't go anywhere without being tied up,_ she grumbled and pouted, _and worst of all it's not for the right reason, as usual. If I'm lucky maybe I'll get to play with a woman this time._ She leaned back into the wall and stared blankly at the ceiling, reflecting on her amateurish mistakes all the while inspecting the environment for something she could use. She squashed the concerns over the children no longer with her and remained composed, _I have to stay calm. It's because I let useless feelings cloud my mind that got me here in the first place,_ thus far the dim and barren room proved to have nothing useful, "Well that's annoying. Not even a bucket for me to piss in, stingy bastards."

 _Gotta hand it to them, a clever trap though. Careless mistake on my part for having forgotten about the stupid password,_ she rose from her seat and walked to the door to peek through the small window of metal bars, "Hey! Are you guys trying to bore me to death?!" She glared at the man beyond the door who stood guard, clad in typical Venatori armor and a metal bucket on his head as a sorry excuse for a helmet. "Where are the kids?" No response, "Where are we?" Silence, "What do you intend to do with me?" Still nothing, her temper teetered on the edge, "At least say hello?" The Venatori zealot didn't even move a muscle and just stood there, "Asshole! Quit ignoring me dammit! Damn this is how you know you lot are evil bastards if you won't even talk, you brain dead or something? Does Coryphspit eat brains?"

"Corypheus." _Ooh struck a nerve did I?_

"What was that? Coryphenus?"

"Cor-ih-fee-us."

"Cor-ih-fee-lus." Lavellan smirked in victory when the zealot shifted in his spot and sighed, but no longer said anything. "Jeez, party pooper. Can we play some cards or something to pass the time? Stakes are clothes." Her muscles shivered suddenly and she inwardly groaned, _that's not a good sign for me._ "Oi, can I go to the bathroom? I needa piss." The guard suddenly moved forward and she shifted back, repressing the grin of victory, _perfect! Didn't think he'd fall for it!_ Her eyes trailed as the zealot removed the rust bucket off his head and placed it on the ground, he turned around and had a deadpan expression.

"She warned us about you," _who's 'she'?_ "Oldest trick in the book."

"Ah~" Sylvira sighed theatrically as she walked over to the helmet, "A bucket then, huh?" As she squatted over with her back facing the zealot, she smirked in triumph at the sharp inhale and stuttering.

"You're... Serious?!"

"Yeah?" She glanced over her shoulder as she undid her belt, "What kinda weird shit are you into, perv? You like watching women take a leak?" The man spun around and she chuckled at the red ears, swiftly running up behind him and swinging her leg as hard as she could to kick under the man's groin. He yelped and doubled over immediately as his hands shot out to protect what little was left, "Never underestimate the old tricks!" _Damn he's got no weapon, can't finish him off._ Lavellan abandoned her belt, quickly making a break from the cell and running down the narrow hallway. _'She warned us', just who did he mean by that?_ She peeped through the small windows of metal bars with every door passed, every cell had been empty. _Where are the damn kids?_ As she continued her frantic search she ran through a checklist in her mind of possible people with grudges, the list grew exponentially long and she groaned, _I've pissed off a lot of people, but would they seriously team up with the Venatori just to get back at me?_ The longer she ran, the worse her vision and the ringing in her ears got, and the longer she thought the worse the headache got, _this is worse than the damn cuffs_. Her eyes and left arm tingled and ached, she suppressed a sigh when she came at a fork, _they probably put the children wherever anti-magic wards are set up. In that case..._ She glanced down the right hallway and started walking down, sweat steadily trickling from her forehead when the tingles gradually grew stronger, _my asshole detector is tingling!_

"Oi, kiddos! Where the hell are ya?! Talk to me!" _If they've so much laid a finger on them I'll fuck them up so bad it'll make Maferath look like a fucking saint._ She slowed down and took heavy gulps of air, grabbing her left arm as she forced one foot ahead of the other, _this doesn't feel like the templars,_ she gritted her teeth, _whoever this belongs to they're incredibly powerful, I've got no chance against them._ The constant ringing made it difficult to discern if the children actually heard and replied back, she glanced over her shoulder to check if the guard followed her, _still safe_. When she reached the end of the hallway she cursed, _last door, it's radiating strongest here._ Instead of peering through the window she grabbed the handle and pulled with what little strength she had, her eyes widening as she saw a lone robed woman stand in front of the group of frightened children. _This feeling... Why is it so familiar?_ She gulped and swallowed the lump of nervousness as she forced a reassuring grin, "Hey runts. Big Sis is here, everything'll be okay now alright?" Her heart raced as the woman turned around and realization struck her, _I'm so fucked. I am so so_ _so_ _fucked!_ The robed woman pulled down her hood, her crooked teeth splayed in a familiar smile. _This isn't who I meant when I asked for luck!_

"We meet again, Incaensor. How are you, old friend?"

* * *

"Here!" The Inquisition scout shouted, "They didn't cover their tracks, dumb bastards." _They were in a rush,_ "Trail leads this way!" Sera dug her heels into the horse and tensed on the reins, galloping with the other scouts, _that fucking dumbass,_ she gritted her teeth, _always getting caught, if she dies it's all over._ She didn't even want to think what would happen if Sylvira wasn't around, _who'd stop Coryphenus?_ Her heart constricted painfully and her eyebrows furrowed, _who'd play games with me?_ She shook her head, _one last time I'm pulling her arse outta the fire, already made up my mind that I'm quitting._ They cut through a heavily forested area and dread welled up within her, the uneasiness growing with every thundering step as the scouts shouted there were fresh imprints in the soil.

"Hey! You sent a bird right?!" Sera shouted as loudly as she could to the scouts ahead of her, they suddenly slowed down and her heart leaped to her throat when they cleared the area. "What... The fuck...?"

"I did," the scout murmured as his eyes trailed across the expansive field littered with runes, "Though it seems I'll need to send another and request a battalion of templars..." At the far end stood a large fortress and the archer gritted her teeth.

"Fuck that. Send for the whole fucking army. It's a rescue mission now, operation 'save the fucking dumbass.'" The scouts nodded and set to work immediately, sketching out a quick map along with what the fortress looked like and the approximate location. _If only you didn't flirt with that fucking wench,_ Sera's eyebrows furrowed in anger, _you owe me big time for this Syl. Told you I specialize in saving yer arse._ "How much time until Shadows of Birds gets that?"

"Sister Nightingale you mean?" The archer nodded, "These birds are specially trained to-"

"I don't give a fuck about that!" Sera snapped out of frustration, "This ain't the fucking time to brag, how long until we can get her out of there?!"

"My apologies milady," _fuck I'm gonna punch this guy in the face soon,_ "The bird should arrive within an hour, if all goes well and troops are mobilized quickly... They could make it here tonight or tomorrow morning."

"That ain't fast enough, she could be dead by then!" The archer scanned the field of runes, "No way to go through that... Ain't there another way we can take? Be sneaky or whatever?"

"With all due respect infiltrating the fortress is an irrational plan and may very well get us killed instead." Sera glared at the scout and bit her lip, _Syl's the big fat leader but she don't exactly have loyalty for people to lay down their friggin' lives. Why would they? They know she wouldn't do the same for them._ "It'd be a waste of effort and life." _But the kids..._ Memories of how Lavellan interacted with the kids, the expressions she made, the protective way she watched them, _she's doing all she can to keep them safe, even if it's 'irrational'. And it's coz of the kids she's being more stupid than usual._

"Fine. I'm going in by myself," she huffed stubbornly, she hopped off the horse and tossed the reata to the scout, "Fucking selfish pricks, the lot of you. Yeah maybe she'd be an ass and leave you to fend for yourself if you got caught," she searched through the pack on the horse and pulled out her satchel of tools, "But right now she's fighting for kids, not just for herself."

"There's no other way inside that fortress, at least not until we can get a closer look." The scout explained defensively, "It's not about selfishness, even the Inquisitor would say this is a reckless plan!" _I know that!_ Sera ignored his ranting and turned around then started walking to the field but kept her distance from the glowing glyphs engraved in the ground, her stomach churning with nausea and fear, _too much fucking magic._ "You're really going to go by yourself, no matter what?" Her eyes spotted a dip on the far left of the landscape and how the borders of trees seemed farther than they ought to have been, _is there a cliff or hill there?_

"Yep," Sera glanced over her shoulder and grinned evilly, "I forgot to kick her ass before I left."

* * *

"You know as well as I do that this is the only way, when the Imperium's corruption is burned to dust the slaves will walk free in the light. I will see it done!"

"Aye you're right," Sylvira retorted heatedly, "Let's do it the dumbest way possible because it's easier for you!" Both women glared at each other, faces mere inches away and the dalish woman snarled, "Fuck!" She shoved her hands in her pockets and started kicking the wall with the heel of her foot, "You've become even more stupid since then!" Her hand snapped out of her pocket and she flipped up her middle finger, no longer caring of the children seeing it all, "This is my asshole antenna, Cally, you're coming in loud and clear."

"And you've become more despicable with that sarcastic nonsense of yours, can't you see-"

"Sarcasm falls out of my mouth just like stupidity falls out of yours," the mage spat, "And turn off that shit already, you're giving me a damn headache! You got the cuffs anyways," she sighed dejectedly as the woman eyed her skeptically, slowly but surely her vision became clearer and the ringing ebbed away, "Finally." With the sole of her foot thoroughly aching she stopped kicking the wall and stood normally, "Now when the hell can I leave? I'm not joining your stupid whatever and that's final, besides your boss will just kill me if he sees me lurking 'round brothels with you. If your religion or beliefs or whatever the hell it is you're fighting for is worth killing for, then please by all means I implore you to start with yourself. You're fighting over who will be the better imaginary friend and you're just being manipulated by an ugly ass guy with rocks for brains but you're too damn **stupid** to see it. Marius was way better than this deformed freak." She glanced over her shoulder and the confused and frightened children, "Yeah she's another one that shows she cares in a  really weird way."

The woman sighed and rubbed her temples, "You're just as insufferably vulgar and stubborn as when we first met."

"I'm not stubborn, I'm just always right," Lavellan grinned arrogantly, "If your business is with me at least let the kids go. Don't even think about taking them either, they have families to go back to."

"You sure are confident for someone who holds no power nor the position to make demands." The woman smirked and outstretched her palm, levitating Sylvira in the air, _shit not good!_ "When the new world comes, I'll be sure to make you my trusted servant." The mage helplessly dangled in the air and her left arm was gripped by the invisible force, she yelped as she felt it slowly crushed, "I'm sure I'll find  some use for a broken little toy after all."

"F-fuck you!" Lavellan groaned as another wave of pain shot through with her muscles compressing, "When I get out of here, I swear I'll kick your ass!"

"A weak failure like you dare to challenge me? If we were to have a magic duel, there would be nothing but ashes left of your body. I don't know what Erasthenes saw in you, when I was clearly the stronger one!" _That's what... This is all about? The bastard did nothing but experiments!_ The mage's arm no longer felt like it was being crushed and the pressure dissipated, she glanced down past the haze of pain and her eyes widened with fear when the woman smiled sadistically. "I just had a nice idea, how about I brand that arm of yours with my magic? Everyone will know you belong to me," the sinister smile grew, "That is unless you erase it with your own power. If you had any, anyways." Sylvira's heart leaped to her throat as she suddenly felt something slowly carved into her left palm, her lips parted in hoarse screams at the agony she couldn't shut out.

 _ **It's engraved in your very body.**_

It felt as though a rusted knife dragged along her flesh, her only blessing had been that it was a simple pattern: the hooded ferryman. After what felt like an eternity she'd been released and crashed down on the ground, her ears rang loudly as if war horns and bells were going off in her head and she rolled to her side, cradling her hand and fighting for composure. "Mine to play with, now you belong to me," _I belong to nobody anymore, especially not you hypocrite._ The dalish woman glanced up at the frightened children and tried to grin reassuringly, they'd been frozen stiff and she vaguely heard their cries as the ringing ebbed away. Uvun had been the only one brave enough to hold her gaze and keep the tears back, _courageous, unlike me._

"The kids," the mage murmured tiredly and cradled her hand closer to her chest as she suppressed the pained whimpers, "Let them go. They shouldn't see things like this, they've been tainted enough."

"Afraid everyone will see you for what you are?" Lavellan gritted her teeth when the woman laughed cruelly, she desperately tried to bury the shame and subconsciously curled into a ball. "Pathetic, after all these years you're still the same weak child. Insignificant, you posture and play pretend yet accomplish nothing. This is the difference between us Incaensor," the word hit close to home and cut daggers in her facade, "Rot here and reflect on who is truly the stupid one here. You will never stand a chance against us."

"I've reflected, and my epiphany told me you're the stupid one," she spat at the woman's feet, "You're blinded by that stupid fairy tale dream of yours to see Corypheus is tricking you," Sylvira chuckled until it erupted in full out mocking laughter, her eyes glazed like that of a rabid wounded animal and the woman stared at her with pity before turning to leave. She calmed instantly when realization struck her, "Wait, the kids...!"

"Will rot with you," the woman's voice was void of emotion, "It's because of you they'll die."

"You fucking heartless bitch!" The cell door opened and revealed two of the former Inquisition soldiers that were part of the trap to capture her and the children, _betrayed. How foolish of me when I've always known, trust nobody but yourself. It's been the only rule that's kept me alive all these years_. Lavellan has mistaken them for Venatori spies until they revealed they defected when they were captured and abandoned to rot, knowing it was the mage's command not to send reinforcements or do anything to rescue them.

"Karma's a bitch ain't it? _Your Worship,_ " one of the men sneered and respectfully bowed to the robed woman, "Your orders, My Lady?"

"Do as you like with them, but leave her alive. Death would be mercy for her." _This is it._ Frustration and shame welled up within Sylvira as she watched the woman she once knew walk away, _you've changed for the worst._ The two men cracked their knuckles and cackled with sadistic delight, their mocking insults all but drowned by the children crying. _It's my fault._ One by one her emotions shut off as a defense to protect herself, her mind too numb to register the pain of the fists driven into her gut, the sting of the smacks across her face, the agony of the intricate carving in her palm as proof of her failure. _I deserve it._ She'd been forced to kneel when one of the soldier's yanked her by her hair, goading her for being useless and weak. _Punishment, karma from my sins have finally caught up to me._

 _ **Failure.**_

"What's wrong _Your Worship?_ No more jokes? Come on," the second man pushed her from behind and she winced when her palms reflexively broke her fall, "This isn't any fun if you aren't hurting or crying. There's got to be **something** that gets you going," the men grinned suggestively, she heard the clangs of their belt buckles being undone and the kids crying louder than ever before, _I don't care. It's nothing new that hasn't been done before_. A boy shouted in the midst of the black emptiness swallowing her and she tilted her head to look up, her eyes widened at the familiar disheveled hair belonging to Börisk. The young avaar man had his arms outstretched, and she immediately snapped out of her reverie when she realized he had been shouting at the two men. _Stop…_ She'd been too weak and battered to do anything, her muscles refused to cooperate with her and her mouth parted in a silent scream when Börisk fearlessly charged to attack the soldiers. They stood and laughed as the young boy kicked at their legs, his attacks futile and ineffective. "Hey brat!" The one man sneered cockily and rose his fist, "This is how you punch!"

"Stop!" Sylvira choked out weakly, "Leave him, do whatever you want with me! Sharpen your fucking daggers, I'll tell you all my sins and repent for every single one of them if I have to. But leave him alone, he's just a kid!" Her arms nearly buckled with relief when the man's arm fell to his side and the child turned to her with tears in his eyes. "Börisk, go back to the-" she'd cut off when the second soldier unsheathed his mace and drove it at the top of the avaar boy's skull, the blood spluttered and shot forth on the mage.

 _ **It's because of you they died!**_

Lavellan hastily scrambled on her hands and knees to catch Börisk as he slumped forward, the light in his eyes snuffed out and turned hollow. The ringing in her ears grew exponentially louder, overwhelming nausea assaulted her senses and she barely heard the children shrieking in horror as the ruthless soldiers laughed cruelly. She cradled the lifeless corpse in her hands and stared in shock, she'd felt incredibly lightheaded and was sure she'd pass out any second from the dizziness. The thick haze of red blinded her, her eyes and left arm suddenly ached immensely and without realizing it her body had been calling on magical power. She felt the enchanted cuffs pulse until the energy was immediately sapped from her, the blood leaked from her nostril and she could do nothing but just gaze at the boy.

Oddly enough she hadn't felt anything, no anger, no sadness, nothing. _Even pain would be better than this emptiness,_ she eventually thought when the shock dissipated and sanity gradually returned. "All the people you have ordered to their deaths without giving a single fuck," the one soldier spat vehemently, "And one brat-from savage barbarians-killed in front of you is all it takes? Do you know how many died in Fallow Mire when you didn't even bother to go?" The man continued to rant and Sylvira tuned out his voice, _it's just like the last time._ She smoothed her hand over Börisk's eyelids and slid them shut, she glanced down at her blood-stained scarf and the dam broke within her. She hugged the boy's body and sobbed uncontrollably.

"Ik jom sairig," she rasped out and chanted, "Ik jom sairig, please forgive me." She'd been lost in her own world with nothing but guilt and bitter remorse as her companions, "I'm so sorry Börisk." Her voice cracked and she could see nothing beyond the thick mist of tears, _why did you do it?_ Her jaw clenched tightly and saliva trickled out the corner of her mouth from the harsh crying, snot laced with traces of blood poured down her nose. _Your people would have taught you that I deserved every inch of that beating,_ she squeezed tighter and had been completely oblivious to the arms wrapped around her own waist, the pressure pressed to her back trying to pull her away. "I'm so sorry," _it was my fault, my failure, my mistake to pay. Not yours, why the fuck would you do that you damn… Stupid kid! Stupid like Sera!_ She gritted her teeth until pain shot out in her jaw and ragged shallow breaths echoed in her ears, her lungs burned for air and her throat parched, _no matter what I do, I'll always be weak._

Absorbed and drowned by the emotions she had no control of, no practice in dealing with, she descended further and further in the pit of despair. _I can't even get revenge, I can't do anything,_ whispers she often ignored or fought off in her dreams tugged at the edges of her consciousness, _perhaps I should let one in? Be possessed?_ She chuckled dryly and muttered under her breath, "Maybe as an abomination I'll actually do something right for once in my life." At that, her vision turned pitch-black and darkness swallowed her mind.

* * *

Heart racing erratically and tears stinging her eyes, Sera gently pulled the mage away from the dead boy. She'd reacted without thinking and fear guided her hand, she knocked out Sylvira when she heard the dreaded whisper. _What the fuck is wrong with you?_ She laid the dalish woman on the ground, _you always tell me not to be stupid, what the fuck is this huh?_ She glanced over her shoulder at the three scouts that came with her, everybody disguised in Venatori attire from the zealots they killed when they found and infiltrated an underground sewage system that lead to the fortress. "We need to get out of here before more come," her eyebrows knitted with worry at the children that had wailed the entire time, _they'll attract the whole fucking base._

"At this rate we'll be discovered," the lead scout spoke hushed, _no really? Thanks for pointing out the obvious genius._ "We need to calm the kids first."

 _Yeah, how?_ _We're dressed like the fucking enemy and they were betrayed by the people who are s'posto be the fucking good guys._ Sera spat on the corpses of the two former Inquisition troops riddled with arrows, she glanced at the unconscious mage and frowned at all the blood and bruises, _it ain't 'bout how much she's got, it's more like what's left of her._ She gingerly hooked her arms under Lavellan's knees and neck then lifted the woman with ease, she looked at Uvun, "I need you to trust me and I need your help." As expected the elven child glared skeptically at her, her fists clenched in an attempt to look brave despite the obvious quivering of fear. "Look kid, unlike the other arseholes I actually care about… Big Sis..." _Still think that's such a lame nickname,_ "You know it. You saw it. I'll ask ya the same thing she did, what are your instincts telling you?" She chewed her lip in nervousness when Uvun thought about it and visibly struggled with the decision, _there's no fucking time._ "She needs help right now, and we need to get out of here. Yer stuck here if you don't follow us so this chance now is all you've got." The scouts behind her ushered her to hurry and she cast a glare over her shoulder to shut them up, when she looked back she'd been surprised to see the four year old boy cautiously approach her.

Uvun hesitantly nodded and turned around to face the rest of the children, "She's right. Big Sis needs us to be brave just like how her and Börisk were, we need to follow Icky-Kisses." _Oi, icky kisses?!_ _That's_ _the nickname they gave me?! It's Syl's fault too, friggin' loser made me look like the perv..._ Sera grumbled and wisely remained silent, turning around to hide her frown and glare at the scouts that tried to stifle their laughter, _these arseholes, this is fucking serious!_ One of the scouts bent over and gently lifted the avaar boy, the remaining two unsheathed their bows and carefully opened the cell door to check the corners for enemies. Uvun and Grâce whispered reassurances to the other children and they had finally stifled their cries, little sniffles every now and then threatened Sera's temper as her heart constricted painfully. _Fuckin' heartless bastards, killing you was being too fucking generous._ She spat again on the corpses of the former Inquisition soldiers before leaving the cell, following the lead scouts as they cautiously wove through the winding halls. She checked behind her every now and then on the children, several had partnered up and held hands with the younger ones with eyes weary and puffed from crying, the older kids had eyes hardened and glossed with restrained anger.

 _Don't blame them. I want to kill every mother fucker in here myself._ She'd carefully observed the scouts that had come along with her, suspicious of them and half expecting a dagger in the back. _Got no choice but to follow,_ she chewed on her lip nervously, _can't trust nobody anymore._ She glanced down and noticed the taut features on Lavellan's face, _bad dream,_ she lowered and softly pressed her lips to her forehead as she blinked away the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. "The dashing rogue's here to save yer arse **again** Syl," she joked halfheartedly, "I better get a bonus share of the coin like last time. Then I'll blow it all off and you can get pissed that I didn't buy you a drink with it." She tried to ignore everything that transpired but her mind had been flooded by the images, _she looked so broken,_ her forehead creased with worry, _what's gonna happen when she wakes up? Never seen her care 'bout anything but these kids and now…_ Her eyes glazed over the dead boy in the other scout's arms, _killed in front of her, and those fuckers_ _laughed_ _. Laughed! Who the fuck laughs after killing a kid?!_

Fortunately they had successfully snuck back to the sewage system without alarming the base, she grimaced at the smell and ignored the children gagging behind her. Thankfully the waste had only been ankle-deep, the first time they used the system to infiltrate the fortress she'd reminisced about the days she'd puke when she had to trek on her hands and knees in crap when a job went wrong. A low groan alerted her and her head snapped down, the mage's face contorted to one of pain and sweat trickled down her forehead only to disappear in the blonde hair laced with crimson strands. _If only we got there a few minutes earlier..._

"Everything will be alright Syl," Sera whispered, "I've got your back. By the way you needa lose weight, yer arse is too fat an' heavy. More for people to kiss though, right?" She eyed the woman's hands resting on her stomach and inspected the cuffs snapped to her wrists, _those things draining her or something? Maybe that's why she couldn't do anything._ After nearly an hour of trekking in waste they had finally reached the exit and everybody inhaled a deep lung full of fresh air, Sera nearly melted in relief when she spotted familiar faces among Inquisition reinforcements up the steep hill. She grinned as she shouted, "What's the password?!"

"Freakday is no pants day!" Bull stated proudly as he flashed a thumbs up, "My favorite day of the week!"

* * *

After Sera-with the elven girl's invaluable help-reassured the children they really were the good guys and trusted companions of 'Big Sis', they had split into groups and the kids were particularly excited about getting to ride in such fancy decorated carriages. Bull and the Inquisition reinforcements got to work with clearing out the Venatori fortress, and it had been a mutual agreement amongst everyone to blow the damn place sky high. The healers did what they could and Sera's stomach churned with nausea when she had seen the carving on the mage's palm, apparently the wavelength of the enormous magical energy, _whatever the fuck that means,_ couldn't be deciphered nor dispelled. Even the enchanted cuffs took some time and considerable brute force to remove them, and the healers put Lavellan under a sleeping spell to ensure her mended wounds would get adequate rest as they rode back to Skyhold.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on who was asked, the woman had yet to awaken prior to the spell and Sera reluctantly informed them of what was whispered before she had been knocked out. _They said she'd have turned into one by now if Syl really allowed it but…_ The archer still couldn't help but feel incredibly uneasy, she watched Sylvira's sleeping face like a hawk as she rested the mage's head to sleep on her thighs. Across from her three children slept away against each other with equally haunted expressions, and Uvun had been on her knees as she draped her upper body over the dalish woman's midriff. Sera let out a tired sigh and leaned back as her head rested along the wall of the carriage, ignoring the little thuds and bumps thanks to the uneven hidden trail they traveled on.

 _What's gonna happen now?_ The tense atmosphere, the sniffles and the mournful whispers over the avaar boy was more than she could handle, and if it was tough for her then... _What is Syl gonna do?_ Her heart constricted painfully and her brittle temper teetered on the edge, the memory of the broken mage cradling the dead boy's body haunted her to no end and the vivid image replayed every time she closed her eyes. The heart wrenching cries echoed within her mind and she just barely remembered brutally killing the traitors as a result of being consumed by pure unbridled rage. It reminded her of a conversation she had with Bull long ago when they first started traveling together when the qunari figured out that she doesn't think when she fights, doesn't care for how much it hurts so long as the enemy was dead. But just thinking of that moment made her wish she left the men alive, and multiple fantasies of exacting painful revenge flourished. "Se..ra…?" The rogue was startled out of her reverie and her head snapped down, she gazed back at dull and empty citron orbs. "What are you doing here?" The suspicion in the hostile tone did not go unnoticed, _should've expected as much, not surprising at all._

"I came back for you," Sera whispered softly and her lips curled in a half smirk, "Couldn't resist you." The eyes narrowed in skepticism and she winced at the heated glare, _okay now I know she's really pissed off if even she don't wanna joke._ After some time Lavellan's eyes slipped shut and she let out a heavy sigh, when she opened them the archer's heart swelled with hope at the subtle glimmer of mischief.

"Don't bullshit a professional bullshitter Vunlea," _that another nickname?_ "That's one game you'll lose in. You came back after you forgot to kick my ass huh?" Though the playfulness was there it still sounded incredibly forced, void of the usual carefree and energetic spark.

"Yeah," Sera murmured tenderly and smoothed back the mage's dirty bangs framing the exhausted face, _even if I confront her, she'll deny it, pretend she ain't hurting. Bury it even more, push me farther away._ The two stared at each other in silence until Sylvira rose her head to glance down at Uvun sleeping on her stomach, then the other kids sitting opposite to them. As if sensing the questions she spoke lowly, "They're all okay. We've been traveling for maybe three hours now, we should be back home soon." Nothing, no response. The tense silence smothered the oxygen in the air and Sera watched worriedly as the mage laid back on her lap then stared back with a deadpan expression, there were tiny flickers of emotion until they had snuffed out one by one.

"Hey..." Hushed and frail, the archer panicked when the citron watered and reflected, she braced herself for the inevitable… But the tears never came. It disappeared once again and Sera fought the frown sweeping her face, _it's obvious she's hurtin', so why's she still pretending?_ Lavellan brought her unmarked right hand to her face and covered her eyes, she let out a stuttering sigh and her monotone voice reminded Sera of the Tranquil. "Let's get those pancakes when we get back."


	8. The Axe Forgets, The Tree Remembers

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** The roller coaster ride continues as things spiral out of control for Sylvira. Will she hang on, break, or is she already broken? On a totally unrelated note, at the ending of the chapter "Lux Aeterna" played on my ipod shuffle and it just fit so well lol. Gave me the chills when I imagined what the war room would look like in the dead of the night XD

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Vunlea:_ Sunshine

 _Uvun:_ Star

 _Mamae:_ Mother

 _Babae:_ Father

* * *

 **The Axe Forgets; The Tree Remembers**

* * *

"Stop here," was all Sylvira said before she simply opened the door to the carriage and jumped right out, the archer panicked and shouted for the rider to stop and immediately rushed to block the entrance to keep the kids safe. _What the hell she sure still loves to do whatever the hell she wants!_

"Oi Syl! What are-" Sera's eyebrows furrowed in confusion when the mage shoved her hands in her pockets and just stared in the distance behind their carriage, _huh?_ She peeked her head out and saw the other ones catching up to them. As soon as she stepped out of the carriage the kids rushed out and sprinted over to the dalish woman, excited that she had been okay but Lavellan hadn't even reacted to them. _What the hell is her problem?_ The rogue stomped towards and stood in front of her, the citron eyes hardened and annoyance swirled in them, "Snap out of it before you do something you regret."

"I'm just taking the kiddos to a nearby lake so we can all bathe. Hygiene is important." Sylvira looked down at the concerned children and offered a small reassuring smile, "I'm just tired and sore still that's all. We'll play in the lake okay?" Sera didn't know what to say, she watched when the mage stopped the other carriages and informed the guards where she'd be going. As soon as all the kids eagerly tumbled out Lavellan knelt down and ruffled the hair of some, her expression would contort before it'd be forced under control and remain composed. The rogue crossed her arms and looked away, tears stinging her eyes at the soft whisper before the children tackled to flatten Sylvira in glee. "I'm proud of you," _you never been proud of anyone but yourself,_ "You did well coming back to me." _Never praise anyone but yourself either,_ Sera chewed on her lip and her head snapped back when the woman was let up, the group happily following her as she disappeared into the thick of trees to go to the lake. _Just who was that for, Syl?_

After rushing to grab her bow and arrows from the carriage, she ran off to catch up with the group and blanched momentarily, _she don't give a fuck about washing arse-naked, she better not be doing that with kids._ "W-wait!" The archer glanced over her shoulder, confused when one of the soldiers had been huffing and puffing and her eyes widened at who he was carrying, _what the fuck does this idiot think he's doing?!_ "T-the Inquisitor," he stated breathlessly, "Ordered me to bring him but I... Am not familiar with this terrain. Do you know where she's going?" _What the fuck is she thinking?_ Her eyes fell and her heart constricted at the young dead boy, her stomach churned when she could still smell the preservatives the healers had used. She nodded and turned around, gesturing for the man to follow her as she glanced at the engraved tick marks in the trees Sylvira often used. _She remembers this lake like the back of her hand but she can't remember five minutes worth of a walk to get there,_ the rogue chuckled quietly, relieved when she heard familiar cheerful laughing and splashing. _Syl sure got down to business real fast with them huh?_ As they entered the clearing she froze, _or not...?_ The mage heard them and glanced over her shoulder, her eyes glazed at the sight of the dead boy and she gestured for the soldier to place him behind one of the larger rocks before the kids could see. He saluted and left immediately, not wanting to risk infuriating the Inquisitor as such was common among the troops.

 _What is she doing...?_ Sera cautiously stood by her side and stole a glance from the corner of her eyes, the woman simply stood with her hands in her pockets and occasionally tugged on the stained scarf wrapped around her neck. Finally she turned her head and looked straight at her, "Syl aren't you gonna join 'em? What are you waiting for?"

"I'm waiting for the next dagger in my back Vunlea," the mage joked tiredly then rubbed her forehead with her right hand, "Keeping my eyes open for another trap so the runts can bathe in peace."

"I can do that for ya," Sera whispered softly and noticed the way Lavellan's eyes narrowed in suspicion before she sighed, "You need it too."

"I stink that bad huh?" _You're sweating a lot too._

"You could kill with how ya reek," she nearly melted in relief when the woman's lips curled into a real smile instead of the fake ones she plastered on for the children. "And before you think 'bout it no, don't be lazy and say it's a strategy to off the baddies."

"You know me all too well," Sylvira murmured, and the archer didn't know what to make of the tone. _Like she's angry and happy at the same time…?_ "If you spot anything or need any help," the mage turned to her, "I've a rune set at the entrance and-"

"Turn it off," Sera blurted, the suspicious gaze was back and she recovered quickly, "Syl yer sweating buckets, if you pass out in there and you'll drown." She took a chance and stepped closer, her heart faltered when Lavellan's face twisted into that of anger and her eyes pleaded for trust.

"You think I'm weak too," the mage seethed quietly and her gaze fell to the ground. _That's her issue? I thought she'd be worried 'bout me backstabbing her._

"No, don't be stupid ye daft tit. Yer still healing and last thing you want is to scare the kids, right?"

Nodding in agreement, Sylvira brushed past her and muttered, "I'm taking a chance I never would with anyone else." Sera nodded and quite honestly she wanted to do a _crappy_ happy dance now knowing things weren't totally hopeless yet, _that'd probly be a bad thing to do right now though._ The woman drew the pattern in reverse and dispelled it with her right hand, her left always well hidden in the pocket of her breeches, _maybe it still hurts lots?_ Sera was about to protest when Lavellan simply hopped into the lake in her clothes, but shook her head and smiled as the children cheered, _that idiot. She's definitely gonna catch cold riding drenched and back to that frozen hell._ Keeping her word the archer crossed her arms and tuned in to her surroundings, her eyes darting left then right whenever she heard rustling and honing in only to find birds innocently flying around, _arseholes are doing this on purpose to keep me on edge_. Occasionally she'd glance over and laughed when Lavellan had the same panicked look on her face as she fought for her life, the children jumping on her and pushing her underwater. _Kidnapped everywhere she goes, something's trying to kill her every five minutes. S_ _urvives ambushes, templars, demons, and dragons and... Killed by kids._ "Sera!" Sylvira broke the surface of the water and shouted before she was pushed under again, her right arm waving frantically in a gesture for help. "SAVE ME!"

"I dunno~ I don't wanna crash their party Syl, they look like they're having fun!" Never in her life had she laughed harder than she did now and doubled over, bracing her ribs as a furious hail of bubbles attacked the surface of the water. She could vaguely hear the gurgling of 'traitor' as the mage continued to shout underwater, for what little good that did her. Suddenly realization dawned on her and she grinned cheekily, _it's the kids that force her to drop the bullshit, that bring out the real side in her._ When the bubbles ceased she pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed as she walked to the edge, "Oi kiddos, let her up before you really do drown her." The children immediately swam a safe distance away and the woman floated to the surface, a miserable expression on her face as she breathed between coughs.

"I'm actually… Alive?"

"Your welcome," Sera knelt down and balanced on the balls of her feet, grinning in amusement as the woman looked up at her. The two stared at each other upside down and the archer had all of a couple seconds along with a playful glint in Lavellan's eyes as warning, but reacted too slowly and yelped in surprise when she was pulled into the lake. _Well there goes a good set of arrows, friggin' arsehole'll pay for this!_ She was yanked underwater and glared back at the citron eyes dancing with mischief, the dalish woman grasped her wrist and tugged her closer, _the hell is she doing?_ Her eyes widened when Sylvira framed her face with the one hand and suddenly locked lips with her, she felt a small rush of air push in her mouth but the water made it difficult to feel anything else except pressure. Wisps and strands of the mage's long hair smoothed along her face, but before she could reciprocate Lavellan parted and pulled them back to the surface of the water. _Why?_ The woman laughed when the children exclaimed they ducked underwater and saw, making mocking noises and teasing Sera for being Icky-Kisses. _What was that really about, Syl?_ Sylvira avoided her gaze and climbed out of the lake, rallying the kids to begin drying so they could get back on the road again.

 _ **And it… Wouldn't feel right without you knowing first.**_

 _Did you just change yer mind again, or forget like usual? What the fuck did I miss?_ The archer was determined to squeeze answers out of her the moment the two were alone but as she watched Lavellan neglect herself, dress the children and swiftly walk back to the carriages still sopping wet, Sera couldn't help but wonder about one question.

Would Sylvira even give her that chance?

* * *

Fortunately it hadn't taken particularly long to figure it out but it wasn't what Sera expected, the moment they got back to the carriages Sylvira helped the children board yet didn't step in herself. The archer just barely made it in time to see her hugging and whispering to Uvun, _the heck?_ "Be brave. I will meet you there within the hour you arrive," _she's not going with them?_ The elven girl was clearly unhappy and scared, but nodded nonetheless and Sera stiffened when Lavellan took off her scarf, "I don't trust this with anyone else but Icky-Kisses," _oi don't friggin' encourage that dumbass nickname when it's your fault, loser!_ "It's special to me. Know that I'll always come back for it, okay?"

"Promise?" Uvun reluctantly took the scarf in her hands and smoothed her fingers over the blood stains permanently embedded in the fabric. Everything else had washed off and the mage grinned reassuringly, Uvun carefully wrapped it multiple times around her neck so that the dangling ends wouldn't drag along the ground. _They almost look the same now,_ the archer tried to suppress a smile at a ridiculous idea in her head, _yeah right! If Syl was her real mom it'd be the end of the fuckin' world for sure._ She pursed her lips in an attempt to stifle the laughter bubbling in her chest at images of the mage as a mom, _she's like a big kid herself, it'd never happen._

"It's a promise," Sylvira rose and ruffled the elven girl's damp hair, "Do you remember your first lesson about being a leader?" _Lesson…?_

"Be brave for my army even if I'm shaking," Uvun wiped her eyes with her forearm before the tears fell and looked up then grinned exaggeratedly, "Fear is excitement, cover it with a smile." Sera crossed her arms and watched as Lavellan nodded and plastered on another fake reassuring smile, helping the young girl in the carriage before Uvun spun on her heels and stared sternly, "I order you to come back!" _Why isn't she going with them?_

Sylvira grinned and mock saluted, "Ma'am, yes ma'am! Just remember when you get there ask for Josephine or Josie for short, okay? Give me an hour or two when you arrive," Uvun nodded and the mage closed the carriage door, tapping on the side and shouting her commands to the guards after glaring at them in suspicion. She jogged up to the rider, "If **anything** happens to these kids that doesn't revolve around them getting back to Skyhold  safe and fucking happy, I will cut off your balls and feed them to you on a pole." _Shit that's a little too extreme Syl,_ the rider gulped and stared at her wide-eyed, "Do you understand?"

"P-p-perfectly Inquisitor," the rider nodded eagerly, "I p-promise-"

"That's not good enough!"

"I vow-uhh-swear an oath on my life they'll be safe and happy! A-and in Skyhold!"

"Better," Sylvira gestured with her head, "Get moving. The sooner we can help them go home to their families the better." When the carriages left and one horse secured for herself on the ride back, the mage glanced over her shoulder at Sera, _time for answers._ "We need to talk," _yep, yep we do._ Sera followed the woman as she went back to the trail leading to the lake, "But first I have something I need to do for Börisk." The archer nodded and Lavellan sighed as they wove around the large rock, she knelt down and stared at the boy as she picked up a smaller rock in her right hand, "I'm going to toss up my lungs."

"Syl..."

"The Avaar… They dismember their dead," _what?!_ "And break the bones. All to prepare for birds to come by and pick off their corpse."

"W-whoa wait," Sera gaped in shock as the woman rose the hand that held the rock, "Syl what the fuck are you…!" Her eyes widened as Sylvira brought the rock down on the boy's ribs, the crack resounded in the air and the mage immediately dropped the rock to clamp her hand over her mouth.

"I have to," Lavellan squeezed her eyes shut and muffled in her palm, "This is how they bury their own, a sky burial. It's to return their souls to the Lady of the Skies, or something like that. Börisk never talked about his family, we'd have no way of knowing where he came from nor where his clan would be now. This is all I can do for him now." Her hand quivered immensely as she picked up the rock, "Fuck," she brought it down on the ribs again and her eyes watered, with every crack she cursed. Sera couldn't watch anymore and turned around to bolt out of there, " _Please_ ," the mage whispered with desperation, "Stay. I can't do this on my own or I'll lose it." _I'll lose it too, this is way too fucked up!_

"Why are you doing this Syl?" Sera clenched her teeth and rested her palm on the tree as the overpowering nausea churned in her stomach, "Can't we just burn him? I've got my matches, we can use my shirt and-"

"That would be the same as spitting on Börisk," Sylvira snapped, "I refuse to disrespect him like that. A child gave their life for me Sera," the dalish woman murmured miserably, "When does it stop? Every word I breathe or don't breathe, every action I take or don't take, someone dies for it. Someone hates me for it. And when I make a mistake, more people die for absolutely no reason. There's no escaping it. When does it stop?" Another crack, "I fooled myself thinking it was necessary, that it was just part of the job," another crack and Sera clamped her hand over her mouth. Her teeth grind loudly in frustration, "Tell me. How was his death necessary?"

"It wasn't," the archer muttered bitterly.

"Exactly." Another crack, Lavellan's ragged breathing echoed in Sera's ears and she thought she was going to hurl when the mage choked out weakly, "I need your dagger." She couldn't bear turn around to see Sylvira kneeling over the broken and deformed body, she unsheathed her dagger and held it out behind her, "Fuck… Where's Bull when you need him..." The heaving and gagging was too much, the archer keeled over in the bushes then expelled the contents of her stomach. She squeezed her eyes shut, her eyelashes damp when she could hear Lavellan sniffle and inhale sharply in an effort not to cry, "I'm going to find that bitch," _who,_ _which one?_ The mage muttered dangerously, "And I'm not going to kill her."

"What?! Why-"

"I'm going to thoroughly enjoy torturing her, physically and mentally. I'll **break** her just like how she tried to break me. And instead of magic I'll snap her bones one by one with a rock like this." Sera's head snapped behind her and immediately regretted the action, the vivid image was burned in her mind and she quickly looked away as she fought another wave of nausea. Sylvira had kept her left hand in her pocket and sawed with the dagger in her right, blood splattered on her and a murderous look akin to a rabid animal on her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. "While I'm at it, shall I count my sins?" The woman spat with bitter venom lacing each word, "You wanted to know the truth didn't you?"

"No," Sera rasped out, "Not like this."

"Not like this?" Lavellan chuckled sarcastically, "Did you expect me to spill all my dirty secrets over tea time with a merry grin on my face?"

"I mean not over a dead kid that you're chopping to fucking pieces Syl," the archer snapped and swallowed the thick lump in her throat, _nothing but meat now, this is fucking gross._ "And not when you're pissed off like a loony," _yer going_ _off the deep end._

 _ **I'll break her just like how she tried to break me.**_

 _I'll help._ "So you do want a merry grin, evidently." _Hiding behind jokes again,_ Sera chewed on her lip, her hand clamped over her mouth as she breathed deep and ignore the heart-wrenching sounds. _How can she do this? She hates this shit even more than I do._ Just when she thought she couldn't take anymore the mage let out a tired sigh, "I can't do it anymore. I'm done." It was the same monotone voice like the Tranquil, null and void of all feeling, "Give me a few minutes and we'll leave."

 _ **Pain is like any other emotion, it can be shut off when you need it to.**_

From the corner of her eyes she saw Sylvira weave waist deep into the lake, splashing water over her face and raking her right hand through her unkempt hair. _She hasn't taken out her other hand from her pocket this entire time,_ the archer's eyebrows furrowed in anger, _whoever did this to her is gonna fucking pay. I'll make sure of it._ The mage climbed out and stood in front of Sera, "The kiss underwater..." Guilt flashed across her eyes, "I wanted to steal one last kiss, before you saw me do that to Börisk." She walked closer, the citron eyes shone bright with resolve, "I'm ready now."

"What…? Ready for what?"

"Uh... Well the deal was that you'd kick my ass before you leave, and a deal is a deal." _She's all b_ _usiness again, are you fucking kidding me?_ "Now you have two reasons to-"

"I'm staying." Sera couldn't help but grin at the dumbfounded look, _not often she's surprised,_ "Jeez, Syl..." She walked closer and wove her arms around Lavellan's neck, pulling the taller woman down and stealing a kiss of her own. Her grin grew as she whispered the mage's words back to her, "So little faith in me."

* * *

"Your breath is really stinky," Sylvira quipped cheerfully. The archer groaned, she had no idea what she had unleashed when she made up her mind and confessed she was staying. The dalish woman brightened up immediately, the playful spark was back in her accent, the citron eyes flashed with excitement and worst of all… She was hyper.

"Yeah well your face is stinky."

"If you want to kiss me again you should rinse your mouth in the lake."

"Piss off, that was just to cheer you up!" Alerted by sudden shuffling sounds her head snapped to the mage and rose her eyebrows in confusion as Lavellan lay on her back. "Uh… Did you just fall?"

"Don't be ridiculous! I attacked the ground." _If I'm ridiculous_ _then_ _what the fuck is that?_

"Uh huh," the rogue smirked in amusement and crossed her arms, "Backwards?"

"What can I say?" Sylvira stood back up and nonchalantly dusted off her bum then grinned arrogantly, "I'm gifted, told you I have godly powers." _She washed twice and she's already dirty._ She chuckled when the archer rolled her eyes and shrugged, setting out back to their horse. _And it took her what, like five minutes? That's a new record._

"Uh huh~ I believe you," Sera watched the woman from behind as they walked and her eyes fell on the hand in the pocket, _she didn't even use it to break her fall…_ She didn't know whether to ask or not but decided not to push it, _don't wanna be pushed away again,_ she smiled softly as the mage began whistling a bouncy tune, _not when she's_ _feeling a little better now._ Suddenly she remembered something earlier and blurted out, "That girl, when she washed up and shite she looked a lot like you with that scarf."

"Who, Uvun?" Sylvira grinned proudly as she glanced over her shoulder, "She's gonna make a great leader someday. And charm everyone out their pants too."

"Idiot, you better not teach her that kinda crap."

"I won't have to, she's a natural," the mage chuckled when Sera groaned, "When she grows up she'll be just like me."

"And this world's gonna be so fucked."

"We aim to please, Vunlea." For some reason there was something the rogue couldn't shake off, the atmosphere felt tense and the silence was nagging her. _That little girl said she doesn't have a family no more…_

"So… Does that mean she'll be staying at Skyhold?"

"I don't know yet," crisp and short, it seemed to be bothering Lavellan a lot too with a sharp tone like that. "I can't be her babysitter," she sighed heavily, "And when we get back I'll need to go straight to work. Pancakes, train, find the bitch, pay her back, more pancakes. In that order. Oh and some smokes along the way, cards too... Shit never mind no more order but you get the idea."

"Train?" Sera's eyebrows knitted in concern and her head tilted in confusion, "What happened to hating shite like that?" _I've never seen her get worked up 'bout this even over Haven._

"I still do. And that's another thing she'll be paying for, making the Inquisitor do unnecessary work is punishable by death after all. In any case, what do you think I should do about Uvun?" _Uh... She's actually asking me?_

"Fuck if I know," the archer shrugged, "If she's got no where to go I'd say just let her stay, you're all she's got now."

"That's exactly why she needs to go," Sylvira muttered bitterly.

"What the fuck, why? That's exactly why she ought to stay."

"Attachments like that are troublesome, they do nothing but cloud judgment and make everybody feel like shit. And any time we go out on a mission, Uvun will be worried if I make it back or not." _So is it for her, or is it for you?_

"I'd say give her a chance Syl, you dunno what she'll do until it happens."

"So Skyhold is an orphanage now," the woman teased in a mocking tone, _fuck is that ever annoying when she does that._ "The Inquisitor is the-"

"Shut up. You asked what I thought and you got it, just do whatever the hell you want. You always do, anyways." _It's obvious yer thinking 'bout yourself, pushing her away like you did with me._ _Why start somethin' in the first place if you_ _can't_ _commit?_ They'd reach the horse and the archer untied the reata then hoisted herself up on the saddle, extending her hand and reluctantly helping Lavellan settle in behind her. She dug in her heels and tensed on the reins to set off on a trot, as they rode Sera glanced over her shoulder when the mage actually remained silent and appeared to be lost in thought. _She's only got one hand on my hip, usually she'd be hugging saying it's_ _so_ _she_ _don't_ _fall off._ "Syl?" No response, she hadn't even reacted. "Oi, loser!" Nothing, the archer stopped the horse and rotated her upper torso, "Syl!"

"Huh? Oh," startled out of her reverie Sylvira grinned, _oh no… I know that look._ "I couldn't hear you over the imaginary sex I was having with you in my head."

" **This** again?" Sera snickered, "You're always so fulla shit." _Just like that, she's back to normal._

"What, you said I could do whatever I wanted! But since I can't touch you I had to settle for a fantasy in my head." _Is she really okay like this?_

"Uh huh," the archer turned around and sighed when she felt the arm wrap around her waist, _a_ _nd here I was friggin' worried too._ She chuckled when Lavellan squeezed extra tight and could feel the damp shirt through the multiple layers of her own, "You just never stop." _She_ _didn't wring out her clothes much,_ _gonna catch cold if we don't hurry up._

"You inspire me to keep going," the mage's breaths hit the back of her ear and Sera suppressed the shivers, tensing on the reins and setting off on a canter in an attempt to ignore it. "You know you should probably take off the venatori disguise so you won't be shot on sight."

"You just want me naked."

"Aye, that too."

"Jeez," the rogue chuckled, "Dunno what's worse, you bein' a perv or that yer honest 'bout it."

"Definitely the honesty. More often than not you smack me for it."

"You like the smacking you fuckin' weirdo." She slowed the horse down and could _hear_ the grin on Lavellan's face when she slung off her satchel then unsheathed her dagger, "Hold on to this for me."

"Will I get to hold on to something else after?" Sera decided not to respond as she sliced down the front of the venatori shirt and sash. As soon as she shirked off the offending fabric she cackled with glee when she could feel the woman behind her deflate, "Fuck you and your fucking teasing."

"You really thought I wouldn't have my own shit underneath? Ain't no way I'd wear that rubbish otherwise," she extended her hand for the strap of the satchel and grinned when the mage reluctantly gave it back. "Besides I ain't riding topless in the friggin' mountain. I'd freeze my tits off."

"I'd keep them warm with my hand," Sylvira rested her chin on the archer's shoulder and waggled her eyebrows playfully. "You make me have thoughts that are so fucking filthy," the mage murmured in Sera's ear and she shuddered, " _Thank you._ "

* * *

Moments after they crossed the gate Lavellan was attacked by several messengers at once updating her on multiple reports. She waved her hand dismissively and when they didn't get the hint she snapped, ordering and threatening them to leave her alone. Sera wisely remained quiet as she steered the horse towards the stables, the mage's good mood rapidly deteriorated on the way to Skyhold. There were crease lines in her forehead and she had the thoughtful look once again as if trying to formulate a plan, _she's stressed out 'bout the kids_ _and not a single one of those reports involved 'em._ Truthfully she had been worried too, but that tension instantly melted away as she grinned at the sight of good news. "Oi, Syl. Take a look at that," she pointed ahead at the carriages neatly lined up and Horsemaster Dennet ushering the horses away, "They made it. Just gotta find out where they're hiding to ambush you."

"Fuck," Lavellan muttered and the rogue glanced worriedly at her, _why's she sound scared?_ "I can't take this anymore Vunlea," _what the fuck?_ The citron eyes shone bright with fear, "I'm gonna die if those runts doggy pile me now." _Oh. Wait t_ _hat's what she's afraid of?!_ "Think you can find a place for me to hide?"

"Jeez," Sera sighed and looked ahead as she brought the horse in the stable, "You know you're the one who told that lil girl 'bout being brave and shite."

"There's a huge difference between being brave and not wanting to die. And this is definitely not exciting or else I'd be grinning like an idiot." The archer cast a curious glance over her shoulder, "Seriously? You had to check if I was?"

"Well you usually do," Sera shrugged and chuckled, "C'mon it won't be so bad. I'll even hold your hand if you're that sca-" she abruptly cut off and her eyes widened in realization, the mage stiffened behind her. _Great, giving her more stupid ideas._ Without another word Lavellan hopped off and shoved her right hand in her pocket, gesturing to the rogue with her head. _Uh… Not even any smartass jokes?_

"Let's go find Josephine." _That'_ _s i_ _t?_ Sera nodded dumbly and slid off the saddle, retrieving her things and handing the steed off to Dennet. As she walked beside Sylvira she tilted her head and looked up at the tall woman, her face set in stone as she strode with confidence past the saluting soldiers. _Somethin' feels off but I dunno what,_ she shrugged and folded her hands behind her head, settling for a more casual stride as the two wove through the crowd and to the main hall. The mage's pace quickened the closer they got to the Ambassador's room and Sera's lips curled into a smile, _playing the tough leader for others, soon as she knows nobody's watching her she's gonna be an idiot with the kids all over again._ The moment they stepped inside the room, the archer had all of a second to shut the door before hell broke loose. The few children that weren't sleeping away instantly rushed to tackle Sylvira, the tension in the mage's body dissipated immediately but she made no move to kneel or hug the kids tugging on her breeches. "Shh~ the others are sleeping," she held up a finger at her lips, "Good to see you again kiddos, but Big Sis has to get to work."

"You ain't gonna play with 'em?" Sera watched confusedly when the dalish woman glanced over her shoulder, a stern warning look in her eyes as she gestured with her head towards Josephine, _what?_ Her eyes fell on the tired Ambassador slaving away at her desk, she'd been so focused on her work that she hadn't even noticed the intrusion, _oh._ When Lavellan strode towards the antivan woman and loomed over her she'd been startled from the shadow and her head snapped up, the dark circles around her eyes evident enough that whatever had been happening in Skyhold the past week had sapped away precious sleeping time.

"Get some sleep Lady Montilyet," Sylvira extended her right hand for the reports, "I'll take over."

"That won't be necessary," Josephine smiled politely, "I've almost figured ou-"

"Get some sleep, that's an order. It'll be troublesome if our Ambassador exhausts herself to the point she passes out," she snatched the papers from the woman's desk and turned to go to the war room leaving Josephine no chance to protest. "Two things before you head to bed, have Commander Cullen and only him watch over the children, and tell my favorite spy _master_ Leliana to meet me in the war room right now. No excuses." The mage opened the door and left without another word, leaving the two women bewildered as they tried to process what happened.

"At once Inquisitor..." Josephine murmured and exchanged glances with Sera who shrugged.

"Don't ask me. Dunno what's up her arse now." The archer glanced at Uvun who had been passed out on the chair, she'd taken off the scarf and hugged it with her dear life as she slept, _I thought she'd have been excited 'bout seeing the kids. She really wanna get rid of 'em that badly…?_ "I'll stay here with 'em 'til you get Curly." The Ambassador nodded gratefully and hurriedly walked out, Sera sat down in the center and chuckled when the four year old who was surprisingly still awake came over and nonchalantly plopped on her lap, "I ain't a chair kiddo."

"Puppy face." _Huh?_ The archer was completely confused as the boy leaned back and looked up at her, "Cause of Icky-Kisses." _T_ _his nickname is getting on my nerves._ As he slumped more and drifted off to sleep, Sera pondered on just what the boy meant until she shrugged and gave up. _Whatever, kids can be so weird._

* * *

 _Already have a headache,_ Sylvira pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed, she gave a slight jerk of her head to swing back the loose ends of her hair over her shoulder. _It'd be easier if I tied it up,_ she chewed her lip in frustration as bitter shame welled up in her, her stubborn streak continued and she refused to even look at her left hand that remained in her pocket. _I forgot how gross it feels to be surrounded by templars again,_ her patience had instantly been cut in half and the _useless_ feelings ate away what little was left. She picked up the next note scribbled with graceful penmanship and read over the details, the Ambassador did well to interview the children about their lives back at home and jot down anything that may help pinpoint where they came from if the kids couldn't remember the names of the cities or villages. _Fuck,_ she let out a tired sigh, _I hate work. Could really go for a smoke,_ she glanced down and was reminded that her belt, tome and satchel were taken away from her when she'd been captured by the Venatori, _and I'll most likely never get it back ever again. Fucking stingy assholes,_ her eyebrows knitted in anger, _you dug your grave the moment you decided to let me live, Cally. You always were a stupid naive bitch._

Taking a deep breath and exhaling, she shook her head and tried to keep her head clear of such thoughts. She buried the torrent of emotions by focusing on the research as she attempted to piece the random clues together, dropping the make shift dossier on top of the map where she thought the child may have belonged. _The four Fereldans will be easy to figure out since they have fresh memories, well except the youngest tyke._ She looked at the five papers thus far scattered haphazardly along the map with many of them being pure guesses, _we'll have to send scouts or messenger birds first, I won't let them go unless I'm sure it's the right place and family._ She hadn't bothered to look up at the sound of the doors opening, the familiar clang of armored footsteps told her exactly who it was.

"I've missed you spy _master_ ," she sneered sarcastically, "You know there's lots of things I wanted to do to you." She dropped the parchment on another guessed location then looked up, "First I thought about slapping you, but given your past you'd like that and consider it a reward. Then I thought about chewing you out, mock you for just how absolutely great of a fucking job you've been doing lately." Leliana surprisingly remained composed but the dark circles and blue eyes swimming with guilt were evident enough, "But you strike me as a masochist. Instead of not doing your job properly and pissing me off, you could have saved both of us the time and asked me to punish you." She picked up another dossier and read as she muttered, "But lucky for you, another idiot's pissed me off even more and I just don't give a fuck anymore."

"Inquisitor, I-"

"Don't," Sylvira waved the paper dismissively, "It's too late for explanations and apologies are a waste of time. You know I don't care much for them," she glanced up, "Instead I want background checks done on every single person employed in the Inquisition, that also goes for our noble sponsors, partners, anybody and everybody who has a connection with us. Those who are proven to be spies, even if they're a fucking servant, send them straight to the gibbet. Hang them as an example and send their bodies to the ash warriors to feed their mabari hounds or something, don't bother me with trials to judge anyone. Are we clear?"

"Yes Inquisitor," Leliana clearly seemed troubled with the harsh decision but agreed nonetheless, "I'll get straight to work on the background checks at once."

"Fan-fucking-tastic. Dismissed." The Spymaster bowed and sharply turned on her heel, leaving Lavellan back to her devices as she continued to sift through multiple reports. _Fuck, wish I had my glasses. Starting to get harder to read this shit._ The heavy doors opened again and her head snapped up, _I didn't summon anybody else in here did I?_ Sera squeezed through the crack then spun around to set the locks, "Hey Vunlea," Sylvira smirked smugly, "Come to remind me of my big toe?"

"Nah," Sera scoffed and crossed her arms, the corner of her lips curled into a smile, "Heard what you said to Red." She shrugged, "She looked pissed, but if ya ask me anybody stupid enough to fuck with you deserves it."

"That's what I thought too, great minds think alike."

"Dirty bastard," the archer chuckled, "Anyways you been stuck in here for a while. Want me to bring you some food?" Lavellan's gut feeling told her she was forgetting something, _but what? Shit this always happens…_ She shook her head and grinned playfully as Sera whispered under her breath, "I know that look..."

"No. No food, I want sex. Bring me some sex. And a certain wild blonde elf."

"Oh, you want that cook in the kitchen then?"

"Exactly who I was thinking of!" Sylvira's grin grew when she noticed the rogue's temple twitch, "Hey you set yourself up for that one."

"Yeah, yeah," Sera waved her hand dismissively and walked over as the mage grabbed the next dossier in the pile, "Tryin' to figure out where they all belong huh?"

"Mm-hm," Lavellan's eyebrows knitted together as she read the details, _Uvun's?_ Her vision blurred and her heart constricted as dread immediately welled up in her, the paper quivered in her hand. _No way… No fucking way..._

 _ **Tch, of course the pretenders are pretending like we're family. Fuck no, they abandoned me and it's high time they get a taste of their own medicine. Ignore their missives, I'm sure they can fend for themselves.**_

"Syl? What's wrong?" Sera stood on her toes and glanced over the dalish woman's shoulder to take a peek at the notes. "Oh hey that's the elfy girl's name right?"

"Uvun," Sylvira murmured guiltily, high pitched white-noise rang in her ears and her stomach churned with nausea at the cruel realization. _Karma has no deadline but it sure is fucking impatient with me._

 _ **I… Don't have a home anymore. Mamae, Babae, everyone in my clan…**_

"Lavellan."


	9. No Better Mirror than a Friend

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** More explanations! I should have elaborated on the point you rose Derp lol my bad. In regards to Calpernia (that's our mystery woman) knowing when and where to send forces is due to spies, hence Syl later practically calling on a purge with the background checks. The troops that were being mobilized originally would have needed the information as to where they were going, and thus spies also got this information and sent it forward (which is why after Syl left the real troops arrived soon after with a password as a safeguard against these sorts of traps, there was nothing about them being killed off or ambushed). With how Syl rules, not very many are truly loyal since she's not entirely a _paragon_ so she rules with fear and an iron-fist rather than respect. This doesn't help the fact that there are more factions than the venatori among Inquisition numbers, and so it's more of a 'cold war' in which each side is plucking off spies first (just as how there are Inquisition spies everywhere else).

As for the templars yeah I think all they've got is really high magic resistance and that's it right? Perhaps red lyrium has a hand in changing not just their brains/behavior but abilities as well, who knows? An eye for an eye is certainly debatable, depending on everyone's experiences as well. I used to believe wholeheartedly in it until eventually it became more like a 'well everyone makes mistakes' and you're just continuing the cycle of BS. But if you hurt someone intentionally hell yeah it's still an eye for an eye, you better be prepared to deal with the consequences of your actions. I figured I'd include the little hints about Calpernia and give a brief explanation of those too (they're more like random tidbits of information really).

Hint #1: Incaensor, a tevene nickname for magic-using slave and was also what Calpernia was called when she later found out about her magical abilities. Frankly put, it pisses her off and she killed a Magister over it XD

#2: "...when the Imperium's corruption is burned to dust the slaves will walk free in the light. I will see it done!" This is a line from Calpernia's short story "Paying the Ferryman" when she faces (and ultimately battles) one of the Magisters she used to be acquainted with.

#3 Marius, a man who was the 'bodyguard' for Magister Erasthenes (her patron and last master before Corypheus took her in) and also implied to be Calpernia's lover when they grew closer. However, he was eventually sold off. This is totally unrelated but does anyone else have trouble imagining Corypheus going out for a stroll in Tevinter, recruiting people and talking to them? I don't know about you but when I see a tall ass guy like that with rocks sprouting out his head (hood or no hood doesn't matter) that kind of makes me less inclined to invite him over for coffee and chill out.

#4 A subtle reference to Calpernia's short story: "If we were to have a magic duel, there would be nothing but ashes left of your body." This was the outcome to the very first duel she had witnessed when out running an errand (and unlike the frightened crowd she had been fascinated), such magic duels are common in Tevinter.

#5 The Hooded Ferryman. Calpernia looks up to this symbol/statue and it is a story about Darinius, this symbol was engraved on every ring given to an archon. The symbol itself was Darinius traveling on a ferryboat and when he looked behind him at the hooded ferryman, he saw his own face (and thus chose this as a symbol). Calpernia's name is a play on Calpurnia, the priestess of Dumat who was the foster mother to Darinius before he showed Tevinter who's boss :P **On to the story!**

 **Vocabulary**

 _[Elvhen] Vara:_ Go away

 _[Sylvira Calendar] Thirstday:_ Thursday

 _[DA Calendar] Solace:_ The equivalent to 'July' for us

* * *

 **No Better Mirror than a Friend**

* * *

"What now, Sera," Lavellan was utterly exhausted. She'd been slaving away and slept in the war room for the past week, ensuring that everything was as it should be before the children were sent to their homes. The worst were the goodbyes, they had been baaling and wailing, tugging on her breeches yet her pride commanded her to not show even an ounce of emotion. _I can't afford to look weak and emotional in front of the troops, my authority will be diminished._ The archer had chewed her out numerous times, standing by her side while Sylvira would look away as the carriage set off on it's journey. But as soon as she locked herself in the old library down on the vault level she'd let everything out, frustrated at herself for being swept up in the tide of the overpowering emotions.

 _Can't even control something as stupid and annoying as this._ When she'd notice Sera hadn't said anything she dropped whatever report she had been trying to make sense of and looked up, rubbing her forehead with her right hand when her blurry vision intensified. "Make whatever business you have here quick." _I'm too tired to deal with anything else anymore, I've been doing nothing but work._

"Why won't you go see Uvun?" Sera crossed her arms and glared at her, _great, exactly what I need right now._ "You've been avoiding her the entire time. Grow up and own up to the shit you done Syl."

"It isn't that simple and you know that, I told you that already. If she knew..." _Why the hell are my eyes and arm giving me this much trouble?_ "You know w-"

"Yeah I do, I know you're a weak coward," a low blow, the mage cringed and her heart squeezed painfully. Her pride lashed out yet she couldn't utter her defense, she knew this would happen with Sera someday, _vara. I knew attachments like this were troublesome, it was a mistake on my part to have allowed her this close._

"If you've come to slander me take it and leave, I have work to do."

"And what about me?"

"What about you?" _Is Cullen nearby or something? Why is my arm tingling?_ She glanced down and double checked the bandages on her left hand, _is the brand interacting and interfering with the rune?_

"You have been avoiding me as well," Sera walked towards the dalish woman, her guts were churning and screaming, "Neglecting everything and running away," _she's the only one unafraid to tell me like it is,_ "Only thinking about yourself." _But this is going too far,_ "It's because of you that Börisk died."

"Shut up!" Sylvira slammed her hands on the table, "I already know that Sera! You aren't saying anything new that I haven't already fucking said to myself!"

"I'm right here Syl, you aren't alone. I can help you," _shut up, this isn't like you at all, so just shut the fucking hell up…!_ "But you need to let me in." Lavellan's head shot up, she gaped at the rogue with her jaw hung loose, _I get it now. She's asking me to..._

"Heh," the mage grinned arrogantly and her head hung low, her lips parted and her haughty laughter resounded in the war room. "Aye," she pushed herself off the table and strode to the grinning archer, mirroring the devilish grin with her own as she leaned forward, "You're right..." She suddenly pushed Sera back with her magic and pinned the rogue to the stone wall, "I'll hand it to you, clever. Nice try." Her fist slowly clenched, "But not good enough," guttural shrieks bounced off the walls as Sylvira slowly crushed the thing on the wall, "Be gone, demon!"

Eyes snapping open, she'd had but a second before she reacted and pushed Sera kneeling by her side, "Oi!" The archer crashed on her rear end, "What the fuck Syl?!" _What…?_ Lavellan slowly sat up and looked around, she'd been on her make shift bed set up in the war room, "Fuck first yer mumbling weird shite now this..." _Oh. That's right, the dream…_ She'd smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of her head as she met Sera's angry glare, "The fuck was that for, loser?"

"My mistake, I was dreaming about you."

" **This** again?" The rogue sighed, "You don't-"

"No not that, that's not what I meant," Sylvira chuckled, "I wish it were. No," she rose and extended her right hand to help Sera up, "A demon disguised itself as you in an attempt to trick me to agree to possession."

"W-what…?" The archer gulped nervously and stared wide-eyed, "Quit it with the weird jokes Syl. That one isn't funny at all."

"I'm not-" _oh wait,_ Lavellan cut herself off and shook her head, "You're right, I should have stuck with the sex dream joke." _I forgot she's afraid of anything remotely related to magic._ "Anyways, why'd you wake me up?"

"Figured you'd wanna get outta this stuffy place," Sera shrugged, "You haven't seen the rest of this frozen hell in a while yeah? Let's go do something fun."

"If the rest of the kids see me they'll-" her eyebrow rose in confusion when the rogue suddenly grinned mischievously.

"Their target is Curly right now," _do I even want to ask how she managed that?_ "I already snuck booze and cards to yer room."

"Creators," Sylvira swiftly stole a kiss before the rogue could dodge in time, _still pretending you don't want it I see._ A smile graced her lips at the amusing sight of the murderous glint in Sera's eyes, "Where have you been all my life, Vunlea?"

"Hiding from you."

* * *

"Fenedhas," the mage huffed as she threw her cards down and slid off the bed as her hands worked on her shirt, "You're just cheating as usual."

"Thought I didn't have to cheat to get yer pants?"

" **In** my pants, **in**. You're clearly cheating right now though, I'm on to you. You can't trick the master trickster."

"Can't bullshit the professional bullshitter either," Sera slurred with a lazy smile on her face as she took another swig straight from the bottle, "But looks to me like I did if I'm still winning against the _master_ , Syl." Her eyes glinted with victory as the mage stood slack jawed, _shit she got me…_

"Checkmate," Lavellan shrugged and abandoned her shirt on the ground, "Well played." The archer passed the bottle of rum to her and she tilted her head back, taking a gulp and grimacing at the familiar burn traveling down her throat. " _Haa_ ," she wiped her lips with her forearm and handed the bottle back, "Good shit. Been a while since I drank," she stumbled back on the bed and laid on her side as she picked up the five cards, an amused look on her face as Sera drank from the bottle again, _I'm surprised she hasn't caught on yet._

"What? Why ya lookin' at me like that?"

"No reason," Sylvira shrugged, "Was just thinking how you're still drinking the same bottle I have."

"So?"

"An indirect kiss. You don't seem to be particularly fond of the idea of-" she chuckled when Sera suddenly shoved the bottle in her hands and rolled off the bed, wobbling over to the drawer for one of her own. _More for me, I win,_ "I get to have some, only fair if you drank mine."

"No way," Sera stuck out her tongue, "Ya tricked me on purpose."

"You wound me with such accusations," the mage replied melodramatically with a hand crossed over her chest, "You're ripping my heart apart, Sera."

" **You** have a heart?"

"And effectively crushing it into smaller pieces," Lavellan laughed when the rogue rolled her eyes, "I think you rolled your eyes so hard you saw your brain."

"Ew~ no, why ya still saying weird rubbish?" The archer collapsed on the bed and dragged herself closer, the alcohol was clearly affecting her with her uncoordinated movements. _Drunk in the middle of the day,_ Sylvira noted with amusement, _exactly what I've been needing lately._

"Thanks for this Vunlea."

"And yer **still** saying weird rubbish," Sera commented idly as she reached for her five cards, accidentally knocking over the stacked deck in the process. "Hey what's that… Fun-whatever mean this time?"

"Vunlea? Sunshine," Lavellan laughed when the archer huffed, "Still weird rubbish?"

"Still weird rubbishished," the rogue nodded in agreement, _okay what the fuck was that?_ The dalish woman's lips curled in an affectionate smile as she watched Sera struggle the more she drank, "You been real serious lately," _huh?_ "Serious 'bout being serious too..."

"You're not making much sense Sera, should probably take a nap soon."

"Yer face doesn't make sense!" The archer grinned when Sylvira chuckled, "You agree. Anyways, I been thinkin' you know, since you've been doing lots of serious thinking too." _I work a little more than usual and suddenly that means I'm serious?_ Sera hiccuped and took another swig of the bottle, but didn't seem like she was going to continue.

"Uh… And?"

"And what?" _Creators, she doesn't even remember,_ the mage pursed her lips to stifle her laughter and tried to contain herself. _I'm glad I didn't drink as much as her so I can remember this._

"C'mon," Lavellan collected the cards and casually plucked the ones from Sera's hand, she set the deck on the table and grabbed the bed sheets haphazardly thrown on the floor. "You need to sleep," she draped the sheets on top of the sprawled archer and yanked the bottle out of her hand to place on the night table.

"You too," Sera patted beside her, "C'mere."

"Uh," a grin swept Sylvira's face, _lucky! Wait no, no, no,_ she shook her head and warily eyed the rogue, "Is this a trap?"

"Wot? No trap." She patted the spot again, "C'mon before I change my mind ye daft tit. Just don't fuckin' attack me again or I'll stripe you up."

"Alright," not one to squander an opportunity the mage pulled off her scarf and boots then chucked it with the shirt on the floor. She slid under the sheets, "Will I get to sleep on your pillows?" She snickered at the warning glare and settled for just lying on her back, their shoulders brushing together as they stared at the ceiling. "Hey… Why are you doing all this for me anyways?" There was a long pause and she glanced beside her, Sera's eyes were shut and she smiled, _asleep already._

"Puppy face..." Sera yawned the words with her eyes still closed, _huh?_ "You always have it now." The dalish woman stiffened with realization and she looked away, her eyes watered as her heart constricted at the memory.

 ** _You look like my puppy when he misses mama._**

 _That brat was the first to go,_ Sylvira rolled to her side and her back faced the archer, "Nothing wrong with missing 'em Syl," _everything's wrong with it. It's harder to think and function, it's annoying as fuck and useless._ A lithe arm hesitantly slid around her waist and she felt Sera tuck in close behind her, "They're back with people who care 'bout 'em. You done good luv. As usual, right?"

"Always know how to cheer me up," the mage murmured, "What did I do to deserve you?" _Hope she doesn't take that badly, misunderstandings are annoying._ "Karma's been kicking my ass for a while."

"Dunno," Sera chuckled softly, "Must've done something right at least once in your life." _Well that went well,_ Lavellan tensed when she felt the rogue bury her nose in her hair, warm breaths seeped through to hit her neck and realization dawned on her. _Or not._

"You're doing this out of pity," Sylvira muttered, the rogue snickered and her wounded pride demanded retribution.

"Yep. Pity for me for being stuck with yer loser face, perv." Suddenly Sera pushed away, her whole body crushed and flattened the mage as she rolled on top and over. _When does the doggy piling stop?!_ The archer plopped down in front of her, "You roll the other way and I roll on you again."

"You know," Lavellan waggled her eyebrows playfully, "You could just save us time and admit you want to be on top of me."

"In yer dreams, Syl."

"Actually," Sylvira grinned smugly, "I pinned you to the wall in my dreams." _Oh hoh,_ her grin grew as the razor sharp slits darkened and dilated, "So that's what you're into, and here I thought Fereldans loved doing the dominating." She propped herself up on her elbow as she looked down at the archer, "Get outta the bed, Sera." The bewildered and confused look was too much, she chuckled when Sera's mouth opened and closed yet no sounds came out. Her face contorted between angry defiance and confusion as she tried to decide which to respond to first.

"The fuck you kickin' me out for?" Sera whispered after some time, "You get outta bed. It belongs to me now."

"I'm kicking you out the bed," Lavellan leaned down and whispered in her ear, her victory smirk plastered on her face when she noticed the rogue shudder, "To fuck you on the floor."

"W-what happened," Sera gulped audibly and the husk was evident in her tone, "To 'wouldn't feel right' Syl?" The mage's eyebrows knitted together yet tried to ignore the emotions, _I need a distraction, and I'll be damned if I don't take advantage of this opportunity._ She ignored the question and carefully slid over until she hovered on top of the archer, leaning down and planting soft kisses along the creamy neck, _I need to stop thinking, drinking and smoking doesn't do it for me anymore._ "Syl…?"

"I need this Sera," Sylvira whispered with unexpected seriousness in between kisses, "I'm going to lose it otherwise. Please just… No more teasing, no more cat and mouse, no more games or pretending." She rose her head and stared into the depths of the clouded brown-green eyes before shifting her gaze, afraid what Sera may have seen in her own. "Let me fuck you." She couldn't bear to look at the rogue, ashamed she had to even ask, _pity sex with a drunk woman._ Frustration welled up in her, _I'd have never wanted this otherwise, but I need it now. In the end I have to resort to tricks with her anyways, fuck this is lame._

"Alright," Sera murmured softly after a long and tense pause, "If that's whatcha want." _It's not. I don't want you to agree, and so easily._ "Bed or floor?" _Fight me, make fun of me, smack me across the head for being an annoying perv with no mind for anything but sex. Play hard to get,_ "Syl? Look at me." _I don't want you to see, I can't,_ the dalish woman gritted her teeth as she forced herself to anyways, her citron eyes swimming with conflicted feelings. "You gotta earn it first, I ain't letting you have yer way that easily." _What?_ The archer grinned cheekily, "Never said it was gonna happen right **now** after all." Lavellan nearly melted right then and there, the surprised look on her face made Sera erupt in a fit of slurred giggles and hiccups, _what did I do to deserve you?_ The mage lowered and buried her face in the crook of the neck and shoulder, inhaling the scent of alcohol and saw dust from what was probably the latest prank, _we haven't done that in a while either._

"Thank you Sera," she breathed, "Thank you so fucking much."

"Y'know most people'd be pissed off with that," Sera grinned lazily, she wove her fingers in the disheveled wild hair and gently pulled the mage up to her face, "Yer into some weird shite, Syl." _Time to play and annoy her._

"Roses are red, violets are fine," Sylvira chuckled when the archer rolled her eyes and groaned, "You be the six, I'll be the nine."

"No you be the six, I hate the six," _does it even matter? Wait,_ the mage's eyes widened in realization.

"So are we going to… Then…?"

"Wot? No, I'm not that easy. A dumb poem ain't gonna do it, especially when yer honey tongue can say anything."

"What would do it then? I can't help but be curious as to what you're expecting from me."

"You already know Syl," Sera's eyes narrowed, "Commitment."

"Got it. Committing now," Lavellan grinned when the archer scoffed, "You know you're the one that gave me this advice: give her a chance, you don't know what she'll do until it happens." Sera's mouth opened and closed, small utterances and what was about to be a heated retort was abruptly cut off when the mage lowered and captured her lips. "Be mine Icky-Kisses," she snickered when the rogue glared at her, "You smack me over sweet stuff sooner than perverted jokes. You're into weird shit too."

"How the hell is Icky-Kisses sweet?" Sera huffed and pulled her down for another chaste kiss, the sweet tang mixed with lingering rum ate away a little bit of the mage's control each time. _Creators, how I'd love to say fuck it and rip off her clothes already._ "Just shut up and keep kissing, do somethin' good with that tongue of yours."

"You're drunk Sera," Sylvira commented idly as she lowered and planted another tender kiss along the freckled shoulder, "We should stop," another kiss, "Before this gets out of hand." She reached up and caught the rogue's earlobe in her teeth, reveling in the hitched breath as she struggled to ignore the turmoil within her.

"Make up yer fuckin' mind already!"

"That for you or me?" Lavellan snickered when she felt the archer punch her sides, "I'm getting drunk just from kissing you Vunlea." _We need to stop, I don't want to take advantage of her,_ her hand slid over and kneaded the breast through the thin shirt, the choked gasp threatened to undo her. _I can't stop, not on my own,_ "Sera, stop me." Nothing, the rogue shifted and tilted her head away to give more access to her neck, _what is she doing? What happened to earning it?_ The dalish woman swallowed the lump forming in her throat, her heart raced with excitement and her muscles quivered as they fought, her mind torn and still indecisive. She gratefully accepted the offer and latched on to the creamy throat, feeling the way the pulse thundered erratically against her lips, _she's driving me bloody mad._ "Sera…?"

"You never stop," the archer croaked out, "And this time I don't want you to." _Fuck sake,_ Sylvira's eyebrows furrowed in frustration, _of all times to tempt me with what I want most._ Realization dawned on her and she abruptly slid off the bed, _no, no, no… Come on! A desire demon?!_ "Syl?" Sera propped up on her elbows with a bewildered look on her face, "The fuck is wrong with you?"

"This is another trick, another trap," Lavellan instinctively stepped back and gathered her clothing, "I won't fall for it. I won't let you in," she hastily wrestled on the shirt, scarf and boots, _I need to find a way to snap out of it and wake myself up in these stupid dreams._ Her paranoia swallowed all rationale and when the rogue began to slide off the bed she stretched out her right palm, "If you don't want to die I advise you to sit your ass down, demon!"

"Oi Syl what the fuck is wrong with you?!" Despite the warnings Sera clambered off the bed, "Snap out of it!"

"Stay back!" Sylvira swept her arm and pushed the archer back to the bed with a gust, her vision blurred slightly and she gritted her teeth, _there it is, why didn't it ache earlier?_ Sweat trickled down her forehead and her stomach churned with nausea, _fuck, why does Cullen have to be nearby in the waking world? Didn't I order them all not to bother me in the war room? I need to wake up, but how?_ She glanced at the books piled on the floor near the desk and strode towards them, kneeling and sifting through as she struggled to read the titles, _if I stay asleep any longer I'll attract more demons in the state I'm in now._

"Syl," Sera sounded incredibly nervous, "Talk to me, what the fuck is going on? What the hell are you doing?"

"Shut up, I won't listen to anything you have to say demon."

"I'm not a fucking demon! What the fuck is wrong with you ye daft tit?!"

"You can't break me, you can't trick me," Sylvira picked up a tome and smoothed her palm along the cover to clear the dust, "Nor can you tempt me." She opened the book and flipped through the pages, her vision blurring more and loud ringing settled in her ears, _I'm going to kick Cullen's ass soon as I wake up._ She'd found the passage she wanted and spun around as she drew the pattern, her eyes widened and eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What…?" _Why is he actually here?!_ When something moved in her peripheral vision her head snapped left, her jaw slackened when she saw Uvun standing there, eyes wide with fear. _What manner of demon is this?!_ "Demons, all of you…!" She glared back at the blonde man and finished drawing the pattern but as soon as she snapped her fingers to release the spell, all magic had been drained from her in an instant. Her legs lost strength and caved in, she slumped on her knees and broke her fall with her hands, _weak, powerless, even in my own dreams._ Frustration welled up in her as blood leaked out of her nostril and plopped on the carpet, her jaw clenched tightly as she deduced the type of demon, _worse than despair and desire combined,_ her eyes fell on her bandaged left hand and the soft glow of the brand emanating from her palm, _pride._ When she felt a hand on her shoulder she instinctively reacted and pushed back, her head snapped up as she glowered angrily at the fake Commander, _I don't need pity, I don't need anybody._

 ** _Trust nobody but yourself._**

Forcefully summoning stray magic and ignoring the blood steadily pouring down her nose, Lavellan struggled when she'd been wrestled to the ground and yelped when painful pulses of anti-magic coursed her veins. Purple and black dots rapidly clouded what little was left of her vision and the overpowering dizziness dragged her consciousness to the darkness, the last thing she'd seen was Sera kneeling in front of Uvun and hugging the crying elven girl. _I won't fall for your tricks, demons, I'll never yield._ The black swallowed her and she drifted, alone in the darkness, _I will never yield to anyone ever again._

* * *

"I'm not entirely sure what happened," Commander Cullen sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "The little girl," he gestured to Uvun with his head, "Wanted to see the Inquisitor. After checking the war room and finding it empty, I figured I would check her chambers and heard shouting." After the incident, an emergency meeting was called between the advisors and companions. Josephine and Leliana watched silently, both women too exhausted to truly pay attention or think of anything helpful. Sera sat against the wall of the make shift bedding as she held the traumatized elven girl in her arms who had cried herself to sleep, _one thing to call me a demon, but it's goin' too far to do that to her too Syl._

"Looks like she finally caved in to the stress and pressure," Bull murmured neutrally and shrugged as he crossed his arms, "Happens all the time. It's honestly a surprise she's lasted this long after everything that happened last week."

"She distracted herself with work and research," Dorian added, "I haven't once seen her at the tavern nor in the garden for chess this week." The tevinter mage's eyebrows furrowed worriedly, "You mentioned she shouted something about demons?"

"Fuckin' dumbass seemed to think we were all demons," Sera spat venomously, "When I woke her up the first time in here she mentioned something 'bout a dream like that too. Thought it was another stupid joke of hers."

"She'll need to be watched carefully. With her mind weakened she's attracting demons looking for an easy prey and is susceptible to possession," the archer scoffed and her fingers itched to wrap around Vivienne's throat, _she ain't easy prey, heartless bitch._ "We need templars guarding her."

"Fuck that," Sera chuckled bitterly, "She'll be really pissed off then, and then it'll stress her out even more. That's the most stupidest plan ever."

"Pray tell, do share if you have a better idea." Sera's lips pursed in a thin line and she frowned, "Exactly, you don't. Sit there and look… Like you need a bath to rid the fleas dancing on you."

"Shut up!" _Fuck if I wasn't holding this kiddo I'd choke her!_

"Enough!" Cassandra slammed her palms on her war table, "We need to think of something, the Inquisitor is our only means of closing rifts and stopping Corypheus."

"Oh so that's why yer all excited 'bout helping her now huh?" The archer seethed bitterly, "What 'bout her feelings huh? Oh don't worry nobody else cares about those, right? Just coz she hides them and pretends she doesn't have them like Madame de Bitch over here-who doesn't have to pretend since she don't have feelings anyways-don't mean Syl's like that."

"If it's stress that is getting to her," Dorian interjected before another argument broke out, "Why don't we help her have a good time then?"

"Boss plays most of the time, with all of the crap that's been piling on her and slaving away at work that's too much sudden change for her..." Bull nodded in agreement, "If she goes back to her usual routine she'll feel better. So let's think of what her usual is," the companions smirked as they exchanged glances with each other then stared at Sera, _huh?_

"Why the hell you all lookin' at me for?"

"Wicked Grace with Sera," Varric spoke first.

"And losing all the time," Blackwall added, "Don't forget drinking with Sera."

"Smoking," Cole murmured quietly in hopes he wouldn't upset those with his presence, "With Sera."

"Flirting with Sera." Bull thought on that for a second, "Wait, Boss flirts with anything that moves."

"Getting smacked by Sera," Dorian quipped and chuckled, "And liking it."

"Okay, okay!" The archer sighed frustratedly and rose her hand to signal them to stop, "I get yer point, you want me to cheer her up! Lazy fuckin' bastards."

"It is imperative that you make her feel comfortable," Solas advised, "If it feels unnatural, she will see through you and it may backfire on you instead." _Then she'll push me even farther away._ Sera grumbled and her eyebrows knitted together in thought, _what the hell am I s'posto do though?_

"Y'know I already tried all that crap with her and look what happened?" She looked up and noted the confused looks, "Wot? I woke her up and dragged her to her room so we could play and drink, figured she could loosen up a little. What the fuck do I do if she screams 'demon' shite and flings me around again?" Everybody exchanged unsure glances then shrugged as they began to filter out of the war room, "Oi what the fuck?! Where are you all going?!" _Do they actually even care 'bout Syl?!_

"I'm sure you'll figure it out Sera," Bull gave her a thumbs up, "You know her best, have fun!" _Friggin' arseholes leaving me to fend for myself!_ Sera let out an exasperated groan and her head hung low, she worriedly watched Uvun still heavily asleep in her lap with crease lines embedded in her forehead and dried tear streaks. _Looks like Syl in the carriage,_ she smoothed the ample bangs back from the child's face, _kiddo shouldn't be making faces like this, too young._ Her head lulled back and she rested against the wall, _gotta think 'bout what to do for her too, Syl keeps avoiding her or just real short with 'er. Selfish idiot don't realize she's hurting the kiddo and herself._

Sera sighed again and slumped down a little more, "Operation save the fucking dumbass part two..." _Drinking, cards, flirting and kissing made her blow up. Even if I dragged her to the tavern and dared her to make people blush that'll suck for me, and this kiddo can't see that shite either._ She glared at the door, _friggin' arseholes, you all better watch yer backs and-_ suddenly she grinned when an idea hit her head, _pranks? What if I asked Syl to prank them with me? But then I'll end up tellin' her why by accident or somethin', shit!_ She groaned out loud, "This is friggin' bullshit. What the hell am I s'posto do…?" _What else would she like? Books?_ She frowned, _fuckin' boring, she'd just laugh in my face or play it off like she don't like 'em._ _Least she'd laugh…_ An idea suddenly hit her and she nearly jumped up in excitement, _that's it!_

 ** _Promise you really won't laugh?_**

* * *

"Look kiddo I promise she'll be alright soon alright?" Sera knelt down and reassuringly patted Uvun's head, "She's just not feeling well, she caught a cold and it does funny shi-crap to her head, yeah? I'm off to take care of her, go play with the other kiddos for now alright?"

"Alright..." The elven girl looked at her skeptically, "Will Big Sis really be okay soon? She's always running away from us."

"Don'tcha worry 'bout it, she'll-"

"She's not leaving is she? She won't abandon us? She's all I have now..." The archer's eyebrows knitted in concern and her emotions waged war inside her, she thought Uvun deserved an explanation as to why Sylvira was desperately trying to avoid her specifically.

"She's..." Sera forced a reassuring grin and ruffled the young girl's hair, "She's not going anywhere. Tell ya what after she gets better the three of us will… Do somethin' I dunno yet, but sounds good innit?" Uvun nodded and fixed her disheveled hair when the rogue rose, "Go on, go play with uh… That fancy lookin' girl."

"Grâce?"

"Yeah sure her," Sera nearly melted in relief and sighed tiredly, she gritted her teeth as soon as the young girl happily spun on her heel and ran, reassured that her 'Big Sis' was going to be okay. _Making me deal with this shite, forcing me lie and make up rubbish. Yer gonna snap outta it then pay for this Syl, enough of this bullshit it ain't only 'bout you._ The rogue marched towards Lavellan's chambers, her vague idea gradually forming into a plan with each step taken, _first drag her arse right outta the bed whether she likes it or not. Second smack her for calling me a demon, third smack her for calling the kiddo a demon, and fourth smack her for saying we're all demons._ She couldn't remember the fifth idea but she figured she'll know soon enough, she opened the door and stormed up the stairs, _what the fuck?_ She blinked in confusion when she rounded the corner, Sylvira was standing at her desk with her back facing the archer, and Sera could have sworn she saw some sort of flash from the hand-mirror the woman held. "Syl?"

Lavellan slammed the mirror on the desk and the rogue looked outside, _oh must've been the sun's reflection, shit that scared the crap outta me for a sec I thought she really was possessed._ The mage whirled around with a forced smile, _why's she seem nervous?_ "Yo, Vunlea..." _Oh right._

"You remember don't you?" _Jackpot._ Sera grinned evilly as the guilt flashed on the woman's face, "You know what's going to happen… Don't you?" _So if she figured it out now, why not before?_

"Punishment," Sylvira gulped audibly when the archer nodded and slowly sauntered towards her, "Is it perhaps for the right reason by any chance?"

"Fuck no." Sera closed the distance and grabbed on to the scarf, tightening her grip as she pulled the tall woman down to her level, "What the fuck was that ye daft tit?! I told you I'd stripe you up if you attacked me again, why the hell didn't you realize what the fuck was going on?!"

"I don't know!"

"Bullshit!" The archer slammed her against the desk, "You flung me like I'm some fuckin' toy, screamin' to the ceiling how everyone is a fuckin' demon and you think you can just hide here?! Quit being a fucking coward Syl, quit running!" She suppressed the shivers when Lavellan's eyes flashed dangerously, "A kid is crying her eyes out because of you. Not because of her family," Sera slammed her to the desk again, "But because she's scared of the family she has right now is going to abandon her."

"W..hat…?" Sylvira's eyes widened and she grabbed the archer's wrists in an attempt to loosen the grip on her scarf, "Sera, you know I can't be her guardian. It's not a matter of responsibility, it's for her own good. With what I've done, do you have any idea what would happen to her if she knew it was my fault her fucking parents and friends are dead?"

"So yer just gonna abandon her to the wolves then, is that it? Yer gonna leave her just like how they left you?" Her blood boiled with anger at the slack jawed look, "Fuck!" She let go of the mage's scarf and huffed as she whirled around, "Why the fuck am I in charge of knocking sense in yer head?!" She kicked at a pile of clothes and nonchalantly shook her foot when underwear got caught on her boot, "This is bullshit Syl! Yer just thinking 'bout yourself and nobody else," she spun back and faltered when Lavellan's gaze was directed at the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. The guilty expression and the way the shining citron eyes blinked rapidly made her sigh dejectedly, her anger now directed at herself, _fuck I ain't helping her none…_ One blink and it was all gone, the emotion dissipated and Sera groaned, _great job genius way to make her open up and feel better._ "Look Syl I'm-"

"I get it." Sylvira looked up and rubbed the back of her neck as she smiled guiltily, "You're right, so don't apologize." _What the fuck… She's actually admitting it?_ "Besides sorries are a waste of time," she strode to the rogue, "About earlier I… Don't know why I did what I did. I should have picked up on the signs, been able to tell reality from dream but… I really don't know why I couldn't." _Seriously? It's obvious you had a breakdown is all, someone smart like you should figure that out easily 'nough._ Nothing indicated that the mage was lying though, and it seemed as though she genuinely was clueless as to why she lost control, _she really don't get feelings at all or somethin'?_ "I won't let it happen again," her smile grew into a hopeful grin, "Can I make it up to you?"

"Uh… What?" _I was s'posto be cheering her up, the fuck is this?_ She stared dumbfounded at the woman who simply stared back in confusion, "Sure I guess…?" _Don't get this, fuck it my head's hurting too much,_ "Whatcha got in mind?"

"Not sure yet," Lavellan looked around, "I had business I wanted to take care of s-"

"Nope." Sera crossed her arms, "You needa take a break from work, it's too much for ya."

"It's not work per say," the mage smirked arrogantly, "Another hobby of mine, though this one is okay for people to know if you blabbed by accident." _Huh?_ She strode to her desk and gathered random papers strewn about, "Two of my latest ideas, here," she handed the pages to the archer who hesitantly took them, her eyebrow risen in confusion at the sudden change of demeanor. _Is she okay or what? I don't get this._ Still, nothing seemed amiss and she shrugged then looked down, _what the...?_

"Syl it's just a buncha lines with numbers, what the fuck is this?"

"Schematics," Lavellan pointed and dragged her finger along the lines, following the tracing of what looked to be a bucket, "Sometimes I like to think of new things, like inventions you know? Especially ones I'll get to use, like this one."

"Uh hate to break it to ya," Sera pursed her lips and struggled not to laugh, "But there's plenty o' buckets around Syl, this one ain't nothing new."

"No no, take a look here," the dalish woman pointed beside the bucket and followed the line down, the sketch seemed to resemble a chain of some sort and at the bottom was another larger bucket. _I don't fucking get this at all… What the fuck is this?_ "Gatsi is working on it, so far our issues as it stands right now is how to redirect the water to come here, maybe an aqueduct? I've been thinking of asking Dagna if it would be possible to enchant the actual stone and perhaps push the water, like my gravity magic right? Not really sure if it's a viable solution but so far it's all I've got." As the mage continued to ramble possible issues and solutions, Sera nodded dumbly and looked up, _she looks really serious about this._

Sylvira continued tracing different lines of objects she'd drawn and would mumble about the numbers being wrong, and Sera couldn't help but stare in awe at the look of concentration as the woman thought things through out loud. _She's a bigger bookie than I thought._ She'd zip from idea to idea and the rogue couldn't keep up, instead she opted to keep nodding and smiled meekly, pretending she understood when she had absolutely zero clue despite the explanations. _Looks like she's excited about this,_ she looked back down at the schematic, _water and buckets, what's so exciting 'bout it though?_ She steeled herself as she shuffled the pages to look at the other schematic and reluctantly asked.

"And? What's this one about?" Sera tilted her head in confusion and her eyebrows furrowed, _books,_ _lots of them, and what's this big arse hole in the middle?_ "Tons o' books around too luv, you needa-"

"Oh no that's the library downstairs on the vault level." Again Lavellan shot off on numerous explanations as she traced the drawing with her fingers, pointing at different lines to show and tell the rogue what it was about. _Right. Still no clue._ "Actually now that I think about it-" _she thinks too damn much but doesn't feel a whole lot,_ "It's good I'm showing you this, good reminder." Sylvira spun on her feet and searched through more of the scattered papers strewn about, "Gatsi should be setting up the explosives soon and-"

"Wait, wait, wait, **what**?!" The dalish woman stared blankly at her as if confused what was wrong with her casual statement, _is she not fucking listening to herself?!_ "Uh hello~ explosives and really old fucking fortress, Syl? Is asking for trouble another hobby of yours?"

"Oh," Lavellan grinned, "It'll be alright, Gatsi's got it under control. Or at least I hope he does, he's supposedly the expert on this kinda crap."

"You **hope** he does?!"

"It'll be okay! I think."

"You **think**?!"

"C'mon it's not so bad, besides I'm just messing with you." Sylvira strode back to her and gingerly plucked the schematics from her hands, "In any case, I should probably warn people they may be hearing big booms and bangs sometime soon. Maybe put up some do not enter signs so Gatsi doesn't blow people up too… That'd be slightly troublesome." _Slightly_ _?_

"Now there's a bloody good idea I fucking get," Sera scoffed and the mage chuckled, she crossed her arms and shifted to lean on one leg, "So? Where's this big boom gonna be? I only listened to half the shite you blurted out, you talk real fuckin' fast when you wanna."

"The library downstairs, I'm planning to construct a hidden entrance of a sort," Lavellan attempted to organize the papers before tossing them on the desk without a care anyways, "But this is a secret between you and me." _Hardly a secret with a big fucking explosion._ "It's going to be my little place to hide from stupid people," she smirked arrogantly, "Good idea right?"

"Yer gonna blow up the fuckin' fortress… For a place to hide?"

"Well when you put it like **that** it sounds really stupid." Sylvira gave a sort of half shrug, "It'll be my secret place to do whatever I want whenever I want."

"The hell would ya lock yourself up alone for?" Sera's eyes honed in with skepticism when the mage laughed nervously, "Yer always out talkin' to people, playing games or doing Inquisitor shite. This just don't make sense Syl, and it's the first time I heard of this sorta rubbish. Makes me wonder if-"

"So doubtful. Perhaps it's the first you've heard of it but I've been working on these things on and off since Haven. And before you ask why I haven't told you, drinking at the tavern isn't exactly a suitable time to bust out schematics and rough drawings to discuss my latest ideas with someone like you. Should I strike a pose and shout 'lo and behold the Inquisitor is a magnificent inventor' next time?"

"Whaddya mean by 'someone like me' huh?" She purposefully ignored the sarcastic jab at the end, "Calling me stupid?"

"What? No where the hell did that come from?" Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "You don't exactly strike me as the type who'd care about this shit is what I meant. Evident by you so obviously zoning out and pretending you understand by nodding with a bored look in your eyes." _Shit so she figured it out anyways._ "Which simply proves my point." She tugged on her scarf to loosen it up a little then shoved her hands in her pockets, "In any case I can't remember what I was supposed to do, so what do you wanna do? Must've come here for something other than to smack me."

"Nope, that's all I came for," Sera teased and grinned when the woman visibly deflated, she looked outside where the sun was just beginning to set, _good timing._ She gestured to the balcony with a jerk of her head, "I wanna look at the stars again," _her bookie thing works too, didn't she say she liked drawing the whatevers in the sky?_

"I see..." _What the?_ "Vunlea, is there any particular reason you're suddenly wanting to do things with me today? Things that suspiciously revolve around distracting me on purpose?" _Oh shit... For someone who acts like an idiot she sure is sharp._

"Look Syl," _she'll figure it out anyways, might as well spit it out._ "You been working so much that you've lost it, all that stress and tension's easy to see just by looking at your shoulders."

"I have **not** lost it," Lavellan gritted out, "A couple of dreams does not-"

"You fucking used yer magic on me Syl! You didn't even realize what the fuck was happening, **you**! You shoulda seen that bullshit from a mile away," _fuck her friggin' pride!_ The archer frantically mussed up her hair as she stomped to the balcony, "Fuck, I give up already. Yer just gonna push me away, pretend everything's well and good. It can't just be simple for once, lay down and look at the stupid stars so you can actually friggin' smile again instead of that fake shite." She sarcastically drawled, "But nope, no that's bad. Really bad. Real smiles, we don't do that here. They're a fuckin' sin or somethin' like that. Fuck," she let out a frustrated sigh, "This is pissing me off Syl, why-" she tensed when she felt arms wrap around her waist and glanced over her shoulder, the mage's gaze seemingly aimed at the distant mountains.

"Thank you," Sylvira murmured softly and rested her chin on top of Sera's head, _huh?_ "Despite what I did, you still want to cheer me up. And it finally occurred to me," she squeezed in the embrace and stood closer, fully pressing herself against the archer's back, "It's always been like this, us. Even when we fight, we stick together and move on like nothing ever happened. Even if I piss you off, you come back. Why?"

"Even with me you **still** think-"

"I can't help it Sera, suspicion is the first thing on my mind with anyone and anything. It's the only way I've lived and survived, the only way I can figure people out and what they really mean. I've never trusted anyone but myself, but it's different now," _yeah heard that one before._ "And karma's been a real jerk lately," she chuckled quietly, "It's hard to believe the bundle of too-good-to-be-true that I'm holding is genuine." Before Sera could protest she tensed when she felt soft lips press to the back of her neck, a spark traveled along her spine and she clenched her teeth, _fuck this always happens._ "But like you said, I must have done something right at least once in my life. I don't know what that is but I intend to change that," Lavellan pulled away and strode inside, _what the where'd she go?_ Sera tilted her head and looked inside, the mage reappeared moments later with sheets bunched up under her arm and a bottle of wine. She grinned and lilted playfully, "Could I interest you with some old fashioned sex-I mean wine, milady?"

 _This daft tit…_ The rogue mirrored her grin and gave a shake of her head, " **This** again?" _She switches like the fuckin' wind, but she really seems alright._

"What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic with a-"

"Dirty mind."

"Sexy imagination," Sylvira chuckled at the eye roll and set the bottle against the wall, using her magic to levitate and straighten the sheets, "Actually," until she had suddenly flung them to the wall, _uh…?_ "Might be a little uncomfortable sleeping on stone and cold too, gimme a minute I got an idea."

"Oh yeah yer right," Sera scratched her head and suppressed the shivers of the chilly air as best she could, "Shite didn't really think this star thing through." _Maybe bring the mattress over?_ Her eyebrows rose in confusion when the dalish woman suddenly smirked and disappeared back inside again, "Syl the fuck..." Her eyes widened and her jaw slackened when Lavellan returned, "Are you… Doing…?" _Or a whole fucking bed,_ she'd stepped to the side to create more space and to avoid being flattened by the bed.

Levitating in the air.

"Uh..." Her eyes snapped to the mage and she noted the visible signs of fatigue, "Take a break before you get a nose bleed all over the sheets." _So lifting shite heavier than her even with magic makes her tired? The fuck is she gonna do when she has to fight a fat arse like Bull?_

"That's what you're worried about?" Lavellan laughed weakly and abruptly set the bed down, wincing at the loud clang as she turned around with a tired smile, "Thanks Vunlea, I feel the love." _Uh huh. 'Love'._ She grabbed the bottle then plopped on the bed as she popped the cork, "You know this isn't such a bad idea actually."

"Yeah, only really fucking crazy but no big deal," Sera joked and poked out her tongue when the mage smirked up at her, "Nothing new for us."

"The usual, right?" Sylvira patted the spot beside her, "What are you waiting for?"

"Aren't you forgetting something?" She snickered when the woman looked down at herself, "I'm guessing yer thinking something along the lines of 'unfortunately for me I still have my clothes on', am I close?"

"You know me too well," Lavellan beamed with an impish grin, "Uh… Wine glasses? Can't we just drink from the bottle though?"

"What? Pfft no, who cares 'bout glasses? We ain't like Madame de Bitch," _thank friggin' Andraste for that._ Sera head back inside then opened the desk drawers and called out, "Where's that shite you use to draw stuff?"

"Uh, I think bottom left drawer of my desk, maybe? Can't remember," the mage shouted back, "Should be at the bottom somewhere. Did you want me to draw the constellation of people having sex?"

"Go fuck yourself," Sera grinned proudly when she heard the woman's carefree laughter, _much better._ She glanced up to see if Sylvira was looking at her then back at the task at hand, _for a sec thought she said it's at the bottom just so she can stare at my arse if I'm bending, that's what I'd do too anyways._ She opened up the drawer that contained the eyeglasses inside and her eyebrows furrowed, _wonder if she'll admit it or pretend it ain't hers,_ her eyes fell on a tattered journal beside it, _what the? I don't remember seeing this last time I poked in here._ She checked if the mage was looking and quickly plucked the book, opening the small clasp keeping it closed and flipping through the pages out of curiosity, _I thought Red gave me her book, did she start a new one or is this older?_ Her eyes widened as she read the last entry, _today?_

 _9:41 Dragon Solace Thirstday 30th_

 _I had that dream. That one..._

 _Is this what she meant before…?_ Her hands quivered and her heart constricted painfully, she was startled when Lavellan shouted out again, "Sera?" She slammed the book shut and tossed it back in the drawer exactly how she found it, "Are you okay in there or did you get lost in the organized mess of my desk?" She opened the one above it and thankfully found a cloth-wrapped piece of lead along with a spare parchment then rushed back out on the balcony, promptly shoving it in the woman's waiting hands and scooting under the bed sheets held up by Sylvira. "Finally," the mage teased, "For a moment I thought we'd get to act out a sexy scene where I sneak up on you and take you on my desk." _This is why she jokes like this, to hide, forget, pretend to be normal._

Sylvira leaned in and quickly stole a kiss on Sera's cheek, grinning smugly as she pulled away to catch the archer stare at her with a deadpan expression, "What? I can hope and dream can't I? Hey," the mage tilted her head and gazed intently, _what the fuck don't tell me she knows already, do I got it written on my fucking face?_ "Weird… Your eyes look a little different when the sun goes down. Fascinating," _oh there's that look again,_ "I've never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them." Sera sighed at the grinning mage, _she just never stops. She better not make me regret this,_ afraid the woman would catch on and figure it all out she swiftly climbed on top of Lavellan and lowered to capture her lips, knowing it'd be the best distraction.

 _Everything makes sense now,_ the mage joked in between chaste kisses, "I like the way you think Vunlea. This is definitely an improvement from the desk," she levitated the bottle and drawing tools back on the ground then fixed so that the sheets rested comfortably on the archer above her, _why's it hard for ya to tell me? It really that bad for me to know?_ Sylvira's hands slid under Sera's shirt and fingertips drummed along the small of her back, she didn't have the heart to tell the mage the bandaged hand made her skin itch. Citron orbs shone bright and danced with playful mischief, "Best idea you've ever had." _Is it?_ The chill in the air bit their exposed faces and as the archer lowered for another kiss, Lavellan murmured wearily, "This better not be another dream."

 _Where I'm a slave again._


	10. She Who Has Faith Asks For Betrayal

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** A few references in regards to my other stories and the Dragon Age series, have fun spotting them :) Shit goes down and heats up! I'm beginning to wonder if I should swap Humor for Angst until this Angst arc is done lol, it'll finish soon and the two will be back to normal. Or as normal as this pair can get :P Hang on tight for just a bit longer!

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Idrilla:_ Little rebel, literally 'a little rebel lives in her'

 _I'tel'gon'lan:_ Punk, worthless person (Syl intentionally lies with her translation)

 _Pala'lan, dhava 'ma masa:_ Go fuck yourself, kiss my ass

* * *

 **She Who Has Faith Asks For Betrayal**

* * *

 _Lucky! Today is the luckiest I've ever been, karma is on vacation!_ Not one to squander the miracle she's been granted Sylvira utilized every trick she knew for the kiss, her eager hands sliding along the archer's waist and paying attention to all the precise details of Sera's reactions. _Didn't that one book say something about the roof of the mouth being sensitive?_ She experimented and dipped her tongue inside the rogue's mouth, running along the palate and swallowing the tiny groan, _mission success!_ She had to stop herself from grinning and instead focused on the next technique, opting to suck on Sera's upper lip as her hands smoothed along the creamy skin under the shirt, fingertips lightly ghosting along the spine. Another groan, another shudder, the brown-green orbs clouded with desire while the citron danced with amusement and pride. "Wipe that smug look off yer face Syl," the rogue rasped, "Piss me off and this stops."

"As you wish milady, will that be all or do you have another request?" Lavellan chuckled at the eye roll and angry huff, her fingertips running along the spine as her grin grew, "I offer many services."

"Shut up," Sera scoffed then smirked, "You're such a loser."

"At the moment I beg to differ," Sylvira pulled her right hand away and gently smoothed it behind the archer's neck, thumb brushing up and down. _Something about the clavicle was mentioned too,_ she glanced down, _I don't remember what the book said to do_ _though_. Her eyebrows furrowed for a moment before she craned her neck to lower and curiously ran her tongue along the ridge, _what did I do when we did this on the war table?_

"Uh… Syl?" _Mission failure. Damn,_ "What are you doing?" Not wanting to admit as such the mage proceeded with the next plan of attack and nonchalantly trailed kisses from the collarbone to the neck, sucking a small patch of skin between her teeth and lightly nibbling. _There we go,_ that earned a hushed cuss and she felt the rumbles of a guttural yet repressed moan, _back on track, this I know how to do. She'll be screaming soon enough,_ she planted her feet to rest on the outer sides of Sera's calves, bumping up her hips to displace the archer's center of gravity as she rolled the two so she could be on top.

"Fuck," Sylvira groaned as the sheets got caught in the mix, "That went better in my mind." The rogue laughed as she furiously worked to untangle the sheets, "Lift up your hips for a sec they're stuck under your ass." Satisfied she'd gotten it all she draped it over her back and shimmied lower to Sera's knees, straddling the one leg as she rolled up the red shirt. Her eyes lit up at the sight of the toned stomach, "Well hello~ belly button, it's nice to see you again," she grinned when she felt a light thwack across her head, "When have we seen each other last? We've much to talk and catch up on!"

"For the love of-just shut up Syl," Sera huffed, "You're so lame." The mage chuckled as she lowered and pressed tender kisses, ensuring every inch of skin received attention. Her bandaged hand ran along the free leg, she nibbled beside the navel and simultaneously ghosted her fingertips behind the knee, _the book said that's sensitive too,_ a slight jerk and hoarse mewl, _sucks she's got her leggings on, won't feel as good as it could._ She smirked as she released the skin she suckled on and reveled in the tinge of red, _mine, even if she doesn't want to admit it._ Pushing the shirt higher as she scooted forward, she tucked her knee against the archer's core and grazed her canines along the sides of the ribs, arrogant grin back in place when Sera hissed. _All this exquisite canvas for me to play with,_ she pushed in with her knee and dragged her tongue along the curve of the hip bone that jutted out, catching the rogue off guard and finally forcing out a moan from her. The smug grin grew and the archer scoffed warningly, "Yer pissing me off, Syl." _There's something off with her reactions._

"Right," Sylvira forced her face back into neutral, "There we go, wiped clean off." Oh but the temptation to grin and laugh was certainly there, and Sera knew this all too well as she glared at the citron eyes bouncing with obvious mirth. "You know when you said you wanted to look at stars, I had a feeling this is the way you wanted it." _Does she want it?_

"Oh, that so." The deadpan inquiry was all it took to send the mage's control packing as she burst out laughing, Sera's eyes narrowed, "Seriously, is talking foreplay for you? That how yer a horny perv all the damn time?" A melodramatic gasp, Lavellan had her hand over her mouth and her eyes exaggeratedly wide.

"You've found out my secret!" _And I've found out yours,_ she chuckled when the archer sighed irritatedly, head falling back to the pillows with a frustrated huff. "Aw c'mon don't be like that, I only want to play a little bit."

"Then play my way, you always take so friggin' long!" _Don't lie to me,_ Sylvira rolled the shirt back down and clambered higher, lifting her knee away from it's nestled position and grinning when Sera groaned, "Are you fucking serious?" _I can see through you,_ "Make up your mind Syl," _I know you don't want it. So why are you doing this for me?_ The woman carefully maneuvered until she laid down beside Sera, their shoulders brushing together, _you didn't reciprocate, didn't cave in to desire._ "The one chance you get and this is whatcha do? I don't get you," _why did you give me that chance?_

"I decided drawing the constellation of consensual sex would be more enjoyable," Lavellan retorted cheekily, _I don't want you to hand it to me on a golden platter. I want it to be mutual,_ she levitated the drawing tools and fixed the pillow under her head as she looked up at the sky. It'd been tinged with an array of different oranges and purples as the sun continued setting, only the few of the brightest stars could be seen thus far. _I want you to enjoy it, I want you to want me._ She watched from her peripheral vision as Sera stared confusedly at her before shrugging and looking up at the sky as well, her nose tinged red from the biting chill in the air. _Which you don't, not right now anyways. Not yet._

"Before I keep forgetting," she craned her neck upwards and looked through the arch to her chambers, levitating a random thick tome from the orgy pile of books on the floor and bringing it towards her. She planted her feet on the bed and rested the tome on her thighs, using it as a hard surface for the parchment as she idly drew something without really knowing what sort of image she wanted to create. "I left a couple of reports on the war table for you. They'll be of great interest for you and the Jennies, you may want to take a look at them as soon as possible, before it's too late."

"What happened to no work and taking a break?" The archer murmured with disapproval lacing her accent, "You needa-"

"I've been planning it all for the whole week and before you dragged my ass up here in the first place, unless you meant no work for you. I thought you'd be satisfied," _for once._ She pressed the parchment with the heel of her palm, her wrist rocking back and forth as she shaded in the random shape while her free hand crossed over her midriff to levitate the wine bottle to her. She held it out to Sera, "In the mood for a drink?" _Is she in the mood for anything, or is she just going to lay there sulking?_ _Emotions are so annoying._

"Nah I'm alright," Sera let out a quiet sigh when the mage furrowed her eyebrows, _just what is up her ass this time?_ "These 'reports'," she turned her head and studied Lavellan closely, "Who do they really help?"

"The little people of course, I wouldn't have left it out for you if-"

"But they help you more, is that it?"

"So little faith in me, as usual." _It will bring in good coin too,_ "Just how big of a selfish prick do you think I am?"

"Yer like Madame de Bitch Syl," _Vivienne isn't as bad as you think, though you'd piss and shit all over my carpet if I ever said that._ "Especially whenever you tell me you got somethin' for Jennies." _I'm trying to do the right thing._

"It's different this time," Sylvira's temple twitched when the archer barked out a sarcastic laugh, "You know what? Fuck it," she ripped off the sheets on her side then strode inside her chambers, dropping off the parchment and tools, _she's not going to ever listen and do it even if I do it nicely or order her. Waste of such a useful asset, I wish I knew another Jenny._ "I use what precious little time I have to do something nice, to 'prove I'm serious' and it still blows up in my face." _Sometimes I wonder why in the world I even bother. This is nothing but trouble,_ she rubbed her forehead to sooth the coming headache as she heard faint knocks at the door. _It seems karma isn't on vacation after all,_ though she was grateful it had interrupted the _useless_ argument between the two women, "Enter!"

Perfume waded in and the click of heels made Lavellan's day, _the woman who can solve problems in her sleep,_ she grinned brightly and rose her hand when the woman climbed up the stairs and rounded the corner, "Yo, Josie." _Wow she looks like shit on a sunny day,_ "Got something good for me?" _Particularly the results I've been waiting for, I hope._

"One of the nobles you're scheduled to meet has arrived," the Ambassador stated tiredly, "Arlessa Esmerelle." _Checkmate._

"Esmerelle sounds familiar," Sylvira walked to her and the antivan woman held out her board, "I wasn't aware I was scheduled, however." _I'll still need to be careful with her though._

"You are now," Josephine grimaced and bowed her head, "I'm sorry, that was rude and unworthy of me." _You're not sorry,_ the mage shook her head then shrugged as she took the board, her head ached trying to make sense of the details written in completely sloppy penmanship, _she's usually got a graceful and flowing script. It looks like she wrote this while drunk off her ass._ She stole a side glance at the Ambassador, _she's tired and she's pissed off huh?_ She ignored the way Sera leaned against the wall of the balcony entrance arch, her expression nearly dripped of venom as her eyes flashed, _anything to do with nobles and she's got that sour look._

"You should apologize," Lavellan commented idly as she attempted to make sense from what she could read, _Esmerelle's been quite busy hasn't she? This should certainly be a profitable business deal._ "Next time I make my own schedule and I decide when I want to meet with people, are we clear?" She stole another glance and noted the antivan woman's twisted expression before she forced it under a composed and polite smile. _I'll need to try harder it seems._

"Yes of course Inquisitor," it was obviously strained and forced, "I was under the impression you'd want to see her right away since you invited her to Skyhold. My apologies."

"Cut the bullshit Josie," Sylvira shoved the board towards her, "You're not sorry about anything." _Why do I have to be the one to do this? So annoying,_ "You did this on purpose. Why are you wasting my time with trivial games?"

"Oi," Sera warned and took a step forward, "Lay off her Syl, the fuck are you doing?"

"If I don't call her out on it she'll just keep doing it," Lavellan stared at the antivan woman with a stern expression, _she's like a snake._ "You're petty and incompetent," a wince, "Can't do your job properly," an eye twitch, _I'm getting under her skin._

"Oi! Syl!" _At least stay to see before you get pissed off and leave, as usual._

"You're exactly like Leliana now," _mission success._ The dalish woman smirked with triumph when Josephine effectively cracked and glared back, her accent laced with venom as she ripped the board out of the mage's hands.

"Leave Leliana out of this," _so that's what gets her ticking._ The Ambassador fumed and her eyes flashed dangerously, "She has done nothing but slave herself away on **your** orders, and yes I did schedule this meeting on purpose. You need to be more responsible, you… You irresponsible woman!" _That's the best she's got?_ She turned sharply on her heel, "Arlessa Esmerelle was instructed to wait for you in the garden at the chess table. Shall I inform her you will be seeing her soon?" Sylvira crossed her arms, her smug smirk still plastered on her face as she glanced at the confused archer, _does she get it now?_

"Aye- _yoh_ ," the mage nodded, "And send for the bard to meet me at the entrance of the garden to provide entertainment for our honorable guest." She fought not to chuckle at her own sarcasm and Sera's scoff, "Hey, Josie?" Josephine glanced over her shoulder, the fire in her eyes gone and instead regret swam around, "How good did it feel to let it out like that?" The Ambassador looked stumped and she turned around, her jaw slackened in disbelief, _looks like people really do think I'm a heartless bitch. Ah well, gets shit done._

"Y-you… On purpose?"

"Yup," Sylvira shrugged and grinned, "You looked like you needed to let it rip and air out the steam, grab some sleep you definitely look like you need that too." Josephine bowed herself out albeit still in disbelief over what happened, "Anyways," she looked at Sera when the Ambassador left, _she's still upset as well, lucky me._ "Don't let feelings cloud your judgment Idrilla. In any case if you're not going to use the reports then don't touch them at all, I'll pass them along to Varric instead." She turned and waved her hand dismissively over her shoulder, "I'll be taking the Arlessa up here after our game of chess," she shoved her hands in her pockets and walked down the stairs, "I don't want to see you when I do, this is an incredibly delicate matter and I don't want you mucking it up." She grinned coyly when she heard the sharp inhale as she opened the door to leave, _I know what'll piss her off,_ "That's an order, Sera." _Mission success._

* * *

"Fucking bitch," Sera clenched her fists and promptly stormed out back to the balcony, taking all of the mage's tools and sheets then promptly tossing them over the railing. In her anger she tried to push the bed as well until she'd given up and huffed in frustration, stomping back inside and searching for more things, _that fucking arsehole, who the hell does she think she is?!_ She ripped open a drawer and took out all the tools and parchments, proceeding to the balcony to toss them over, _and Varric? Sure the big talker knoooows people but the Jennies are_ _way_ _better, she knows that! She better._

 ** _If you're not going to use the reports then don't touch them at all._**

 _Oh I'll fuckin'_ _touch_ _them alright, you won't ever see 'em ever again. You done more than risk breeches this time Syl,_ before she left Sera found every fancy bottle along with the mage's favorite rum and threw it over the balcony, reveling in the sounds of crashes and the echoes of glass shattering. _And I_ _will_ _come back here, and I_ _will_ _muck it all up too! Fuck orders! Who the hell does she think she is?!_ Her temple twitched when she could just imagine the mage's smug smirk and sarcastic smartass reply, _'the Inquisitor…?' Ugh._

 ** _Don't let feelings cloud your judgment Idrilla._**

 _Piss off! Fuck she pisses me off without even being here,_ the archer mussed up her hair frantically as she stormed out, _and what the fuck's Idrilla mean? Fuck her and her stupid nicknames!_ Uncaring of how loud she was nor the rude looks she garnered as she flung doors open to the point they slammed against the walls, she marched to the war room with the intent of antivan-grenading everything to hell. _If only I fucking had some,_ she opened the door and entered the war room, ignoring the memories that suddenly had an interest in haunting her regarding the woman. _This always fucking happens, stupid mind thinks it's funny to torture me with-_ the particular image of her half-lying on the table with Sylvira towering over her came to mind- _yeah. Shite like that._ She rounded the corner and picked up the stack of disorganized missives mixed with reports, _what the fuck?_ She thumbed through the pages, _ugh what happened to 'couple' of reports Syl? You tossed all this shit together like it's fucking salad!_ As she flipped through requests and missives she abandoned those on the table, her eyebrow raising when she found one particular report with notes scribbled underneath in messy penmanship.

 _Varric rational approach, will know the right people for the job. Sera and the Jennies will attack at random: undesirable result, loss in profit._

 _Would it now?_ Sera grinned evilly as she read the details and engraved each one in her mind as she mused on what she could tip off for Jennies to do. _Old Stark's Farm? Amaranthine lands, that's above Denerim right?_ Her eyes narrowed in anger, _what the fuck?! This bitch hired mercs to kill the farmers off so she can take their land without paying 'em! What the hell does Syl think Varric can do?_ She bit her lip so hard she nearly drew blood, she took the reports along with the other missives then rushed out as she ran towards the tavern. _It's the same bitch Syl is meeting too,_ she chuckled darkly, _she'll make a deal and I'll get to blow up her grand plan, even better. Can't wait to see the look on her face when she reads what us Jennies can do._

"Hey, you!" She recognized one of the couriers on her way to her room, "C'mere, I'm gonna write a couple letters real quick and I'll need ya to get 'em out on the double. Extra coin for it too," the soldier nodded, "Gimme a few minutes, wait here!" As swiftly as she possibly could, Sera sprinted up her stairs then tore apart her room for a spare parchment and whatever she could use to write. She sketched out several locations and offered the names of the farms with Old Stark's starred and underlined, then explained in detail what was going on and what ought to happen. _Attack at random that's for friggin' sure, kill off the thugs, save the farmers, and Jennies disappear. Don't get what's so 'undesirable' about that, she think Varric's people gonna chat 'em up and squeeze out coin or somethin'? Fuck that, they deserve to be dead._ After writing down everything she could think of and damn near praying things will go the way she really wanted them to, she folded the parchment and stuffed it in an envelope, not bothering with a seal as she wrote down a note and the intended recipient.

 _Sera to Paul_

 _Get yer arse movin' on this!_

Abandoning the rest of the letters on her table and grabbing her coin pouch, she rushed down the stairs and back to the courier, "Denerim, look for a guy with an ugly beard in The Pearl. Oh right his hair's as red as a friggin' orange," _that made no sense, fuck it,_ "Trust me you can't miss him." She opened her pouch and spilled the coin in her palm, "How much to Denerim?"

"Two sovereigns milady," the courier replied as humbly as he could, "Boarding is expensive there."

"Right? Friggin' stingy bastards," Sera plopped four sovereigns and fifty silver, "Extra to get there as fast as you can," she explained before he protested. "Actually," she changed her mind and dumped the remaining sovereign and fifty silver, "There, take everything I got. Don't take no other letters, that ought to net ya a good meal at the Gnawed Noble too. Oh wait try and save it when you go to The Pearl tell the bartender Gus you know me, he makes decent soup and he'll make it for free if he ain't gonna be a cheap bastard." The man bowed gratefully, "Go on, run like yer life depends on it coz everybody else's does!" The courier scattered immediately and Sera grinned, _just gotta wait an' see what happens now. Alright next stop,_ she jogged towards the garden and accidentally bumped into the bard Maryden when she opened the door, "Ow, fuck!"

"O-oh! I'm so sorry," Maryden smiled nervously and glanced down to see if her lute was undamaged then back at the rogue, "Are you okay?" _Fuck, exactly who I don't ever wanna be chatting up. Friggin' creepy,_ she nodded and was about to brush past, "Ah, are you looking for the Inquisitor? She mentioned if you'd come that she would prefer to be left alone."

"Right, got it." _Fuck no I don't, I'm bugging her._ "So where is she? Don't wanna bump into her by accident," _like you._

"She's already left with Arlessa Esmerelle to her chambers and requested privacy," _I get that, you said it already!_ "Um," the bard shifted uncomfortably and smiled like some lovestruck teenager, _oh for the love of-I don't got time for this!_ "The Inquisitor," she gulped nervously, "She told me t-that you'd like to go on a date with-"

"What?! Fuck no!" _What the hell is Syl tryna do to me?! That friggin' bitch, this ain't a funny prank! Setting me up knowing I can't stand 'er,_ she glanced over the bard's shoulder and noticed that Lavellan still sat with a woman at the chess table, _what the fuck?_ She glanced at Maryden, _why'd she lie?_ The bard seemed to be sweating profusely and she sighed as she spun on her heel, "Look you ain't my type, it's nothing personal. Anyways see ya later," she rushed out of the main hall without giving Maryden another chance to speak, deftly jumping off the stairs and landing skillfully as she continued to her next destination. _Can go on the battlements, sneak on the roof and eavesdrop there,_ her thighs burned just by  looking at the massive staircase leading to the battlements and she grumbled, _Syl's gonna get it for making me take all the fucking stairs._ Regardless, she pushed through the pain and ran up the steps then ducked along the low wall to ensure Maryden wouldn't see her, she peeked around the corner and saw the bard walk back towards the two women at the chess table before the roof concealed them all. Unfortunately, her plan to eavesdrop was more difficult than she thought with the distracting lute making it harder to decipher the words, fortunately with the way her skin crawled with irritation she knew it was a certain Idiot talking and groaned at the expected conversation.

"It's my win i'tel'gon'lan, just give up now." _I can just see the smug fuckin' look on her face, fuck do I wanna smack her right now. All that's left now is for her-_ sharp inhale, "Pala'lan, dhava 'ma masa!" _Not to believe she's lost, as usual._

"Checkmate, Inquisitor. I do believe you owe me a translation now," _huh? That's what they were fuckin' betting for, not clothes?_

"You have won the battle, but I have won the war," Idiot replied coyly, _still_ _cocky, why am I not surprised?_ "However a deal is a deal. I'tel'gon'lan, it means 'beautiful woman'." _Flirting with_ _this_ _bitch? How low can she go?_ Sera gritted her teeth, _that's why the stupid bard is here, drive me off, that it?_

"Flattery won't get you far with me Inquisitor. You know what I'm here for, when can we-" the rest of whatever the woman had said was muted out by Maryden's suddenly-loud playing, _fuck sake, this friggin' bard...!_ Jealousy spiked and stomach churning, the rogue knew where this was going when she heard the chairs creak and screech as they slid along the stone. _This why she didn't want me to come, this why she 'requested privacy'?_ She peeked over the low wall when the bard ceased playing and watched as Sylvira walked across the garden with the noblewoman, _this the fuckin' 'delicate matter' huh? You just can't stop fooling around,_ eager to go against the mage's wishes _and muck up everything,_ Sera crawled along the low wall and ignored the patrol's look of confusion. She ran back down the stairs and across the courtyard, breathing heavily as she climbed the set of stairs to the main hall, _fuck just a few more of these._ Thankfully she avoided the near crash with the bard again and brushed past her, ignoring the protests as she head towards Lavellan's bed chamber. _Gonna shove it in her face with what I done,_ she grinned mischievously and took a moment to catch her breath as she carefully opened the first door leading into the tower where the mage's quarters were. She slowly walked up the stairs, cautious not to make any noise as she opened the final door to the chambers and flattened herself against the wall then held her breath, "I have your silence?" _What?_

"Of course, a deal is a deal after all," Sylvira purred coolly, "Only if I get something in return."

"If it's women I can-"

"It's you I want," _what the fuck Syl?!_ The mage chuckled quietly, "But since I can't, this will have to do." Sera's heart constricted painfully, her imagination ran wild as to what the two women were doing and her jealousy nearly choked the life out of her. _That's it!_ The archer stormed up the steps, eyes flashing with rage and mind draped in a haze of blood-lust, her hands itched to passionately hug Lavellan's throat. When she reached the top of the steps her lips parted to shout and curse until her jaw slackened in disbelief, _no... Way..._ Sylvira's palm was resting beside the Arlessa's head and she leaned dangerously close to the composed woman's face, Sera just barely saw something dropped in the mage's other hand until Lavellan quickly hid whatever it was. _She was going to…?_

"Well now," Esmerelle smiled coyly as she looked at the archer, "Don't you think this is a rather compromising position to be caught in," she looked back at Sylvira who wore an expression of guilt and blatant nervousness, "Inquisitor?" _She really was. That fucking bitch,_ Sera's jaw clenched and her hands balled into tight fists that her knuckles cracked, the Arlessa laughed haughtily and ducked under the arm that trapped her to wall, "Our business is concluded. I have your word that you will not interfere?" _As soon as this bitch leaves..._

"Yeah," Sylvira murmured, her guilty eyes never leaving the archer's. "Keep an eye on the port, my contacts will ensure the goods will arrive shortly before you make it back to Amaranthine. You may wish to ask my Spymaster if she can send a messenger bird to inform the workers at the port of the cargo." _She even made a fuckin' deal?_

"Perfect, I knew you'd be professional and efficient in handling this," Esmerelle stopped at Sera's side and goaded the disturbed rogue, "Take it from me, the _Inquisitor_ ," she sneered sarcastically with the title, "Is quite skilled with her tongue." _If she don't leave soon, Syl won't be the only one beaten to a bloody pulp._

"Enough!" Lavellan barked angrily then sighed as she raked her hand through her hair, forcing a smile on her face when the noblewoman glanced over her shoulder, "It's been a pleasure doing business with you Arlessa Esmerelle. Give my regards to your Seneschal Garevel when you see him next."

"He spends all day in Vigil's Keep," she scoffed and made way down the stairs, "I'm glad I don't have to suffer that naive fool and his idealistic delusions of peace and order. Good night Inquisitor, I look forward to doing business with you in the future." As soon as the door softly clicked shut, Sylvira stepped towards the archer who immediately rose her hand to stop the advance, her temper boiling and her angry eyes emitting a murderous intent.

"Go on Syl, say it. Aren't you gonna tell me it's exactly what it looks like?"

"If you stay, I can explain everything. Don't-"

 ** _Let your feelings cloud your judgment Idrilla._**

"I **hate** you," Sera seethed vehemently and her eyes shone bright as they watered, "What's it gonna take for you to get how much this hurts?"

"Sera, _please_ just listen to me," another step and the rogue snapped, "I swear it's not what it actually looked like, or it is? It depends what you saw anyways, I'm assuming you-

"Shut the fuck up! One more step and yer getting a fuckin' dagger up your arse!"

"Sera, **listen** to me dammit! Creators this is where your opposite shit is annoying," Sylvira took another step regardless and steeled herself when the archer unsheathed the dagger from her hip, anger clouding her mind. The dalish woman remained composed and spoke calmly as she strode to Sera, "Everything I've done, it all has purpose." She bravely aligned her neck with the quivering blade as she looked down at the rogue, "It's up to you if you're willing to hear it or if you'd rather literally be the **Red** Jenny. Will you follow your own advice?"

 ** _Give her a chance, you don't know what she'll do until it happens._**

"Will you at least try to trust me for once?" _Wanna beat her so fuckin' bad, cuss at her, spit on her. She's like a fuckin' noble, worse._ "I'll be honest about everything, you can decide if you still want to kill me after." Sera's eyes narrowed skeptically but she sheathed her blade nonetheless, the mage let out a relieved sigh, "For a second I really thought you were going to stab me and stain my carpet." _Seriously? The carpet?_

"I **ought** to," the archer retorted bitterly, "Talk fast. Worst shite first."

"The worst?" Lavellan smiled sheepishly, "The first confession will have you passionately hugging my neck with your hands."

"All the more reason to start off with it then. Sooner I choke yer arse the better."

"You're sexy when you're angry," _fuck sake!_ "Any chance we can have angry sex first?"

"Syl!" Sera huffed exasperatedly, "I swear yer mom must've given birth through her arse, there's no way being this big of an asshole is natural." Sylvira laughed freely and the archer glowered as she crossed her arms, desperately trying not to smirk herself, _shite wasted joke… Been saving that one for her too._ Her eye twitched when the woman wrapped her arms around her ribs as her bouts of laughter continued, "Oi it ain't that funny! Spit it out already!"

"Alright, alright," Lavellan wiped the tear from her eyes and chuckled every now and then as she tried to calm herself down, she thumbed to her desk, "I presume I have you to thank for cleaning out my room?" _Laid back arsehole don't even sound like she fuckin' cares, as usual,_ "Thanks to that I didn't have to offer wine to the Arlessa. You forgot to throw out my secret stash of rum though, want a bottle?" _Fuck._ Sera pursed her lips and reluctantly nodded, _whatever, I need it now._ Sylvira gestured to the bed on the balcony as she opened the desk drawers to grab the bottle, "Come on, let's look at the stars and celebrate victory."

"Victory?" Sera's eyebrow rose, "Syl just what the fuck-"

"First confession," the dalish woman popped off the lid, "I manipulated you." _Ooh fuck was she ever right 'bout choking her._ She calmly strode to the rogue, a glimmer of guilt was buried in the depths of the citron, "I needed to, in order for you to use your Jennies. You did send the message right?" Sera crossed her arms and contemplated whether she should've lied to make the mage panic or not, she shrugged and nodded as she plucked the bottle then took a swig, _whatever, wanna know where the hell she's going with this. Better be for a fuckin' good reason._

"How'd you know I would?" _And it better help the people caught in the middle._

"You do the opposite of everything asked of you," Sylvira smiled with amusement, "If I were to try it nicely -which I have mind you- you wouldn't have listened." She walked outside on the balcony and rested her hands on the railing, her head tilted up and breaths puffing out in little clouds due to the chill of the cold night air. Sera hesitantly followed and her eyebrows furrowed, _fuck tossed off the sheets and I could really use 'em, friggin' cold out here._ "I'm hoping it'll have the undesirable result," the mage lilted playfully, "That is what Jennies do," she glanced over her shoulder, "Yes?" The archer shrugged then shivered from the biting cold, she took a few gulps of the rum hoping it'd warm her up, "Come here, I'll warm you up."

"Piss off Syl. Don't even think yer getting away with any of this bullshit so easily."

"I never thought that for a second. However," Lavellan strode to her and swiftly pulled the rogue by her free hand then circled until she pressed into Sera's back, _she's fucking pushing it._ "I'm betting it'll pay off," _that's some risky bet,_ "If all goes well the citizens of Amaranthine will be freed from one tyrannical and manipulative bitch."

"But you ain't living there," the archer retorted heatedly and struggled against the arms wrapped around her waist, she'd been pushed until she was trapped between the railing and the infuriating mage. _Is she asking me to smack her? Perv really does have a thing for it don't she? Loser._

"Ouch. You're especially sassy today," Sylvira rested her chin on top of Sera's head, "I apologize for the deception." _What happened to sorries are a waste?_ "It was my mistake, I had completely forgotten about the reports and I was running out of time. Pissing you off was the surest way you'd tip other Jennies."

"Syl I don't get it, just what the fuck is going on?" She'd been confused to see a rather fat coin purse in front of her face when the mage squeezed a hand under her armpit, "Uh… Okay what's with the coin?" _By the weight got to at least be over thirty gold, is this what the pissant gave her?_

"I'm bribing you for a lap dance," she snickered when the rogue glared up at her, "It's your reward for a job well done." Lavellan murmured as she dropped the purse in the archer's free hand, "I managed to steal that from the Arlessa with a shake of a hand and a smile, I make a pretty charming thief don't I?" She chuckled when Sera scoffed sarcastically, "Long story short, I took the time and liberty to dig a luxuriously deep hole for her. While she took her sweet time traveling to Skyhold, my contacts -smugglers I worked with a long time ago as part of a deal they had with the Collectives- are… 'Redirecting' a shipment of red lyrium procured from the red templars at the Storm Coast. They'll drop off the goods at Amaranthine's port, sneak the forged documents with Esmerelle's fake signature in her chambers implying the cargo is part of an illicit dealing with the red templars, and the Arlessa will be carried away by fellow Seneschal Garevel." _Okay… What?_

"I've heard of her but I ain't pay attention to what she done, who is she?"

Sylvira plucked the bottle of rum and took a swig over the archer's shoulder then gave it back to Sera, "During the blight she was an incredibly powerful Bann. When the Warden-Commander disappeared, Garevel had trouble managing Amaranthine with him being a captain of the guard previously. With no mind for politics, it wasn't a surprise when he supported Esmerelle's 'offer' to be Arlessa and asked Queen Anora to raise her station. Though the man's got the heart of a noble," Lavellan felt the archer stiffen, "I mean an actual honorable noble person. He sincerely believes in order and rules, playing by the rulebook to fight corruption." _Here you are breaking rules for 'im to catch her. It don't make sense._

"I don't get it Syl, why go through all this trouble when we coulda just plonked her right here? She's a friggin' whore, hiring shady mercs to kill off farmers and shite just so she can take their land but… Well just why d'ya actually care?"

"Politics Idrilla," _there's that nickname again, ugh._ "As I said, she was an incredibly powerful Bann-one of the most powerful in Fereldan. An Arlessa to suddenly disappear and have her body found in a river would have instigated bothersome and unnecessary trouble worth more than it should, you know that. She's incredibly careful with her illegal dealings because she knows Garevel would be on her ass and sick the Wardens on her since Amaranthine is still theirs, so everything she does is in a roundabout way to avoid suspicion. I hate to admit it but it took even me a while to figure out that the smugglers -who were paying the city guards for their silence- well… The guards were encouraged and ordered by Arlessa to pretend to be bribed, and a share of those profits went to her. She's hired someone else in order to find and hire mercenaries to kill off the farmers so that there would be no ties to her," she sighed frustratedly, "I had to commit a crime and frame her of an even worse crime that will give Garevel no choice but to storm into her chambers with the Inquisition scouts to investigate. Once they see the documents and the cargo, she'll be captured in chains and sent here for me to judge."

"And? Why do you care?" _Gotta remember to never piss her off, she'd make my death look like a fuckin' accident and plan it like this._

"Nothing gets past you does it?" Sylvira chuckled quietly and leaned back slightly, the rogue looked down when she felt something soft brush along her neck and noticed the slender scarf had been wrapped around her once, effectively tying the two women together. The mage shrugged, "I just wanted to do something right for once, and to right my wrongs so karma can take a nice break from pissing me off."

"Like what?" _And what about the kiddo? Will you make it up to her, too?_

"Like the smugglers," another sigh, "It was my first job with the Collectives, I was a stupid teenager, thirteen maybe? Doesn't matter," _Thirteen? Didn't she say the elfy clan left her when she was ten, where the fuck was she for three years?_ Her stomach churned and she fought off her muscles tensing, she grimaced at the bitter realization, _is that what happened then…?_

 ** _I had that dream. That one where I'm a slave again._**

"Amaranthine has a large port where lots of goods are shipped, and the smugglers in the city utilized it to sneak lyrium in. They had a nice deal with the Collectives, and instead of paying with actual clinking gold I was sent in, a stupid kid fresh off the-" a slight pause, "Well anyways," _what the fuck was that? She just switched, the hell was she gonna say?_ "Because the smugglers had trouble with their trade, my task was to help them out as the Collective's way of saying 'thanks! Here's your payment', oh the irony from where I've come and what I had to do as part of the 'job'. So, long story short, I did a lot of crappy stuff until eventually the smugglers didn't need my help anymore. When Amaranthine survived the darkspawn assault," _wonder if she was there too, heard lots died even when the good guys came._ "The smugglers rebuilt real fast and easy, eventually the Merchant's guild was out of business and the guards were being paid off for their silence." There was a brief pause and the dalish woman spoke quietly with the faintest hint of remorse, "Hence my fault."

"You were a kid Syl, doing what you needed to to get some coin and survive yeah?" _Like me._ "Not like you knew they'd turn into a buncha arseholes, or well, bigger arseholes." Sera looked up and frowned when the mage's chin slid from the top of her head to her forehead, "Oi." The chin tightened and she could see the cheeks puff out a little from the angle, "Loser." She smirked when she felt the woman's chuckles rumble through her as Lavellan squeezed her waist and pressed closer, lifting her chin and glancing down as far as she could see. "So… What's next then?"

"We celebrate while we wait for the reports, the scouts already have their orders and are just waiting for the Arlessa to return before they speak to the Seneschal." _How the hell is she able to plan this far ahead?_

"This is pretty risky Syl, what if one thing didn't happen? Or you telling me you knew it'd happen?" _What if I didn't tip and send for Jennies?_

"That's part of the gamble, it's like chess," _you think this is a friggin' game?_ Sylvira pulled away and took off her scarf to wrap the rest of it around the rogue's neck, "I didn't know though, no. I..." She gently rotated Sera by her hips and smiled, her citron eyes softened with something the archer never saw before, "Decided to say fuck it and have faith." _What if it blew up in your face?_ She fought off the grimace, _shite that's what I wanted to do to her and instead it was what she expected too…_ "Though I did know you'd send the Jennies," her smile grew into a smug grin, "That was pretty much guaranteed."

"Arse," Sera lightly punched her stomach as she laughed, _guess I shoulda listened in the first place, whatever it's her fault still._

"In any case," Lavellan looked at the bed, "You even threw off the sheets? Seriously?"

"Wot? I was pissed off!"

"Well yeah but what are you going to sleep on now?"

"Oh nonono, I ain't sleeping out here. My titties will fall off."

"That's what you're worried about? Not the freezing to death with me part?" _Oh shit yeah that too._ Sylvira chuckled at the look of realization, she gestured with both palms facing the sky and levitated the bed, carefully moving around the corner only to abruptly drop it near the fireplace. _And not with you, hell no._

"Hey Syl," Sera commented idly as she moved for the side of the bed closest to the fireplace, "How'd you trick 'er to come here anyways?"

"I may have forged a scout's report and added some fake details of my own? May have," the citron eyes danced devilishly and a coy smile graced the wicked features, the fire flickered and bounced on the mage's face making her look sinister. "And I sent an invitation for her to come speak to me to strike a deal that would be mutually beneficial for the both of us. Keep that fat coin purse a secret, and buy me a fucking drink at least once this time."

"Jeez," Sera raked her hand through her hair, "All yer missing right now is the evil magister laugh." Her head snapped to the woman when she thought for a moment Lavellan's eyes flashed, _oh no just the fire, shite that friggin' scared me._ "So yer guys work when she comes here, my guys work while she goes back to keep little people safe in case things go tits up?"

"You got it," _no wonder she lost it if this was the kinda crap she was doing while tryna help the kids._ Sylvira plucked the bottle of rum and took a swig before giving it back, "Everything is going according to plan." _She'd send the poncy farts in Orlais running, big head is getting too big._

"Any other sneaky planny shite you got up yer sleeve? I wanna know this rubbish up front insteada being tricked again Syl, that fuckin' sucked." Her eyes narrowed angrily, "You owe me lots for this. I ain't like Ruffles or Red, and I ain't like other people you can play with when it suits ya."

"I've plans to earn your forgiveness," Lavellan stated seriously, "Though I'd rather hear your thoughts on how you'd like me to make it up to you." The archer stared skeptically, _she'll do anything I ask?_ "A deal is a deal," the dalish woman shrugged, "If it's within my power-which it should be-I can get you anything."

"Don't want you to get me nothing Syl, no Inquisiting shite got it?" Sera patted the spot on the bed beside her, "You can't do what I want."

"Try me. Is it commitment again? I'd like to point out the fact-"

 ** _The both of us know what slavery is like all too well._**

"No, not that." The rogue waited until Sylvira sat beside her and handed the last of the rum over. "I want the truth. I wanna know what you were gonna say in the cabin when we were at that camp with the kids." Her eyes swam with worry when the mage stiffened immediately, the fire made her look like she was some madwoman ready to slaughter everything around her.

 ** _I'm a failure._**

"Why do you want to know." Lavellan's deadpan inquiry made the archer cringe, "Didn't I tell you? Keep the-"

"Past in the past."

"And yet you're still fucking pushing, why? It's useless," the woman abruptly rose and raked her hand through her hair as she sighed frustratedly, her anger rapidly escalating, "Fuck. Why can't we just celebrate with good booze and sex for once? Why's it-"

"Because you needa get it out Syl!" _I want to know what it all means,_ Sera tensed when she saw a flash in the mage's eyes, but it had actually seemed as though something  pulsed, _magic? She wanted to use fucking magic again…?_ Whatever it was had dissipated and been locked away immediately, the emotion shut off and Sylvira stared with a flat look, _fuck sake._ "Just forg-"

"I used to be a slave," there'd been nothing in her voice, it was monotone like the tranquil once more and the dalish woman continued to stare blankly, disconnected from what she'd been saying. _Why's it easy for her to say it now? Looked like she'd rather die when she tried at the cabin._ "When I was abandoned and wandered I'd been kidnapped by slavers who took me to the place where all slaves jump for joy and have merry grins." _Even her sarcastic jokes sound really creepy like this,_ Sera frowned, _I didn't want to find out like this…_ "Tevinter."

"Syl..."

"You wanted to know, didn't you?"

 ** _Shouldn't this shit be done oh I don't know… Naturally?_**

"Tell me!" The anger was back, _dunno if this is better than nothing._ "Quit fucking staring at me with those eyes, just like the fucking kids Sera! That's why I didn't want to tell you, I'd have rather been smacked around for being a perv, an idiot, a loser. I didn't want to be smacked with eyes of pity." Lavellan gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, another light blue glow pulsed inside her eyes, "You wanted to know, but you already fucking **knew** and yet you're still pushing me!" _What…?_ Sera gaped slack jawed, _she found out? How?_ The mage laughed bitterly and covered her eyes with her palm, speaking in between bouts of forced chuckles, "You're so fucking terrible at this it's not even funny."

"Well **sorry** I don't lie and trick everyone around me for a freakin' living! How did you know?!"

"I didn't," Sylvira's palm fell and her eyes shone bright as they watered only to be blinked away, "I fucking didn't, that's the thing." She smiled sarcastically and her eyebrows knitted together as if her expression alone was trying to scream at the archer that she was an idiot. _She… What? She didn't?_ Realization dawned on her, and she spat vehemently.

"You tricked me again." _Proves I'm right!_

"I only suspected it," Lavellan rounded to the desk and opened the drawer as she took out the journal, "When I opened the drawers to look for a suitable drink for the Arlessa I couldn't help but notice something glaringly obvious." _I put it in it's fuckin' spot, gimme a break!_ The mage turned the book around so that the clasp faced Sera and she waved it around, _oh fuck…_ The clangs of the clasp undone resounded in the thick silence in the air, Sera's heart constricted painfully at the weary and sad look on the woman's face. "I may be a trickster, but you snuck around my back first. You complain of trust yet give no cause for me to trust you as well."

Sylvira tossed the journal and the archer deftly caught it, "My old one is missing. Do I have you to thank for violating my privacy or is it the Spy _master's_ doing? Or was it the servant that stole my signet ring? Perhaps another defected soldier brainwashed to be a Venatori spy?" There was something off in the mage's accent, like she'd been borderline falling apart and about to go batshit insane. Sera guiltily stared down at the undone clasp, she couldn't bring herself to look at the dalish woman as her words sank in, _someone's always stabbing her in the back_. A disappointed sigh, "I'm at least honest for being a manipulative bitch," footsteps echoed in the archer's ears and she gulped nervously when she saw the familiar boots in front of her feet, "When are you going to be honest for being a hypocrite?"

Silence, save for the crackle of the fire and heavy breaths, the rogue's eyebrows knitted with frustration as she continued to stare at the journal in her lap, _I'm not a hypocrite..._ Another sigh, Sylvira knelt down and gently squeezed Sera's knees, "You always give me second, third, fourth chances. I don't care if I always look like the bad guy, I just want you to realize I've been doing the same, **we** are the same and," she cupped the archer's chin and rose her head to look at her. _I'm always making her look like the arsehole, treating her like one,_ "All this talk about commitment you've been nagging me about? It's not because you think I can't commit. You know I can." _Can you, or is this the pride talking?_

 ** _It's pride talking._**

 _She's right, s'much as I don't wanna admit it._ Sera tried to swallow to rid the thick lump lodged in her throat as the mage murmured wearily, "It's **you** who is scared of commitment."

 ** _Your own pride._**


	11. Checkmate

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** In response to Kathi9000 regarding the 'misunderstood for being an ass even though you want the best for people', I 100% agree with that though I have not personally experienced it as such, I've friends who have and it wears them down big time. I was also coming from the view of something called "Noble Cause Corruption" (police ethics term). Long story short, there are two views (of which with fancy terms but I'll try not to get  too excited and delve into something unrelated to the story lol). In a nut shell, Noble Cause Corruption is the use of 'bad' or 'illegal' actions/method to achieve a 'good' outcome, and is argued that the best [officers] fall to this. One view argues if one has good intentions but the outcome is bad, it doesn't matter so long as you had good intentions (while people may say that's useless and with good cause if a loved one dies as such). Thus comes the second view, where you do something inherently bad to ensure there is a good outcome. With Sylvira, I very much see her as a 'the end justify the means' type of person and is consciously aware of it, like when she was talking to Tao saying/believing 'this world needs more bastards like us willing to do what it takes'.

It depends where people sit on this in terms of that line of thinking, and I'm on the fence. I know some actions are considered immoral, but I also know it's necessary (however I'm not sure if I would be willing or able to follow through with such actions myself). As such, I personally think people like Sylvira are the **strongest** to actually go through with ruthless/heartless actions despite still having emotion (buried deep within) as well as morals, like Leliana yes? What I mean to say is, she is well aware of being a manipulator and asshole, she is constantly seen as such, called out as such, insulted as such, etc etc. She still puts aside her morals and goes through with the action to get the outcome needed regardless of her feelings. Most of us want paragons where the good guys win and beat the overwhelming odds, where there are flower fields the hero runs through in order to scoop up their lover in their arms, unscathed without any injuries and leading armies with zero deaths across a battlefield. But everybody knows that -unfortunately- the world doesn't work this way. Syl's thinking: In a ruthless world such as ours, one must be ruthless to cope and survive.

Me and my ramblings, I still got excited and delved deeper lol (I decided to delete the paragraphs to spare people though lol). **On to the story!**

 **Vocabulary**

 _[Elvhen] Idrilla:_ Little rebel

 _[Elvhen] Haurasha:_ Honey, golden. (Sexual slang and also a reference to ch.1)

 _[Sylvira Calendar] Freakday:_ Friday (freakday is an innuendo by the way, just like thirstday and all the others that'll be revealed in time)

 _[Thedas Calendar] Solace:_ Equivalent to our July

* * *

 **Checkmate**

* * *

Silence crawled on her skin, under her skin, inside her skin, everything crawled and she hated it. Sera had no idea what to say for words weren't her thing whatsoever, as opposed to Sylvira's natural talent to know precisely what to say if she wanted to instigate something specific. Her lips parted then sealed, small incoherent utterances of which she hadn't the slightest clue of what it was she tried to say escaped from her, her eyebrows furrowed and her expression fell with guilt, eyes swimming with concern and remorse when the dalish woman chuckled. "It's alright, Sera." _It's not alright, don't try to feed me crap and tell me it's flowers._ Oddly enough the breath was lacking it's usual smelly bullshit though Sera remained doubtful, Lavellan rose and playfully ruffled the archer's hair, "Does it **have** to be about commitment? Does it **have** to be some sort of term, label, where someone points at us and says 'that's them. They're definitely lovers'?" _What?_ Sylvira moved towards her desk, "I don't know about you but it doesn't matter to me, all I care about is spending time with you. Damn whoever thinks whatever it is they think, they don't think often in the first place." _Don't care what others think Syl, it's you sticking 'round I'm worried 'bout._

Pulling open the drawer, the mage seemed to hesitate when she looked inside until she reached for whatever object it was she was staring at. "Perhaps you haven't realized it, or perhaps you haven't seen it but... I've been committed to you ever since I confessed to myself how I felt for you." _What, herself? That makes no sense._ "I've not kissed another woman, not even that last 'girlfriend' who was more like a stalking slogger until I pissed her off so she'd get over her infatuation. The one before that was just creepy and talked about weird fetishes that even I was scared of, the one before that had stinky breath and well, in any case you get the idea." _Yeah, the idea that you dump 'em and move on without speaking to 'em ever again. That's what's scary._ Whatever the dalish woman took from the drawer was promptly stuffed in her pocket and her hand remained inside as she walked towards Sera. _No way,_ the rogue's heart thundered erratically when the mage knelt on one knee, _no. Fucking. Way._ "You're the only one I've done those things with despite us not even being 'together', on your terms anyways." _We're not!_ "That will change **very** soon though," she smirked and teased playfully with the intention of sounding like a psycho madwoman, "We'll be together forever because you already know too much about me."

"S-Syl," Sera croaked out, her eyes glued to the hand in the woman's pocket, _she's not serious right? It's another joke, it's got to be a joke._ "Uh..." _Tell her no! Tell her she's fucking crazy, this shite's serious it's not something she can just joke about, it really matters!_ She couldn't force out the words and part of her had maybe, kind of, sort of liked the idea of Lavellan proposing-even if it was just a joke again. _She's sweating a bit, and she's starting to smell weird. She's not fucking joking is she? Ain't you s'posto date before marriage?! She's skipping a whole ton o' important shite!_

"I want to prove this to you Sera, desperately so. I'll be honest I don't know why it is I feel the way I do about you, and I hate to admit that I don't have a clue. You know how I like to be a smartass with an answer to everything," she chuckled softly at her _rubbish_ sarcasm, _tell her no, before she pulls it out. This is friggin' insane…!_ The archer's throat was parched and her tongue felt as thick as cotton, "And so I have another secret to divulge, since we're on a roll and I've already gotten out the worst of them." _Being a slave's the worst for me to know? Her breath reeked a bit, I don't believe it._ "Promise me you won't tell anybody? I want to work up the courage and be comfortable about it before I declare it publicly." _Say no, shake head, no, no, no!_ Sera nodded dumbly, _ugh idiot what the frig is wrong with you?!_ Her heart leaped to her throat as the mage took out the object in her pocket and melted in relief by plopping backwards on the bed as she groaned. Sylvira chuckled, "I must say I quite enjoy making you sweat," the woman rose and towered over Sera, bracing one palm and knee on the bed as she leaned forward. She swung the glasses in her bandaged hand, "Did you think it was a ring?"

"Fuck you loser," the archer rasped out and Lavellan laughed, _why couldn't I fucking say anything?_

"If I were to propose, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?" She grinned with obvious amusement when Sera glared at her but couldn't utter a single phrase, "I'm physically hurting here Idrilla, it hurts to hold in my urges to make you the happiest woman in all of Thedas tonight."

"Shut up," Sera huffed exasperatedly, "You suck so~ much." She looked at the glasses waving in her face and cautiously reached out to them, taking it in her hands and looking at the mage, _she don't seem angry like earlier. Seems real nervous though, this means a lot to her don't it?_ "Syl..." _Dunno what to say though..._

"You knew about these too, didn't you?" A wince, the archer's eyes glimmered with guilt before she looked away in time. Her heart constricted with fear at the prospect of pushing Lavellan away for having snuck around her back, keeping all sorts of secrets. _I had to, she'd have never admitted it!_ "Yet you never did or said anything about it...?" Her tone was off, as if the mage was skeptical as she tried to figure something out, _coz bringing them up would have pushed you away farther._ A low sigh, she hesitantly looked back at the citron eyes and soft smile, _what's with that look?_ The corner of the mage's lip quirked up along with an eyebrow, her features conflicted between disappointment and understanding. "If you're going to do things like this, at least give me something in return. I don't like being screwed out of a deal," _she's all business about this, what the fuck?_ Sylvira scooted higher on the bed and hovered over the archer, "What else do you know about me?" She ducked her head into Sera's field of vision when the rogue craned her neck to look away, "Ah, ah, ah, you have to tell me the truth now. You brought this upon yourself, Sera. If you want me to confess it's only fair if you do as well." _Fuck._ "You have my old journal as well, don't you?"

 ** _I didn't steal it Syl. You know I don't touch shite like that._**

 _Yeah done real good proving that to her, I did. I'm like the friggin' servant now, shoulda given it back insteada keeping it._ Another flash of guilt in the razor sharp slits, another heavy sigh, "Look, if you're worried I'll get upset or scold you for looking I don't care anymore. I need it back." _That's what she cares about?_ "There are years of valuable arcane research and secrets in there that I can use to re-" an abrupt pause, "Against Calpernia." _What?_ Sera looked back at the mage and her eye closed out of reflex when a sweat drop fell on her brow, _why'd she switch again?_

"Syl, I don't get this. What the fuck is going on right now, more mind games?" _What the hell is she sweating for? It's still cold in here even with the fireplace._

"So little faith in me as usual," Sylvira pushed off the bed and snatched the glasses out of the archer's hand, walking to the table seemingly confident yet her left shoulder slumped. She tossed the glasses on top of the desk then turned around, "I'm being honest and up front, as I always am. No tricks, no games. If you have that book it is imperative it is returned to me at once," _never seen her this nervous before, why?_ _She's sweating a lot now too._ "Understand? I **need** it Sera, more than anything else. Preferably right at this very moment."

"Aren't you worried if I read it?"

"I know you have if you've kept it, why wouldn't you? I would have done the same, information is the key to everything," _what…? So is she worried or not?_ "So I don't blame you, and I doubt you'd have understood the contents anyways."  Wrong answer.

"Callin' me stupid?"

"What? No, where the hell is this coming from? You're always accusing me of something terrible," Lavellan instinctively grabbed her left wrist as her condition continued to rapidly deteriorate, "Unless you have magic I can't sense which is highly unlikely, then I meant I'm not worried about that in the sense of you suddenly conjuring up runes all over my carpet or casting spells by incantations." _By what?_ She began unwrapping the bandage on her left hand, "The book, **now** please." _I don't get this at all, what's going on?_ The mage bent down and sifted through the pile of books, plucking a tome and angrily shouting, "I said now! As in **now** , go get it!"

"Syl," still in a state of shock, Sera absent-mindlessly scrambled off the bed and began to walk towards the dalish woman until she had been pushed back by a weak gust of wind, "Oi! What the fuck is going on with you?!" Lavellan gritted her teeth and grabbed her arm, low groans escaping her and sweat steadily dripping off her forehead as she blinked furiously. _Why is she always pushing me away when she's in friggin' pain?_

" _Fuck_ why does this have to happen _again_ and now of all times?" Sylvira slammed the tome on the desk, "Sera," she fumbled blindly, "Shit. Not a word of this to **anyone** , understand? I need you to open that book, please," _what the hell is happening to her?_ The archer swallowed the anxious lump lodged in her throat and rushed to the tome on the desk, spinning it around and opening it, "Try uh, page 133, I think that was the one. Read the title for me," the mage rubbed her forehead and squinted her eyes as she looked up, they pulsed periodically with bright blue, "Don't worry." Sera chewed on her lip in nervousness, _yer in bloody fuckin' pain outta no where, course I am!_ "You won't accidentally cast a spell by reading the title, though just to be safe don't chant the incantation," _oh fuck, I didn't think about that._ The rogue's hands quivered at that and her fear skyrocketed, _right, just the title. I can do this, Syl need_ _s_ _this._

"Uh," Sera's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Mana c-cleanse to remove a-am-bi-ent energy?" _The fuck does this even mean?_ The mage shook her head and she flipped to the next page, "Null-if-ica-tion Enchantment?" _Fuck these words and magic makes my head hurt. Hers too, looks like._

"Yes! That's the one," Sylvira held out her hand and eagerly took the tome, "What the fuck?"

"Turn it 'round ye daft tit, it's upside down," realization dawned on the archer when another pulse flashed in the woman's eyes, _can she even see?_ Sera rounded the corner of the desk and tried to hold her breath, _she smells even weirder now and it's way stronger than before,_ she picked up the reading glasses and shoved them in the mage's face, "Here, these'll help right?" Her head tilted in confusion when Lavellan clicked her tongue in irritation, she dropped the book on the table and snatched the glasses angrily, "Syl just what the fuck is wrong with you?" _She still mad about the glasses?_

"Leave, Sera." _Fuckin' pride again? As usual._

"It's alright-" _if it's me isn't it?_

" **Leave.** "

"Fine!" The archer stormed away using Sylvira's lack of vision to noisily stomp down the stairs and open then slammed the door, but remained in the chambers. Immediately the mage groaned painfully and a series of crashes of things knocked over resounded in the room, _fuck sake why is she doing this to herself?_ Sera got on all fours and crawled up the steps, staying low as she watched from the corner in case the eyeglasses still allowed the woman to see her even with the distance between them. The lump of fear lodged in her throat once again and her stomach churned with nausea at the scene, _what… The fuck?!_ Lavellan fully unwrapped the bandages and the brand on her palm glowed, beneath the sleeve of the shirt there also appeared to be some sort of glow. The woman chanted something in a different dialect and immediately ripped off the glasses when it seemed she had finished the incantation, the pulses in her eyes reflected brightly, _probably hurts to have it flash back at her like that._ Sera chewed on her lip nervously, _stupid, she's obviously in alotta fucking pain everywhere._ Her eyes fell on the brand on the left palm, swirls of blue and green fought with the dull red that ebbed intermittently, the groans quieter and quieter as the agony seemingly faded away. _What the fuck happened? I don't get it._

Stiffening when she heard the faint knocks behind her, Sera inwardly cursed and kicked herself, _fuck you gotta be kidding me, I'm so fucked now!_ She clenched her fists, _another fucking secret kept from Syl._ She darted behind the wall and heard the hoarse call, grateful the mage hadn't come to answer the door herself, _never does, never thought I'd say this but thank friggin' Andraste for Syl's laziness._ "Enter!" Sera placed her finger on her lip to signal silence when the door opened and revealed Leliana, or what was left of the orlesian woman. Her hood pulled tighter, all the Spymaster revealed were the sharp and deep lines engraved on her exhausted face with piercing blue eyes, _she looks_ _pissed_. She glanced at the archer for a moment then shrugged as she nonchalantly continued up the stairs, Sera took advantage of the opportunity and quickly slid past the gap before the door closed, _wanna know why she came but my luck'll run out and I'll get caught._ As she rushed down the steps she decided to head to her room in the tavern to fetch the journal the mage seemed so hellbent on having back, _soon as she figured I had it she really looked like she wanted it back._ Her curiosity demanded why, _would she tell me if I asked?_ Her eyebrows furrowed and her lingering fear gradually dissipated over the event she still couldn't wrap her mind around, _that was really fucking weird._

 ** _There are years of valuable arcane research and secrets in there that I can use..._**

 _Would it help her with whatever just happened? That why she didn't wanna say anything 'til shit went tits up?_ She glanced over her shoulder before she entered the main hall, _it all happened so fuckin' fast, don't even know what the hell hit me. Guess it was the same for her too,_ she opened the door and jogged towards the tavern, _she smelled weird and sweat a lot though, like how she gets with templar rubbish._ Her eyes widened with realization and her heart raced, _no way,_ she looked over her shoulder, _fuck!_ She sharply turned on her heel and began sprinting back, _I'm such a retard, such a fucking retard!_ Her eyes watered and her thighs burned as she charged back up the steps of the tower, "SYL!" She screamed as loudly as she could in hopes the mage might hear her, "THAT AIN'T RED!" She tumbled through the door and clambered up on the steps on her hands and feet, "Get away, that ain't...!" She stopped abruptly when she rounded the corner and nearly fell flat on her face, _what the fuck, again?_ Sylvira glanced over with a blatantly nervous expression as she smiled sheepishly, yet again caught in a damning position of pinning the Spymaster's wrists above her head on the wall and leaning dangerously close to her face.

"Y-yo... Idrilla..." Hood pulled down to reveal it was in fact Leliana, Sera stood stumped, _I don't fucking get any of this anymore. What the fuck was wrong with her earlier then?_ "It's not what it looks like this time. For sure. I swear it." _Well yeah, pretty sure Red would-ugh this headache._ The archer sighed and rubbed her forehead in an attempt to sooth the immense headache, _fuck it, I give up._ She shrugged and turned on her heel, "Wait I can explain...!" _It's like Varric's shitty love drama stories._

"I already know Syl," she waved her hand dismissively over her shoulder, "Probably some other rubbish plan or yer pissing her off on purpose, whatever it is my head hurts. I'm bringing your stupid book and I'm hitting the sack after," before she left the room she smirked smugly at the quiet whispers of disbelief uttered by both women.

"She actually..."

"...Trusted you? Inquisitor this-"

Whatever else Leliana murmured had been muffled as the door clicked shut and the archer bounced down the steps, Sera snickered when she heard the mage faint cheer echo in the tower just before she entered the main hall, "She actually fucking trusted me!" _You're such a loser, honey tongue. Better not make me regret this._

 ** _I've been committed to you ever since I confessed to myself how I felt for you._**

 _Too clever._ Her lips curled in a large grin when she made it to the tavern, the burden lifted from her shoulders when slowly she pieced together the hints the woman left her. Relief filled her when she sifted through her room and found the tattered book hidden under the table, she figured Sylvira would never bother looking there if she'd tried to search in her spare time. _Did you figure it out, know this'd happen?_

 ** _Shit stupid why wouldn't you write down with who?! You don't even fuckin' know how to use a journal, loser._**

 _Did you do this on purpose too?_ She flipped to an entry with the folded corner that she had folded again herself. _You're cheesy like Varric. So lame._

 _9:41 Dragon Bloomingtide 27th_

 _I'm in love._

 ** _I have a sexy imagination! Big beautiful difference my love._**

* * *

Apparently it had been a mistake for Sera to say what she did, evident by the dalish woman's sudden hyper mood. After she'd come to drop off the book, Leliana -who looked more relaxed than she had first entered- had been promptly shoved out the door with reports still in hand and Lavellan dragged the archer to the bed. "Syl what are you doing?" _There goes plans to sleep._

"Leliana informed me the scouts are looking for someone," _huh? The noble whore or baddies she hired maybe?_ Sera's head tilted yet all she could see was the back of the blonde hair bouncing around, _something's off with her,_ the mage's tone implied it was serious whatever it was. As soon as she turned around to reveal her expression and pushed the archer on the bed, Sera rolled her eyes, _never mind, here we go again._ "Someone described as funny, sexy and great in bed. You're safe but where should I hide?"

"Arse," Sera chuckled and playfully thwacked her across the head when the mage eagerly jumped to sit beside her. _Wonder if she'll read it,_ she held out the journal and was surprised when Lavellan grabbed it only to toss it on the floor, _first she wanted it really badly and now-_ " _Wah!_ " The hyper woman tackled Sera to the bed and hovered over her, "Syl what are you-"

"I can't hold it in anymore, these urges," Sylvira breathed as she lowered and assaulted the rogue's neck with kisses, "You trusted me. You fucking _trusted_ me, just like that," she murmured in disbelief, "Why? Why all of a sudden, what changed? I need to know, I want to do it again."

"Look just- _shit_ -" Sera squirmed and the dull ache between her thighs flared to life when the woman grazed her canines along the collarbone, "D-don't think too much on it Syl." _She won't get feelings._

"Need to, I want to know," _fuck when she don't think 'bout what she's doing she-_ a sudden gasp tore from her throat when Lavellan tugged and nibbled on her earlobe, "Tell me." _'Bout time her hands are doing the talking instead._

"I just decided to, okay? Ra _uhn_ dom," the archer gritted her teeth and her hands instinctively flew upwards to weave in the disheveled jungle-like hair, she tugged at the knots holding the lopsided ponytails up. The golden hair fell and splayed around, occasionally hitting her face and tickling her nose as Sylvira abruptly moved from spot to spot as if she had no idea what she was doing or wanted to do. "Just like what yer doin' now," Sera joked, "So fucking random."

"That's all there is to it?" The husk in the mage's voice wasn't helping Sera any, her ache intensified and she'd been swept up in the gust that took Lavellan in the same fashion, desire rapidly clouding both of their minds. "No reason at all?"

"That's all," the rogue nodded and repressed a moan as she rasped out, "There is to it. Even if you ask me Syl," her hips bucked instinctively when she felt a knee nestled against her core, "I don't even know. Just felt like it." _Fuck does that ever feel good._

"Do you regret it?" Sylvira's voice cracked and she almost sounded desperate, an unspoken plea shining in the citron eyes when she stopped to stare at Sera, _what… The?_ She glanced down when the mage leaned back, the knee gone as she straddled the archer's thighs, _I don't get this switch._ She noticed the left hand had been haphazardly bandaged up in a rush, the other smoothing along her stomach and the thumb hooked at the rim of her shirt.

"I don't get this, what are you really asking Syl?"

"Will you regret it if I touch you?" Sera's jaw slackened, her lips parted then sealed as her bitter pride almost answered for her. "I need to know if you regret it or think you will."

 ** _And it… Wouldn't feel right without you knowing first._**

"I dunno, y'know I don't think 'bout this shite too much. Yer asking for the impossible luv," she teased lightheartedly, "I can't see the future like you do." The dull headache surfaced again as she tried to figure out what the hell was going on but gave up, she leaned up and looped her arms around the woman's neck, roughly pulling her down. Caught off guard, Lavellan ungracefully crashed down on her and the two groaned in pain, "Ow… But I regret that," as soon as the mage propped herself up on her elbows Sera sought out her mouth and captured her lips. _I don't get it, she was scared of doing this then? But she's always fuckin' starting and pushing for it, that don't make sense!_

 _ **It's different now.**_

"M-my wrist," Sylvira breathed in between kisses, "Think I sprained it," _oh right she fell on it too, shite that must've hurt._ "Bent weird when I fell on you," the woman leaned back and inspected it for a brief moment, "Give me a minute." She slid off and the rogue nodded then sat up, guilt welling up in her for her rash action. Lavellan's back faced her and she strode to the desk, the archer couldn't see anything except the bandages that soon dropped on top, the right arm tucked in front with a light blue glow radiating and shining past the mage's neck. Her stomach churned with nausea and she looked away as she contemplated on the question, _she pisses me off all the time, she's a weird arse mage, little elfy too but I wouldn't regret this. Bit scared of her leaving after, is all._

 ** _I've been committed to you ever since I confessed to myself how I felt for you._**

Doubts gnawing away the desire conjured from the heat of the moment, Sera whispered albeit still confused and uncertain from the question, "I wouldn't regret it Syl." _She knows I don't think 'bout this shite,_ the pieces she was given didn't fit quite right just yet, _she's had worse than sprains and never complained._

 ** _Pain is like any other emotion, it can be shut off when you need it to._**

 _Shouldn't just cut off feeling like that, ain't right._ The memory of her stitching up the woman came to mind, _she's never used magic on herself when she coulda._ Her head snapped up, _because she can't,_ her eyes fell on the tome, _she's always needed those for whatever reason._ Realization dawned on her, _she wasn't asking me._ "But you needa make up yer mind if you would. And quit pretending already, that glowy shite's making me sick." Her eyes honed in when the mage visibly stiffened, the golden hair falling to the middle of her back slightly shook and soft chuckles rumbled through the air.

"You know me too well," _why does she sound sad, isn't that a good thing?_ "You're right, I was hoping your answer would help me."

"Didn't I say no tricks? My head hurts a helluva lot thanks to you." Grateful the glow disappeared, the rogue patiently watched as the bandage from the desk slowly rose bit by bit, _she wrapping it back up then?_ She chewed on her lip, _she's always unwrapping then wrapping_ _herself_ _too._ "Quit thinking and start **feeling** Syl, you can't think 'bout sex. You either do it coz you wanna or don't coz you don't wanna."

"I wasn't aware there was such a choice," the sarcastic quip was laced with bitterness and Sera's eyebrows furrowed, _huh?_ "In any case," Lavellan spun on her heel with a forced smile, _worst is smiling to hide the pain._ "Evidently I don't feel it then, perhaps after a few drinks and a smoke? Or a prank, we haven't done that in a while together. I've a marvelous idea if you're in the mood." Slightly disappointed since she was surprisingly in the mood to say fuck it all and rip clothes off, the archer reluctantly nodded and squashed the urges, ignoring yet another switch. _Maybe this'll help her cheer the frig up already._ _She's confusing as fuck when she keeps changing like this, s'like the friggin' wind itself._ "Perfect, I suggest we make it  look like somebody had sex in Cassandra's quarters. We'll have to wait until she leaves it tomorrow."

"Wha…?!" Sera burst out laughing immediately as the scene played out in her mind, her urges had absolutely no problem being dropped as she grinned mischievously with the dalish woman. "White everywhere?"

A nod. "White **everywhere**. On the floor, on the wall, on the ceiling," _how would that work? Fuck it this is bloody brilliant,_ "But most importantly..." Both elves whispered in complete synchrony.

" **On the bed**."

* * *

With the cooks sleeping, the kitchen had been eerily silent in the dead of the night. Sera's eyes darted left and right in nervousness as she followed the mage who strode confidently, apparently undaunted by the atmosphere. _Feels wrong,_ "Ah, perfect," _is she nuts?_ Lavellan nodded approvingly at the signs perched up cutting off the area to the library, "Gatsi's hard at work." _Oh._

"Maybe we shouldn't be here? Y'know in case if he blows us up too, that sounds a little shitty."

"I'm sure we'll be fine," the mage waved her hand dismissively, _yup, her other hobby's asking for trouble._ "Come on, we need to mix this stuff then sneak it back to my chambers." As they entered the kitchen, Sylvira drew some sort of pattern in her right palm, snapping her fingers and conjuring a small flame to be their light. She held up her arm and illuminated the room, _ugh I know it's okay since it's her but it's still creepy,_ "You know this place best Sera. What do we need?" _Some friggin' torches or candles instead._

"You know this place just as well as I do ye daft twat," the archer teased, "Don't go blaming me when we do this all the time, you just don't wanna do any work you lazy arse." Lavellan merely grinned cheekily as she feigned innocence, "Yeah, no. Can't fool me luv." Looking around and searching together, Sera couldn't help but be glued to the mage's side to ward off the eerie feeling of the kitchen, "Fuck this place is creepy at night." Suddenly the fire went out and darkness draped them, "Syl!" The rogue barked and Sylvira laughed, "This ain't funny!" Something felt like it crawled along her skin and her fear skyrocketed, a thick lump formed in her throat the longer she remained in the pitch black nothingness, " **Syl**!" _This is really friggin' scary!_ It hadn't helped when she saw a flash of blue when she looked to the right, she immediately squeezed her eyes shut but her muscles remained petrified, "Syl," she croaked out nervously, "I just fucking saw something." Silence, save for quiet shuffling and boot clicks, "Syl answer me…!" She felt something wrap around her waist but before she reacted in defense, a small flame erupted to life in front of her face. She nearly melted in relief when she glanced over her shoulder yet snapped in anger, "You arse! What the fuck were you thinking?!"

"I've never seen you scared like that before," Lavellan replied calmly, "I wanted to see it."

"What the fuck, what for?!" _This daft twat did it on purpose, fuck I'm gonna smack her so hard!_

"So I can comfort you," the mage smiled softly and squeezed tighter in the embrace, before Sera could retort she continued, "And to find out something about you. Only fair if you've been doing that to me," _well… Shit._ "You're scared of the dark?" Lavellan carefully untangled herself, cautious not to accidentally burn the rogue with the flame in her palm then continued to gather whatever looked like something they might have needed. _The twat's got no clue, the fuck's the knife for?_

"No," the archer mumbled then looked away, picking up the whisk and setting it on the center table, "It's stupid, so drop it."

"Alright, dropped." _That's it? That easily?_ Sera's eyes narrowed skeptically and the woman shrugged, "What? I'm sure even if I prodded or tried to trick you, you wouldn't spill." Sylvira grabbed a large bowl and set it on the table as well as a jug of thickened stale milk, murmuring to herself, "Good thing they haven't thrown this out yet." She looked at the rogue, "I'd probably have to sneak around your back to find out." Sera winced at that and guilt welled up in her yet so did frustration, _not like I did it on purpose!_ About to utter her defense, she froze in her spot as she watched the woman's calm features contort and conflict with the pain buried in the depths of the citron, "But I won't. More proof for you, yes?" _Huh?_ Lavellan pointed to the sacks of flour piled up against the wall opposite to the furnaces, "Come on, let's mix this shit already."

"Proof of what, Syl?" Sera strode over to the pile and lifted a sack with ease, maneuvering around the mage from the tight quarters as she plopped the flour on the table. _Oh this is what she got a knife for,_ instead of using that she unsheathed her dagger and sliced off the top, cradling the sack with the woman's free hand at the bottom to help tilt the sack for the flour to pour into the bowl. The powdery substance crashed and floated upwards, caking the two yet neither had even cared, treating it as if it were a usual and expected occurrence.

"That you're not wrong about trusting me." _Why's she worried 'bout shite like this?_

"If you gotta go outta yer way to prove it then-"

"I don't want it blowing up in my face later, that's all." Sylvira stated nonchalantly and had the tone that reminded Sera when the mage showed her the schematics, _talking out loud, like she's tryin' to figure something out._ She watched from the corner of her eye and noticed the distant look as the mage stared at the bowl, the sack already abandoned on the flour-covered floor, _it's not for me again is it?_ Anger gnawed on her restraints despite knowing the woman had all the reason in the world to feel the way she had, _she's wondering if she's wrong in trusting me?_

"Got nothin' to worry 'bout then luv," Sera reassured honestly as she grabbed the jug of stale milk and began pouring, _fuck this isn't as fun when she isn't really into it. Could use more mess and powdery explosions,_ "Cut the bullshit games and admit yer the one wondering if you're wrong, not me." _Friggin' pride of hers, bet she'll just say she-_

"You're right." _Or she'll admit it…?_ Lavellan let out a heavy sigh and raked her free hand through her flour dusted hair, the rogue gaped incredulously at her, "You know me too well."

"You say that as if it's a problem that I do. I don't get it Syl," the archer shrugged then walked to place the empty jug in the corner where other pots and pans waited to be washed. She turned on her heel and her heart constricted painfully at the sulky look on the mage's face as she idly mixed the flour and milk with a whisk in her free hand, the bowl at the edge of the table and pressed to her waist to keep it from falling everywhere, _she's always expecting people to stab her in the back._ "You don't gotta wait for a dagger from me," she grinned reassuringly as she teased in hopes to lighten up the mood, "You'll know it up front with me smacking you 'cross the head." _Miss her being nutty and having fun without givin' a fuck._ "Just how ya like it, perv." _She's taking all this shite with the kiddos and other rubbish way too hard._

"Heh," a small smile tugged on the corners of Sylvira's lips before it suddenly spread in a full out grin as she abandoned the task and sauntered towards the rogue, "You're a hell of a thief, Haurasha." _I know that look,_ Sera matched her grin and their eyes danced with mischief, "Or should I say you're the worst thief?" _This is more like it._

"Nope," the archer rose her palm and chuckled when soft lips collided with her hand, "Still denying you the goods, Syl." She laughed when the woman sighed and rested her forehead on Sera's shoulder, Lavellan huffed in mock anger, _covered in flour and don't give a shit. Love this._

"I hate you," the rogue could _hear_ Sylvira's grin, _if she's not gonna say it then I ain't going to either._

"Hate you too," both knew exactly what was meant, "Luv."

* * *

Leaving the mess behind and carefully sneaking back to the chambers with the bowl, Lavellan glanced over her shoulder and grinned at the miserable archer, "What? Someone's got to be the light now that the candles are blown out."

"Don't even," Sera hissed quietly as she adjusted her grip on the bowl, it's contents spilling out on her every now and then, "I saw you flickin' yer hands to blow them out on the way to the kitchen. Did it on purpose, you arse!"

"Careful," Sylvira warned as more spilled out, "You're leaving it all over the fucking carpet," she opened the door leading to her chambers for Sera, "We won't have anything left tomorrow."

"I don't give a shit about the carpet!"

"But you'd give a shit -literally too- if Cassandra saw the trail leading up to my chambers and straight to **us** , right?" _Oh._ The archer smirked devilishly, _well that makes sense._ "Look who's the arse now?"

"She'll know it's us anyways. Will wanna kill one of us," Sera shrugged, "Better you than me."

"Thanks. Always got my back."

"No problem, anytime luv," the rogue whispered cheekily. Unbeknownst to her Lavellan's stomach fluttered every time Sera uttered the word 'luv' as if it were natural, that it was alright. _I don't get it. Something_ _must_ _have changed for her to be like this. There's just no way there's 'no reason', right?_ Her eyebrows furrowed with frustration as she wracked her brain for answers and replayed all the events starting from her bitter confession about her past. _Feelings are troublesome,_ the mage extinguished the flame in her palm now being back in the lit room and helped Sera carry the bowl up the steps, hiding it in the small room with the barrels of alcohol. _There are no rules, no correlations, nothing I can point to and say that's the cause and this is the effect._ She stole a glance at Sera, _and she's the most erratic of them all, even if there were rules they wouldn't apply to her._

"You really did trust me without any reason?" She blurted, and the archer groaned.

"For the love of-yer still tryna figure out somethin' that can't be figured out Syl." Sera sighed and raked her hand through her hair, she stepped right up to the tall woman and rested her hands on Sylvira's shoulders, "It's as simple as that. Or complicated, I don't like complicated and y'know that. I don't know why I did, I just **did**. Why do ya gotta think 'bout it?"

"There has to be some logic, some rational to-"

"There **isn't** , not with this ya daft twat. It's not as simple as 'let's have sex because it makes my body feel good' or -and wipe that look off yer face- or… I said wipe it off!"

"I can't help it," the mage grinned cheekily, "Isn't that the primary reason people have intercourse?"

"Alright then smartiepants, lemme ask you somethin'. If that's the," Sera quoted with her fingers, "'Primary reason' for whatever-course, why me and not some other random wench?"

"I..." Lavellan was stumped and murmured to herself as she stared upwards, gears turning in her head as she thought for an answer, "Why is that? That's a good question..."

"Ugh, are you friggin' serious right now Syl?! I swear yer the dumbest smart person alive," the archer sighed exasperatedly, "Look, we been through everything together yeah? Playin' games and drinking, marching all over the bloody place and fighting all sortsa baddies, touching and kissing-" the sloppy smug grin was back in place and Sera chuckled, "Yeah I knew you'd like that." _I know you like it too._ She grabbed the mage's wrist and led her towards the bed, turning around to slowly rid the both of them of their flour-covered clothes. "Get it now?" _Not really, no. Or does she mean the stripping for sex part?_ Sera pulled off the scarf and gave a light shake then patted it down, the only piece of clothing that had received such attention and an idea struck the dalish woman.

"This is one of the reasons why you and not someone else," she blurted, "You know the scarf means a lot to me but know not to push why," Sylvira took a turn and stripped the rogue's shirt then abandoned it beside her own, Sera nodded.

"And?" After they kicked off the boots the leggings were next, and the archer hooked her hands on the waistband of Lavellan's pants, gently tugging to signal for them to come off.

"And what?" The mage stripped her breeches with ease and tossed it in the gradually growing pile, her stomach fluttering and knotting together despite the two having been naked around each other so many times before. _I don't get this, we've taken baths in lakes and changed in front of each other._

"There's more than one reason isn't there?"

"I..." Sylvira's eyebrows knitted together in thought, "You don't complain about my smoking, like others." They'd been down to their underclothes luckily untainted by the flour, yet the mage didn't know if she rather liked or disliked that fact. Sera snickered quietly and mumbled under her breath as she gently walked backwards to the bed while pulling the dalish woman along, "Maybe you think that's lame or no big deal. Others were on my ass about quitting until they figured out I wasn't going to ever listen," Lavellan followed her lead and hovered on top of her as they laid on the bed, "Instead you started carrying matches for me. Thanks for that, I always forget them," _in time she found that out about me too._ She swallowed the lump in her throat as her eyes trailed down the toned body beneath her, her eyes drinking in every detail, every freckle, and burning it directly into her mind. _I don't understand any of this yet._

"Scarf, smokes, what else Syl?" _Helping me think this through by making me think out loud, that's another, but..._

"Are you asking me why I want you, Sera? What for?" The archer shrugged and smiled coyly, "That's for me to figure out huh?" A nod. _Perhaps it gratifies her to know?_ Sylvira lowered and gave a chaste kiss to the hickey beside the navel, the light purple bruise was starting settle in, "You tell me like it is. Usually, anyways. You aren't afraid to be honest and speak your mind unlike all the others around here, you don't give a shit about what others think about you, or me, or us." She trailed tender kisses upwards until she parted and gazed into the clouded brown-green orbs, "And even if it's infuriatingly hard to gauge or understand, I love how emotion guides your whims and your bow arm." _It's something I'll never understand, but it's intriguing and captivating._ The eyes widened and flashed with anger at the same time, Lavellan grinned, "And you being angry really is sexy, I wasn't kidding about that."

A deadpan huff, "Seriously." _You play my games just as I play yours._

Husky chuckles filled the silence, the mage looked up and quickly flicked her wrists to feed precise gusts of air at the base of the fire, it crackled as it grew larger, grateful of the oxygen as it'd been brought back to life. The light bounced and flickered as it danced on her own face, her unkempt golden hair splayed about until she'd pushed the stray locks out of Sera's face. "And…? What else, Syl?" _I don't get it, does she want me to say something specific?_ The dalish woman's eyebrows knitted in concentration as she tried to think of what Sera wanted before she caught herself, _she wouldn't want me to tell her what she wants to hear. She wants me to say it like it is, too._

"You're the only one I trust," Lavellan frowned for a moment, "I don't know what-"

"Can't know everything," the cheshire grin was back, "You ain't perfect, loser."

Realization struck her and the mage almost collapsed, "Wow. I'm such an idiot."

"Took you **that** long to figure it out? I thought you knew that all along."

"Ouch, still sassy," the two laughed, _now I know why she wanted me to think through it like this._ Sylvira grinned as she rested her forehead against Sera's, "I know the main reason, Sera." _Always thinking of me._

"Oh, yeah? That so?"

"But I'm not gonna tell you."

"Of course not, when's anything ever easy with you?" _You know me too well._

"Because I want to play a game instead," the mage chuckled at the glare, "I'll write it on a small parchment and you have to find it, if you want to know."

"Fine. Off." _She really wants to know that much?_

"What, now? We're not going to have sex?" _Am I happy or sad about that? I can't tell, so annoying._

"Wot? Hell no! What the fuck, where did that come from?"

"Oh I don't know," Lavellan shrugged as she slid off then pointed to the pile of clothes, "The fact you stripped us both down all romantic-like in front of the bed and fire?"

"Well," the archer scoffed, "It's either your game or my game. Pick an' choose." _I already know what's going to happen._

"How about your game first and then mine?" _But it's worth a try anyways._

"Nope."

"Then why did you bother giving me an option?" Sylvira plopped over to the desk and pulled out each drawer, confused when none had neither tools nor parchments, _what the? Where are they?_

"Oh shit," the mage's head snapped up to Sera, _huh? Why's she look guil- oh now I get it._

"You threw out that stuff too huh? Damn now what... Got to be something else around here I can use." _I could write it in the air with magic before it dissipates? Wait but then I might as well tell her right now._

"Got some in my room," the archer slid off the bed and began wrestling on her flour-caked clothes, "Lemme go grab it, be back soon." Before Lavellan could protest Sera ran off, _she could have taken a clean shirt from me if she wanted,_ she smiled softly, _she doesn't care about that sorta shit, there's another reason._ With a sigh the dalish woman went to collect her clothes and tossed it in a pile she guessed must have been the dirty collection, searching the floor until she had plucked a spare pair of wrinkled breeches and shirt. _This is maddening, all of it,_ she took her boots and went out on the balcony, looking at the night sky as she banged the boots against the railing to shake off the flour, her hand smoothing along then wiping the powder on her shirt. _Is it really alright for her to know all these things?_ Sylvira's eyebrows furrowed with worry, _she really doesn't care about it? I don't understand._ Her lips curled into a fond smile, the best advice Sera had ever given her was firmly planted in her mind as it was one of the things that irked her, _I want to know first._

 ** _Give her a chance, you don't know what she'll do until it happens._**

Nothing seemed to have changed, or at least not in the negative that the mage had predicted and nearly expected. Sera hadn't given her the pity eyes, didn't treat her like she was a fragile doll, was still confusing and still giving her a hard time. A sigh escaped Lavellan and she murmured, "Am I meant to figure it out or is she messing with me for fun?" Strolling to pick up the journal she'd abandoned earlier, she dusted off the powder that flew on it, _must have been from the clothes._ As her hand smoothed along the cover, her eyes honed in to a particular bulge bigger than what should have been from all the folded corners in the pages. Curious, she thumbed to it and inspected the double folded corner, _what? I hate double folds, why would I-_ her eyes trailed down to the entry and widened, her heart raced a little faster and a radiant grin swept her face as she laughed boisterously. _Life is like a game of chess, changing with each move._ "Well fucking played Sera," _fuck keys. She's got the lockpick to my heart,_ she looked up at the night sky, _she surprisingly even took in account what time I'd read this._ "Checkmate."

 _9:41 Dragon Bloomingtide 27th_

 _I'm in love._

 ** _Solace 31 Freakdays Loser didn't get: You suck._**

 ** _S2 Sera._**


	12. Professional (Pervert) Business Woman

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Behold, Sylvira studying female anatomy… In Elvhen. Hopefully the vocabulary legend will be of some use this time :P Some words Sylvira has already translated during the chapter as well but it'll be in the legend to keep track. Also, **S2** (from Sera's note last chapter) is the old school 'heart' before the arrow with the 3 came into play (like Taming Gravity's cover pic with what Sera scribbles on Syl's shoulder). However, fanfiction deletes the arrow key and /3 looked even more confusing than S2, essentially Sera drew a small heart before her name. There's quite a few chess terms thrown in here as well (the second half of the chapter primarily). So if something doesn't make sense in this chapter then PM or review and I'll explain it to the best of my ability, I'm not a chess player either so I hope I've not offended actual chess players here lol.

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Pala Ghi'lin:_ Sex guide/teacher. Though ghi'lin should refer to something that's actually, you know. A living thing, Sylvira doesn't give a shit. That's just how much respect she has for this book lol.

 _Blardhea:_ Morning flower, slang for vagina (boy am I ever so slowly regretting writing this chapter, I'm sorry ladies)

 _Asagail:_ Labia, however it can also mean the 'orchid' flower for it literally means 'bells'

 _Dashalasha:_ Clitoris (I can't say dashalasha with a straight face, can you?)

 _Lasa:_ grant/give

 _'Ma:_ I/my/me (contraction of Emma when it is 'ma)

 _Ma:_ you/your (without the ' dash)

 _Masa:_ Buttocks/Ass. (Now what do you think Syl is saying with her rhyme/song? :P)

* * *

 **Professional (Pervert) Business Woman**

* * *

 _Well while I'm waiting for her might as well do something useful before I fall asleep here._ Kicking around several scattered objects knocked from the table into one pile, Sylvira plucked her glasses from her desk and searched her tomes until one fancied her interest. "Ah hah!" She lifted the book and strode to the bed as she slid her reading glasses on, hopping on her back and extending her arms straight out as the tome hovered over her face. _My trusted Pala Ghi'lin,_ she lowered the book and gave a chaste kiss on the cover, "If only I had more time to train with you, Master." Thumbing through the pages, she figured she would refresh her mind on anatomy first, _this would be a lot easier to remember if I didn't have to translate it first._ She groaned inwardly, _and Sera threw out my stuff, I can't write on the pages until I ask Josie to requisition the crap outta this room._

"Asagail," she murmured idly as her eyes trailed over the picture she had already vandalized and drew in the book long ago, "Ah, the labia." Flipping to the next page she grinned, _one day, just you wait._ "Your blardhea belongs to meeeeee Seraaaa," she cackled evilly, and her eyes danced with amusement at her next stick-drawing of presumably herself situated in between the archer's legs. The only thing that distinguished which stick person was who was that Sera had a speech bubble beside her head, "I'll shove an arrow up your arse if you don't fuck me." Lavellan smirked, _something she'd definitely say, no doubt. She will one day._ Her eyes glazed over the tips in elvhen, _the dashalasha,_ her lips pursed as she tried to stifle her laughter, _I love that word so much more than clitoris._ "Dashalasha!" She chuckled, "I can't wait to tell that to Sera and see the look on her face." She adjusted her glasses and flipped to the next page, boredom was gradually settling in and she craned her neck upwards to look upside down, _where is she? She's taking longer than I thought._ "Hm," her eyebrow rose in interest as she slowly deciphered one of the tips, "Sucking on the dashalasha," her lips pursed again as she tried to keep a straight and technical face, "The suction gives a different sensation? I'll have to keep that in mind."

Another page, another random drawing, and more tips of which she couldn't make sense of them all without a dictionary to reference from, _now that I think about it this elvhen's even older than what I've seen in Cillian's research_. Her mind numbed from boredom and her thoughts felt sluggish, "Where's the section with positions?" She idly thumbed through the pages and stopped when she saw one with a folded corner, she'd thankfully scribbled the translation and had it underlined with stars. "Write letters with my tongue…? Why didn't I write where or how?" _Or why? I guess I could write my name, ooh~ this I like._ She shrugged and continued flipping page by page, her eyes darting left and right as she soaked in the words and letters but nothing wanted to register even if she forced herself to try and pay attention. Suddenly out of nowhere, she blurted idly as she crossed a page with a drawing even she had no idea what it was, "Lasa 'ma masa." She froze. Her eyes widened. She erupted in bouts of uncontrollable laughter and almost rolled off the bed, wheezing desperately for air as she abandoned the book in exchange for wrapping her arms around her aching ribs. _I got to tell her that, but I won't ever tell her what it means oh~ no, this will be awesome. I can just see it all now… She'll call me an idiot for laughing by myself then smack me for being a loser and be annoyed that I'm 'elfy'. Then I'll tell her lasa 'ma ma masa, even better._

"Whew," she rolled on her stomach and briefly lifted her glasses, her fingers rubbing outward under her eyes to wipe off the tears from laughing so hard. Feeling refreshed she propped up on her elbows then lifted the book to her face to delve in once more, rapidly flipping through the pages and reveling in the sounds of the paper fluttering through her thumbs. "Positions~," she sang and hummed no particular melody, she pushed up her glasses higher when they slowly slid down her nose. _Oh hey,_ she noticed which finger she used and grinned, _this would be a great subtle 'fuck you' hint._ She tilted her head downwards for the glasses to slide then pushed them back up with her middle finger, _I'll have to try and remember that for Sera too to see if she catches on._

"O great Pala Ghi'lin," the chilling draft swept through her room yet she paid no mind to it, her stomach churned and fluttered with excitement. "Give me somethin' sexy~ that will-" her eyebrows furrowed in confusion when she could suddenly see the wall of her room across from her, _huh?_ Her fingers reflexively flexed but grasped nothing but air, she craned her neck upwards and looked to see Sera standing at the side of the bed she laid on. _Oh._ "When I said give me something sexy, I must admit even I didn't foresee this. Good timing," she studied the archer when confusion swept her features as she rapidly thumbed through the pages in curiosity. The fluttering of the pages and the crackling of fire filled the silence, Lavellan rested her chin on her palm and watched with amusement, _she won't get what it is but her reaction to the drawings will be interesting._

"Syl, what…?" She trailed off as the pages slowed and Sera's brow rose, she glanced at the mage with a skeptical look and her eyes finished asking the question. _What is it?_

"It's..." Sylvira tried to keep her face straight as she quipped sarcastically, "A book? Duh." She laughed when the archer thwacked her across the head with said book, _ow, that cover's surprisingly really hard._ She grinned mischievously when she noticed the glazed look in the brown-green orbs, _ooh~ I know which drawing she saw._

"You're so~ hilarious," Sera stated with a deadpan expression, "I'm dying of laughter." The rogue tossed the tome back then held out her hand with a single parchment and cloth-wrapped lead, "Start writing." _She wants to know that badly does she?_

"I have to hide it for you to find it too, remember? I'll do it tomorrow," she glanced at the night sky beyond the balcony arch, "Or rather later today." Her grin grew when the archer huffed, she rolled across the bed then set the things down on the ground as she patted the spot behind her, "Come on. Aren't you a little curious as to what the book has to teach you?"

"Nope. It's elfy, and it's got yer stick constell-whatevers in it." Sylvira burst out laughing at that and rolled off the bed towards the rogue, _Creators, somebody save me!_ "Oi!" Sera had her hands on her hips and her head tilted in confusion as she stepped back to give the writhing madwoman room, "The hell? Have ya finally lost it, Syl?"

"Y- _yes_ ," Lavellan wheezed in between before another bout took her, eventually she had calmed down and rolled on her stomach. _She didn't read the speech bubbles then, damn._ "I haven't laughed this much and this hard in a long, long time. Thanks Blardhea," she pushed herself up and took off her glasses, only for her wrist to be caught in midair with the offending object in her hand, _huh?_

"Keep 'em on." _Fuck no I'm not,_ the mage frowned and Sera blurted quickly, "You look pretty with them." _W..hat…? She likes them?_ Sylvira's eyes widened and her jaw slackened, her mind had been completely blank yet somehow thousands of thoughts raced by. Speechless and indecisive as to what to say, she merely nodded dumbly and the corner of the archer's lips quirked up in a teasing smirk, "'Cept now you look like a fish." Sera gently pried the glasses from the woman's grip and tilted her head side to side as she carefully slid them back on, "It don't hurt or give headaches wearing them do they?"

"N-no," Lavellan coughed to clear her throat and inwardly cursed the stuttering, "They help prevent headaches but only for reading, unfortunately. If they prevented all headaches from stupid people I'd wear them all the time, magical glasses." _Perhaps I can find a way to enchant them to do just that?_

"Why don'tcha like wearing them?" Mouth running dry and tongue thick as cotton, the mage's lips parted then sealed. Sera had a wry grin, "Syl, **speechless**?"

"Silence is another form of an answer," her pride retorted and she caved in to the look on the archer's face, _she knows that was bullshit._ "You're just… Asking a lot of difficult questions today," Sylvira spun on her heel and climbed over the bed, retrieving the things the rogue gave her and moving towards her desk to ensure they wouldn't somehow accidentally end up in the fireplace. She cursed the nausea in her stomach and the sweat that trickled down her forehead, she rubbed her temples and tried to focus on her breathing, _it's acting up again? The_ _enchantment_ _,_ she glanced at her left arm that oddly still felt fine and pain-free, _it should last a couple days, not a couple hours. Is it possible to have weakened that fast?_ "It's not something I'm comfortable talking about."

"Why not?"

 ** _I'm a failure._**

" **Sera** ," Lavellan slammed her palms on the table and glared warningly, "That means it's not a topic for discussion in case if you didn't get the blatant hint."

"Oh I got it alright," the archer crossed her arms, "Ain't stupid. Just ignoring it, so, why not? I thought you'd get a big fat head after saying you look pretty," _is that the reason you said it?_

"Don't push me, haven't you done enough?"

"It really that hard to spit out?" Sera smirked coyly, "You told me earlier you got the worst out, so what's another 'secret' since you're on a roll?" Sylvira snapped and tore off the glasses then tossed them on the desk, she slammed her palms down with a little more force and the rogue jumped, startled from the abrupt anger. _Too far, too fucking far._

"That's enough, leave."

"Syl..." _When will she learn no means no, and leave means fucking-_ she ignored Sera's expression and shouted angrily, _don't fucking look at me like that…!_

" **Leave,** **now**!" _I don't need your pity,_ she was sure she was going to lose it any moment when instead of complying, the archer instead stepped forward. "I'm warning you," she stretched out her right hand as she called on magic, "I will toss your ass out of here if I have to."

"Are you listening to yourself?" _Why is she doing this? She's afraid of magic, she's scared right now. I don't understand what's possessed her,_ another step, the mage's fingers flexed yet did nothing, but the fear was plain on Sera's face. _What's different now? She would have left by now, run more like._ "Sorry, yeah?" The rogue murmured nervously, "I get it okay? Shite topic, it's dropped." _Doing the opposite of what's asked as usual, and yet… Not?_ Lavellan's jaw tensed as she lowered her arm, her mind frantically trying to figure out the motives behind the thoughtless actions. _She's too unpredictable for me to judge,_ the woman shook her head and let out a sigh, _I cannot apply thought and rational where none is had._ "Will ya still wear them though?"

"What?" Sylvira's head snapped up, "Why?" _I thought she paid the compliment for me to work up and confess._

"Already told ya," another cautious step, the tension gradually melting away when Sera was sure the mage wouldn't snap again, "You look pretty with them."

"You know," Lavellan smirked smugly and conceding to the rogue's request all too happily with her ego stroked. "I never would have guessed that you like the intelligent looking types." _She really doesn't seem to care about the glasses._

"Hah!" The archer snorted, " **You** intelligent?" _I don't understand, if not for that then why do you like it?_

"Ouch, that hurts my feelings-" the two elves grinned playfully, "The ones that I don't have." Sylvira rounded the desk then strode to the bed to pick up the scarf, wrapping it around Sera's neck. "Will you stay here for the night?" She inwardly cursed for sounding so hopeful, like a little child about to get a toy. _Child…_ Her half-lidded eyes bore into the razor sharp slits, feelings switched off without meaning to. "I won't do anything if you're worried about being molested in your sleep." Another curse, she mentally kicked herself for sounding so flat, _like the tranquil, sorry bastards,_ the rogue picked up on this too and her eyebrows furrowed. Her head tilted and she stared back with both concern and confusion, yet shrugged and gratefully made no mention of it, _she surprisingly knows when and when not to press, sometimes._

"Sure, got an extra sweater too though? It's real cold in here even with the fireplace," they looked around the mess of the room and chuckled, Lavellan expanded her arms and gestured to the floor.

"Pick a sweater any sweater, just uh," she thumbed to the supposed dirty pile, "You probably won't want those, those are all dirty or smelly."

"Your face is dirty and smelly."

"Well your ass is dirty and smelly."

"No shit?"

"It's smelly without shitting? That's a sign of bacterial infection and-"

"Not what I meant and you know it ye daft tit," Sera poked her tongue out at the smirking woman, she idly sifted through the wreckage until she found one that caught her eye. "Never seen this one before..." _Hm? Aw crap._ Pushing apart all the other wrinkled clothes on top, she tugged at the red sleeve until she successfully pulled it out.

"I forgot I-" _got that_ _made_ _for you,_ "Had that, try it on. It looks thin but it's actually really warm because-" she cut herself off, _probably shouldn't mention it's enchanted, she'll never wear it then._ The cotton shirt had been dyed a bright red like Sera's favorite shirt and the sleeves were heavily wrinkled at the ends, evidence of how often they'd been folded to the elbows. _Wanted to give her something with my smell, but I don't think I've worn that for a while_. Sylvira crossed her arms and smiled softly as she watched Sera wrestle the shirt on without taking the scarf off first, _I could tell her it'd be easier if she actually took off the scarf but…_ "Here," she strode forward and greedily stole the opportunity for herself, "This should help." She gently pushed the archer's elbows up to keep the shirt in the air as she quickly pulled the scarf off from underneath, Sera looped her hands through the sleeves and tugged the rest down in one fell swoop. The mage circled the scarf around the creamy neck again and she nodded after taking a step back to drink in the sights, "You always look good in whatever you wear." She grinned, not being able to contain herself or pass up the chance, "But, as usual, you look best in my clothing."

"Thanks," she murmured without really paying attention, still enraptured by the red color and the warmth, "Whaddya know? It really is warm. How do all yer thin clothes do that?"

"Magic," Lavellan smiled coyly when the rogue huffed and playfully punched her stomach, "OOPH," she wrapped her arms around her ribs and fell to her knees melodramatically. She fought the urges to laugh at Sera's deadpan expression and eyes that practically screamed 'you're a loser', "D-Dying…!" Continuing with her charade thinking she just might get lucky, she fell to her side as her eyes slipped shut, "Need life-saving kiss to wake me up." Silence, save for the crackling of the fire.

"Seriously." Lips pursed, the mage bit on her tongue and struggled to keep a straight and relaxed face, she nodded despite the fact she ought to be playing dead. A rush of air, the shuffling of fabric and the way she could feel breaths hit her face made her heart hammer with hope, _she's_ _actually_ _going to listen?! Lucky, free kiss!_ "Looks like I didn't do a good job," _what?_ Sylvira opened her eyes just in time to see the evil grin, _oh shit,_ she braced herself as she felt a harder punch to her gut, "Nope, still not good enough. Fish is still flopping and squirming."

"Wha-you want to - _oof_ \- kill me?!" The mage rolled away before the next jab and pushed herself back up, fixing her glasses without thinking about it by pushing them up with her special finger. "What did I do to you?!"

"Flippin' me the bird that's what," _what? Oh right. Damn and I didn't mean to, there goes half the fun. Wow she caught on fast though._

"No remorse for even beating me up. You're a bully, know that?"

"I'd feel bad," Sera shrugged, "If I didn't know you like it, perv."

"Jeez, just what kind of kinky shit do you think I'm into? Wait," she rose her palm when the archer rose her eyebrows, her eyes asking if Lavellan really wanted to know, _which I don't._ "Never mind." _Keep it exciting and bring all sorts of surprises later._

"That's what I thought." A long yawn, the rogue stretched her arms above her head and Sylvira's eyes immediately honed in on the exposed skin as the shirts rolled up, _I wonder if-_ "Anyways, let's sleep already Syl. Else we gonna end up staying up all night then we'll bust the tavern tables again."

"Whatever," Lavellan scoffed, "Those idiots deserved it for pissing us off when we were tired."

"Well yeah, but then Cass made us fix it all remember?"

"Oh right," the mage nodded and strode to the bed opposite to the fire, knowing Sera would want that spot for herself. "Yeah that doesn't sound fun, and she'll be extra pissed off if we're going to prank her next." She grinned when the rogue giggled giddily, "I can't wait for it either."

"The look on her face'll be priceless," as expected, Sera slid to the spot closest to the fire yet instead of facing away from Sylvira like she usually had when they slept together, she was looking at the woman instead. "Wait," she darted out and grabbed the mage's wrist when she moved to take off the glasses, "Keep 'em on." _Why is she so insistent on seeing me like this?_

"I can't sleep with my glasses on, they'll fall off and be crushed by one of us," she waggled her eyebrows provocatively and the archer rolled her eyes, "Or **both** of us." Sera released her wrist and she took them off, "You put them on." _Perhaps I'll figure it out if she wears them._

"Huh, why? I don't need them."

"Curious to see what you'll look like," Lavellan slid them on and her lips pursed, her heart swelled. _Creators..._

"Oi don't laugh, arse!" Sera was about to rip them off until the mage stopped her, "Lemme go Syl!" _I'm even more confused now._

"It's not that," Sylvira murmured in awe, she reached over and tucked the long jagged lock behind the rogue's ear as Sera stilled, "It's exactly how I dreamed of this." _I don't understand this at all,_ her eyes darted left and right, up and down, determined to burn every detail in her mind as Sera watched her with a confused look. "It's just glasses on your face," she whispered, "Why does it affect me this much?" It was the archer's turn for her lips to press and thin as she struggled not to smile, her brown-green orbs softened yet danced with amusement as she remained quiet for Lavellan to work through it on her own. "My shirt," her eyes trailed lower, "My scarf," _she doesn't care about the stains either._ She hesitantly met the razor sharp slits, watching her like a hawk, "My glasses." She could vaguely see her own reflection, the unkempt hair heavily framing her face in thick locks and the citron eyes shining bright. Uncomfortable with what she saw, she gently slid the glasses off and levitated them safely to the table, "I don't get it."

"You're not s'posto," Sera whispered back, her soft smile in place knowing it'd irritate the mage. "That's just how it is, Syl."

"But **why**?" _The effect is clear, but what's the cause?_

"Who knows? It's good 'nough that you like it, innit? Why make it complicated, that another hobby?"

"Heh," Lavellan smirked, "Seems so." She propped herself up higher on her elbow and glanced over the archer, flicking her wrist to feed the fire once more, "One moment." She scooted forward and carefully climbed over Sera, she'd missed the expression as her focus remained on bringing the fire back to life. She grabbed a few logs and cautiously put them in without burning herself, realization struck her and her eyebrows furrowed with confusion, _couldn't I have-_

"Couldn't you just use your magic for that? Lookit you, actually being normal for once." _I've always been normal though, magic is normal for me as breathing is to you but..._

"I..." Sylvira glanced over her shoulder and noted the rogue's amused look, her head resting on the palm of her hand as she rolled to face the mage. "You're right, I don't understand it myself."

"Tired?"

"A little, but that's no cause for-"

"Don't blow up yer brains **over** -thinking it luv," the flutter again, _I hate that word_ , _this is annoying._ "You just felt like using your hands for once, no other reason if you did all that without thinking 'bout it in the first place." _But why?_ Sera reached behind her and patted the spot, "Come on." Not one to squander the chance, the dalish woman slid over and took her designated position. Another yawn from Sera, her arm fumbled blindly and accidentally hit the mage, _what is she doing?_ "Where is it," she huffed annoyingly, _huh?_ On a whim, Lavellan decided to smooth her arm around the archer's waist, "There we go. Come closer." _She_ _wants_ _me to do this?_

"Is this a trap, Sera?"

A low chuckle, "No trap." _No motives, no thoughts, no regrets,_ Sylvira scooted closer to spoon the shorter elf and slowly laid down, glancing down at the blonde hair tickling her nose. _She just feels like doing this, after months of constantly dancing around here she is just oops! I feel like it, no reason!_ Her eyebrows furrowed, _I don't get this…_

"Why?" _I didn't have to push her or do anything this time._

"D'ya want a trap?" _She's just_ _letting_ _me?_

"Not particularly." _There has to be something she expects._

"Then shut up and sleep." _Everybody always wants something._ Thoughts racing, Lavellan's head ached as she mused on multiple possibilities and reasons, trying to figure out the archer and formulating different plans in her mind to ensure she'd be prepared for every scenario. _Intellectuals solve problems,_ a small arrogant smile tugged on her lips, _geniuses prevent them._ Her hand slid up and she smoothed over Sera's hands tucked close to her bosom, _the best way to predict the future,_ she planted a soft kiss to the top of the archer's head.

 _Is to create it._

* * *

Roused by a soft hymn, Sera stirred but remained still, immediately recognizing the voice. Her cold back along with the distant humming told her the mage was probably near her desk, _any time I say anything she stops singing and starts yapping._ Oddly enough she liked it when Lavellan sang, _she needs to do more of that than piss me off._ The best were the meetings in the war room, while Josephine and Cullen bickered about whatever approach, there would be the woman cheerfully humming to herself as she read the reports and formulated whatever it was in her head. _Always has to think out loud._ "Mm~," the pitches alternated but still had a melodic timbre to it, "Ooh~," _I wonder what she's doing?_ Not wanting to risk detection she simply shifted ever so slightly to scoot closer to the edge of the bed and the fire for warmth. She gradually tilted her head downwards and relaxed when the waft of the mango scent tickled her nose, _wish it was stronger._

"Da~," some hasty scribbles, _she writing on the stuff? Definitely can't move then,_ "Sha~," a few creaks, _she's sitting on the chair?_ "La~," more creaks, light boot clicks and something that sounded like it swooshed through air, _or maybe not…?_ _Always has to do something with every part of her._ "Sha~," a few taps, and suddenly for some reason unknown to the archer herself a naughty image began to form in her mind. _She_ _is_ _working right? No way she'd be wankin' off,_ "La~," _she sings while she does?! No way!_ Sera's lips pursed as she tried to stifle her laughter, she so dearly wanted to see it -purely for fun of  course\- but remained quiet as she tuned in to the ragged breathing in between syllables. "Sa~," _is she just saying random rubbish? I would if I was wankin' too I guess,_ "Ma~," _this is too good,_ "Ma~," _you already said that one ye daft twat._ Something abruptly slammed down and startled the rogue, she jumped slightly and damn near  prayed Sylvira didn't see it. "Sa~," _whew, wait why'd she sound muffled there?_ The image in Sera's mind took a weird twist and her curiosity demanded she opened her eyes, so as nonchalantly as she could she stretched her body out and let out a quiet moan. An evil grin bounced around her mind when she heard the quiet yet sharp inhale, _got her attention quickly I did,_ she wiped her eyes and slowly propped herself up on her elbow as she twisted her torso. "Morning Blardhea," the mage snickered softly and mumbled under her breath, "That just made no sense..." _Huh?_

Turning her head, her jaw slackened and cruel reality shattered the images in her mind. Unfortunately Sylvira was doing nothing even remotely close to 'naughty', unless one had a specific fetish or creative imagination that is. The woman was standing in a rather peculiar position with one foot crossed over the other, a tome in one hand with some sort of tanned paper along with the cloth-wrapped lead in the other. Next was a kind of-sort of-eaten pancake floating on one side of the face and two other papers floating on the other side, Sera grinned sloppily as her eyes trailed up to the mage's sweating face, _she's actually wearing her glasses._ "Whatcha doin' Syl?" The archer noticed the light glow of lines on the carpet and tried to make sense of it but shrugged and fully sat up, folding her legs and turning to face Lavellan, _does this loser ever do_ _anything_ _normally?_

"Working on a schematic for a new and even better belt," the mage gestured to the parchment on the tome as she bit into the pancake, "Having lunch," she thumbed to the floating papers, "Reading reports," she thrust her hips back and forth in a rather inappropriate way with a perverted grin, "While dancing and singing." Whatever the mage had been drawing with her feet on the floor dissipated when she traced the lines but moved in reverse instead, _didn't know she could that too._

"Jeez," Sera chuckled, "You can't just do one thing can you?"

"Want to see me juggle too? I'm pretty good at juggling."

"No. Way." _At the same time? This should be funny._

"Yup!" Sylvira let go of the tome and lead in her hands as the objects floated around her, _huh?_ She strode to the rogue with the pancake, reports, and drawing tools eerily following behind her, _what the fuck?! This ain't normal at all!_ Grinning smugly, the dalish woman leaned down and caught Sera off guard with a kiss, thumbing to herself with a proud smirk, "See? I'm good~ I can do all sorts of things at once."

"That's not juggling ye daft tit!"

"What? It's about keeping stuff in the air isn't it?"

"With yer hands, you toss 'em around with yer hands, loser!"

 _Somethin' tells me I'm gonna smack that look off her face._ Lavellan pointed to the pancake and levitated it closer to the archer's face, hovering inches away and making it swing back and forth. "You are getting very~ sleepy~," she burst out laughing when Sera huffed angrily and snatched the pancake from the air, wolfing it down as a symbol of her defiance. The rest of the _creepy arse_ things floated casually back to the desk and Sera shuddered, _friggin' not normal, she's doin' this on purpose._

"Arff," she muffled as she chewed on the food, her cheeks puffed out like a hamster. She'd been confused when the mage patted her head with an unusually affectionate grin, _huh?_ Her guts warned her that Sylvira was probably-

"Good doggy!"

Making fun of her.

"I SAID ARSE!" Sera swatted away the hand and decided to enact her revenge, grabbing the woman's wrist and roughly pulling her before she could get away. She rose from the bed only to swiftly trip and toss Lavellan down on it, immediately scrambling on top and pinning the mage's wrists above her head. Knowing how this would end as it always does Sera didn't bother asking if the woman wanted mercy, knowing her pride would speak in defiance and refuse to bow. With her free hand she swiftly rolled up the wrinkled shirt and lightly bounced her fingers along Sylvira's sides, the mage immediately exploding in laughter and writhing uncontrollably, her head thrashing side to side. The archer grinned like a madwoman, bracing herself for her turn when Lavellan composed herself for just that split second and immediately turned the tables. Feeling lighter as if being lifted, the mage bumped up her hips and rolled the two so that she was on top, a triumphant smirk on her flushed face as she breathed heavily to sate her starved lungs. _Glasses,_ Sera smiled softly as she waited for doom, she easily slipped one wrist out of the woman's weak grasp and reached up, sliding the glasses higher to fix them. _Surprised they stayed on after all of that._ A look of realization dawned on Sylvira's face and her wrist flew up until the archer grabbed it, _she forgot 'bout it huh?_ "Keep them on luv." _Oh there's that 'just what is she up to' look,_ "I like 'em on ya."

"That simple?"

"That simple," Sera nodded and smirked at the flash of irritation, "You know me Syl. You oughta know by now there's no complicated underhanded whatevers. Looks pretty on you is all, and I like it."

"Just," the mage let out a quiet sigh and instead smoothed her ample hair bangs back before they fell into place again, "Don't tell anybody about this, okay? Only you know about them." _Wonder why,_ the archer nodded reluctantly, _but gonna be just like last night or she'll feed bullshit stories like the scarf 'til I give up._ "Come on," Lavellan slid off, "You slept for a long time, it's lunch time already." _Oh right she mentioned that._ "Cassandra should be out of her quarters," the rogue's stomach grumbled and she grinned, "Let's stuff you with half the kitchen's stock first. I still don't get where you fit it all."

"What? Stomach growls and says I'm hungry, so I eat, simple." Sera fought not to grin mischievously, she quickly caught on that just the word 'simple' was beginning to irk the mage. Sylvira took off her glasses as she strode to the desk, grabbing the schematic on top of the tome, "Hey… Did you write that-"

"Yep, and it's already hidden. I'll give you a clue where it is," the archer's ears perked, Lavellan rarely pointed out that she was giving a hint. _Always gotta get a headache wondering 'bout what her words really mean instead,_ the woman folded the parchment and grinned as she looked at Sera. _What the fuck? She looks like shit, dark circles under her eyes without the glasses._ "It's in Skyhold."

"Wha..t…?" Sera stared dumbfounded, jaw slackened until her eyes widened and she snapped, "That ain't a friggin' clue ye daft tit!" She rushed off the bed as the mage shoved her hands in her pockets and walked away laughing, a bounce in her step as she hopped down the stairs with Sera hot on her heels, "Seriously?! Yer gonna make me look through the whole fucking fortress?!"

"Yup!" _Fuck, knowing her she'd have thought of all the obvious places I'd look, then think of all the not-so-obvious and avoid those, and ugh fuck why's she gotta get in my head?!_

"This ain't fair Syl," the archer grumbled and glared skeptically when Sylvira held the door open for her, "I'm on to you." She walked through anyways simply to humor the woman, "Yer only doing this just to look at my arse." She glanced over her shoulder and grinned as the mage shrugged nonchalantly, _this is more like it, she's better this way._

"Guilty. Who wouldn't? I know you would."

"Yup, guilty too."

"See? Great minds think alike!" Lavellan fell into step beside the archer and the two chuckled as they teasingly lilted in synchrony.

" **You dirty** ~ **bastard**."

* * *

After finding a free tavern table and ordering all the leftover pancakes Cabot had, Sylvira hastily left stating she'd take care of business quickly and would be back soon. _It's been a bloody freakin' hour,_ in reality it'd only been roughly twenty minutes give or take, but the archer was  bored. That tends to be dangerous considering Sera, luckily for everyone around her she still had plenty of food to keep herself busy. She stabbed at the next one with her fork and poked at it in utter boredom, _what's taking her so long? Did she forget again?_ Her head eagerly snapped to the right when a rush of air hit her, only for disappointment to crash down on her when it was Bull sitting with a heavy sigh. "Somethin' wrong, big guy?" The qunari swirled the mead in his mug and sighed again, _I don't get it. What's with everyone not being themselves no more?_

"Promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Sure," the archer shrugged, "You know me, I'll probably end up forgetting about it completely."

"Thanks, makes me feel better already," Bull chuckled, "It's 'bout the Vint and I."

"And?" Sera stabbed at a pancake and lifted it, offering it to the qunari who plucked it off the fork with his fingers and stuffed the whole of it in his mouth. _Quarter of this makes my cheeks puff up, he'd probly need three whole ones._ "You have a fight or somethin'?"

"Or something," Bull shrugged, "I don't know. But it's starting to get real serious." _Kinda like me and Syl._

"Ain't that a good thing?" _It is, isn't it?_ Another sigh, Sera could tell the qunari was having some trouble deciding whether or not to spill the beans. "Just spit it out, Bull, don't gotta worry with me."

"I don't get this shit. I mean I do and I know what it is but..." He rested his chin on the palm of his hand, swirling the mug and watching as the mead spun inside, "He makes me feel so… I dunno, so-"

"Horny?" The archer grinned as if she had ever said the most clever thing ever, she snapped her fingers with both hands then pointed to Bull's horns. The qunari gaped at her, his incredulous look was all she needed for her control to be sent packing on it's merry way. She roared with laughter, her forehead on the table as she smacked it wildly with her hand, ribs aching with mirth as she wheezed for air.

"Heh," Bull's gruff rumbles vibrating through her and encouraged her mischief even more but all he had to say was, "Good one, shrimp." His lackluster response calmed her immediately and Sera's head shot up, _thought it'd cheer 'im up more. Maybe somethin' happened?_

"Well," the rogue shrugged, "You talk to him 'bout it? This… Whatever it is you got a poop face over?"

"I did but things got heated for the wrong reason," _huh? They argued then?_ Bull shrugged, but before he could elaborate on anything more they fell silent when the two overheard a couple of men talking ominously on the floor above them, the qunari clamped his free hand over Sera's mouth just to be safe. _Oi I know when to shut up too!_

"The Inquisitor knows that area's crawling with them doesn't she?"

"Who knows, I scouted it out and sent the report to Lady Nightingale. It'll be on her head if she chooses to ignore it, as usual, don't get why we're sent out for runs like this if they don't care. Reported Vaughan's weird behavior too, he's stressed the hell out. Guy needs some serious vacation time before he loses it." _Syl ain't the only one losing her head over all this shite._

"Something's been up with 'im ever since he came back from his route," Sera and Bull exchanged confused glances, still trying to determine if this was useful information or not. "Another up for the chopping block probably, heartless bitch killing off whoever she can't use." _What the fuck?_

"Careful," the other man hissed, "Ears!" _People… Dunno why Syl's doing all this._ The archer glanced worriedly at Bull who casually drank from his mug with an uncaring shrug, _she didn't bother explaining to people and now they got the wrong idea._ With the intention of fixing that right up, Sera rolled up the sleeves of the gifted red shirt and rose from the table until the qunari grabbed her wrist, stopping her with a shake of his head. _No wonder people don't wanna work for her if they think she's just as bad as Coryphenus._

"The fuck are you doing Bull? They oughta know-" the tavern door slammed open and revealed Lavellan, she searched around until her head snapped on the pair at the table and strode over. _She needs to know._ As soon as she opened her mouth to reveal and warn the mage, Sylvira nonchalantly pulled off the scarf around her neck and left as quickly as she came. "What… The fuck was that?" The two exchanged confused looks, the door opened again minutes later and the woman poked her head in, _what the hell is she doing?_

"I forgot to tell you, there's a meeting in the war room in ten minutes. See you two there."

"Uh..." Once again Lavellan left and Sera glanced at the qunari, he chuckled quietly into his mug and shook his head. "Alright…?" _Always does this shite, no wonder people get the wrong idea._ Bull rose with a sigh and she watched him worriedly, "Hey big guy," she slapped on his back as they exited the tavern, "I'm sure it'll be okay. Just bust down some walls with 'im and he'll be happy as a pig in clover."

"Shit. And thanks, Sera."

"Wha…? Oh right pig in shit. Forgot, whatever. And no problem anytime Bull," Sera folded her hands behind her head and looked up at the sky as she idly trailed behind the qunari, _still 'noon looks like._ When they walked up the steps, her eyes honed in to the carriage before the gates at the lower courtyard, "Hey, hey, hey," she waved at Bull then pointed down, "What's going on down there?" Eyebrows furrowing in confusion, she tried to make sense of the scene, _Syl's with the last two kids, fancy one and… Wait I thought she didn't have a home no more?_

"Oh, yeah they found the orlesian girl's home somewhere above Jader. Was crying all morning and tugging on the Boss's breeches," _shit no wonder she got dark circles under her eyes…_ "Said she was too scared to go by herself, so the Boss convinced the other little girl to go with her. Somethin' like that anyways."

"Wait, what? So the other kiddo ain't gonna stay with us?" Bull shrugged and shook his head, _he dunno either._ Her eyes snapped back at Lavellan who wrapped her scarf around Uvun's neck, _this don't make sense, what the fuck Syl? You avoided her but then you do this? What happened to righting wrongs?_ Anger boiled beneath the surface and her fists clenched, _all too happy to make a problem disappear, bet she planned this too. Easy way out._ As expected the dalish woman rose and didn't even bother hugging the two, it seemed as though Uvun expected this as well, her face stern as she instead hugged to comfort the crying orlesian girl. _Fuck, she's just begging to be smacked and get an arrow up her arse._

"Come on," the qunari disappeared into the main hall but Sera stayed to watch, her eyes watered yet she rapidly blinked the tears away. _I promised her Syl,_ she clenched her teeth, _that the three of us would do something when you finally stopped being stupid._ Sylvira stuffed her hands in her pockets as she at least  finally had the decency to watch the carriage go away this time unlike all the other times, yet as soon as they passed the gate she turned on her heel and began to walk towards the kitchen, _taking the longer way with less people._ This wasn't going to slide, Sera marched inside the main hall and rushed down the vault level, waiting with crossed arms until the mage re-appeared from the kitchen entrance. _Taking her friggin' sweet time. What happened to meeting in ten minutes huh?_ When the door finally opened, her rage reached it's zenith when Lavellan casually strolled through, a loaf of bread stuffed in her mouth and eyes widening as if confused why the archer was there.

 _What the fuck…_ "What is **wrong** with you Syl?" Sera snapped, _she don't even fucking care. Don't even look like she shut off again,_ the mage merely grinned radiantly, her cheeks stuffed and puffed out from the food as she chewed. Before she could say anything, the archer spun on her heel and stormed back up the stairs towards the war room, _she's fucking relieved. Looked proud of herself too!_ Her eye twitched when she made it to the council room, huffing in frustration and sighing exasperatedly, "Why am I not surprised?" There was a piece of parchment nailed to the door with chicken-scratch penmanship that only belonged to one certain woman, _didn't need your permission for this shite Syl, you're so fuckin' full of it._

 **WARNING: POLITICALLY INCORRECT AREA**

 _Anybody who enters this premises_ _will_ _encounter aggressive and/or offensive behavior._

 _Insensitivity is_ _authorized_ _._

 ***Your Favorite Inquisitor***

* * *

Shrugging off the completely confusing - _as usual_ \- behavior from the archer, Lavellan wolfed down the rest of her bread as she bounced up the steps, _two birds with one stone, marvelous plan. This way is_ _much_ _better._ She had a spring in her step and grinned smugly at the sight of the parchment nailed to the door, _wonder what Sera thought of that? She had to have laughed, hopefully it cheered her up a bit from whatever she's mad at._ She hummed at that, _maybe it's because she can't find the note?_ Realization dawned on her, _maybe she's angry I made her wait. Totally forgot and played chess with Dorian instead._ Her arrogant grin grew as she opened the door and theatrically walked in, "I almost showed up with a positive attitude," a few snickers, some scoffs and a couple groans, "But sarcasm stepped in and saved the day." _Kriegspiel time, my favorite game._ Her eyes fell on the Spymaster and the two nodded, she comfortably slipped into business mode, "First of all, I want to warn everybody to be on guard and extra alert this week. Ambassador Montilyet has secured our invitations to Empress Celene's ball but any number of things could go wrong, so-" there was a couple knocks and she glanced over her shoulder in confusion, "Enter!"

One of the Inquisition couriers stepped inside and had a bundle of envelopes in her satchel, Lavellan grinned coyly as her eyes trailed up and down the female scout, _quite an exotic woman._ "You have perfect timing, and might I add you look quite stunning in that gear." Another angry scoff in the midst of the quiet chuckles, the courier held out the envelopes in her gloved hand and Sylvira levitated the stack, floating it straight to Leliana, _the orlesian seal sure is... Lackluster for a royal_. The Spymaster cautiously plucked the envelopes from the air and the mage casually hooked her arm around the tired scout's shoulders, "For a job well done and not mucking it up like most sloggers 'round here, I'll treat you to a round of drinks myself." _Interesting sash she has, nimble fingers to tie a bow like that. She's quite skilled, that will come in handy,_ before the woman humbly protested Lavellan looked up, her eyes falling on Leliana first before she searched the crowd for the archer. Sera had been glowering dangerously as she leaned against the wall in the back, arms crossed and eyes flashing, _oh shit. This probably doesn't look too good,_ "Second of all… I can't remember it, so Leli can take over from here. If the world is ending soon I'll be at the tavern!" Dragging the scout out of the room and along in her arms, Sylvira grinned as she looked down at the hooded woman, "You sure like black, you one of them quiet, shy types?" The scout shook her head then pulled down her hooded helmet when Lavellan released her, "Even more beautiful with that rusted bucket off. Your hair's practical like Fereldan yet stylish like Orlais, nice 'tails like me. Good choice!"

"T-thank you, Your Worship," the mage glanced over her shoulder when they neared the tavern and for a moment could have sworn she saw something that oddly enough looked _very_ similar to a Red Jenny quickly dart behind the wall. _She's watching, good. At least she'll know what I'm actually doing._ When they entered the tavern, Sylvira led the way to Cabot then tapped on the bar and showed him two fingers. The woman timidly sat beside her and held out her hands, "These gloves are hard to take off, can you get them for me Inquisitor?"

"Sure thing no problem Tavhen," the mage flicked her wrists and off came the gloves, careful not to touch the tainted things and surprising the scout. She grinned charmingly as she levitated the gloves and promptly tossed them in the garbage behind Cabot, "Those were the only ugly things, if you ask me. Such a waste of one who possesses such beauty like yourself."

"I… Thank you," a slight tinge of red dusted the scout's cheeks, "May I ask what Tavhen is, Your Worship?"

"A nickname of mine," Lavellan nodded gratefully when the dwarven bartender brought their drinks over, she tapped the scout's mug and downed her ale all in one go. She wiped her lips with her forearm and smirked lazily as she leaned forward, "It suits you. Do you like it?" The woman leaned back slightly and nodded, "I like you Tavhen. How 'bout I treat you to the Inquisitor's special?"

"The special?"

"Mm-hmm," Sylvira grinned confidently as she waggled her eyebrows suggestively, "I'll show **you** why they call me the Inquisitor." She leaned forward and whispered in the scout's ear, "I conquer more than just land and fortresses, sweetheart." She sat back and her coy smile graced her face as she watched the woman's eyes darken, "Interested in seeing why they call us dalish 'wild elves'?" She swung off her stool and fished in her pocket for a couple coins, slamming it on the table for Cabot and walking towards the stairs with a sway of her hips. She glanced over her shoulder and chuckled when the scout followed her, an eager look on her face as Lavellan lead them to Sera's room upstairs. _Did she make it?_ Her stomach churned with anticipation as she opened the door for the woman and gestured inside, "Ladies first."

"Naughty, Your Worship," the scout teased with a sultry tone, "I'd do the same in your position, great minds think alike."

"You dirty bastard," the two women laughed, Sylvira stepped forward and closed the door, her coy grin growing at the courier's shocked expression. _Perfect, she figured it out._ Arrow in her peripheral vision, the mage crossed her arms with a victorious smirk, "Surprise sex! Threesomes sound fun."

"Shut up Syl, your jokes are lame," Sera snapped irritatedly, "Who's this bitch?" The scout glowered yet dared not move with the arrow pointed straight for her exposed head, her fingers twitched and flexed, _she knows the same second she reaches for the dagger is the same second she'll be decorating Sera's wall._

"Tavhen aka elvhen for Tevene, a woman who deluded herself into thinking she's a clever Venatori spy." _Which means there's more hiding among the Orlesian royalty if they knew about the invitations._ Lavellan shrugged, "Wearing tacky dark colors popular in Tevinter, a sorry excuse for a fake Royal Orlesian seal, Tevinter styled ponytail, Tevinter tied sash. My favorite is a courier who for some reason is wearing gloves -we know what that means right Sera? Despite how the others always complain how difficult it is to handle parchments with such clunky -oh and **poisoned** \- gloves. It's almost like you're begging for-"

"Syl. **Not** funny." _Yeesh, at least let me finish the joke before you get jealous._

"Dirty bastard indeed, Tavhen." The imposter shifted uncomfortably and the mage clicked her tongue, "Clever, but not clever enough. I hate to disappoint such a pretty thing, but you've killed nobody in the name of Rock-Brains today. Your trap is foiled and my Spymaster will be able to trace your origin -who by the way is also wearing gloves so she's safe- and will most probably assassinate any friends and family you have, congratulations for fucking up! Would you like to say anything before you see the color of your brains is or did Coryphelus already eat them?"

"I can see now why Calpernia and Corypheus fear you and I respect that," the scout hastily blurted in desperation, "I can serve you." _This is the part where I should ask her if I'm stupid but then Sera will be sassy and say that I am, not badass._

"As they should," Sylvira nodded in agreement, her ego stroked and an arrogant grin on her face. "Serving me sounds reasonable and you seem relatively intelligent, or rather at least I'm confident you're not stupid enough to cross me again." _She's_ _definitely_ _a dumbass._

"Fuck that Syl!" Sera glared at her, "Yer gonna strike a deal with her after she tried to poison all of us? Are you fucking kidding me?" _If the Venatori are using my own soldiers against me, then who's to say I can't do the same?_

"She's got nimble hands, and it's such a waste to kill a beautiful snake. You know I treat women like treasure," the mage's eyes honed in on the imposter, "You will be working directly under the supervision of-" she flicked her wrist upwards and pushed the arrow up with her magic, interrupting Sera's attempt to kill the scout anyways, "My Spymaster. You will only listen and answer to my commands, nobody else. You also owe me your life twice over now." The archer huffed angrily and tossed her bow on the floor, she spat on Lavellan's boots as she ripped open the door and marched out. _She had to spit on my boots too, seriously? So troublesome._

"As you wish, Your Worship." The woman bowed her head and crossed her arm to salute in respect, "What would you ask of me?"

"Your first task for now is to head West to Orlais, there is a carriage en route to the city of Jader." The scout's eyes snapped directly to hers and Lavellan smiled, _good she knows where it is._ "I want you to go and watch the carriage, ensure that it  remains safe." She turned on her heel and shoved her hands in her pockets, "This is a test of your loyalty to me. No breaks, no meals. Leave now." _She is a poisoned pawn._

"At once, Your Worship." The mage waited until the scout brushed past her and rushed down the stairs, _she's so excited she forgot to literally stab me in the back before she left. Oh well works for me,_ Sylvira sighed as she mused on how to approach Sera now, a slow yet casual stride as she hummed an idle tune. She knew exactly what await her in her chambers, _I believe I'll need to ask Josephine to just requisition the entirety of my room, instead. I'm sure I'm about to see white everywhere in my quarters rather than Cassandra's._ Another sigh, she rubbed her temples to soothe the dull headache, _all I can do now is wait for all the reports to come in._ A small smile as she chuckled under her breath, _and wait for the enemy's move on the board. This, Dorian, is why one cannot be defined as either a positional or tactical player. Having preferences means having weaknesses._ As she climbed up the steps to the main hall and strode towards her chambers, she muttered bitterly as her pride waged war with her doubts.

"And I am not weak."


	13. Busting Walls, Building Bridges

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Rest assured Nyx, I've big plans for Uvun too and she'll have a big role in this story (it'll be thoroughly much to Sylvira's displeasure when the two grow closer and Syl sees what sort of trolling monster Uvun is :P). Alas, school is starting soon :( I'm  still in denial about it all! Nonetheless I hope to keep up the usual pace of whichever story/character I feel like writing for so hopefully the pace of which I trek out chapters remain relatively the same.

Again as usual my excitement has taken over my judgment and I've gone ahead to publish the last character Terra. Keep an eye out for that, the story is called _**Unbreakable**_. Now the fun will start of juggling all four elements and see how vastly diverse each personality/character is as well as what Sera is like with them, and pointing out the similarities/differences between each Lavellan too!

* * *

 **Busting Walls, Building Bridges**

* * *

Bracing herself as she stared at the slightly open door to her chambers, Sylvira yanked off her shirt and grabbed each end, stretching it above her head. Instead of walking straight through, she pushed the door little by little with her toes, craning her neck and looking above at the bucket contraption the archer set up. _My entire room is likely rigged like this._ She inspected the trap, _oh hey,_ her eyes widened, _that's genius, I can use that for the bath schematic!_ Every detail burned into her mind and eager to write it in the plans, she gave herself adequate distance but stopped before she kicked the door open, _it's happened again, why? If I truly wouldn't want a mess on me I could step back and push the door open with magic._ Images of Sera angry flashed within her mind and the mage sighed quietly, _if this will make her feel better I'll just fall for it then._

Not as willing for her clothes to once again get caught up in the mix she undressed, knowing everything inside is possibly either tossed, ripped, spilled, pissed or shat on, _never again will I dare and call a bluff on that, that was a nasty surprise that one time._ Lavellan tossed the shirt aside then bent down and undid the buckles on her boots, she hooked her thumbs in the waist band of her breeches and pulled them down easily leaving nothing but her underclothes, _I can deal with not wearing anything underneath._ She carefully fished in the pockets of the pants for the new pipe she picked up from Harritt before coming here, giving it an appreciative look before wrapping it up in the breeches and shirt to ensure that if there was collateral damage then the pipe would still be relatively untainted.

 _Here goes nothing,_ she steeled herself and confidently strolled right through, eyes closing in reflex as she felt the thickened milk crash down on her and shuddered as the cold liquid slid down her spine. _I need to tell Gatsi to work on the bath up here instead of the library, this freaking reeks worse than rotten eggs._ Her lips quirked in a smile as she heard the mischievous cackles, _wait until I kiss her, see how she likes that._ "Not as funny when y'know it's gonna happen though unless you just felt like stripping," Sera commented idly, the mage wiped her eyes with the inner side of her forearm that wasn't  as bad as the rest of her, opening only to see the archer sitting on the stairs with her elbows on her knees and resting her chin on the heel of her palm.

"I felt like stripping. Feel better?" The rogue shrugged then nodded slightly, "Just imagine the next war-room meeting, then." Sera looked upwards as she thought, a grin suddenly sweeping across her face as she looked back down at Lavellan, "Yup, that's what I thought." She strode towards the archer who reacted immediately, laughing as she hopped up and ran inside, "Come on I only want to hug and kiss!"

"Yeah not happening! Go do that with that bitch you cut a deal with instead," _here we go. I was just waiting for that._ "Better have a good reason for that Syl, or I swear-"

"Are you familiar with chess, Sera?" Sylvira interjected as she walked up the steps, pleasantly surprised her room was still relatively intact. Many more things -mainly clothes- have gone missing of course, but at least the dirty pile of clothes remained. She plucked the softer shirts and bent at the waist, flipping her hair over in front of her face and giving it a good shake as she rubbed herself off with the shirts.

"Sorta, think it's boring though. Dunno how you like playing that when Wicked Grace is way better."

"It's a strategy game," the mage shrugged and smiled coyly, "The war room, the table and everything decided there is like a game of chess. The Kriegspiel, to be precise, a variant of chess in which the player sees their own pieces but not the opponents."

"This ain't a fucking chess game Syl," Sera spat warningly, "There are people-"

"For that purpose," Lavellan interrupted calmly, "A third person is needed." The archer looked at her with a confused look, and she left Sera to think on that briefly as she descended the stairs to gather her untainted clothes. She continued to muse on how to explain her plan in a way the rogue will understand and not fly off the handle, she kicked the bucket to the side then closed the door and walked back up the steps. "In the game of chess, that spy is akin to a poisoned pawn: an unprotected piece that causes… 'Difficulty' when captured," she grinned when Sera seemed to actually pay attention, "Even if she's 'released' she'll still be causing difficulty for her buddies soon enough."

"What…?"

"You see, the reason we work quite well together is because during interrogation we naturally fit in the roles of good guy and bad guy." Sylvira pulled her socks on then carefully unraveled the breeches and shirt, carefully placing the new pipe on the bed. She poked the side of her head, "A psychological trick, whether she is consciously aware or not isn't important. She saw and now recognizes I have -quite literally- saved her life when I pushed your arrow out of the way, she feels she is in debt to me."

"Syl that ain't enough to earn someone's trust and loyalty y'know. Plenty of things try to kill people everyday."

"Exactly." Lavellan smiled as she pulled on her pants, "I don't expect her to pay her debt to me but she will go where I want her to, I've set her up instead." She wrestled her shirt on and folded the sleeves to her elbows, "Once she feeds the information to her buddies, they'll all walk hand-in-hand into a lovely trap constructed by yours truly. The poisoned pawn will deliver my checkmate for me." _And_ _the kids will remain safe until I see them again._

"I'm lost, this is makin' my head hurt luv. Can't you speak plain? What the fuck is the point of all this, who the hell are you 'checkmating' or whatever?"

"That remains to be seen, yet. At the moment it's simply King Hunting or rather Venatori Hunting provided they take the bait," _and it'll test Vaughan too._ Sylvira grinned as she strode to the archer casually lying on the bed, she stabilized herself as she rested a hand and knee on the mattress then lowered. As expected her lips collided with a soft palm and she muffled slightly, "Interested in knowing which piece you are on the board?"

"Not really, unless yer _interested_ in getting smacked, arse."

"Smacking my arse huh," she snickered when Sera pinched the bridge of her nose in retaliation, "Why's that?" The dalish woman pulled away from the aggressive palm and noticed the warning glare, she couldn't pass up the chance to tease, "Ah, you have already figured yourself the pawn, I take it? That would be doing disrespecting the pawn, they're still quite valuable after all," she chuckled when Sera thwacked her across the head and leaned back, she walked to her desk and took stock of what was thrown out, _she left my books, perfect._ "They say the King is the most valuable piece on the board, I disagree. Of course the King is needed in order to win or lose, but that's it. The King is limited, the King is weak, it's a slave to itself," she spat bitterly and reached for her glasses, "The King needs to use and sacrifice others to protect itself. No matter who or what the cost."

"So yer saying," disapproval and venom practically dripped from the archer's mouth, "I'm the King then?"

"Not at all," Sylvira slid her glasses on and opened the drawers, searching the old journal the rogue returned, "I am the King and you..." Her head tilted down as she flipped through pages, she smiled softly as she glanced up above the rim of the glasses, "You are my Queen, the most valuable piece. One who can do whatever she wills but cannot move through her own pieces, her allies." She chuckled when Sera's lips parted then sealed, her expression contorted from one of defiance to confusion, _she's upset that I called her mine._ "The King is afraid to lose the Queen," _this describes her perfectly,_ "And the Queen risks everything just to protect her King." What looked to be a sassy retort instead suddenly switched to a look of curiosity.

"Why's the King the weakest, if it's s'posto be important?" A small eye twitch, _she never gets that she asks me the most difficult questions._ Lavellan watched carefully, deducing it wasn't the question she dreaded but one of chess.

"The piece is flexible in which it can move one square in any direction if it isn't blocked by allies," _and you always defy rules, I'm bound by them,_ "But that's it. The King cannot move where it would lead to capture and therefore Checkmate, and because of fear as such it is usually coddled as it cowers. It does not typically charge through the ranks undaunted, fearless and willing to sacrifice oneself because as such that would result in a game over." The mage flipped to the next page in the journal, refreshing her mind of more old patterns and techniques as she murmured sadly, "It must manipulate and rely on other pieces to do it's dirty work as such."

"Does it have to?" Sylvira was about to chuckle and sarcastically quip about the rules of the game but instead she froze, gaping at the archer's suggestion, "What, why you lookin' at me like that? S'like cards innit? Make your own rules or game, do whatever ya want." _She may actually be on to something and she doesn't realize it._

"I get where you're coming from but that's not how it works, you have to-"

"Don't havta do anything Syl. Change it, better not get a big head from this but yer smart enough to do this sorta shite. Like how Solas and Varric keep tellin' me 'bout the Jennies, yeah? Do this, do that, I'm just me, and I like this. But you're you, and yer sulky face tells me you don't like it. So, change it," Sera grinned mischievously, _I know what that look means,_ "It's that simple." _She's caught on that I loathe that word._

"Nothing," she folded the corner of one page then set the journal face down on the desk, "Is ever simple."

"You an' me do nothing every day, so looks to me it is."

"Even you can see that all of this is a delicate system, the world is not a place where one can say oops! Let's change this, it sucks."

"Jennies do." The archer laughed when Lavellan groaned outwardly, _we'll argue about this for hours if-_ a few knocks at the door, _perfect timing!_ She quickly removed her glasses and stuffed them in the pocket of her breeches, glancing at Sera with a silent plea and hoping she got the hint to stay quiet about them.

"Enter!" Sylvira waited with bated breath, her eyes lighting up when she saw exactly who she's been waiting for, she noticed the way the Ambassador's nose crinkled as her eyes darted left and right. "The smell is because S-"

"Syl farted."

"What?! You did, not me!"

"Pbbfft no, you did!"

"We both did!" Josephine shifted uncomfortably as she waited with a strained smile and the two mischievous elves grinned. "Anyways," the mage settled into business mode and stole a glance from the corner of eye at Sera, _I hope she really does stay quiet about the glasses, I trust her but not her mouth._ "Have they sent out the shipment?"

"Yes," the Ambassador reluctantly walked forward and carefully sifted through the leftover wreckage of the room, her disapproving eyes skittering around as she tried to keep her expression composed. She held out a couple of reports, "Leliana informed me that thus far the scouts have seen the Arlessa arrive in Denerim. It seems she sent out a messenger bird so the shipment of coin she's promised us will arrive." The mage grabbed the parchments and tried to read the blurred lines, she pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out a low sigh, _I need to take a nap soon or do something to relax._ The more she tried to focus the more her head ached, she gritted her teeth and pretended she was reading as she shifted to the second parchment. _Annoying._

"Good work," Lavellan looked up and nodded, "Split the coin for us and however much the farmers need, nothing more nothing less. They'll need some compensation and help in order to replace the damage that's done to their property, in doing so see if you can secure a deal with them to trade with Denerim. Have the Arl believe he owes us a favor for the sudden influx of food," she handed the reports back, "I'm sure we'll be able to use that someday."

"You don't want to secure the stockpiles for ourselves?"

"No, I took a look at Leliana's reports not too long ago and we're well off as it stands currently, we've other means of acquiring if we run low. One last thing before you show yourself out, I'll need you to requisition some things for this room," the dalish woman smirked when Sera snickered quietly, she waited when Josephine dipped her quill in the inkpot and nodded to signal she was ready to write. _Since all of my stuff will probably be thrown out anyways I should keep it small._ "Bedsheets, one quill, three inkpots, two cloth-wrapped lead, two bundles of parchments both large and regular sized. Clothes too maybe just two or three outfits, you already know what I typically like to wear," she looked around, "That's all I think." Her eyes fell on the pipe on the bed, "Ah and as many containers of crushed elf-root, finest quality you can find and afford with spare expenses. How is my last requisition order coming along, have you found a craftsman yet?"

"I have, Andrea Amati." _I said a craftsman and she gets me the freaking genius of them all, I love this woma_ _n_ _._ "I've already sent the necessary plans, materials and coin, he has stated it should take roughly a month barring any interruptions before the final product is complete." _And_ _with his new designs I'll probably get the four-stringed variant, even more interesting_ _._ "He has also agreed to engrave the motto and paint the symbols that you have detailed in your schematics." _He could accomplish what I want in his sleep, I bet._

"Perfect. If you go over budget let me know and I'll pay it back," Sylvira rounded around the desk and sat down in her chair, she gestured with her hand towards the stairs, "Dismissed, Ambassador Montilyet." Josephine bowed herself out and the mage sighed tiredly as she rubbed her temples, she scooted the chair farther away and rested her legs on the desk then crossed ankles, waiting until she heard the click of the door.

"Headache huh?" _More like dynamites exploding in my head,_ "Needa take a break Syl, you been working lots. Yer eyes got darker circles than Red and Ruffles now." _She's the only one who notices._

"Yeah," Lavellan reached inside her pockets and pulled out the glasses, reluctantly sliding them on her face as she picked up the journal to continue where she'd left off, "Gonna take a nap soon. Interested in joining me or going to go see what reports Leli has on the Jennies in Amaranthine?" Her eyebrow rose in interest when she looked above the rim of the glasses, Sera smirked mischievously as she sauntered towards the table, _I see, interested in neither._ "What a coincidence, I was just having dirty thoughts about you too. I've always been a fan of the motto 'less stress more sex'." She all too eagerly retracted her feet from the table, letting the archer pluck the book from her fingers and abandon it on top of the desk. Sera swung her leg over and straddled the mage's thighs, wrapping her arms around Sylvira's neck as she went in for the kill and crashed their mouths together.

 _Always fantasized about something like this,_ the dalish woman's hands smoothed under both red shirts and danced along the waist, her eyes dilated with excitement, _it seems she has as well for her to cave in to desire this easily._ As soon as the archer released her hold on the lips, Lavellan leaned forward and craned her neck lower as she sucked and nibbled on the creamy throat, _at least I don't have to push her into it, I wonder what changed? I actually miss her teasing games a little,_ she grinned when she felt the vibrations of the guttural moan, chuckling darkly when Sera seemed intent on withholding all sounds, _as usual._ "You're making me work after saying I should take a break, you make no sense."

"Shut up," the rogue huffed and leaned back to glare warningly, "At least yer getting your stupid lap dance."

"But you're not dancing," Sylvira quipped and smirked smugly when Sera rolled her eyes, "I'll change that soon." Her hands ghosted higher underneath the shirts and she relaxed back in her chair as she watched the archer's expression contort before it composed as a symbol of defiance. The glazed and heated gaze sent heat pooling to the pits of her stomach and she murmured huskily as she licked her lips, "I'll make you sing too." Anticipation thrumming strongly, she swallowed the lump lodged in her throat as her right hand blindly slid over the soft material of the bra as she tenderly knead the breast. Her left hand lowered and merely supported the rogue by the hip, Lavellan licked her lips again when they dried at the sight before her. Anxiety churned in her stomach and she contemplated whether to go through with it all or not, her eyes dipped lower and gave what little of the stomach she could see an appreciative look, the shirts just slightly risen thanks to the arm underneath.

 _Shouldn't we do this differently?_ "Syl," the archer rasped lowly and arched into the hand, she rested her palms on Sylvira's shoulders as her hips subconsciously shifted, grinding on the mage's lap. _Fuck feelings, I don't get this,_ "More, quit teasing. No more games, tricks or stupid talking." _I want to do this and yet it feels so wrong._ Wasting no time when Sera stripped both shirts at once and unclasping the bra, Lavellan removed her glasses with her left hand and tossed it on top of the desk. _I want to._ The woman leaned forward and her instincts screamed at her not to, her breath tickling Sera's breast as she hesitated, "I said quit teasing," the rogue growled, "Why-"

"I can't." Lavellan closed her eyes and sat back in her chair, _fuck,_ "Sorry," she covered her eyes with her palm, "I don't understand it myself."

"Uh… Okay, what? You can't not tease or somethin'?"

"It's just-" the mage let out a frustrated sigh, "Fuck feelings. This feels wrong and I don't know why." Her palm slipped away and she opened her eyes, frowning at Sera's amused expression, "Don't laugh, this is a serious issue! There's got to be something seriously wrong with me, maybe I have lost it? Who doesn't touch a topless woman sitting on their fucking lap? I-"

"Slow down luv," the archer bent over by the side and plucked the shirts, swiftly wrestling them on much to Sylvira's dismay. When her head poked through the hole her radiant grin brightened up the room, "I gotta remember this sulky look on your face first."

" **Sera**!"

"What? Miss smartiepants is being bested by feelings, it's friggin' priceless." _Not for me…_ "And the one time you finally think there's something wrong with you is because you don't feel like havin' sex for freaking-surprising-once, maybe coz there wasn't 'nough talking for you?" _It's not that I don't feel like doing it… Fuck I don't know!_ The rogue's grin grew wider as Lavellan pouted, she climbed off the woman's lap and hopped back to sit on the desk, "Look, luv. Trying to figure out _why_ with feelings is like tryin' to explain what water tastes like, that's just how it **is**."

An irritated sigh, the mage leaned forward and buried her face in her hands as Sera chuckled, "Well yeah but… Fuck come on, the one time a fantasy comes true and this happens? It doesn't make any sense."

"It's not s'posto," the archer leaned forward and gingerly cupped Sylvira's chin to guide her head up, _and the one time she actually wants it too, it's still clear in her eyes._ "Fantasy, huh?" _Why isn't she pushing me?_ "When did it start to feel wrong?"

"The moment my hand slid under your shirt," Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed in thought, "It felt even worse when you got rid of your shirts, like I..." Her eyes dipped down as she stared blankly at the rogue's chest, Sera chuckled again.

"Like you…?"

"Like I," the dalish woman searched the brown-green orbs for answers, _she always helps me think things through out loud._ "I don't know. It felt wrong for me to see you that way?" She frowned at the amusement dancing in the razor sharp slits, _she think it's funny because before I'd have jumped and cheered, torn off her clothes_ _for_ _her._ "I don't know w-"

"You do know, but you shut off."

"...What?"

"Got that look in your eyes Syl. I been seeing it for a while," Sera flicked the woman's forehead, "You shut off whatever feels wrong, is all. Turn it back on." _So, what, it's off but it's warning me?_

"I don't think it works that way," _and it makes no sense._ Sylvira watched her with skepticism, "It's not-"

"It's that simple," the archer grinned, "You wanna get feelings? Quit shutting them off."

"It's not like I do it on purpose, Sera."

"Bullshit. You were the one that told me pain's like any feeling, you shut it off when you need to. That's fucked up luv, you shouldn't be doing that kinda shite coz you **gotta** feel, you ain't living otherwise." The mage gazed for what seemed like an eternity as Sera's words sank in, _so then_ _how am I supposed to just turn it back on, flip a switch and voila!_ She pursed her lips and leaned back into the chair, a low sigh escaped her.

"If I don't know what I shut off, how can I turn it back on?" The archer shrugged then hopped off the desk and straddled Lavellan's thighs, "Uh, not that I'm complaining but-" the shirts were off again and the dalish woman gaped slack jawed as her eyes drank in the wonderful sight. _She has absolutely no fucking problem doing this with me now that I'm struggling with all this crap, I don't get any of this!_ "Sera," determined to get an answer she looked up, "There **has** to be a reaso-"

"There **isn't**." _It's got to be a joke for her, a prank and she's teasing me this way,_ _something!_

"There has to be! You'd have chewed me out for being a loser who can't commit and you'd be on the fence, but now you're just… Just ripping clothes off, slapping me with chances and breasts instead of hands. Why?" Realization dawned on her and Lavellan's eyes widened at the rogue's half-smirk, "No way..." _Fuck. Now we're both fucked._ " **You** don't know either." _And she's alright with that?!_

"Right."

"Wrong! Everything's wrong with that," the archer's laughter bounced off the walls and Sylvira sighed, a lump gradually grew in her throat and she rested against the chair as her eyes appreciatively trailed along the topless form. _I was nervous earlier when we stripped to our underclothes, and she's comfortable, she trusts me._ Sera grinned as the mage studied her with a focused look, imprinting every freckle, every curve, every scar of the anatomy displayed before her directly into her memory. "I've never gotten to see them this close," she murmured in awe and the rogue snickered, _they look different than the pictures in the tome._ "I don't understand, so why did you take your shirts off? You do know that at least right?"

"Dunno," Sera grinned when the mage glanced up with a warning look before going back to observe and study, _I'm surprised she's letting me do this._ _I'd reckon that_ _m_ _ost people would feel_ _awkward_ _being examined like this,_ "Thought it might help you figure it out if you felt the same way again." _The same way,_ Lavellan's eyebrows knitted in irritation, _it's there, but not as strong as before._

"Can I touch?"

" **You** , permission?" _You make it sound like I go off_ _molesting_ _people_ _as part of my daily agenda_ _._ _It will be, with you, someday._ "Oh this is too~ good," _that's the_ _goal_ _._ Sera chuckled, "Do what you want Syl." _Anything?_ _Why does she suddenly trust me_ _this much_ _? I'd have been chewed out just for the prospect of me complimenting another woman._ Sylvira looked up then back down at the archer's breasts, her hand slowly reached and the feelings grew stronger, _there it is._

"Touching you feels wrong. I don't know why..." _I thought_ _with her knowing about my past_ _then_ _things would be better_ _, I don't kn-_ sudden guilt welled up in her and her eyes widened with realization, _it's not the past_ _. I_ _t's the future_ _,_ her lips pursed and her gaze fell again, the rogue's head tilted in confusion. _It's because I know she'll be upset with me after finding out what I've done this time,_ her eyes softened and she smiled meekly, _the kids…_

"Syl?" _It'd be wrong to touch her, because_ _later_ _she'_ _ll_ _regret it and_ _hate it. Hate me._ The woman sighed and bent over to retrieve the shirts, Sera stared blankly before reluctantly accepting them and rising from her lap to re-dress. _I don't want her to hate me._ "Did you figure it out?" Lavellan grinned radiantly as she looked back up at the archer, _I can wait, she's worth waiting for._

"It feels wrong because I'm not ready." _Partly true, she won't be able to 'smell' my bullshit._

"And is that coz I don't know something?" _What?_ Sylvira composed her features to reveal nothing and subtly swallowed the rising lump, _it's not possible for her to know_ _unless Leliana told her, highly unlikely_ _._ "The cabin," the rogue rotated her torso and reached for the glasses on the table, dangling them in her hands, "You told me it wouldn't feel right without me knowing first, is it coz of these?" _Well, that's another reason now but I've already been trying to work through that._ Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed as she averted her gaze, _if I open my mouth she'll know something's up_. Sera interpreted that as an answer to her question and slid open a drawer to hide the glasses, turning to pat the mage's cheek as she grinned, "I won't push, whenever you're ready to talk 'bout it, yeah?" _What the hell? Well I'm not complaining, this is a nice change._ "Now come on," she grasped Sylvira's wrists and pulled her to stand, dragging the woman towards the bed, "You needa grab some shut-eye before you pass out."

"I can stay up another-"

"No."

"But I don't wanna sleep yet," the mage flashed a charming grin when Sera shot her a murderous look, "Wicked Grace?"

"No!"

"Rum and coin?"

"Are you seriously fucking bribing me?"

"Yeah? I don't wanna sleep in the middle of the day and I'm waiting on important reports."

" **Exactly** why you needa sleep in the middle of the friggin' day," the archer shoved her down on the bed and quickly straddled her waist, a devilish grin swept her features, "If you don't sleep-"

"Sex?"

"Wot? No ye daft tit! And what the fuck happened to not being ready?!"

A shrug, "I changed my mind." Lavellan laughed when Sera groaned and rested her head on the dalish woman's shoulder, _it's too fun to annoy her with the same things she does._ "It's not like you can force me to sleep."

"Oh yes I can," the rogue shot back up and her eyes danced with mischief, "Lots of ways, too."

"Like sex?" The last thing the mage saw before the darkness swallowed her were the eyes belonging to a elvenized rage demon before something smacked the side of her head. _This typically results in permanent sleep._

* * *

"An arse is what she is," Sera scoffed and clinked mugs with Bull, "Not an arsehole, just a big flippin' arse."

"So that's why you like smacking her so much," the qunari quipped and chuckled at the murderous glare, "You shoot looks like that but everybody knows you like it."

"Shut up. She's the loser who likes it," the archer hid her smirk behind the mug as she tilted her head back and chugged the mead, she let out a content sigh as wiped her lips with her sleeve to catch whatever spilled down her chin. She took stock of the barren tavern, _shite what's going on,_ _there's barely anyone here..._

"So **that's** why you smack her!"

"Shut it before I smack you ye daft tit," Sera laughed as she rose from the table, "Gettin' more, you in?" The qunari waved one finger to signal how many he wanted, _not in the mood_ _to get shit faced_ _tonight huh?_ She nodded as she swayed towards the bartender, "Oi Cabot!" She grinned when the dwarf grumbled and flipped both her middle fingers, "Two rounds big guy!" The disgruntled bartender disappeared in the back to open a new cask and reappeared soon after, giving a full bottle instead, "Sweet, not that I'm complainin' but what for?"

"Business has been slow and morale's low," Cabot explained, as he pointed to both Sera then Bull, "Start a party." _Shit,_ the rogue looked over at Bull, _he still seems off 'bout Moustache and Syl is_ _sle_ _-_ as if on cue, the tavern door was kicked open and revealed a certain unkempt mage.

"Aye- _yoh_! Leave it to the professional!"

"What the fuck?!" _She's only been out for a couple hours for shit's sake,_ "Go back to sleep Syl!" _Was she waiting at the door or what?! I bet she planned this too,_ the archer's eyebrow rose in confusion when Lavellan dragged in a very unhappy looking tevinter man by the wrist, _uh, or she's not here for a party?_

"Bull move the tables, it's full house Wicked Grace tonight!" _Or she is? Fuck I'm so confused!_ Sylvira either did not give a flying fuck about Bull's current situation, or she did not give a flying fuck about Dorian's current situation. Or both. Nonetheless, she situated the tevinter man right beside Bull when the tall giant easily dragged a second table just by pulling on the edge. _Does Syl not know_ _'bout 'em_ _?_ The dalish woman glared at Dorian and the reluctant mage sighed as he sat down, "Sera keep an eye on them," she glanced over her shoulder, "You have authorization to use  any means necessary to keep their asses sitting right here. They aren't allowed to move a muscle unless it's towards each other," _o_ _r maybe she does?_

"The heck are you doin' luv?"

"The magnificent Inquisitor," Lavellan grinned arrogantly and thumbed to herself, "Is starting a party for all the dreary sloggers to cheer the hell up. Got some weirdos dressed up outside and the lower courtyard -for some reason- has a huge bonfire," _oh_ _shit_ _._ The woman shrugged, "Anyways, lemme go grab whoever else wants to play!" Before the archer could stop Sylvira the mage tumbled out quickly, Sera let out a sigh as she looked at the two men shifting awkwardly at their table, _f_ _uck_ _sake._

"Just fuckin' kiss and fuck already, you'll both do it anyways and you'll feel better sooner." _Syl can't start a party today,_ Sera looked worriedly at the door, _don't she know what today is?_ _She's gonna piss off everyone!_ The rogue looked over at Cabot who merely shrugged as he wiped a cup down, she'd never seen the dwarven bartender so happy and grin as if all was right in the world. Then she looked at the counter. _Oh._

It was lined up with bottles of rum.

* * *

 _I'm so fucked, so~ soso fucked._ Sylvira was currently hugging her knees as she forcefully sandwiched herself in one of Dorian's closets filled to the brim with stylish robes, she was being hunted by a very disgruntled Seeker who _oddly enough_ was completely immune to the mage's _irresistible_ charms. _How the fuck was I supposed to remember today was All Soul's Day?! Fuck,_ after she'd gathered all the smirking companions who oddly enough had mischief in their eyes when they looked at the mage, _and in which I was stupid enough to assume it was because of cards,_ Sera sold the woman out by shouting outside for Cassandra to come and see the party. _They all set me up, every single one of them!_ Being the stout believer Cassandra is, it hadn't taken long for the Seeker to pop a fuse and chase down Lavellan to give her an earful on Andrastian tradition. _I'm not a fucking believer, why do I have to follow this shit? And what did I do for Sera to sell me out this time?! Fuck this is stupid, they're all stupid!_

Heart racing when she heard footsteps she swallowed the thick lump lodged in her throat as quietly as possible then held her breath, grateful the sounds were missing a familiar clinking quality, _unless she took off her armor, highly unlikely. Unless she wanted to trick me, also highly unlikely. Wonder who it is?_ Her eyes widened and her lips pursed, her chest ached from the erratic beating of her heart when the footsteps seemed to head straight for her, _oh I'm so fucked._ The closet door opened just a small crack and she rose her finger to her lips, squinting when the light shone brightly on her one eye "Shh," _maybe there's still some hope._ "I'm hiding from stupid people." The young man looked immensely troubled, _huh?_ "Cole what's-" the closet door opened and revealed both Cole and a certain woman who's sweet smile closely resembled a Terror's grin, _I'M SO FUCKED! Why is it still not for the right fucking reason?!  
_

"Inquisitor," Cassandra started as she took a step forward, the mage retaliated by bolting out on her hands and knees as she rushed down the tower's stairs, "You can't hide forever! You **will** -"

"I don't believe in the fucking Maker, I just barely believe in my **own** gods!" Sylvira shouted as she jumped the last set of stairs, "Cole quit helping Cassandra, you're helping her kill me!" She grinned in triumph when she heard the Seeker's frantic protests in the distance as she cut across Solas's room and out in the main hall, _think, where the fuck can I go that she'd never find me?_ The first place that came to mind made her groan out loud, _if it saves me from a lecture and would be the last place she'll look I've got no choice._ Not wasting any time, the mage's head whipped left and right as she checked the main hall, the entire hall had been eerie and dim lit, _no witnesses, perfect!_ She heard the echoes of armored footsteps slamming down the stairs and immediately sprang into action, sprinting across the hall and towards the garden. _I'll believe in your fucking Maker if he helps spare me from your stupid lectures,_ she flicked her wrists to open the doors and quickly closed them as she passed by to ensure Cassandra wouldn't see or hear where she'd gone. She charged through the garden and head straight for the miniature Chantry, _fuck I'm so lucky everyone's at that Andraste pyre play thing whatever the fuck they're doing._ With the sun setting and hiding behind the tallest tower, shadows draped the garden and Sylvira checked over her shoulder when her hand fell on the handle of the door, _good she hasn't found me yet. Hope Cole listened or I'm extra fucked,_ she chewed on her lip and stared at the door as she recalled words she told Sera earlier that evening, _this is a really bad omen, sign, feeling, whatever._

 _ **The King cannot move where it would lead to capture and therefore Checkmate...**_

 _An absolute pin. I have no choice dammit!_ Sucking in a breath and steeling herself, Lavellan quickly opened the door and stepped inside, simultaneously spinning on her heel to close the door as quietly as possible, _fuck this door is heavy._ She let out a low sigh, "I'm going to put up another sign outside this door that says 'Please: No explanations inside the Chantry' and-" dread filled her the second she heard a quiet snicker behind her, she whirled around so fast she nearly gave herself whiplash and her eyes widened in disbelief, " **Sera**?! What are- _mmpfh!_ " The archer rushed forward and clamped her hand over Lavellan's mouth, hissing quietly in a low whisper, _I don't get it, why is she here?_

"Pipe down or Cass'll hear you and we'll both be fu-" the rogue glanced over her shoulder then back at Sylvira as she finished in a hushed tone, "In trouble." _What… Was that?_ "Figured this'd be the last place anyone would find me, you too huh?" The mage nodded dumbly as she continued to gape, Sera removed her hand and took a step back, "Wipe that look off your face, loser." She spun on her heel and looked up at the statue, her voice hushed that Lavellan was sure her ears were playing tricks on her, "Sometimes I come here."

"There are better places to hide," the dalish woman's head tilted in confusion when Sera glanced over her shoulder then back at the statue, "I'm lost. Are you trying to tell me you-"

"You ain't the only one who's got confessions to make," the rogue retorted then turned around, steeling herself for Sylvira's reaction, "Look it's what I do. Go on and get it out yer system," _s_ _he comes here to what, pray or confess sins? Sera? Yeah right this is definitely a prank, and the Chantry itself is a big fat joke._

"I just… Well," the mage pursed her lips in a failed attempt not to smile, the corner quirked up in a half-smirk regardless, "It's just ironic is all." Lavellan stepped forward and stood beside the confused archer, "A small cult formed spreading the stories of how Andraste fought a tyrannical empire, only for her followers to become one themselves." She shrugged when she could _feel_ the angry glare, "I just don't see the point in all of this," she gestured to the statue with her hand, " **Everybody** is killing each other to see who has the better imaginary friend, and for what? A pissing contest to brag who's the winner? In this world only two things matter: coin and power, something a lot more useful than a conveniently-transparent god and even you can agree with that." _I used to be like her and clung to god before I knew better. S_ _he will learn just as I have,_ she averted her gaze down then to Sera, "Elfy elves, humans, qunari, dwarves, venatori, darkspawn, magisters, antivans, I bet animals too, everybody has fallen into one grand intricate trap. Marvelous, whoever concocted it," she looked back at the statue, "Ah yes. The-"

"Don't even try to say she did this on purpose and planned all this fuckin' shite ahead to screw everyone like how **you** do Syl," Sera spat vehemently, _well I wasn't going to blame the statue_. "People  believe in what they fight for, it don't havta be 'useful' or 'logical', they just do coz it feels right." _Exactly what I was going to blame it on. The heart._

"No I know that it certainly has it's uses, it helps control the population and helps people sleep better at night," Sylvira quipped and shrugged when she turned her head, "Why are you so angry with me? I'm speaking my mind, like usual. People believe what they believe, and I believe what I believe."

"But you're **wrong**." _Right, can't argue with feelings. They make up their own grounds._

"Ah, yes. There is a golden statue collecting coin without needing to do anything but stand and look pretty. Therefore my argument is automatically invalid," she looked at the statue, "I commend your business sense and respect your ability to-"

"Shut up Syl," Sera huffed, "Yer gonna piss off the big guy and-"

"And what, he'll punish me, kill me?" Lavellan chuckled, "Gods don't kill people Sera," she turned to the archer and her face darkened, "People with gods kill people. All these stories of what happens to you is hearsay, nonsense created by professional storytellers like Varric. Not gods. I'm not scared of dying, I won't even know that I'm dead. Do you know why?" She shoved her hands in her pockets and gestured to the statue with her head, "Because I'll be fucking dead. There's nobody to 'guide my soul', nobody waiting to-" her head snapped to the side and her right cheek stung, the sound of the slap resounded in the closed space. In the tiny dim lit room with candles flickering serving as their only light, Lavellan saw the razor sharp slits that reflected brightly and watered, "What was that for?"

"Felt like it," Sera seethed quietly and her fists clenched, her gaze averted to the ground, "That simple." _You aren't fooling anybody._

"Uh huh. Feel better or would you rather I piss you off until you get it off your chest?" _She's going to sell me out to Cassandra again.  
_

"Nah, I feel better," the archer sucked in a breath and exhaled quietly, "But I'm tired. Gonna go hit the sack, cya later," Sera turned and left without another word, _well now I know she's pissed off the rocker if she didn't shout._ Sylvira sighed and raked her hand through her hair as she glanced at the statue, _I don't get it, perhaps she's mad there's no god to punish me and therefore she took it upon herself? Merely proves my point,_ she turned for the door, _well if everyone is at that bonfire crap then looks like I won't be getting any reports. Got to be something else I can do until tomorrow,_ she opened the door and her eyes scanned the darkness that blanketed the garden, when she saw the chess table she grinned when she'd been reminded of her conversation with Dorian, _now I know._ She walked to the center of the garden and looked up at the moon, _I have at least five hours,_ she spun theatrically and head towards to the main hall, _might as well visit Harritt and Dagna then take a nap._

* * *

 _ **Survivor's Edition Journal**_

 _ **9:41 Dragon**_ _ **Matrinalis**_ _ **Sexday 1**_ _ **st**_

 _ **Today I**_ _ **will**_ _ **run an experiment based on Dorian's suggestion**_ _ **to woo Sera and make her swoon**_ _ **. He explained that every woman's dream is to have someone throw rocks at their window to wake them up at 3 A.M.**_

"Sera! Sera wake up!" Sylvira tossed a pebble at the window but there was no response, no effect, nothing. She murmured under her breath, "Why can't I just go through the door and drag her ass out of bed?"

 _ **And recite a sweet poem of some sort. I'll do even better, I've written one specifically for Sera. Short and sweet. Or sour.**_

Sighing, she decided to keep up her effort, her disheveled hair and wrinkled clothes evidence of her just having rolled out of bed for this. _Fuck this better be worth more than a nap._

 _ **However, my hypothesis is that Sera isn't the type of woman who shares this dream and there will be no swooning.**_

"Sera!" Another pebble, "I'm running out of pebbles!" _And why do I have to throw pebbles?_

"Shut up ye daft tit," came the muffled and angry shout, "I'm tryin' to fucking sleep!" _Dorian said it's not as romantic if I use magic, I beg to differ._ _I can be quite creative especially with magic._

"Open the window!" Another pebble, another whisper, "At least I have her attention." She shouted again, uncaring of the amused patrols that passed by, "Sera! Quit ignoring me and open the fucking window! I wanna go back to sleep too!"

"Then go back to sleep dumbass! I'll stuff my whole quiver in your arse if you don't stop!"

 _ **I was correct.**_

"Fuck, this is annoying," about to give up, Lavellan turned her head and grinned, "That'll be better than a stupid pebble, this will teach her not to ignore me." She rotated her wrist with her palm to the sky and levitated a rock that rested comfortably in her hand, she reeled her arm back and twisted her torso then threw the rock. Her eyes widened, "Oh I'm so fucking dead." _This is why I should use magic._

 _ **An amateur mistake on my part, I should have hypothesized her course of action for different scenarios.**_

"The fuck d'ya want anyways?!" At the same moment the rock was thrown, Sera stood up to steal a peek as to what was going on, her curiosity getting the better of her. Fortunately, she too saw the doom that was coming and immediately ducked while cradling her head, the rock crashed right through the glass. "Syl what the fuck?!" As soon as the archer darted back up, Sylvira witnessed hell itself, _now it's just a matter of surviving that hell._ Sera, in all her blind fury,  kicked open the window beside the broken one and started crawling down on the roof, and the mage set off sprinting for her life. "GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!"

 _ **Instead of melting in a gooey puddle of whatever it was Dorian said...**_

"C'mon I only wanna hug and kiss, Syl!" _She so stole that from me when I chased her!_

 _ **Sera would rather melt me into a gooey puddle of red wine. I'd make sweet wine.**_

"Yeah I'm not buying it, you'll hug my neck and choke me!" Scrambling up the main hall stairs with the rogue hot on her heels, Lavellan did the only thing she could think of that would slow the archer down without further infuriating her.

Strip.

Yanking off her shirt, she blindly tossed it over her shoulder and rounded the corner to head straight to the garden, yet her plan to cheer Sera up and hopefully transform her anger into pure lust failed when she heard muffled cursing. _Seriously? The shirt hit her face?_ "YER BEGGING FOR AN ARSE WHOOPING!"

"No, no I'm not!" Opening the doors with a flick of her wrist, she braced her palm on the ledge and jumped over, cursing when she accidentally stepped and squished the elfroot in the pot, _ugh Solas will bitch_ _for hours_ _about that._ "I'm begging for my life!" Her hands worked on her new belt next which took considerable time with all of it hopping up and down, _I'm going to accidentally kill myself if I'm not cautious,_ careful not to trigger any of the traps in the belt, she slid her finger under and behind the buckle, _Harritt and Dagna better have followed the schematics_. She yelped when she felt a rather large pebble hit her head, "Ow!"

 _ **At least I found out something just as interesting.**_

"QUIT STRIPPING! ANDRASTE'S HERE!"

"Seriously?! Sera **religious**?!" _I thought that was a fucking joke!_ She burst out laughing at the mental images of Sera kneeling and praying in a Sister's outfit, "This makes for some interesting foreplay!"

 _ **I tried everything I could think of to salvage the failed experiment.**_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Came the embarrassed shout, Lavellan glanced over her shoulder, _bad idea!_ She started sweating buckets at the sight of the elvenized rage demon, she almost tripped over the ledge when she looked forward again, _I've created a monster!_ Reacting just in time, she braced her palm and hopped over, continuing to the left of the miniature Chantry, _or whatever they call it,_ and running up the stairs to the battlements. _Fuck,_ her thighs were burning and screaming at her, but in the name of her life she  will keep running away from the demon tailing her.

 _ **That way in the future should I pursue an alternate approach, it wouldn't fail this fucking hard.**_

"Isn't this romantic?!" She figured she'd utilize anything and everything she had at the moment, as she huffed and puffed she pointed to the night sky and the sea of stars above. _Fuck maybe I really should've taken Josephine's advice and quit smoking,_ her lungs stung from the chill in the air, a slight wheeze in her breath, _I sound like a dying duck._

"Piss off!"

"That's what I'm trying to do!" She had hoped that by running through the newly renovated tower dedicated for mages -primarily herself- that they would not disturb any delicate experiments or ruin any books. All was well when she opened the door with magic and she cut through without any qualms nor additional life-threatening problems.

"No I mean, UGH JUST STOP RUNNING!" Somehow, it was an entirely different story with Sera.

 _ **Every experiment I run always wants to kill me. I hypothesized early on this one would be harmless.**_

"Stop running is right up there with 'you'll die if you do'!" Sylvira cringed when she heard an explosion of some sort when the archer burst through the second door and continued chasing her on the battlements, completely undaunted. _We took the same route, just what the hell did she do to cause that?!_

"I ain't saying that I'm gonna," a sharp inhale in between, the two were slowed down to a jog with their individual motives the only thing that kept them going. "Violently choke yer stupid arse to death," _that's exactly what you're saying!_ "I'm saying that if ya don't stop running," more ragged breaths, _at least she's just as tired as I am,_ "My hands are gonna..." More wheezing as they tumbled through another one of the towers, but at least there weren't any explosions. "Hug your throat passionately!"

 _ **I was incorrect.**_

"That's the same as choking, and you say that all the time!"

"But with passion luv, don'tcha like that that stuff?"

 _ **Perhaps Sera's groundless beliefs have merit after all. I somehow still got lucky…**_

"Not when it means I die in the process," she thought on that for a moment then grinned as she glanced over her shoulder, her grin growing when she saw the rogue roll her eyes. "Unless it's in bed it's okay," they slowed down to a walk with Sera lingering behind her, their aching muscles too exhausted to do anything anymore. "The lack of oxygen will make it all feel more intense."

"Let's test that right now then."

"Yeah right, not when you still want to kill me. You should be happy, this is all for your own good!"

"Uh huh. In what way?"

"A romantic midnight stroll, a nice jog to stay in shape." Sylvira abruptly turned around and used the momentum to her advantage, she side stepped past the archer and grabbed both her wrists then pulled them behind to grasp in one hand. She grinned confidently as her free hand slid under Sera's shirt and teased under the swell of breasts, peppering her neck with light kisses as she ignored the turmoil within her. She craned her neck lower then gently blew in the rogue's ear and reveled in the shudder, she whispered in a sultry tone, "And a kinky make out session." Kissing the tip of the ear, her hand fell from the shirt and gently wrapped around Sera's neck, she released her grip on the wrists when she felt the archer tense, "Relax I'm not doing **that**. Wanted you to look up at the sky."

 _ **And found an even better hobby.**_

"Syl," the archer murmured huskily as her head tilted up and Lavellan straightened out, using her tall height to her advantage as she looked down to see the ocean of stars reflected in Sera's eyes, _captivating, mesmerizing, I like this kind of star-gazing far more._ "We can't."

"Huh? Why not, you're not in the mood?"

"No I'm definitely in the fuckin' mood now," Sera spat irritatedly then pointed in front of her, "But we gotta charge 'em for the show if we're gonna do it here." Lavellan glanced up to where she was pointing, there were a couple of patrols hiding behind the low wall around the corner, occasionally peeking out with flushed faces. "Or you charge 'em, since yer wearin' nothing but a damn bra when it's fuckin' cold out here." She muttered bitterly under her breath, "Nice and toasty for them I bet." _Ooh~ is that jealousy I hear? For once I'm not getting smacked over it. Yet._

"Good thinking, you've been learning how I do business I see," Sylvira tried to keep her tone genuinely serious as she wrapped her arms around Sera's waist, "How much do you think we should charge for admission and hourly rate?"

"Shut up," the rogue chuckled hoarsely, "I know you ain't serious."

"Bullshit?"

"Smell it all over. C'mon," Sera turned in the mage's embrace and patted the cheek she'd smacked earlier, _wholly different demeanor now, she either forgot or she's forgiven me it seems. I_ _'ll push my luck and ask why another time._ "We're going back to sleep loser," she pushed away and Lavellan nodded, the two women walked side by side and occasionally bumped shoulders. "Why'd you wake me up anyways?"

 _ **And so, on to the experiment's conclusion and my findings. The main objective was to wake up and swoon Sera.**_

"To woo you and recite a poem I wrote for you," Sylvira answered honestly and comfortably, a confident grin gracing her lips when the archer burst out laughing and bumped into her again. "Care to hear it?"

" **I** have a choice? I figured you'd just-"

 _ **The results supported my hypothesis and prove that Sera does not seem to appreciate being woken up in the ungodly hours of the morning.**_

"Roses are red."

"Yep. Here we go."

 _ **Neither did I. It fucking sucked. But it was worth losing an extra nap.**_

"Lemons are sour."

"Wot? Lemons in poetry, y'just know this is gonna be bad."

 _ **Pebbles and broken windows typically result in a fight for my life, startling revelations-or rather confirmations, a romantic outing...**_

"Open your legs and give me an hour." Lavellan glanced down when she felt something slip into her palm, her eyebrow rose in confusion, _I don't understand, why do I feel this way?_ She'd felt uncomfortable and her heart beat a little faster at the sight and feel of calloused fingers intertwined with her own as Sera descended in another bout of laughter, bumping into the woman from their even-closer proximity. _It's just her holding my hand._

 _ **And a discovery about myself. Or re-discovery.**_

"You," the archer flicked Sylvira's nose with her free hand and the mage's head jerked up from the sudden surprise, her eyes snapped up and she gazed at how the stars still reflected in Sera's eyes, "Are my loser." _She always has to look up at me because of my height,_ Lavellan noted as she glanced up at the night sky, _the stars always shine in her eyes._ She looked back down and gaped slack jawed at the soft and affectionate smile, _I don't get any of this._ Her eyes widened with realization as they continued walking hand-in-hand, _wait a sec…_ Sera silently lead the two towards the mage's chambers after they retrieved the abandoned shirt in the garden, _does this mean_ _…?_

 _ **It occurred to me that perhaps the experiment wasn't a total failure after all. For once I don't mind that the outcome didn't coincide with my hypothesis.**_

"Hey, Sera."

"Hey, Syl."

 _ **Perhaps I have woo'd her after all, or she's that territorial. Either way, she's dropped a couple hints whether she's realized it or not.**_

"Is this code for 'we're going to have sex'?"

"Nope. It's code for 'we're going to go sleep' loser, already said I'm tired. Wipe that look off yer face, and can you friggin' walk normally? It's hard to do this when yer fuckin' dancing or whatever the hell you're doing."

"This? You mean holding my hand? Come on say it, admit it out loud I know you-"

"I'll shit down your throat if you don't shut up right now."

 _I've already learned that lesson before, I don't dare call that bluff.  
_

 _ **'My' and 'We'.**_


	14. Merde, Je Suis Baisé

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Things get a little wacky in this chapter and it's longer than usual (I wanted to give a bit extra before I leave Syl alone for the week or two to work on Ena and Terra). Sera snickers, Syl waggles her eyebrows suggestively, "Enjoy the extra length!" :P I also want to say I'm **not** an expert on French nor French culture, and the opinions/reactions Sylvira and Sera are not ones I necessarily share. Just don't want to offend anybody in regards to language or certain 'cuisine' introduced in this chapter. And Nyx, I couldn't help but laugh like a maniac when I read your review just before I posted this chapter. Syl and Sera are... Well they've certainly strayed from the path of 'starting to get cute' and instead descend down the 'starting to get vulgar' in this chapter lol. To be perfectly honest I'm already shifting my eyes at the prospect of having these two... Well. The most 'creative' and 'playful' of all Lavellans, to put it nicely. Things are going to get real awkward with me and my girlfriend when she sees the shit I write with a technical and professional face, lol.

 **As-usual-long-explanation:** This is for Derp's question- "Syl now has to learn to feel again? Or is it really more like flipping a switch for her?" I was torn in between letting the discovery be with Syl or just answering this, but I figured I would answer so we kinda know what the struggle is with Syl. It's not that she has to learn how to feel because she _is_ feeling, but she's not 'processing' it (me and my crap explanations, bear with me). Before it has the chance to flourish her 'self-defense mechanism' may end up shutting it off to protect her, so she was feeling guilty when she'd almost gotten steamy with Sera, but it was only that back of the mind nagging feeling that something was wrong. It wasn't 'shit this is wrong because she'll hate me in the near-future' it was 'what the hell is this sick twisting feeling in my gut?' Almost like anxiety. If you've had an anxiety attack then you probably know where I'm coming from, where you want to puke out your guts, you're sweating bullets, and there's intense fear gripping you but most times people don't even know  what has triggered the anxiety attack to make them feel that way. The emotional 'tourniquet' is very similar to this, and she is left in the dark if she does not think it through.

And as she said, if she does not know what was turned off, how can she turn it back on? It would be like having multiple light switches and buttons in front of you, and only one is the correct switch. In this case, she figured it out when she came across two clues, the fact that the 'wrong' feeling grew stronger as the prospect of touching Sera, and when she had thought to herself her 'problem' would be fixed if Sera knew about her past. 'Past' was the second clue, that was when the epiphany/realization struck her when her mind immediately went to the kids and thus the guilt welled up. I'm no expert psychologist but this is what little I know on how these things can work with some people (not all, since everybody is different).

When it comes to feelings, Sylvira -for most of her life- has been degraded and denied (it will unfortunately be revealed eventually) with most of it being the three years she spent as a slave. So she feels, but she doesn't know how to work through it all since much of her adolescence was focused on survival, she was forced to mature without having that time to naturally develop and go through the motions. Thus, it's not as though she's 'developing' now since she's presumably been this way for 9-10 years (think Uvun is now 9 and Syl was roughly 13 when she 'escaped' slavery, because she doesn't remember exact dates it's assumed she's currently in between 22-24). Sera is bringing light to the issues -she's always had- to the surface and is the person helping Syl to 'naturally' work through it, since nobody else did. Just as Sera said during the meeting when Syl had temporarily 'lost' her grasp on reality (when she thought Sera was part of a demon's ruse to possess her), "What 'bout her feelings huh? Oh don't worry nobody else cares about those, right? Just coz she hides them and pretends she doesn't have them..."

For those 9-10 years after Syl had stumbled and been rescued by the mages' collective, it was all about jobs, business and coin, not feelings. In this case we are slowly learning that Syl isn't hiding her feelings 100% voluntarily, it is her natural self-defense mechanism in which she doesn't have 100% control over (e.g. in ch.12 when she asked Sera to stay the night and thought " _Child…_ " she switched off automatically "without meaning to"). There are things you think 'should' bug her but don't because of this, and there are triggers that make her completely snap and fly off the handle. Sometimes it can be for no reason at all, though I typically try to avoid this so you as the reader and me as a writer don't feel as though I've decided to pull something out of my ass and chuck it in there for the sake of Sylvira being pissed off. I also don't want to give off the impression that she's essentially an out-of-control lunatic. She's not, she's just damaged/traumatized and she's slowly working through it now that circumstances have changed and she has people who she is getting to know as more than just business partners. As Sera is trying to explain, there isn't a reason with feelings, you just feel. Before I add another rambling long paragraph (I think I've answered your question, I hope, if not ask another one lol) let's get on with the story. I've thus far deleted three paragraphs that -despite my trying not to spoil- end up giving blatant hints that spoil anyways lol. I need to shut up, **on to the story!**

 **V** **ocabulary**

 _[French] Merde:_ Shit

 _[French] Je suis baisé:_ I'm so fucked

 _[French] Bonne Nuit:_ Good night

 _[French] Bonsoir mesdemoiselles:_ Good evening young ladies

 _[French] Comment allez-vous:_ How are you (formal)

 _[French] Madame/Monsieur:_ Mrs./Mr. or Sir/Ma'am

 _[Name meaning] Ophelia:_ Helpful [woman]

 _[Name meaning] Alfred:_ Wise; elf counsel/advice from elves (I can't resist when it comes to naming minor characters)

 _[French] Je suis désolée:_ I'm sorry

 _[French] Oursins:_ "Sea urchin" another French delicacy that need to be handled carefully (originally known as sea hedgehogs) because their spikes can tear your hands apart

 _[French] À demain:_ See you tomorrow

 _[Elvhen] Nuvenan rosas'da'din in'emma'av'in:_ I want you to cum in my mouth

 _[French] La Chatte Humide:_ Use google translator for this, for once it's surprisingly accurate. Shame on Syl lol :P

* * *

 **Merde, Je Suis Baisé**

* * *

Seconds before they hit the bed Sylvira had suddenly gotten hyper and framed the archer's face, the bandaged hand scratched her cheek, the cracked lips abused by the chill in the air and earlier whistling currently waged war with the plump lips for dominance. "The fuck-" Sera whispered before the hungry mouth silenced her, _has gotten into you?_ She was all too aware of the not-so-subtle pang that kindly informed her that if this heavy _and fucking hot_ session continues any longer then in the next few minutes she was going to have a painful ache between her thighs. If the infuriating woman was going to backtrack because of anxiety or more 'what the hell is this feeling' then Sera may very well go insane from all this sexual frustration built up in her system, as much as she hated it she couldn't deny that very slowly she was saying fuck it to everything that's been happening lately just so she'd be taken by the mage already. Okay well it's not very slowly, considering the list has been growing longer and longer in just a couple of days, _still mad 'bout lots of things, ought to smack her for getting rid of the kids too. Honey-tongue didn't talk her way outta that one yet,_ just the very reminder set her blood boiling, but the oh-so-persuasive silver tongue made it difficult to think past the haze of desire rapidly clouding her mind, _rubbish she said in the_ _C_ _hantry too_.

"Syl," she started before her head lulled back and granted full access to her neck, the mouth that usually drove her crazy was… Well. Still driving her crazy. _At least -_ _I bet she's thinkin' this too-_ _it's_ _finally_ _for the right reason,_ she smirked at that, her eyes fluttered shut as sparks tingled along her skin when Lavellan latched on to her throat and sucked greedily. "What happened," she rasped, "To not being ready?" No answer save for the mage parting and flashing a charming grin that made her stomach flutter and twist with frustration at the same time, Sylvira merely tossed the shirt she held over her shoulder then hooked her hands under both of the ones the rogue wore and swiftly pulled them off. The moment Sera felt a hand slid inside her leggings she braced her palms on the woman's shoulders and pushed away, "Syl?" _This ain't right, nothing in her eyes that says she switched off,_ the heat pooled between her thighs at the glazed look in the half-lidded eyes, Lavellan growled and smothered the archer's lips with her own, _fuck!_ She gasped inside the mage's mouth when she felt two fingers force their way inside despite still being dry, _she changes all the fucking time but not like this, what the fuck-_ she gritted her teeth as she tried to repress the moan bubbling in the back of her throat, letting loose when the protruding digits slid out only to be thrust back in.

"I need to fuck you raw," the rough husk in the mage's voice had been downright erotic and the bandaged hand slid to the small of Sera's back as she parted her legs slightly wider, grateful for the support. "I'm going in hard. Ready?" _Little too fucking late for that Syl,_ she couldn't force out her retort as another moan escaped her lips, "I don't want to punish you," _what the fuck, what for?!_ "I want to reward you," the archer whined softly when the pressure she'd quickly grown accustomed to suddenly disappeared, her leggings yanked down as she was shoved back to fall on the bed, _make up your fuckin' mind ye daft tit_. Her eyes widened when Sylvira grabbed her ankles and dragged her closer to the edge of the bed, kneeling down as she positioned her face right at her core, "I want to spend hours making you scream and come for me," _then shut up and do it!_ Sera hissed and her head fell back when _soon-to-be-_ _literally-honey-tongue_ moved closer, hot breaths puffing and teasing her center, _fuck quit talking!_ "Again," frustration easily escalated into anger when she felt a faint lick flick against the swollen nub, she refused to give the smug mage any satisfaction and clutched the sheets as she restrained herself in defiance. "And again," another flick and her blood boiled, her skin itched and crawled as her body demanded _something_ be done, anything. "And again," a fingertip lightly traced the letter S, _she's begging for me to kick her arse,_ "Until you beg me to stop."

 _In her fucking dreams,_ Sera bit down on her lip and her back arched, her hips pressed down when the infuriating woman finally shut up and got to work instead. _'Bout time she does this type of talking,_ the muscles of her neck rippled as her jaw clenched tighter in defiance, stubborn not to make any sounds that would encourage the arrogant grin on Lavellan's face. _I'm so on to you,_ when the tongue flicked lightly and the fingertips probed around the entrance, she huffed warningly, "I'll shove an arrow up yer arse if you don't fuck me." Irritation crawled along her nerves and the feeling to snap resided in her chest at the mage's hoarse chuckles, "This ain't funny, fuck me already for fuck's sake!" The teasing continued but when she'd reach to forcefully push Sylvira's hand or head, her wrists felt like they'd been pinned by invisible pressure and she snapped, " **Syl**!"

"What?" Lavellan tried to feign innocence as she rose her head, the citron eyes danced with mischief and amusement as she continued her torture. It'd been then that Sera's stomach twisted with nervousness when she noticed the bright blue pulse inside the eyes, the odd scent was laced with the faint smell of mango, _oh for the love of- now of all fucking times?_

"Get off, that weird shite's happening to you again," the archer's eyebrows furrowed when Sylvira shrugged then rose, straddling her and bringing her arms above her head, "The fuck are you doing?" _She's gonna get worse if she don't do nothing 'bout it._ Suddenly her vision went pitch black as she felt something slip over her eyes and tied to her head, the same happened to her ankles and wrists as they'd been stretched apart to be tied to the bed posts. _What the fuck?_ "Syl what's going on?" Said woman merely chuckled darkly, and even though the archer opened her eyes all she could see was black, "The fuck did you tie me up for, dumbass? Take off the stupid blindfold before I kick your stupid arse."

"You want this, admit it. Always playing hard to get, you're lucky I know that this is what you truly want," _fuck no I don't and I know what I want!_ Somehow the cheeky mage was able to hum at the same time as she spoke, _okay this is startin' to freak me the fuck out._ Sylvira laughed when the rogue gritted her teeth, not knowing what to say, "You call me a dumbass, but you're just as stupid. If not more," _what the hell!_ Another haughty laugh, Sera's heart constricted, "I just love how you think you're on my level, and it's just oh so much fun to inflate your ego to make you think that." Before the archer could retort something was stuffed inside her mouth preventing her from talking, _what the fuck is this bitch doing?!_ Caught off guard she'd been mortified when Lavellan roughly knead her breast, and despite wanting to fight against the sensations her body replied for her instead. "Just a pawn, Sera. That's all you are," another squeeze, the archer bit down on whatever the gag was and held in the sounds, though she didn't have as much control as much as she would like.

More mocking laughter, Sera's fire to beat the crap out of the woman was rapidly whittling down, "Helpless," somehow the rogue knew it was a knee nestled against her core, like something was feeding her answers despite being blind. "Powerless under my spell, my control," _don't they say blood mages do this kinda shite?_ She shuddered when she felt the rush of air as Sylvira murmured in her ear, "You  willingly allowed this, and yet you call me stupid?" _I didn't allow nothin', I don't want this!_ Sparks shot up her spine when the knee grind against her core, she couldn't talk back yet the moans that bubbled at the back of her throat spilled out freely with every grind, muffled by the gag in her mouth. _What the fuck is wrong with me?!_ She tried to tug at the binds that tied her wrists above her, but her body failed to listen. It writhed greedily under the woman's ministrations, the pleasurable assault draping her mind in an even thicker fog.

Something struck her as off and her stomach churned uncomfortably, _oh fuck no, don't even think about it,_ the coil wound tighter and the mocking mage continued to chant how stupid she was, demeaning her, and teasing her for loving every bit of what was happening. _I don't love this for frig's sake!_ The humming in the background grew louder and she recognized it belonged to Lavellan, _how the fuck is she singing and talking at the same time?_ Another grind of the knee, and suddenly the hand that was on her breast was gone, she felt hot breath puff against her and shivered. _Just like at the desk,_ she clenched her teeth and desperately tried to defy whatever hold and spell had her, but she truly had been helpless. Belittled and hopeless, she slackened against the bed and allowed the woman to do what she want. She shut her eyes as tightly as possible and tears squeezed out from the corners despite wanting to be strong, the mocking laughter stopped and the pressure above her abruptly disappeared. "Sera? Why are you crying?" The mage sounded slightly concerned, _fuck you, I fucking hate you so much you heartless bitch. This is what it takes for you to finally get I don't want this shite?_

Hands slid over her face, calloused palms that felt too familiar yet she'd been consumed by the fear and despair, she descended in choked sobs. "Sera!" _Shut up, I **hate** you!_ Soft pressure wrapped around her wrists and her hands were pulled away from her face, her eyes snapped open in anger until she stared blankly at the worried woman hovering above her, _I can… See?_ The rogue looked down at herself, she'd been lying on Lavellan's bed, there were no ties, no blindfolds, nothing. _It was…_ Relief filled her, "Sera please talk to me, what's wrong? I don't understand any of this," _that was fuckin' messed up, what the hell was that for?_ "Sera," Sylvira gave a slight shake of her shoulders and the archer looked at her, her eyes darting left and right as she took in the disheveled appearance before her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?! Say something!"

"You're," she croaked out hoarsely, "Real?"

"What? Of course I am now explain to me what possessed you to start crying, is it because of the magic? Are you feeling unwell?" Sera lifted her head and glanced in between the space of the mage's arm and hip, there were glowing lines on the carpet once more and Lavellan shook her head, "It's not safe to climb off the bed. I'll dispel those in a moment," _o_ _h yeah exactly what I wanted to fucking hear, loser._ "Now tell me what's wrong," the rogue looked back at her and her eyebrows knitted together, she didn't have it in her to take her frustration out and beat Sylvira into a bloody pulp for the dream, instead she tugged on the shirt and their mouths crashed against each other ungracefully. _It's her,_ Sera reassured herself, _she sounds scared too,_ the scent of mango had been fresh and strong, the rotten eggs completely gone, _did she take a bath?_ Her eyes peered open when the lopsided ponytail brushed along the side of her face, _soft and bouncy..._ _But when did she find time?_

Soon after Lavellan pulled away abruptly, a guilty look in her eyes and her features shone brighter from the sweat that clung to her skin, _what the fuck?_ "S-sorry," she smiled meekly, "I need to dispel the rune, it's taking a toll on me." Sera nodded slowly and her eyebrows furrowed with confusion as she rose to sit on the bed to watch the woman move in a series of taps and sliding with her feet, she glanced at the journal abandoned on the bed open to a page that seemed to be the intricate pattern on the floor. Her head snapped back to Sylvira when the mage suddenly spun on her one leg then slid across, "So what happened?" Slowly the dream faded away and Sera found her voice again, _I liked the normal sex dream before Syl woke me up chuckin' those stupid rocks. Remember that next time, stupid head._

"Bad dream. Anyways," she deflected and winced at how obvious it was, though -thankfully- the mage simply cast a worried look then shrugged as she continued to move. "Why are you doing all of this Syl?" _Second time I've seen it. How long did I sleep now?_ The archer glanced beyond the balcony arch at the sun in the sky, _lunch again?_

"We're moving out to Val Royeaux soon," Lavellan replied hoarsely as she moved with unexpected grace, her feet drawing half circles as she moved along the length of the carpet, "I need to memorize this perfectly to the point I'd be able to draw it in my sleep. If it was just my hands I could but..." Foot crossed over the front of her ankle, she swept her heel across the front of her and switched to her toes as her leg swung to cross behind the ankle, "This one requires more, has more, but it's also more powerful."

"That don't answer **why** though." _And you look like a fuckin' dumbass dancing around, you'd be dead before you had time to do… Whatever yer doing._

"It's just in case we run into trouble but we should be fine. I still need to memorize and practice this so that I'll be precise and quick," Sylvira traced the last line and clicked her heel on the floor, the rune dissipated and she gave a tired smile, "It's also a way to slowly push my body past the limits without my nose bleeding and decorating the carpet if I'm careful, that's the main reason I've been doing these magic exercises anyways."

"What the fuck?" _Okay more work I can get with all this rubbish that's been happening, but training?_ "The hell are you doing that for?" _Fuck mages have 'exercises' too? Why's magic gotta be so weird and creepy?_

"For this," the mage rose her bandaged hand and clenched it into a fist with an expression mixed in between frustration and shame, _the mark that bitch left on her. Everybody learned real fast not to mention anything 'bout it, last time she blew up when Ruffles suggested wearing a glove instead o' bandages._ "There's nothing in my journal and nothing in every single tome I've scoured in this forsaken fortress to help get rid of this thing," _starting to feel sick,_ "I have to release-" her eyebrows furrowed in thought as she averted her gaze to the ground and mumbled, "I have to do stuff that will increase my magical power, and dismantle the energy. Are you feeling unwell now?" _Not helping her,_ Sera swallowed the lump in her throat and shook her head, _she already feels like shite over this_. "Nice try," Lavellan's eyes danced with amusement, "But even without the blatant lie it's easy to see that you're ready to shit your leggings right off."

"Can't help it," the rogue murmured guiltily, "This-"

"I know, no hard feelings." Sylvira strode towards her and braced her palm on the bed as she leaned down, capturing Sera's lips in a brief kiss, "Come on. You've been sleeping forever, missed a meeting too. Let's grab some lunch and I'll fill you in."

"Why didn't you wake me up?" The archer stretched her arms above her head as she rose, smirking when Lavellan's eyes immediately snapped to her stomach when the shirts rode up, _wonder what look she'd have if I didn't wear nothing but just her shirt?_

"So I'd have an excuse not to work and have lunch with you instead," the dalish woman smirked coyly, "We're leaving soon after we're done eating." _Somethin' smelled a little off,_ Sera shrugged and nodded, _oh well._ She followed Sylvira towards the tavern as she casually clasped her hands behind her head, _wonder what we're going to Val Royeaux for? Better not be for shopping for fucking carpets again or I'm gonna turn this idiot into a carpet, too bad she'd like that if I was stepping on her the friggin' perv._ "When you pack what you need, bring all the matches you've got," the mage searched her pockets and rotated her torso to reveal the container of crushed elfroot, "Solas -after bitching forever first- salvaged the elfroot I flattened yesterday. I'm going to smoke my lungs out the entire trip, miss this way too much," Sera chuckled and nodded as she mirrored the woman's excited grin, _I miss it too. Just like the good days._

* * *

"I may not be a warrior but I can mighty blow you," Sylvira desperately tried to lighten the mood with the worst pick up lines ever to be invented, Sera sighed now that she'd grown bored of only them snickering over it. _She just don't give up,_ she cast a worried look over at Dorian and Bull as the dalish woman continued, she snapped both her fingers then pointed over at Dorian, "I don't need to cast Horror to make you scream baby." _Ugh, leave it to her to rope magic into it._ Lavellan grinned proudly when the tevinter man's lips  finally curled into a small smirk, "Only took one hour and twenty seven minutes." _She was counting? Does she have a fuckin' clock inside her head?_

"You were counting?" _Oh he thought the same thing._ Dorian's eyebrow rose, and exchanged impressed looks with the archer, "How-"

"I started once I was that fucking bored, it's been way longer than that," Lavellan sighed as she moved the pipe to the other corner of her mouth and tensed on the reins to direct the horse over to Bull, "Your fucking turn." She shot a glare to both of them, "I need you both at the top of your game, when I asked if you could set your personal feelings aside for the sake of teamwork and come with me to help me oh you know… Make me feel like I'm not going to die either from an ambush or boredom, I did not imply you two ram sticks so far up your asses it's choked you at your throats." The qunari chuckled gruffly and shrugged, Sylvira smirked coyly, "You know Bull, the qunari aren't the only ones with long spears but ours-" that's all it took for Bull to descend into laughter.

"I've heard of that one before, and it doesn't work for you Boss. You're lacking the uh-" he looked over with an amused expression as he shamelessly stared at Lavellan's groin, _oi, eyes off my goods!_ "Proper tool." _Hey not bad,_ Dorian groaned and muttered something about tools as Sera chuckled, "Sorry Boss," the qunari glanced over at the tevinter man and both nodded as they relaxed a little more on their horses, "We're good. Thanks." _Leave it to Syl to either piss people off just by being her or piss them off with crap lines 'til they give up._

"Need five or ten minutes?" _She's got her moments for being a friggin' jerk but it's nice when she has these moments too, must be in a good mood, finally._ Sylvira thumbed at the trees, "Sera and I can stand guard while you work out the rest of your tension."

"Fuck no we ain't," the archer protested, "Why the fuck do we gotta guard while they get to have all the fun?!" Sera rolled her eyes when the dalish woman suddenly had a lecherous grin as the pipe in the corner of her mouth bounced up and down, "Piss off, not in a fuckin' forest in the middle of nowhere."

"I didn't say anything!"

"Uh huh. Didn't have to."

"Anyways," _way to make it so~ obvious loser,_ Lavellan waggled her eyebrows playfully, "Your turn."

" **This** again?" _Didn't take her long did it?_

"You can blow up my Chantry any day," Sera's eyes widened and her head snapped to the smug mage, _oh this fuckin' tit, she better keep her mouth shut if she knows what's good for her._ The two men descended in a bout of chuckles as the archer glared warningly, "Are you sure you don't belong in the Chantry?" _This fucker's got guts makin' fun of me!_ Dorian nearly fell off his mount and Bull roared with glee, his deep voice shook the trees as everybody shared the mental image of Sera in a cleric's outfit.

"That's it!" Sera jerked on the reins then squeezed her heels in when the dalish woman reacted quickly and signaled her horse to canter, "Get the fuck back here Syl!"

"You'll be praising your Maker all night long with me!"

" **Shut the fuck up**!" Ears burning hot and cheeks flushed, the archer was grateful the others couldn't see her face, "Loser!" _Least she ain't makin' fun of me for believing._

* * *

"Alright here you go," Sylvira fished in her satchel and handed all three fat coin purses, "Save your own coin and use this to rent rooms at the Bonne Nuit inn, this should be more than enough to get you the best room and service."

"Uh, what?" Sera tilted her head in confusion, "Didn't you say we were gonna raid some slaver's house or whatever here?" _Well yeah but I'm not going with fucking Dorian and Bull,_ the mage sighed and raked her hand through her hair, _especially not those two, they'll figure it out._

"Got some business to take care of first," _it's true too, and I'm definitely not going with Sera. She'll kill me once she figures out what happened with the kids._ She grinned charmingly as she swiftly captured the rogue's plump lips in a chaste kiss then whispered, "Buy us the XXX special." In the bustling action of the late evening life in the city as the stable boy -who had a rather large grin thanks to the mage- took their horses one by one, something caught Sylvira's attention in her peripheral vision and she looked over. _Bad. Fucking. Idea._

"Syl?" Sera noticed the pale look and the way the nervous mage suddenly sweat profusely, "Uh...? You alright or did ya eat somethin' spicy that's messing with yer arse?" _That just gave me an idea._

"One moment," the woman fished in her satchel for her trusted guide to all things Orlesian and searched for the 'popular' phrases, _I'm glad I took this with me, but this is not how I imagined to use it._ She flipped through the pages until she found what she was looking for, _shit,_ "Perfect. **Merde**."

"Inquisitor!" Lavellan sighed and rubbed her temples as she turned to the Inquisition scout she'd assigned as the carriage rider for Uvun and Grâce as a test of loyalty, she continued quickly flipping pages as the soldier who was about to report her doom saluted proudly. "Mission success, your plan worked and-" _I'm so..._

"Je suis..." She'd ignored the confused looks of her companions as she kept thumbing through the pages. Sera tugged on her sleeve as she tried to alert the woman to the scout she desperately wished she could crush his bones to dust. _Fucked._

"Oi, Syl the fuck are you doing? The guy is-" Lavellan could feel the way the archer's fingers twitched and clutched the fabric of her shirt tighter as the tired man finished his report. _Well at least this proves he's not a Venatori spy, so that means Guy leaked the information about the false carriage heading to Jader then._

"Lured the Venatori away from us, the children have arrived safe and sound. The Orlesian girl's family has requested to meet with you and the young elven girl is with them, they can be found-" _does he take me for a fool?_

" **Baisé.** " Another heavy sigh, she looked up from the tome and glowered, "I already know about all of that and I know where they live, I am the one who found them after all. Return to Spymaster Nightingale. Inform her that if I am not back within half a week then she may search for my body in the Waking Sea." The Inquisition scout looked at her with a confused expression and she shook her head, "Take the carriage and return to Skyhold, I will bring back Uvun myself. Take a full week to rest and relax, do whatever you like as your reward for this job. I'll send word to Spymaster Nightingale giving you permission as such," the tired man's eyes widened and he bowed gratefully, "Dismissed Sergeant Vaughan." The soldier saluted and immediately scattered, it became blatantly obvious there'd be explosions soon if Sera's taut face was any indication. "Sera, you look lo-"

"What. The. Fuck." The rogue crossed her arms and stepped right in front of Sylvira, "I thought the kids were goin' to Jader," _above_ _Jader to be precise, the trap is_ _at_ _Jader,_ "Or whatever. What the fuck did you do this time Syl?" _Merde. It's so much more wonderful than shit, and it doesn't s_ _ound_ _as scary when I think I'm in deep merde._

"Look just," the mage glanced over at Bull and Dorian who'd already been debriefed on what was actually going on with the carriages during the meeting, though she'd left that detail out when she filled Sera in at the tavern. They had sympathetic looks mixed with 'you should've just told her', _that isn't helping me you assholes_. _I couldn't afford to die before coming here,_ _everybody knows Sera's like an antivan grenade_ _._ "I'll explain everything at the inn, okay? I need to go meet with Grâce's family and get Uvun, I'll see you-"

"Not by yourself yer not." Sera stated that completely casually as if she hadn't either noticed or cared what was wrong with her statement nor her implication.

 _Alright_ _._ Sylvira stared with a blank look. _Well then._ "Okay. I'm going to say this one more time, and very~ slowly. I'm going to go meet with a **family**. An **Orlesian** family. In a **fancy** city. Who's requested I come to meet them face-to-face, probably for details regarding their daughter. Parents scare the shit out of me, I feel fucked enough."

"So?" The archer shrugged, _she does know I'm going to be talking with parents who are well-off_ _nobles_ _right? She's going to load their asses with every arrow she can find if she comes._ "If yer meeting parents than you need someone who's gonna make sure you don't fuck shit to hell." Dorian and Bull snickered quietly, images of both women sitting on a couch behaving politely had to be forcefully constructed within their minds.

"That's coming from **you**? You're joking, right?"

"I can play nice."

"I can play nice too. Keyword **can**. Which we won't, especially if we're sitting beside each other. You'll assault me." _Especially if the kids blurt out what I did._

"You'll molest me."

"Exactly why we can't be fucking meeting this family together! They'll think I'm a pervert-"

"Which you are." _You are too._

"And that I taught the kids terrible things."

"Which you did." _I taught fun things too…!_ _I think._

"Just take the coin and go to the fucking inn already, I'll be extra screwed if you list all the things. Then there will be reports of how the mighty Inquisitor-"

"Uh huh. _Mighty._ " Sera's shit eating grin spread from ear to ear as the mage deflated and threw her hands up in surrender.

"I give up." Sylvira fished in her pocket as she spun on her heel and started walking away anyways, taking out the folded parchment with the address and directions of which alleyways to take, her temple twitched when she could hear the familiar sounds of boots and metal trudging on behind her. _They're_ _all_ _fucking following me. Are you serious right now?_ Hoping they'd get the hint and eventually piss off, she continued her ruse of pretending the three stalkers didn't even exist, _for shit's sake I'm nervous enough about meeting parents. What if Uvun and_ _Grâce_ _told them everything I've done?_ Her head hung low as memories of cursing at the top of her lungs with the children hot on her heels came to mind, and all the times she's kissed Sera in front of them. _They're going to chew me out for tainting the kids and being a bad influence, that's why they've requested to see me in person._ Nagging feelings of something worse swam in the back of her mind and she chewed on her lip, _how am I supposed to explain all this shit?_

"Inquisitor Lavellan: concocts traps for breakfast, devours nobles for lunch and eats demons as a snack. Casually discusses secrets during dinner that could make the world tremble, is arguably the most powerful woman in all of Thedas," the haughty sarcastic joke was not one she particularly enjoyed for once. Dorian came up beside her and squeezed her shoulder with an amused smirk on his face, "And is scared of parents. I'm sure you'll be just fine with everything else you handle on a daily basis. Surviving Sera every day is a miraculous feat itself."

"Oi, why am I considered the worst?! It's surviving Syl that's a miracle!"

"It's not the impression I'm worried about," Sylvira admitted honestly and looked at the archer with a concerned look then back at Dorian, "I couldn't give a fuck about what they think about me. It's explaining to them all the shit their daughter had to go through," _especially_ _how much more_ _because of my mistake._ She sighed, "Plus I'm a terrible role model, I'm sure the kiddos gushed about what a bad influence I was with all my swearing and making out with Icky-Kisses."

"Syl," the archer looked like she was about to retort but shook her head and sighed, "It wasn't your fault luv, I'm sure they'll get that. If yer that uncomfy then let's all go in there together, all four of us." _And_ _here_ _I thought her alone was the worst possible thing that could happen._ _She's a genius at thinking up different ideas to bring doom upon the world._

"What?" Bull started, "No way, not happening. I'm waiting at the inn or I'll break their furniture." _I love this qunari, life saver._

"Kaffas," Dorian glared at the qunari, "How can you think of **that** when-" he stopped when Bull thumbed to his head, "Oh. You weren't. The horns... Right."

"Look who's actually," the qunari crossed his arms and grinned smugly, "Thinking 'bout **that** huh?" _I wish I could, even fantasies don't do shit for me right now. Fuck feelings._

"Shut up ye daft tits this ain't the fuckin' time," Sera snapped then worriedly looked at the dejected woman, she strode over and rose on her toes as she gave Sylvira a chaste kiss to sullen lips, "Just us two then. If they try and blame you I got yer back luv."

"No threats," the mage warned, "No arrows either, give your weapons to Bull. **All** of them." _Even if I play it this safe,_ Lavellan pursed her lips, _this is a very bad idea, something's telling me this is the worst idea of my life._ The rogue was about to protest then nodded reluctantly, she unstrapped her quiver, bow and hip dagger then handed it over to Bull. Sylvira gave a pointed look then glanced down at her thighs, "I said **all** of them," Sera groaned and worked on the concealed dagger underneath her shirt then tossed that to the qunari. "We'll meet up at the Bonne Nuit inn later," the dalish woman raked her hand through her hair and gave a small smile as she teased playfully, "Have fun breaking the furniture over there instead." Plucking the pipe from her mouth and giving it a quick clean, she stashed it in her satchel then referenced the directions one last time. With the map burned in her mind, she shoved her hands in her pockets and nodded to Sera, the archer waved to the other two and off they went their separate ways. _We'll have to be careful once the sun completely sets, it'll be just me to fend off whoever is stupid enough to attack us._

"It's good," _huh?_ Sera murmured and brushed shoulders with the dalish woman as she glanced over and grinned, "It's good you didn't push 'em away Syl."

"Who, Dorian and Bull?" _But they are gone, what is she talking about?_ "I didn't mean to push them away but thankfully it worked out that way still. I'd have been reading reports of scandals involving an evil magister kidnapping elven servants for blood magic and a savage tall beast eating babies that never existed if those two stepped foot in the house."

"Nah," Sera chuckled at the wild exaggeration -though knowing the way Orlesians love to gossip it wasn't totally inaccurate- and she shrugged, "I meant the kids," _oh. Wait what? I'm still confused,_ "S'why I snapped at you when you sent 'em off, I thought you were getting rid of the other kiddo to make things easier on yourself." _Ooh~ alright._

"Is just a tiny bit of faith too much to ask for? I know I'm a jerk but I'd like to think I'm responsible too," the rogue cast a deadpan look and she grinned, "Okay, how about I have my **moments** of responsibility?"

"Better. Now c'mon let's get this shit over with, I have a promise to keep." _She made a promise_ _huh?_ _I wonder if she remembers mine..._

"Heh," Sylvira smiled softly as she reached over and intertwined her right hand with Sera's, "Me too."

* * *

"Ready?" _She looks ready to run the fuck away that's for friggin' sure._ Truthfully Sera wasn't looking forward to this 'meeting' whatsoever either, _what if_ _the kids ain't here_ _?_ She glanced over at Lavellan and playfully nudged the woman with her elbow, _she's on edge thinkin' the same thing._ "Not gonna lie, I got a real bad feeling 'bout this luv." _Always bad with nobles._

"Me too," Sylvira let out a low sigh and raked her hand through her hair, "Keep your guard up in case if this is part of a trap." _Part of a trap, wot?_ "If we don't see the kids right away-"

"They're alright Syl, they will be," _they better be,_ _or arrows gonna be the last thing these pricks worry 'bout with Syl on their arse. She'd probly leave 'em alive just to make every day hell till they off themselves, Jennies'll help too,_ the archer's eyebrows furrowed with confusion when she saw guilt flash in Lavellan's eyes, _the heck?_ "C'mon," she steeled herself as she took the first steps forward to the door, _I just know I'm gonna fucking regret this. The_ _things I fucking do for her._ She chewed on her lip, nervous that her weapons had been taken away and that she'd been bribed to promise she wouldn't do anything rash towards the parents even if they are _dickwad_ nobles, _not_ _now_ _anyways… If they're arseholes they'll get what's coming to them._ Sylvira exhaled sharply then braced herself as she strode to stand beside the rogue, she rose her hand and knocked firmly on the door, "Here we go..." Sera murmured and glanced at the nervous woman, she snickered quietly, _with all the shite we go through and_ _'_ _rents are the scariest thing to her._ "Jeez there's nothin' to worry 'bout. We fight-"

Both jumped when they heard excited and muffled shouting in a different language, the two elves exchanged confused glances and Lavellan silently exaggeratedly mouthed, "French. We are okay, I have my guide with me." _The same book the first time she was in Val Royeaux,_ _l_ _oser complained_ _my_ _notes sucked and had to use the stupid thing to find me,_ she chuckled quietly when the mage continued mouthing, "Behave." _Yeah right, who the hell does she think she's talkin' to?_ The door suddenly opened and revealed a relatively young couple, _probably_ _in their_ _thirties,_ though they hadn't worn their masks despite the custom in Orlais. _In a rush and forgot to put 'em on_ _maybe? Somethin'_ _stinks._

"Bonsoir mesdemoiselles!" _Okay_ _what_ _?_ Sera shared a panicked glance with the mage, _fuck she doesn't know either!_ _Why ain't she taking out the book?_ _Lookin' stupid's better than being stupid!_ "Comment allez-vous?" _What if they're saying they're gonna kill us?!_ The archer elbowed Sylvira when she'd gaped slack jawed and the young couple stared back in confusion, _say something you fuckin' lame loser!_

"Uh," _we're so fucked._ "Merde?" For some reason the couple looked horrified and exchanged panicked looks akin to the one the elves shared, Lavellan nudged the rogue a little farther when she'd been elbowed again, _I'm trying to warn you dumbass!_ "Our French is a little rusty."

"Erm," the noblewoman had a thick accent and smiled sheepishly as she bowed, "Our humble apologies, Inquisitor." _Huh? How do they know it's Syl?_ "Please," she gestured with her hand as she stepped aside with the excited-looking man, "Welcome in. It is good to finally meet you Inquisitor," when they stepped in the noblewoman offered her hand and the mage studied it for a moment, _fuck, where are the kids?_ Sera's eyes darted left and right as she scouted for traps and intruders, feeling incredibly on edge when Sylvira shook the noblewoman's hand before she rose it to her lips to give a soft peck on the knuckles, _what the fuck is she thinking?!_ Jealousy immediately stirred and Sera shuffled closer, harshly jabbing the mage's side with her finger out of the couple's view, _she_ _won't leggo'f her hand_ _, what the fuck!_

"The pleasure is mine Madame…?" Another jab, Lavellan jerked slightly and rose her head to cast a warning glare, but she never let go of the woman's hand who was currently blushing with a beet-red face, _course, coz she's got the mighty Inquistorialness groveling at her feet._

"M-madame Ophelia," Sera knew she saw a faint smirk appear before it disappeared just as swiftly, _loser_ _probly_ _thought of somethin'_ _stupid_ _,_ "Your Worship." _Uh huh. 'Worship'._ The mage nodded and reached to shake the hand of the young man who seemed to have stars in his eyes as well, _jeez they look at her like her shit sparkles or somethin'._

"Monsieur Alfred. So you are Inquisitor Lavellan," the man spoke with such awe and high regard in his voice, he looked at Sera, "And who is your esteemed companion?" _Esteemed,_ the rogue chuckled sarcastically and glowered when the mage nudged her, _f_ _uck that I'm not saying piss al_ _l._

"Her name's Sera, she doesn't talk," _not to nobles anyway, unless it's talking with arrows._ Sylvira leaned backwards and tugged the ends of the archer's shirt as if fixing it, _the fuck is she doing?_ The dalish woman whispered quietly, "This's cover, get 'round it." _Jeez,_ Sera chuckled quietly and crossed her arms, _really?_ When Lavellan rose she smiled charmingly, the couple seemingly ignored the odd behavior and politely gestured for the elves to follow down the hallway, "How did you know it was me, anyways?"

"Ah, we've heard many stories," the noblewoman started, _uh huh. I'll bet._ Sera smirked mischievously as she noticed a bead of sweat trickle down the side of the mage's face as she gulped nervously, _I don't smell nothin' wrong, but where are the kids? Syl's gonna drown us in piss if she's gotta talk with_ _these_ _'rents any longer._ "Stories of your exotic beauty, and you are even better than the stories milady," _exotic? Tch yeah right, she just rolls outta bed without giving a fuck,_ Sera rolled her eyes at the noblewoman's obvious flattery, _she's got her man and she's still checking Syl out,_ _eyes off bitch._ She glared when the mage poked her side and glanced with the most smug smirk she'd ever seen, _ugh! I'm_ _so_ _gonna smack that look off her friggin' face,_ _so full of herself_ _!_ "They say you carry an air of confidence and power that make men tremble."

"And I'm trembling," Alfred quipped cheekily until the noblewoman stared at him with a deadpan expression, _that's the same look I give Syl._ "We've also heard that you're as tall as a human." _What's that got to do with-oh right coz we're_ _elves_ _,_ Sera scowled and the noblewoman jabbed her husband then shot him a murderous look, _me an' her do the same things,_ _whatta-not-surprise with these losers_ _._ Lavellan reached over and squeezed the archer's hand, her eyes pleading Sera not to lose it, _I won't, yeah. Not yet._ _They seem alright so far_ _and the guy's just an idiot like Syl_ _,_ she'd never let her guard down as both elven women continued to study the house they'd walked through, every shadow nitpicked, every corner double checked as they moved in synchrony, covering each others' backs. _Syl's getting more nervous,_ _me too,_ _no kids…_ The house itself was surprisingly humble, still incredibly extravagant and flashy as per Orlesian standards, but not in an 'in your face' kind of way… If such a thing were possible. They'd been lead to a dining room that looked more like a miniature main hall at Skyhold, the long table had a decorative cover and the chandelier alone looked like it'd pay a whole month's worth of both rent and food combined. _Whoa that fancy girl's got it real~ good huh…_ _Good for her, I guess._

"Please," Ophelia bowed once again as she gestured to the chairs Alfred pulled out for the women, "We've prepared a couple of dishes and dessert for you," _that's code for '_ _there's poison in yer food_ _',_ "We hope you'll enjoy it, please give us a few minutes before we bring it out."

"Of course Madame Ifeelya, take all the time you need," the archer snickered quietly, the noblewoman smiled sheepishly and amounted it to Sylvira's lack of the 'proper' accent to correctly pronounce the name but Sera knew better. _Totally_ _on purpose, now I know why sh_ _e had that look_ _earlier._ Ophelia disappeared off to the kitchen and the mage spoke before Alfred followed suit, "Before you leave Monsieur, where is Grâce and Uvun? I was hoping to see them if you don't mind." _Good thinkin' waiting for him to be alone, guy's lost without his_ _'_ _wife_ _'_ _._

"They're still sleeping at the moment," Alfred explained with a soft yet sad smile, "Grâce said they've had a long and very exhausting trip." _I can't tell if_ _he'_ _s telling the truth or not,_ the rogue cautiously sat in her chair along with Lavellan and shuffled closer to the dalish woman, reaching under the table and squeezing her knee, _she'd know best, she'll figure it out._ "We… Apart from what you've divulged in the missive, we know a little more about what's happened." _Exactly what Syl don't wanna hear._

"Aye," Sylvira nodded as she brushed her knee along the archer's, "They've been through a lot. They deserve a good long break." _Too bad that ain't how things work._

"My apologies," Alfred bowed, _huh?_ "We haven't thanked you properly yet, to tell you the truth we're very nervous about meeting you." _Hah!_ _A_ _nd Syl_ _'_ _s sweating buckets over this._

"What? Why?" The nobleman's head snapped up as if Lavellan had asked a ridiculous question, _is she serious? She really doesn't know? She really is the dumbest smart person._

"W-well," Alfred gulped nervously as he scratched the back of his head, "You're the Inquisitor after all."

"But I'm not here for any business deals or meetings," _seriously._ _That's when she thinks of herself as the 'mighty Inquisitoralness'?_ Sera gave the dalish woman a deadpan look, _she don't get how other people_ _see_ _her..._ _Even the stable boy looked like he was gonna shite his pants_ _right_ _off when she tipped 'im a sovereign like it don't mean nothing._ "I'm just me," that made the archer's heart swell with warmth and she smirked with pride, _she's fulla herself, but she's still 'just' her._ "In any case at ease, to be honest I was nervous as well so... Let's just be ourselves." _Being 'ourselves' is just about the worst fuckin' advice you can give luv,_ the rogue snickered quietly and she chewed her lip when Lavellan pinched the side of her thigh in retaliation, _ow that friggin' hurt!_

"Right..." Alfred bowed again, "A-as you wish, Inquisitor." The nobleman glanced over his shoulder to look at the closed door to the kitchen, before Sylvira could protest he blurted as he spun on his heel to leave, "I'll give you your privacy to eat in peace now." _Uh, there's no food yet._ _Whatta weirdo, oh well._

"Hey." Sylvira murmured and leaned to the side to bump into the archer's shoulder, Sera tilted her head and looked up then rolled her eyes at the sight of a smug grin, _here we go, I know that look._ "Did you hear?" She lilted playfully, "Exotic beauty~" _the bitch got into Syl's_ _big fat_ _head._

"Shut up, loser."

"Jealous?"

"Of yer _exotically_ ugly face?"

"Admit it Sera," Lavellan craned her neck and leaned back in her chair to plant a soft kiss just below the rogue's ear lobe, her grin spreading from ear to ear as she whispered, "I saw the way you looked at her, and I'm jealous too."

"What?" The archer cursed the hoarse rasp lacing her voice, an involuntary shudder crawled along her spine at the rush of air hitting the more sensitive spots of her neck as Sylvira chuckled, "The fuck are you on 'bout ye daft tit?" _I hate the_ _bitch_ _'s guts._

"You were pissed at her," the mage pressed her lips farther to the back of Sera's neck and she gritted her teeth, _fuck she's_ _so_ _gonna pay for this later,_ "You're sexy when you're angry." _Like to see you say that when I go nuts on you,_ she inwardly groaned, _which she does. Fuckin' weirdo._ "I don't like it when you give that look to anyone but me. Hence my irrational jealousy," the rogue rolled her eyes and missed the near-silent whisper, _course she'd call it 'irrational' too._ Another tender kiss to the crook of her neck and shoulder, Sera clenched her jaw and gave the mage a rather hard jab with her finger, "Ow~ what was that for?"

"Told me to behave and then you do this ye friggin' daft twat, what if the kiddos come see their _Big Sis_ gettin' handsy with _Icky-Kisses_ huh?" She mentally kicked herself when the woman parted abruptly as if realization struck her, _fuck sake why'd I open my mouth?_ Before Sylvira shuffled farther away, the archer grabbed the collar of her shirt and pulled her down as she murmured huskily, "C'mere luv," _stupid look on her face. Needs to wipe it off when we go back to the inn, with smacks. Lots of smacks,_ she smirked mischievously as she melded seamlessly with the mouth that threatened to drive her insane every second both awake and asleep, _loser_ _..._ She'd been keenly aware of the hand brushing up and down her thigh, ghosting teasingly along the inner side and far too close to a rather inappropriate place, _only with Syl,_ laughter bubbled inside her chest, _can shite like this happen. Makin' out in a freakin' noble_ _'s_ _house, this is_ _too_ _good._

"When we get to the inn," Sylvira breathed huskily and the rough timbre that replaced her usual-melodic accent sent all heat pooling to the pits of Sera's stomach, _her talking_ _rubbish is_ _rubbing off on me now,_ she inwardly grumbled, _but without the fuckin' rubbing._ "You have less than a minute before I have you pinned to the wall and screaming my name, no kissing, no foreplay." _That's real big talk for her, she's ready_ _now_ _huh?_ The archer subconsciously rubbed her legs together in an attempt to appease the not-as-subtle ache, _frig, so am I._ _Stupid rubbish words,_ _ **hate**_ _it._ "Shit," the mage rested her forehead on Sera's shoulder, "They need to hurry the fuck up," they both chuckled hoarsely, "I'm convinced the kids are safe and sound, can we just-"

"Nope." _She switches all the time._

"Why the hell are you screwing me over like this? Not the right reason as usual." _Oi yer screwin' me over with all the freaking changes you make._

"Because," the rogue hooked her hands under the chair and shuffled away to the side, grinning as she lilted teasingly, "It's fun." _She n_ _eeds to make up her friggin' mind already,_ _before I lose it._

"Fucking sadist," Sylvira scoffed then smirked, "We always fit naturally in our roles."

"You seriously like getting smacked for **that** reason? Yer into some weird shite luv."

"Don't deny it, you've been smacking for the same reason." _Now I can't tell if she's joking 'bout being having that_ _kinda_ _thing or not._

"Yeah... No. Not into that sorta kinky stuff," Sera poked out her tongue at the mock-deflated look, "Sorry to disappoint ya luv. Why don'tcha ask _lady_ Ifeelya?" Her eyes flashed dangerously despite her playful grin, as if both warning and daring Lavellan to do it, _she'll die if she does_ _it just like with that one chick at Cabot's bar._

"You know that's not such a bad idea, it's rather tempting... Have you seen the way she casually flaunts her cleavage?" _What? I don't remember that part, was she really? Was busy tryna tell_ _the bitch with my eyes that_ _I_ _'d kill her if_ _her_ _eyes weren't off Syl_ _._ "It's as if she's begging for me to get lost in them," the archer's eyes darkened, _she's seriously friggin_ _g_ _thinking_ _'_ _bout it?_ "Your question's also code for 'this is a fucking trap'." _For once she got it._ They'd been startled out of their conversation when the kitchen door burst open and the disheveled couple poured out with the plates and one with a lid covering the supposed dinner.

"Je suis désolée," _this bitch forget we can't understand or what?_ "Err," Ophelia quickly set up the plates, "Our apologies for making you wait so long Inquisitor, we had some trouble starting the fire." The mage rose her hand to signal it was okay and shook her head as she grinned charmingly, stealing a side-glance at Sera who glared back as she fumed with jealousy, _she's_ _so_ _fuckin' doing this on purpose, the arse!_ The anxious couple bowed as the murmured their humble apologies, "We'll be in the kitchen getting the next dish ready, we hope you enjoy," and disappeared before Sylvira could say anything, _uh, what?_

"I know they're scared of me. I also know they want to give us privacy, I get that. I really do. I know they're sincerely nice people, and I know they're actually being honest," _how the hell did she figure that out? More tricks probly._ Lavellan lifted the lid to the center plate and both elves blanched at the same time, _that is_ _not_ _food,_ "But it's still really hard for me to just trust people when this is all **really** fucking sketchy."

"Yep," Sera whispered quietly and nudged the woman's side with her elbow, "So what the fuck is this?" _They don't make this kinda shite in Skyhold that's for sure._ They peered down at the plate of _not-_ food until Sylvira finally reached into her satchel to take out her guide, fortunately the hosts remained in the kitchen as they got more _not_ _-_ food ready… Unfortunately.

"Fuck if I know, hold on," Lavellan was frantically flipping through the pages as she hid the book under the table in case if the couple would come back out, "I just want to make sure I won't be sitting and shitting for an hour before I try it."

"What the fuck, what 'bout poison ye daft tit?!" The archer hissed then cast a skeptical glance at the _not-_ food, _fuck I knew this was trouble,_ _maybe they're just nice to get us to drop our guard?_ "These tits might be the kinda arseholes that-"

" _Shh~_ before they hear us," the mage hushed back and gave a harsh nudge with her elbow, "Okay here we go, it looks like this picture here." Sylvira leaned over and poked the side of Sera's thigh with the book, they craned their necks then snuck a glance under the table, "Fois gras." They read the text together and squirmed uncomfortably when the dalish woman murmured the summary, "Force-fed duck to fatten their liver ten times it's normal size… Well then... There's worse ways to go, I guess."

"Would you want someone feeding you 'til you can't take no more, and keep shovin' it in yer mouth anyway?" Sera immediately regret that when Lavellan flashed her a mischievous grin, " **Shut.** **U** **p.** " Parts of the dream in which the mage had been between her legs surfaced in the back of her mind until she'd promptly squashed them, her stomach stirred but for all the wrong reasons. _Fuck I got a case of twitchy fingers without my bow and she's friggin' turning me on._ _Knew this was a bad idea._

"What?" Sylvira feigned innocence, "I didn't say anything," _uh huh._ The woman stuffed the book back in her satchel and shrugged as she picked up the cutlery, "If it's a common delicacy it should be alright then," _should?! S_ _he's seriously gonna eat it?_ The archer watched Sylvira for any signs that would indicate that she was dying a horribly agonizing death, but the mage seemed pleasantly happy when she ate. _I'm hungry too,_ she eyed the _maybe-_ food and glanced over at the dalish woman again, "Jeez it's safe, you've survived my cooking right? I'm not dying and it surprisingly tastes good too," she cut off a piece and promptly shoved it in Sera's mouth when she opened to protest, _what the shit!_ Lavellan's eyes danced with amusement when the rogue reluctantly chewed, _oh hey not bad I guess,_ "Good stuff right?"

"Mm," Sera nodded then swallowed, she rolled her eyes when the citron orbs bounced with glee, _bet she's doing a happy dance in her head that I'm playing nice, loser. It's coz she took my arrows away,_ the parents  were nice though and not uppity stuck arseholes like she thought they'd be, just a little quirky and weird in their own way but who isn't? "It's not so~ bad I s'pose," she muffled with food in her mouth as she attacked her own portion with the wrong fork, she still felt uneasy and shifted uncomfortably in her chair. All of this was still too much and she'd desperately been trying not to poke fun nor mess anything up, knowing Sylvira would be extra nervous trying to explain it to the parents. _I_ _t ain't 'bout them being noble or what they'll think with this Inquisitor shite,_ she stole a glance as Lavellan's eyes darted around and continued to look around the dining hall while her hands and mouth worked of their own accord. Her head snapped to and fro, making sure there really weren't any intruders or traps, _still nervous. I am too,_ "Can't we ask to see 'em if they're sleeping? We can just come back to pick up the kiddo 'morrow morning." _Need my bow, don't feel right without it._

"I know," the mage nodded and brushed her knee along Sera's, _sappy tit,_ "Let's finish this then, but you owe me dessert." _Don't care, just wanna_ _get the fuck outta here._ "I'll-"

"We. Don't think 'bout doing nothing by yourself here stupid," the archer rolled her eyes when Sylvira grinned as she leaned over to whisper in her ear, _loser_ _'s definitely_ _getting smacked later._

"I won't leave you alone, I'll protect you."

"I can take care of myself, it's you walkin' into a friggin' trap -as usual- that I'm worried 'bout," she spat out then stabbed at her food as she promptly shoved it in her mouth. _Fuck._

"Worried, hm?"

"Shut up."

"You know," Sylvira abandoned her utensils in no particular fashion then grabbed a decorative cloth as she wiped her mouth, "I should charge you a copper every time you tell me to shut up. I'll be the richest woman alive in a week." She offered the not-napkin to the rogue who shrugged and wiped her mouth as well, the two eventually rose from the table after ungracefully wrestling with the heavy chairs, _fuck why's fancy_ _gotta_ _mean loaded with gold?_

"What makes you think I'll pay it? I ought to charge you coz yer killing my ears."

"You like the sound of my voice," Sera glared, _uh huh. So full of herself,_ the smug woman merely shrugged and flashed a confident smirk, "Don't deny it. I've seen the looks you give me when I'm humming and singing."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," the archer waved her hand dismissively as they made way for the kitchen, still on guard just to be cautious and ready for anything. When they'd opened the door, she tensed and scowled as she went on full alert, _I fucking knew it!_ The couple had gloves on as they hovered over a bowl filled with really spiky balls, _those fucking caltrops or_ _what_ _?_ Just before she bolted for the counter with knifes, Lavellan grabbed her wrist and smiled with a guilty look in her eyes, _the fuck is she doing?_

"I'll be honest, I've tried those before and I'm not a fan of oursins, not too much of a seafood person," _huh?_ "You don't need to go through all this preparation for me, I'm fine with normal food," she chuckled when Alfred nudged the noblewoman, his lips silently mouthing 'I told you so'. _That's_ _food? Yeah right._ Sera skeptically glanced over at some that were already plated, the tops cracked off revealed bright orange inside, _that's… Seriously?_ _Fuck nobles are even weirder than Syl._ _And that's_ _ **really**_ _weird._

"My humble apologies Inquisitor," Madame Opheila started and stepped away from the counter to bow before the mage rose her hand and shook her head.

"It's alright. My companion and I have had a long journey and we're going to our inn for the night," the parents looked like they were going to protest but Lavellan didn't give them any chances, "We'll come by tomorrow morning to pick up Uvun. It'll give the girls plenty of time to say goodbye," _goodbye?_ Sera glanced up at the tall woman, _oh right, fancy one's back home and the other kiddo…_ Her eyebrows furrowed with worry, _plenty of time to say goodbye? Doubt_ _it. They_ _always played with each other_ _at Skyhold,_ _they're_ _freaking_ _attached at the hip._ _Gonna be lotsa snot_ _and crying_ _,_ "May I go say good night to them before we go?"

"Y-yes," Alfred smiled softly and Ophelia seemed genuinely surprised, "Of course Inquisitor," the man bowed and gestured with his hand for both elves to follow, "This way, please." _When they gonna get Syl's a person, like 'em? She can say night to kiddos too,_ though if Sera was being honest if someone told her a month ago the mage wanted to kiss children good night she'd have busted a lung laughing, thinking it was another lousy prank. _And we been friends for a long time,_ _she wrote what,_ _B_ _loomingtide right?_ _Holy shite just_ _startin'_ _three months_ _then,_ _feels_ _way_ _longer,_ she lingered behind Lavellan as they'd been lead down majestic hallways, her eyes bouncing along with the unkempt lopsided ponytail swaying to and fro, _why's she always gotta walk so weird when she's excited?_ Her lips curled up in a subtle smirk, _friends, huh?_

 _ **You're the only one I've done those things with despite us not even being 'together', on your terms anyways.**_

 _You said that'd change soon, how soon is soon?_ It'd been obvious to see Sylvira's excitement no matter how hard she tried to hide it, even if she'd try to play it calm and composed, the archer could see the way the citron swirled and danced when the woman glanced over her shoulder. Alfred stopped at a door and held his finger up at his lips for them to signal to be quiet and they nodded, he opened the door just a small crack so the light wouldn't shine on the sleeping faces. Immediately the mage's body relaxed as the tension melted away, she'd subconsciously reached over for Sera's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, no longer able to contain her relief and excitement at the sight of the children snuggling together. _She's like a damn kid herself,_ the rogue snickered softly and Lavellan muttered so quietly even Sera had a hard time hearing, "They're so fucking cute." _Ye_ _ah.._ _._ The longer she stood to gaze, the more Alfred appeared awkward, not knowing what to say or do, _jeez. She don't wanna leave now,_ Sera tugged her hand away and snapped the woman out of her reverie, she raked her hand through her hair and let out a small sigh, "We'll come back tomorrow." The nobleman nodded and lead them out, Sera glanced over and stifled the laughter bubbling in her chest as she pursed her lips in a thin line, _she looks so friggin' sad now._

At the door the couple seemed awkward as they showed the two out and once again Sylvira was nervous, _she meets people_ _and fights scarier shite_ _all the time, wh_ _at's the deal_ _with 'rents?_ Alfred suddenly strode forward and embraced the mage who froze stiff, _uh,_ she shared confused glances with Sera when Ophelia joined as well, _oi what the fuck?!_ "Thank you so much for bringing back our little girl," the man murmured with a choked voice, Sera crossed her arms and watched with amusement when the parents started crying on Sylvira's shoulders, she'd awkwardly rose her hands and patted their back. _This is_ _too_ _good,_ _never seen her this uncomfy before._ _Gotta remember this no matter what._

"Save me," Lavellan silently mouthed and the archer shrugged, _that's whatcha get for takin' my arrows away,_ "Traitor!" Eventually the couple backed away, embarrassed as they composed themselves and bowed as they quietly apologized, "Uh..." The dalish woman spoke hesitantly as she rubbed the back of her neck, "It's alright, just… Yeah." _Syl_ _speechless?_ "Anyways, see you tomorrow," Sylvira shoved her hands in her pockets and quickly spun on her heel before the couple had a chance to do anything else, walking away with Sera as if they were trying to act cool while running away from a dragon breathing fire on their asses.

"À demain Inquisitor!" Ophelia called out cheerfully, "You're welcome here any time!" _Uh huh. I'll make sure she ain't comin'._ _Not_ _coz of_ _you anyway._

Certain they were out of earshot as they turned a corner, they sped down an eerie alleyway where shadows and darkness blanketed far too many spots for their comfort. "You'll pay for that treachery," the mage murmured with a sullen look, "How could you? I thought you'd have my back!"

"I do. Laughing, anyway," Sera grinned proudly when the woman pouted like an unhappy child, "Oh c'mon, you'd do the same."

"I'd pay to see that," Lavellan admitted with a mischievous smirk, "One day. Just you wait and see."

"You got that look," quite honestly it unnerved the archer, "Yer already planning how to make it happen, aren't you?" _She could do it too._

"Karma's a bitch, I even have a long list of people it's missed. Anyways," the mage fished in her satchel for her pipe and elfroot, "Got your matches? Want to sneak a smoke in else the inn owner's going to _politely_ bitch about the smell."

"Idiots s'what they are," Sera grumbled as she fumbled in her thigh pouch, "Smells nice." Sylvira glanced over her shoulder with the pipe hanging in the corner of her mouth, her eyebrow risen in interest, "What? I've always liked it." _Reminds me_ _of my first Jenny job_ _too._

"So that's why you've never complained? Does that mean I can smoke all I want?" _You do anyways._

"Go for it," the archer shrugged, she handed over the matches and watched Sylvira light then circle the match inside the pipe's bowl, "Don't see why not. We'll probly die before our lungs anyway." Any tension remaining in her muscles from the trying 'meeting' with the parents seeped out as the scent flooded her nose, the sweet and pleasant aroma always conjured images of autumn with leaves of bright red or yellow swirling around in a gentle breeze. The first time she'd imagined this when she hung out with the mage more and had these images, she thought she was _absolutely freaking nuts_ until she'd remembered the job. _Weird, but whatever. No way I'm tellin' Syl, she'd make fun o' me forever._

"That's what I keep telling Josephine!" Lavellan suddenly whirled around and plucked the pipe from her mouth, "Glad someone sees things the way I do." She leaned down to steal a kiss and Sera reacted quickly as she rose her hand, chuckling when the soft lips crashed into her palm instead, _too fun doin' this to her_. "Thank you for being a terrible person with me," the woman muffled then darted to the side as she brought Sera's hand down, smothering their mouths together anyways. The rogue suppressed the groan when the smoke-laced tongue delved in her mouth, she pushed Sylvira away by the shoulders to create some distance, _this part: sexy, but..._

"I like the smell luv, not the taste. Don't get whatcha like 'bout that."

"Your loss, I've never tasted anything better than this… Yet." The mage waggled her eyebrows suggestively as she smirked smugly, _here we go,_ she stuffed the pipe back in the corner of her mouth, "Want to fix that?" Her eyes clouded with desire and the shadows of the night played on her face, "Nuvenan rosas'da'din," her hands smoothed along Sera's waist and rested on her hips, "In'emma'av'in." _Ugh._

"You had to go ruin it with elfy shite again? I-"

"Said I want you to cum in my mouth." _Yeah_ _. Fixed_ _that real fast and easy_ _._ A wicked lopsided grin spread across Lavellan's face as she pushed the pipe to the other corner of her mouth, letting out a small puff of smoke out and the two watched it rise until it dispersed in the air. She looked back down at Sera, "So?" _What? I smelled shit, thought it was a joke._

"What happened," the archer licked her lips, "To not being ready?" _Changed her mind real fast after knowing the kids were okay. Wonder why that mattered?_ Truthfully she'd still felt nervous that things would end up being like the dream, but even she couldn't deny the thrumming in her veins as she reciprocated the glazed and heated look. "Gotta go to the inn first, no way we gonna do it in the middle of a fuckin' street during the night. Asking for trouble's your hobby luv." _Would be hot, but I don't want no arrows up my arse._

"And here I thought," _there's the bullshit all over her breath_ _again_ _,_ "That you'd be open-minded and spontaneous," _am, when I'm not gonna bloody die._ Another puff of smoke as Sylvira teased, she released her hold when the rogue glared, "Alright you caught me. It'd be more like begging for trouble here." _That's what I thought._ "Hurry up then, we have unfinished business to take care of." _Huh_ _?_ "There's still the matter of your payment as well."

"Payment for what?" _Huh?_ Sera looked on with curiosity when Sylvira fished for the guide and started thumbing through pages, _t_ _he heck is she lookin' at that for?_

"For accomplishing the impossible and not stuffing Ifeelya with improvised arrows," the mage shrugged, "Even if I did bribe you and coerce you to promise me... I still think you deserve an even better and personal reward from me, as compensation for a difficult job." _Oi yer makin' it sound like I can't get along with nobody._

"Uh huh." _She already gave coin._ "Keep talkin'," the two grinned mischievously, anticipation coursing through them as they resumed walking at a much faster pace. "What kinda reward?" _Better be real fuckin' good._ _And dirty._

"Our favorite kind: straight to business. The wall," Lavellan glanced over her shoulder with a provocative look, "Remember?" _Oh~ she was serious 'bout that huh?_ _She better not waste time talkin' forever first or I'll smack her._ "Je vais te baisé dur."

"Already told you before luv, if elfy don't work then-"

"I said," Sylvira paused for dramatic effect as she looked back in front of her, Sera tilted her head in confusion when the woman folded the corner of the page and tossed the book over her shoulder. _The hell is she doing?_ Curious, the archer caught and opened it to the page with the folded corner, her lips immediately spread in a large grin when her eyes fell on the phrase that seemed to match whatever it was Lavellan said, _well then,_ _smooth as fuck isn't she?_ "I'll fuck you hard." _**Stupid**_ _ **rubbish words**_ _._ The subtle ache settled in between her thighs reminded her of it's presence with intermittent throbbing, her stomach buzzed and her heart fluttered when the tall woman flashed her a suggestive smirk, _this'll be good._ "Remember what I said when we finished dinner?" _Wait... What?_ _How the hell's she go from dirty to food?_ "I think for dessert I'd like to try la chatte humide, I've never had it before. You ever try it?" _Fuck she always switches so fast, I'm lost._

"Dunno," _she always wanna try_ _fancy_ _food,_ _can't be friggin' simple,_ "Don't sound familiar, so guess I haven't either." Sera's eyebrow rose when Lavellan suddenly burst out laughing, "What the fuck? Pipe down before stupid tits come to attack us ye daft twat!" She glanced at the book in her hands, _rather look stupid than be stupid,_ on a hunch she flipped through the pages to translate the words and her eyes widened, she couldn't help but join the cackling woman, "You arse!"

 _ **Hate it so~ much.**_


	15. The One Word That Changed Everything

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** You know one of my favorite things about writing is when the next document starts off as "-Syl and Sera go back to inn to pick up Sera's weapons. Vicinius's house" (just to remind myself where I'd generally like to go/achieve) to a full blown chapter when I get smacked with a random idea. I know I said I'd be working on Ena (her chapter's half-done) and Terra (only a couple scenes) but I just got excited -as usual- about this and thus my whims have carried us here. I've also had a moment of triumph when I'd finally proven to my girlfriend I don't _always_ sit down to write, since I'd gotten curious and sprinted across a distance in the house to see if 'six' seconds would have been realistic (you'll see soon why :P).

Also sorry for taking a while to put something out this week, much of my free time has either been chewed away by getting ready for school or photoshop (first time ever using it, I'm a complete noob lol). I've created some new covers for the stories, almost done Fen's but I hate the title text lol (I'm really hoping the wolf-shifting aspects are still easy to see too). Though I'm definitely not artistic and even getting used to photoshop itself took a while (so many options. Like holy shit), I'm surprisingly actually proud with what's turned out. It's too bad FF doesn't allow a larger view since there are foreshadowing hints added just for that extra "oh shit! We're at the point of the story that matches the cover pic!" In any case, hope you like it or if you got some tips/ideas for me then have at it, I'm always willing to hear [constructive] feedback even if it's "Lance, this sucks harder than Syl [kinda-innuendo-joke-wasted]. But here's what you can do to fix it" :P In any case enough rambling. **On to the story!**

* * *

 **The One Word That Changed Everything**

* * *

"Yo Bull!" Sylvira had a cheeky smile and rose her hand to her temple, her two fingers giving a small salute as she whistled when she took in stock of the qunari's appearance, _mng why's she always gotta do this with everybody..._ "Been working hard I see," she teased as her eyes follow the trails of drops sliding down the massive chest. They landed on the large piece of linen wrapped around Bull's waist, "Wait a sec," her head snapped up at the grinning qunari, "Where is it?!" _Huh? Where the frig's what?_

"Sharp eyes Boss, knew you'd figure it out!" Bull gave a thumbs up, "We just got back from there, fucking amazing."

"Uh, I'm lost." Sera shrugged when the two looked at her, "Where's what?"

"Bathhouse," the qunari chuckled at the obvious excitement in Lavellan's eyes, "Already paid the guy your share, told 'im you wouldn't want masseurs or others waiting to pamper ya. Shame, they've got a nice redhead. Soft hands and-" he abruptly cut off when Sera coughed and glared at him, _shut. The. Fuck. Up._ "Anyways, the place is empty and waiting for ya."

"Have I ever told you how much I fucking love you?" The rogue felt a pang of jealousy as she watched, _always throws that word 'round easily_ _with everyone_ _but with me…_ Memories of the woman falling off the roof surfaced and her lips automatically curved in a small smile, that'd been eradicated when Sylvira gestured for Bull to bend lower. _The hell is she doing?_ Realization dawned on her, _that's what I do to her when-_ her protest all but died on her lips when the mage rose on her toes and held on to Bull's horns as she gave a kiss off-side the mouth, far too close for Sera's liking. "That's your reward and," she fished in her satchel to pull out a coin purse, "This is to pay back the fee. Interest included for dealing with the guy for me, he gets on my nerves."

"Not a problem Boss, any time." Bull thumbed behind him, "Wanna come in, talk 'bout how it went with the 'rents?"

"Nah I wanna go to the bath house. Surprisingly went well with them, and they're still alive. Shocking right?" The mage lilted teasingly as she glanced at Sera, "I'm proud of her, she's growing up."

 _What an arse,_ "Har dee haw, jester."

"Whoa!" The qunari looked at Sera and she rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms. " **You** didn't-"

"Shut up, arseholes." She poked out her tongue and sneered, "S'coz I don't have my bow. Gimme it already, been having the case o' twitchy fingers for a while now."

"Uh huh," Bull turned and disappeared inside, raising his voice so the two could hear him, "Boss put you to work did she?" _Will soon that's for sure, bloody better._

"I wish! I've been trying for months," Lavellan shouted back and chuckled when the archer pushed her with one hand, "What was that for?" _Better put me to work when we go to our room, do all that shite you promised._

"Just felt like it." _So you fuckin' remember 'bout it._

"I see," Sylvira grinned and nodded when the giant returned with all the weapons to which Sera eagerly took, the daggers and quiver swiftly fastened without any qualms. "Alright then, in the morning Sera and I are gonna pick up the kid and we'll come back to meet you guys here. See ya!" Bull shot her an odd look but before he could ask she started running down the hall and waved her hand, _fuck she's seriously that excited?_ _Don't blame 'er._

"Uh, what about that merchant's house we were supposed to go to?" _Ugh frig get a clue._

"Dunno," Sera shrugged then turned to walk, "Later Bull." Her lips curled in a smirk and her stomach churned with anticipation, _think I'll tease her by going_ _really_ _slow,_ she flashed a mischievous grin when the qunari's gruff chuckles resounded in the hallway as he disappeared back into his room, his voice muffled. _Show up when she's itching to fuck._

"Have fun breaking the furniture!" _Uh huh._ _Paint the walls too._

With a bounce in her step as she sped down the hallways and searched for their room, she caught herself and slowed down immensely, _ugh now I'm walkin' like an idiot too, just like Syl._ Her mischief spurred and she snickered quietly when she heard a familiar melodic accent shout with clear irritation, she followed the sound of where it had come from, "Sera hurry the fuck up!" _Didn't take long did it?_ No longer able to wait either, the archer strode faster and readied herself as she loosened the buckles on the straps of her weapons. _Ripping 'em off's part of the fun, gonna be funny when she gets pissed tryna get rid of 'em._ The more she thought of the dirty promises, the more her nerves thrummed, _stupid rubbish words, talking is Syl's foreplay not mine._

Though even she couldn't deny she liked the mage's confidence and playful teasing, when she idly imagined what sex would be like things had always been heat of the moment with naughty words whispered in her ear. For some reason, her instincts tried to warn her of something but she wasn't quite sure what, and nothing was setting off warning bells that she was in danger. _Something 'bout dessert? The fuck's that got to do with anything besides what-_ her lips spread in an even wider grin- _I'm about to get?_ As soon as she reached the door with sounds of things being tossed around inside, her impatience got the best of her and she reached for the handle. Suddenly the door whipped open and she jumped, startled from the tall woman's abrupt appearance, _shit she wants this more than I do, notta surprise since she's the bigger perv._ " **Finally**. Did you get lost or something?" Lavellan interlocked fingers with the rogue as she stepped out, _uh, wait what? We're fucking in the hallway?_ She wasn't quite sure if she loved or hated the idea of their first time- _or not…?_ The mage rotated her torso and fumbled with the keys in her bandaged hand then locked the door, she dragged Sera down the hallways until they'd reached the main foyer.

Still uncertain with the sudden changes and mind trying to figure out what was happening, the archer blurted out, "What are you doing?" She exchanged confused looks when Sylvira glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow risen as if her very face had been trying to scream the obviousness of her actions. _Not obvious to me, that's for damn sure. Did she forget or what? Better not._ A light pang reminded her of the subtle ache between her thighs, _I sure as fucking wouldn't._ "Wipe that look off yer face and tell me what the fuck's going on."

"Uh… Did you forget already? We're going to the bathhouse." _She's got fuckin' nerve asking if I forgot when she did!_ The business-like tone had either been really good covering up the _s'posto-fucking-be-there_ husky quality, or Lavellan had completely forgotten after all, _figures. All talk no fucking show, like always._ Sera yanked her hand out of the grasp and the woman glanced over her shoulder again with a worried look, "The hell's your problem?"

"I can walk by myself," the rogue spat vehemently, "I'm not a fucking mutt on a leash."

"I wasn't implying nor treating you like one," Sylvira shrugged and resumed to lead the two outside and to the bathhouse building, "I'm lost. First you like holding hands then you don't, then you do and then you don't. Was giving Bull a peck on the cheek that upsetting for you?" _How the fuck did she seriously forget everything she fucking said?!_

"How the fuck was that even on the cheek?" Though it wasn't what she was mad about, it was now that she'd been reminded of it. Sera crossed her arms and glared at the mage as they walked, "Ye might as well have kissed 'im on the frigging mouth."

"Andraste's dimpled tits it was just a friendly fucking smooch, Bull's with Dorian remember? And I don't step in other peoples' businesses." _Uh huh. 'Cept that's all you ever fucking do._ "They're both good friends to me, or have you _conveniently_ forgotten that I do the exact same thing with Dorian? What's next," the woman's composure wavered and irritation blatant in her accent, "Going to get jealous of him, even though I'm kissing you all the fucking time? And sometimes you stop me too, do you see me complaining? No."

"Are now." Something struck the rogue as odd in that speech, yet anger clouded her judgment and she was raring to fight. _If she's gotta point it out then it annoys her, fact._ _Good, deserves it._

"There's a **very** big difference between 'fuck Sera can you stop raising your hand to stop me, it's pissing me off' and 'pointing out a fucking fact', no? Or did the rules change when I wasn't looking? Oh wait," the mage scoffed sarcastically as she flicked her wrist to open the door to the bathhouse, "With you there are no fucking rules."

"Pissed off that I'm **simple** , huh Syl?" Sera smirked when Sylvira groaned and threw up her hands in mock-surrender, _easiest and fastest way to win._

"I fucking give up, we're going in circles like this," the dalish woman's eyes lit up at the sight of the large steaming pool, decorative tiles surrounded the perimeter and even the stone benches in the water had been crafted from the same marble. "Orlesians sure know how to make a beautiful bathhouse," Lavellan commented with awe and the rogue chuckled bitterly, "Look." The mage glared over her shoulder, "Can you drop it already? You're pissed, I get it, but don't pick a fight with me for absolutely no reason." _No reason…!_ Sera's protest died in her throat when the mage strode forward and stripped confidently, she looped the satchel over her head and tossed it towards the edge of the pool. She wrestled off her shirt and chucked it over her shoulder, and the rest of her clothes followed suit as they were abandoned and thrown haphazardly. _Fuck…_

One by one every nerve tinged with anger twisted into desire, yet her stubborn pride demanded she tame her urges. With a huff she strode to the wall on the opposite side of where Sylvira had entered the bathwater and silently undressed, her weapons hidden and buried underneath her clothes. Not even a sharp inhale, no notable reactions, Sera's lips pursed and frustration welled up in her, had she not been wanted? The mage always said _something_ when she'd stripped naked, some fancy compliment or vulgar not-so-innuendo, and though she'd never admit it out loud she liked the gawking and flowery words. _I ain't gonna fucking beg for it either, maybe that's what she's waiting for? Too bad, she's never gonna get it then._ With a quiet sigh she turned around and her heart fell with disappointment, Lavellan's eyes darted left and right as she knelt in the water that lapped underneath her chin, her palms smoothing along the decorative tiles lining the border of the bath. "Marvelous," the woman murmured with fascination, "Already the Orlesians have learned and perfected Tevinter architecture." _Huh?_ Sylvira took a deep breath then submerged herself, the archer stepped in the bath and watched with her eyebrow risen in confusion, _the fuck is she doing?_ All she could see was golden hair float on the surface of the water and the distorted body underneath, _is she swimming or touching the friggin' ground? Whatta weirdo._

With a shrug she looked over and out of curiosity reached for one of the buckets that were lined up along the edge, she took a peek inside and reached for a fresh linen cloth, _handy. Better than scrubbing with hands,_ she dipped the cloth in the water and began washing herself, her muscles automatically relaxing as the steaming water soaked and eased away all tension. _Wonder how they keep all this warm?_ She regretted thinking that, nausea licked the edges of her consciousness at the first answer that came to mind, _stupid magic, I bet. Magical water or somethin'._ She'd jumped when Lavellan abruptly broke the surface and whipped her head back to swing the damp hair out of her face, she'd taken noisy and heavy gulps of air. "That's fucking genius!" _Huh?_ "I can use something like that in my design too," the mage grinned as she looked over at Sera, "Interested in a bit of an architecture lesson?"

"Not really," the rogue shrugged, "The fuck for? Do I look like someone who gives a shite 'bout this building rubbish?"

"You aren't curious how they keep this water warm?" _Well I am, but…_ "Judging by how you look like you're ready to puke, allow me to do what I do best and ease your worries." _Uh huh. Friggin' give me more problems instead._ "It's not magic," the woman stated cheerfully then pointed down at the water, "Below us is a new -well for Orlesians anyways- new heating system of which Tevinters," _you mean slaves,_ "Have been constructing and perfecting for years. It's called the hypocaust," she rose from the water and turned to reach for a bucket near her as she plucked a cloth, sitting on the stone bench immersed underwater as she scrubbed her arms. "When they add wood to the fire in the furnace the-" her eyebrows knitted and she frowned when Sera mock-yawned.

"Already told you I ain't interested Syl. It's 'nough for me to know it ain't magic," _thank frigging Andraste for that._ She stiffened at that and stared blankly at the cloth on her arm, something struck her as familiar and she stole a glance when the mage sighed as she continued washing herself. _Andraste, Syl said Andraste earlier. Thought she always believed her elfy whatevers?_ She'd been curious now and wanted to ask, but her stubborn pride demanded she continued showing her displeasure until the woman figured it out, despite feeling lame about it. _Usually I'd just spit it out, the fuck is wrong with me?_ Her lips pursed and her eyes fell, she went on with rubbing and scrubbing again as she waged war with her inner turmoil of anger and honesty. _Pride's talking again. Stupid pride._ Disappointment welled up and she'd been irritated with herself, _being just like stupid Emmald and Syl again, ain't no better._

 _ **And for what?! To shove it in my face, hurt me? You're such a fucking hypocrite it's not even funny anymore.**_

"When are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Sylvira sighed when the rogue scowled and stubbornly kept up her cold treatment, "Look, I've been trying and I can't figure it out, unless..." The corner of her lips quirked up in an amused smirk and she snapped her fingers, "Ah hah! Now I've figured it out!" _Huh? I didn't do nothing,_ " **You** don't know either!" She glanced down at Sera's submerged thighs, "Perhaps Aunt Flo's gonna visit you soon. Give me a fucking warning this time so I can run the hell away, I don't like getting smacked over cramps." _Friggin' get a clue already, idiot!_

"Shut up," the archer grabbed and emptied out one of the buckets to toss at Lavellan who immediately ducked in the water and dodged the deadly projectile. When her mouth broke the surface her lips spread in a large shit-eating grin, "And wipe that look off yer face!" Sera reached over for another bucket and threw it, huffing angrily when the mage simply stopped the object in the air and safely levitated it back on the stone slab.

"I don't understand what your problem is," Sylvira turned as she rose and dried her hands then searched for something in her satchel, _fuck she's_ _gotta_ _be teasing like this on purpose. Flaunting the goods after makin' all sortsa promises._ The mage sat back on the immersed stone bench and grabbed one of the cloths floating in the water, "It's not everyday we get to enjoy a nice hot soak in a bathhouse like this. They kicked out the annoying pamper people with greasy and oily hands," _ugh, gross,_ "Boiled the water and prepared all of this just for us." _Well Bull paid out his pocket but she's got a point,_ Sera couldn't help but frown and the woman mirrored it, "Are you upset because you won't be glistening after all?" The rogue shot a dirty look and Lavellan chuckled, "Or because it was done for us? It's not like I'm leveraging my status for this, it's all paid for in fair clinking coin." _She seriously has no_ _idea_ _. After all that talk too…_ _Maybe she changed her mind again? Shit I can't keep up anymore._

"Y'know even if it's paid they wouldn't have given us all this free stuff or boil the water, they wanna impress ya."

"Color me impressed then. That just means they know how to do good business and satisfy their customers."

"Quit playing stupid. I meant coz of the inquisitorialness pish and y'know it," the rogue looked at the water and guilt welled up in her, _not many people lucky to bathe, period. It wrong for me to like it this much?_ Both womens' ears perked when they heard distant noises but paid no mind to look over, her head snapped up when Lavellan gave a shrug and rotated her torso to reach for the container she'd pulled from her satchel, _guess it's no_ _big deal_ _if she_ _don't look worried_ _,_ "What's that?"

"This? Here," the mage tossed it over and Sera caught then opened it out of curiosity, _hey this smells like-_ "It's the mango thing. I decided to experiment with a new mixture but instead of an ointment I made a scrub." _A scrub?_ The archer dipped her finger and swiped to collect a little bit, inspecting the tiny little pebbles embedded in the thickened cream as she half-tuned out Sylvira of whatever it was she was explaining, _something 'bout powder and crushing_. _S_ _tings like a bitch if it gets in the eyes huh? I'll havta remember that so I can smear it on her_ _,_ she lifted and sniffed, her irritation gradually fading away at the comforting scent. "I could make some for you, if you're interested. Limited time offer, one of the many special services I save only for you."

"Huh?" Sera shook her head and chuckled, "Didn't listen to a word you were saying." _Not the kinda special service I want, either._

"I could tell," Lavellan had a coy smirk when the archer challenged that knowledge with a skeptical expression, "You look at me like that, but you completely zoned out while I talked about a naughty fantasy." _What?_ _Seriously?_ The dalish woman laughed at her dumbfounded gaping and Sera huffed as she tossed the container back, _stupid tricks._ "Just kidding, should've seen the look on your face. Anyways do you want me to make some for you or not? Can come with me to the kitchen and we can make something for a prank while we're at it too."

 _She makes this stuff in the kitchen?_ The rogue's head tilted and she snickered at the mental image of Sylvira with an apron slaving away over a pot, mixing by herself with cream exploding everywhere, _sight to see I bet, yeah._ She shrugged, "I don't really use this crap like you do though." _And I like it when it's just you that smells this way, don't wanna get used to it if it's on me._ Lavellan's lips spread into a smug smirk, _of course_ _she's got that look._

"But you like the way it smells," the mage's smirk grew and her half-lidded eyes made Sera's stomach stir, _fuck, now of all times?_ "Yet you only prefer if it's on me, hm?" _Always figures this crap out too easily, and how's she so fuckin' laid back right now?  
_

"Shut up, Syl." _She heard it too didn't she?_

"I could make a different one for you then, it's not fair that you get all the fun. I want to pretend I'm cold as an excuse to wear a scented shirt too," _oi I really was cold that time,_ _I ain't weird like you._ Sylvira rose from the water and the archer cursed her, a sharp inhale and creaks resounded inside the bathhouse, _the fuck is she doing?!_ Taking the cloth and scrub, the mage waded over thigh-deep in the water, _so damn tall,_ "Turn around, I'll wash your back." _Huh?_ Sera nodded and slowly turned, careful not to make any sudden movements as she trained her eyes on the stone stairs, "Annoying," Lavellan whispered quietly so only she could hear, "Someone's always trying to kill me every five minutes. Am I not allowed to take a fucking bath? It's like it's a fucking sin to indulge myself in a steamy fantasy here."

"Heh," the rogue snickered then glanced over her left shoulder, her eyes briefly checking the entrance, _fuckers opened the creaky-arse door without makin' noise, they're good._ "Better luck next time. Karma kickin' yer arse." _They coulda killed us any time earlier, they wanna kidnap us or somethin'?_ She inwardly groaned, _again with Syl and being captured,_ _new hobby of hers._ "Weapons underneath my stuff, luv."

"I know. I'm thinking," Sylvira drenched the cloth then twisted it, she handed the container to the archer to hold as she dipped her hand inside and smeared the scrub on. _Told her I didn't want any and she friggin' does it anyways,_ as nonchalantly as possible to pretend the two weren't aware, the dalish woman began scrubbing Sera's back with the cloth, _fuck…_ Her stomach stirred again and little tingles traveled along her skin, _it's a fucking cloth!_ "Whoever these assassins are -most likely Venatori sent by Vicinius, fucking traitorous bastard- they're men. Sounds like maybe two or three of them."

"What?" The mage's powers of observation never ceased to amaze her, _heard the bowstring and two daggers hitting belts but nothin'_ _on them being a_ _dickhead or bitch. N_ _o tricks and she figures it out anyways, just what the fuck does she do?_ "How d'ya know?"

A shrug, "They haven't attacked us yet, right?"

"Coz they might wanna take us alive, think 'bout that?"

"You heard the sounds and the inhale," the archer could _hear_ the smug grin on Lavellan's face, "They're enjoying themselves, naturally. I would too if there were two naked women, especially when one of them possesses," she lilted teasingly and Sera rolled her eyes, "Exotic beauty." _I'm never gonna hear the end of it now, big fat head's gonna take this to her freaking grave._ "We could net some extra coin if we charge for admission. Care to give them the last show they'll ever see?"

"Seriously." Sera couldn't help the deadpan inquiry and her frustration surfaced once more, suffering from both sexual and idiot tension, "How the fuck are you thinking 'bout that instead of a way we can-"

"I'll cause a distraction while you run for your weapons. As soon as they show themselves they're fucked," the cloth had been abandoned and the rogue shuddered when she felt smooth hands swipe to rinse the scrub off her back. "Not the way they'd like," Sylvira leaned forward and pressed a tender kiss along the top ridge of Sera's shoulder blade, "Are you ready? Just leave one at least half alive for questioning," _t_ _ease me like this any more and I'm gonna fucking jump you after these pricks are dead._ The archer nodded and gave a slight shrug of her shoulders to warm them up for action, "Hand me the bucket in front of you," _the heck's she gonna do with a bucket?_ "Make sure you kill them away from the bathwater, bathing in blood is not a particular fantasy of mine."

"'Kay there's no fucking way we're washing with a buncha dead guys 'round us either," Sera leaned forward and clenched her jaw when she felt soft lips pressed to the middle of her spine, _she don't havta act anymore, she's teasing on fucking purpose now._ Suppressing the shiver, she reached for the bucket and rotated her torso as she glared at the cheeky woman, "We kill 'em and get the fuck outta here."

"But I still want to wash you," _what the fuck is with her and her weird arse fantasies? Fuck,_ the archer ignored the pang reminding her of the slight ache between her thighs, _what the frig's with me for liking it too?_

"Better luck next time," she cursed her hoarse voice and turned back, her eyes trained on the pile of clothes laying on top of her bow straight ahead, "Buy me time to climb out and sprint over."

"How much, six seconds?" A nod, Lavellan carefully rose from the water so as not to rouse suspicion and whispered, "Go." Dumping out the contents of linen from the small bucket, the mage turned and rose her arms in the air as Sera clambered out to sprint for her stuff, "What do you boys think of my girls, nice rack am I right?!" _WHAT THE FUCK!_ The archer groaned as she ripped the pile of clothes off her bow and pulled an arrow out, _who the hell uses their fucking tits as a distraction_ _like that_ _?!_ "You ought to thank us," Sera whirled around and aimed for the marksman who rounded the corner he had hidden behind earlier, _shit!_ He'd already shot off his arrow, _not good!_ Just before the arrow met it's mark, a bucket suddenly levitated in front of her face and Sera winced instinctively when the assassin's arrow tore into the improvised shield, _holy fuck, too close._ She gaped at the protruding arrowhead in bewilderment until the bucket suddenly dropped, Sylvira rose her fist in the air and swept her arms downwards, crushing the marksman under the immense gravity. Sera twisted and released her arrow for the harlequin closest to the mage, whooping loudly when it'd sank into the head.

Both women glared at the last assassin who'd been on the other end of the bath with nothing but a dagger, the masked intruder glanced over his shoulder at the exit then back at the two elvenized rage demons before him. "Answer my questions and I'll let you live," Sera smirked and the two exchanged glances from the corners of their eyes, well aware what the other was thinking, _you will. I won't._ "Did Vicinius send you?" _Why'd he send if he wanted to meet Syl?_ The assassin gulped then nodded, something about his demeanor struck the rogue as odd and she shifted closer to the pool, hoping Lavellan would somehow understand her. _Can't this loser sit in the water so her tits ain't flopping 'round? Arsehole's probly not even_ _really_ _listening to her._ "Are there others waiting at his house?" Another nod, the mage turned around and blinked at Sera to give her the signal and honor, _'bout time._ She anchored the arrow and the masked man panicked while Sylvira lilted cheerfully, "You've got a sweet deal, I'm jealous. A nice show, an eyeful of beautiful naked women," _ugh,_ the dalish woman's face darkened within an instant as she growled out her last words, the assassin sharply turned on his heel in an attempt to scramble away, "And a quick death." Within the same instant Sera released, the arrow naturally found it's mark in the assassin's head.

"I really can't wash you before we leave?" The mage pouted when Sera shot a deadpan look, she waded through the water and reluctantly climbed out as she gradually collected her clothes, "How annoying."

"All the more reason to make a house call and pay the arsehole back, right?" The rogue went back to the pile she'd left and wrestled on her clothes, her body still damp and sticky from the steam, _so much for washing._ _Someone's gonna get a nasty surprise when they walk in and find all this crap, oh well._ _Fancy tits always killing each other over stupid pish anyways._

"Got that right, though we'll need to be careful when we go. Something tells me that guy wasn't actually listening while his head was moving."

"Well no shit, you had yer hands on your hips and flashing your titties like it's Satinalia morning. His other head was moving too."

"Ooh~ so..." _Ugh know that tone, fulla herself again,_ "You consider them gifts, do you? Shall I wrap them up and tie a bow like presents?" _She better not be into that bondage shite. Ugh who m'I tryna kid..._

"Shut up and hurry up. Wanna put an arrow in this prick's head already," after fastening her quiver and strapping the daggers nice and snug, Sera turned around and crossed her arms, "We gonna go get Bull and Moustache?"

"No," the woman's face darkened and she seethed warningly, "And don't argue about it."

"Why ain't we getting them?"

"Let me make that extra clear, when I said 'don't argue about it' I also implied 'it's not up for discussion'," _fuck I'm just curious is all… Whatever, she's just pissed coz she ain't getting handsy in stupid water, why can't we frig like normal already?_ After she'd furiously rubbed the ends of her damp hair, Lavellan whipped and shook her head to dry out the rest in between dressing. "Alright," she smoothed her fingers through her hair and winced when they'd caught knots, she gave one last shake and flicked it over her shoulders, "Let's go bring the greeting party over and give Vicinius a _proper_ introduction." _Arrows._

* * *

"Yup, uh huh..." Sylvira rose her hand to signal the archer to stop and glanced over her shoulder, "No doubt about it." She flipped and pointed her middle finger towards the door, "My asshole detector is tingling."

"Well no shit, there's bound to be more assassins, yeah?"

"I meant a mage," _ugh of course it's gotta be a fucking mage,_ "He'll have sensed me too, probably, unless..." The woman lifted her bandaged hand and studied it with a thoughtful expression, "I could use this to throw him off, since he probably feels the energy from this. Something familiar to him, and if that's the case," _I'm lost. Whatever,_ "Give me a moment," Lavellan grinned smugly, "I know exactly how to lure them out."

"Why not just-" her head tilted in confusion when the mage waved her hand and shushed her, _the heck? Why's it always gotta be traps and plans when arrows work too?_ She crossed her arms and pursed her lips to stifle her laughter as she watched Sylvira draw a pattern on the floor with her feet quickly and precisely, _yup, definitely looks like a dumbass._ Though she'd been captivated and amused by the unexpected grace the woman always reserved for _rubbish_ runes, she had to look away so as not to risk detection by cackling at the ridiculousness of it all. With the rune set and glowing lines of different colors shining bright in the dead of the night, the mage stepped back and waggled her eyebrows playfully as she whispered.

"Watch this. I know what every Venatori fantasizes about and they'll come running in no time," _uh huh. Sure._ Taking a deep breath, Lavellan shouted loudly when she looked down the left and past the archer, "OH SHIT IT'S CORYPHELUS!" _WHAT?!_ Sera's head snapped to the direction the woman was looking, her heart thumping loudly and blood rushing to her ears until her sudden high crashed just as swiftly, _this fucking loser._ She turned and glared at the smug mage who simply pointed to the door and murmured, "Watch, they'll come any second now, squealing like fans." _Yep, I believe her._ They both stared at the door and Sera hadn't even bothered taking an arrow out, already knowing what was going to happen.

Nothing.

 _Not._ The rogue smirked sarcastically and shot another dirty look as Lavellan waited with bated breath, a lone sweat drop trailed down the side of her face as the powerful rune already began to take it's toll on her. "Yup. Lots of squealing and excitement luv," she teased playfully and chuckled when she noted the woman's eye twitch, "Yer sucha smart cookie, knowin' _exactly_ what they fantasize about." She patted the mage's shoulder in mocking reassurance, "Miss know-it-all's prediction was wrong, whatta surprise. Not." Another twitch and she grinned mischievously, _bet it pisses her off she can't trick everybody, friggin' lame trick too. Not even a kid's dumb enough to fall for this._ Suddenly Sylvira shrugged off the hand on her shoulder and stepped back as her hands hooked on the rim of her shirt then pulled it off, the rogue's eyes widened and she couldn't help but exclaim loudly, "Oi what the fuck are you doing Syl?!" _The hell's this tit doing?!_ The mage shrugged nonchalantly and worked on her belt next then casually hooked her thumbs on the waistband of her breeches, "Quit stripping naked you stupid fucking idiot!" Jealousy and anger rising at the prospect of nearly everyone seeing  her goods being casually flaunted around, Sera did the only thing she could think of doing. She anchored her arrow and pointed it at the mage as she threatened menacingly, "Put your clothes on **right fucking now** , or yer getting an arrow up your arse."

Door swinging open, the startled archer reacted quickly as she rotated her torso and let the arrow loose, missing the way Sylvira smirked confidently and clicked her heels on the ground as she snapped her fingers in perfect synchrony. The rune detonated and caught the Venatori zealots and spellbinder by surprise, the area of which the pattern was drawn pulled and slammed them into the ground as it simultaneously crushed all of their bones at once. Sickening crunches resounded in the air and Sera gaped incredulously as Lavellan casually dusted off her palms then redressed, carefully stepping over the pile of deformed bodies as she entered the eerie house. _That was…_ "Uh…" The archer took out another arrow as she followed with caution, ready in case if there'd been more enemies lying in wait, "What was that?" _All clear, they all fucking came just like that?_

"Told you I know what every Venatori fantasizes about," Sylvira grinned cheekily as she glanced over her shoulder, "Needed to strip for real so they could hear the panic and anger in your voice." _Tricked me again, friggin' bitch._

"Arse."

"Bosom."

"Dick."

"I was hoping for a battle of wits," Sera rolled her eyes and the mage drew a pattern for fire in her palm, "But you appear to be unarmed." _Oh it's so on, this arse is going down!_

"Y'know Syl, you've got one **really** annoying habit that I can't fuckin' stand," when the small flame came to life the two looked around the trashed and dim-lit house, "Breathing. And what the fuck happened in here? Looks like people frigged all over the place or somethin'."

"Wasn't me," _no shit me too, s'posto be though._ "Something reeks and it's not me either," _woops hehehe..._ They cautiously moved through the room and double-checked every shadow before moving to the stairs, "Keep your guard up." _Always._

"That's it? Did I win the battle that easily?"

"Don't interrupt me while I'm ignoring you."

"Arse."

"Bosom." The archer shoved Lavellan by the shoulder and snickered, _who the heck says 'bosom' insteada tits anyways? Weirdo._ After they'd reached the top of the stairs they slowly went down the hallway and both their noses wrinkled, "Ugh, just what the fuck is that smell?"

"Not me this time," Sera grinned when the woman looked over with a raised eyebrow, _uh huh, now she knows what it was earlier._ As they neared the end of the hallway she gave a shrug of her shoulders to warm them up and readied herself to pull the bowstring, "Got a bad feeling 'bout this luv. Fuckin' creepy, this. S'like Varric's shitty horror stories." Sylvira glanced over as she lit one of the braziers along the wall, her eyes danced to and fro as the brazier fire lit up the hallway, _ugh._

"Hey they aren't shitty, I read them all the time," _is she fucking serious right now?_ "He writes good shit."

"Shit is shit Syl, putting sugar on shit doesn't make it a fucking brownie."

"Ooh~ I could go for that right now."

"Eww no, the fuck's wrong with you?"

"I meant the brownie not the sugar on shit, what the fuck is wrong with **you**?"

"Oh," Sera snickered, her retort promptly died on her lips when the small flame in the woman's palm illuminated the room they stepped in, _what the fuck?!_ Her stomach churned with overpowering nausea, her arrow fell to the ground with a clatter and her hand clamped over her mouth. _Just pieces and meat left._

"Well… Shit." _Biggest fucking understatement._ Lavellan's face twisted and she looked away as she composed herself, "Not in the mood to eat for a fucking week now." _Only a fucking week? Ready to lose a whole month's worth._ The merchant Vicinius -or rather what was left of him- had his hands tied behind his back as he slumped on the chair. There were long pieces of nails driven into his head, the thick puddle of dried and glue-like blood had stained both everything below and the wall behind him. "Sick fucks. Bet the sorry bastard regrets keeping a hammer and nails like that now. Venatori probably enjoyed the way he twitched with-"

"Don't fucking talk 'bout it!" The archer muffled beneath her palm and wretched miserably as she turned around, _shit this is so frigging messed up._ She heard the familiar boot clicks and had been eternally grateful when Sylvira rubbed her back soothingly with her free hand, Sera's eyes squeezed shut and the vivid horrifying image burned into her mind surfaced, she couldn't hold it in anymore. "Syl," she gulped heavily and immediately regretted it when the smell of blood assaulted her senses, "Can't do this."

"Go outside and grab some fresh air, use this opportunity," _how's this a fucking 'opportunity'?!_ "To puke in some noble asshole's bushes," _hey_ _that's not such a bad idea, I guess._ Her insides twisted and the mage patted her back, "I'm going to take a look around and see what I can find here," _how the fuck can she always stand this shit? I'll never get that,_ "Burn any evidence too," _evidence?_ "Need help making it out?" Sera shook her head and picked up the arrow that fell on the ground, she'd raced down the hallway and stairs all too eagerly, _fuck that not staying a second longer if I don't havta._ The moment she'd leaped over the Venatori corpses blocking the doorway, she'd raced to the railing and emptied out the contents in the water, _fucking hate puking._ She grimaced as warm wave after wave forced up her throat, _never thought I'd say it..._ After she'd expelled everything her body couldn't hold in, she slackened against the railing and rubbed the sweat off the back of her neck, inhaling as much fresh air as her lungs would allow her, _but thank friggin' Andraste I did this time. Feel so much better now._ She hesitantly glanced over her shoulder and guilt welled up in her as she stared at the desk littered with papers beyond the corpses, _should be in there with her._

 _ **Burn any evidence too.**_

 _That why she didn't want Bull or Moustache here?_ Her eyebrows furrowed, _saw couple lists on food and coin 'shipments' on the desk, but only knew the prick's a slaver coz of what Syl said back when she filled me in at Skyhold._ She let out a heavy sigh, "Fuck," she murmured and raked her hand through her hair, _she probly knew the guy if he was the one,_ her stomach churned again, _that sold her off to the friggin' markets._ She mulled on the decision of going inside and helping or not, _I'll just puke again,_ she reasoned to sate her trouble conscience, _and Syl would get angry if I found shite 'bout her, maybe._ The longer she stalled as she thought, the more guilt gnawed on her as the time passed. She looked up at the night sky, watching as her breaths puffed and rose in the air, shivering when the chill slowly burrowed in to her muscles. _Wonder how she got away from slavery?  
_

 _ **I was left for wolves to have a nice bony meal when I was a kid, dunno how old. Maybe ten? Doesn't really matter. Anyways long story short, joined up with the Mages' Collective, end of story.**_

 _But she said her first job was when she was thirteen,_ she rubbed her temples as her head started to ache, she knew the only she'd figure things out was on her own. _Syl would rather die than admit it, probly, unless she switches off and she can't do that no more. Ain't right._

 _ **...oh the irony from where I've come and what I had to do as part of the 'job'.**_

"Hey," Sera jumped when she'd been abruptly snapped from her reverie as a hand fell on her shoulder, she glanced over and inspected the sullen mage's face with concern. The citron eyes that usually danced with mischief had dulled and took on the more yellowy hue, the melodic accent fell flat and monotone, _she's switched off again…_ "Feeling better now?" _Fuckin' creepy when she sounds like that,_ Sera nodded slowly and she'd been relieved when the corners of the woman's lips quirked up in a tired smile, however forced it may be it was still better than being blank and emotionless. "Come on, let's head back to the inn and drown ourselves in rum." _Best thing I've heard in a while, needa forget that fucked up shite. Looks like she needs it too.  
_

"Fuckin' A."

* * *

Feet kicked up on the desk and ankles crossed, Sylvira swirled the rum in her glass and played with the smoke rising in the air from the pipe, her finger tracing random shapes or letters as she shot tiny gusts of wind through. She balanced on the hind legs of the chair as she rocked back and forth, stealing glances at the passed out woman on the bed every now and then. She'd effectively distracted Sera and smoothly changed topics when the archer idly inquired what the lie about the kids going to Jader was for, _because I don't want to die just yet,_ and what Lavellan found in Vicinius's home, _because she doesn't need to know details_. She played with one of the bright blue crystal shards she'd found and hummed softly, _know I've seen one of these before, the energy stored inside feels familiar too. What the hell is it though?_ As promised, every paper she'd found was collected into a small pile and promptly burned, stashing a few in her satchel that implicated Calpernia's deal with the merchant to send literate slaves. _Why literate?_ Her eyebrows furrowed, _she wants to free slaves, here she is only asking for ones that can read, and dealing under the table. Does she want to hide something from Corypheus then?  
_

Head snapping to the light groan from the bed, her mouth curled in a small smirk when Sera mumbled incoherently as she rolled to the other side and face the mage, _always fun to see this side of her._ She carefully stashed the crystal shard in the satchel hanging on the chair and plucked the pipe from her mouth as she sipped her rum, her arms fell and loosely hung at her sides as she gazed up at the ceiling in deep thought. _Perhaps Cally has a thing for me and buying slaves like me to fulfill her own fantasies,_ she chuckled quietly at that, _a whole harem of perverted elves, I'm almost jealous._ Another groan, the rogue mumbled again and stirred, the razor sharp slits shining in the dim room like little candles as Sera blinked sleepily, _but I've got something way better than that,_ "Syl?"

"Mm?"

"Aren'tcha gonna come sleep?" _Her sleepy voice always gets me no matter what._

"Yeah," Sylvira carefully lowered her chair so as not to make any loud noises and irritate the exhausted archer, she chugged the rest of her rum and cleaned out her pipe before she rose from the desk. She wrestled off her boots and shirt as she made way for the bed, "Couldn't wait for me to wrap my exotically beautiful arms around you, did you?"

"Shut up," Sera scoffed and rolled back on her other side as the mage lifted the blankets then tucked in behind her, "Need all the sleep you can get before we go back to those _noble_ losers."

"They're not so bad you know, give 'em a break they've had a tough time."

"A _tough time_ for a noble," the archer sneered bitterly, "Is when they gotta use their own hands and do every single thing themselves insteada servants." _Wow that's kind of scary how accurate she is actually.  
_

"Does that mean you read the reports about what happened with this family?"

"Huh?" Sera rotated her torso and glanced over her shoulder, "The heck you talking about?"

"I assumed that's why you took all the reports that were in the pile with the tip on Arlessa," Lavellan shrugged, "Guess not then."

"Nah, I lost them somewhere in my room," _oh perfect. Incredibly sensitive information just casually lost, you know. No big deal._ "So what happened then?"

"I don't know everything but the house pretty much screamed it at me when we entered," Sylvira rose on her elbow and shuffled a little bit when the rogue turned to lay on her back, "When I confirmed those two were in fact Grâce's parents, I asked Leliana to do her usual thing and dig up more on their history. According to the finances after Grâce's disappearance and kidnapping, they'd lost their business and every single servant left the household within a week."

"So? They got pissed, probly started being dicks and drank their coin away or took it out on the servants." _Of course she'd assume the worst, all nobles are automatically degenerate pigs in her eyes._

"Not the case, contrary to your popular belief," Lavellan shrugged when the razor sharp slits narrowed and flashed warningly, "They spent every copper buying information and hiring people to help search for their daughter. They gave up everything Sera," she frowned when the archer didn't seem to budge on her stance, "Do you know why they hadn't worn their masks, despite Orlesian custom and necessity to do so? Anyone even with an untrained eye can tell a cheap mask very easily and that alone would prove their status, something they were obviously embarrassed doing just because I'm the _'Inquisitor'_. The chandelier was exaggeratedly -almost painfully obvious- fake, the chairs were fake since first of all goldsmiths know to do a better job and second of all Orlesians are lazy fucks who'd assassinate the craftsman for making heavy ass chairs. They had 'trouble lighting the fire', they made their own dinner and stuck to  common delicacies, I could go on and on about all sorts of facts even you can't deny."

"And? The fuck you trying to prove with this Syl?"

"That not all nobles are heartless pricks," irritation crawled along her nerves when the archer scoffed, "Can you get over your fucking hatred and baseless beliefs or are you going to be miserably bitter, acting out petty revenge fantasies all your life? You don't know every noble but you **know** not every noble's a dick."

"You don't fucking know me. Better shut up before you say somethin' you regret," Sera warned and the mage groaned, _why is she so fucking stubborn?_

"Look at me," Sylvira sat up and confidently met the angry gaze, "When we met, you assumed I was one of the dalish pretenders frolicking in the forest. You gave me the hardest fucking time in the beginning over it too, despite not even bothering to confirm the truth until it'd been handed to you on a golden platter. Now look? You found out that I'm not a pretender and I'm not so bad." _Should've said_ _as_ _bad, she'll just say that's my pride rather than admitting it's fact._ _One lousy fucking word and oh yep there's the spiteful look, I've crashed and burned._ _One word. New record._

"Yeah, I sure did," _Sera's vocabulary: 50% swearing mixed with 50% sarcasm, sprinkled with irrational feelings all to create 100% bullshit. I'll need to remember this recipe._ The rogue grabbed the pelts and rolled on her side, her back facing Lavellan as she goaded, "Not a noble and not a _real_ elfy elf," _she's trying to imply the pretenders are true elvhen, is this a fucking joke or what?_ "Not so~ bad, nope. You're **worse** than both of them together. You're a fuckin' jerk through and through, Syl." _F_ _uck this,_ _a_ _ll she's doing is fighting just for the sake of shoving it in my face._ _It_ _'d kill her to just admit -for once- that she agrees Ophelia and Alfred aren't so bad_ _after all._

"Right," the woman slid back out of bed then collected her shirt and boots, "Sorry, I forgot." Snatching her satchel and pipe she head for the door, "Forgot that nothing is ever your fucking fault and you're never fucking wrong. An amateur mistake of mine, I should've known. Pathetic," she spat bitterly, "Considering how long we've been friends, something as basic as that is common knowledge even to strangers. I'll try to remember that next time," she opened the heavy door and didn't bother looking over her shoulder, her raw anger crawled along her skin at Sera's silence and she desperately wanted it gone. _T_ _ime to find the dirtiest bar with Val Royeaux's degenerates and slum with rats, feel right at home._ "I'll see you at the stables later," her voice dripped with venom, "I'm picking up Uvun by  myself." _Useless_ _drama, she's the only one this shit happens with_ _and we're not even dating_ _._ She stormed out into the hallway, her boiling blood simmered and her anger dissipated at the faint sounds of crashing behind her, _probably threw and shattere_ _d shit, no surprise_ _. Whatever she's got coin to pay for compensation, not like she actually fucking will._ _Fuck I needa smoke before I lose it,_ shoving the pipe in her mouth, she fished in her satchel for the container of elfroot and groaned when realization dawned on her, _Sera carries my matches._

Knowing that returning would further increase the 100% chance of agonizing torture, Lavellan instead pulled out her guide and searched for the lists of both popular bars and ones advised to be avoided at all costs. _Everybody is always trying to kill me_ _anyways_ _, might as well go somewhere where they'll have the balls to show their face instead of lurking in the shadows._ "They always say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger," she murmured under her breath as she found the advised list, "At this point I should be able to bench a fucking dragon." She pulled out her map of Val Royeaux as she stood beneath a lantern to find her chosen bar, _besides danger is where all the fun is at, and playing cards will be interesting_. Shoving everything back in her satchel and her hands in her pockets, she whistled a bouncy tune as she walked the empty streets of the night, watching as her breath rose in the cold air.

 _Don't need Sera at all._ Her heart faltered as she gazed at the night sky filled to the brim with stars, something within her felt like it had been begging to be released, the feeling demanded recognition and she simply pushed it farther back as she ignored it. _Point proven,_ she sighed when she'd glanced behind her by chance, something suddenly moved to hide in the shadows and she raked her hand through her tangled hair, "Listen up asshole!" She shouted so the presence tailing her would hear loud and clear, "I had two helpings of flaming bitch for a snack half an hour ago, Corypheus himself won't even fuck with me!" The presence wisely listened to her and she heard the sounds of boots echoing as whoever it was ran away, _probably a pickpocket thinking I'm an easy mark, idiot. Well, smart now, for leaving me the fuck alone._

Later as she found the bar and shoved the doors open, she strode to the bartender and ordered a bottle of rum, sitting comfortably on the stool and ignoring the sneering whispers of patrons and thugs around, _they don't know who I am. Perfect_ _it's_ _exactly what I wanted,_ she glanced down the counter and smirked smugly when she'd overheard one of the men casually insulting her, _probably to prove how 'manly' and 'tough' he is, I'll change that fast_ _and show_ _that to him it's not just 'bitch', but 'boss bitch'._ "Shut up," she barked confidently and nodded when the bartender brought her drink, she idly filled her mug as she shot her own insult back. "I wear boots with heels that are bigger than your dick," the man's friends cackled like hyenas yet he himself turned red in the face. Whether it be rage or embarrassment who knew, but that alone started one hell of a party as Lavellan earned the respect through sarcastic jabs as she out-drank the self-proclaimed champions under the table over the next hour. _B_ _attling the Champion of Kirkwall proved useful after all,_ she relaxed on the stool as she collected bet money, looking at several unconscious patrons lying in their own vomit until she hiccuped. _Looks like I've_ _reached my limit before descending to plain stupidity_ _, should find another inn for the night. Any more and I'll find myself in a ditch sooner than I'd like,_ she tipped the barkeeper and slurred her goodbyes to whoever surprisingly remained awake and referenced her map for the nearest place to stay.

Though in her mind's eye things seemed relatively okay, Sylvira hadn't realized she'd been swaying and hiccuping more than she assumed she had. _Dangerous,_ she thought idly, _fun night out ain't worth my life,_ frustration gnawed on her temper every time her mind wandered back to Sera. _Even drinking was more appealing than the hot_ _bartender_ _, now I know I'm whipped. Fuck,_ when she stumbled into the inn she hadn't cared how much the costs were and simply slammed the entire coin purse on the counter, the owner's eyes bulged out and Lavellan snapped irritably, "Never seen coin before or what? Bring me to a fucking room already will ya?" The man mumbled his apologies as he lead her down the hallway and to a spare room, she slammed the door shut and rammed all the locks in place immediately. Ripping off her satchel and tossing it to the night table, she fell on the bed without bothering to take her boots or clothes off. _Probably only have time for a nap,_ she looked outside the window as dull moonlight filtered in, _three, maybe four A.M.?_ Her eyes momentarily fell on the empty spot beside her on the expansive bed, and the feeling she'd been desperately trying to keep back overpowered her and surfaced to the forefront of her mind.

 _ **I'm picking up Uvun by myself.**_

 _Don't need_ _Sera_ _._ She blindly fumbled for her journal in her satchel and carefully unwrapped the cloth covering the piece of lead, she opened to a random blank page and absent-mindlessly scribbled her thoughts down. _Don't_ _need_ _her at all._ _Never had to before, don't need to now._

 ** _T_ _rust nobody but yourself._**

 _It's the right thing to do, the right way, the only reason I'm still alive today after all. So why does the very idea feel so wrong now?_ Out of frustration she threw the journal and cloth-wrapped lead on the ground as she fell on the bed with a huff, she rolled on her stomach and shifted to the other end of the bed. She buried her face in the pillows and her heart wrenched painfully, _I've never felt more miserable than this in my entire life. Why?_ She turned her head and looked at the stars beyond the window, _what a lousy fucking argument for_ _absolutely_ _no_ _logical_ _reason,_ she stared at the moon until her eyelids fluttered shut and drifted off to sleep. _Fuck feelings._

* * *

 _9:41 Dragon Matrinalis_ _Moanday 3_ _rd_

 _Sadness stabbed me like a dagger in the back. At 4 A.M. my only trusted companions are the demons inside my head and the loneliness inside my bed._


	16. Let the Trees Hear the Heart's Song

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** So I'm a _really big friggin'_ idiot, I accidentally lent a friend the USB with the new chapters for Ena and Terra (and the draft with Fen Q_Q), as soon as I get it back those chapters will be up, but for now here's Syl's. Hope everyone had an awesome first day at school :D! Also, thank you very much for all the kind reviews and your patience, I know the story's been a bit of a rough ride so thanks for sticking around!

 **Warning:** Okay, I'm relatively confident that this chapter is the end of the angst ride, for I'm running out of drama ideas (that is until later down the road) and now have nothing but ways to troll our fellow elves :P So! The warning here is that the majority of the chapter is angst-filled (I wish fanfiction had three tags so that I could actually add angst or drama among the mix). However, it does end on a good note, hold on for a bit longer!

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Ir abelas:_ I'm sorry

 _Madhlea:_ My light [in the] night. Emma (my) + Dhea (morning/night's darkness) + Lea (light/glitter/shine). As always with much of elvhen being symbolic interpretation, apart from how I intend it to mean "My light in the night", Sylvira is essentially implying, "You ward off the dark"

* * *

 **Let the Trees Hear the Heart's Song**

* * *

Head bowed, the young girl stood and waited for her punishment. Her gaze glued to the floor as she mumbled in shame, "I'm sorry, Master." This was it, she'd be lashed, sent to another household again. She was used to it, it'd been nothing new but this was the first time she'd have slighted her patron and she wasn't quite sure what would happen. Instead, her head snapped up, the Magister let out a low sigh and he had his owl-like frown as he calmly closed his grimoire.

"Why did the spell fail? That pattern should have been easy for you to draw."

No answer, her gaze fell back to the floor and failure welled up within her, she mumbled in shame again, "I'm sorry, Master." She still expected the belt buckles whipped against her knuckles over this, perhaps not by her temperate patron but by the dwarven steward Sporka as such often happened over lesser things when she'd accidentally disturbed sensitive wards or experiments. It'd have been easier to avoid if the Magister hadn't laid it out everywhere in a mess, but such was the life she's been condemned to because of magic. It'd been ironic to her that now magic was both her doom and her savior.

Another sigh, she winced and her heart squeezed painfully, disappointment was clear and she'd felt guilty for upsetting the one patron that had actually been tolerant of her magic. "We will try again later," the Magister set the grimoire aside and rose from his seat after some time, his bad back and lungs often made such movement more difficult than usual. He strode forward and the girl waited, flinching when his shadow loomed over her and reminded her of haunting memories of one of the cooks. Afraid she'd offend, she desperately willed her face to be blank as such facial expressions earned a tongue thrashing and belt whipping itself, or repulsive touches in the hands of more unpleasant and degraded company. The Magister paid no mind as such as he gingerly cupped her left wrist and rose her arm, rolling up the sleeve as he inspected the bright blue glowing lines engraved from the tips of her fingers to the front of her shoulder. "One last layer of binding and the set will be complete, you shouldn't experience any more side effects and the energy will be contained. Come to my bedroom tonight and we will finish the rune."

"Yes, Master." The man rolled her sleeve back and walked to the chair that was set near the unlit fireplace, sitting down slowly and facing away from the young girl. She bowed her head and waited patiently for the instruction and command, you weren't allowed to move a muscle and you'd have to pray you weren't forgotten, or your very existence was ignored. Thankfully, as the Magister delved into his dusty tome regarding the Old Gods, he glanced over his shoulder by chance and remembered of the young girl's presence. Unfortunately, it wasn't the command she'd been waiting for and she figured it had only been because of the Magister's difficulty reading the tome.

Soon enough she was forgotten once again after fulfilling her Master's wishes. "Light a lamp for me, would you, Sylvira? Everything's so dark."

Shooting up, Lavellan gasped and heaved for air as she'd wiped her forehead and the back of her neck slick with sweat. _Again,_ she brought her one leg up to her chest as she rested her aching forehead on her knee, _that dream again, they're happening more often now._ She looked up and took stock of the sunlight filtering in through the window, the only source of light that illuminated the incredibly trashed room as her things scattered and haphazardly laid about. _Shit I don't remember letting myself go like_ _this __last night unless,_ she inspected her left arm and rolled up her sleeves, her fingers glided along the skin as she tuned in to the sensations. _Traces of energy, fucking brand and constant nullification. And my own_ _experiments haven't helped me figure out what the rune does, what the fuck was the Magister trying to achieve with such useless patterns?_

With a heavy sigh she swung her legs over the edge of the bed, she hunched over and buried her face in her palms then ran her hands to smooth her hair back, wincing when the bandages caught and pulled. "Fuck," she spat bitterly, "Precious time is the one thing I don't fucking have and I need it." _Corypheus will not stop and wait, I have no choice but to push my body harder before my mind unravels. I don't intend to be a drooling lunatic, but!_ _First things first,_ she rose from the creaking bed and walked to the window to check where the sun had been in the sky, _nine or ten, looks like._ She quickly recorded the instance of the dream in the journal and thumbed through the pages, _no correlation judging from the dates but they are happening more often, so what's triggering them to happen when they do?_

Collecting whatever had fallen out of her satchel and stuffing it back in, she glanced down at her wrinkled clothes and groaned, _look like I just got fucked with 'em on_ _or something. That'd be nice if it actually happened and if I didn't have to go pick up a kid._ Smoothing her hands along her breeches and temporarily stripping her shirt to fluff and air it, she slings her satchel on and braces herself as she left her room, _I'll be a happy woman by the end of the day. If I survive until the end of the day, anyways._ Mentally preparing herself for all sorts of negative reactions like tears, snot and 100%-guaranteed-batshit-crazy-anger, she fishes in her over-stuffed satchel and takes out one of the smaller tomes with all manners of symbols and patterns to soothe her mind by studying. She hadn't even bothered informing the inn owner of the mess in her room nor that she'd been leaving, directly going outside and stopping by a nearby food stall for an apple, _there's_ _no doubt about it. Today is going to be a shitty day, I_ _feel __it resonating in my very fucking soul._

Conjuring the worst possible scenarios in her mind in order to prepare herself, she mused on all sorts of ways to keep Sera calm long enough so that she'd safely make it to Skyhold. _Which is simply impossible, and this time it's a fact and not an opinion._ She let out a heavy sigh and looked up at the sky as she walked through the winding streets leading to the Orlesian's house, she stashed her tome and took a large bite of her apple. For some reason, something felt off and her instincts screamed at her, she glanced behind her and then up at the balconies above her to check if anybody was tailing her. _Maybe Sera is within a mile radius, I can certainly feel the killing intent that's being radiated with a pure fucking passion._

 ** _You're being played, Inquisitor._**

 _Heh. Well that's awfully early to call Checkmate. Clearly you've not seen me play yet._ She couldn't shake off the feeling and once again her mind went back to last night, the second mystery that she'd mulled over as her and Sera drank. _Vicinius looked to be dead for hours, and if he's slighted Calpernia then that means he wouldn't have sent the Venatori._ She'd referenced the directions once again after noting the route she took didn't look familiar at all, _and if the sergeant reported that the Venatori were lured by the trap at Jader,_ her stomach twisted when she eventually found the house. _Why would they come to attack me, how did they know where to go?_ She made up the steps of the house, she amounted the gut churning to the usual anxiety of meeting parents, _and how Sera isn't here…_ She sighed and raked her hand through her hair, she'd felt better with the archer by her side since all she had to worry about was arrows up noble asses, it wasn't _that~_ big of a deal... But the thing was at least she knew what the deal was.

Everything suddenly seemed to happen in a matter of seconds as she rose her hand and rapped her knuckles to knock on the door. Her attention was drawn to the familiar screaming to that of a child and when she looked, she saw a child running down the second street across the width of the plaza, _what the..._ _?_ Behind her she'd also heard shouting and her blood froze instantly, "Boss!" _A presence tailing behind me. Who actually followed me last night?_

 ** _Mission success, your plan worked_ _and lured the Venatori away from us._**

 _Vaughan never knew and there'd be no reason for a messenger to be sent to inform him_. All the puzzles fit together as the door opened, she gritted her teeth and just narrowly evaded the thrusting sword, _I've been duped._ She rose her fist and swept her arm down, putting an end and crushing the sergeant who was a double agent after all, _fuck, fuck, shit!_ Heart thumping, millions of thoughts raced at once and she'd been torn with indecision, only springing into action when she'd been thawed from her state of freezing at the sound of an angry accent, "What the fuck are you doing ye daft tit?! Move!" Her head whipped back as Dorian, Bull and Sera ran up to her, the archer already had an arrow nocked and passed Lavellan as she rushed into the house. _One of kids are being chased, Sera has this,_ she turned to Bull and Dorian, her mind in working order once again.

"Bull, help Sera clear out the house, take **no** prisoners. Dorian with me, let's go!" The men nodded and split up immediately, the tevinter mage tailing after her as the two sprinted down the streets and followed the sounds of distant screaming, _Uvun, it's fucking Uvun!_

"How'd you guys know?!" Sylvira shouted as they rounded the corner, _I'm such a fucking idiot, how did I not see any of this coming?! What happened to the scout assigned to spy on Vaughan?!_

"We saw the carriage still at the stables!" Dorian shouted back, his voice hoarse from the exertion as the mages avoided multiple overturned objects, _at least Uvun had sense to slow them down, smart girl._ "Bull also complained yesterday how he couldn't find a courier to send his updates!" _And they remembered the sergeant's bogus report too, fuck sake._ Another corner, Lavellan's eyes widened and her heart constricted when she'd caught a glimpse of two zealots tailing the young dalish girl across the crowded marketplace. _Why doesn't anybody care, surely assassinations don't happen that often, and with kids?!_ She gritted her teeth, _it's because of our ears, this is all fucking bullshit!_

"Uvun!" _Fuck, we're too far,_ she glanced over her shoulder at the tired tevinter mage and chewed on her lip, her own legs and lungs were burning, _we'll never catch them at this rate._ Frustration flared and anger tinged her, _calm, think! Anger will only cloud your judgment,_ her eyes darted left and right from the expansive plaza as they pushed through the crowd, _guards are useless and can't be trusted, we're out of range and we could hurt bystanders. I need Uvun to come to_ ** _me_** _instead but if she turns around, it's over._ With no other choice, she damn near prayed Uvun's hearing was as good as she thought and screamed at the top of her lungs, "Uvun take the next street on the right and then another right after that!" _Checkmate mother fuckers._ Lavellan took a shortcut as she hopped over a barrel and stumbled when her foot caught, grateful when Dorian immediately caught her from falling, " _Thanks_ ," she wheezed, _need more_ _romantic jogs after this._ "This way," she gestured to the tevinter mage and they cut a corner, running down a narrow street. _I didn't see if she actually did hear, fuck,_ her eyebrows furrowed, her ribs protested to the thundering of her heart and her lungs had been cursing at her. _Please, I don't fucking pray but just let_ _something __work the way it's supposed to for once!_

Just as they reached the end of the street she felt something crash into her legs and she lost her balance as she tumbled down on the ground. She braced her head immediately and winced as the rough ground scraped the back of her hands, glancing down she'd been relieved to see disheveled blonde hair. "Uvun hands over ears and close your eyes," the little girl buried her face in Sylvira's shirt and she grimaced when she'd felt tears soak through immediately, _they've earned the special offer of worst fucking death._ The danger hadn't been over yet and Dorian immediately called on his magic, she outstretched her palm and grinned ruthlessly at the two zealots not too far behind, their eyes widened in fear. "Congratulations! You've won a trip to hell." Within moments the Venatori had been screaming in horror but were rooted in their spot, helplessly dragged by the core of telekinetic energy pulling them into the center. Gripped in pure fear, the two zealots' last moments were spent shrieking as they'd simultaneously frozen in a block of ice and shattered by the immense crushing weight of gravity soon after. She felt blood leaking down her nostril and her muscles drained of energy, _but fuck was that ever worth it, Dorian and I make the best fucking tag team._

Looking down, she smoothed her right hand over Uvun's hair and wrapped her arms in a protective embrace, "I'm so sorry," her heart squeezed painfully when the young girl clutched her shirt tighter as she tried to stifle her cries, "Ir abelas Uvun." _It's not worth it,_ she chewed her lip, _putting them in danger like this, it wasn't worth the fucking trap and for what, a few extra heads I'll eventually take myself?_ "Ir abelas, please forgive me," guilt welled up in her when the young girl muffled in her shirt, inhaling sharply in between choked sobs. _She has blood on the one side of her hair and face_ _but she's not injured,_ dread welled up in her, _she witnessed death, and that probably means Grâce or her parents..._

"We knew, you told us." _That doesn't make it any fucking better._ "You asked us first." _I'm a heartless_ _fucking bitch, nothing but a jerk._ Honestly, Lavellan wanted Sera to be here to beat the crap out of her to an inch of her life, _but not in front of Uvun, and when we win against Corypheus. Ask Dorian to be nearby for healing, and Sera can let it rip on me,_ she gently eased the girl and her into sitting as she blinked back the tears of frustration, Dorian thankfully looked away as he gently squeezed the woman's shoulder. "You came," Uvun wiped her nose on the mage's shirt and looked up, her big eyes red and puffy as she smiled with relief and pointed to the scarf. _I'm worse than Cally._ "I knew you would." _Sera was right about me. She knows me best, after all._

* * *

"How long has she been up there?" Bull asked worriedly, Sera and Dorian shook their heads, solemn looks on all their faces as Uvun and Grâce fell asleep after a full hour of nonstop crying. "Maybe we should check on her? There could be another-"

"All the fuckers are dead," Sera seethed menacingly, "I made fucking sure they're as dead as dead can be and made 'em more dead." She crossed her arms, leaning on one leg and scratching the back of her calf with the other, her eyes hardened and temper teetering. She wanted nothing more than to refill her quiver with more arrows and stab every single one of them in the next venatori stupid enough to come in her way. "She's probly lookin' for clues, anything she can use."

"Or upset," Dorian added, casting a concerned glance the archer's way. Both men had heard the shouting and glass shattering last night, they figured out what most likely occurred when Sylvira wasn't there in the morning, as often happened every time the women argued. Nobody asked for specifics.

They didn't want to be added to the body count.

A heavy sigh, the rogue raked her hand through her hair, "Just fucking spit it out. You want me to go up and check on her. We're pissed at each other y'know." _I'm the last face she'd wanna see, would rather be_ _with the dead 'rents._ She glanced at the Orlesian girl Bull cradled in his arms and Uvun passed out, her head draped on the qunari's lap as all three sat on the couch. Dorian's eyes took stock of the house surroundings, taking the liberty of freezing the corpse of the double agent sergeant and smashing it with his staff before returning to the others.

"You two always argue," Bull interjected, "And always make up. Boss is real good at keeping a straight face, and she didn't have one this time. Probly real pissed off at herself for-" Dorian coughed and the qunari paused abruptly, _the heck?_ Sera cast the two an odd glance as the tevinter mage glared at Bull, _why'd Syl be pissed at herself over this? Not her fault, she didn't know._ "Maybe just check on her, see if she's alright is all."

"Fine. Still think it's a bad idea but whatever," the archer reluctantly conceded and plopped down the hallways, there'd been one zealot with three arrows through the head and she spat on the corpse as she passed by, _if I had more he'd have four fuckin' arrows in his head_. Grabbing the railing and making way up the stairs, Sera steeled herself as she passed by another corpse missing it's head as courtesy of Bull, she averted her gaze immediately and couldn't bring herself to spit lest she accidentally vomit. Door after door, her stomach churned and she'd honestly been nervous, _Syl disappeared after the kids fell asleep, it's been maybe half an hour now?_ She wasn't quite sure what the dalish woman would be doing in the room they'd last seen the kids sleeping, also now the room where Ophelia and Alfred lay in their own blood. _All the pricks are_ _dead no doubt 'bout it, no more traps._ Just before she'd stepped into the room, she took a deep breath and hesitated as she stared at the door handle, _this is a friggin' dumb idea._ As she opened and stepped inside she called out softly, "Syl? You alright luv?" She grimaced right away at her own question, _course she isn't, stupid._

"Peachy," the sarcasm was completely lost and Sylvira sounded utterly miserable, her voice scratchy and hoarse. "Never been better." _Never been_ _worse, more like._ "Once again you've done the opposite of what I said, naturally. Good work."

 ** _I'm picking up Uvun by_ _myself_ _._**

 _That's her friggin'...?_ Sera glared at the nape of the woman's neck before shaking her head and letting out a sigh, _why am I not surprised, that's bad innit?_ "Seriously? This was all a fucking plan of yours again, are you fucking serious right now? Wha'bout the kids, wha'bout the fucking 'rents huh?" _Was it all worth it just to nab a couple fucking wackos? Was it worth pissing us both off?_

"Yeah," Lavellan let out a strained chuckle as if something were actually funny, "Alfred and Ophelia died for a reason," _what the fuck?_ Something about it all reeked, and the archer didn't believe it. "It was a necessity," the mage choked out, her voice wavering, _ugh shite…_ "They died for a **reason**." _She ain't telling me._ "There has to be good one." _She's telling herself._

"There isn't," Sera bit harshly and cringed, "This… Is just how things are, luv. Outta our hands, even yours."

"You think I don't know that?" Sylvira retorted heatedly and rotated her upper torso, her citron eyes and taut facial expressions cycling through a multitude of expressions: anger, sorrow, guilt. Her voice sounded like she was ready to crack any second, the tension hung thick in the air and threatened to explode. "I **know** what reality is like **better** than anyone else, better than y-" she abruptly cut off and her eyes drooped slightly, she turned back, facing the bodies of the parents as she knelt on the ground. Sera fought with her own temper, she dearly wanted to slap the woman and snap her out of it. "It's my fault," she whispered under her breath, _what?_ "Can you see?" She rose her voice again, "The direction of the bloodstain here and how a chunk of that spray is missing, as if something was in the way," _fuck I'm so confused with her switching so damn fast._ Lavellan spoke numbly, technically, as if **trying** to detach herself, _she can't. She's gotta face it._ "You know, you're similar to Cally in how you two perceive the upper class, the nobles." _Right. 'Upper' class._

"Who the fuck's Cally?"

"Calpernia. We used to be friends when both of us served under the same patron." _She's comparing_ _me __to that wacko bitch?_ The dalish woman let out that strained half chuckle again, "You never read that journal? Shocking!" _Oldest shite was just past year crap, the hell's she talking 'bout?_ Guilt and pride lashed within Sera, she'd wanted to bite out a retort and instead bit her tongue, _so then this 'Cally' was a slave with Syl?_ "But you know what? The 'bottom' people aren't better either."

"That's coz they're stuck and-"

"Stuck? No. I was there and like you told Cassandra once, you're no where near what _real_ people been through. So don't feed me that 'there was no other choice' bullshit." Sylvira snapped and rose calmly, turning with a feral look in her eyes, "The 'bottom' people, ones I thought would be my friends, my allies, they were the most degenerate and cruel. My Master," her voice wavered again at that word, her eyes shone bright and hardened like steel, _master? Where is this all coming from, why the fuck is she telling me this?_ "My teacher, he wasn't perfect but he was patient, unlike many other Magisters." _Magister, those twisted fucks that kill people for blood magic? So then she knows not all of them are good either!_ "But the 'bottom' people were the fucking **worst** , they didn't treat me like a person and I didn't know any better with the shit they've done. I was cattle and-"

"Why the fuck are you telling me this now Syl?" _I don't get any of this! She hasn't even switched off like before, what the fuck's changed?_

"Don't you see?" The mage gestured to the corpse of Alfred then to the bloodstains, "If you follow this and match it with what the children were able to tell us before they passed out, it means he died to protect Uvun, for her to escape." _And the bi-Ophelia saved_ _her own kid._ "Do you know what that fucking means, Sera? Is it clicking yet?" Sera's jaw clenched and she bit down on her tongue harder, _I know she's pissed off the rocker, looks ready to lose it._ But that still didn't help how badly she wanted to retort, defend herself, not get thrashed at, _knew this was a bad idea. She's still pissed at me, takin' out her anger._ "A **noble** died for an **elf** , a dalish elf. According to you -since you're the _expert_ on nobles- you know how elves are typically treated regardless of age. Bottom's not always the best, top's not always the worst, it's not black and white and _simple_ like that." Lavellan strode forward and stopped at the rogue's side, her eyes flashing like that of a rabid and wounded animal yet her gaze glued to the door. Sera's blood froze and she stiffened, her heart wrenched with guilt as the mage muttered coldly before leaving her in the crimson room, "Now you have proof of it, Red Jenny."

* * *

"When we stop for a break," Sylvira spoke gently to the children, weary lines etched into her face and frowning when she'd steal glances down at Grâce, "I want to show and teach you two something." They'd gone back to the stables and taken the carriage for their journey back to Skyhold, the mage sat with both kids, one laying against each side of her as she protectively wrapped her arms around their shoulders. She felt Uvun nod slightly, but the Orlesian girl was still despondent ever since she'd woken up, _I don't blame her. It will be a miracle if she speaks,_ she chewed on her lip, she'd been getting frustrated with the fact that she **knew** she should feel, but couldn't. _It's locked, I don't understand. I know I can't force myself to feel but…_ She groaned inwardly, _I can't even feel guilty about not feeling guilty._ She looked back at Grâce again, _I took everything away from her…_ She glanced at Uvun and her heart squeezed painfully, she'd been caught in a mix of relief and anger now that guilt had welled up ever so slowly at the realization of what she'd done to the children. _I took everything away from the both of them. Both their families and lives gone just like that, because of me._

A tiny growl, she pursed her lips, _sounded like it came from Grâce and she still isn't even saying anything._ Uvun rose her head and the two elves exchanged worried glances then at the Orlesian girl, "Hey," Uvun whispered, "Can we take a break now then? I'm hungry too." _Smart, making sure Grâce won't feel like it's her fault for stopping._

"Sure thing," Lavellan coughed to warm up her throat then shouted loudly, "Oi, Dorian! Stop the carriage, we're camping!"

"I don't think that's a good idea!" The tevinter man sounded absolutely **miserable** , _uh, what the fuck?_ "It's _wet_ and _moist_ and-" _oh we must be getting near Fereldan,_ the dalish woman chuckled quietly, _he hates it so much._

"Kiddos are hungry!" At that the carriage stopped soon enough, everybody knew that the real ones calling the shots now were the children. Whatever they wanted they were granted, they deserved more than that and it was the least that could be done. "C'mon," Sylvira gave a slight nudge and Uvun untangled herself, she stood in front of Grâce with a reassuring smile and gently patted the girl's shoulder as she grasped her wrist.

"Let's go, Big Sis is gonna teach us something cool." No response, the two elves shared worried looks again and Lavellan's temper was teetering, her mind torn into two. _Feelings are so fucking troublesome,_ she gritted her teeth and slowly hooked her free arm under Grâce's knees, cradling and lifting the light girl with ease. Dorian opened the carriage door and he too had a concerned look, nobody knew what to say or do and Sylvira's comical cheerful acting had been starting to wear on her. The dalish mage took stock of her surroundings and looked around, _oh here, alright I think I maybe kinda sorta_ _remember this area. Not really. But_ _if I go down the thin trail between the bushes there, maybe there'll be a nice view if we're lucky._

"Set up camp and get working on the grub. I'm going to take the kiddos with me for a walk," Grâce tugged on her shirt and she looked down, but the young girl still didn't say anything except point to the ground, "Wanna walk?" A nod, _at least she's slowly coming around._ Lavellan gently knelt on one knee and carefully set Grâce down, she intertwined with both of the girls' hands and took a step forward, "Let's go see where that path will take us." She couldn't bring herself to look at Sera, knowing which direction **not** to glance in thanks to the blatant red shirt in her peripheral vision. It wasn't so much as being angry with her anymore, she was simply fed up with everything that's been piling one after another and the lingering regret over her bitter treatment and cold attitude. _She's too close,_ she reasoned to herself, _the more you get attached, the more it hurts. Shouldn't it be the fucking opposite? Oh wait I almost forgot, feelings don't make any sense._ She slowly placed one foot in front of the other, guiding and leading the children as she ducked her head to avoid the branches hitting her in the face. _Wait a second…!_ She fought not to grin and composed herself, _kids always love this kinda shit and think it's funny._

As they continued weaving through an over-grown path, she gradually eased her grip on their hands to ensure she wouldn't accidentally take them with her. Gratefully, only Uvun squeezed in reflex but as soon as she saw Grâce's hand slip away, so did hers. The moment that happened, instead of ducking Sylvira intentionally walked into a branch and exaggeratedly flew back, falling on the ground with a theatrical "Oomph!" Bewildered, the kids' eyes widened and snapped to the woman suddenly on the ground, and immediately Uvun's lips pursed as she tried not to laugh. "That's mean~ Uvun," the mage stuck out her tongue, "Just for the record, I didn't fall. I attacked the ground." At that the dalish girl wrapped her arms around her ribs and turned away, the chuckles still poured from her mouth and even Grâce looked away, politely covering her mouth with her hand. _She's smiling,_ relief filled Lavellan, _she knows it's okay thanks to Uvun,_ the mage huffed in mock-hurt, "Jerks."

And the kids exploded in laughter.

* * *

" _What_ , Dorian? Stop looking at me." Sera poked at the roaring campfire to adjust the charred logs, the tevinter mage sighed and complied, resuming the task of cooking stew for fear of the other two companions ruining dinner. "Last time I'll ever listen to you daft twats," the archer grumbled and poked again, cursing when she'd accidentally knocked the log over instead. "Told you. She just blew up some more coz of me."

"She got it out instead of holding it in," Dorian reassured, "Holding it in would have been disastrous for both her and everyone surrounding her. She'd have become self-destructive." _And destroying everything else in her fuckin' path is so~ much better._

"Well ain't that just fuckin' grand, yeah? I s'pose I ought to jump for joy now, that it?" Sera spat at the ground, "What's next, gonna tell me it was _necessary_ for me to be the one that got chewed out? If you cared so fuckin' much you'd have gone instead."

"If I meant even a quarter as much as you do to her, I would. But even if I did, in this situation she'd have never opened up to me." The qunari grunted and Dorian cast a concerned glance, _the heck? What's up with these two?_ "We kn-"

"Don't think that's a good idea Vint," Bull interjected, "This'll just make things worse."

"Spit it out now," Sera snapped, "I'm fuckin' tired of these stupid secrets and bullshit games. The fuck's going on?" Her stomach churned when both men averted their gaze, Dorian let out a heavy sigh and spoke carefully.

"We know what she used to be." _Used to be… No way they wouldn't know 'bout the slave thing, ain't no way. They didn't come with us!_

"And what did she _used_ to be, huh?" The archer's eyes narrowed in suspicion, "Syl didn't _used_ to be nothing, so shut yer trap before I do it for you."

"Quite right, in being nothing," Dorian gulped and bravely pressed when Sera flashed a warning murderous look, "We know she used to be a slave." The rogue's eyes widened and her jaw gaped, _what… The fuck?! How do they know? Syl'd never breathe of it._ "And that look there confirms it." Guilt suddenly welled up in Sera and she averted her gaze, she chewed on her lip in frustration.

 ** _You're so terrible at this it's not even funny._**

 _Not my fault… It's not!_ The two men shared concerned glances as Dorian continued to speak hesitantly, "She's unintentionally given me many clues during our chess games together. Her demeanor itself -especially towards me- is what made me suspicious at first, and she has extensive inside knowledge on both Tevinter and its magicks. Knowledge only one could gain by having some sort of place and role there. Not only that but the symbols she draws are similar to-"

"Shut up!" Sera abruptly rose, her fists clenched and her temper boiling hot with rage, "Syl ain't used to be nothing and you better remember that if you don't want any fucking arrows stuffed in every fucking hole I can find. I'll **make** new holes."

 ** _I'm just me._**

"She's just **Syl** and that's _it_ ," the archer seethed, she'd been terribly tempted to beat the tevinter man into a bloody pulp, "You've got fucking _nerve_ , Moustache. Don't you _dare_ open yer mouth 'bout this to her or I'll stripe you up for her, y'hear?" Her ears perked at distant whistling that had a bit of a honking-like quality to it, _the fuck?_ It had sounded familiar, something from a distant memory and she wasn't quite sure, _I_ _know __I heard this before._ She glared at Dorian, "We clear?"

"Crystal clear," he let out a heavy sigh and smoothed his hand along the side of his head, "I know she'd be upset if she found out. Are you able to keep that secret?" Instead of answering Sera took off towards the thin trail Sylvira and the children took an hour ago as she ignored the turmoil within her, "Where are you going?"

"Heard some whistling, gonna go check on 'er. Be back soon," the archer waved off and her temper teetered when she heard Bull's low gruff whisper.

"Told you it'd make things worse." _Shut up, arseholes,_ Sera's eyebrows furrowed and guilt welled up, _they know for sure now coz of me…_ Exhaustion was settling in and she was on the verge of an emotional burn out, _I can't fuckin' do this._ She rubbed her sweaty palms together then wiped them on her tunic, flexing her fingers on and off, _always being friggin' tricked by everyone._

 ** _You call me a dumbass but you're just as stupid. If not more._**

Descending the downward spiral, she'd been grateful when she heard the whistle once again though it seemed more like a duck honking this time, she carefully ducked under branches and was confused when she saw one slightly cracked with a wide area of the grass flattened, _the fuck?_

 ** _Don't be ridiculous! I attacked the ground._**

 _Uh huh._ Her lips curled into a small smile and she snickered at the memory, _if I'm ridiculous what the fuck was that?_ Another whistle, it'd been the musical reed-like quality she'd heard long ago and finally it dawned on her on what had been so familiar as she continued along the trail, the sounds gradually growing louder as she neared. _One time found Syl sitting by herself blowing into her hands, friggin' weirdo. Looked sad too…_ Quietly, she noticed the path widening and slowed down as she pressed herself against the trees, peeking out around the corner to watch the scene. The three had been perched atop a hill overlooking acres of farmland, the sun setting and Sylvira laughing with the children having sulky looks. _The heck are they doing?_ Unfortunately the mage had her back to Sera, _least she won't know I'm here if-_ she paused at that and averted her gaze- _fuck this. No more secrets. Just gonna watch a bit more so I won't stop 'em then I'll let Syl know I'm here._

"Here," Lavellan picked a blade of grass, "It's all about the type you pick too. Look for wide and flat, the coarse ones are the best," she showed the two, "Watch carefully. Press the ends of your thumbs by the knuckles to hold the length of the grass in between, and depending how you cup your hands you get different sounds. Listen closely," the woman held the shred of grass in between both thumbs then pressed her mouth near the base of her hands as she blew, the musical quality resounded in the air and changed pitches as she fluttered the ends of her hands. The children -still with pouts- took to their blades of grass and tried again, the honking sounds made Sera cringe and Lavellan laughed again. "Hang in there for a bit longer and keep trying even if you make mistakes, everybody makes mistakes and that's how we learn best. It takes practice, you're doing a lot better than I did when I first tried this. I couldn't make any sounds at all, come here," she unfolded and spread her legs in a V as she sat, she patted the spot in between, "Sit here. Let's see if I can help you out."

 _She's got that sad look on her face like the first time I saw this…_ The archer slowly knelt down and sat behind the bushes, she watched the kids take turns as they sat in between the long legs and disappear in the tall woman's embrace. She saw the tops of their heads when Sylvira tilted to the side and looked over their shoulder, her arms wrapped around and clasping their hands as she instructed them how to make the reed flute from the blade of grass. Her tone had been one Sera never heard before, gentle, patient, but also seemed distant, as if the mage was reminiscing and simply repeating what she'd recalled from memory. "An old friend taught me exactly like this," Lavellan murmured softly, "When we were done our… Chores… We'd sneak outside to the stables and play until the sun set." _'Chores', huh? That why she don't like work?_

"Are you still friends with her?" Uvun inquired, and the rogue could see the way Sylvira's body tensed when Grâce untangled herself from the embrace, crawling on her hands and knees as she set about her new task of finding another blade of grass. _She's gonna end up exploding one of these days._

"No," the tranquil quality with the accent null and void made Sera grimace, it seemed the young dalish girl picked up on this as well. _Old friend, chores, switching off…_ "She's done something unforgivable to **all** of us. We'll never be friends ever again, no matter what it used to be." _What it used to be?_ A tinge of jealousy rose and the archer smothered it immediately before it flourished, _don't be stupid, course there'd be people before me, just like there were people before her._ She noticed the way Grâce and Uvun exchanged looks, then suddenly grinned and giggled. Lavellan too seemed to be taken aback, she turned her head to face the dalish girl and Sera saw the way confusion splayed on the half of the face she could see.

"Grâce and I fight lots too, but we always forgive each other. Everyone makes mistakes, you taught us that!" Sylvira's eyes widened and Sera grinned affectionately at the cute scene as the two kids held hands to emphasize their point, the surprise apparent and the citron eyes watered, the mage blinked it away and smiled sadly as she nodded slowly. "I'm sure everything will be better and you two will be friends again. Just forgive her, it'll happen anyways!"

"Aye, you're right," _what? Yeah right._ "An excellent point." _Too bad it won't happen, but what else is she gonna tell the kiddos?_ "How about I start now?" _Huh?_ Lavellan rose slowly and smirked as she looked in the archer's direction, _aw piss, come on I didn't make noise!_ The children watched with confusion as the mage held out her hand, _wait, me? She don't mean me, right?_ _I never taught her that whistle shite,_ "Come on out Icky-Kisses, I know you're there," _ugh, stupid nickname. Well least I don't havta keep secrets,_ Sera reluctantly rose and stepped out, a sheepish smile on her face as she brought her two fingers to her temple and saluted to the kids. She'd been about to greet until it promptly died in her throat when Sylvira smirked coyly, "I actually didn't know you were there."

 _Is this a friggin'_ _joke or what?_ Sera bit her tongue hard, her temper threatened to snap and anger immediately clouded her mind, the terrible timing of it all made her want to choke the woman, _she's so fuckin' lucky the kids are here. Fucking tricks, everybody is always fucking tricking me…!_ As if sensing the impending doom, the mage watched with concern and strode swiftly towards her, framing Sera's face and capturing her plump lips before she could resist or escape. "Sorry for deceiving you," Lavellan breathed against her lips so quietly it'd been difficult for even her to hear, _the hell is she talkin' so-_ she glanced at the pointed ears poking out of Uvun's matted hair- _she got good hearing too then?_ The citron eyes bore into hers, "You look ready to kill me. Wait until the children aren't around."

"Exactly what I'm waiting for," Sera muttered dangerously, "I'm not the one the kiddo was talking about."

"There's no way I'm forgiving Cally, but Uvun doesn't know that she's who I meant. There is you, though." _You __forgive_ _me_ _? For what? Got the order wrong, Syl._ Sylvira stole a side glance then back at the archer, "What she said still rings true and even I cannot deny it, you heard her too yes?" _More fucking lies._ "After everything they've been through… They deserve a fairy tale, don't you think? They need to see  something good every once in a while." Sera sighed and reluctantly nodded, "Go with the flow, do what feels natural."

"None of it _is_ ," the rogue retorted and Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed, "Lying ain't right Syl." The dalish woman stepped back and knelt on her knee, "When does it stop?" _Yer tricking the fancy girl thinkin' life is peaches when it's shit, you know that best like ya said._

"It already has," the children giggled as Sylvira took the archer's hand and pressed her lips to each knuckle, _what? This is a fuckin' lie too_ _ain't it?_ She spoke loudly for the other two to hear, "I'm sorry. What I said was wrong and unworthy of me," _surprised it's missing it's usual shit scent,_ Sera's stomach buzzed and fluttered pleasantly as she held the intense gaze. _The hell's she apologizing for? Shouldn't she be tellin' me to do this?_ "We were **both** wrong," _fuck no, I'm right._ At that she bit her tongue and averted her gaze for a brief moment before meeting the citron eyes again, _being stupid again..._

 ** _Fuckin' pride, look how much good it's doing for ya._**

 _None. Never does._ "Might we put this behind us, start on _another_ slate once _again?_ " _She's playin' with words as usual,_ Sera stared blankly and stole a glance at the two hand-holding children, they'd waited with bated breath and large excited eyes. _Even the fancy girl's eyes are lit up, fuck. Still don't fucking get the point of this bullshit._ She shrugged nonchalantly and nodded, the kids giggled with delight when Sylvira rose swiftly and crashed their mouths together once again, _but it don't smell like it._ Her eyebrows furrowed when she felt the delicate hands smooth along her cheeks, the way the lips melded seamlessly against hers in a sensual kiss, _it's not a fairy tale Syl, we ain't a fairy tale._ She met the citron eyes that bounced with both relief and mirth, _I don't get none of this. Was she really asking then?_ "Thank you," Lavellan breathed with contained excitement, "Thank you so much." _I don't get this!_ "I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I was incredibly stupid to have let anger cloud my mind." _Whispering again,_ the kids -even Grâce- had been squealing with delight until they made mocking kissing noises to tease, _so is she serious or is it for the kids?_ "Wait until Skyhold, I'll accept whatever punishment you have in mind for me to make it fair. Whatever it takes to earn your forgiveness." Sera nodded dumbly though she still had trouble wrapping her mind around what was happening, _hard to keep up with her._

"C'mon," Sylvira's hand slid down and interlocked with the archer's, her other one held out towards the kids, "Let's head back to camp and eat. We'll sleep for the night and go back to Skyhold tomorrow." When Grâce grinned with Uvun, Sera noticed the way the mage squeezed her hand, the tension in her shoulders visibly melted away, _when the fancy one_ _woke up she was mute..._ The archer stole a glance at Lavellan then looked away, the corner of her lips curling into a half-smirk as they tried to maneuver the narrow path by walking in single file with Sera in the lead. _Syl got her talking and fixed shite with us…_ _Guess it's not_ _so __bad_ _then right?_ She chuckled when she heard a quiet 'oof' and the kids giggling behind her, _daft tit's sporting cuts on her face just to make 'em laugh and feel better. Friggin' weirdo._ "I can still hear you even if you try not to laugh," Sylvira spoke with mock-hurt then lilted playfully as the girls snickered mischievously, "So~ mean, this hurts you know!"

"Maybe we should jump on you some more?" Grâce offered as innocently as possible, "You'll get used to it then." _I like the way this girl thinks._ Sera grinned as she looked over her shoulder at the panicked look on the mage's face then down at the way both girls giggling evilly, _they only_ _look __nice. Buncha trouble they are, perfect. I'll teach 'em some pranks they can do for Syl._

"I agree!" Sera offered and snickered when she heard the quiet cussing asking what she was doing, "She's been whining a lot ever since you kiddos stopped doggy piling her. I think we should all-"

" _Sera,_ " Sylvira hissed with a clearly worried tone, "Are you _trying_ to kill me?" The archer waved her hand dismissively and grinned sadistically when she looked over her shoulder, _payback. Being a cheesy sap and smoochin' my knuckles won't save ya.  
_

"Show Big Sis some love." The kids let go of the mage's hand and rose their fists in the air, cheering loudly and already tackling Lavellan as they tugged on her breeches. Unfortunately, the tall woman resisted this time and used her height to her advantage, that is until Sera let go of her hand too. "What d'ya shout when trees fall down, kiddos?" The wide-eyed look made Sera burst out laughing as she shoved the mage, the children sang cheerfully with Sylvira yelling, her voice choked and hoarse with fear. _Deserve to hurt a bit for whatcha did._

"TIMBERRRR~!"

"TRAITOR!"

* * *

"Couldn't you have gotten revenge differently?" Lavellan wore an adorable pout and the rogue had to stop herself from pouncing on the woman, Maker how it hurt to keep her bum rooted to the ground instead of her back. "I know I was a jerk but-"

"Still haven't forgiven ya," the mage groaned and Sera chuckled, the two tended to the fire and guarded for the first half of the night as the others slept in their respective tents. "Watch yer back Syl. Those two runts are my partners now."

"I'm fucked. Still not for the right reason, when are we going to fix that?" _Good question, can't now with the kids 'round though, ugh..._ The dalish woman bravely shuffled closer and bumped shoulders with Sera, "I really am sorry, you know. Back there I-"

"Just drop it Syl, new slate again right?" She raked her hand along her hair and let out a quiet sigh, "S'fine, yeah? You were pissed the hell off, I get it and-"

"It doesn't excuse what I said. I let feelings cloud my judgment, anger guided my tongue." Sylvira rubbed the back of her neck, "I want to earn it, Sera. Don't spoil me with forgiveness so easily."

"Ain't forgiving, just forgetting." _I was wrong too._ She couldn't force herself to utter the words, her lips parted and sealed as she gazed, enraptured by the fire dancing to and fro. "Done worse before, both of us." She could see the grin in her peripheral vision and rolled her eyes, "Shut-"

"Is that your way of admitting you were wrong too?"

"Up."

"Does that mean it's alright to kiss you, then?" _What the fuck? You did earlier, why ask now?_ The archer looked over, her eyebrow risen in skepticism as she stared with confusion, "What? I ask for permission too, I'm not the molester you think I am."

"Uh huh."

"Why don't you believe me?"

"I said uh huh. I do believe you," Sera rose her hand and touched her thumb and index together as she grinned, "This~ much."

"So... Not at all."

"Yup."

"Anyways," _she don't friggin' care as usual,_ "Can I kiss you or not?" Sera groaned and rotated her torso, she grabbed on to the scarf returned to it's rightful owner and tugged the smug woman in to crash their mouths together. _The scarf,_ her eyebrows knitted together when something seemed to nag her in the back of her mind as she lost herself in the kiss. She bit back the mewl bubbling in her throat when the tongue that so often drove her insane delved inside, sweeping along the roof of her mouth and warring with her own tongue when she refused to relinquish control. The mage chuckled and murmured against her lips, "I love how feisty you get." Her stomach fluttered at that and Sylvira's half-lidded eyes clouded with desire, "I can't wait to try to tame you," Sera parted for a sassy retort until the woman pulled her back in, "And fail." _Huh?_ "I can't wait when you try to tame me too… And also fail."

"Already tamed, mine," the archer grinned as she tugged on the scarf and dove under as she latched on to the thundering pulse, her own heart hammered in the same manner. " **Mine** , Syl. You belong to me and only me," at that Lavellan stiffened and Sera leaned back, a worried look in her eyes, "What's wrong luv?" Anger nearly guided her tongue and retort until she'd suddenly realized her implication, " _Fuck._ I didn't mean that Syl, you don't belong to me… Like that..." Guilt surfaced and she mumbled as she averted her gaze, "Yer free, luv." She swallowed the lump in her throat and steeled herself as she looked up, as expected she stared at eyes that'd taken on a more yellow hue as the light shut off, not even the fire reflected in the hollow orbs. "You're **free** Syl, always. Especially with me, yeah?"

"Light." _Huh?_ That forced flicker of a smile again, the woman had been trying to pull herself out the hole dug for her and Sera's eyebrows furrowed with worry, _I'm such a fuckin' idiot, way to go. Remind her some more won't you?_ "You're in the best light," Sylvira leaned back then shuffled to crawl behind Sera and rose her hands to form a square, hovering it over the archer's face when Sera rotated her torso to look, _I'm lost. The fuck is she doing now?_ "If only I had my drawing tools… I'd always forget."

"Okay, what? Y'lost me luv," _why the hell is she talking about drawing?_ She stared with confusion, the mage braced a palm on the ground as the other cupped Sera's chin, the yellow hue had gradually melted away and returned with a faint spark. _And forget… What?_

"You're brighter with the fire behind you," Lavellan ghosted her lips over the archer's, as if she were afraid to break Sera. "You help me forget the dark." The rogue's stomach buzzed just that slightest bit and she hesitantly met the electric eyes, pain lingering in the depths of the yellow specks, _but I made you remember._ "That's how bright you shine, your light." She softly pressed her lips to Sera's forehead and whispered with a hint of affectionate pride, "I see it -you- even if my eyes are closed." _Honey tongue…_ The archer fully shuffled around and bunched up Sylvira's shirt in her fists, clutching with her life as her heart swelled and twisted at the same time, both warmth and frustration swirling within her, _dunno what to say to that. Words are her thing, not mine_. "So," the dalish woman parted and sat on her haunches, a small smug smirk tugging on the corner of her lips as she gazed with tired eyes, "You want me to be yours?"

"Syl," Sera started, the guilt surfaced once more, "I didn't mean it that way. I meant-"

"I know." Lavellan let out a wry chuckle, "That'd be fucked up if I fell for a slaver. Ironic humor, I guess." _Nothing's funny about this._ She let out a soft sigh and raked her hand through her hair, "I know what you meant so don't worry, okay?" _It's not okay._ "You've got that kicked puppy face, I don't like it when it's  my puppy that's kicked." Sera's eyes widened and the smug smirk swiftly grew into a grin, "I don't understand why you feel guilty. You've been calling me yours for a while now, and I have done the same for you."

"What?" _I know she did that for me but I never 'cept now…_ _I think. Right?_

Another chuckle, "In any case, you've done nothing wrong Madhlea." _A new nickname, been a while._ Surprise splayed on Sera's face, Sylvira gave a slight shrug, "I just happened to remember something at the wrong time, that's all. So don't hang your head, it's unbecoming of you… Unless," the lecherous grin was there and the archer rolled her eyes, _I know that look,_ "Your head'll hang back for the right reason."

"Uh huh."

"It will? Well that was easy," Sera shot a playful dirty look and Lavellan snickered, "Enlighten me, I've been wondering about something for a while and I'm curious if I'm right about your answer." _Huh?_ "Earlier when you told the kids about what to yell when trees fall, it reminded me of a question asked of me long ago." _Why ask now?_

"Okay, what?" _She's always bouncing around everywhere,_ the rogue shrugged, "Ah, whatever. What's the question?" _Better not be stupid. Maybe just more'f her weird roundabout shite._

"If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, does it still make sound? Is sound only sound if a person hears it?"

" **What**." Sera burst out laughing until Sylvira dove forward and clamped her hand over the archer's mouth, _right forgot, kiddos sleeping._ She muffled beneath the palm when she'd eventually calmed down, "What kinda stupid fuckin' question s'that? Course it makes sound ye daft tit. Nobody has to be around to hear it."

"Then who does?" The mage removed her hand as she leaned back, a coy smirk on her face, _she's got that look. Why ask me when she knows I'd say that, then?_

"I dunno, the fucking forest? World don't center 'round the person there or not. But the tree still makes sound, other trees hear it then I guess. Stupidest question I've ever heard, better things to worry and ask 'bout." _This the kinda rubbish crammed in her head?_ Her head tilted in confusion when Lavellan's eyes softened, the vibrant citron orbs glowed with a look she'd rarely seen and the woman's lips curled in a fond smile, the fire flickered and played on her face. _Pretty… Though I can't tell 'er or she'd get a big fat head and then get annoying too._

"That's something I hadn't considered," Sylvira murmured with a thoughtful expression, "So the forest hears the tree..."

"When you put it like that it still sounds stupid. It just makes sound, alright?" Sera licked her lips, mischief shining in her eyes as she lilted playfully, "That simple." Within seconds she found herself pushed by the shoulders and twisted to lay on her back, the fire beside her. "Oi what the fu-" silenced by the mage's lips, her thundering heart calmed when her concern that she'd angered Lavellan instantly melted away as she reciprocated the tender kiss. _Don't get it, this. Don't care anymore, either._

"I see," Sylvira whispered huskily then rose, hands on either side of Sera's head and the lopsided ponytail seemingly ablaze with multiple colors as it reflected the light from the fire. The archer's heart beat erratically when realization dawned on her soon after the mage finished singing softly, nervousness shining bright in her eyes, "Timber~ I'm falling down. Let the forest hear my sound."


	17. Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** I don't know what it is, or why, but for some reason Syl -the hardest for me to write- fascinates me and almost every random idea that hits me is for her. I've so many crammed in my head that's for chapters waaaa-haaaay farther down in the story and my eagerness to get them out is bugging me lol. There's too many drafts of little scenes written and just waiting to be pieced together when the time is right. Starting the snowball here, before our brainiac unleashes her creativity and thinks of all sorts of ways to 'play' with Sera ;) So much to write, if only there'd be more time and faster typing! In any case, hope ya enjoy the chappy mates, **on to the story!**

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Madhlea:_ My light [in the] night. Emma (my) + Dhea (morning/night's darkness) + Lea (light/glitter/shine). As always with much of elvhen being symbolic interpretation, apart from how I intend it to mean "My light in the night", Sylvira is essentially implying, "You ward off the dark"

 _Pala Ghi'lin:_ Sex guide/teacher (the return of the book for an entirely different reason :P)

* * *

 **Don't Judge a Book by it's Cover**

* * *

 _Absolutely fucking miserable is an understatement to describe just how incredibly shitty this is right now._ Humid, hot, stuffed in a tiny tent with an irritable sharpshooter beside her and worst of all… _She won't even let me fucking strip to my underclothes._ "How the hell did Dorian and Bull fall asleep?" Sylvira croaked out, "It wasn't this bad when we were by the fire." _Maybe it boiled and evaporated the water in the air? An unlikely possibility but it is one, unless we just didn't notice the heat? Felt a different heat. And not the dirty kind,_ a mental sigh, _this is pissing me off._

"Dunno," the archer rasped irritably, "Bull's always sweating and likes it, Moustache is always pinned under him so he's used to it I bet."

"Ooh~ good one," Lavellan glanced over, she'd extended her right arm out and Sera was laying on her bicep as a pillow, _I can't feel my arm anymore but I don't want to move either._ The only good thing about their current situation was when the two men relieved them of their guard duty and rotated just in time, she'd taken a risk and dropped Sera a few hints with certain words but… It seemed the rogue finally caught on at the end with the timber analogy. _She hasn't said anything,_ the mage tried not to think about it -or in this case over-analyze- for she'd tried to stave off the uncomfortable churning in her stomach and painful squeezing of her heart. _Useless, troublesome, I don't have time to indulge in idle fantasies anymore. Why did I do something so reckless?_ "Fuck it's too hot in here…" _I guess I could create an area of fresh cool air, but that's too much work. And Sera gets sick around magic._ "I blame you." _Partially her fault and because she's sszz~ hot!_

"What the fuck, why?" _Well that was completely lost. Damn._ "It's your fault, with your-" the dalish woman grinned wide and it finally dawned on Sera, she gave a slight jab in Sylvira's side and chuckled, "Arse."

"I'm sorry for being too hot?"

"Shut up. I meant it's your fault with yer heavy breathing, can'tcha breathe like normal?" _Not when I'm a little more tuned to changes in the air, though magic'll set her off._

"It's a little hard when I'm trying to sleep on fire. We seriously can't be in our underclothes?"

"What if the kids come in and see, dumbass?"

"For fuck's sake they're sleeping," the mage hissed, "Something we _would_ be doing if we shed these bothersome layers." An idea struck Lavellan and she turned on her side towards the rogue, "Only one other way then."

"The hell are you-" Sera was pulled in closer and the mage draped half her body over Sera by slinging her leg and left arm over, effectively turning her into a body pillow. "Get off!" She tried to push Sylvira away by the stomach but the close proximity made it difficult to do much, "Are you tryna suffocate me ye daft tit?!"

"You make a wonderful body pillow," she laughed when she heard menacing threats below her as she casually rested her chin on top of the golden hair. "You conform to my flawless body _perfectly_ , almost as if you were made just for me."

"Shut up! Get off, too friggin' hot!" _Aw she missed how I complimented both of us at the same time.  
_

"I know I am," she grinned at another muttered threat, "I'm doing this for your own good," she leaned back and looked down to see Sera glaring up at her with killing intent in her razor sharp slits, _fuck is she ever sexy when she's angry._ "You'll pass out from heat stroke, I'll take care of the side effects as you're sleeping and you'll be able to catch up on rest."

"Take care of the side effects," the archer scoffed, "You mean molest me in my sleep," _always accuses me of this._

"You'd like it."

"When I'm awake!" Sera snapped and her eyes widened when the mage shared the look, the two gazed for a couple seconds until Lavellan suddenly grinned, _well now, this is a fact I'm glad that's confirmed._ "Shut. Up."

"Now's our only chance Madhlea," the mage urged, "We'll never have a chance like this ever again you know."

"If we can't friggin' strip we can't fuck either ye daft twat," Sera pushed against Sylvira's stomach in a futile attempt to create distance from the woman smothering her.

"Uh, you do know what's going to happen when we get to Skyhold, right? What's supposed to, but won't and never will. Not without some planning."

"What, why?" _She seriously doesn't know?_ Finally the mage untangled herself and shuffled back, giving the rogue an incredulous look, "What? I can't see the future like you do miss smartiepants." _Uh… I don't know if it's a good idea to tell her._

"Well… The kids will be around, right?" _And I'll do whatever it takes to atone what I've done to them._

"Okay? Just like before. And?"

"And they'll probably be in my chambers more often." _They'll have all the luxuries I can afford. Nothing but the best, spoil the fuck outta them._

"Waiting for this to make sense, luv."

"I'm officially declaring myself their guardian," her heart swelled a little at that, Lavellan felt slightly giddy and incredibly nervous at the same time, _but a big sister still, not a foster mom. I'd only speed up Corypheus's work._

It seemed Sera had the same thing in mind and she pursed her lips as she tried not to laugh, "Are you tryin' to blow up the world?"

"Hey, I'm not that bad. I'll be their Big Sis still. They'll have all the freedom they want and can do whatever they feel like without me nagging them, they're smart girls so I've confidence they won't get into trouble." _They're too smart, they'll be the ones causing trouble and probably playing pranks too._ "I'll just watch over them, teach them stuff when I'm not out on business and saving the world, you know the usual no big deal kinda thing." Sylvira propped herself up on one elbow and rested the side of her head in her palm, idly tracing random shapes above the v-neck of Sera's shirt. "So now you know why it's not going to happen."

"Huh, what's not going to happen?" _Oh for the love of-that's what started this whole thing!_ The mage chuckled and shook her head, _she'll see eventually herself, at least then it'll motivate her to find the note,_ she cackled evilly in her mind, _I can't wait to see the look on her face. 'What the fuck you said it was in Skyhold ye daft twat!' I bet that's what she'll say, no doubt about it._

"Never mind." She poked out her tongue playfully before Sera protested, "That word also means 'you didn't get it the first time, so I give up trying to explain it'."

"Arsebiscuit."

"Mm~ that sounds delicious, I could go for one. Paired with a couple brownies and-" the archer's eyes widened with horror and Lavellan quickly corrected herself, "I don't mean **that** , fuck what kind of shit do you think I'm into, seriously? Wait don't answer that, I meant cookies and real brownies." When Sera visibly relaxed the mage chuckled and she'd remembered something, her finger tracing a circle on the rogue's chest slowed, "Hey..." She averted her gaze and her eyes remained glued to her finger, _will she even remember?_ She mumbled, "Remember that time you asked about baking cookies? Want to, when we get back to Skyhold? It'll be some fun for the kids too if they want to learn and stuff." She missed the look entirely as she continued to murmur, unsure of how her idea would be taken, "You'd better make the mixture though. I don't want to poison us if the kids will-" she'd suddenly found herself pushed on to her back with something heavy straddling her abdomen, her lips smothered by Sera's in a hungry kiss. _Uh… Is this telling me to shut up or is this a yes?_

"Idiot," the archer whispered huskily and her tongue delved inside Lavellan's mouth, "Loser," rude words yet filled with nothing but affection. The mage's eyes were open as she stared at the woman above her, the pits of her stomach buzzing pleasantly and she'd felt the subtle pang in between her legs, _I don't get it. She's not naked, and we're kissing like usual._ Another tiny ache, _the beginning stages of arousal usually need a sexual stimulus or something pleasing to the eye, doesn't it?_ _That's how it typically works anyways,_ she held Sera by the hips, her right thumb sneaking under the shirt and tracing idle circles on the sticky skin from the humidity, _then again rules don't apply to her._ _But she is most definitely pleasing to the eye, mine anyways, so maybe that's why._ They'd been reminded of the intense heat when they'd part to breathe, their heavy breaths adding to the humid air in the suffocating tent, _we're going to make each other pass out like this. Not a bad idea._ "You always do this," Sera lowered on to her elbows as she grinned at the mage beneath her, "You piss me off, make me hate you, but then you do shit like this and make me-" she abruptly cut off and sealed their mouths together. _Make her what?_ Her calm composure threatened to crack and her heart beat erratically when the archer ghosted over her lips as she whispered, "Timber~ Syl..."

 _Her, too? Why did she wait for me to admit it, when she's the expert on feelings?_ "S-so," _you're falling too,_ Sylvira cursed the stuttering and the rogue's lips curled into a smug smirk, "Does this mean we're going to bake cookies then?" Stomach buzzing stronger, Sera craned her neck and gently nipped the mage's throat, _fuck, is she going to answer or not?_ The heat intensified and little tingles crawled inside her skin, a shiver shot up her spine when her legs were eased apart by the knee that nestled against her core, _didn't she say we can't because of the kids? What changed her mind?_ Her right hand slid under the shirt and traveled behind, her fingertips brushing along the small of the archer's back, _erratic, I can't ever gauge her._ "Sera?"

"Didjya forget, luv?" The husk in her voice sent electricity running along Sylvira's nerves as desire coursed her system, she'd wanted to rip off their clothes when Sera grinned coyly as she threw back words from long ago, "We could always bake in bed if you know what I mean." The knee nestled against the mage's core pushed and the friction sent sparks dancing inside her veins, both of their hips rocked in a synchronized slow pace. _Experience truly is better,_ Lavellan took little mental notes and paid keen attention to the rogue's actions, _theory_ _means_ _little without testing._ Sera pushed away the dangling ends of the scarf and shimmied down lower to the mage's thighs, rolling the shirt inch by inch as she teasingly grazed her canines over the hip bone, _fuck,_ _why'd she move away? The_ _knee_ _felt good,_ with nothing to do with her hands, they fell by her sides and she rose on her elbows until she'd been promptly shoved back down. "Stay on your back," Sera ordered, the hoarse tone hadn't make things any easier and the mage's urges grew stronger each second, "Just relax and enjoy, Syl."

"I want to observe and learn," Sylvira blurted and the archer's eyebrow rose in confusion, _she needs to know before we do this_ _and I can't hide forever. I don't want to wait anymore._ "I've another confession for you, if you're interested." _I know she'll be pissed now, but maybe I'll get lucky in Skyhold._

"Uh… Okay, but can ya just quit bouncing 'round everywhere Syl? Yer always losin' me, luv."

"It all connects together, I assure you," the mage gently nudged Sera off of her and reached for her over-stuffed satchel. _Always_ _carry this_ _just in case,_ she pulled out two tomes, the trusted Pala Ghi'lin and another she bought in a small village en route to Val Royeaux. She sat up and reluctantly handed the books to Sera, who eyed it warily before hesitantly taking both from her, _she'll understand the second one, since it's not in elvhen._

"What are these?" The archer's eyebrow rose as she skimmed the pages of the second tome then looked up, "I don't get it, so you're a perv who reads. I already knew you'd do this kinda shite so what kinda conf-"

"I've never had sex before," her eyes hollowed for a brief moment and her tone fell flat, "Not consensually anyways." Having little emotional association with the act itself, she easily settled into technical mode and spoke neutrally, "I've only ever had to perform services for men but not women." She sighed at Sera's frown then grabbed the tomes and tossed them on top of her satchel, "I've been studying these so I'd have an idea of what to do for you, and have additional services to offer you." The rogue's face contorted and Lavellan braced herself for the shitstorm she's instigated, _she's upset I've lied and led her on this entire time, perhaps I should have waited until Skyhold_ _instead._ She smiled guiltily, hoping it'd appease the coming rage at least a little bit, "Lame, I know. All that big talk and," she rubbed the back of her neck, "No show."

Leaning back on her palms on the pelts she casually folded her legs, "You're the first person I've willingly kissed, touched, slept beside, willingly everything pretty much." She couldn't bring herself to look at Sera, shame filled her and her pride demanded she promptly shut up, _she's worth it, worth the truth._ _And, after all,_ _I've_ _just_ _told her_ _lying has_ _stopped._ She chewed on her lip in worry, _this_ _'ll prove what I've written on the note_ _once she finds it_ _._ "I'm sorry," her eyebrows furrowed, "For giving you the impression that I actually know what the hell I'm doing but," she smiled pathetically as she mustered the courage to look up at the slack jawed archer, "I haven't a single clue apart from theory and what the tomes teach, which experience naturally trumps since everyone's body reacts differently." Reaching in a protective pocket in her satchel she took the glasses and slipped them on, "Surprise? I'm your average bookworm bluffing her-"

"Shut it." Sylvira winced as the venom nearly dipped from the rogue's tongue, _of course she'd be angry, I've been lying to her all along with all my talk._ "All this time," Sera clenched her hands into tight fists and she rose on her knees as she grabbed the collar of the mage's scarf, "You kept pushing for it. And it wouldn't have been special for you, it's got to be-"

" **That's** long and gone Sera, just as it has been for you, yes? Technically it wouldn't have been special for you either," _she's made it quite clear she's no stranger to intercourse, unless she has been posturing as well_ _which is_ _highly unlikely_ _._ "I've no delusions of some magical first time, well it'd be a first if magic _was_ involved, but sex is sex. It's purpose is for the body to-"

"It ain't just 'bout that! It's more than that," the archer crawled closer and hovered inches away from her face, "If that was the case you'd have fucked whoever else by now, like you said I been your first everything right? So don't say shit you don't believe Syl," _so_ _this is why she's angry?_ "Fuck." Sera's head hung low and her voice wavered, _her hair smells_ _nice even without scented oils_ _,_ "This entire friggin' time I thought that you were nothing but some freakin' perv that fucks whatever has legs." _I wonder how I gave her that impression when she's never seen it?_

"Stools are nice in particular." _Ah,_ _yes_ _. I can see how she's reached that conclusion when I blurt things out like that._ "Sturdy, too."

" **Shut.** **It** **.** " Sera glared at the dalish woman, "Quit it with the jokes and quit hiding." Grabbing Lavellan's wrist, the rogue pulled her forward and wrestled her back on the pelts, _what is she doing? I don't understand why this is that big of a deal to her,_ Sera quickly straddled her waist and lowered to capture her lips. _Wrong, this is wrong. At this rate she'll-_ she gulped when she felt her shirt roll up and Sylvira grabbed her hands to stop her, "What're you doing Syl?" _Th_ _is is_ _just as bad,_ _if not worse._

"Pity sex for our first time is just as bad," she smiled nervously, "I didn't confess for that purpose. I also want to earn the right, earn you." Reaching up she tucked the golden locks behind Sera's ears, "Do you feel guilty of everything we've done thus far without this piece of knowledge, is that why you're doing this?" A flash and the razor sharp slits looked away, "That's why I hesitate telling you these sorts of things about me, unless it's to explain why I can't live up to a certain expectation-yet. I don't want these types of feelings to be our reason," she gently pulled the archer down for a kiss, "I don't want to be a slave to anything anymore." _I am my own person._ "I want it to happen when it happens, maybe with a little bit of planning to create a steamy fantasy too. I'll take full responsibility for the planning of course, I've already got an idea. So," she grinned affectionately at the stunned expression, _not even an eye roll,_ "Let's be as we usually are. I'll continue with terrible jokes that make you smack me, you continue being a sexy force to reckon with when you're angry, eventually we'll get fed up and something magical will happen in the heat of the moment."

When the archer stared blankly at her, Lavellan had begun to wonder if it was the right thing to do, _I'm declining sex that technically was just about to be because of the heat of the moment. Now I don't make any sense_ _like her_ _,_ she'd been about to retract her statement until Sera murmured, a soft yet sad smile on her face, "Don't push me away again, luv." _What?_ She glanced down when Sera shimmied down to the hips and braced her palms on Lavellan's stomach, _she's doing her Fereldan dominating thing again, I like~_ _._ "You switch and act normal, yer pushin' me away." _Ah, I see her problem here,_ the dalish woman reached down and slid her hands around Sera's waist, _what an incredibly easy solution._ "Uh, what are you doing?"

"Pulling you closer?" Sylvira grinned when the rogue gave her a light thwack across her head, "Why are you blaming me for pushing you away when you're the one sitting farther?"

"Not what I meant and y'know it," Sera huffed exasperatedly, "Exactly what I mean, too."

"I'm not pushing you away, _darling_ ," the mage chuckled at the warning glare, "I'm pulling you closer." She jerked on the archer's wrists until Sera collapsed on top of her, _fuck this is a terrible idea, she's burning me up already._ "You're still feeling guilty, and like you said you either have sex if you want to or not. I don't, not yet, not like this." Weaving her fingers in the unkempt hair she smiled softly, "There's no reason to feel bad about it darling," _I like this pet name for her. She'll hate it forever and yep there's the angry look._ "Mee~ow~" she burst out laughing when Sera's expression suddenly went deadpan, to which the rogue countered by clamping her hand over Lavellan's mouth, _right can't be too loud. If the kids wake up in this h_ _umid heat_ _we'll all be miserable for hours to come._ "What? It'll make for some interesting foreplay if you're the dog and I'm the cat."

"That's just," the archer's lips pursed as she tried not to laugh, chuckles rumbled deep in her chest, "Fuck, is this the kinda pish you read in those books? That's just so fucked up Syl." Sera climbed off the mage's waist and stretched out her legs as she draped herself along Sylvira's side, _we're like Bull and Dorian now, with the sweating and pinning._

"Why else would you say woof?" Lavellan extended her arm out to the side for the rogue to use as a pillow, folding at the elbow so that her hand casually rested on Sera's shoulder. Her fingers danced along the skin sticky from the humidity and her heart beat a little faster at the realization of how more evidence -reasons on 'why Sera and not someone else'- was thrown at her face, _Sera's still staying, despite knowing yet another damning truth_ _about me_ _._ _I_ _t's not for sex is it_ _?_

"Not for this reason that's for friggin' sure." _Mm, good timin_ _g._

"So which outfit should I ask Josie to find a tailor for, a mabari hound or a cleric?"

"I fucking hate you _so~_ much right now." Knowing exactly what was meant, the mage retorted cheekily with a sloppy lopsided grin plastered on her face, _if she won't say it then neither will I._

"Ditto, darling." Laughter bubbled in the back of her throat at the muttered threat of arrows and she sang playfully, "Mee~ **ow**!" _That pinch really hurt!_

* * *

Once morning came, everything had been packed up and even Lavellan helped, teaching the children little tips and tricks to which Sera stepped in and taught them how it's actually done. _Syl don't have a fucking clue, she's never even rolled up a friggin' tent._ Even she couldn't deny feeling giddy when the mage would sit and learn with the kids, adorable curious looks on all their faces, _this is like family now, innit?_ She'd steal worried glances and felt a tinge of sadness, the woman had been practically glued to the kids now and they hadn't even kissed or anything since they rolled out of bed. _She can't play family when we get back to Skyhold, the fuck's she gonna do?_ _She can't juggle all this shit, probly thinks she can though. She'll lose it again in no time if she tries._

 _ **Uh, you do know what's going to happen when we get to Skyhold, right? What's supposed to, but won't and never will. Not without some planning.**_

A disappointed sigh, _now I know, yeah._ It still took some time wrapping her mind around the woman's confession, _whole time daft tit kept pushing when it wouldn't have meant fuck all to her in the beginning, just how many secrets is she hiding?_ She stole another look and chuckled when Sylvira took turns lifting the kids so that they could pet the carriage horse's nose, but the best was when the mage walked over to Bull and the look the qunari had on his face when Lavellan lifted the kids to pet his horns was priceless. _But it'd mean somethin' now, right?_ She finished tying the bundle of pelts and secured it to her own mount, startled out of her reverie when she felt arms wrap around her waist. Her heart rose to her throat and her stomach fluttered at the sound of the melodic voice singing cheerfully, "Good morning~ darling~" _I'm gonna smack her if she keeps callin' me that, even if the kids see it._ Bees buzzed in her tummy and she cursed it, _fuckin' honey tongue, she's doin' this on purpose!_ "Thanks for saving me earlier. Evidently I shouldn't teach knots," she could _hear_ the perverted look, shuddering when Sylvira craned her neck and whispered directly in her ear, "You're an expert at tying things up. I'll keep that in mind for future plans." _She's still her, even with all this rubbish._

"Loser," the archer murmured affectionately then paused, she glanced over her shoulder with her eyebrow risen in curiosity, "Future plans?" _This kinda shite shouldn't be planned, just happen, more fun._ "You mean ya-"

"I did say I already had an idea, yes?" Lavellan had a wicked cheshire grin, "It's unavoidable, I don't want to accidentally expose the kids after all." _Oh yeah that'd be_ _really_ _fucking bad._ "Don't worry darling," an eye twitch, _that's really getting on my nerves and she knows it. Just like it does for her when I say 'simple' heh, fair's fair._ "It's not like it's a step by step process where I say step one, Sera takes something off, step two, I take something off." Sera chuckled at that, _that'd be_ _so_ _weird,_ _but kinda funny_ _._ "It may be a little bit like chess though," _ugh,_ _her and that stupid game._ Sylvira laughed when the rogue groaned, "What's wrong with taking turns until one of us is defeated? Or it could be cards, we can play a game of 69? So many games, so many options."

"Now yer talkin'," the archer turned in her embrace and rose on her toes as she tugged on the scarf to bring Lavellan down for a kiss. _Too clever, talkin' in a way the_ _kids_ _won't get it._ She smiled against the soft lips when the children began making mocking sounds as they teased the two, they parted to laugh when Bull joined as Dorian face palmed. _I'll needa watch what I do 'round them too,_ she paled a little at that, _what if I can't party no more, oh shit what if I can't swear?_ She looked up at the tall woman and her eyebrows furrowed, _we won't play Wicked Grace no more coz Syl only plays for clothes. Hope she really do have a plan for all this shite._

"Alright kiddos!" Lavellan spun on her heel theatrically and walked with a bounce in her step towards them, _whatta weirdo._ She took Grâce and Uvun's hands to help them climb inside the carriage, and Sera's heart swelled when she heard the tender whisper, "Let's go back _home_." _Not_ _just_ _'Skyhold'._

* * *

After the first couple days of getting the kids used to their newly renovated quarters on the battlements -originally for Uvun until adjustments had been made- and lecturing that the tavern was off-limits for them, Sylvira tiredly tumbled in to the war room. She'd reluctantly set about her Inquisitor duties that she'd been desperately putting off, still in denial of the cruel reality that she had to do such boring work, _while Sera just gets to fucking party in the tavern and shoves it in my face too, so unfair_. It'd already been a long and grueling day spent on educating the restless kids on varying subjects, studying magical theory with Dorian and running experiments by herself in the mage's tower. It was all a desperate effort to try to get rid of the brand in her palm, she'd grown weary of seeing it when the bandages were off and annoyed at how often she needed to change them, _perhaps I should wear a glove like Josie suggested?_ _No I can't stop and give up yet,_ _I will find another way._ _I_ _f I can't burn it away with my own magic then I'll use it somehow instead_.

As she lifted the first page of the stack of reports waiting for her, she'd broken a new personal record: it only took the first line of one report to give her headache this time. "Well, there it is. I've been waiting for this," Sylvira let out a sigh and rubbed her temples as she tried to read the entirety of the report instead of trashing it, "The stupidest fucking thing I'll read all day." Her head snapped up when the doors to the war room opened and frowned at who entered, _she followed me here to curse me with more work, no doubt about it._ "Everyone brings joy to the war room. Some when they enter and some when they **leave**." _The one woman I_ _refuse_ _to compliment for torturing me like this,_ _don't matter how pretty she is._

"Good evening to you as well Inquisitor," Leliana smiled as she approached the war table with a long rolled up parchment, her smile growing into a pursed smirk when she glanced at which report the mage was reading, _uh huh. I'm on to you._ "While Dagna is working on reconstructing the crystal, I have come with a plan on how we can sneak an agent into Calpernia's camp." _Normally I appreciate her being straight to business, but I don't want to work anymore._

"Does it involve throwing lanterns at people who need to lighten the fuck up?" A shake of the head and the mage groaned, "Leliana, I absolutely fucking refuse to do any more unnecessary work, which is punishable by death remember? I'm going to set this place on fire soon."

"Mason Gatsi had that covered." _What? Oh right, the big boom. Too bad he blew the_ _library_ _up when I was in Val Royeaux._ "In any case, I was able to secure layout schematics but wanted your opinion before I instruct my agent which route to take."

"Alright," Lavellan gestured with her hand for the Spymaster to hand over the plans, "Let's just get this shit done and over with." As she unrolled the parchment on the table, she nibbled on the ends of her lopsided ponytail and hummed softly, bouncing on the balls of her feet as her eyes soaked in the details. _What a roundabout way, there's still danger no matter where_ _they_ _go and this lengthy route is just stalling death. Cally_ _will_ _have runes there like_ _the Magister_ _did._

"Here," Leliana leaned forward and braced one hand on the table, the other pointing and tracing a line she'd drawn, "My agent can go through the catacombs connected to the cellar, if they wear a disguise they can cut through the antechamber and-"

"This route will be faster here, they can take this service corridor." _Less_ _traps_ _, can't tell her that or she'll_ _ask how I'd know._

"Well, yes... But that puts them in danger."

"Then they'll just have to **not** die, won't they? If I couldn't do anything because I'd be 'put in danger', I would be locked up in my fucking chambers all day. I'm certain there would still be something that'd kill me there," _like the kids flattening me or Sera choking me._ "The faster the agent gets in and out, the better. We need all the information we can get once Dagna is able to ensure the receiving crystal works." _Anything it takes to get an edge on Cally._ "That is all, dismissed." Leliana seemed conflicted for a moment then shook her head and bowed, she turned to leave and the dalish woman sighed, "Insensitivity is authorized, remember?" _Doesn't seem like it, but she's probably pissed off. She's hiding something,_ "You even have permission to speak your mind now." _I_ _still_ _don't get why they haven't, before._ _Maybe she wants an invitation too?_

Nothing, the Spymaster merely glanced over her shoulder and offered a sad smile, "I've been uncertain whether I should say it but… I am sorry for what happened in Val Royeaux. My condolences, Inquisitor." And with that Leliana left swiftly, leaving the mage to her own devices as she brooded over the grim reminder she'd been working to forget. _That's it, I'm done for the day. Any more and I'll ask Gatsi to help me blow the war room up too._ She glanced back at the _stupidest-fucking-thing-I've-read-today_ and reached for her quill, dipping it in the ink pot and scribbling her answer on the bottom of the report. _I need to blow off some steam,_ _and I know just the dynamite to use_ _._ She patted her pockets and felt the one folded parchment inside as she looked through the window to see where the sun was in the sky, _sex-thirty, the perfect time to run the next experiment._ She left the mess on the table as is and with a coy smirk plastered on her face, she continued to her next destination: the tavern.

 _I see your problem here, but you forgot to calculate the fuck I don't give._ _I'm not sending soldiers just to herd pigs and cows, this job is r_ _idiculous_ _._ _Stop_ _messing with me Josie, I know this report's bogus. Or the farmer is._ _Or both. Quit laughing with Leliana too. Jerks._ _-Inquisitor_

* * *

Watching from the roof beside her room, Sera waved when she'd noticed Lavellan storm down the steps from the keep, _whoa her shoulders are almost up to her ears._ She'd watched with concern when the dalish woman hadn't even noticed her, _must be real tense, been a couple days and all she's done is read and work again._ Her heart faltered with disappointment and she tried to cast out the promise of baking, _she probly forgot,_ along with the plan to play 'chess'. In bed. _She can't have forgotten that too… Maybe just nervous?_ In the mage's spare time if it wasn't work, it was playing -or rather educating- the kids in things like math or writing, and even those two had grown bored from all the lessons but no actual games. _Ain't good, she needs to lose a bit o' that tension,_ she smirked coyly, _that's where I come in._ Jumping down the roof to follow the unsuspecting woman into the tavern, she'd pursed her lips and tried to stifle her laughter when she saw the dangling ends of the scarf disappear from her view at the top of the stairs, _she's goin' to my room and I just friggin' came from there._ _Usually_ _pay_ _s_ _attention,_ _musta been a rough day for her_ _._

"Hey, Sera!" Bull called from the back, "Boss is lookin' for ya, she just went up!" _I know,_ the archer waved in thanks and played it off like she didn't, walking upstairs and heading to her room. To her surprise, it'd been empty and she looked around, her head tilted in confusion, _the heck?_ She went back to the railing and looked up only to catch a glimpse of the scarf on the floor above, _why would she go up there to look for me?_ With a shrug she jogged up the next set of stairs and glowered at the spot she'd known Cole usually lurked at -which thankfully he hadn't been- but so wasn't Sylvira. With nowhere else to go she climbed the last set of stairs and head into the small tower the tavern was connected to, and her eyes immediately honed to a dagger with a red ribbon wrapped around the hilt that stabbed some parchment to the bed frame. Carefully making way across the wreckage of papers, tomes, apples, cheese wedges, axes, paintings, and Maker knows what else the patrols have for whatever reason brought here, Sera grabbed the bottom of the parchment stabbed to the bed and pulled down to rip it out of the dagger's hold. Her eyes lit up and her lips spread in a grin at the sight of the messy penmanship, chortling as she read along, **_this_** _again._

 _Good day, Red Jenny Sera. You must be tired after everything we did in my dream last night. I am going to get straight to business, just like how you like it. I've one question to ask you, pick the most correct answer._

 _Sex with me?_

 _a) ye_ _s_

 _b) of course_

 _c)_ _right_ _now_

 _d) all of the above_

 _The correct answer is d) all of the above. Congratulations, you've won a prize! Across Skyhold I have left little notes for you indicating where I have gone. You aren't allowed to speak to_ _anyone_ _but Bull regarding to where_ _I went_ _, so no cheating and asking patrols._ _To retrieve your prize, you must find me. I look forward to seeing you soon, darling._

 _*_ _S2 Syl_ _*_

"Already asked Bull and now I'm here," Sera looked around the room and whispered, "Shit, where's the second note saying where she went?" _Dumb game, so much for straight to business._ One of the patrols walked in and she felt silly, snooping around the room and searching for this note as the soldier gazed in confusion before shrugging and walking back out. _She's probly thought of where I'd look,_ the archer rested her hands on her hips as she took stock of the wreckage in the room, her eyes scanning and nitpicking every detail, _the heck…?_ "Maybe Bull has it?" Her first guess was the bed but there'd been nothing on top of the sheets or pillows, so on a hunch she lifted the blankets and grinned, "Hah!" The second note lay, wrinkled as if sitting there for hours, _must've had this shite in her pockets for a while._ She unfolded the piece of paper and read the direction, paling immediately as her stomach twisted with nausea, "Oh fuck no…"

 _Outside_ _the mage's tower. Not inside, you blew up a quarter of my experiments during our romantic jog. Outside's okay isn't it?_

"No, outside is not okay," Sera grumbled as she sighed and set off on her not-very-merry way, running out the right side and on to the battlements. _That shit was fuckin' scary,_ she passed the first empty tower and the feeling of dread intensified just at the sight of the mage's tower, _I didn't even do nothin' either._ "Don't wanna go near there, better have-" she paused when she noticed another dagger with a red ribbon laying on the ground, beside the stairs leading off the battlements and where the Seeker usually abused straw-dummies. She lifted the dagger and picked up the parchment underneath, unfolding it and letting out a sigh of relief as she grumbled at the first line, "Got that right..."

 _I figured_ _outside's not okay_ _, but this_ _is_ _safe right? Anyways, take the stairs down here and down to the prison cells,_ _go_ _to the_ _very_ _end._

"Fuck, why'd she go there? I don't wanna frig in a fuckin' cell Syl, what kinda weird shite are you into?" She groaned as she looked at the stairs, _at least they're all going down._ Steeling herself and giving her legs a quick stretch, she set off on her journey as she ran down the steps, past the blacksmith and to the prison. She frowned when she opened the door and saw the guard, every cell filled with a despondent woman or man, _some of 'em look familiar,_ she noted and her eyebrows furrowed, _probly people not really on our side. Fuckin' arseholes… Alright, right, no point gettin' angry. Very end time._ Without a second thought she brushed past the guard, determined to stay true to not cheating, _plus it wouldn't be any fun._ As she opened the door her jaw dropped and eyes widened, the chilling air froze the insides of her nostril at once, the scent and sounds of the waterfall below overwhelmed her senses. _What the fuck, we had a place like this?!_ She glanced around, swallowing the lump in her throat when she'd noticed a dagger with the red ribbon.

Perched at the very end of the extremely shady-looking scaffolding.

"'Kay what the fuck. How the hell did Syl even make it there? Her balance is shit, she'd have fallen and killed herself tryin' to get there." With a sigh, she steeled her nerves and paid acute attention to anything that would indicate the creaky deck beneath her giving way and probably leading to her gruesome death. Confidence in her balance, she'd carefully inched her way to the end and knelt down, reaching forward for the dagger stabbing the parchment to the lone plank. "I bet she shit herself trying to do this one," warmth welled up in her, _willing to do whatever it takes for me, even if it's completely fuckin' stupid._ She unfolded the parchment and her expression fell, "Seriously," she murmured deadpan, "Really."

 _I used magic. Yes. Yes_ _really_ _. I'd have died otherwise,_ _and you'd be heart broken I'm sure_ _. Anyways go back up, it's as fun as I thought it would be watching you run around._ _When you finally make it up these mother fucking stupid ass stairs and cheer that you can finally see the sky again, look to your right. There are two crates near the door to the armory, search behind the very first crate closest to you._

"Fuck," Sera gulped nervously as she opened the doors and looked up at the monster staircase about to make her legs scream profanities. _There's no way, Syl_ _had_ _to climb up these too, so it's not so bad._ She grinned at the mental images of the mage dying, crawling on her hands and knees as she sweat buckets, _can't be too far ahead of me either, if she just started planting all of these._ "Alright, let's get this shit over with!" Easier said than done. Up the first set of stairs and about to embark on the second, her thighs were begging for mercy and threatening to give up on life. _Fuckin' prick,_ she gasped for air and took a quick break, _how's she watching and planting at the same time? Definitely gotta be close then._ Eventually she'd inched her way up the second set, tumbling through the door and resting her hands on her knees as she heaved to sate her starved lungs, _I'm gonna kick her fuckin' ass for this!_ Resolve fueled and fire roaring, her head snapped to the right and she marched to the crate closest to her, hovering and bending over to reach for the dagger pinning the paper beneath it. In the distance she heard a whistle of appreciation and the parchment twitched in her quivering hands, her head snapped around and her eyes searched for the intruder. "Yer beggin' for an arse whooping, Syl!"

 _Nice_ _ass_ _._ _The last note is with Bull, see you soon darling._

"Fucking **bitch** ," Sera spat vehemently, all the parchments crumpled in her hand as she stomped back to the tavern. Once again she'd been played, _all I had to do was go talk to Bull_ _again_ _and this would've never happened._ She kicked the door open and the qunari rose his hand to greet, a cheerful glint in his eye as he boomed.

"Yo! Boss gave me this note, said if I see ya to give it you. I didn't peek, wanted to, almost did anyways here you go." Without another word the archer ripped the parchment out of his hands, furiously unfolding it and groaning out loud, her anger reached it's zenith.

 _Back to the beginning, the first place you looked for me._

"Oi, Bull." Sera's face contorted and her eyes flashed dangerously, filled with killing intent, "If you hear Syl screaming, don't worry. I'm off to fuck her… With arrows." The qunari seemed as though he was going to protest in concern, but the warning glare promptly sealed his lips and the rogue stomped up the stairs. The door to her room was closed, _she was watchin' through the window, that fuckin' shitbag!_ Seconds after she tumbled through the door, she hadn't reacted quickly enough to the presence that used it as cover. Lavellan wrapped her arms around the archer's waist within seconds and pulled her for a fierce kiss, _oh~ no she's not getting off with a friggin' kiss._ Tough thoughts for someone currently kissing back with just as much determination, her blood boiled with fire, her skin shuddered with the chills and her nerves danced with sparks.

"One of my predictions didn't do you any justice whatsoever," Sylvira breathed and launched an assault on the rogue's neck to distract her before she'd be smacked. "The second last note, when I wrote nice ass, I was entirely wrong." _Oi what the fuck!_ "Beautiful lass," the woman squeezed Sera's hips and parted, her intense gaze bore into the razor sharp slits flickering between anger and desire, "Magnificent ass. That's what I should have wrote," the archer gritted her teeth and ignored the way her stomach buzzed, torn in between what to say and Lavellan chuckled. "Breathtaking, you're the captivating force I imagined you to be. And you worked up quite a sweat, always a bonus."

"This another one of yer 'it's for your own good' and 'romantic jog' bullshit?"

"Hey just think, I had to plant all those notes this morning," _ugh knew something stunk with that first note,_ "Inform every patrol not to touch them or to give you any hints." _Where'd she even get all those daggers, from a fuckin' barrel?_ "And on top of that when I lured you to the first note I had to sprint down the left battlements, down those stairs, and back inside the tavern to your room in time for you not to see me. I was greatly rewarded for my strenuous efforts, I had  all the pleasure of watching you."

"Pleasure, huh, didjya frig yourself in here?" A light pang reminded her of the subtle ache between her thighs, the mental image that flashed across her mind spurred both mischief and want. "Owe me a show, Syl." Sera tugged on the scarf and shuffled backwards as she pulled the mage, Sylvira kicked the door closed, grinning as she was lead only to swiftly shift until she'd been behind the archer instead. _The fuck is she doing?_ An involuntary gasp spilled from her lips, the woman's right hand slid underneath the red shirt and wasted no time as it cupped under the swell of Sera's breast, the thumb teasingly rubbing small circles around the peak taut from arousal. _Fuck sake..._

"You still have a bit to learn about business, I see," Lavellan's warm breaths hit the tip of her ear and her muscles screamed for her to take action already, she'd sincerely wanted to rip their clothes off. _I can't, it's her first time… She's takin' too_ _fucking_ _long_ _though_ _, talking again._ _Talking's her damn foreplay._ "Out of the kindness of my heart I'll do you one better, darling," _she's pushing_ _it,_ _asking for a smack she is_ _._ "How's an interactive play sound? You can participate in the show."

"Fuck teasing and talking, luv," Sera shuddered as she felt smooth lips and the tip of a tongue trail kisses along her shoulder, paying keen attention to every single freckle. "Shut up and strip," _she won't, but worth a go._

"Awfully bossy and sassy of you, isn't it?" _Knew it._ "I've something else in mind," _obviously,_ "But I haven't seen if the kids have left the keep yet."

"Huh?"

"Well," the mage untangled herself much to Sera's displeasure, she'd already missed the warm hand even if it had been testing her nerves. Sylvira walked to the window sill then retrieved some long bottle of a sort as well as short but wide glasses. "I've got us the best rum they could ever make-" noting the frown she hastily spoke, "I bought it with my own coin, nothing to do with status or inquisiting it." _Does she shit gold or what? She's always got coin_ _, gotta come from somewhere…_ "In any case," the woman had a sly smile, "I was thinking dinner followed by a game of cards with drinks..." _Better mean what I think it means._

"So? What're we waiting for?"

"Uvun and Grâce are still probably playing in my chambers, they said they wanted to jump on the bed. I told them they had precisely one hour and 13 minutes before they had to get out." _So_ _mom-like,_ _not_ _._ _Does she think they're made outta energy?_

"They're probably," Sera licked her lips and tried not to chuckle, already knowing the woman's reaction, "Pooped and passed out on the bed then." Eyes wide, Lavellan averted her gaze to the ceiling and had that 'oh shit' look in her eyes, _jeez._ "C'mon luv," Sera nudged the mage back by the shoulders, "Let's go carry 'em to bed and then we can play, yeah?"

"There's something amiss," Sylvira murmured as they walked out, "They're practically made out of energy," _wow so she really did think it._ "Do you really think they used it all up?"

"They ain't you Syl," the archer casually shrugged, a small smile tugging on the corner of her lips when she saw in her peripheral vision the way Lavellan's head snap to her. "Soon as it's play-time you can go for hours." _Soon it'll be in bed instead._ "Me too."

"Got that right," the woman reached over with her free hand and intertwined fingers with Sera, pride filling her and a confident grin on her face, "Before we head to the chambers we need to pick something up from the kitchen." _Huh?_

"You made somethin' for a prank without me?" They'd both made tiny little grunts as they made it up the stairs to the keep, _fuck I_ _just_ _had to climb a whole buncha them, the heck's she grunting for?_ _Arse._

"Uh… Well I hope it's not a prank," _the fuck_ _'s that s'posto mean?_ "Before the game with you, I went to the kitchen for-well you'll see, I want at least some of it to be a pleasant surprise. But you can't look."

"Then why don't I go to your room?" Sera's eyebrow rose when the mage slowed down, the hand interlocking hers brought her back a few steps when she'd gone too far too fast. "Syl?" _She… Is she_ _worried 'bout something?_

"Sorry, I didn't really think this through apparently. I don't know what's with me today." Lavellan let go and rubbed her temples, "Yes, uh, yeah that sounds good." _What… The fuck?_ _Why's she look nervous?_

"Maybe that weird shite's happening to you again?" The rogue stepped in front of her and rose on her toes to get a closer look at the citron eyes, who'd been glued to the ground. "None of that blue stuff though."

"No, I'm fine." Sylvira steeled herself and sucked in a sharp breath before letting it out slowly, _never seen her like this._ "It's just, well just promise you'll keep what I do a secret, alright? I already bribed the cooks, you're buddies with them so let me know if they breathe a word of it," _word of_ _what_ _?_ "Just… Can you give me fifteen minutes? And look away when I come to the chambers? Oh, actually, there's reports in the war room, I saw something Jennies might be interested in. Can't remember what though," the woman had been zipping through her words again, just as she did when discussing ideas or schematics.

 _Jeez…_ Sera sighed and rested her hands on the mage's shoulders giving a light squeeze, _I've never seen her like this before, makin' me nervous too._ "Alright luv, I'll go check out whatever and you do your thing, okay? So come up in fifteen?"

"Yes. Yes that'd work, it'd give me enough time to set it up." _Set what up? Guess I'll know soon._ Lavellan leaned down and gave a chaste kiss on the rogue's cheek, "Sorry, I should've planned it bet-"

"Lotsa stuff on yer mind Syl," Sera chuckled, oddly feeling giddy about the peck on the cheek, "Always thinking, always planning." _Always needs everything perfect,_ _don't she get I like 'er being an idiot?_ "Don't needa do that with me, just relax, 'kay?" She gently tugged the woman's scarf and rose on her toes, giving a soft kiss on Sylvira's nose and snickering at the bewildered look on her face. _Probly thinks I missed._ She purposefully walked with a touch bit more sway in her hips as she head off towards the war room, lilting playfully and reveling in the disgusted looks of nobles within earshot, "See you soon, _darling_."

* * *

After the kids were ushered out, laughing mischievously with Lavellan hot on their heels, the archer shrugged and decided to enter the quarters. In the distance she heard the mage shouting for her to wait and she'd already climbed to the top of the stairs, confusion smacking her in the face at the new arrangement in the room. She'd heard the door slam behind her and footsteps rushing up the stairs, Sylvira had been breathing heavily from chasing the cackling children and murmured breathlessly, "Knew they were made out of energy..." _Gave her a hard time did they?_ _Good on them!_

"So… What the fuck's all this?" The amusement did not go unnoticed and Sera glanced beside her, the tall woman had a light blush on her cheeks and a nervous smile, _really rare for her to ever look like this, priceless_. There'd been a couple new spots on the carpet and a dry blood stain running down Lavellan's nostril, _she pushed herself tryna set this all up…_ The desk she usually worked at was situated against the bed that still remained beside the fireplace, Sera snickered quietly when she noticed everything had been swept off the desk and joined the orgy of books by the bookshelves, _why's she got shelves if she don't use 'em?_

"I was hoping we'd have dinner first," uncertainty laced the accent, as if the mage still wasn't sure how to proceed. _None of this is goin' the way_ _she thought it would probly_ _, no wonder she's nervous._ "Uh I don't know if you do though. I cooked it." There'd been plates with utensils haphazardly thrown on top, and the center had something wobbling and _that is_ _not_ _food. What the fuck did she even try to make, jelly meat?_

"Easier ways to kill me luv," Sera joked lightheartedly, hoping it'd calm the woman somewhat. Sylvira let out a strained chuckle as she rubbed the back of her neck, "Alright well then. Where m'I sitting?" _Will I live?_

"You can," _I hope I can too,_ Lavellan glanced around then muttered something, briskly walking towards the couch and levitating that to be at the other end of the table, _she's pushing too much._ Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, the couch dropped abruptly and the mage wiped the back of her hand across her sweat-slicked forehead. "Wherever you'd like, either the bed or the couch." She strode to the desk and opened each drawer as she whispered under her breath, "Candles, the book mentioned something about candles too." _Andraste what'd I step in?_ The archer let out a small sigh, _she's gonna blow,_ instead of sitting Sera rounded the desk and turned Sylvira around by her hips, "Sera?" The look of confusion mixed with worry and nervousness had been adorable, _ain't right to let 'er keep going like this._ "I take it you want to sit on me?"

Instead of answering the rogue slid one hand around the nape of Lavellan's neck and tugged down with the scarf again, forcing the mage to bend and meet her lips. She parted with half-lidded eyes, different emotions stirred within her at the weary lines etched in the usually-carefree face. "I don't get this Syl, why ya doin' all this?" _Trying so damn hard, it ain't like you._ _Don'tcha know you don't need_ _to?_

"I wanted," Sylvira briefly looked away then back, audibly swallowing and straightening out a little as she sighed. She raked her hand through her bangs only for the thick locks to fall back into place, "It got me thinking, when I said our first time wouldn't be special regardless because… Well you know. So… I thought, I don't know, I thought that was kind of bad?" _Zippin' through her words again, sheesh._ "So I wanted to do something neither of us have done before, so it'd be, well, sort of special at least. Though," the mage let out a dry chuckle, "Now that I think about it, me cooking was a very bad idea. Poisoning you is not-" she'd been silenced when Sera couldn't take it anymore, tugging on the scarf and forcefully locking their mouths together. She slid her arms around Lavellan's neck, one hand wrestled off the knot keeping the lopsided ponytail up until the thick locks fell. She'd never admit it out loud but she thought the mage looked prettier that way, and liked the feeling when strands occasionally brushed against her cheeks or shoulders.

" _Luv_ ," she whispered fondly against the mage's lips in between kisses, "It's you. It's already special." _Lookit you, turnin' me into a honey tongue too._ The surprised look and the citron swirled with multitudes of emotions was too much to handle, excitement and adrenaline coursed through her blood. "With a capital L for loser, luv." She clamped her mouth over Sylvira's, the force of the kiss pushed the dalish woman back against the desk who'd just as eagerly reciprocated the hunger and desire.

"I don't understand," Lavellan muttered in between breaths, "I don't get any of this, Madhlea."

"Not s'posto, shut up and kiss." The archer nudged her into the desk, Sylvira glanced over her shoulder and in an instant everything that'd been set up on the table levitated. One by one the plates were promptly thrown outside in the balcony, the two women chuckled at the distant echoes of clatters and crashes.

"I can't believe you were seriously willing to eat what I made and risk death," the mage murmured into her neck, the hot breaths made shivers run up and down Sera's back and she clutched the scarf tighter, "I don't understand. It just doesn't make sense..." The rogue huffed impatiently and Lavellan's lips spread into a smirk as she kissed the exposed part of the freckled shoulder, "Right, shutting up."

"That's what I thought."

"Really weird because I followed the instructions in the book too, and-"

" **Syl**!"

"Right. Okay," another nervous breath and Sera relaxed back on her heels as she looked up, _now what_ _'s with her_ _?_ "Step one. Sera takes something off?"

"Seriously." The archer laughed until she'd realized Lavellan was serious and calmed quickly, _she really… Don't have a clue how to do this huh?_ "Syl just," Sera stepped back and easily stripped her shirt, a sly smirk plastered on her face as she shot the mage's words back, "Go with the flow, do what feels natural." The dalish woman chuckled softly and nodded slowly, _none of it is,_ _not for her._ The rogue shrugged and reached to push the straps of her bra off her shoulders before Sylvira leaned forward and grabbed her wrists, bringing them lower so that her hands were at the bottom of the mage's shirt.

"Step two, I take something off." Sera mirrored the smug grin, hooking her fingers at the rim and somehow managed to wrestle the shirt over the scarf, _wonder if she's gonna keep it on? Weirdo_. The dalish woman stood and craned her neck, trailing soft kisses along Sera's cheekbone and gently nibbling the tip of her ear. _Fuck,_ determined to give Lavellan the time she needed to explore and figure things out her way, the archer restrained herself from any sudden movements that would end up startling her. _Least she ain't so nervous anymore._ She'd noticed any time the mage moved, touched, reached, it'd always be first and foremost the right hand, _she's not gonna take the bandages off either, probly._ "Let's move to the bed."

"Carry me."

"Carry yourself."

"So romantic, lazy arse," Sera laughed and grabbed the ends of the dangling scarf, the two rounded around the desk and the rogue side-stepped to be behind the woman, shoving her forward and smirking at the ungraceful way she fell on the bed. "Wasn't that the whole point of doin' this dinner or whatever?" _Not that I care. Prefer this._ "Where's the poncyfart wine and rose petals?" _And she knows I don't._ A nonchalant shrug, the two shared a grin as the archer crawled over on her hands and knees, straddling Sylvira's waist. She took the ends of the scarf, "Lift yer head, I'm gonna tie it 'round your eyes." _Gonna help shut her brain off._ _Stop thinking 'bout everything._ She noticed the flicker of uncertainty and lowered on her elbows as she whispered in the mage's ear, "I'm callin' dibs on the first turn, luv. Stay on your back, relax and enjoy."

"Is this your Fereldan dominating thing?" _For the love of-seriously?_ Sylvira laughed and lifted her head as Sera deftly tied it around before she'd have a chance to change her mind. "How am I supposed to observe and learn?"

"Don't think 'bout what to do for me luv, we'll get there." Sera leaned back and sat on the woman's hips as she drank in the sight, paying acute attention to her senses. The fireplace crackled, the scent of mango had been much stronger though it lacked the certain musky smell she'd half-expected coming from below. _I'll fix that soon._ "Focus on feeling. And no fucking saying you don't get it, no friggin' tryna figure it out. Just **feel** , Syl." She smoothed her palms along the delicate skin, enjoying the feel of it against her hands, _always so soft_. Evidently Lavellan did too, if the sharp inhale and gooseflesh rising were any indication as such anyways, _love this_. She'd wanted to ask the mage if this too would be her first time, but she dreaded the answer and anger already crawled along her nerves. _First time it'll feel good, though._ _First time she's doing it coz she wants to._ "You're sure 'bout this?" _First time she'll be really free._

"Not really, I mean, am I supposed to? Is there a way to be 100% sure for this because I want to, but-" the archer ghosted her lips over Sylvira's to silence her, _I'm scared you'll flash, go back to when it wasn't good for you. Friggin' asked a stupid question, I did._

"Do you trust me?"

"Sera, I don't understand." Lavellan teased playfully and the rogue rolled her eyes, "Are you secretly about to kill me or something?"

"Not a secret if I tell," Sera chuckled when the woman reached up and tugged the bottom of the blindfold with her thumb, peeking with one eye. "I'm just-"

"Are you asking if I think I'll regret it?" A coy smile spread across Lavellan's lips as she released the blindfold and slid her right hand to the back of Sera's neck. She gently pulled and whispered against her lips, "I'll be honest, I think I might." The archer had been about to pull away but the hand at her neck kept her in place, _what the fuck then why's she-_ "But this time I  feel I won't regret it." A tender brush, a curious sweep of the tongue until she'd delved deeper into a sensual kiss, _honey tongue._ Suddenly laughter rumbled in Sylvira's chest and the archer rolled her eyes, "I'm wearing Too Many Breeches and I need help taking them off, Red Jenny." _This friggin' daft tit, I'd stuff the scarf in her mouth again if I wasn't kissing 'er._ When they parted for air, heavy breaths echoed in her ears, Sera gaped slack jawed at where the citron orbs would be had the scarf not been there to block them and her stomach buzzed with _the whole fuckin' forest_ at the heated whisper. "Show me **wild elves**."


	18. Life is Dice, Never Know What You'll Get

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** The troller rollercoaster ride for these two to make up their damn minds continues :D I promise it'll be settled next chapter though, and I'll seal the promise by saying the next chapter's title will be "Wild Elves" Because I mean… Really. There's no other way to take that ;) It's a mixture of cheesy and _ughh why you do dis_ in this chapter, prepare yourself! Also as for you Nyx sorry 'bout not responding to the reviews, I completely forgot to add that in the previous chappy and decided to leave it here lol. You're right in that the probability of Sera learning her lessons are **really** low, I'd imagine one as stubborn as her and hating change as much as her would remain rooted for a while, much like on her views for elfy and magical things. But yes, she has gotten understanding from it (it'll be reflected should a scene similar to that happen again), and thus far I'm thinking that this chapter will be the last 'misunderstanding' these two have now that Sera is finally -slowly- setting her pride aside as well.

And I share your confession, when I first started writing her Syl was my 'last on the list' and 'least exciting' of Lavellans to write, being that she has wit I don't have and the amount of brain work for me to try and play with words in order to create scenes that eventually lead to a O_O holy shit moment in the end lol. Syl makes my head hurt like how Terra makes Sera's head hurt lol. After the tourniquet chapter though, all of that began to change and now it's at the point where I'm obsessing over ways on her personality growth in which I want to show the 'end result Sylvira' to all of you right **now** , but there's all these blasted 10k slow-rolling chapters in the way lol. I'm glad I made you laugh! I'm hoping for at least one 'awww' in this chappy, you be the judge of that though lol. Our heroine will get action next chapter, sorry for any inconvenience this interruption has caused :P

 **Warning:** A little bit of Syl's past is further explored on in this chapter (and there will be more segments added in future chapters as well), there are implications of well… Not very nice things you might imagine a slave might deal with.

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Lasa adahl su nar masa:_ Shove a tree up your ass

 _Eolasan melo na:_ I know more than you, Syl is essentially saying "I'm smarter"

 _Haurasha:_ Honey/golden. Sexual slang for (I wonder what's wrong with me) "Juice"

* * *

 **Life is Like Dice, You Never Know What You'll Get**

* * *

Knock. _No, come on_ _._ Another knock. _This can't be happening_ _._ Series of knocks. "Fuck!" _This again?!_ Sera rolled off of her howling with sadistic glee and wheezing for air as Sylvira sat up and ripped the blindfold off, "Who the fuck is that?! If that's you Loranil I swear I'll rip your nutsacks off with my bare hands, what the hell happened to finding a new post?!" As the door still opened much to her dismay and the familiar clink of armored footsteps strode up the stairs, the mage threw up her arms, "Lasa adahl su nar masa Leliana! I have a Forbidden Oasis to explore here," the Spymaster made it to the top of the stairs and had a clearly amused smirk at Lavellan's angry rant, "Didn't you see the sign on the door?!"

"Sign?" Sera's eyebrow rose in interest as she continued to chuckle, biting down on her knuckles and bracing her aching ribs in a futile attempt to stop laughing. "I didn't see no sign."

"I stabbed it to the door after the kids left, and it-" she'd trailed off when Leliana revealed a bottle she hid behind her, with fancy looking envelopes in her other hand, "Demands a tribute of booze if the off-limits rule is defied..." Eying the bottle warily she glanced at the envelopes as she weighed the pros and cons of her decision. _Pro: free booze. Con:_ _work_ _._ _Rum, work. Rum… Work…_ "Fuck it," she exhaled and raked her hand through her disheveled hair, "Rum **while** working. Let's get this shit over with," she extended both hands and Leliana chuckled as she strode forward, placing the bottle in one hand and envelopes in the other.

"If it's any consolation, I had to go to Cabot to fetch this after I read your sign."

"Made you work before you make me work, fair trade I guess. Well," the mage wrestled off the lid and took a swig then passed it to share the drink with Sera, "Alright, what is this?" She hid the smirk behind the envelope when the rogue bumped into her, head laying against her shoulder as Sera presumably looked at the envelopes as well. _Not entirely professional,_ she glanced up at Leliana and dared the amused woman to comment with her eyes narrowing as a warning, _but she's interrupting me after office hours anyways, and in my fucking chambers. And she can clearly tell with both of us in our damn bras what the fuck was gonna happen. And she_ _still_ _has that smile, fuck this isn't worth the rum anymore!_ Before she could shove the envelopes back and snatch the bottle to give it to Leliana, the archer snickered and ripped open one of the envelopes, _huh?_ Her eyes widened as she saw the remnants of the royal orlesian seal and the invitation Sera now waved in front of her face, in all it's fancy glory.

 _Grand Duke Gaspard de Chalons requests the pleasure of your company for the Winter Palace Ball on Tuesday 18th Matrinalis 9:41 Dragon Age_

 _ **Ladyship Mai Bhalsych Of Korse**_

 _Please come dressed for the occasion_

 _Choose a mask and wear it well_

 _So your true identity, no one can tell_

"What the fuck?!" Sylvira gaped slack jawed and her head snapped to Sera who immediately descended into a fit of laughter, she stared at the rogue, "Y-you… How did you convince Josie to even write that? That's bloody brilliant!" At that realization dawned on her and Sera grinned when she'd calmed down, the Spymaster politely coughed into her fist, "T-this is the name… They'll announce at the court." Before the two mischievous elves had time to daydream and imagine as such, Leliana exaggeratedly coughed once again to garner their attention.

"In any case, Inquisitor, today is the 8th. Besides the one day set aside for the carriage trip, we have exactly ten days to prepare." _The 8th… So today is sexday! And tomorrow is suckday, Sera and I_ _must_ _do it tonight because tomorrow will just be lame._ "Josephine is already looking for tailors willing to come in last minute and will most likely want your opinion on the design of the uniform. Wo-"

"Red. Lots of red." She felt a slight nudge at her shoulder and smirked, _I want to be a Red Jenny too,_ "It'll make us stand out. Everything else she can make up," Lavellan rose and abruptly stepped behind the confused orlesian woman, gently pushing her by the back of her shoulders, "Go on. Go, there's an incredibly important task I **must** do right now. Are the invitations the only thing you came here for?"

"Yes," Leliana chuckled softly, knowing fully well what this 'incredibly important task' actually was. "And don't worry, the envelopes are not poisoned." It occurred to her just how rough and thick the fabric of the Spymaster's hood actually was, and brushed her thumb along it more, _she wears this shit all the time, doesn't it bother her?_

"I'd never even suspect you'd want to poison or choke the life out of me Leliana. Not even for a moment. Maybe smack though, there had to be at least one time you've wanted to." _Everybody else does_ _I'm sure, only Sera's allowed though._ They'd descended the steps in an awkward manner with Lavellan still pushing the orlesian woman along, trying not to trip over the dangling ends of the scarf that for some reason flew forward and around the Spymaster's greaves, _fuck this is troublesome. Note to self don't be behind people unless it's Sera._

"Maybe." _The one time I'm actually going to the door._ _All for Sera,_ Sylvira brushed past Leliana at the end of the steps and placed her hand on the cold handle of the door, _she's an exception to every rule._ _And why's this handle so fucking cold? Magic's better after all._

"Finally admitted it, anyways out you go. No else is allowed to bother me tonight, even if Coryphelus comes knocking." The mage opened the door and shoved her hands in the pockets of Leliana's breeches, "You've got something I can use to write with right?" The Spymaster stood awkwardly as Sylvira helped herself, pulling out some sort of short metallic thing and inspecting it with a curious eye, "What's this? I think I've seen Josie carry one of these before..." _Fascinating,_ _why don't I have one of these suckers?_

"It's a dip pen, Josie got me this one where I can connect this small tube here to feed the ink." _Josie_ _got_ _it for her, hm? Interesting..._ "That way I don't have to worry about quills and ink pots, and it writes rather fine," the two women were completely oblivious to poor bored Sera who merely sat on the stairs cradling her chin with both palms, watching as they talked excitedly about… A stupid pen. "If you'd like I can ask Josie to requisition one for you, she probably thought you knew but didn't want them."

"Yeah I want one, this'll come in handy. Way more practical than the quill and ink pot crap, less deadly than the wrapped lead too." Lavellan rotated the dip pen and carefully placed it to write on the parchment stabbed to the door, besides alcohol she added further payment knowing fully well _no one_ in their right mind would go through with it. "There we are..."

 _ **Inquisitor ruling: Entry is unauthorized.**_

 _Chambers are off-limits unless you have explicit permission from me. Which is highly unlikely. If you dare defy this absolute rule, you must pay tribute in booze… And coin. Two sovereigns just for knocking, five for entering. Ten if it's work-related. All fees negated if it's to party, booze still required._

"Much better," with an affirmative nod, the mage gave the pen back and spun on her heel, "Dismissed, later!" She'd barely missed the amused bow and whisper, her focus immediately snapped to Sera as she closed the door, "Let's try that again. Nobody should interru-" slight knocks at the door, her temper teetered and the archer guffawed with mirth. "This isn't funny!" _At least I'll be rich_ _if this'll happen all the time,_ she whipped the door open only to see Leliana point down, _huh?_ Following the finger's direction she glanced down and noticed how the one end of her scarf had been swinging, as if it'd been grateful for freedom, the Spymaster bowed her head again and waved as she walked away without saying another word. _Was my scarf… Stuck at the door?_

"You can't even answer doors, loser," Sera commented with a shit-eating grin and the mage shot a dry look at her, "Too bad Red saved you, I was waiting for ya to walk and choke."

"You'd like to choke me, wouldn't you, hm? _Passionately_ , of course." With one hand pushing the dangling ends away from the door, Lavellan closed it again and followed the laughing rogue up the stairs, confused when it hadn't been towards the bed. Instead Sera had plucked her shirt off the ground, "What are you doing?"

"Not in the mood anymore," the archer gave a slight shrug, "It's cold in here." _What an incredibly easy solution,_ Sylvira strode forward and stole the shirt then tossed it over her shoulder, her hands framing Sera's face and crashing their mouths together before any protests had been made of the shirt. _Then it's my turn instead, even better._ _I'd been slightly uncomfortable with Sera going first,_ _I wonder why, though? It was different before,_ she craned her neck and sucked in a patch of skin between her teeth, nibbling on the rogue's throat and trying not to grin when she felt the small vibrations, _she'll be screaming soon._ _And for the right fucking reason,_ _finally_ _._ "S-Syl, I'm cold," she whined, "Do this after I got my shirt on, luv." _I_ _'m not letting my chance slip away that easi_ _ly._

"No." Lavellan's hands wandered lower and she'd paid acute attention to the sensation of the skin as her fingertips brushed along, her eyes wide open and watching the side of Sera's jaw. She'd tuned in to the throat's vibrations making her own lips tingle, hoping that if the archer wasn't going to guide her then her reactions would. "I'll warm you up," she breathed huskily and trailed kisses along the freckled shoulder where gooseflesh indeed rose, _she's not bluffing just to stall, she really is cold._ With an arm wrapped around the small of Sera's back and pulling so that they'd been closely pressed together, she straightened herself out then nibbled the tip of the rogue's ear and murmured, "There's no other place I'd rather be." _Won't_ _even give me time to be a sappy romantic,_ she chuckled when she felt fingers hook under her belt, "Wait. This one's new with more traps, watch carefully," _for the future, so she'd know and not accidentally kill herself._ She gently pulled away and appropriately disarmed the buckle by pushing down a small lever on the edge of the clasp, her finger simultaneously slid under to push the button behind the rectangle buckle. "Same way as the last, but make sure you push down the lever at the same time as you're undoing the belt. This locks this itty bitty pulley gear that triggers the-"

"Don't care what it does. Take it off already," Sera reached forward and tugged the belt free with the buckle undone, the crisp clangs resounded in the air of the room and the gentle thud as she carefully slid the belt in her hand until it hit the ground. _Didn't take much to make her forget about her shirt, did it?_ As soon as the belt was safely out of reach, Sylvira wrapped her arms around the rogue and chuckled at the impatient huff of air that hit her breasts, _she's the right height indeed. I like~..._ _All that's standing in between me and heaven are these stupid bras._ "Take everything off." _So_ _commanding._

"Wait," another groan, the mage smirked when she felt the nimble fingers latch on to the waist band of her breeches, "I've much to tell you, darling." _F_ _luster her,_ _that'll start a nice bonfire._

"Shut up and strip." _I want to savor the look on her face, glad there's no blindfold._

"No," the mage grasped Sera's wrists and nonchalantly rested her chin on top of the unkempt hair, fighting the urge to laugh when she heard the menacing growl and threat of arrows. "I truly do have something to tell you."

"Get on with it then!" _So impatient,_ _at least she's not cold anymore._

Stepping back a small distance, Lavellan rose her left hand and smiled softly when the razor sharp slits quickly switched from anger to worry, eyes darting left and right as they stared at the bandages before meeting the citron orbs. "Normally, I don't believe in fate. I think life is a gamble and I roll the dice, but this mark is what brought me to you." Hoping it wouldn't backfire on her she slowly unwrapped the bandages, observing the archer's reactions like a hawk as she unpeeled layer by layer. "And as much as I hate to admit it the brand is pretty much what brought us together, or at least the events that resulted in it. Otherwise we'd have danced around each other for months to come, you'd still only know me skin deep because I'd have never confessed anything to you, ever."

"Syl..." As the last of the bandages fell, Sylvira's eyes glazed at the dull red lines in her palm, _I'll probably have to nullify it again_ _by tomorrow evening_ _._ She clenched and unclenched her hand a few times before flexing into a tight fist, her short fingernails digging into the brand and she winced at the biting sting, "I don't get this luv, what're you doing?"

"But you," the mage ignored her and continued, "Have carved your own mark in me against my will." She chuckled at the wide-eyed fearful look, she tenderly grasped Sera's hand and brought it up to where her heart thundered erratically, uncertain of how the archer would interpret this all, _it's always hard to gauge her reactions, she always takes everything differently_. "Right here." Her left palm smoothed over the back of Sera's hand and kept it there as her right brushed the unkempt blonde locks behind the rogue's ear, lowering and reaching to intertwine with the quivering fingers. "People say the mark I bear, handed down from blessed Andraste herself, is the anchor. People are wrong," nervous eyes met hers, _this has nothing to do with faith, but sooner or later it's an issue that will need to be addressed._ " **You** are my anchor."

A serene smile, the tiny dextrous fingers placed against her chest flexed slightly and she could have sworn the tips of Sera's ears flushed just the smallest bit. "Honey tongue..." _She still hasn't pushed me away, doesn't seem bothered by the fact it's my left hand over hers._ _Constant proof, every second,_ _I had no idea what was right in front of me for the longest time_ _._ "You done talking? I've got something to say too." _Well t_ _hat's new,_ _interesting_ _._ As soon as she nodded, Sera crashed into her with such force she had to focus on not falling first, her mind registering the hungry lips smothering hers soon after she'd been pulled down by the scarf. _Right, her actions are her words._ _I can certainly see the appeal with this type of communication,_ she smirked smugly against the archer's mouth, _she's quite persuasive as well._ "Wipe that look off yer face," Sera breathed as her hands worked on the laces tying the dalish woman's breeches, "Quit talkin' and teasing, fuck me already." _For someone who doesn't like words, she's_ _affected_ _by them_ _quite easily._ Waiting for the grand finale that was sure to make Sera scream one way or another, Lavellan chuckled when the rogue parted to strip her breeches off for her. "Wha…?" The look had been priceless, "How the hell?"

"I decided to mess with you and stole a pair of your leggings," Sylvira explained with amusement, the archer's look of confusion had been wildly entertaining. "Told you I'm wearing Too Many Breeches," she chuckled when Sera glanced up at her then back at the leggings, "Do you know how hard it was to put these on? Thankfully they stretch, but you're too damn short," a warning glare and she rested her hands on her hips as she looked down at the rogue who still knelt, "Going to work down there, then?"

"Shut up," Sera huffed and had a subtle smirk tugging at the corner of her lips, "Loser. You're so lame," she hooked her fingers along the waistband of the leggings, _here we go. This'll really get her._ As the tights were pulled down Lavellan stepped out of them and shuffled back to get an even better look, she'd burst out laughing and wrapped her arms around her ribs at the way Sera's eyes bulged and widened. "Wha...?!" The archer scooted forward and her hand plucked the folded parchment sticking out the rim of the underwear, "No way, no freaking way." Her fingers trembled as she unfolded the wrinkled paper, "What the fuck…" Her eyes darted left and right as she read, then angrily shot up, "You said it was in Skyhold ye daft tit!" _Aww so close! She said tit instead…_

 _My main reason why you and not anybody else is because your territorial ass has already laid claim to all of me, every single part._

"You never asked where it _currently_ was," Sylvira plucked the paper and waved it in front of her face, "And at the time it _was_ in Skyhold when you did ask. Look, it still is!"

 _'You ain't perfect, loser.' Words that have went against everything in my past. All my life that's what I strove for: perfection. If there was a single flaw, I was either abandoned or punished._

"On you! In your fucking underclothes!" Sera's eyebrows furrowed and her face slowly flushed, _there we go, it's starting to dawn on her,_ "When you stripped at the bath-"

 _Now, here's a woman who comes along and accepts who I am and every single flaw, no matter my weird quirks, my mistakes, my past._

"I had to face away from you and quickly stashed it in my pocket, so it wouldn't fall out. Do you know how uncomfortable it was walking around with that shit rubbing against me?" _This is too good, it couldn't have gone any better whatsoever._ "Don't worry it's sanitary, I made sure to remove and hide it elsewhere any time I-"

 _You make me want to atone for my sins, something I never cared for before since everybody fucks each other over in the world. It's the fucking norm, it's expected._

"I don't fucking care about that! Fuck I can't believe I actually looked for it," _she remembered to, after all. That's actually unexpected, too._ The crimson expanded from the archer's nose and begun to creep to her cheeks, she'd stayed still and Lavellan grinned, _she doesn't know what to say or do. I hope at the very least she reciprocates the feelings or this might be slightly troublesome._ A chilling draft swept across the room and the mage fought against the shiver, _all that's left is the scarf and underclothes._ _I've been naked in front of her so many times before,_ her stomach fluttered and twisted slightly, _so why is it different now? I'm not nervous, or at least I don't think I am, but then again I've finally said fuck it to pride and confessed._ Sera whispered so quietly it was barely audible, her gaze averted to the ground as she stood, "You really meant whatcha wrote, Syl?"

 _You make me feel, even when I don't want to. I am the woman bound by rules and here comes you, doing whatever you feel like doing even if it doesn't make sense._

"I wouldn't have written it if I didn't mean it, cookie." Seeing how the archer wasn't going to do anything, Sylvira reluctantly tugged the scarf off and reached behind her to undo the clasps of her bra. She'd casually stripped her underwear and stood in front of Sera, watching as the rogue drank in the sight before her but still remained glued to her spot. She closed the distance and stepped forward, pride welling up in her at the way the archer looked at her, "Even with all my failures, my flaws..." She joked teasingly hoping it'd thaw Sera from her frozen state, "You still look at me like I'm some magical chocolate cake." She reached around the rogue's shoulders and deftly unclasped her bra, "It's not fair if I'm the only one naked, you know."

 _You defy every rule and I can't blame gravity for falling for you._

Silence, save for the shuffling as the mage undressed Sera, ignoring the sweaty palms and lump in her throat as she accidentally yanked down both leggings and underwear in one go. The light musky scent hit her nose and in order to stave off her own nervousness as her body shouted to run away, she settled into technical mode, observing the blonde patch of hair with a keen eye. Her eyes slowly trailed up and she inwardly chuckled when she'd played connect the dots with the freckles dotting the pale landscape here and there, her mouth run dry as she'd made it to the toned stomach and the underside of the breasts.

 _You have my heart. Every single part._

"Mesmerizing," she murmured, "I've yet to find anything more captivating than this." Her hands brushed along the sides of Sera's thighs, curiously feeling and watching as goosebumps chased her trail, _it's uncomfortable kneeling like this_ _._ "Let's move to bed." A slight nod, Lavellan rose and gently grasped the archer's wrist to pull for a tender kiss. "I've never seen you this way before," she whispered, "Are you nervous now, cookie?" _I am, a bit. Okay a lot._

 _And evidently now my body, since you've found this note._

"Shut up, not nervous just..." Sera mumbled, the tips of her ears still crimson, "Straight to business, yeah?" _I'm bested by feelings, she's bested by cheesy words._

 _And my trust._

"Not quite yet. I'd like to explore first, now that we have time." _The only time, since I'm running out of it._ "Mind laying down for me so I can get started?" Instead the archer rose on her toes and smoothed her lips over Lavellan's, the tip of the tongue swept along the roof of her mouth and she'd groaned lowly, _the fireplace is behind her again._ She fought not to smirk, _if I left for my drawing tools and asked if I could draw her like this, naked and waiting, she'd kill me. No doubt about it._ Her hands smoothed along Sera's hips and gently pushed her back, the rogue braced one hand on the bed and wrapped the other around her neck, pulling her down and guiding her to hover on top. _Maybe I'll ask another time, I want a picture._

 _And all my love._

"I know you don't like words," Sylvira brushed past her lips and gently nibbled on her earlobe, "But I'll need you to talk to me and tell me what you like or don't like." She'd hesitantly smoothed her left palm along the archer's toned stomach, swallowing the lump in her throat, "Let me serve you, I want to make sure you feel good."

 _That's as fucking cheesy as I thought it'd be._

"Already do," Sera murmured, _I find that hard to believe if I've done nothing._ "Do whatever **you** want, Syl. You're free with me remember?" _W_ _hat? That makes no sense._ Sera leaned up, her abdomen flexed and rippled to keep her up as she wove her fingers in the thick golden hair splayed around them, mumbling against the dalish woman's lips, "No serving."

 _Let's get straight to business and bake in bed now._

"It's all I've ever known, Sera." _And how else am I supposed to do this? She has to teach me first then,_ Lavellan reluctantly met the razor sharp slits, not truly knowing how her request would be taken, "I'm not really a leader, I'm no-"

"Slave, either." _What? Where did this come from?_ The archer's eyebrows furrowed as she frowned, "That's the only thing I don't like in that note, luv. That's not what I meant before..."

 _I want to serve you. Told you I could commit._

"Isn't it? There's no other type of commitment, shouldn't you be happy I'm being submissive?" _I don't get this,_ Sera's lips parted then sealed, a conflicted expression on her face, _I thought she'd be happy with this._ "It's willing, it's of my own free will." _Is she expecting me to ask for her hand or what?_

"It's **wrong**." _This doesn't make any sense!_

"Why? I don't understand," she bit back a sigh when the rogue rested their foreheads together, her mind furiously working to try and figure it all out, _w_ _hy did she change her mind now?_ "Isn't that what people mean when they say they belong to another, the whole 'I'm yours' thing?" _Again with the dice, I hope for a 6 and she gives me a fucking 0._

"I thought you said you got what I actually meant when I said you're mine Syl," _I did!_ Sera gently pushed the mage back and laid back down on the bed, the razor sharp slits shone and reflected as they watered, "Fuck. This is too messed up." _What?_ "Can't do this. This ain't right if you're doing this while thinking that kinda rubbish. Ain't got it right." _Now it's gone too far._ _I take the chance, take the first step and the guts to confess my feelings, and this is what she has to say to it? It ain't right? Fuck this shit!_

"Me or _you?_ " Sylvira's temper teetered on the edge and emotions suddenly rising up had been shut off, she'd barely felt the waves of anger echoing in the back of her mind before they disappeared. _Blamed again because she doesn't want to say it, I should have known._ Without another word she slid off the bed, collecting her clothes. _This is fucking bullshit, she's using this as an excuse and cover to hide._

"What are you doing?" _If it doesn't suit her current whim it doesn't happen at all._

"Isn't it obvious? Dressing up. Throwing myself at you and it's **still** fucking wrong. I'm always doing something wrong," the anger pushed at the gates as she continued to rant and Sera remained silent the entire time, "Can't do this? You're full of fucking shit." _It physically hurts to hold in sarcastic comments._ "All of a sudden pretending you're a fucking angel, as if you've fucked with pure 'love' yeah- _hah_ -riiiight. Soon as you start dating you start fucking, bet if a qunari walked by and asked to be your girlfriend you'd be all sure, I'll do you one better, let's go to bed now! Woof, oh baby, aw yeah! Me? Oh no first I have to jump through hoops in the sky, be captured and beaten, forced to confess about useless shit-fuck, just what the fuck is it gonna take? I've proved I'm serious about you by **now** , right?" She hastily pulled on her breeches, her back faced to the archer, "And now I'm being denied just because I say I want to make you feel good, which I thought you'd jump and be all woof oh baby aw yeah, evidently not. That I want to serve you, what, scared of commitment now? Ironic, since you've bitched about that for the longest ass time. You misunderstood me, I'm not saying I want to be your fucking slave," she let out a strained bitter chuckle, "You don't have the papers or contracts to make that happen after all." _Another useless fucking argument for absolutely no god damn reason. If this is what sex is like fuck that I'll stick with games and drinking, at least she was actually happy then._ She whirled around after she'd wrestled on her shirt, never faltering at the twisted expression as Sera desperately held her tears back, and the mage realized what she'd done. _The kids interrupted me when I was going to put the cream on, my back was faced to her,_ at that her fists clenched so tightly the knuckles cracked, "You saw them, didn't you?" _Proof of what I was, there's the fucking pity eyes. Too far.  
_

Shame welled up in her when the rogue averted her gaze, the corner of her lip bled from how hard it'd been bit down. "Why not just admit what you're actually afraid of? It's got **nothing** to do with me saying I want to serve you, or having some psychological fuck up of me secretly wanting to be a slave and you my master. That's one fantasy I'll never touch with a ten foot fucking pole even if someone tried to force me to. Now that reality's smacking you right in the face, you're just fucking scared of getting close and being burnt. You're scared of change, of being hurt, of it all meaning nothing in the end. Nothing." _After all that planning, everything I've had to do in order to ensure we'd have a free night off, and it means nothing now. When it comes to her all my plans blow up in my face, no matter how fucking romantic or sweet or whatever. Is it wrong to expect a little appreciation for the effort I go through?_ Anger clouding her mind, she glared without any restraint and seethed menacingly, " **Don't fuck with my love**. Make up your fucking mind already, no more games. I'm not chasing for another fucking month so if you're into this, great! If you're not then quit leading me the fuck on, you don't want to see what I reserve for people who jerk me around. Are you going to say something or just sit there?" Nothing, no response, the archer chewed on her lip and her gaze glued to the floor as if she'd been trying to burn a hole through it. _Throw me in the fire and call me fucking Andraste._

Wrapping the scarf around her neck and strapping on her boots, she grabbed the jacket slung over the chair in the corner and head down the stairs. "Just so that bothersome emotions stop fucking answering every time," she flicked her wrist to open the door and the hinges creaked from the abrupt force, "I'll give you time to think about it. I expect an answer tonight," _it probably won't be words, but if she takes action after all of this then at least it's something,_ "No more of this playing around shit." _I'm so fucking tired, why can't she just say hey~ sorry I misunderstood whatcha meant, instead of being a mute kicked puppy?_ _There's precious little time left with how fast everything is moving, is it wrong of me to push like this?_ As the door slammed shut when she left, she'd realized she forgot the bandages for her hand and gritted her teeth, _I'm not going back in there._ She shoved her hand in her pocket and seethed as she stomped down the stairs, "This is what happens when you gamble and take a fucking risk you think you'll regret. There's a reason thinking is more logical than feeling if this is the shit that happens."

 _I love you, cookie._

* * *

Hands splayed on the table, Lavellan rubbed her temples as she tried to read the blurry lines of her notes, _I forgot to take my glasses with me as well._ Holed up at the highest level of the mage's tower, Lavellan decided to stick with drawing and testing the symbol's effects then write her findings later. _If I remember to, anyways. I don't really fucking care all too much right now because -just like everything else- nothing I do will produce results I'll like._ Glancing around to ensure she was in fact alone, she slung her jacket over a chair and rolled up her left sleeve. Pressing her fist into her bicep, she'd concentrated magical energy into her left arm until she'd seen the faint blue lines just barely glowing. They'd spanned the length of her forearm and rotated around the circumference, her eyes scanned the lines and she quickly engraved one of the symbols into her memory. As her fist disconnected from the bicep, the focal point of which the energy had been attracted to dissipated and the glowing lines disappeared. She walked to the table and grabbed a spare parchment, haphazardly sketching the symbol down for reference later then turned around, both arms extended to her sides as she prepared herself.

Channeling the energy to run along the outer edge of her palm, she turned her hands to point upwards then crossed her arms, watching as green lit up as she begun the pattern for the symbol. _Green? Usually it's other colors, so this symbol accesses the fade directly, then?_ Rotating her palms to face down she bent at the wrists, she directed the energy to travel through the wrist joints and down to the elbows. Flexing into fists she abruptly jerked her arms outwards as if striking with her elbows, the rune slowly taking shape and glowing in the air as she'd continue to draw, selecting specific joints and muscles for magical energy to be concentrated and released at. Mind utterly focused and thinking nothing but precision and exact points to strike, Lavellan simultaneously counted the number of gestures and thought of ways that'd be easier to draw the shapes. It took a full minute, _far too long,_ before the pattern had been finished and she stepped back, wiping her brow of sweat that had been accumulated constantly switching from rigid hard hitting movements to graceful and fluid sweeps. With little space to have also used her feet and leg joints to draw the other layers involved in the rune, she took a breath and started with her arms again to add the second layer, _there's four involved, forcefully pushing past the veil and into the fade. But for what purpose?_

Another minute, another layer, she'd begun to feel the strain thrumming in her nerves from the magic needed to sustain the pattern. _Two more left. I need more space so I could have added all four in one go if I could move,_ she twisted her core and pressed her fist into her forearm making a larger sweep of her entire body as she turned in her spot, _it's all green still. The other symbols I've created before were turquoise or silver, so why-_ suddenly there'd been a crash at the bottom of the tower, as if the door had abruptly slammed open, _the fuck?_ She heard running up the stairs and paused in her position, her head glued to the stairs to see who it was that'd been able to climb up without disturbing other wards. "Inquisitor, stop!" _Solas?_ "You mustn't-" the apostate ran up the stairs, his eyes widening at the lines in the air, his hands on his knees as he heaved to sate his starved lungs. _He felt this energy?_ "Don't continue that pattern," he breathed, "You know not of what you are doing." That did it, Sylvira glowered immediately and her pride lashed out, _oh but he does, right? Always thinks he's got the fucking answers because he assumes he's right._

"Eolasan melo na," she retorted heatedly, "Instead of dreaming in lala land I actually **do** things."

"That's part of the problem," Solas spoke hastily, and he'd abruptly dispelled all her efforts in drawing the pattern. She'd slumped forward at the sudden drain, her muscles slackened and the apostate rushed forward to catch her. "My apologies Inquisitor," _I don't understand, why?_ Her eyes fluttered shut from the exhaustion, her magical energy sapped from her thanks to the dispel, _asshole, why couldn't he just dispel the symbols?_ "Where did you even learn of such a rune?" Even if she could talk she wouldn't, _like hell I'd tell anyone,_ her heart ached and she stared blankly at the ceiling, _Sera's the only one who knows about me._ She heard faint footsteps and as she drifted away to sleep, she'd vaguely registered Dorian's panicked voice in the darkness, _he felt it too, did all the mages feel it…?_

* * *

"Cally?" Sylvira snuck into the library once again, she'd often come here and found the new slave of whom she'd been grateful also had magic like her. In the beginning she'd been sold off from household to household until she'd landed in this one a year ago, and as usual the other slaves weren't welcoming when they'd eventually learned of her magic. Every time she switched masters she'd hoped the other slaves would be her friends but they were in fact the most vicious predators in the household, and her new master had been the closest thing she had to a friend when he'd read his research about the Old Gods. It all changed a month after she'd joined the household when she'd heard whispers of a new and strange slave, her curiosity got the better of her and she sought out the woman. She was surprised and happy to find that the woman Calpernia wasn't like the other slaves and was just a few years older than her, shy of her sixteenth birthday. _I'm still the youngest, but it's nice she isn't like the old fucking coots._

Over the course of the year they'd formed a bond akin to sisters who'd often spent time lecturing one another, Sylvira for her vulgar swear words and Calpernia for her head-in-the-clouds fantasies of restoring Tevinter's glory-something Sylvira was adamant into trying to convince her that it'd never be possible. "Hello~ Cally?" The older girl looked up, startled, from the grimoire she'd been trying to sound words from, dried tear streaks running down her cheeks. "What's wrong? Did Anodatus touch you again?" The Magister made her blood boil, but like a good slave she had to will her face blank any time he touched her, the most humiliating was when he'd paw at her in front of her master. It hadn't surprised her he had done the same to Calpernia, and she'd given her pallet for the older girl to borrow and scrub her face.

"No," Calpernia smiled sadly as she shut the grimoire, _will she teach me what she's learned later?_ "Marius is gone," she fought for composure and Sylvira plopped over, standing in front of the seated woman, "When I came back from shopping for vegetables, I saw Nenealeus give a coin purse and shook hands with Magister Erasthenes. I've searched everywhere for him," her voice cracked and the dalish girl frowned, personally she'd been grossed out when she caught the two flirting in the library, but she knew how important the talented bodyguard was to Calpernia. "It was so sudden. Marius is gone, no goodbyes or anything, it's still hard to believe…" Not knowing what to do, Sylvira stood awkwardly and watched as the older girl buried her face in her hands as she desperately fought back the tears, "I'm sorry," she let out a strained chuckle, "You're here for happy stories, not sad ones."

"Sad ones are important too," Sylvira blurted out and the older girl looked up, she averted her gaze, afraid of what was seen in her eyes and still felt uncomfortable with eye contact. She'd been ridiculed by the other slaves that said her eyes looked like urine, she'd only known they'd swirl with both hues of green and yellow when Calpernia pointed it out, laughing when the dalish girl gaped in disbelief as she stared in a mirror. "Um..." She mumbled, she hadn't really known where she was going but she simply spoke her mind knowing she was safe with Calpernia, "That way you know what happiness is, too. You need to know sadness for that." Her head snapped up when she felt a rough hand -calloused from labor rather than holding the staff as the two _should_ have been doing- intertwine with her fingers. When the older girl chuckled, her heart fluttered, she loved the sounds Calpernia made and that was one of the things she could agree with Marius when he'd flattered the woman, saying she had a sweet voice. Often Cally hummed, and Sylvira would quietly watch with awe, not wanting to disturb or break the hymn as it reminded her of her mother's singing. She'd hum the same tune by herself when she'd been stuck with chores or alone after Erasthenes had drawn whatever wards and symbols on her as part of an experiment, instructing her she needed to stay within the area of the rune. It helped soothe her haunted mind, made it easier to fight off the demons, and reminded her that she was still a person when things seemed colorless and hopeless.

"You're wise for your age," she had only ever heard praise from Calpernia and it never failed to plaster a grin on her face, the only time she'd ever smile with pure honesty. "One day, we'll only know happy stories. I'll make it happen, Sylvira." Another thing she loved, the older girl was the only one who called her by her name. The other slaves would ridicule her, call her an Incaensor or a whore and spread rumors that she'd been in Erasthenes' chambers for _special_ treatment. Though it wasn't uncommon for kids as young as her expected to carry out these services for their master, what she had to do was far worse than defiling her body, even worse than Magister Anodatus with his repulsive touches when he'd come to study with her master. Instead, her mind and magic -something **far** more personal to her- had been probed, nitpicked apart and studied as if she were a specimen. And that was all she was, a convenient tool for which Erasthenes could perform the riskier experiments to see what effect it'd have on her just for the sake of research and curiosity. Like Calpernia, she'd only been taught the basics of magic and the two were only able to flourish and grow in their talent when they'd sneak out of their quarters, secretly meeting up with each other in the library like this. Coming from the dalish clan and already knowing the basics of reading she had been teaching Calpernia for she was never granted any opportunities as such, and the two would often point at the words they'd both never seen before to sound out. "Tevinter will be like it once was."

Not one with tact or sensitivity nor caring or seeing the point of it, Sylvira was brutally honest as she always was, sometimes missing the signs she'd hurt Cally as such. "You were born low though. At the very bottom of the chain," she didn't know what Calpernia's eye twitched for, sometimes she'd point it out and tell the girl her eyes were doing that weird muscle twitching thing, and the woman would smile politely. "We may have magic, but we're still slaves. The most useful thing Magisters see is our blood for **their** magic, and magic doesn't get you anywhere. It shuns you and strips you of everything instead." _Just like the stupid fucking clan, mamae and babae didn't even say anything when they'd abandoned me._

"Political power is not only achieved through coin, Sylvira," the older girl chided affectionately then tapped her forehead, "The mind is the greatest weapon if you know how to harness it, it will get you out of any situation. Just like Darinius." _Cally's favorite story, she always gushes like Marius does with her._ Young but not lacking intelligence, Lavellan had been old enough to understand that wasn't how things worked, she'd often bicker with Calpernia over the woman's ideals while Sylvira would bluntly drop the ball and say it'd never happen. You can't just return to an empire to what once was, they'd heard and seen plenty of instances of strong-willed slaves fall victim and end up in a ditch just because. Lashed for entertainment, treated like dirt even though slaves were the bread and bone in Tevinter, and ignored like you hadn't existed. Oh how Sylvira **loathed** the ignoring with a passion, one of the few things she still had strong feelings for. She would be right there with Erasthenes, eager to learn and mind sharp as she'd memorize the symbols he'd drawn _perfectly_ without batting an eyelash, but every time she'd have to wait patiently until she'd been spoken to. She'd learned very quickly speaking out of turn was more than just looked down upon in Tevinter. "You have that empty look in your eyes again," Calpernia noted softly and the dalish girl immediately looked down at the ground, her chin gently guided back up, "Hang on and remain strong. Don't become mindless animals like the others, you're still a person too."

"You're the only one who thinks so, Cally." _How does she do it when she's lived as a slave all her life?_ Her teeth worried on her bottom lip, her stomach twisted with pins and needles as if something buzzed inside when the older girl smiled sweetly at her. Without thinking her hand smoothed over her tummy and she blurted, "I have a stomach ache. I always get them because of you," her eyebrows furrowed with thought as she wondered, she'd missed the wide-eyed look on Calpernia's face and the hand that cupped her chin immediately fell, "Have you learned a new spell without telling me? That's unfair, we had a deal that we'd share." The older girl let out a quiet sigh and chuckled, Sylvira's heart fluttered again and she grinned with pride that it was because of _her_ she could make Cally smile. Not Marius. At that she'd selfishly reveled in that knowledge, the older girl was hers again and the two would go back doing the things they've always done without the bodyguard stealing Calpernia away. _We haven't been to the stables to play with grass and make that shit she taught. Whatever the fuck it was called._

"That reminds me," Calpernia opened the grimoire, "I came across something that might help you with the headaches you've been having."

"That's okay." _Might?_ _I don't want to be tested on anymore._ "Master got me glasses and that helps with my headaches, but the others..." Sylvira trailed off and her eyebrows furrowed with frustration as she looked at the ground, her fists clenched, "They always make fun of me for them, they're supposed to be our friends Cally. Why are they the worst? One of the cooks was..." The lean neck muscles acquired from constant physical labor rippled as her jaw tensed, she seethed through her teeth, "Touching… Me again last night," shame filled her when the older girl inhaled sharply, "I hate it. Hate this." She already knew the answer, but she had to try anyways, "Can't we run away?"

"We'll be hunted down within days in Minrathous," Calpernia murmured between despair and suppressed anger at the revelation and constant reminder of their treatment, their personal hell. She knew Sylvira had gotten it worse, what with being years younger and an elf she'd been seen as the weaker target. It angered her when she wasn't around to scare off the others, and infuriated her even more that the others -who wore sweet smiles for her now that they knew her _strangeness_ was due to magic- purposefully waited to prey on Sylvira when she hadn't been around to protect. "We could go through the catacombs but..." That hadn't been entirely safe either, through the cracks in the walls there'd often been soft sobs and eerie sounds that didn't even sound human. "We'd have to escape Tevinter."

"Can't we?" Sylvira pleaded, "There's nothing here for us, and I'm tired of being used to sate Master's curiosities. He doesn't teach me anything anymore, doesn't let me read his scrolls or tomes on the Old Gods either, nothing. Instead he engraved something in me again days ago and forgot to fix it," she rolled up her left sleeve and missed the way Calpernia's temple twitched with anger once more. She fished in her breeches and gave the woman the paper, "I stole a parchment and traced the symbols, I can-"

"You're still too weak to cast a spell of this magnitude," the older girl lectured as she unfolded and scanned the symbols, "Don't even think about trying it. Your body is not yet ready to handle this amount of energy and it'll fall apart, your mind will snap under the pressure." Sylvira frowned, _I'm not weak, I can do this._ "It'll be safer to bind it in layers."

"That's what Master was _supposed_ to do," the dalish girl seethed, "He's forgotten again, as usual. I can't ask him, you know what will happen if I do. I need to do this, every fucking part of me hurts," the way Calpernia looked at her made her skin crawl, anger thrummed along her nerves and with no experience or control she easily snapped, "Quit fucking looking at me like that Cally!" She ripped the paper out of the woman's hands and spun on her heel, storming out of the library with her mind focused, _stupid, Cally is stupid. She's older but I'm smarter_ _!_

* * *

 _Mumbles, always with the mumbling,_ Sera sat beside the dalish woman laying on her rightful bed and smoothed back the ample bangs, her eyebrows furrowed with worry as she watched the chest slowly rise and fall. The moment Solas and Dorian carried Sylvira in here she'd snapped at them, demanding what had happened, _it's only been an hour since she left_. It hadn't helped when she couldn't make sense of their answers, with Solas being reluctant to answer some of the things Dorian had asked, _always with the fucking magic._ Whatever it was the _Idiot_ mage was about to do, Solas intervened and forcefully cleansed all the magical energy in the small room Lavellan had gathered and weaved together, catching her in the mix and draining her as well. She wasn't in any danger, _or so he fucking said,_ and instead she passed out as a result of losing everything at once. Now here she lay, back in her bed, mumbling occasionally with sweat collecting at her brow and a scowl etched in her features. Any time Sera heard the woman whisper 'Cally' her heart wrenched, her jealousy got the better of her and she'd desperately wanted to shake Sylvira awake. _She should be dreaming of me, not anybody else._ Sometimes there'd been something unintelligible, or rather something that sounded like it was in another language yet not elfy either, _one time I woke her up and told her it was creepy. She said something 'bout magic, course it was, it's always fucking magic…_

Bending down and reaching for a cloth in a bucket of water, Sera wrung it out and gently wiped the sweat off the mage's forehead, her stomach twisting with frustration at her conflicting thoughts and feelings. _Syl's different though, she's not like other mages._ Lowering, she tenderly pressed her lips to Lavellan's and whispered, "Sorry, for earlier luv..." Guilt welled up in her and she'd mentally kicked herself, when the mage snapped at her she'd wanted to defend herself at the time but bit down on her tongue. Soon after the tornado moved on, she'd realized she'd been like Emmald again, knowing she was wrong but her pride refusing to utter she didn't get it, _all that coz I took it wrong_. "I thought…" Her eyes closed and she let a soft sigh against the despondent lips, "I don't know what I thought." What could she even say? She had no idea, but she wanted to show she was serious, _I fucked up and she was right too, why can't she be wrong for once?_ She was reluctant if the mage would ask her to admit as such out loud, _kissing the crap out of her when she wakes up s'wrong too, innit?_ Anger slowly building up at not knowing what to do, her heart sank when her eyes opened only to peer into citron orbs staring back at her, _fuck. Was she awake this whole time I been kissin' her?_ She leaned back hastily until she felt a hand slide behind her neck and pull her back down, crashing down ungracefully against the hungry mouth laying claim to hers. She'd willingly submitted to the tongue that delved inside as Sylvira kissed possessively, and at that the woman parted to hiss huskily.

"I don't want you to give up that easily, no matter what, **especially** over stupid senseless arguments. You're sexy all the damn time, but you're _really_ sexy when you're feisty." _That's_ _what she has to say 'bout all this?_ The mage's eyes opened a little wider and she glanced around then at the cloth in Sera's hand, "I was in the mage's tower," she murmured then looked at the archer, "Did Dorian carry me here?" _And Baldy, but whatever._ A slight nod, Sera didn't trust herself to speak and she'd had a lump lodged in her throat, "Why are you looking at me like that? We're good now right, the kiss was your answer, wasn't it?" _What…?_ "Was it or wasn't it?" The way the woman's voice wavered and eyes shining with a silent yet hopeful plea cut daggers in the rogue, she nodded again and Lavellan melted in relief, brushing their lips together as she whispered, "I'm tired. Always traveling at high speed, you're too fast to chase," _that's coming from you? Coz you do it too._ Sylvira kissed sensually and murmured in between breaths, "Slow down already, will you? I've been waiting for you for far too long and I'm saying fuck it to before," _just like that… I didn't have to say anything?_ The cloth fell to the ground, Sera shifted until she'd straddled the mage's thigh and gently pushed Lavellan to lay back down as they kissed, _so then we're good?_ "I'm sorry for snapping earlier cookie," Sylvira nudged the rogue back by the shoulders to create some distance, "I was much too harsh than needed and-"

"You were right," Sera cut her off, the guilt churning in her overpowered the pride easily, "Well not about the shitbag parts but... Don't try and trick me saying we were both wrong, I know it's mine this time." _I'm the one who didn't get it._ She averted her gaze and reluctantly mumbled as she scratched the back of her head, already seeing the beginnings of a smug smirk in her peripheral vision, "Sooo~ I'm... Sorry for," _being stupid,_ "Just sorry. Go on, get it out your system." _Just know she's gonna rub it in, 'least I said it._

"Apology not accepted," _what?!_ The rogue's head snapped to Lavellan's and she'd been confused to see the grin, "As compensation and punishment to earn my forgiveness, as per the deal we've always had, you must allow me to do what I want to you tonight." _Uh…_ The mage waggled her eyebrows playfully, and it was then Sera saw something buried in the depths of the citron orbs she'd never seen before, _the heck?_ Sylvira grinned suggestively and whispered sultrily, "It's time to play chess, _darling_. On your back," _just like that, just coz I said sorry?_ Not really minding whatsoever, Sera complied and rolled beside her, "Wow, just like that? If guilt and arguments make you **this** compliant we need to have them more often, it's a rarity to see you act tame," _ugh. Frigging loser,_ the archer groaned and Lavellan laughed as she scooted to the edge of bed, "One moment while I get something." _She's moving fast._

"Wait," Sera grasped the left wrist and the woman glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow risen in confusion, "You sure you're feeling alright?" _Always does, but ain't this too fast? Mean yeah we fight and move on easily but...  
_

"Yeah," there was a slight scrape on the floor and Sylvira looked down at her feet, _must've kicked the bucket,_ she chuckled quietly, "Seriously?" She looked back at Sera as her eyes danced with amusement, _here we go,_ " **You** were taking care of me, wiping off my sweat and everything? Damn if I just stayed on my back and pretended I had a cold we could've played out a naughty fantasy. As payment for your hard work I vote it's high time you _Orlais_ with me and see the world you've never dreamed of, _darling._ "

"Shut up, loser," _she's still her with her rubbish, as usual._ She let go of Lavellan's wrist and the mage bounced up, walking to the pile of books and briefly scribbling something in what Sera recognized as the journal before sifting through the wreckage, _she don't have her bandages on._ Sera frowned, _thought she didn't like people seeing that shit? Maybe she didn't click in yet, and what'd she write in her book?_ Knowing it'd bring grief if the mage had realized the other two men more than likely saw the dull red brand, Sera ignored the nausea twisting in her stomach and braced herself to help distract the dalish woman so that she'd  never realize it, _fat chance, that. Stalling more like,_ she snickered when Sylvira bounced back on her feet, tome in hand as she cheered, "Seriously? You're gonna be using that?" _I'm much better than a stupid book,_ she shivered at the heated look the mage gave her when she turned around, a seductive grin on her face as she sauntered back to the archer. Lavellan stated confidently as she waved the book back and forth, _ain't that the elfy one?_

"Now you'll get to see for yourself why the dalish are called wild elves, Haurasha."

"Talk too fuckin' much, always bragging." A smirk, Sera re-issued the challenge from long ago, "Show me how good that tongue o' yours is."


	19. Wild Elves

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** There is no such thing as the word "Awkward" in Sylvira's dictionary. If there are lines that make you go o_o, believe me when I say it made me shift eyes as I wrote them lol. Now out of pure curiosity I decided to compare the "word" differences as to when each Lavellan has had their first 'encounter' regarding sex, and I actually starting chuckling quite a bit. I felt bad when the first word in my mind was "Race" since I don't really view it as a race, but here are the statistics/runner ups nonetheless :P I'm going to keep it simple as just the first encounter rather than going into detail of who was 'giving' and who was 'receiving'.

 _Reminiscence:_ Ena at 123, 966 words, chapter 19. Second place.

 _Fen'Myal:_ Fen at 57, 656 words, chapter 5. First place.

 _Taming Gravity:_ Syl at 182, 912 words, chapter 19. Third place.

 _Unbreakable:_ Terra. Ahh~ Terra. Forget 'sideways plans', cast it out of your mind. The goal for Terra is 200k words for her first 'intentional/romantic implication' **kiss** with Sera. I say 'intentional' because you just never know what sort of misunderstanding mayhem may happen with her :P **Definitely** fourth place, when I do reach this 'milestone' I hope I'll write something that'll be bloody grand though.

Also just to clarify, yes, Sylvira is teaching the kids how to "shuffle", and the "running man" is one of the moves. I tried to describe it as best I could, but it might be easier to look it up on youtube, it's a basic shuffling dance move that's really fun to do (again more proof that writing does not necessarily mean sitting down all the time ;D). **On to the story!**

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Dashalasha:_ You knoooooow~ :P

 _Lasa em tua rosas'da'din:_ Let me make you cum

 _Jupalan ma sule tel mar sule'din:_ I will fuck you until you have no endurance left

 _Ema 'ma dhula elvar'el:_ Pull my hair harder

 _Mar rodhe ir'on:_ You taste delicious

 _Haurasha:_ Honey, sexual slang for… Do I really need to type it anymore?

 _Madhlea:_ My light [in the] night, aka "You ward off the dark"

* * *

 **Wild Elves**

* * *

"Okay, hold on," Sylvira opened the drawers of the desk and retrieved her glasses, slipping them on and thumbing through the pages, "Yesterday morning I translated a few pages that I figured you might find interesting..."

"Syl ya don't need the frigging book ye daft tit, just c'mere." _Is she that nervous or she serious 'bout this book rubbish?_

"But it's got pictures, and tips. Lots of tips. Ones I bet **you** don't even know." _Uh huh._

"Oh, that so? Alright then Loser, show me whatcha got then."

"You're not allowed to pretend it doesn't feel good either, just for 'I told you so' rights," the mage grinned as she opened to the page she had wanted then looked at Sera. "Are you going to take off your clothes or what?"

"Take 'em off for me, lazy arse."

"How the hell are **you** calling me lazy? I did all the work earlier, you take them off. Mine too."

"No you."

"Fuck sake there's no difference who does the stripping is there?" Lavellan huffed and dog-eared the pages as she strode to the bed, she abandoned the book beside the archer's head and began to tug down the leggings, only to stop and walk back to the desk as she mumbled something. Sera helped herself to the book and opened up to the dog-eared page, paling immediately when her eyes fell on the page, _what the fuck_ _is_ _this?!_ It featured two stick-figures, one doggy style and the other that looked to be sitting on the dog-stick-whatever's tail-bone, and finally it dawned on her on what the position was _supposed_ to achieve but in actuality didn't. _Probly thought it was funny, thinking Fereldans would like this,_ she flipped to the next page and her eyes nearly bulged out of her sockets, _does she think I can do hand stands for a fucking hour?!_

"Oh **fuck** no. We are **not** doing this. D'ya know how frigging uncomfortable that is?"

"What?" The mage glanced above the rim of the glasses and Sera clenched her teeth, _looks serious like that, I could just take her on that desk. No could, should. And will._ She'd rather die than confirm when Sylvira teased her for liking intelligent types, though she couldn't wait for the day she'd sit on the woman as she worked at her desk, _like how close we got the first time before she got uncomfy_. "You're flexible you should be able to get into that position fairly easily," _I don't work miracles!_ "Plus it's apparently called _Defying Gravity_ , marvelous isn't it?" _Won't feel fucking 'marvelous' that's for sure._ "Cunnilingus will feel good for you and my neck won't be strained, body mechanics is also important to keep in mind after all." _What the fuck is cunniwhatever?!_

"For your first fucking time? Just keep it simple Syl, why the-" Sera paused then grinned when she'd seen the eye twitch, "Ooh~ that's why you don't wanna do it that way. Coz it's **simple**."

"I'm merely being creative so that it's enjoyable and something new for you as well." _Fuck why can't she_ _ever_ _be bloody_ _ **normal**_ _?!_

"Well then not that fuckin' position then, ain't there something else?" The archer flipped to the next page and her eyes widened in horror, "Syl what the fuck is wrong with this book?! This shite ain't normal!"

"Well, there you go. That's why they call us dalish wild elves." _Remind me why I even fucking like you again?_ Sylvira's brash attitude and large shit eating amused grin had been beginning to grate on the rogue's nerves, and Sera begun to wonder in the back of her mind if this was part of her punishment as compensation for blowing things up earlier.

"There we **don't** go! Shit if you havta use books can't you use that second one ya got?"

"I could. How about the next page? Though that's more for men, I thought it'd be fun if we got those dildos with harnesses -strap ons I believe they're called- and have a sword fight with them. Maybe play some ring toss." _I can't tell if she's serious or joking right now. She's fucking scaring me now._ "The look on your face is priceless, I totally made that up but I'm actually entertained by this idea." _So that's how she sneaks in bullshit without me sniffing it out huh, if she believes it?_

"Just…" _Fuck me already,_ "Get over here, fuck the books!"

"I'd rather not." The archer groaned and Lavellan laughed, _this prick's doing this on purpose!_ "Unless that's what you're into, different textures and stuff? I read about using feathers and ice cubes too."

"Don't make me smack you, y'know what I friggin' mean!" Sera sat up and decided to make the mage come to her instead, she stripped off her shirt and bra with ease, reveling at the heated glazed look and the way Sylvira's face went from playful to downright erotic. _Gets her every time,_ the way the citron orbs bore into her as they slowly trailed down her body made her shiver, pride welled up at the barely audible whisper of appreciation. Impatience gnawed on her nerves and she too had gotten fed up with the tension building between the two, "Quit imagining it and just **do** it, luv."

"And just," Lavellan stiffly walked to her, her face still technical yet her eyes swirled with desire, "What am I supposed to do?" The archer abandoned the _fuckin' creepy_ book then reached out for her wrist and gently pulled her, she frowned when Sylvira stopped her descent by bracing her knee on the bed and resisting, "I need to know, first." _Seemed fine when she had that book, now she's nervous without it._

"Then get on your back and-"

"No. I want to do it first," _fuck sake!_ Sera had been about to protest until the mage rubbed the back her neck as she mumbled sheepishly, "I don't feel comfortable with this otherwise." _Huh…?_ "Don't ask, I don't understand it myself." A nervous sigh, Lavellan raked her hand through her hair and let her eyes wander lower, her eyes glazing over the creamy skin marked with little scars here and there.

"Already said, do whatever ya want luv. I'll give you pointers if somethin' don't feel right for me," _was gonna anyways,_ "Sounds good innit?" Sera tugged on the wrist and was relieved when the woman braced her palms on either side of her head, hovering above her with the golden hair spilling forward and tickling her ears or face. _I'm gonna regret this,_ "If it makes ya feel even more comfy, then keep a book open on yer _tips_ or whatever," _yup, regretting it._ The mage's eyes lit up and she smirked a little, "But it better not be anything really fucking weird like what you just showed me."

"Of course, let me retrieve the second book then." _The first one don't have_ _anything_ _normal? Greeeat…_ As Sylvira excitedly delved into the orgy pile of books in the corner and tossing away anything that didn't seem to be what she was looking for, Sera decided to speed up the process and give the woman a nice surprise when she'd turn back around. She stripped completely and scooted to the edge of the bed closest to the dying fire, _ugh, shite,_ a light sniffle, the chilling draft swept in the room and she shivered immediately. Her eyes fell on Lavellan who was  still going through the _fucking stupid_ books and groaned as goosebumps rose from another draft, "Sorry. Just one more minute," the mage briefly glanced over her shoulder and Sera grinned seductively, only for that hope to be completely crushed when Sylvira went back to the pile. _Piss._ Then just as suddenly the dalish woman's head snapped back as she checked over her shoulder again, her eyes widening and lips slightly parted with a stunned expression on her face, "You…?" _There we go._ _Much_ _better._ "Fucking tease," Lavellan huffed as she angrily tossed another book, "Tempting me when I'm trying to-"

"Then c'mere." _This is_ _too_ _fun._

"You said I could have the book!"

"Do you actually **need** it? I'm gonna fucking fall asleep by the time you find it." Nothing, the mage was now utterly focused and furiously throwing books every which way as she sped up her search for the one she wanted. _Fuck._ Sera rolled off the bed and grabbed a couple logs, feeding the fire and sliding underneath the sheets to warm herself up. "Syl~" she whined as agonizingly long minutes passed, "Hurry the fuck up." _**Definitely**_ _fucking regretting this now. I thought the book'd be bad but this is_ _worse_ _,_ she'd grumbled beneath the sheets as what felt like an hour had passed by-though it'd only been about five minutes, "I hate waiting."

Still no response, she poked her head out of the sheets and glanced over, her eyebrow risen in confusion when the mage was no longer at the pile-or well, the leftover two books that took residence in what _used_ to be the pile, _the fuck? She was just there._ "Syl?" Sitting up and wrapping the sheets around her as she carefully scooted off the bed, she scanned the room and disappointment welled up in her, _she… Left…?_ As the next draft entered the room, so did the sweet aroma that never ceased to conjure the pleasant images of autumn, _she's smoking on the balcony?_ With a sigh she braced herself for the inevitable cold as she plopped over, sinking her feet into her over-sized boots before walking to the arch entrance to the balcony and confirming the woman was indeed there. "Whatcha doin' luv?"

Lavellan glanced over her shoulder with her pipe in the corner of her mouth, she looked back at the night sky and hummed softly. "Looking at the stars," she whispered, "I got pissed, figured I'd grab a smoke while you nabbed a nap." _All this over a fucking book, jeez._

"What?" Sera chuckled then walked beside the tall woman, "I wasn't napping, was cold." She eyed the tense shoulders and gave a playful nudge with her elbow, bending her neck sideways and resting her head against Sylvira's shoulder, "Yer really that nervous, huh?" _Tense, that's where I come in._

Silence, for a while, she didn't press. And then the mage shifted in her spot uncomfortably, murmuring sheepishly, "Yes." _Nervous_ _i_ _s_ _a_ _sign she cares._

"Well… Don't. Nothin' to be nervous 'bout, yeah?" No longer wanting to wait and seeing that Lavellan's over-analytical mind was not going to shut off, she decided to conquer the problem through brute force. She grabbed the woman's wrist and tugged roughly, guiding her back inside the room, "Snuff out the pipe." Giving Lavellan just enough time to do so and clean the bowl, she'd dropped the sheets wrapped around her and kicked off her boots as soon as the pipe was set on the desk, grabbing the scarf and pulling the mage down for a heated kiss. She'd been forceful with her tongue as she delved inside, not giving Sylvira any chance whatsoever to do the same and swallowed the beginnings of a groan, ignoring the smoke lacing the woman's mouth. She mentally danced in victory when she felt curious hands ghost along the sides of her waist, a light shudder rippled through her as thumbs accidentally brushed the swell of her breasts. _So far so good. Much better._

Fingertips danced higher along her collarbones and she'd fought the urge not to jerk, _tickles a bit,_ she'd been amused at how much Lavellan had been doing with her hands so long as her lips had something else to focus on. _Right, always got to do more than one thing at once. Keep her head busy,_ she smoothed her palms over  both the mage's hands and guided them to her breasts, _won't do anything unless I force her to though._ She'd restrained the mewl bubbling in the back of her throat as the thumbs circled around the taut peaks before giving a gentle pinch, the lips smothering hers pressed harder and her bottom lip roughly sucked in between Sylvira's teeth. _Fuck, just why the fuck was she nervous? Kissing's half the work,_ she parted to reassure and encourage the woman, "Doin' good luv. Real~ good," that earned her a relieved smile and confirmed her suspicions, _can't believe she's worried if it feels good for me or not._

"To the bed?" A nod, the two made way for the bed and Sera jumped for the side closest to the fire, turning on her back and grinning provocatively as Lavellan crawled on top of her. The rogue extended her arms out to her sides, she stared at the citron orbs darting left and right as they soaked in the details of her body, enraptured and in awe. _Never had anyone look at me the way she does,_ also evident when the expression would go blank if it'd been new territory, obvious that the mage had been studying with a scholar's mind before turning back into a glorified _pervert._ "Erm..." The woman let out a shaky breath and lowered on her elbows tucked against Sera's hips, _oh this is just way too good._ "Here I go..." Watching with anticipation and adrenaline coursing thick through her veins, she'd released the breath she hadn't even known she held at the moist heat trailing along her breast as a warm palm tenderly kneaded the other. _Read enough for a basic idea then, good 'nough for me. All she needs right now, no fancy tricks or positions._

Resting her head back on the pillows and completely relaxing her body, she'd melted under the curious ministrations and didn't bother suppressing the so-far-quiet sounds, hoping it'd encourage Sylvira rather than feed her ego. "Don't needa be 'fraid of going rougher Syl," Sera breathed, "I won't break." At that a gasp tore from her throat when she'd felt naturally sharp canines graze against her nipple and a gentle flick of the tongue, the other hand contrasted by pinching much harder. _This is way different than every dream,_ she bit on her lip and gasped again when the hand and mouth switched places, lovingly paying attention to every part of her when the mage lowered to trail tender kisses and experimental touches. _And way better, too._

 ** _Reality is better than dreams, Sera. I'm proof of that._**

 _Ugh fuck, she's still cocky in my head. Least she wasn't always talking rubbish._ She'd repressed the urge to chuckle when the curious tongue licked and tickled her instead, or when the fingertips did absolutely nothing except be there for the sake of being there. It didn't really seem like Sylvira had a particular goal, _she's-_ Sera sucked in her bottom lip and tried not to smirk- _exploring the Forbidden Oasis. Arse._ A low moan escaped her when canines grazed along her hip bone, the warm tongue dragged across her stomach before settling on the old mark beside the navel to nibble hard, _gonna leave a mark again, good._ The slow pace had been beginning to irritate her and she chewed on her lip, she wanted to give the time the mage needed to wrap her head around the idea and figure things out for herself. But with every lick, nibble, kiss, pinch or caress, it'd been increasingly difficult to hold back the urges to switch their positions and have her way. Another shudder rolled through her, and she glanced down when she heard Lavellan murmured half in fascination and half in technicality, "Your groin, the junction of which your leg and stomach attach is sensitive."

"Really?" Sera couldn't help but smirk and lilt playfully, "I couldn't tell."

"And you call me the arse," Sylvira's sulky tone never ceased to fuel the urges and the archer bit on her lip harder, her eyes glued to the ceiling as she focused on imprinting every detail of the beams in her mind to derail the urges to pounce on her prey. "Tell me how this feels, will you?" _Huh?_ She'd felt a hand run down the side of her leg and brush underneath her knee, she jerked slightly and a low moan slipped past her lips when the tongue came excruciatingly close to her center as it dragged along her inner thigh. _Fuck._ "I take it that was good," she could _hear_ the smug grin, _ugh here we go,_ "If that moan was any indication."

"Shut up," the rogue rasped, her throat scratchy and mouth dry, "Quit teasing already. I'll shove an arrow up yer arse if don't fuck me, Syl." Her stomach twisted pleasantly at the melodic chuckles, the warm puffs of air hit her thigh and only served to make things worse as her control teetered on the edge. "What's so funny?"

"Remember the elfy book, when you said they were stick constellations?" _Yeah, so?_ Lavellan's only saving grace was that she spoke while she continued, her hand kneading a breast above her as she continued to pepper the toned abdomen with kisses and nibbles, "I drew those, actually. They were depictions of you and me." _Those were some shite drawings then._ "The only way you'd know who was who, were the speech bubbles. I predicted you'd threaten me like that in the very first drawing."

"Uh huh." Sera repressed the hiss when the canines grazed along her other hip bone, _fuck, why's she still gotta tease?_ "And what'd we do in this drawing?"

"I was between your legs," Sylvira stated matter-of-fact and grinned when the archer groaned at the daring yet feather-light touch off to the side of where she really wanted. _Now that she ain't nervous she's just gonna be a prick like this, fuck!_ "It's time I write a love letter in between your thighs, will you write one on my back?" _This fuckin' smartass,_ she could feel the way the delicate lips spread outwards into a smirk as they pressed to her thigh, "Told you before not everything I say is shit. I make good on some things."

"Ya. **Some**." Her ability to talk had been rapidly diminishing when the mage rose her head and flashed a charming grin, the citron orbs shone bright with the way the fire played on her face. The green hues danced with mischief playfulness and the yellow promised what she'd wanted, stark contrasts of only which would be confirmed what would actually happen through Lavellan's actions. _Just a little lower, she just has to go lower. Why won't she?_ Her head fell back with a soft thud at the massive fluffy pillows that found their way back, _how'd they do that? I threw 'em off the balcony._ It dawned on her and she frowned at her own stupidity, _right, Syl asked Ruffles for more. Syl's makin' me stupid now._ She had plans to get lost in all these pillows after the night was through, there was nothing more comfortable than them. As the dalish woman continued to tease, Sera grew frustrated and with a huff she blindly fumbled for Sylvira's hand, "I can't wait any more, fuck me already." A sharp inhale and unsteady breath, _she's nervous,_ "It'll be alright, yeah? You been doin' real good so far, nothin' you can't figure out." She nearly melted with relief when the mage shimmed down lower, and glanced when she saw Lavellan rise on her knees, _aw piss, c'mon. She's not gonna run is she?_ The heat swirling at the pits of her stomach twisted and buzzed, and the desire clouding her mind made everything in the room seem surreal as if she were drunk. _She can't run, even frigging myself won't do._

"O-open your legs then." _Oh. No problem._ Not wanting to startle the woman who looked ready to bolt out of there, Sera inched her legs outwards tantalizingly slow to the point even she'd gotten impatient, _I'm allowed to._ Sylvira's face went through multiple expressions, her eyes vibrant with different emotions that kept flickering through and the rogue was beginning to get lost in the colors of the orbs. _Pretty, so pretty._ "Well… Shit." _Speechless._ It was Sera's turn to have a large smug grin and the mage chuckled, "I take it you like it more when I have no words to describe?" _I'm the only one who can actually make her shut up when it counts._

"Much more, c'mere," the archer reached her arms out and stretched out her hands, her eyes briefly glazing over the dull red brand in the left palm when Lavellan connected and interlocked their fingers together. Thankfully the mage's eyes were still glued to what seemed to haunt her, and Sera carefully pulled her forward, "Kiss me, Syl. Don't think 'bout it, 'kay? It'll happen naturally." _She can't see how turned on I am?_ As Sylvira carefully laid on top of her she groaned inside the mouth that almost always drove her crazy one way or another, the friction of the woman accidentally grinding against her shot sparks up her spine and temporarily blinded her. The white flash disappeared just as fast, and Sera had been growing increasingly frustrated at the slow pace of it all. She fumbled for Lavellan's hand -uncaring whichever it was she grabbed- and brought it to press against her core, a content groan bubbling in the back of her throat as she'd  finally felt what had ruthlessly teased her in her dreams. She noticed the tension and the way the mage stiffened, she parted from the lips and gazed in the nervous orbs that looked lost and torn, "Twirlies. Rub in circles," _she's never frigged herself before or what?_

At that anger tinged her nerves and she had to be careful not to let it show on her face lest Sylvira interpret it wrong, _probably never wanted to with all that's happened. Or didn't see the point? But she's always goin' on 'bout the 'purpose' of this._ Pride welled up in her when the woman nodded and held her gaze, the delicate fingers stroking slowly, _didn't she read in her books what to do? Looks ready to shite herself though,_ Sera wove her fingers through the golden hair splayed around them, occasionally brushing out the locks that strayed and tickled her nose or blocked her vision, _friggin' annoying, this. Maybe I shouldn't have tugged it down._ Gathering the locks and smoothing them back, she pulled Lavellan for a tender kiss and reveled in the light tingling dancing along her nerves with each stroke, her hips giving a slight jerk when the mage accidentally pressed on the swollen nub. A heady moan slipped past her lips when the mage lowered to her throat and suckled on a patch of skin, she'd vaguely registered the moist heat of the tongue when fingertips teased the entrance to her center. "Am I doing this right Sera?"

"You can't _**hear**_ me?" The archer snapped irritably, "Don't play stupid," she gazed up through half-lidded eyes, the heat in the room gradually rose through a mixture of warm breaths and electricity coursing through her body. She'd seen the way the corners of Sylvira's lips quirked just the slightest bit, "I'm on to you." _She can see and she's still askin' daft rubbish._

"At the moment I believe it's reversed, literally, you know?"

"Shut up," Sera huffed, her lips parted for an angry retort and instead another moan replaced the words, all too aware of the slender finger slowly pushing inside her inch by inch. She'd briefly registered the mouth clamped over hers, the white flash blinding her over and over again and her body arched towards the dalish woman. She fell with a soft thud, and the movement itself as her muscles melted into the mattress instigated another wave of pleasure. _Frustrated me too much earlier, turned me on,_ she'd mewled quietly when the hand alternated between strokes and slow thrusts, but only one finger. _Why won't she just-_ "More," she croaked out and damned her pride all too eagerly, " _Please_ Syl." Relieved the shit eating grin didn't make an appearance, the mage nodded but instead she'd shimmied down, _what? Probly curious._ She glanced down and watched quietly as Lavellan settled comfortably, flicking the dangling ends of her scarf over her shoulder, pushing the glasses up her nose and dragging one of the pillows nearby as she positioned it length-wise for her to lay on, _what… Is she doing that for?_

As if sensing the question, the mage smiled cheekily, "Body mechanics is important. I don't dare imagine what you'd do to me if I got a kink in my neck and could continue no longer." _Ugh. Smartiepants…_ That cheeky smile disappeared and Sylvira gulped, the archer planted her feet on the bed and bent her knees, reveling in the wide-eyed look and the way the citron orbs darted left and right to analyze what had been happening. Her ears perked at the whisper under the breath, barely audible, "Sucking on the dashalasha," her hips twitched when she'd felt her clit prodded, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she gazed down at the woman who smirked for the briefest of moments, _what she doing?_ "This is it, here, the suction..." Lavellan gently enclosed her lips on the sensitive nub and suckled experimentally, Sera hissed in pleasure and shifted down for more contact, _fuck_ _this_ _is what her fucking books teach? Everybody should read 'em then, even twats who fucked for a while don't bother with this._ Fire and ice fought for control of her body as she'd boiled yet shuddered at the same time, her breaths gradually quickened with each rise and fall of her chest. "Now I get what was meant in the tome," _huh?_ The moist heat of the tongue touched just before where the blonde patch and slid to her right, then curved as it went left, it didn't take long for the archer to figure out what was happening, _she's fucking serious right now._ As the tongue finished tracing the letter, Sylvira murmured with pride, "S for Syl. I've laid claim, you're mine too now." _Jeez,_ Sera chuckled and rose her head, nodding in agreement, _whatta loser._

"Been yours for a while, Syl. Said it yourself, yeah?"

"Mm, you raise an excellent point," _less talking, more fun._ "Did the sucking feel good?" _Fuck why's she gotta ask this shite, can't she figure it out?_

 ** _Roses are red, lemons are sour, open your legs and give me an hour._**

"Yeah," the rogue's head collapsed back on the pillows as she stared at the ceiling, _it really gonna take an hour? I can't wait that fucking long!_ "Feels better when you do everything at once, look luv," she rose her head and glanced at Lavellan, "It **does** feel good, all of it, alright? Just do whatever, fuck me and we'll talk 'bout it later."

"Impatient, are you?" _Ugh that fucking look on her face._ Sylvira laughed quietly when the archer groaned as she slackened against the bed, the mage clambered up higher and frustration welled up in Sera. _I'm gonna jump her soon, whether she wants it or not._ She shivered as the fingertips teased her entrance again, drawing slow circles and dipping inside by an inch before they'd pull back out, continuing their agonizing bittersweet torture. "Remember the war room," Lavellan breathed in her ear, occasionally nibbling the tip or earlobe as she spoke, "When we argued, before we went off to rescue Leli's guy?" _What the fuck? This isn't somethin' you frigging talk 'bout when-_ "How you're always on my mind?" _Where's she going with this?_ Her lips parted as an irritated groan slipped past, her hips shifted forward in a desperate attempt for more contact when the fingertips dipped inside once again, _it's never easy with her._ "How I can't fool myself anymore?" One digit slipped in and inched deeper, slowly, and the velvet walls clamped down in an effort to keep it burrowed. _There, needs more, needs to shut up._

"I don't care Syl," Sera whispered huskily, "Just fuck me already. Quit teasing."

"Nobody will do," the second fingertip smoothed the rim of the entrance before gently pushing in, allowing her to adjust to the intrusion. Before the archer could brace herself she'd been caught in a mixture of gasp and choked moan when Sylvira forced a third finger with an aggressive thrust as she growled, " **I want** **you**." The protruding digits were pulled out slowly and the velvet walls clung to them, refusing to let them go and Sera's eyebrows furrowed, her throat raw and hoarse from the sounds forced out of her. "I'm a lover not a fighter, darling," _always with the talking, she really do plan on talkin' me over the edge._ "Unless you like it rough." She couldn't answer, any attempt was immediately cut off with another groan, the pits of her stomach churned and the coil rapidly wound tighter as the pressure rose. Pleasurable sparks thrummed strongly, her blood boiled with fire and her skin crawled with goosebumps and shivers, sweat accumulated with each deep thrust, each whisper, each time the delicate lips latched on her throat. It all had been ruined when the naughty whispers were replaced with the one thing she couldn't stand. "Lasa em tua rosas'da'din," Lavellan chuckled when the archer groaned and huffed angrily, another moan spilling forth without her permission. "You're so fucking beautiful when you're angry, deadly but beautiful, a force to reckon with." _Shut up, just fucking shut up…!_

Stomach buzzing strongly, she'd been stuck in between heaven and hell when the dalish woman infuriated her with _elfy rubbish_ but then fix it just as fast with more dirty promises, and it hadn't helped when the fingers buried deep inside her curled and stroked, exploring around and caressing the velvet walls hiding the sweet spot. "Jupalan ma sule tel mar sule'din," if desire and pleasure wasn't clouding her mind, it'd been pure anger, _she's doing this on purpose, pissing me off!_ She roughly tugged on the golden tresses her fingers wove in, her parched throat stung and her mouth dry, her back arched slightly and her hips jerked involuntarily when one of the fingers accidentally pressed against her sweet spot. "Sing for me cookie, I love the sound of your voice," Sylvira established a slow rhythm as she carefully pulled and pushed, not wanting to cause any pain whatsoever. Not physically, anyways. Sera gasped when the sharp canines grazed along her neck, her head lulled to the side for better access and the dalish woman latched on immediately. Vibrations rumbled through her when Lavellan instead hummed against her throat, every inch of her body shone bright with the fire and the way the light reflected off the sheen sweat-slicked skin. With each thrust she'd desperately tried to stall the inevitable as she summoned random images to her mind, her fingers instinctively flexing and tugging the soft golden locks as her hips shifted down to meet the mage's hand. "Ema 'ma dula elvar'el," _fuck I'm going to smack her soon!_ Low chuckles resounded through her and her nerves frayed, she'd felt ready to snap any moment. "When will you be praising your Maker, Sera? I want to hear it."

"Only thing you'll hear's the sound of your screaming," Sera seethed menacingly, "When I shove a fucking arrow up yer arse!" As if things couldn't get any worse, the validity of her threat had been blown up in her face and her head threw back as she arched into the smug woman, blinded by the white-hot pleasure coursing through her from head to toe. "Syl- _fuck_ -go down on me again, I want-"

"To be eaten, do you? I've been looking forward to dining in your _Chatte Humide_. They say you are what you eat," _oh my fucking-when does it stop?!_ Thankfully Lavellan shimmied down as she sang playfully, "I'll get to be a sexy beast after this." Sera couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of it all, _she always does this to me, makes me hate her, love her, laugh at her and want to cry all at the same fucking time._ Her heart swelled when she'd easily caught on to that thought, _love…_

 ** _I love you, cookie._**

 _Never said anything back 'bout it, but she ain't pushing._ She chewed on her lip, torn between uttering it now or not, _wrong, not yet, can't say it yet. She'd think I only love her for this. After, for sure. Will, have to, gotta try, she did right? Can't be that hard._ "Then the voice of the Maker rang out, the first Word," _what the fuck,_ _Syl_ _knows the chant?_ "He said let there be sexy people." _'Kay I don't listen to the chant but pretty sure He didn't say that._ "And so He made Sera." Another chuckle, _if she's joking, means she's comfy. Dunno if that's good or bad._ She bunched up and clenched the cover sheet of the bed when hot breaths puffed at her center, "Fuck..." Sensitive from the ministrations, frustration still gnawing on her nerves from both the elfy and the denial -or rather stalling of her release- it'd been almost  too easy to say fuck it and willingly jump into bliss. _Not yet, just a bit longer,_ a long lick up the coated slit threatened that resolve and the light vibrations of appreciative humming nearly pushed her over the edge itself. "Haurasha, literally now. Just fuck..." _The fuck is she on 'bout now?_

"Amazing," another uncoordinated and rough lick, and another wave of pleasure pressing against the gates as Sera desperately stalled, "Mar rodhe ir'on." _She's fucking pushing it, I swear…!_ She gritted her teeth, knowing fully well there was no point telling the _elfy pish_ to stop because Sylvira would do it on purpose just to get a rise out of her, which she  must have already been doing. _No doubt 'bout it. Pissing me off on purpose, she knows this is the easiest way._ "I couldn't help but notice," the archer groaned when Lavellan paused and rose her head to talk again, her coated lips spread in a lopsided grin at Sera's obvious frustration, "That I'd like to have sex with you on a regular basis." _**Definitely**_ _a bad thing she's comfy. She's never gonna shut up now._ "You sure take a while, am I that bad or something? My neck's starting to hurt," the mage whined irritably, "Cum for me already." Something expected to be erotic yet in this case it'd served as the opposite, the nonchalant attitude goading and adding fuel to the fire in the tense atmosphere.

"Nope," the archer huffed defiantly, "I'll cum when I wanna." She'd been grateful for the distraction, but the pleasant waves had begun to feel sharper, more intense, _getting close, just a bit longer..._

"Fuck sake, this is where your opposite shit's annoying." _Can she shut up?!_ It didn't occur to Sera that her thoughts were contradicting themselves.

"This is where yer blabbing's annoying!"

"Are we seriously going to fucking argue about this?"

"Yes!"

"Now scream that with a more moany-like voice."

"Shut **up** Syl, fuck sake I'll-" her threat had been promptly cut off when the mouth driving her absolutely insane decided to be put to good use, sucking on the swollen nub as a slender finger abruptly pushed inside. She hissed incoherent words and cussed under her breath, the thrumming in the pits of her stomach stronger and the heat pooling between her thighs had become unbearable. _Close,_ her eyebrows furrowed and she instinctively clutched the sheets tighter. Lavellan observed while she worked, alternating and constantly switching to create new sensations each time, and the amused chuckles that rumbled through Sera were pissing her off, _everything about her pisses me off._

Another finger inserted and the two burrowed deep inside curled, the coil wound tighter and she gritted her teeth, her stubborn pride demanding she withhold all sounds as symbol of her defiance. _She's got that stupid smug look on her friggin' face,_ how incredibly tempting it was to say fuck it all, she'd been torn on what to do. She thought she was going to explode with anger when the mage shifted yet again and clambered higher, _can she not stay the fuck still?!_ All of that changed when Sylvira trailed kisses from her jawbone to the ear and whispered with affection, "You look absolutely breathtaking, love." The pace of the fingers slowed and denied the orgasm once again, Sera's eyes snapped to the woman, _does she not know what the fuck she's doing to me?!_ "I can't hold it in anymore, these urges," a soft chuckle, "To make you the happiest woman in all of Thedas." _Andraste's tits, she can't shut up for five minutes._ Her stomach twisted pleasantly and her heart fluttered despite it all, once again she'd been caught in between places where all sorts of emotions coursed through her and the exhaustion was settling in.

 _Tires me out, more ways than one._ Lavellan pushed the archer's head away with her nose then planted soft kisses along the flushed neck, murmuring tenderly, "Are you at least close?" _Too_ _close,_ she thought about it for a moment but decided to say _fuck it_ and nodded, she shuddered at the warm breaths hitting spots that were sensitive and aching from constant attention. Her muscles slackened, she'd braced herself for the moment and her hands smoothed underneath the disheveled cotton shirt, the fingers buried deep in her caressed along the front of the velvet walls and managed to find the sweet spot once again. "I don't mean to tease you, love," _uh huh, sure,_ her heart swelled with warmth to the point it was ready to burst at her new nickname. Sylvira rose her head and peered in the clouded half-lidded eyes, "I've read denying the orgasm makes it feel really good in the end."

 _Oh. Makes sense now._

"Well it's working," Sera breathed back, her voice cracked from her parched throat, her tongue felt like cotton and shallow breaths strained her lungs. "I'm really close," her hands slid up further and cupped the mage's shoulder blades, for a brief moment she could have sworn she saw something flash in the citron orbs but paid no mind to it. She couldn't find it in her to care, consumed by the heat of the moment, her body demanded release and the undeniable need couldn't wait for another second lest she snap under the immense pressure of frustration. "Kiss me, Syl." As soon as their lips met her eyes widened and her gasp was swallowed by the mage, Lavellan caught her off guard by pulling out and aggressively thrusting deep inside her, roughly curling the fingers and stroking along the velvet walls before hooking and tugging out.

 _Fuck me!_ The sudden action overloaded her senses and her back arched, her eyes squeezed shut as overpowering wave of pleasure crashed down over and over again. Her moans resounded in the chambers when Sylvira released her lips, whispers of encouragement or compliments or _whatever the fuck she's saying_ in her ear, she couldn't care less. Flashes of white periodically blinded her and she vaguely registered the pressure of the fingers still burrowed deep inside her, slowly caressing in an effort to stall as she rode out her waves of ecstasy. Her hips twitched and rocked to some rhythm she hadn't known, when she'd slackened against the bed in a pile of sweat and exhaustion she whined quietly as the pressure she'd easily grown to love carefully slid out. _Always so careful with me, told her I wouldn't break._

Eyes glued to the coated fingers slick with her juices, her lips parted and she tiredly watched as Sylvira experimentally licked the tip of one finger, humming in approval and sticking all three in her mouth. _Fuck…_ "Your haurasha tastes even better than I've dreamed," _wasn't that stupid word… My nickname once?_ It dawned on her what the word now meant and she huffed irritably, _this cocky arsehole, I'll let her get away with it this time just coz I'm too knackered to even smack her._ Seeing Sera wasn't going to respond, the mage smiled softly and lowered for a tender kiss then whispered against her lips, "Are you tired?" The hopeful tone didn't go unnoticed, and the archer's eyebrows furrowed with guilt, _too buggered to do anything for her. Piss…_ She nodded reluctantly and Lavellan's radiant grin of pride seemed to light up the hazy room, _she's happy with that?_ "Does that mean it was good?"

 _For the love of-_ "You **did** hear me, right?"

"I did, I thought I was going to go deaf with how loud you were screaming." _So damn_ _proud_ _, I would be too._ The sassy retort died in the rogue's throat when Sylvira captured her mouth again, her tongue sliding along the roof of Sera's mouth and swallowing the tired mewl, _stomach's still buzzing. Still turned on, fuck._ "Thank you," _huh?_ The woman chuckled and she rose with her palms on either side of Sera's head, the citron orbs shining with something Sera had never seen before, _why is she thanking_ _me_ _?_ "Thank you for being patient with me Madhlea," she lowered and planted a chaste kiss to the archer's forehead. "For letting me explore the Forbidden Oasis," she lilted playfully, "And not having grainy shit either." The archer laughed weakly, drowsiness heavily coursed her system and her eyes fluttered as she fought to stay awake, "Don't fall asleep just yet," _askin' for the bloody impossible._ Another kiss to the nose before Sylvira suddenly left her and slid off the bed, _where's she goin'?_ "You need to dress up," the mage swiftly collected her clothes and before Sera could ask she turned with them in hand, "Believe me when I say the kids aren't forgiving in the morning."

"Ugh… Can't you put 'em on for me?" The deadpan look Lavellan gave her made her snicker, she reluctantly pushed herself up into sitting, "Alright, alright let's get this shite over with." _Gonna be uncomfy with this friggin' sweat._ As she redressed with the mage's help to stop her from swaying and lulling around, she'd finally noticed that the entire time Sylvira kept her glasses on yet didn't mention anything. _Makes sense when I felt tiny little pricks here and there, 'specially at my neck._ The scarf itself was expected, awkward as it was Sera simply associated the thing as being _part_ of the woman now, like an extension of her. A really _weird_ extension. _Wouldn't be surprised if I frigged her with it on, too._

"You'll be sleeping here tonight, right?" She'd almost sounded like a little child, excited they were about to get a toy, "Beside me?"

"Was gonna anyways, whether you liked it or not," Sera grinned sloppily, the exhaustion burrowed in her deep in every muscle fiber and bone had been tugging on her eyelids as she slackened on the bed. She rolled on her side facing the fire and patted the spot behind her, "C'mere you, no sheets. Fuckin' sweating like I ate spicy shite." The dalish woman chuckled and quickly took her glasses off, levitating them to the desk before fixing the pillows and taking her designated position. _Don't she want it too?_ Sera glanced down, her lips curling in a fond smile at the arm draped around her waist, _she didn't care 'bout the glasses, and she don't care 'bout the bandages. Not with me._ "Hey, Syl..." The archer watched carefully for any signs of disappointment before they'd been composed and locked away, she rotated her upper torso to look behind her, "Don'tcha want me to do the same for you?"

"To be perfectly honest, no," _huh? Not at all?_ "I'm… Slightly uncomfortable with the idea, for some reason. I don't know why myself, and I'm more than content with this for now." _She dunno the reason why she's uncomfy?_ Sera rolled back and scooted closer, her eyebrows furrowed with worry, _don't this daft tit get it's because it was never good for her?_ She'd recalled the technical face the woman had when she'd first confessed about her not willingly having sex with anybody before, she'd been detached but not in the sense she'd gone monotone and shut off about it only thanks to the fact she'd regarded the act as a sort of business transaction. _And that's just as fucking bad._ _Pricks messed her up, what if I can't ever touch her? She'll never know how good it is…_ "If I forget later, can you record in my journal that it was Sexday the 8th we got to do this?" _Sexday? Oh right, Saturday, friggin' loser._ Sera nodded, _don't see the point of writing 'bout it but whatever,_ she instinctively smiled when the warm arm draped around her gave a gentle squeeze, "Thanks, love."

 _Love._ _I can say it now, right? She won't think it's just coz of sex,_ she didn't know exactly how to lead into it however, _stupid to just be all oh hey remember whatcha wrote? I love you too. Fuck, flippin' daft…_ Seconds turned into minutes and the only sounds in the room had been the logs whining as the fire chewed it, along with their steady breathing. Thinking up no other way but wanting to get it out the archer blurted out hastily, "Iloveyoutoo." _Ugh, sounds just as stupid like that!_ Silence, she'd worried her teeth on the bottom lip and steeled herself as she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes widening and relief filling her when she'd seen the mage peacefully sleeping away, her face relaxed. _Always next time,_ she shifted around and buried her arm under the pillow to prop her head higher, her other smoothing over the mage's hand and cradling the warm arm closer to her chest. Thoughts drifted, the blissful afterglow dragged her into the darkness and she welcomed it with open arms, her lips curling into a mischievous smile as she whispered playfully, "Woof, oh baby, aw yeah."

* * *

Two seconds.

One scream.

That was all the warning Sera had before her ribs were suddenly crushed, her body flattened into a pancake, with her sadistic torturers cackling with glee. Thankfully that pressure left just as fast and she sat up, words escaping her lips before mind catching up, "WHAT THE FU-MMPH?!" Something crashed down on her again and pushed her down by the shoulders, anger dissipated when she stared back at yellow and green with something soft forcefully pushed against her lips. _Kissing? Syl's kissing me,_ then that too was gone just as fast, the woman rolling off the bed and scrambling on her hands and feet as she chased one of the kids.

 _Wait._

 _ **What.**_ Sera looked around, Uvun and Grâce were giggling as they'd hopped around like monkeys, with the dalish girl being more acrobatic and creative of the two. She'd leaped on the desk, and somehow managed to jump high enough to grab the chandelier, Sera's eyes bulged out and judging by the look on Sylvira's face she was about to have a heart attack any second. The mage's arms shot out and she carefully stopped the chandelier from swinging around by stabilizing it through gusts of air and warping it to the center of gravity, "Uvun, be careful dammit!" The woman chastised the grinning dalish girl and Grâce climbed on the bed, jumping up and down near the end and **far** too close to the edge for any of the -kind of- adults' comfort. Sera gaped slack jawed at the entire scene, still waking up and still had drool slowly trickling out the corner of her mouth, bouncing up and down thanks to the orlesian girl's frantic jumping. Uvun swung back and forth, bending her legs back and then forward to gain momentum while Lavellan tried to calm Grâce down, and the archer looked away as she bit her fist in a futile attempt to stifle her laughter. "Sera help me! They're too fu-hyper!" _This is_ _too_ _good._

Seconds after Uvun let go, Sera reacted quickly and rolled out of bed, sprinting to where'd the girl would land and catching her as Sylvira spun around. Their hearts beat erratically, and even if the rogue hadn't caught her then Lavellan would have been able to by manipulating gravity but… "You weren't kidding 'bout unforgiving Syl!" _No wonder she's been sporting nose bleeds if this is the shit she's been doing._ "The heck didjya do that got 'em like this?!"

"We don't wanna learn about clouds! Clouds are boring!" Uvun shouted, as soon as she'd been let down by Sera she ran around, shouting with Grâce and the rogue stood as she smirked at Sylvira. _Clouds? She seriously couldn't think of anything more fun to teach?_ The dalish woman sighed and rubbed her temples, conflicted about what to do, _she ought to know they'd wanna play instead._ "Let's dance! We wanna dance, you haven't danced with us in a long time!" _Dance?_

"Alright~ alright," Lavellan held out her hands, "Just calm down a little bit first. Let's show Icky-Kisses the routine we've been working on, how's that sound?"

" **Oi**. Knock it off with the Icky-Kisses already," _and what the heck are they talking 'bout with routine?_

"Too late," the corner of the mage's lips curled into a half-smirk, her canine glinting from the sun that filtered in through the window. Her hair was disheveled and the cotton shirt may have well been wrinkles instead, the scarf slung over her shoulders to avoid tangling around her thighs. "It's in the routine, come on kiddos get into your spots. Oh wait actually we didn't finish the ending right? Want me to show you a new move you can try?" The kids nodded and lined up waiting for instruction, "One moment..." Sylvira strode to the archer and gently pushed her back to the bed by her shoulders as she sang quietly, "Good morning~ darling, sleep well?" _Not really, I had a shite dream but can't say that in front of them._ Sensing the hesitant look the woman gave a chaste peck on the cheek and whispered in her ear, "Tell me later?"

"Maybe. S'no big deal," Sera felt the bed hit the back of her knees and glanced over her shoulder, "Uh, the heck are you doing?"

"Sit and get comfortable, cookie. The kids and I have been working hard since the Irregulars camp and piece by piece we eventually built ourselves a nice little dance routine." Lavellan pushed her down to sit and grinned as she unwrapped the scarf around her neck only to circle it around the archer, "They said they wanted you to be the first person to see it." _Me? Why me?_ The mage walked back to the eager children and positioned in front of them, "I picked up this move in Redcliffe, maybe a few weeks ago now." _Huh?_ "Look closely, alright? It's called the running man, you shuffle in the spot and it'll look like you're -well- running on the spot. Have your left foot at the front and your right foot at the back. Here come to my side and it'll be easier to see, it gets confusing pretty easily." _I'm already confused._ Sera rested her chin on the heel of her palm and her elbow on her knee, her fingers covering her amused smirk as the children eagerly ran on the other side, she still had a nice unobstructed view herself. _Redcliffe…_

 ** _I picked up and perfected a few moves, tipped the bards and told them to play us a special song._**

 _Heh. Loser._ "Alright, the first step is sliding your left foot to the center like you're about to stand straight. Simultaneously -at the same time- lift your right foot and slightly bend your knee, it will also go to the center but remain in the air." The mage talked as she demonstrated and corrected her words if the children had clueless looks, quite frankly Sera was relatively impressed that Lavellan could  actually balance herself on one leg with only a little bit of wobbling. _Maybe I could try this…? Thought it was nob dancing anyways, not this._ "The second step you move your right leg -that's still in the air- forward while sliding your left foot back at the same time. Then you repeat in reverse, your right leg will slide back to the center while you lift your left, you just continue these steps. Cool, right?" It'd been wildly entertaining to see Lavellan's lopsided ponytail frantically sway around as she bounced on the spot, and it actually did look like she had been running too in a very laid back manner, if such was possible.

Excited to try it out, Sylvira encouraged the kids to mimic her and practiced together, Sera suppressed the urges to chuckle at the pout on Uvun's face when Grâce had been able to pick up the move easily. "Now, now, Grâce has learned how to dance since she was younger but she had to practice too Uvun," the mage reasoned, "Instead of wasting time envying her, spend that time to become better than her. It's good to have a friendly rival, because rivals are the best people that help push you to become better than yourself." _Syl yer kinda givin' them the wrong messages,_ the archer smirked, _encouraging their competitive spirit. And is there even such a thing as a friendly rival?_ She pondered on that for a moment then snickered quietly, _I guess we kinda do that sometimes._ Minutes passed by and the rogue had to fight not to look bored as the same routine played over and over again, Sylvira shuffling constantly with beads of sweat lining her brow so that the children had an example to refer to. "Alright, come on. There's not too much time left before I have to attend the usual boring~ meetings, let's show Icky-Kisses what we've come up with and add that move at the end, just do your best alright?" _Finally, this should be entertaining._ Sera brought her arm down and rested her elbows on her knees, leaning forward and mirroring the dalish woman's eager grin.

"Will you be counting?" Grâce asked, she'd been situated a good meter away from Lavellan's left side, with Uvun on the right. "Or shall I?"

"How 'bout you two sing Icky-Kisses while I count?" _Oi! What the fuck?!_ The mage chuckled, "The syllables happen to match, Ic-ky-Kis-ses, 1-2-3-4. More fun, yes?" _Not for me._ The archer struggled not to scowl but made certain her displeasure was shown through her narrowed eyes, the razor sharp slits flashing a warning to the daring woman who clearly saw but obviously didn't care. Uvun and Grâce nodded eagerly and they'd gotten into position, all three had their arms high above their heads with their wrists crossed. _The… Fuck… Is this?_ "Ready? Five, six, seven, eight. One," they snapped their fingers and their arms extended outwards slightly, "Two," another snap, "Three," another, as their arms gradually descended to be level with their shoulders, "Four." As they snapped the three slid backwards, their left foot trailing along and left arm angled downwards as their right swung behind them, risen high once again. At each count they'd moved, slid or tapped their feet, and it'd honestly been rather impressive to see them move in flawless synchrony with each person snapping to a different beat. The taps and the pitches of their snaps were coordinated, the thuds and sliding, the creaks and breathing all created a song of their own, and danced to the music of Sylvira's humming as she sang the count in between.

 _This is what she's been teaching them, since the beginning?_ _All_ _the kids, how to fuckin' dance?_ Though she'd not admit as such out loud unless the children asked, it'd been pretty damn cute to see their focused faces sweating from the hard work, though they didn't match up to par with their dance leader's unexpected grace it made her heart swell with warmth watching the scene. _Inquisitor, Herald, last hope of Thedas, dancing like a fuckin' loser._ The archer couldn't help but laugh when Lavellan stole the moment she'd created as she slid further back than the children out of their vision, she thrust her hips back and forth in a very inappropriate manner as she waggled her eyebrows playfully, a perverted grin on her face. Everything about the dance was perfect, save for the children actually singing 'Ic-ky-Kis-ses' to the count, but if it helped them stay in beat then, _they're just kids. Let 'em have fun, ugh the things I do…_ At the end of the routine they'd suddenly went from flowing graceful moves to the bouncing shuffling Sylvira showed earlier, and the mage danced all the way towards Sera until she'd bent and ungracefully smashed their lips together. _Totally different from earlier._

Sweat trickled down and touched the corner of her lips from where the two women were connected, and from this range she could smell the mango buried beneath the hot air sticking to the slick skin, _fuck._ The pits of her stomach stirred and Sera reached only to remember the scarf was on her, she instead tugged on the v-neck taunting her with a generous view to make Lavellan bend more to her height. _If only the kids weren't here, fuck sake is this how it'll always look?_ Little tingles traveled to pool between her thighs as they parted, the warm puffs hitting her lips from the mage's ragged breathing didn't help her imagination none. She slowly constructed mental images of Sylvira's scent change and heavy breathing for the _right_ reason, and subconsciously rubbed her legs together. "What did you think of our dancing, love?" _Love. Fuck. Gets me every time, stupid word. Honey tongue._

Sucking in a short breath and willing her face blank so that she'd not actually be _icky_ in front of the exhausted children collapsed on the floor, she nodded and breathed huskily, "Really good." _Frig, now she knows._

"Aye," the dalish woman chuckled hoarsely and the lower pitch also sent something shooting down lower for Sera as well, _fuck…_ Before long she'd begun to remember their previous night together, she gritted her teeth as she tried to repress the shudder when Lavellan brushed past her cheek to murmur sultrily in her ear, "Wait until you see what sort of dancing I have planned for you tonight..." A subtle pang kindly informed Sera of the impending doom as the beginnings of an ache formed, she'd glanced from the corner of her eye and watched as the mage leaned back, a seductive smirk on her face promising to keep her word. _Fuck, why tonight? Saving the world can wait a bit can't it?_

According to Sylvira it couldn't, she straightened out and clapped her hands as she spun around, "Alright kiddos that's it for the morning! Your agenda today is to go to Josie for your etiquette lessons and Varric for history." _Pfft, she's got 'em takin' lessons from others too._ "Everything else is up to you," the children groaned exaggeratedly and lightly banged their heads against the ground, _I'd do the same thing, poor runts. Need more fun and pranks instead._ Lavellan laughed as she rested her hands on her hips, _she can fuckin' move those hips too, when she wanna_. The promise of dancing for her tonight formed a little fantasy in her head and she'd caught herself before she grinned like a lecher, _like Syl._ It didn't stop the pleasant little images and she'd honest to Maker prayed that the day would go by quickly, _if she's gonna dance sexy while naked, I'm gonna pounce on her whether she like it or not._

"Come on everybody up, time to get out! Icky-Kisses," **_oi_** _,_ "And I are gonna be late for the meeting if we stall any longer." _Ugh I hate morning meetings, so~ boring._ As Sylvira extended her hand to help the children up, Sera wiped her eyes and blinked a few times when she'd noticed the mage **still** wasn't wearing her bandages, _the… Fuck?_ On a hunch she glanced at the desk and noticed the glasses were on top -albeit near the corner from Uvun's earlier stunt- but they weren't hidden in the drawer like they usually were. _I don't get this,_ she glanced at the scarf still around her neck then eyed the woman's back as she followed behind to the exit, _is she… Working to be fine with it all then?_ As Lavellan opened and held the door, the children cheered and sprinted down the stairs with her worriedly calling out for them to be careful, but as soon as she looked at Sera her expression changed once again, _woof…_ She'd swiftly descended on Sera like she was prey, wrapping her arms around the archer's waist and tenderly capturing her lips in a sensual kiss. But just as suddenly as she came, she disappeared like a gust of wind; the hinges of the door creaked and the mage's heated whisper lingered in the air, echoing in Sera's mind and making her stomach do flips. _That friggin' loser… Honey tongue._

 ** _That look in your eyes when I asked about dancing… Me~ow~ love._**


	20. Per Aspera Ad Astra

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** Per Aspera Ad Astra is defined at the very end in case if you don't remember a certain scene from chapter 3, boy we've come a long way huh? Mixture of steamy and cheesy in this one, Fen and Ena'll be up on Friday (finally) but may be on Saturday depending if I have to work a night shift or not (still waiting for confirmation). This is totally unrelated -sort of- but remember that chapter when Syl asked Sera about baking cookies and "something the kids can learn too?" It suddenly slapped me **now** as I wrote this chapter that one of the things Sera says in-game is so that maybe she could pass it on to her kid (or a kid, I can't remember the exact conversation now). I started laughing because it'd completely escaped my mind when I wrote that scene and was like yup so Sera pretty much got major feels when she reacted the way she did and tackled Syl lol. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chappy :)

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Ara halla:_ Endearment for close friend

 _Pala'len:_ Go fuck yourself

 _Dhava 'ma masa:_ Kiss my ass

* * *

 **Per Aspera Ad Astra**

* * *

"Oi," Sera whispered and gave a slight nudge with her elbow, head tilted and hidden behind Lavellan's shoulder. "Can we go now? This meeting's boring." The mage gave a slight shake of her head and remained focused on whatever it was Josephine droned on about, _always nobby stuff. Who cares?_ She sighed frustratedly when Lavellan strode forward to the war table and instead of telling _Ruffles to shut the fuck up_ , she instead began collaborating with the woman and the other advisors on what the best course of action would actually be. _I like Red's idea. Smack them with their own dirt, that'll get 'em sweating and swearing to the Inquisition, more ways than one._ She crossed her arms and yawned as she scratched the back of her calf with her other foot, earning a few glares from the others but shrugging it off, _don't care. They're just jealous I'm doin' what they wanna do, but the sticks up their arses say they can't._ She grinned in victory when seconds later Sylvira stretched her arms about her head and let out a louder yawn, but no one seemed to react the same way they had to her, _uh huh. I see how it is, arseholes._

Soft humming brought her attention back to the mage who bounced lightly on the balls of her feet, only the right hand splayed on the war table as her eyes trailed along the map, _favorite part, this. Kinda fun watching her think like this._ People would still be talking to her and the information would be absorbed, decoded, and included in one final plan, no detail left out. _Always with the talking, blah blah blah. They can talk for hours, when are we gonna_ _do_ _something?_ Sera noticed that for once, Josephine had been relatively soft-spoken and had a conflicted look in her eyes, as if contemplating what to say or do. She'd seen the way the dalish woman glanced over at her every now and then, seemingly having caught on to this as well. After delegating small tasks to whichever companions offered to take part in a certain plan, Lavellan leaned back and stated with fierce authority, a stark contrast to how she usually was everywhere else, "Meeting adjourned. Everybody is dismissed except Dorian and the advisors," she glanced over at Sera, "You can stay if you want." _Do I wanna or not?_

With a shrug she figured she might as well see what's on, _maybe I can drag her to her bedroom before she runs off doing Inquisiting shite._ Dorian seemed confused about having asked to stay but nodded and moved out of the way as everybody else filtered out of the war room. _Looks like shit's about to get serious,_ the archer noticed the concerned look Josephine shot Leliana's way, and Cullen seemed just as clueless as everybody else, _what's on?_ Sylvira watched the Ambassador closely, even the tiniest hints had to be nitpicked apart when it came to someone well versed in the Game. "Just spit it out already, Josie. What's the shifty eyes for, what's going on?"

"Well… With the Winter Palace Ball coming up so soon and precious little time to prepare for it, there is one other important matter..." Josephine sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, _uh oh, pinching means she don't wanna tell Syl._ Sera glanced over at the tall mage who also seemed relatively nervous, _and Syl knows it's something she'll hate._ Reluctant to continue, the Spymaster stepped forward and finished on behalf of Josephine.

"You need to learn etiquette and the Game."

"Fuck no." Sylvira shoved both hands in her pockets and rounded around the table to leave, the archer snickered quietly with Dorian, _that's it._ Everyone but Sera half-expected another answer, explanation, _something,_ but nothing more was said save for the doors creaking as they opened and slammed shut. The woman left just like that, no more orders, no more words. Sera clasped her hands behind her head and smirked with amusement as she watched the doors for any sudden re-appearances, _yup, she's not coming back either._

"Well that went… Well… I think." _Pfft, uh huh._

"May I ask why she has to learn?" Dorian looked at both disheartened advisors, "She's probably waiting for me at the chess table, perhaps I can convince her." _Good luck with that, game or no game, even rum and smokes won't get 'er to budge._ "If it's anything like the parties back home then," the rogue shot a glare at him, _he better not say fuck all about what she used to be._ "She might die for choosing the wrong fork," _wait, what?!_ "Is that the basic gist of it?" _Even Val Royeaux wasn't_ _this_ _bad._

"Unfortunately," Josephine sighed, "Yes. If the Inquisitor is not careful then it won't be just a matter of the Inquisition in trouble, but her life as well. And if we were to get kicked out of the ball..." _Jeez, it's_ _that_ _important for Syl to know?_

"Well," Sera shrugged, "Ask the kids then." Both advisors gave her a skeptical look, "What? She might not show it but she'll do anything for 'em. See if they can get her to sit down with them while you teach yeah? Or ask them to teach her what they've learned." She tried not to smirk, the images in her mind already amusing her, "It'll work, yeah? Just gotta find the little runts and tell 'em what's on."

"Then perhaps..." Leliana stepped forward with a coy smirk, _oh I know where this is going._ The archer rounded towards the table and started heading for the exit herself, "You'd like to…?" Exactly like Lavellan, the doors creaked and moaned as Sera opened the door. She gave a casual salute and grinned as she left, _I've got better things to do._

"Fuck no."

* * *

"Dorian! 'Bout time, what took you so damn long?" Sylvira eagerly shifted her chair closer as the tevinter man sat down and reset the board, "Playing by myself isn't as fun. I actually lose."

"You can lose against yourself?" Dorian chuckled and relaxed in his chair as he crossed a leg over the other, "Are you implying you never lose against me?"

"Damn straight, go on your move." The dalish mage leaned forward, "They didn't employ you to try and convince me to change my mind, did they?" A shake of the head and Lavellan let out a relieved sigh, "Good. I'm going in there to stop an assassin not mingle with assholes," she reached for her chosen pawn and moved it to a square forward, waiting patiently and analyzing Dorian's every move, thinking and planning ahead. _He's still hiding something, there's no way Leliana and Josie dropped it just like that._

"You may have to mingle in order to catch the assassin," Dorian chuckled when the woman groaned, "I'm only pointing out a miserable and inevitable fact."

"I knooo~ooow, I'm well aware of the rules of the Game but I just don't care. Creators, I'm going to need a healer for my tongue when the night is through." _I may as well bite it off._

"I had no idea you were **that** bold," _ooh~ good one,_ the tevinter man quipped cheerfully, "What of Sera?" _Mm an excellent point, she'd be upset though..._

"I still have my hands, she's naught to worry and seemed rather happy-" her eyebrow rose in confusion when Dorian suddenly leaned forward, a stunned expression on his face, "Uh… What?"

"You… And the imp?"

"Yeah? I thought that was obvious by now since we always talk about her when we play chess." _I can use his distraction to my advantage, nothing gets him losing faster than juicy gossip._

"Well yes but… I implied of her _jealousy_ , you mean to say you two….?" _Ooh~ I get it now._

"Last night as a matter of fact," Sylvira beamed proudly and had a smug grin on her face, "Slept the night with me too, no~ complaints, naturally. Well, lots of snoring." _Everything is going according to plan,_ she nonchalantly took another piece of Dorian's as the man gaped at her, still not paying attention to the game, _the win will be mine in no time_. Her left hand rested comfortably in her pocket but she could feel the beginning tingles settle in, _I'll need to nullify that soon, ah that reminds me._ "After our game I'm going to grab some breakfast really quickly, I'd like to run an experiment in the tower and I need your help for it."

"Ah, yes, about that." Dorian tilted his head and glanced at the hand in the pocket, "What do you remember last night when you were there?"

"Huh? Oh uh..." Lavellan scratched the back of her head, "I was running one by myself and… Someone came by to dispel the pattern I was drawing, then I was back in my chambers. I remember hearing your voice, I'm assuming you carried me?"

"With Solas, who was there **before** me," _what?_ The tevinter man looked worriedly at her, "You don't remember him?"

"Not at all..." Sylvira's eyebrows furrowed and she rested her chin on her hand after she'd moved another piece, humming in thought. "That's strange… So then Solas dispelled the symbol and my magicka?"

"It seems that way," Dorian looked up as if in thought then back down, "Do you remember the nature of this symbol?"

"Can't say I do," a slight shrug and she pursed her lips, "I just remember I needed to add quite a few layers to complete it, and that it was green." She looked up at the confused man, "How did you know to come anyways?"

It was his turn to shrug and he'd successfully captured a few of her own pieces, _damn, now I'm distracted too._ "I didn't, it's… I'm not sure how to explain it. I was going to the tower to search for some tomes and I felt nothing whatsoever for the longest time but then… As soon as I stepped inside the tower, it was as though the entire _air_ changed inside and everything felt heavy in a sort, pulling me down. Like something was trying to push through the Fade, great magical energy. It's nothing I've ever felt before and quite honestly I'd rather not feel it again."

"Interesting..." Sylvira clasped her hands in front of her mouth and hummed in thought, her eyes following Dorian's move but it didn't register in her mind. She'd zoned out, recalling what she could remember and walking through the memory in hopes to reconstruct the images of what she'd drawn. Drawing up a blank, she sighed and returned to the cruel reality of the chess board with the tevinter man smirking haughtily at his checkmate, "Pala'len! You're demoted from ara halla to stinky halla. Fucking rigged shemlen game..." A sigh as Dorian laughed completely unaffected by her insult, _which sucks anyways._ She reluctantly reset the board and leaned back in her chair, catching on to her mistake and -as nonchalantly as possible- stuffed her left hand back in her pocket, _fuck, careless of me, at least he didn't look though so I'm safe_. "In any case, I'll go to the mage's tower and figure out what happened another time."

"Are you sure that's wise?" Dorian asked worriedly, "To be frank, I've seen this happen enough with Alexius, my dear friend. If you're going to attempt the same thing I'd like to be there in case if anything goes wrong." _He'll see the runes on my arms, ask how I got them._

"I'll be-" Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed at the resolve in the tevinter man's eyes, _even if I were to try, I wouldn't be able to dissuade him. He did make an excellent point and something had already went wrong through the first attempt…_ A heavy breath, she reluctantly nodded, "I'll let you know if I try it again." _I'll just say I was either born with it or another experiment gone wrong and that I have no clue why or how it applied the runes the way it did. He won't bite if I actually admit it's out of my fault though…_ Crease lines on her forehead, her mind began to ache as she simultaneously tried to play while thinking of a proper excuse, _there's no other way, he can't be there. I'll need to go to the mage's tower when everybody is asleep and take special precautions._

"Thank you, I'd hate for more holes that ripped time apart and spat demons everywhere. The present apocalypse is much more stylish and cheery," Dorian had been exactly like her, both burying their true feelings and concern through a playful front. It'd been incredibly easy to pick up on it between the two, and the dalish woman smiled coyly as she nodded in agreement, _I can't blame him. I'd be worried too, this isn't a joking topic after all._

"Speaking of cheery," Sylvira leaned forward and moved to capture another piece, "I've been thinking of a romantic getaway for us after the Winter Palace is done, I'm sure we'll need it after that place anyways." She grinned when the tevinter man's eyebrow rose, his expression a silent inquiry if it'd been wise, "I'm not saying it'll be a _totally_ useless trip, you know how I like to have more than one purpose as incentive to do things after all." Relaxing in her chair and crossing one leg over the other she observed and analyzed Dorian's move on the chess board as she spoke, "I propose we go to the Waking Sea, somewhere where storms won't drown us just for standing in them. Find a nice beach, you, me, Bull and Sera, but!" It'd been her turn and she'd already thought of a couple moves ahead, hiding her cocky smirk behind her hand as she waited for the tevinter man to fall in her trap. "Just so nobody else bitches and moans, I figured I'd pick an area where there's a couple rifts to seal. Two birds one stone, right?"

"Hm, not bad." Dorian nodded in agreement, his lips curled in an amused smile, "There's one thing though, well, two. Or three, rather," _the more he thinks about it the higher the count gets._ "One, Bull and Sera. Two, a beach, and three, a romantic getaway?"

"Well when you put it like that of course it sounds stupid," the dalish woman shrugged, "I'm taking Sera anyways -well she doesn't know about it- it'll be a special surprise. I bet Bull can't ever say he's been on a romantic walk at the beach before either."

"Bull's definition of 'romantic' is-"

"Right. Let's not go there," the two chuckled, "In any case, it's out there if you'd like to join. If privacy is an issue we can always camp away from each other, but if you do want to come let me know. I'm going all out with a romantic picnic too," her eyebrow rose in confusion when Dorian laughed, the pieces on the board shook and her jaw gaped slightly, _I've never seen him laugh so hard._ Others in the garden stole curious glances and Sylvira quickly took the moment to make her move before the tevinter man had a chance to analyze what she'd done. "What?"

"I-It's just that, you… Romantic, with that imp?"

"Damn, you too? Sera doubted me also, I'll have you know I can be pretty damn creative and sweet when I want to be."

"Mm," a couple chuckles escaped Dorian as he gradually calmed down, his attention turned back to their chess game without another comment, _he doesn't believe me, ass._

A huff, Lavellan crossed her arms and her lips curled, "Dhava 'ma masa, stinky halla." Knowing exactly what that phrase meant and now aware of eavesdroppers who blatantly watched the exchange, Dorian leaned forward over the board and the dalish woman grinned as she did too, the two messing with the heads of onlookers with their bold flirting and faces mere inches away.

"As you wish Inquisitor, which cheek shall I kiss?"

* * *

One leg thrown over the other, Sera sat against a pillow propped up against the ledge of the window as she relaxed in her room, the end of the quill tickling her chin and foot idly swinging up and down in the air. She stared at the list with several crossed out sentences in her own journal, her eyes glued to one particular line, and she tapped the end of the quill against the page impatiently as she groaned.

 _-Get book. Learn to bake cookies_

 _-Make good cookies with Syl and runts_

A side glance at the cook book on the table, she'd grown bored every time she sincerely attempted to read the instructions. _Even better now that Syl and I can pass this shit on, yeah? S'like family…_ Her teeth worried on her bottom lip and she dipped her quill in the ink pot then scratched out the first line, writing down to ask the cooks in the kitchen instead. _Promised the elfy girl-Uvun right? That we'd do somethin' too, but Syl's always friggin' busy. Ain't no time to even frig._ She'd been reluctant to ask Sylvira if she'd remembered about the cookies or not, _I mean, she calls me cookie now, sappy tit. She'd remember right?_ It'd always been a gamble about exactly what Lavellan remembered, the archer could have sworn she had a photographic memory with some of the specific little things she could remember in reports but then there came the issue of leaving little marks in trees just to remember the trail to get to a certain lake. _Maybe she picks what she remembers? That's flippin' daft, even when I try to remember I forget anyway._ A shrug, _I'll just ask, tomorrow though,_ her lips curled in a smirk and her hips instinctively shifted just the slightest bit.

 ** _Wait until you see what sort of dancing I have planned for you tonight…_**

" _Woof,_ " Sera whispered and giggled to herself, the naughty images in her mind flourished with numerous possibilities, _dance naked for me. Her head'll get big if I tell 'er she's fucking hot though,_ she'd been conflicted with that, Lavellan had always been honest and showered her with compliments, and pride welled up in her any time she'd simply been called sexy or beautiful, _wouldn't hurt to tell her the same every once in a while I guess. Maybe. Fuck words I'll just say it with my hands, Syl knows that's how I talk_. The fancier compliments didn't have quite the same effect on her and she'd figured it was the same for the mage, _down and dirty, that's what we want. Well I want it anyways._ Beside the two lines she'd been blankly staring at she figured she'd jot down her next note before she forgot and lost herself in another fantasy once again.

 _-Ask Syl if she remembers cookies_

Closing her journal, she tossed it on the table along with the quill and ink pot then glanced at the floor, plucking the thin red shirt the dalish woman gave her and bringing it up to her nose. The scent of mango was incredibly faint and wearing off, _could ask her to wear it, ugh she'll ask why though. Or know, then have that stupid look on her face. Plus, sounds stupid to say it out loud._ She bent forward and inched the mug with ale closer to her with her fingertips, snatching it and chugging the bitter liquid down without another thought. A content sigh, she wiped her lips with her sleeve and abandoned the mug on the ground, she bunched up the shirt and brought it to her face again as she inhaled deeply. Her stomach buzzed, or her head, she wasn't quite sure if it was the third round of ale finally hitting her or if it'd been the work of the intoxicating scent. _Smoke, she needs to smoke while wearing this too. That m-fruit whatever it was called and smoke,_ she'd subconsciously chewed on her lip and her eyes fluttered shut, her mind pulled back to the night the two women walked back to their inn after visiting Grâce's family. Clouded eyes with clear want for  her of all people, pipe resting casually at the corner with light smoke floating from both the bowl and past the parted soft lips, _like a dragon, almost. Without the fire breathing I-want-to-eat-well Syl eats now so I-want-to-kill-you bits,_ the shadows played on Lavellan's face and her lopsided grin made Sera lick her lips. The pits of her stomach stirred, the beginnings of an ache lightly throbbed between her thighs and she inhaled the faint scent from the shirt once again.

 ** _Said I want you to cum in my mouth._**

 _Fuck._ Nerves thrumming, her hips instinctively shifted and she'd slumped lower, uncrossing her legs and planting her feet down. She'd parted at the knees as one hand dared to slide down over her leggings and she bit down on her lip, she reached the slightly damp junction of where heat pooled between her thighs. She'd imagined and pretended it was Sylvira teasing her instead, her heart raced a little faster when the mental images went wild, the mage latched on to her throat or nibbling the tip of her ear, playfully lilting when she spoke either coy _rubbish_ words or naughty promises. _Talking's her foreplay, not mine,_ she gritted her teeth and her hips reflexively bucked when she'd pinched the sensitive bundle of nerves through the leggings, frustration laced the edges of her consciousness when the barrier of her underclothes and tights prevented from truly feeling good. The door to her room was unlocked and it wouldn't be the first time someone had walked in on her touching herself either to deliver a message for Jennies or berate her for a prank. She didn't really care apart from the fact it'd often happen at the most inopportune time, when she was really close. It'd especially annoy her when they'd have a disgusted look before forcefully composing it, _pretending they don't wank and frig themselves. Everybody does._

Pleasant humming dulled a little bit as the anger welled up, she immediately cast her thoughts away and slipped her hand underneath the waistband, her fingers brushing past the thin blonde patch of hair and parting the slick folds to her core. _When I'm angry, it don't feel as good anymore, but if Syl pisses me off she still makes it feel_ _ **really**_ _good. Not fair._ For a brief moment she'd had a flashback to the dream she'd had, it'd been similar to the one before where the mage belittled her and the pleasure dissipated again, _fuck, this is annoying. I think about her a lot, I want to think about her…_ She shoved the unpleasant dream to the back of her mind and instead focused on the fresh memories of last night, her fingers mimicking to that of the ministrations Sylvira did, albeit with far more skill and ease considering she'd known exactly what her body wanted, needed, demanded. _Not as fun giving me what I want,_ another breath in, the mango scent eased fraying nerves and soothed conflicting thoughts, tingles danced up and down her spine and electricity coursed through her as she stroked and rubbed. Her lips spread in a grin as words echoed in the back of her mind, and a new fantasy immediately flourished of the two rough housing, fighting for dominance until she'd been taken regardless.

 ** _When we get to the inn you have less than a minute before I have you pinned to the wall and screaming my name, no kissing, no foreplay._**

" _Sylvira..._ " Sera breathed quietly and chewed on her bottom lip as she eased two fingers inside none too gently, how she desperately wanted tonight to come already so that instead of imagining the woman's fingers buried in her it'd actually come true. The only sounds inside her room were shallow breaths and her chest rose and fell faster, _whoever stops me now is gonna get a fuckin' arrow in the face, arseholes walk in on purpose I bet._ There had been something alluring about keeping quiet as the bustling action of Skyhold resounded in the background, plump lips parted and whispers of her lover's name or curses spilling from her without a single thought. _Shit, hate waiting. Want her right now,_ she sucked in the corner of her lip and bit a little harder, the contrast of pain and pleasure wasn't quite the same as the pain from the constant teasing and denying when the mage stalled her release. _Fuck want._ _ **Need**_ _,_ the shirt slipped from her grasp and she pushed it off her so that it fell to the ground. She could still smell the faint scent, the only reminder to help her pretend that the presence she sorely wished was there. There were no stupid or sarcastic jokes to infuriate her, no humming or singing, no awkward moves or comments, no hungry eyes save for the ones dancing in her mind.

 ** _You look absolutely breathtaking, love._**

Heart fluttering, she bit on her lip again and her head lulled to the side, another quiet moan slipped past without her permission. _Look what you done to me, ye friggin' cocky arsehole. You ruined me,_ a very tiny part of her hated how badly she wanted it all, sure she'd reluctantly admit she rather liked the sex dreams and thinking about Lavellan -a lot in fact- but not to the point she'd been obsessively attached. _Like a clingy girlfriend, know how that fuckin' goes. Got my own life, don't revolve 'round her,_ her thoughts begged to differ, along with how often she found herself gasping and wanting the woman lately. "Fuck luv _..._ " Now it had been even worse, now that she'd gotten a taste of reality and experienced what the bedroom will look like from now on. Her free hand subconsciously slid up to her chin, feeling a pair of lips ghosting over hers she murmured under her breath as she thrust a little rougher, she was nearing her climax and didn't want to stall any longer. "Kiss me, Syl." Her eyes shot open when the ghost lips pressed harder, she'd been surprised and blinked a few times when she stared back at hooded citron eyes, _w..h...at?!_ Her fingers abruptly slid out and she'd been at a loss of words when Lavellan parted, one hand gathered up and held back her hair so that it didn't hit Sera, the other holding on to the ledge of the window sill as she bent at the hips to reach the archer, _I didn't even hear her, what the fuck!_

"Don't stop," Sylvira breathed huskily, the playful mischief had been entirely gone and replaced with nothing but longing, "I'm sorry for interrupting you, I couldn't just watch anymore. I had to do something," she bent down and captured the plump lips for another rough kiss, whispering against the stunned rogue's mouth, "Do you know how fucking hot this is? I come in wanting to ask a favor of you and it's like you read my fucking mind, this favor's much better than what I had planned." _Ask me… What? Screw it doesn't matter._ Sera groaned when a hand slid underneath her shirt and pushed her bra up, "This is way better than watching you run around Skyhold," delicate fingers teased taut peaks as Lavellan murmured, "Allow me to reward you for your hard work. You've worked up a good sweat, love." _Fuck. Love._ Sera nodded and hissed in pleasure when she'd abruptly resumed her pace, roughly pushing her fingers back inside her, _I want it to be her, not me._ Her hand slid back out and she lifted her hips slightly, tugging her leggings down to mid thighs and reaching for the tall woman's hand. Both groaned when she'd pressed it to her soaked core, the long fingers easily slipped inside and her moans were swallowed by the hungry kiss. _Got to be uncomfy for her bending like that,_ Sera reached and tugged on the scarf, grateful Sylvira got the hint the two took a brief moment as the mage carefully settled on top of her. The narrow space made it difficult to maneuver, the leggings were pulled right off and one leg hung off to the side with her foot planted on the ground in order for Lavellan to climb over, her hand buried deep within the entire time and the subtle movements as the fingertips stroked along the velvet walls threatened the archer's control.

"My name," the dalish woman breathed quietly as she stared into the depths of the razor sharp slits, " _Please_ , say my name again. My _full_ name." _Why?_ Sera wrapped the dangling ends of Sylvira's scarf around her hands and pulled roughly, their lips crashing against each other ungracefully and the moan lost in the kiss. Her hips bucked instinctively and she'd relished in the dirty sloppy sounds of fingers thrusting in her without a set rhythm or pace, _this is how it ought to be._ Sparks coursed through every muscle fiber in her body every time the heel of the mage's palm grind against her, the pleasurable friction made her see nothing but blinding white. This is what she loved: spontaneous sex, nothing fancy or planned or prepared and the sounds of heavy breaths mixed with choked gasps echoing in her ears. She grinned and writhed greedily, selfishly loving every bit of what was being done to her but deciding she'd torture the mage and make her work for what she'd wanted back, _'specially since I done most of the work for her already and now she's taking the easy way, swoopin' in to finish me off_. " _ **Please**_ , Sera, I'm fucking begging here."

"Don't care," the archer breathed back, "Gotta earn it, not ask for it, remember?" _That's what she said she prefers anyways, unless she changed her mind ah~gain._ "Thought that's wh- _fuck!_ "

"Just one more time, and I swear I'll do whatever you want to earn it, _please_." The arm that held her up quivered, Sylvira carefully lowered on to her forearm situated above Sera's head, their faces an inch apart, " _ **Please**_." Torn between teasing or giving what the woman asked for Sera decided to stall and her hips bucked to meet the hand that grind against her, the answer came quickly without thought as the fingers burrowed within her curled and accidentally rubbed the hidden sweet spot.

"Sylvira, Loser," the rogue hissed as lightning licked her spine and white-hot pleasure blinded her again, "Fuck, shit just fuck me." She tilted her head up to make it easier for Lavellan who smothered her mouth again, roughly suckling and biting her bottom lip, _drives me friggin' crazy all the time._ Sylvira let out a staggering breath, as if the air had been seeped from her and she'd lowered to Sera's ear, the warm puffs made the archer's stomach buzz even harder, _fuck._

" _Again,_ please _._ " Lavellan gently bit down on the tip of the rogue's ear and earned a pleasurable hiss, _what the hell is her deal with me sayin' her whole name?_ She groaned when she felt the lips spread into a smirk against her ears, _shit._ "Sensitive ears mm?"

" _Sh-_ shut up," the tips flushed the faintest pink and heat throbbed at the base of her neck, "Everyone's got sensitive ears," she retorted heatedly. _Got nothin' to do with being elfy._ "Shut up if you want me to say yer name friggin' weird perv," she gasped when the fingers pulled out and slowly rubbed circles around her clit, _fuck I was getting close!_ She growled warningly, " **Syl**. Don't even **think** 'bout teasing."

"Mm~hm..." _She's not even friggin' listening._ Another shudder shot through her as the lips gently enclosed around the tip of her ear, canines grazing the back and tongue dancing along the edges, the sensations of the slow ministrations below and sharp tingles made the heat pooling at her thighs throb with want. "I found out something good about you," Sylvira lilted playfully, "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me." _This fucking…_ Before Sera could retort and threaten her lips parted and a choked gasp tore from her throat instead, the fingers abruptly pushed and sank back inside her as the mage lowered to latch on her neck. "That is," a low hoarse chuckle as the fingers pulled out excruciatingly slow, "If you bribe me." _She's freaking blackmailing me?!_ The muscles in Sera's neck rippled as her jaw clenched tight, gritting her teeth and trying to shoot a menacing glare.

That, however, lost it's intimidating spark with her body squirming involuntarily, her neck and ears tinged pink, her leggings abandoned on the ground as the infuriating woman had what she wanted regardless. Frustration welling up as the fingers alternated constantly, Sera began to regret wishing for the teasing and _not_ getting what _she_ wanted, _careful what you wish for, right?_ "That's it, that's the look I've been waiting for," Lavellan's lips spread in a grin and the citron orbs shone with something the rogue was still unaccustomed to, "Feisty, you're positively mesmerizing like this, Sera. You always know exactly what I want." _That's what she wanted to be bribed with? Loser._ There it was, what Sera herself was waiting for, her heart swelled and she'd felt warm and _icky_ inside from the honey tongue _rubbish, nothing but icky rubbish._ She'd begun to feel uncomfortable lying the way she had, sweat clinging to her skin and the slick juices trickling out of her either pooled on the pillows beneath her or ran along Sylvira's fingers. The electricity traveling from head to toe shot through more frequently and sharper, her head lulled back and her eyes tiredly fluttered shut, her lips parted as she moaned quietly under her breath. _Close, getting close._

"Always wondered what it'd look like if I caught you pleasing yourself," the mage teased her earlobe as she stroked the rim to Sera's entrance, stalling once again, "Every bit hot as I imagined it, even better than that." _If she doesn't give me what I fucking want-_ "Do you have any idea how hard it was to hold back and just _watch?_ It took every ounce of willpower until I just couldn't take it anymore," _shut up, just shut up and fuck._ "To know it was _me_ -of all people to be on your mind- it was _my_ name you breathed," _duh? Is it really that big of a surprise to her?_ A tired moan bubbled at the back of her throat when the fingers thrust deep inside her, she'd been blinded by the white again, hot inferno and shivers coursed through her system until it'd shoot straight down to the pits of her stomach. It twisted and hummed, the coil wound tighter with each thrust and she tugged on the scarf wrapped around her hands, she'd subconsciously chewed on her bottom lip and her eyebrows furrowed as she braced herself for the inevitable.

" _Close_ ," Sera breathed nearly incoherently, "So _fucking_ close..." Higher, closer, ecstasy was within her reach and her thighs quivered, _just a bit more, another push._ "Shite, little more," ragged breaths made her mouth dry and throat raw, she'd barely noticed the flushed heat in her face, "Harder, luv." She bit her lip, another moan forced out of her before she murmured hoarsely, "I won't break."

A nod, Sylvira whispered in her ear, "Try to keep quiet though, your window's open and the kids are playing outside." _Fuck. Fuck my freaking luck and life and ugh. She's asking for the bloody impossible._ She hadn't been given any time to prepare as the pace quickened, the fingers thrust roughly and deeper, the sharper waves of pleasure overloaded her and in her desperation she'd sought out the mage's mouth. She pulled on the scarf and their lips crashed together, her eyes widened for a brief moment then snapped shut as she peaked, the overpowering climax forced sounds out of her no matter how hard she'd tried to withhold them. All of them were muffled, swallowed and lost in Sylvira's mouth who'd growled in approval, her fingers caressing the velvet walls that pulsed and clamped down on her hand. In the thick fog of pleasure and exhaustion draping her mind, with a multitude of sensations wracking every part of her body as it'd writhe then relax, she vaguely registered the smoke in the woman's breath and the scent of mangoes clinging on to her. She groaned quietly when the fingers were pulled out of her inch by inch, watching with half-lidded eyes as they disappear in Lavellan's mouth, humming appreciatively at the taste. "Different than last night, stronger, tangy." Too exhausted to talk or even care, Sera simply slackened into the pillows as the mage clambered lower, kneeling on the ground and gently slinging Sera's leg over her shoulder. _Is she serious right now?_ She hissed between gritted teeth when she felt the warm tongue lick along the coated slit, the rumbles of a groan vibrated through her and she'd instinctively clenched the pillows beneath her.

 _Two times, that's two times she's done this for me,_ she felt drowsy, a thick blanket draped over her mind with only the mouth barely keeping her awake. _She just does whatever the fuck she wants, jeez. Lemme get some freakin' shut-eye._ From what it felt like it seemed more than Lavellan was sating her curiosities and experimenting, whatever it was she was doing or trying to accomplish Sera couldn't find it in her to care anymore. _Can't wait when she lets me do this for her, show her just how good it feels._ Her lips curled in a sloppy smile, _and be proud when it's my name she's whispering, too._ She glanced down and the pits of her stomach churned, her nerves buzzed again at the seductive sight of the golden hair bobbing around and citron eyes focused on her,  only on her, _and nobody else._ "Syl~ lemme sleep," Sera whined, "Yer keepin' me awake, plenty o' chances to play later." Her heart fluttered at the melodic and affectionate chuckle, Sylvira nodded and wiped her lips with the back of her hand as she rose, capturing the archer's lips in another kiss. _Smoke, tangy and sweet, fluffy?_ Her tongue delved inside and she swept near the back of the dalish woman's mouth, she swallowed the low groan and smirked with pride despite the disappointing revelation, _she ate pie without me, jerk._ At that she snickered to herself and Lavellan stared with a confused look, she grinned tiredly, "You ate pie." Then she added when the mage nodded, still clueless as to why Sera was pointing out the obvious, " **Cream** pie, luv."

"My favorite," Sylvira quipped cheekily, mirroring the archer's suggestive grin. She'd carefully lowered Sera's leg back on the ground and plucked her leggings, swinging it back and forth while chuckling at the tired orbs following it. "You are getting very~ sleepy~"

"Har dee haw, gimme," the rogue outstretched her hand and swiped the tights away, only for them to fall on her stomach. "Lemme nap then I'll put 'em on."

"Mm~hm," Lavellan rested her hands on her hips and smirked with amusement, "And if somebody else walks in here?"

"Stay in here and keep 'em out for me then, my quiver's beside the shelf." The fond chuckle was music to Sera's ears, she didn't care anymore and her eyes shut again, sleep heavily tugged on her consciousness. She felt the mage reposition her so that she'd lay more comfortably, something warm draped over to cover her legs up to her shoulders and she mumbled, "Thanks, Syl. Wake me up in half an hour," her lips spread in a lazy grin when soft lips pressed to her forehead, the pleasurable sensations of fingers smoothing back her hair and steady breaths hitting her cheek made her feel giddy, _sappy tit really is gonna stay…_

"Sweet dreams sugar pie," another sensual kiss closer to her ear and gooseflesh rose as a shiver shot through her spine, "Or better yet steamy dreams of me, honey bee."

A yawn and a subtle nod, without realizing it she'd whispered as her consciousness slipped away, " _Love you luv..._ "

* * *

Roused awake very slowly, the first thing Sera tuned in to was how much harder it had been to breathe and the weight on her stomach. She lifted her head, blinking blearily and wiping the drool trickling from the corner of her mouth until her eyes fluttered to focus. _Syl…?_ She reached down, fingers weaving in the fluffy golden hair and giving a light scratch. She glanced down and noticed how the mage had been kneeling on the floor, her upper body draped along Sera's midriff and face turned away from her, _this idiot fell asleep too._ She stifled the need to chuckle and the laughter died in her chest, _don't wanna wake her, not yet. That's gotta be bloody uncomfy though._ Her eyes widened when she looked out the window, the sun had been setting and the moon was already high in the sky, _shit I said half an hour not the whole fuckin' day!_ Not that it mattered to  her, but that meant Lavellan slacked off on all sorts of _maybe-_ important things today, _not that it's a surprise, she is lazy and all. And,_ her lips curled, _this means she's gonna be 'dancing' soon, works for me._ Her eyes trailed lower and her eyebrow rose in interest, the dalish woman had also been sporting the red shirt with the sleeves folded to the elbows, _she's wearing it again… Was she cold or did she know 'bout the smell thing?_

 ** _I want to pretend I'm cold as an excuse to wear a scented shirt too._**

 _Yep, she definitely knows. Friggin' smartiepants cocky arse,_ she'd smirked affectionately as she lightly ruffled the disheveled hair splayed on her, twirling a few strands around her fingers before releasing and watching the curl spring before it'd naturally straighten out again. _How's her hair even do that? Weirdo._ As she stared blankly it donned on her what she'd written in her journal once, she controlled her movements and slowly lowered back down, her arm fell to the side and she blindly rummaged for the dagger in the sheath on the ground. Feeling the hilt, she took the dagger out the scabbard and gingerly tugged on a couple of strands, slicing a small handful and hiding it inside the sheath. _Bits of her hair, weave it into a bracelet._ She'd known for a fact she'd be teased if she asked, even if Lavellan agreed it wasn't worth it, _she'll make fun if she sees it though. Friggin' eyes like a hawk when it comes to shite like that._ She carefully tossed the dagger over the mage and on to the table, the clanging abruptly woke Sylvira who'd jerked, startled from the loud ruckus. _Aw piss wanted to let 'er sleep too,_ to be honest if she were truthful with herself, she'd have woken the woman up both out of boredom from waiting and excitement for tonight's _plan_. "Sera…?" _Fuck. Her sleepy voice. Just_ _fuck_ _._ She wanted to just take that voice alone, run her tongue all over and- _'kay fantasizing 'bout fucking a voice is just weird. Syl's fault, she's rubbing off on me. And rubbing me too, heh._

 ** _You like the sound of my voice, don't deny it. I've seen the looks you give me when I'm humming and singing._**

 _Fuck, cocky arsehole in my head again._ Lavellan had already lifted her head, staring at the rogue with confusion as she tried calling out again, drowsiness still heavily etched in her accent, "Sera?" _I've never actually heard or seen her wake up before unless it was little naps, she's either awake before me or wakes up fast from napping._ Her stomach stirred pleasantly, the archer reached out and managed to catch one of the ends of the scarf then tugged, grateful when Sylvira had gotten the hint. The mage moved slowly, swayed slightly, it'd been clear she wasn't totally coherent just yet and Sera grinned, _takes her a while to get going huh? Wanna see more of this._ Standing on unsteady feet, Lavellan braced one palm beside the rogue's head and lowered, her lopsided ponytail brushed along Sera's cheek as they kissed lazily. _Smoke, too, she smoked earlier?_ It'd occurred to her she had her tights on as well, _the heck, she managed to get 'em on while I slept? Musta been totally knackered then,_ she inwardly chuckled, _she probly had a hard time doin' that in here too. Shame I wasn't awake, guess she came back later then._ "Did you have a better dream this time?" _Better dream?_ Realization dawned on her and she'd remembered the previous night, _oh right and Syl figured out in the morning it wasn't good._ She nodded, she didn't actually remember what it was she dreamed this time but that was better than having another messed up one. "I'm glad," Sylvira hoisted herself up higher, the citron eyes danced despite having exhaustion seeped in the depths of the orbs, _damn, what the fuck?_

"Y'look like shite luv, everything alright?"

"I do?" Lavellan leaned back and tapped the side of her legs, Sera bent at the knees and made room for the mage to sit down. She kicked up the thin blanket and rested her legs on top of Sylvira's lap who shrugged as she spoke, she rose her now-bandaged left hand, _she put 'em back on huh?_ "This acted up again, but I expected it to so I was able to take care of it before it got worse. I had to leave you for a bit but I put your tights back on just in case," the dalish woman looked down and her hands fell on top of Sera's ankles buried underneath the blanket, she'd seemed conflicted with something, _the heck?_ "Uh… So about my favor… Well I have two actually," she smiled sheepishly, and the archer learned early on those types of smiles meant she probably might not like what she was about to hear. Leaning back against the window, Lavellan rested her head against the glass as she craned her neck and held Sera's gaze, "First favor, could I keep a few of my things here, in your room?"

"What...?" Sera's eyebrows furrowed with confusion and her jaw slackened, "You moving in or something?"

"Well I thought about that," _wait, what?! What the fuck!_ "But I figured you'd want to keep your freedom so I decided I'd stay with the kids instead."

"Wait, wait, wait, hold on, slow the fuck down Syl. What happened now?"

"Oh," Sylvira laughed quietly and scratched the back of her head, "Mason Gatsi's finished with the library and all that's left is for all the tomes to go back on the shelves. Anyways I gave him permission to go ahead and blow up my room -not all of it obviously- and he advised that I stay out for the few days just to be safe." _Uh… Still lost._ "Anyways, there's a couple things I don't want the kids to see like the tome-you know if I need to do this again," she pointed to the bandaged hand, "Or if I want to sneak a smoke. Or read something with my glasses, or… Well you get the point. I don't want to steal your privacy though so-"

"Sleep here too," Sera blurted, it irked her that Lavellan was going to stay away out of something _lame like privacy when I don't friggin' care, 'specially if she walked in on me getting handsy._ She grinned at the wide-eyed stare, "Why ya lookin' at me like yer surprised? Might be uncomfy sleepin' the way you just did so we can take turns flattening each other," her grin grew as the color drained from Sylvira's face, "Like a pancake."

"Fuck no, no doggy piling _pleaaaase_ ," Lavellan groaned and lightly hit the back of her head against the glass to emphasize her point, "That's torture, my body will seize up in defense if it thinks it's being assaulted like that again. But..." The citron orbs bounced with restrained excitement, despite remaining composed it'd been easy to see and hear with the subtle hope in her voice, "You really don't mind?"

"You lemme sleep over don'tcha? Only fair if you sleep here too, yeah? Besides, y'know the runts would **never** letcha sleep."

"And you will?" The two grinned coyly and Sylvira reached under the blanket, giving the rogue's ankle a tender squeeze, "Thanks honey bee, I appreciate it." _Honey bee and honey tongue, mm stir together, honey pot,_ the fresh memory of the fingers buried within her replayed in her mind and her stomach stirred, _cream pie._ She'd derailed from that train of thought, _she really do look tired, and it ain't fair if she's frigging me every time but I don't wanna push her._

"The second favor?" Sera blurted, the mental images were at the forefront of her mind and she'd propped up on her elbows, _needa get outta here for a bit so I can stop smellin' sex and think 'bout doing it again._ The scent was tempting her, and the fruity aroma paired with the smoke was testing the strength of her resolve. Her control teetered when the mage seemed conflicted once again, _ugh shite needa get my mind offa this,_ "Just spit it out Syl."

"Uh well, this one's stupid. Really stupid," _what's new?_ Lavellan let out a strained chuckle and scratched the back of her head, "I need you to teach me how to do a back flip." _Uh huh._ "Or front flip, whatever is easier." _Neither, with you. This is gonna take a miracle._ "The end goal which I'll need two miracles for," _more like three or four,_ "Is a somersault." _Okay._

 _Well then._

"Yeah..." The corner of Sera's lips quirked in a mixture of apologetic smile and _just give up now,_ "You're kinda askin' for the impossible luv. I mean I could teach you but… It's  you, you wobble standing on one fuckin' leg, yeah? Yer gonna be sporting bruises and cuts just from a handstand."

"I know, but that's why I'm asking you. I'd rather you teach me than Thedas's most professional flippers or whatever," that made the archer's heart swell a little, _always says sappy stuff,_ "Which you may as well be since you do somersaults like it's fucking brushing your teeth or something."

A chuckle, "'Kay well it's not _that_ easy, even for me. Takes work, a bit. Why the bloody hell d'ya wanna learn how to flip, though? Show off for the runts or somethin'?"

"I didn't think of that, guess I could," Sylvira had a distant and dreamy look in her eyes, "Imagine them screaming how cool their big sis is?" _Yeah. No._ "Anyways," a shrug, "You won't like it, but it's for magic." _Oh, yep, she was right._ She hastily explained, "One of the patterns I want to learn how to draw has a sequence that requires a large half-circle done in the sagittal plane," _the_ _what_ _?_ "I've measured and tried to extend my arms as much as I can but I don't reach far enough and I'm not flexible to bend that far sideways. I hypothesized that if I were to concentrate energy at my-"

"Alright, alright," Sera rose her hand to signal stop and sighed, _I'm gonna regret this._ "No need to friggin' explain rubbish I don't get or _want_ to get, I'll teach you, yeah? Or try to anyways," she glanced outside, the sun had set and the stars shone bright in the clear night sky, "Uh… Right now?"

"What?" Lavellan rotated her upper torso and craned her neck, her breath puffed up the glass and she looked at the sky, "Oh, no. Damn time sure flew by fast today, I barely did anything."

"Is that s'posto be a surprise?" Sera teased cheekily and grinned when the mage shot an adorable mock-hurt face, _she makes it hard for me not to fuckin' pounce on her._ "Speaking of surprises..." _I wanna know what she wanted to do tonight, oh piss right we can't be in her room unless we wanna get blown up, fuck._

"You've been waiting eagerly I see," the dalish woman chuckled softly, "Feet off then, let's go."

"Huh? Go where? You can't dance in your room if-"

"Room?" Sylvira shook her head, "We won't be dancing in my room," she thumbed over her shoulder and tapped the glass, "We will be dancing outside." _Uh… What…?_ "Just come and try at least, you owe me a dance since Redcliffe, you know." _Huh? I never agreed to any friggin' dance._ The archer sighed and nodded reluctantly, _if she planned it might as well see what it's actually 'bout then. Better not be the nob-type dance, I'm gonna regret this aren't I?_ Within seconds the blanket had been ripped off of her and the woman bounced on her feet, she'd given a curt bow and held out her hand, "Allow me to escort you, _darling._ " _**Definitely**_ _regretting it, ugh stupid nickname…_ Lavellan had a charming grin and the rogue rolled her eyes, _such a sap,_ she took the offered hand and rose, a hand smoothed to the small of her back to help her maintain her balance in the messy tight quarters. "Here, I wore this shirt for a few hours and blew my smoke down on it too, oh and however long I slept in it while I was here with you." The red shirt came off in a flash and Sylvira helped wrestle it on when the archer rose her arms, the soothing warmth embraced her and the sweet aroma overwhelmed her nose, _this is more like it. She wore this on top of her own shirt, wasn't she friggin' boiling?_

"Thanks luv," for some reason Sera felt a little squeamish, her stomach buzzed with bees and her heart fluttered as the tall woman intertwined their fingers together, gently pulling on her and taking the lead as they exited the tavern. The looks of envy or disgust from onlookers didn't go unnoticed by either of them, there had only been a few cheerful whistles and all came from a handful of drunk companions mainly being Bull and Blackwall. The archer gaped at the lopsided ponytail cheerfully swinging to and fro, the relaxed shoulders and the reassuring warm hand squeezing hers, _she's always doing somethin' for me, this whole time. Always trying hard when she don't needa and she knows it,_ her eyebrows furrowed, _I don't do nothin' special for her, I oughta. Gift, maybe? But what the fuck would she even like, ugh gift's stupid…_ She groaned when they'd briefly stopped at the stairs near the dummies Cassandra abused, and that sentiment was shared by the mage who smiled apologetically. "Alright c'mon, let's get this shit over with." The stairs to the battlements wasn't _so~_ bad, and it'd been rather entertaining to see Sylvira breathing harder when they finally reached the top. "The heck you takin' us up here for Syl?"

No response, she'd stared at the back of the golden hair that had been illuminated by the light from the moon and stars. The squeamish feeling never left and it honestly unnerved her, she'd actually felt nervous and didn't know why. She'd been tugged to the railing and Lavellan circled to press into her back, warm arms wrapped around her waist. "With precious little time and not knowing what might happen to us at any given second," the woman spoke quietly and sadly, "I want to spend every moment I can with you and make it count." Heart fluttering, Sera averted her gaze to the stars as she tried to stave off the gooey feelings threatening to melt her in a puddle, _sappy honey tongue, s'just words, what's with me?_ "My new favorite hobby is star-gazing with you, because they shine in your eyes." The rogue bit on the corner of her lip and released from the sting, _been doing that a lot today._ She craned her neck up and looked at the citron orbs that peered back down at her, eyes that held all sorts of emotions and secrets, light, and dark. She realized she'd seen nearly everything, even the things locked away in the depths.

"Remember when I said you help me forget the dark?" _Now that you mention it, I do._ A slight nod, though uncertain where the mage was going she didn't dare stop to ask, curious as to what Lavellan meant with all of this. "It is in the darkest of nights that the star shines the brightest," a serene smile, Sylvira lost her courage and looked up at the sky though the archer had been completely confused, _the heck did she mean by that?_ "When I looked up last night I thought to myself, maybe I'll ask Sera if she'll be my star, and I can be her sky. I thought it was fitting at the time, where I live so you shine, but I was wrong. You've always shined regardless." _None of this makes sense, where's she goin' with all this sappy stuff?_ "Looking now," Lavellan pointed up, "You're like the whole fucking sky to me." A deep breath, then a strained chuckle, "If a star fell every time I thought of you the sky would be filled to the brim, because you never leave my mind." _Why's that sound familiar? Don't remember her sayin' that before… I think._

"Syl," Sera choked out, her tongue felt like cotton but she'd been grateful that at least the chill in the air had been chased away by the woman and the warm shirt, "I don't get half the rubbish yer saying." _And the other half's got bees in my belly._

"Sorry," Sylvira chuckled, "Just rambling that's all, you know I like stars." She'd rocked left and right, forcing the rogue to move with her, "Dance with me here?"

"What…?" _So this is what she meant?_ "I dunno how, and there's no music." Her heart squeezed and the buzzing intensified when the mage lowered to her ear, humming a soft hymn as they swayed to and fro. The tender arms wrapped around her waist squeezed and guided her, their cheeks brushed together and Sera slid her hands on top of Lavellan's as they rocked back and forth. _This ain't so hard,_ the tips of her ears tinged a light crimson and warmth throbbed at the base of her neck, _fuck I'm like a lovestruck brat or somethin', this is friggin' daft innit?_ Under the ocean of stars, she'd come to appreciate why Sylvira liked looking at them so much and found herself looking up at the sky more often lately, _goes on forever, get lost up there. Too bad it don't last forever though but..._

 ** _I want to spend every moment I can with you and make it count._**

"Find what makes your heart sing," the soft hymn gradually grew more quiet and they'd danced to a different song, "And create your own music." _Friggin' honey tongue, wouldn't trade this for the world even if we look like tits doin' this._ Their hearts beat at different rhythms yet their bodies in sync, Sera felt stupid dancing to nothing but silence save for distant sounds of patrols or recruits in late-night training, _so lame._ Her lips curled in a fond smile and she giggled nervously when she remembered something, _we really did come a long way since then._ "Hm? What's so funny, cookie?" The archer turned in the embrace and tugged on the scarf to make Sylvira bend, she rose on her toes and met the soft mouth that affected her, made her feel all sorts of things all the time, _and she said I make her feel whether she wanna or not, Loser got it mixed up as usual_. When she parted she ghosted along the lips, her eyes had a glint of playfulness and she'd hoped the woman would remember too, _she will yeah. It's what started this all in the first place._

"From shit to sparkles, luv."

 _To the stars through difficulty._


	21. A Day in the Shoes of the Inquisitor

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **AN:** More like a random tid bit piece of information, a "Chew stick" is something -if not by personal lifestyle choice- Africa and some Asia countries use instead of a toothbrush. In our day, the "miswak" is the most popular type and has many benefits (with the con of scraping your gums), the chew stick is exactly what it sounds like. A small branch with frayed ends that you chew in order to brush your teeth. Just to help clear things up for later :)

* * *

 **A Day in the Shoes of the Inquisitor**

* * *

"Fuck, how do you sleep like this? Oh right you're bloody short so it works for you, but-"

"Shut **up** Syl," Sera growled, she gave a harsh pinch to the mage's side and shifted so that she'd settled comfortably on her make-shift pillow. "Or else I'll flatten your fucking ass, want that?"

"You are anyways!" Lavellan hissed, her head rose then abruptly dropped a few times, soft thuds of hitting the pillow were the only sounds apart from their breathing and bickering. "I won't be able to sleep because of you and it's not for the right fucking reason, as usual." Another pinch and she yelped, "Are you always this aggressive when you want to sleep in here or what?"

"I'm tryin' to make you shut up."

"Pinching and hurting me is counterproductive don't you think?"

"Shut up." _Annoying her is so much fun._

"You're so romantic, you know? I took you out to dance under the night sky and-"

"It's romantic and bloody sweet of me to **willingly** sleep with you even with yer yacking."

"Ouch! Am I that bad?" Sylvira grinned as the archer lifted her head, giving a deadpan stare, "Admit it, you love it when I drive you crazy. I bet you thought you'd keep me up huh?"

"I'd love it more if you'd let me sleep already ye daft twat! Fuck Syl I really am knackered, lemme get some shut-eye already."

"You already slept half the day!" Lavellan let out a frustrated huff, her goading failed when the rogue pursed her lips in an attempt not to take the bait. "Even your parents knew you were gonna be an arse when they named you." _Aw damn blurted that out when I've been saving it too._

" **What**?!" Sera's head shot up, laughing at the out-of-the-blue statement, "Where did **that** even come from?!"

"Well, do you know what an anagram is?" A shake of the head, "It's when you rearrange the letters to form a new word. If you rearrange Sera, you end up with Arse. See? Your parents knew it too." _I wonder what they're like?_ She paled when images of threats and arrows bounced around in her mind, _never mind not curious, I suck with parents. Sera would prank me and tell them I'm defiling her too._

"And yours knew you were gonna be a perverted fuck," the archer chuckled as she laid down, though Lavellan caught a hint of sadness buried in the razor sharp slits, _she's never cared before, did I hit a sore spot with her name?_

"I've been making you flying and soaring, haven't I?" A simple 'mm' was her answer and the mage took that as her hint to drop the subject, "If you turn around I can eat you out, that'll get you sleeping in no time." She grinned when she felt something swat her chin, the rogue grumbled sleepily and blindly hit her, " **Sera** doesn't want sex?"

"Shut **up** already. How the hell are you hyper?" _It's thanks to you._

Ignoring the request as usual Sylvira continued, "I noticed you keep a journal too. Am I allowed to read it when you're around?"

"Nope."

"Okay I'll read when you're not around then," another swat, the dalish woman looked down and her lips spread in an even larger grin. Her heart simultaneously squeezed and swelled with warmth, threatening to burst as she observed the side of Sera's face, "Surprised you're not suffocating in my bosom. That doesn't sound like too bad of a way to go."

"Tits. Who the hell says bosom?" The archer murmured back, "They sure are comfy." _Not for me._ "How the fuck do you walk 'round with these jugs all the time?"

"My back hurts some days, want to fix that?" _I already know the answer, but worth a try._

"Nope you're on your own. Not my problem you got big tits, for an elf too." At that the rogue paused then lifted her head, drowsiness heavily etched in her eyes, "Hey Syl, I been wondering 'bout that actually. How come yer so tall and shite? Seen loads of elves," her eyebrows knitted at the mage's frown and trailed off, "But if they're that tall it's usually coz..."

"I'm not elf-blooded if that's what you're suggesting and as you can see I still have elven features with extra-pointy ears. Both my parents were elven." _Were._ Sudden guilt welled up until it'd be shut off, and the dalish woman spoke softly as she stared at the nook's ceiling, "The reason isn't peachy or simple. I doubt you'd want to hear it."

"Try me. Or this one of your 'that _implies_ it's not a topic for' whatever?"

"Heh. You're finally picking up on it," another swat, Sylvira tried to relax on the pillows beneath her as she wrapped her arms around the archer's shoulders. "It's not an implication though, I was genuine about it's not something you'd like to hear." A slow inhale, and blurted out hastily, "It's because of the experiments my former patron performed on me." She felt Sera tense, she avoided the intense gaze and could feel the razor sharp slits peering into her soul, she sighed tiredly, "I told you it's not something-"

"Why did he do it?" The accent had been laced with anger, though forcefully contained, "What's that got to do with you bein' tall?" _I'm surprised she's still pressing without losing her shit._

"As much as you hate it, elves are naturally tuned to the fade," a scoff, _knew it._ She raced the next part to prevent being the reason why Sera did lose her temper, "When my Master-" they both stiffened and Lavellan corrected herself quietly, "Former patron… His experiments, they tempered with this connection and more so because of my magic." _I would rather have had my body defiled over and over again than my mind. In a way it was._ The grim reminder of it all had been trifling with her flickering feelings, she'd slipped into the emotionless state without realizing and continued, "Not blood magic or so far my own research has found out at least that much. To be perfectly honest I don't know why my growth wasn't stunted instead, can you imagine me as a dwarf?" _The right height for Sera_ _all_ _the time. Heaven._

"This is what you do in that fancy tower?" The question was soft, oddly lacking it's fear though the rogue's body had made up for that in tension. Sylvira nodded slowly, _or perhaps she's caught on to the monotone accent, and is already well acquainted with the fact that isn't a good sign. I can't help it, it sounds weird to me too._

A cough to clear her throat, "There's much of me that even I don't understand," a short breathless chuckle, "I'm like a walking magical artifact." Sera shivered and she tightened her embrace, "Sorry, probably not something you'd want to hear about your girlfriend huh?"

"Oh so it's girlfriend now? I don't recall you askin' me out." _It's not like you care for official shit anyways, I'm on to you._

"Seriously?" Sylvira looked down and saw the nervousness battle with mischief in the brown-green orbs, _it's an uncomfortable and scary topic for her. For both of us. One step at a time._ "I thought by calling you love, confessing as such," _just like you had out loud, which surprised the hell out of me and since then I've been trying to spit the words out too. I don't know why I can't, even if I've written it._ "And fucking you twice pretty much guarantees you're my future wife. I wrote my vows already," the archer's eyes widened and Lavellan grinned playfully, "What? I did propose to you before remember? Just because I was shot down doesn't mean I'm going to give up that easily." _There it is, I love this look. Halla in an arrow's path, frozen stiff, lips moving up and down with no words coming out._ She'd slipped a finger underneath Sera's chin and tilted her head higher, flexing and bending as far as she could to give a chaste kiss against the pinkish forehead, "After Corypheus is dead, I intend to lead an exalted march on your body until every part of you sings the Chant of Sylvira every single day for the rest of our lives."

"Oi Syl, want some mint leaves? You need it actually." _Suggesting I'm full of shit are you? Not all of it was._ Sylvira chuckled and the rogue poked her in the side of the waist, her hands slid up and clutched the mage's shirt as she adjusted to be more comfortable. _Don't think of flattening, not doggy piling, not at all. What the fuck does she eat? She's heavier than she looks, or am I weak? Totally because of the runts assaulting me all the time._ "Nothin' to say?" _Well I do, but it's wiser to keep shut._

"Mm. I'll leave you alone for now."

"'Bout time yer letting me sleep. Or you got somethin' weird planned?"

"You're laying on top of me," Lavellan noted with amusement, "I'd have to work a miracle to get you off without waking you up." A short yawn of her own, "Plus I'm tired too, it's been a long day today." She bent slightly to reach and give the top of Sera's head a chaste kiss, reveling in the feel of hair brushing against her face and smiling as she leaned back, "Night Icky-Kisses."

" **Oi**. Yer pushin' it," Sera mumbled warningly before letting out a drowsy laugh, "Friggin' daft tit." _Mumbly sleepy voice again, always fun to see and hear this side of her._ The dalish woman gave a brief squeeze and shimmied down a bit, trying to find extra comfort where none was had, _too tall for this damn nook, too much clutter._ In the dim lit room with only the moon illuminating the disorganized mess of a nook, she'd vaguely seen her own things joining the pile of mess beside the shelf and grinned proudly, _I'm lucky my gamble paid off and that she did offer for me to stay here. Gatsi only closed off the room he's working in and there's no dynamite to be had, already told him to pay no mind to the explosion warning sign. This way there's no place for Leliana and Josephine to ambush me and I get to sleep with Sera for a whole week to boot, no excuses needed._ She let out a content sigh and gazed dreamily out the window, her eyes lighting up just like the ocean of stars, _the perfect plan executed perfectly. I'm fucking good._

A soft snore rang out below her and she looked down in astonishment, _Sera's already asleep? That didn't take long._ Her lips curled and she carefully slid her fingertips under the rogue's chin, adjusting her head so that she'd be a little more comfortable, _or she'll have a killer neck cramp in the morning. I'm calling her my pillow tomorrow, take turns. Only fair. Not that she'll actually agree but worth a try._ Her racing thoughts gradually slowed, her abundant energy taking a break, her consciousness tugged to the darkness with each slow breath. She wanted to lay awake just for a moment longer despite being exhausted herself, to have a minute worth of pure silent peace to enjoy. It'd been something she had been lacking lately, a moment's reprieve to just stop and breathe in fresh air, for her mind was always on the go and her agenda was always lined with things to do.

 _And it'll be the same tomorrow._ A small sigh, she felt she needed a true break soon, to just let loose and do absolutely nothing productive all day, _perhaps I'll put my new hiding spot to good use._ At that a semblance of burden had already lifted, knowing if things -primarily people- got too much to handle she at least had a safety zone from everybody and everything to unwind, lest her mind unravel instead. The drunken cheering below served as a familiar lullaby that brought her back to her old life, traveling from inn to inn since she'd always been on the move as an agent of the Mages' Collective. One by one each thought drifted off and her overactive brain finally laid to rest, she'd fallen asleep with the corners of her lips curled upwards in happiness she hadn't felt in months. _The first night in Sera's room, with Sera in my arms._

* * *

"Uh huh." Sylvira crossed her arms and scanned her surroundings, _dreamland, about time I'm in conscious control again but,_ she pointed to the tall woman that stood before her, "Okay what kind of sick joke is this?" The tall woman said nothing and Lavellan rested her hands on her hips, "Just so we're clear, I'm the prettier one." _Why would I dream of a fucking doppelganger?_ She could feel a headache coming on already and her stomach churned, _in a dream too, seriously?_ She strode carefully to the imposter version of her that had been copied  perfectly, _not as perfect as me,_ and took note of the details. The eyes glowed a bright blue and she could see the blue lines illuminate beneath the long-sleeved shirt, she stole a glance at the despondent doppelganger before rolling up the sleeve. _Is there some sort of message in this dream or what?_ Inspecting her own arm, she noticed she didn't have the engraved runes and frowned at the silent imposter, "Are you the opposite me or what?" _Could be useful if they took care of the etiquette shit for me but right now..._ "This is freaky, say something."

Out came a thwack.

"Ay what the fuck was that for?!" Sylvira shuffled back a few steps and glared at the doppelganger who stood calmly, the arm fell back to their side, and the mage frowned as she demanded once again, "The heck did you smack me for?" _Don't tell me… The opposite version of me is broody and silent?!_ The horror, the absolute horror, "No, no, no, we won't have none of that here. I'm not me unless I make jokes and talk-even if it's incoherent rambling. At least sing?" She gazed with a deadpan expression when the imposter looked to be in thought momentarily then stepped forward, giving another light smack across the head, "Really? I meant you sing, not me. Fuck… This gives beating myself a whole new meaning." _What a messed up and useless dream._ Suddenly the doppelganger curtsied politely. _Wh..ah...?_

 **Curtsied.**

 **Politely** **.**

"Okay _now_ this is going way too fucking far," Sylvira shoved her hands in her pockets and rotated her torso, taking a look around the barren plains they stood in as often happened when she'd be in conscious control. _So much for control. Weirdest shit always happens in these ones,_ "Alright well, let's try this again." She turned around and faced away from the imposter, "Ruler of dreams, wake me up in exchange not to-" her elbow grabbed, her head snapped back and she glared over her shoulder, "Oi, let go of me."

"You are you no longer." _The fucking nerve! And what's with the weird speech?_ Lavellan shrugged off the illuminated hand that gripped her elbow and looked back at the blank sky, _obey me, wake me up!_ She chewed on her lip at her choice of words, the dream echoed dreaded words before she'd snapped awake, back in the safety of being a glorified pancake with the sun lurking behind the tallest tower.

 ** _Yes, Master._**

"Fuck..." Sylvira breathed and wiped her forehead with the back of her right hand, "That was messed up." She looked down and gave a slight nudge to the archer drooling on her, "Wake up honey bee," _this feels slightly uncomfortable. And not romantic, maybe cute? To somebody else anyways, wait until they're on the receiving end._ In the thick drowsy fog blanketing her mind it'd been then that she registered how she couldn't move her left arm and stared at it in a panic, it'd hung limply off the side and she couldn't even feel her fingers brushing against the floor. Pins and needles ran up and down and she rotated her upper torso, rousing the rogue and discovering she couldn't even feel her arm scraping along the side of the ledge. "Oh fuck," _is this what the dream was warning me about? Fuck, shit,_ "Sera," she tried to remain composed and gave a slight shake of the archer's shoulders, "Wake up, please. I can't feel my arm." That instantly gave quite the scare and Sera shot up immediately, eyes wide though remnants of sleep heavily etched in her features.

Furiously wiping the drool off her chin she gazed at the limp arm, "Whaddya mean you can't feel it, what the fuck did you do?"

"I don't know," Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed in thought and she reached over, gripping her forearm and draping the arm across her midriff before sitting up, "It's dead, oh my fucking-my arm is dead Sera. What the fuck do we do now?" _Was it the brand? The runes? The anchor? There's too many variables! I don't even know where to begin to experiment and bring some semblance of control back._ The pins and needles sensation intensified and she poured all her focus in moving her fingers, it'd been incredibly difficult but she managed to curl her fingers, "What the hell is-"

"Calm yer tits luv," the rogue chuckled and had a playful tone, she scooted closer as she straddled Sylvira's thighs, _she's the one that freaks out for this crap, how can she be calm about this?! This arm is what's responsible for saving the fucking world, everybody would be screwed if it just died! I have to think of new ways to seal the rifts now,_ the mage searched the mischievous razor sharp slits for answers as Sera carefully picked up her _dead_ arm, wiggling the wrist back and forth and rolling up the sleeve. _What… Is she doing?_ The archer rubbed along the forearm, "And? Try moving," Sylvira complied and was astonished when she didn't  just move her fingers, but her wrist as well. "See? Not," her voice cracked for a second, her eyes bounced with amusement as the dalish woman stared at her in awe, "Dead." _How did she do that? She doesn't use magic or anything and-_ Lavellan's eyes widened when the rogue let go, she'd been able to keep her arm in the air of her own will and strength. "Awake yet Syl?"

Realization dawned on her and the mage's head hung dejectedly as the gears in her head finally started turning, murmuring quietly, "Not a word."

"Don't get how ya do that, wake up fast from naps but yer a full-on dumbass when-"

"I said not a word," Sylvira pleaded, she rubbed her wrist of her previously _dead_ arm and sighed, _it was just fucking asleep._ "I blame my dream, I had a really freaky dream and that's why I thought..."

"Uh huh. Cheer up luv, everyone's an idiot wakin' up yeah? Your head needs time turnin' the rusty gears."

"I'm not an idiot," the mage mumbled with a sulky tone, pouting as she continued to rub through the bandages, "It was the dream's fault..." A finger slid under her chin and tilted her head up, shooting a sullen look at the radiant grin on Sera's face, _making fun of me._ She averted her gaze and whispered quietly, "It's not funny, it really was scary."

"Keep this up and I'm gonna pounce yer bones Syl," _she likes me being broody?_ She contemplated it for a moment but still felt uncomfortable at the prospect of being on the receiving end during sex, _we'll get there, eventually._ The archer gently guided Lavellan's head to face her, leaning forward and giving a tender kiss as she desperately withheld the laughter bubbling in her chest. _And she complains that I'm an arse when she is too._

"Fine," Sylvira sighed, "Go on, get it out of your system." At that very instant the rogue collapsed into a fit of laughter, rolling off and tumbling against the table as she crashed on the floor. _It's not that funny…_ Eventually a calloused hand reached and grabbed on to her knee, Sera wheezed for air to sate her starved lungs as she pulled herself back up. The dalish woman's bruised and battered ego protested to the lips that crashed on to hers, though she damned it all eagerly the moment the persuasive tongue delved into her mouth. _Hello~ good morning to me~ I can get used to this. Finally I can use that line that-_

"Whoa," Sera reeled back and snickered quietly, _huh? What now?_ "Mornin' breath luv, smells like arse. No wonder I can smell your bullshit so easily."

"What?!" _What did I do to her to deserve this?_ "My breath does not stink  that bad!" Lavellan grumbled and pushed the laughing archer aside as she rose, marching to her pile of things beside the shelf and searching for the container, "Fuck. I was all romantic and sweet to you last night and-" she shot a dirty glare over her shoulder when the sounds of crashes rang out only to find Sera had collapsed on the pillows, arms wrapped around her ribs and complaining how she was going to be the one that was dead and limp soon. _And she calls me the jerk..._ Finding what she wanted, she popped open the container and carefully picked out the toothbrush made of cattle bone with fine horse hair for the bristles. It'd been one of her newer inventions, and she grinned proudly at the rogue's obvious look of curiosity, "Better than a chew stick if you ask me, not scraping the shit out of my gums anymore." Stuffing it in her mouth, she idly brushed and went back to her pile of things, sifting through the wreckage and taking mental note of what had been here versus what was moved to the quarters the children resided in.

"Can I try it?" Sera slid off the ledge and cautiously wove through the disorganized room until she knelt beside the mage. She craned her neck forward and inspected the toothbrush with a keen eye, "How'd you make one of these suckers?"

Pushing the toothbrush to the corner of her mouth, Sylvira muffled as she explained, "Drew the schematic with precise measurements, Harritt and Dagna are the ones that made it for me." A shrug, "Probably Harritt, he's got experience after making my pipe, the dragon-claw one." She took hold of the brush and worked on the other side of her mouth, shooting a sullen pout at the rogue, "You can try it if you want," _we practically share saliva anyways,_ "But you'll complain about my arse-breath again."

"I won't," Sera's massive shit-eating grin had been a blatant hint that she most obviously will, and the mage shook her head, _not falling for it._ "After you clean it anyways."

"Stick to your chew sticks, this brush is mine. Get your own!"

"Make one for me," the archer balanced on the balls of her feet and playfully bumped shoulders, "You're the one with the big fancy plans and rubbish. C'mon smartiepants, big inventor and all that pish yeah?" _That's the closest I'll get to a compliment from her, I'll take it._

"You make an excellent point," ego stroked, Lavellan smirked smugly and nodded, "Very well, I'll make a trip to Harritt after the meeting and ask him to make one for you. You're picking it up though."

"Sure," Sera patted the mage's shoulder, "The heck you doin' to your pile of shite anyways?"

"Cataloging-er just taking note of what I brought here." Sylvira shrugged then rose, she picked up the empty mug laying on the ground and spat in it to get rid of everything she'd brushed off, levitating the toothbrush until it'd safely landed in another mug on the shelf that had been filled with water. She gave her largest grin as she turned to the rogue, pointing to her teeth, "And? Care to give my arse-breath another try?"

"Not 'til after breakfast," the archer teased and Lavellan deflated, _it's_ _that_ _bad?_ "What? Don'tcha wanna kiss me when I got sweet breath too?" _Oh, good point._ She nodded and Sera chuckled, grabbing the mage's wrist and leading her out the tiny room, "Knew it." _Perhaps I'll douse the bristles in a scented edible oil, peppermint? A taste Sera would like, leave her breathless and wanting more when we kiss. I'll ask Josie to-oh shit that's right._

"We'll have to eat fast though, or we'll be late for the meeting," Sylvira paid no mind to the extra attention the two received, _more than likely because I came out of her room,_ she smiled softly as she glanced at the calloused hand wrapped around her wrist, _and how I'm letting her drag me around. Has she picked up on this? I wonder…_

"Probly already missed it luv," _huh?_ The mage's eyebrow rose in confusion and Sera shot a radiant grin over her shoulder, "Sun's blocked by the towers, yeah? By the time we get to see it, it's near noon." _Oh_ _fuck_ _._ "Great for sleeping in." _For you! I'm never going to hear the end of it from Josie and Leliana 'politely' jabbing at me for shirking my duties again._ "Better than your fancy room, yeah? Mine's better."

"It was automatically better before that fact," Lavellan blurted and smiled warmly when it was the archer's turn to glance at her confusedly, she pulled her wrist away from the grasp before they'd made it down the stairs. _Unfortunately it'd cause trouble and a million scandalous rumors if people saw me being dragged rather than holding hands,_ a chastising voice in the back of her mind kindly informed her there already were rumors, and ones she cared naught for. Instead she intertwined her fingers with the rogue's, her smile grew into a grin, "Your room's got you there."

"Heh," Sera gave a playful bop on the shoulder with her free hand as the two descended the stairs, "Honey tongue." _More than one way._ She shuddered when the tall woman lowered and gave a brief kiss to the tip of her ear, _she's_ _that_ _sensitive hm?_ Sylvira noted the slight crimson flush at the tips of the ears as she straightened out, _this works in my favor. I wonder what Sera looks like when she blushes?_ She couldn't imagine it for the life of her, and she didn't know how exactly to go about that but she did know she'd savor it the day it happened. _Romantic cheesy stuff doesn't do it, simple kissing doesn't do it… Something to think about._

"I've wanted to tell you something before you made fun of my morning breath," her eyes danced with her swelling heart and she squeezed Sera's hand as she lilted softly, "Good morning~ Starshine. Even better than sunshine, yes?" A charming smile at the rogue's roll of the eyes, she kept it to herself and made no mention of it when Sera averted her gaze immediately after, _I wonder if she likes stars just as much as I do? I expected her to make a mockery of it all at least once._ She waved to Dorian who sat with Bull at one of the tables, the tevinter mage beckoned for her to come sit with them, "Hold on, we gotta grab breakfast first," _or lunch._ "Fill me in what I missed at the meeting will you?" _Just so I have something to work with before Leliana and Josie ambush me anyways._ Breakfast itself had been the usual, flinging little bits and pieces of food at each other and casual daring flirting that made eavesdroppers' heads turn, _soon the rumor of foursomes will spread, that'll be the day I die of laughter_. Luckily the only thing that happened during the meeting were simple progress updates on plans in motion, and so the usual routine could be pursued without worry of any advisors ambushing the Inquisitor for _terribly important matters, as Josie eloquently puts it. I could learn a thing or two about how she can make bullshit smell like roses._

"So," Dorian wiped his mouth with a napkin and turned to Lavellan, ignoring both Bull and Sera flicking water at him as such was common in order to get a rise out of him, _sometimes I join, but I'll spare him today. It_ _is_ _funny when he sits there steaming._ "Tower or chess?" _Hm…_

A shrug, "I'm not feeling the chess vibe today," _because I brutally lost yesterday,_ Sylvira dismissed the triumphant smirk on the tevinter mage's face, "There was something interesting that I saw in one of my tomes yesterday. I want to run an experiment on it," a belch from Sera earned an amused look though from her and Bull only, everybody else wore expressions of repulsive disgust.

"I hope that imp amuses you plenty," Dorian muttered under his breath, and the archer laughed at his expense as she hooked an arm around his neck. He swiftly squirmed away from her friendly hug and just barely managed to dodge a pancake shoved in his face in the process. "Maker, I can't go anywhere without being ambushed by something-"

"Or someone," Bull smirked coyly and his eye darkened, _ooh I know what that means._ The dalish woman chuckled at Dorian's discomfort as he abruptly rose from the table, leaving and mumbling he'd be at the tower. _Naughty ara halla, you've been hiding juicy scandalous tips from me I see._

"Fuck! So close," the rogue looked sadly at the piece of food now on the floor, Sylvira stopped her from reaching it. _Jeez, the things I save her from._

"It's been way more than five seconds which might I add is a myth, since it's tainted the split second it touches the ground. Do you want bacteria infesting your gut and growing insects? Skitter skitter skitter…" She smirked at Sera's pale face, "That's what I thought, best leave it for the cleaning crew." Her eyebrow rose when the archer glanced back at the pancake, seemingly torn about the decision to leave the food, _huh? What's her deal?_ On a hunch she pushed her plate over, "Here, you can have the rest of mine then." _Not eager about it, so she is worried about wasting food? That's odd, considering the pranks we pull._ "We can feed the one on the floor to the birds outside or something, I'm sure they'll appreciate something sweet." A slight nod and Sera grinned in agreement, _weird, didn't think it mattered but whatever._ "Alright then you two have fun," Lavellan gave a quick peck on the rogue's cheek and missed the reaction as she rose from the table, waving casually over her shoulder as she walked out the tavern with the piece of pancake in hand, "I'll see you later!"

 _First stop Harritt and then meet up with Dorian at the tower._ Out of the tavern, she looked to the sky to see if there had been any birds flying around and reluctantly went up on the battlements, _maybe if I just wave it around they'll snatch it from me or something._ The stairs had been her dreaded enemy for a while, her thighs were  still aching and burning, _I told Sera I'd feed the fucking birds and I'm gonna feed the Creators-Maker-god damned birds._ Her resolve easily faltered the moment she saw a patrol, "Hey, you!" The soldier jumped, startled from the sudden shout and grew increasingly nervous when the Inquisitor herself marched right up to him, a plan in mind _. Why work hard when you can work smart? Well in this case he'll be working hard for me, but that's why it's smart._

Grabbing his wrist and turning his palm upwards, Sylvira slapped the greasy pancake on his gauntlet and assumed a no-nonsense authoritative tone, "If you see any birds, feed them this pancake. This is an order and I will not tolerate _any_ failure or excuses, understand?" The soldier glanced confused at the food in his gauntlet and Lavellan's patience had been waning, she sighed irritably, _how hard is it to get that? It's just giving pancake to damn birds,_ "Do you or do you not understand?" A fervent nod, her mood changed like the wind and she gave a lighthearted smack on the shoulder, "Atta boy, thanks!" Before she descended the battlements she glanced over her shoulder and chuckled quietly at the soldier's intensely concentrated expression as he sheepishly waved the pancake around, _he looks like such an idiot. I'm glad it's him and not me this time,_ "No need to report your success later soldier, I have the utmost faith in you."

"Yes Your Worship, you can count on me!" Spurred on by the Inquisitor's rare encouragement, the soldier waved the pancake with fierce determination, _fuck, I should have at least told Sera to come see this. Ah well. On second thought she'd make me do it and have everybody watch too._ A soft chuckle and one last look until she made way down the stairs, _one lousy compliment and I've earned loyalty in a heartbeat. Just how high is the pedestal these people have shoved me on?_ A shrug, she cut off that thought before it flourished and head towards the keep, _toothbrush and experiment. A tame afternoon for once,_ her lips curled in a small smile, _I should sleep in with Sera again._

* * *

"Have you been running experiments without me?" Dorian crossed his arms and his eyes narrowed, to which the dalish woman waved dismissively with a charming grin on her face, _how does he tell when I clean up?_ "I **knew** it. There's ambient magic residue on the desk," _the fucking desk?! Come on!_ "At least clean up  properly if you're going to sneak around my dear friend," for once, Lavellan wanted to wipe the haughty smirk off his face, _I do clean up proper… I'm a professional after all._ "Next time, I'd like to be here for dangerous experiments that might speed up the apocalypse if you don't mind."

"They weren't dangerous ones, I reserve them especially for you just so I won't die alone." Sylvira strode to the bookshelf and plucked the tome of which she'd bookmarked, smirking when Dorian chuckled, "Alright so, there's this passage I read and I have no idea what the hell it means. I mean I have some clue just because the words seem similar to our tongue," she flipped through the pages then stood beside the tevinter mage, both craning their neck as she followed the lines of the incantation with her finger. "It bears lexical similarity to French but," the two frowned as Dorian nodded in agreement, "It's… Not."

 _Opposto a quello di fronte a voi_

"And you want to find out what it does, without knowing what it even says?" The tevinter mage cast a skeptical look, "Just so we're clear, I am not the guinea pig this time. Last time my mustache felt funny." _How does facial hair even_ _feel_ _when hair is dead?_

A soft chuckle, "No worries, it's an incantation so this time it can be applied to me," Lavellan carefully handed the book over to Dorian, "Judging by the words, it's probably going to make me the opposite of who I am." She walked over and sat in a chair as she made herself comfortable, giving a slight tug to loosen up the wrinkled scarf around her neck, _Sera made a mess of it. Just the way I like it._ Sensing the tevinter mage's hesitation she grinned, "I had a dream about what I'm like when I'm not me either: broody, silent, and," she shuddered, the last word had been hushed as if it was absolutely haunting and inconceivable, " **Polite**."

"Truly?" Dorian's eyebrows rose in surprise, " **You** polite?"

"I know, right? This way I can prove Leliana and Josephine I don't need any etiquette training," she smirked at the glint that flashed in the tevinter mage's eyes, "I just know they're planning something." _And you know about it, but you won't spill if I press, I'm sure._ Dorian glanced at the incantation then back at her, his eyes asking if she was positively certain, "Oh it's just for twenty-four hours, look at the top right of the page it says it all there."

"I just have a bad feeling about this," he admitted, "I mean, why would it have information in our tongue on how long it lasts and instructions to cast it, but no translation of a language _similar_ to another?"

"That's the point of experimenting to find out, that's where all the fun is Dorian," Sylvira grinned cheekily, "What's the worst that can happen? I curtsy everyone?" At that she blanched and the tevinter man chuckled, "Never mind that **would** be the worst..."

"I'd pay to see that," Dorian smirked and the dalish woman knew that for a split second she saw the glimpse of an evil magister in the making. "Fortunately I don't have to pay!" Before she had time to change her mind and bolt out of the chair, the tevinter mage gathered stray magic and concentrated it in the incantation as he boomed confidently, "Opposto a quello di fronte a voi." He repeated the passage thrice as dictated, his amused eyes locked with the blatantly nervous citron orbs and Lavellan gripped the chair's arm rests as she braced herself. _Right, broody, silent and polite. I can do this,_ she sucked in a sharp breath and closed her eyes, feeling tingling in her body and the uncomfortable feeling of being pulled and pushed. She paid keen attention to every sensation for the purposes of writing down an accurate report of their findings and oddly enough she felt… Heavier in _places_. Dread filled her and her eyes snapped open when she heard her  own voice but her jaw remained shut.

"Oh Maker," _oh no. Oh no, no, no._ Sylvira had been staring at her own body sitting in the chair, a horrified look as the woman before her was looking down and inspecting themselves. Swallowing a thick lump she hesitantly glanced down and took note of her body: the tome in an oddly large and tanned hand, the lack of breasts, the addition of a certain _package_ down below. "Maker," _please stop saying that when it's from my mouth._ "We… Switched bodies?!" _An incantation that swaps spirits, in the hands of a fucking necromancer. We may be slightly fucked._

"Calm down Dorian," they cringed at the lower rumble of a voice, and Lavellan-in-Dorian's-body reluctantly took a step forward, "It's only for twenty four hours." _I have facial hair. His mustache feels weird. But hair is dead... This is an interesting discovery, we can learn a lot from this opportunity._

"Do you know how uncomfortable I feel right now? I'm looking at my dashing self and hearing my voice coming from my mouth… But it's not, Maker-"

"Stop saying Maker, that's my only pet peeve right now."

" **That's** your issue, not the fact that we've switched bodies?!"

"Well you've got to admit it's pretty fun right? It's like seeing the world in another perspective," she grinned playfully at her own ridiculous pun, "Through a whole new set of eyes." Dorian-in-Sylvira's-body groaned and face palmed, "In any case..." She shut the tome and stuffed it in the bookshelf, "Twenty four hours, we'll need to establish some rules so that others don't panic about this."

Another groan as Dorian muffled in his-her- _fuck this is kind of confusing now_ -hands, "How can you be calm about this?"

"Because we gain nothing from panicking, but we can learn a lot if we stay calm," Lavellan brought over another chair and sat in front of her own body. "I don't need a mirror anymore," she joked lightheartedly in hopes Dorian would cheer up somewhat, "I look quite the hot mess." A soft chuckle and she reached forward, giving a brief squeeze of his knee, "Your magic feels different, pulling at strands. Just so I don't accidentally possess people and subconsciously push wisps inside them-"

"It doesn't work that way," Dorian chuckled, "You're safe, you won't be resurrecting corpses or possessing people. It's not blood magic." He-she-it- _we need to figure this out soon-_ sat back and had a thoughtful look, _so that's how my face looks like when I'm thinking? No wonder Sera is attracted to me. Naturally, of course she can't resist me._ "Yours feels..." _Oh_ _shit_ _._ "I don't know how to describe it."

"It's Aero-magic after all," Sylvira blurted, desperate for a distraction and not really knowing where she was going. The man-woman- _fuck sake-_ looked at her quizzically and she smirked, "Take out the A and it becomes Ero-magic. Get it?" Dorian tilted his head- _much better_ -and his eyebrows furrowed, _he most definitely doesn't get it because it was completely random with no educational insight whatsoever._ And thus she rambled, albeit hesitantly divulging certain information, "The anchor and the… Brand interfere with each other. I've already nullified the brand's effects and it stays stable for a couple of days so you don't have to worry about that there."

"That explains the sharp tingling," Dorian nodded and then pointed to his eyes, "My eyes sting a little too, though. And my vision is blurry." _Shit._ She chewed on her bottom lip and the tevinter man-or rather dalish woman- _fuck this confusing shit-_ cast a concerned glance, he leaned forward and squeezed her knee. "I'll manage, though I might bump into a few things until I adjust." _That's it? He's not going to press why?_ "I don't quite understand how you deal with these aches and pains all the time though," he relaxed back in the chair and ensured  not to look down, "Apart from the… Side effects, how do you stand this?" _Huh?_ Sylvira's eyebrow rose in confusion, _stand what?_ "Maker, I have to point it out don't I?" Pointing at her breasts, the dalish mage fell into a fit of chuckles, "It's not funny! My back hurts and these are heavy!"

" _Uncomfortable_ , ara halla? Haven't you ever wanted to be a woman?" Lavellan grinned cheekily and the tevinter man groaned again. _This is too much fun, I'm lucky it's Dorian and not Solas or Vivienne._

"Maker," _again with that!_ "There are no words to describe how odd it is to see myself make those types of faces."

"Still look dashing."

An affirmative nod, "Of course, there was no question about it." Dorian sighed reluctantly, "Alright, what about these rules?"

"Rule #1, no touching yourself," Sylvira roared with laughter at the wide-eyed look until the tevinter mage rushed forward with his palm over her mouth, _right, sensitive experiments below. It'd be unfortunate if they blew up… And us along with them._ After she'd calmed down the hand left her lips, "Okay, okay. In any case, we'll have to act like each other so no one suspects a thing."

"What about Bull and the imp?" _Good question… Shit._ Dorian shuffled uncomfortably in his chair then stated firmly, "I don't see any other way to say this but bluntly," _huh?_ "I am **not** having intercourse with that imp." This time Lavellan slapped her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing again, and noted how incredibly bristly the mustache felt against her hand. Out of curiosity she twirled the end of it around her finger and Dorian buried his face in his hands, _it's just as fun to annoy him as it is Sera._

"What? I'm curious, I might as well feel and experience while I can," another twirl and slight tug, she snickered quietly when her lips were pulled in the same direction.

"Can you stop that? I don't even twirl my mustache like-" Sylvira grinned and instead rubbed the ends between her fingers then pulled down like a fumanchu, "That..." The tevinter man sighed then offered a solution in a pleading voice, _I sound odd like that,_ "We could just hide here and sleep."

"Solas and Vivienne come here too, and they have eyes like a hawk. They'll sense something's off with our magical energy as well," the two groaned, "We'll definitely have to avoid them." She looked at the ceiling and hummed in thought then looked at Dorian in surprise, "Hey, you've got a pretty good singing voice. You should sing with me and-" the tevinter man shot a deadpan stare, "Okay, okay I'll take this seriously. Anyways Bull and Sera will nitpick us apart too, and it'd technically be like cheating if we were to have sex with them." Dorian's look was priceless, half appalled and half astonished by her ability to remain professional despite the bold topic. Half hopeful but knowing the answer, she had to try anyways, "Don't suppose you could still convince Josie and Leliana I don't need etiquette training? You'd know with all the parties you had at home I bet, Messere and Serah, the Game and what not right?"

"You're going to use me-this to your advantage?!"

"Of course, why not?" Sylvira grinned, "You'll get a taste of what being the Inquisitor is like, it's **lots** of fun." A skeptical look, _damn, he's not biting the lie, I'm probably making a facial expression. I'll need to look in a mirror and practice-oh._ "We'll need to get our faces straight too. You need to grin and smile more."

"You need to **not** grin and smile. It looks-"

"Charming, right?" Another grin and Dorian sighed, Lavellan chuckled, "I've never seen you like this ara halla, get it? Cause you're in my body," her clever pun earned a glare, "It's just too fun to tease you. Anyways what else… What sort of tips can you give me about Bull?" Her eyebrow rose in interest at the sight of her own face flushing crimson, she leaned forward and smirked evilly, "You're withholding important information my friend, and I **know** you are."

"I thought we established we won't be having intercourse because that's cheating!" _Got you._

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, I **never** said anything about sex did I?" The dalish mage crossed her abnormally larger arms in triumphant victory, _the magic and body feels weird, but it's nice not to deal with the aches and pains all the time now. Though I can't imagine he can say the same, it'll be hell for him especially since probably he doesn't know how to tune it out._ At that she felt slightly guilty, _I guess I should stop teasing and truly take this seriously._ "Anyways," she smiled reassuringly and gave a gentle squeeze to Dorian's left shoulder, immediately retracting her hand at the pained grimace, "Shit, sorry. If it helps just shove it to the back of your mind."

"How can I do that when it's insistent and stubborn to stay at the front of every coherent thought?" A tired groan, "Twenty four hours of this-"

"Twenty three, it's bound to have been an hour by now."

"That still doesn't help. How do you do this all the time?"

Shrugging, she answered honestly, "There's some days I want to say fuck it all and lay down, but I can't. So instead I distract my mind, fantasies work like a charm by the way and-" she smiled, knowing she'd get the warning glare, "I'm truly being honest about that. When there's nothing else to help keep me busy it's imagining something else and work. You could try reading books, perhaps one of Varric's tales?"

 ** _Pain is like any other emotion, it can be shut off when you need it to._**

 _That won't help him, that's more than likely not something he'll be able to do._ "Distraction is key ara halla. You'll have plenty of it the moment we step out of here: reports, meeting insufferable nobles that will test your willpower not to crush their bones, oh there's drinking too. I get a nice buzz after five or so glasses of rum."

" **Five**?" Dorian's eyes widened, "Maker," _ugh,_ "Ah right, it'd be out of character if I went around saying that as well..." _About time he picked up on that too._

"Yup. That'll get Leliana and Sera on you like flies on shit. In any case, if you have to decide on something try to stall for time, or I'll try to be nearby you or something..." She stroked her mustache thoughtfully and had an evil grin in her mind, though kept her face blank as she pretended not to see the glare, "What else? Ah the kids," she looked down and her voice took on a stern no-nonsense tone automatically, "You have to do whatever they want, but not when other people are around to see. Nobody can know the Inquisitor's whipped by kids," she noticed a playful glint flash in the citron orbs, _so you do know. There was Val Royeaux but something tells me he knows more than he ought to._

"Routines as well, Bull is Ben-Hassrath, we'll need to get our schedules down pat as well."

"Ugh, this is starting to give me a headache, so much troublesome shit's involved..." A tired sigh, "I **hate** work."

"You can't say that with my voice," Dorian pointed out cheekily, _ugh._ "Also, if Bull… Ambushes… You," _ambushes?_ Sylvira looked at him with a confused expression, one eyebrow risen and her eyes asking a silent inquiry, "Ma-ugh," _there we go, he caught on and stopped it finally._ "There's no other way to say this but bluntly, the safeword is Katoh." _Uh, safeword for what?_ At that the crimson flush returned to Dorian's face-or rather Sylvira's face- _again with this confusing shit._ He rose abruptly, "Twenty three hours, I'm sure we can manage and figure out the rest on our own," _what's got him so flustered?_

A shrug and Lavellan stood as well, "You're right, shouldn't be too hard. I mean it's just one day and not the end of the world if people think something's amiss anyways, thankfully it's you in my body and not Sera. Can you imagine what she'd do?"

"Pranks, probably run naked on the battlements, crush all the nobles -literally- and bring the world on the brink of ruin in just one day." _Yeah that pretty much sums it up._ Already exhausted from all the talking and the entire ordeal, the two steeled themselves as they prepared to head out into the world, _like we're teenagers running away from the village to make our own life or something. We're bringing way too much drama to this, so long as the public doesn't find out and cause wide-spread panic we're okay._ Slowly, they descended the stairs, their stomachs churning with nervousness and Sylvira felt a very odd pressure down below, near the front of her _package._ She lingered behind Dorian and out of curiosity she pushed apart the layers of the robe then tugged on the waistband of her breeches and underclothes, shamelessly looking and inspecting her new… Anatomy. "Maker, what are you doing?! Have you absolutely **no** shame whatsoever?"

"What? I'm curious and this is merely for educational purposes," Lavellan chuckled at the tevinter mage's jaw drop as she unhooked her thumbs but didn't bother to fix the robes, _that's pretty funny when it's me making that face._ "Don't deny it, you wanna feel my bosom."

"The thought never even crossed my mind!" Dorian threw up his hands in the air in defeat as he marched down the rest of the stairs, "I swear, you're absolutely unbelievable!" _It's interesting to hear myself shout like that too, this brings a whole new meaning to learning about myself._ "How **anyone** can not only remain composed but find ways to take advantage of it all-"

"That's me, the one and only. I'm as professional as they come and the best business woman around," Sylvira grinned cheerfully at the glare before correcting herself, _right, no large shit-eating grins._ Instead she decided to push Dorian's buttons and twirled the end of the mustache around her finger, he huffed but didn't take the bait, _aw…_ Laughter bubbled in her chest, _no longer a tame afternoon. Today is looking pretty fun, and I'll finally get my day of peace and relaxation._ Before they made it to the bottom floor she idly mentioned, "Don't forget we'll have to find ways to meet up every now and then, update each other on what's happened and what not." Dorian nodded in agreement and the pressure at her _package_ intensified, _I'm not turned on am I? I've read once that boys can get turned on for absolutely no reason, but I thought that was just during puberty._ She glanced down again, _I mean isn't it supposed to like… Stick out? Rise and stand up, blood pulsing or whatever?_ For some odd reason, nervousness churned in her stomach and just before Dorian opened the door, a shiver ran down her spine. _Oh this is not good._ "Dorian..." She grasped the left arm by accident and immediately retracted her hand from the pained grimace, "Uh… You're not going to like this." _I'll admit, even I would be slightly uncomfortable. Well I am, but I mean in his shoes. Or mine. Fuck..._

"What's the worst that can happen, right? Nothing can be worse than us swapping bodies, unless it was Sera and you." Though it didn't sound as though he was angry, _which anybody else would be without a doubt,_ there was still irritation laced in the undertone of the accent. _And I know my own voice better than anyone else. Well, Sera knows more than me, probably._ Guilt welled up in her and the pressure intensified, another shiver and Dorian let out a tired sigh as he turned to face her, "What's wrong?" _I'll need to apologize to him, later, right now I need to take care of this dire problem._

"Uh..." Lavellan smiled sheepishly and whispered all hush hush as if exchanging secrets, "I have to pee." _He better pray Aunt Flo doesn't come to visit him today._ The tevinter man cast a quizzical look before his eyes widened in horror, his eyes asking a silent question if she was absolutely **certain** , "Yeah, my belly feels funky and well, down there feels weird..." _Now_ _this_ _is awkward. Isn't this technically cheating on Sera too? I'll be holding Dorian's-okay best not think on it. Maybe I can wear thick gloves or something._ At that the two reluctantly set on a new journey of finding a private spot in which Leliana wouldn't eventually hear about, _and I bet she'd spread the news across Skyhold with a merry grin after we would return to our bodies. Gossipmonger._ Even she had felt uncomfortable now, and she nearly groaned out loud when she had remembered her dream, _right_ _now_ _I know exactly what my doppelganger was trying to warn me about._

 _ **You are you no longer.**_

* * *

 _[Italian] Opposto a quello di fronte a voi:_ Opposite to the one in front of you


	22. Surprises: A Hate and Love Relationship

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 10-20-2015

 **AN:** I got so carried away with Terra I'll be honest, I forgot half of the things I wanted to do with the swap :x And then I got carried away with Sera's surprise instead, so hope it makes up for the swap lol XD Hope you enjoy the extra long chappy and it's surprises nonetheless! Things heat up in more than one way :P For those who have midterms coming up, good luck! We'll make it through this hell together lol.

 **P.S.** The first scene/sequence is in Dorian's perspective (who is trapped inside Sylvira's body). Just for clarity's sake, the two will still be mentioned as Dorian did this and that even if they are in their opposite's body. However! When it is from Sera's perspective she is observing exactly who she sees. So when she's watching 'Dorian', it means she's watching the moustache version, not Dorian trapped in Sylvira's body. In any case I hope it's not **too** confusing to figure out lol, enjoy!

* * *

 **Surprises: A Hate and Love Relationship**

* * *

 _Be Inquisitor for a day, she said. It'll be fun, she said._ Dorian griped constantly within his mind, and he had to keep looking at his hands to remind himself he was in Sylvira's body. He had a hammering headache, his eyes and left arm felt funny with nonstop sore throbbing that was sensitive to the touch. _How in Maker's damnation does she wear clothes?_ He could finally see why she folded the elbow sleeves often, and swore to himself he would never make fun of her terrible fashion sense ever again. If you could even call it fashion sense, _more like things thrown together in a haphazard fashion. She reminds me of the mentors in Tevinter, brilliant mages and scholars though complete airheads, showing up with shoes untied and mismatched clothing despite having servants._

Looking down, he fixed the wrinkles and made sure everything was clean and pristine, smoothing out the long scarf until the back of his thumbs accidentally bumped and brushed along the sides of his too-Maker-damn-heavy-breasts. His hands fell immediately, of course it was normal to anyone who'd seen it -a completely harmless touch- but to him it had been like petting a venomous snake. He sighed inwardly, after the terribly awkward moment the two shared it had been a blessing to hear Lavellan adamantly say she would not go poking in _sensitive_ areas no matter how curious she gets.

Needless to say, the never-to-be-mentioned-ever-again-even-if-we're-tortured situation had been an utter disaster. At first they thought it would be okay -no matter how awkward it'd be- if Dorian held his _tool_ for the dalish mage, until he'd reached **with** Sylvira's hand. Thankfully, there had been a cloth banner the tevinter mage could rip down before things had gotten even more embarrassing, _if she had an 'accident' in my body, she would never let me live it down._ It'd been the absolute worst trying to teach her how to hold his _tool_ , and absolutely mortifying for him when he had to stay nearby to ensure she'd peed properly, _I don't want kids now, possibly never ever at all. They would instead pee on me, the utter horror._ After they had handled things like mature adults and agreed to never bring up the topic up as well as take the secret to their grave, the two were beginning to realize the imminent danger thrust upon them.

 _What if we cannot reverse the process?_ At that he paled, he closed his eyes and his lips pursed, he desperately wished and prayed t'is not be so. _The tome only stated twenty four hours without any theory explaining why or how it works, what if it isn't? What if it's extended, or permanent because of my magic?_ All he could do was pray and hope whatever transient being watched over them was not so cruel. _Or wait..._ "Inquisitor, may I have a moment of your time?" He'd kept on walking right past Solas who'd risen an eyebrow in confusion, it wasn't a totally odd occurrence for the _real_ Inquisitor to do as such if she'd been lost in her thoughts, but it was a genuine mistake on Dorian's part. He wasn't used to the term. _What if I can try-_ "Inquisitor?"

 _Ah, yes!_ Fixing the scarf out of nervous habit to smooth wrinkles out of his usual robes, Dorian turned and tried his best to grin, it was definitely an odd sensation for cheeks and muscles not his own to puff out as much as they did. Especially without his moustache. _I miss it terribly so._ "What is it now Solas?" _Remember no manners, no how may I assist you, keep words common yet logic intellectually sound. And most definitely do not insult this woodman's sorry excuse of an outfit. Right, I think I can do that._

"I was wondering if you knew what Sera has done with my paint, I'm missing the bucket of one I had been mixing to create an olive green." Relieved the hedge mage did not seem to sense anything was wrong or different, a downright miracle in itself since he was technically the most dangerous person to run into, Dorian tried to settle in a relatively relaxed stance as he nonchalantly stuffed his hands in his pockets. The wince had to be schooled and he averted his gaze for a quick moment before Solas saw any hint of pain in his eyes, the itchy sting of the left hand when the bandages collided and moved from the fabric was getting on his nerves. He shook his answer no and had to compose himself not to snicker, _it's not a matter of who took it, if something goes missing everybody knows it's that imp._ "Very well, if you see her please try to get her to return it." A slight bow of the head from the apostate and Dorian nodded, _what would she even do with paint? Never mind I don't think I want to know._ As Solas walked away the tevinter mage couldn't help but wonder, _Sylvira didn't know he was there at the tower, and he was there before me. What happened before?_

Sensing he wasn't going to get any answers especially when he knew the dalish woman would be tight-lipped about anything that may implicate her past -to which it was something Dorian assumed- he continued down the main hall. He had far more pressing things to worry about, and that was not to blow his cover for one whole day. It shouldn't be too terribly hard, and what was the worst that could happen? _If I take another look at the incantation and spell, I think I may manage to re-write it and reverse it… But we'll both need to be there again, I'll have to find her first._ Another fix of his scarf and wrinkled shirt, the only thing he was truly worried about was what Bull would do to Lavellan, for 'stop' and 'no' wasn't exactly in that qunari's vocabulary after some… Things they've been doing together recently.

 _I'm sure she can handle herself, but she won't let me live it down, Maker I can see it now..._ A shake of his head and a sigh as uncomfortable thrumming buzzed along his nerves, his usual patience had been cut down even more so. The massive amount of anti-magic coming from templars all over Skyhold had begun to take a particularly hard toll when he could feel the echoes of the pulses from their training, _I never knew she was this sensitive to the templars. How does she do this on a regular basis?_ "Inquisitor!" _I have a feeling that's something I'll get used to quickly whether I like it or not._ He turned around and mustered another grin, his right hand out of his pocket as he waved to Josephine approaching fast with a frantic expression, _oh no. What if I have to make important decisions?!_

As casually as he could, he kept up his charade for this woman was a hybrid of a venomous snake and hawk, she would spot the slightest changes and sink her fangs in. "Yo, Josie!" _T_ _his is as uncomfortably strange as I knew it would be,_ _that doesn't make it any better_ _._ "How may I help you?" The first skeptical glance and the tevinter mage chastised himself, _slang, Dorian, use slang_ _and no manners_ _! You've been around her long enough to know your best friend inside and out!_ A common slip of the tongue, he breathed easy when the Ambassador dismissed it and handed him her board. He tried to read the blurry details as best as he could and had been grateful of the graceful penmanship, _how does she read_ _any_ _report like this? No wonder her writing is always sloppy like she's always drunk. Perhaps she is._ Instead he interjected as quickly as possible, hoping to get a verbal summary of the report before too much time had passed. "What's this?"

"Bann Lorin is here to see you, I was told he arrived today despite the schedule tomorrow," Josephine's eyebrows furrowed and she bowed her head, _oh no. No, no, **no**. I have to entertain nobles?_ "My humble apologies, I was unaware he-" _I have to interrupt. And get this done and over with as quickly as possible._

"It's fine. When and where am I meeting this Bann Lorin?" _It's better than etiquette training anyhow._

"Right now," _what_ _? Maker…_ "I have informed him to wait at the chess table, shall I send for a messenger to-" instead Dorian waved and smiled reassuringly, signaling that was fine as he moved past her. _I can do this. It's just meeting a noble_ _who no doubt will try to convince me guarding a shipment of cheese is a life-changing matter_ _,_ _it'll be just like home_ _._ Tilting his head left and right and giving a slight shrug of his shoulders to loosen up his muscles, it felt oddly good to still be carefree despite the burdens of such an important position. _A_ _s insufferable as_ _Sylvira_ _may be sometimes -_ _especially when she's causing trouble with that imp-_ _I'm glad she's the way she is._

"Let's just get this shit over with."

* * *

 _A whole day off completely to myself to do nothing and relax._ Lavellan of course used this opportunity to her advantage, she'd gotten curious over things that seemed relatively safe to be curious about and kicked back in a comfortable chair, a tome in hand to study magical theory. There was no blurry vision, no headaches, no annoying itching from templar anti-magic, nobody vying for her attention, nothing but peace and quiet. _I could definitely get used to this. Well not really, I'm already bored out of my fucking mind. And I miss Sera._ She sank into the large chair even further and had already set up a wooden stool in front, resting her feet on it with one ankle crossed over the other. By far her most favorite discovery was twirling the moustache around her finger, the texture and the way her lips pulled in the same direction had been wildly amusing. The only thing that bothered her were the amount of layers comprising her robes, there were so many that she didn't even know where to begin fixing…

So she didn't.

 _Not like it's the end of the world if someone catches Dorian looking like he just got fucked. That's a good thing, if you ask me. This shit's too troublesome to figure out,_ though she had to admit she missed her scarf. Instead of smoothing it, idly and occasionally whapping herself in the cheeks with the dangling ends or spinning it for absolutely no reason other than to occupy her hands, she was stuck with a tiny bit of facial hair. A couple of knocks and her head snapped up to the large intruder who grinned down at her, she had to bite her tongue before she responded in her usual way. _Fuck, how does Dorian say hello to Bull though?_ Fortunately it didn't seem the qunari was interested in such an introduction and thumbed over his shoulder, "Got a surprise you'll like, c'mon."

 _I don't really like surprises, hopefully it'll be fun anyways though._ Nodding wordlessly, she dismissed the way Bull eyed her disheveled state of clothing, _I mean it's not like he can figure it out just from that alone, right? Then again I've seen his Ben-Hassrath abilities at work, fucking scary stuff._ The giant's grin grew wider and it was beginning to set off little warning bells in her head, but didn't think it had been that big of a deal, _Sera and I grin like idiots at each other too after all_. There had been a sort of predatory smirk until the qunari turned around, leading her to one of the designated quarters on the battlements, near the garden. _Bull wouldn't like, surprise me with chopped up shit would he?_

A shudder crawled along her skin and she blanched at the grotesque mental images, _Dorian hates it just as much as me, I'd bet there's a 'no blood anywhere fucking near me' rule. Unless it's necessary or a fucker we really hate._ The qunari opened the door to a dim lit room and gestured with his head for Lavellan to go in, her eyes soaked in the details of her new surroundings. There were some candles scattered here and there, small bookshelves and a couple of tomes scattered about on the floor. The closet had been left half-opened revealing stylish robes and Sylvira's eyebrow rose, _is this where Dorian sleeps? I've never been inside his room before. Always thought he stayed in that little nook in the tower._ "Sit on the chair." _Which one? There's-_ a slight shove to the one in the center of the room, and the elven woman bit on her tongue so as not to retort in her usual manner.

 _I have absolutely no idea what Dorian is like with Bull when they're alone because he never fucking tells me anything juicy._ A nervous side glance at the lumbering qunari then back at the chair as she hesitantly settled down, _and he's Ben-Hassrath, he'll be able to spot any-_ at that her heart leapt to her throat and dread welled up in her, _oh **no**. What if he already fucking knows? What if this is to torture and interrogate me?_ Sweat immediately collected upon her brow, Bull's wolfish grin with the darkened eye and ominous aura suffocating the oxygen in the stuffy room did nothing to appease the rising anxiety. _Calm, cool, composed, you survive Sera on a daily basis._ As the qunari moved behind her, she glanced over her shoulder, "What are you going to do to me Bull?" _Is he getting torture tools ready?_

"Relax, you'll like this. You always do." _I don't like the fucking **sound** of this, so there's no way I'm going to like whatever he's about to do._ Still, she had to play the part and trusted the qunari wouldn't hurt or kill her, _perhaps Dorian has to survive Bull on a daily basis like I do with Sera?_ However, when she felt her hands tied behind her back that trust was rapidly dwindling, friend or not, tying was **never** a good thing and reminded her of haunting memories. Her palms instantly felt clammy and a lump lodged in her throat, the temperature in the room easily skyrocketing at the sounds of heavy boots echoing as they hit the wooden floor.

Next there were shuffles and soft thuds, though when she looked over both sides of her shoulders she couldn't see what the qunari was doing, and she was rapidly becoming uncomfortable with the feel of the ropes digging into her wrists. Even with a different body, it responded to her as if the fear had always been engraved in her muscle memory and her heart squeezed painfully. She tried to ignore it, distract herself, shut it off, but the constant reminder of the scratchy rope biting her skin made it difficult, _think, what would Dorian say?_ Stringing together coherent thought became increasingly harder with each thud and plop, she was beginning to feel lightheaded as she struggled for composure.

"Bull," she hoped Dorian had a pleading tone, or that she wasn't too out of character. At the moment she couldn't exactly care less if the qunari had found out, and she immediately chastised herself for her lack of rationale, easily obliterated over something _as fucking stupid as rope. It's just rope, he won't hurt me or do anything or-oh holy fuck…_ Her eyes widened when the qunari finally walked around in front of her.

 **Naked**.

Squeezing her eyes shut, she frantically let out a hail of curses inside her mind, _fuck I'm so fucking sorry Sera, I swear I didn't mean to do this on purpose!_ Gruff laughter rumbled through her and now overwhelming guilt welled up in her, _I need to get out of here before this gets even worse, Sera will never fucking believe me if I say 'Bull made me cheat on you' yeah-hah right._ A slight tug of the ropes, she desperately tried to pull at the wisps of stray magic in hopes she could somehow naturally do something that would help her out. A large hand wrapped around her throat and her eyes snapped open, her entire body repulsed and she seethed venomously out of reflex, "Get your hands off of me **now**." Her temper lashed out and her blood boiled with anger when Bull simply smirked as if the words were natural, _what the fuck! This is the kinda shit they do?!_ She knew she was screwed -well not literally, not _yet_ \- and composure was but a distant dream as she tried to think of ways to get out of this situation. For the life of her she couldn't figure out magic that was totally alien to her, and meddling with the unknown borne out of desperation always yielded terrible results.

"Release me," she croaked, the hand around her throat didn't hurt but neither did it make it easier to talk, nor the fact that the qunari's _god damn fucking stark naked. Is this their version of lap dances or what the fuck? Dorian's got some explaining to do,_ again the knowing smirk and she clenched her teeth, _this is seriously the shit they fucking do and say?!_ A small part of her was curious as to how this worked or why do it at all, but she figured she'd force or blackmail Dorian into divulging information, _I mean who knows, it could actually be fun and something Sera and I could try._ But at the moment there were far pressing issues rather than wondering about fantasies and sex, especially when Bull was leaning dangerously close to her face. _If he fucking kisses, that's it, I'm a cheater. I don't wanna become the prick Sera used to think I was,_ she tried again, "Bull, I'm not joking. Release me right now."

 _ **There's no other way to say this but bluntly, the safeword is Katoh.**_

 _Is that what he meant, for this?_ Just before the qunari's lips touched hers she blurted out as she squeezed her eyes shut, "Katoh! Fuck Bull, I'm serious, Katoh dammit. Unhand me, untie me, let me the fuck out of here right **now**!" Damn the charade, she couldn't care less what the qunari thought of her and she wanted out of there right at this moment. Relief filled her when she felt the binds loosen, and without another word or explanation she shot up from the chair and stormed out of the room, slamming the door angrily and leaving Bull behind without any sort of explanation. _Why didn't Dorian tell me about this shit when he knew that's what this was going to happen, fuck!_ As she gripped the railing of the battlements and stared down at the garden, she spotted the tevinter mage -an utterly bored look on his face- with some sort of man in fancy clothing at the chess table.

 _Meeting a noble huh? Fuck I'd even take **that** or 'etiquette training' over this shit,_ she grimaced when Dorian looked up, the citron orbs widened with shock, it seemed he'd already figured out what happened or was  going to happen. _Fuck is it ever weird to see myself blush like that,_ the tevinter mage abruptly rose from the chess table and began heading towards the hall, _good idea, we need to fucking talk about this that's for damn sure._ As soon as she heard the door behind her creak she hastily strode down the battlements and inside the keep, speed walking down the stairs until she nearly crashed into Dorian-or rather herself. _Oh fuck no, not this shit. We've already figured this crap out earlier._

Grabbing his elbow, she roughly dragged him along uncaring of confused onlookers and gasps of the rude treatment of the Inquisitor, _fuck this is gonna cause a lot of gossip and scandalous rumors, not that I care. But it's annoying when Josephine 'politely' bitches at me,_ she evilly laughed within her mind, _good thing it's Dorian that has to deal with this shit this time._ Looking over her shoulder at the blatantly nervous mage, she bit out vehemently, "We **need** to talk, and this time you're going to tell me just what kind of weird shit you and Bull are into so I'm never put in that situation again." A gulp and hesitant nod, she couldn't care less just how incredibly awkward this was for Dorian, _he's lucky it's me and not somebody else._ And so they head off for the tavern, Sylvira needed a drink and the loud cheering patrons would serve as a noisy distraction to block their conversation from potential eavesdroppers, she dearly hoped Bull wouldn't follow and confront them.

 _Not until Dorian tells me what the fuck I'm supposed to say._ _Fuck…_ She spun on her heel and crossed her arms before they entered the tavern, glaring at Dorian who wore a guilty and nervous expression. "There's no way around it, we need to stick together for the day and just make up bullshit excuses for anyone who tries to pry us apart, that goes for Sera and Bull too. Lemme have a drink first and we can go hide out in the tower or something." She'd been relieved when the tevinter mage nodded fervently in agreement and as she turned around to open the door to the tavern she muttered with as serious a tone she could muster, fighting not to grin at the sharp inhale behind her.

"And next time, I'm going to write 'KATOH' on a fucking parchment then tape it on my ass. Can never be too careful in case if I'm bound and fucking **gagged** too."

* * *

Paint can in the room, Sera giggled madly as she grinned proudly, eying what was about to be turned into the greatest gift of them all. She took a casual stroll down at the lower courtyard in hopes she'd think of a decent idea to do something for Sylvira in return for the woman's efforts of doing all sorts of nice things for her, _p_ _lus th_ _e_ _toothbrush is pretty kickass, easier and faster with this rubbish than the chewy shite._ So she had browsed the merchant stalls and found the beginnings of the perfect present: lo and behold there it was, a red apron with yellow polka dots. It wasn't particularly hard to make a decision whatsoever, and her inner mischief was at peak performance the moment she ran her fingers along the fabric as she fished for coin to pay the merchant. She couldn't care less about the skeptical look the merchant gave her, as if wondering why Sera needed it or if she was even a cook, _I'm 'bout to be, with this yeah. This is gonna be bloody_ _ **brilliant**_ _._

All that remained was to paint some of the yellow polka dots green, so that the red would represent her and the dots would be like her _girlfriend's_ citron eyes. _Girlfriend,_ her lips spread in a massive shit-eating grin, _fuckin' sap didn't even ask me out, but was all cocky 'bout it. Don't matter that she was right, who's she think she is callin' me her girlfriend without my say huh?_ Of course she didn't -couldn't- deny that had made her ridiculously happy, _now I'm a sap like 'er,_ she still vividly remembers the tingles that rolled through her upon the joking mention of vows. _Shit's getting real serious with us innit? All started coz I figured what she used to be, s'like breaking into a treasure chest. Pissed off with a buncha broken lockpicks 'til ya see all the fuckin' goodies inside._ Everything was finally falling together, their first morning waking up together in her room couldn't have gone any better and she couldn't wait for tonight to sleep on the woman again, _maybe_ _have more than one reason for shut-eye too._

At that her gaze shifted back to the apron, _aw fuck, I'll havta hide this from her if I don't finish it today…_ She couldn't wait though, and she immediately set to work as she swept off the clutter on her table to stretch the apron out length wise on it. _Hope she don't randomly come in here askin' for_ _another_ _'favor' heh._ Grabbing a pillow and kneeling on it, she brought the can of green paint closer then swirled the mixing stick inside. She lifted the brush and watched as the paint dripped, _only_ _ever_ _painted shite for pranks, can't be messy with this._ Wiping the brush along the edge to rid excess paint, she experimentally dabbed just the tiniest bit on one of the yellow dots, observing what it did if the fabric absorbed it or stuck out. Tilting her head to be eye level with the apron, she noticed that the small dot remained and so she spread it around to cover the whole circle, grimacing when there had been little specks of yellow.

 _Oh wait_ _still works_ _coz_ _now_ _it's_ _just like her eyes,_ she dipped the brush back in the can and blew gently to dry the paint, warring with herself as her non-existent patience valiantly struggled with her over-abundant excitement. _Can't wait to see the look on her face, won't wear nothin' but underpants underneath too._ She grinned and giggled, it would undoubtedly take quite a bit of time to paint the rest of the circles but _it's going to be bloody worth it, just to see her fucking face._ A glance at her journal and another idea hit her, she laughed as she took up the brush again and rid the excess paint, repeating the motion of painting a new circle and blowing at it to dry faster.

 _Baking. I'll wear this when we bake cookies._ After finishing another circle she shot up and reached for the baking book and journal, flipping open to the pages and skimming the contents. _Oh shit, the kids…_ She frowned for a moment then looked at the apron, _fuck. Now what? Syl wanted to bake with 'em and I promised the elfy girl we'd do somethin', how long's it been now?_ She mulled and frustration slowly welled up in her, she huffed as she knelt down then took the brush again, _we gotta figure it out ourselves first before we try to teach 'em, won't be any good if we make shite burnt cookies._ An affirmative nod, pleased with the decision, _Syl will get it,_ her lips spread in a wolfish grin as she painted another circle, _and she'll **love** it._ As she painstakingly continued the slow process of painting and drying, her imagination went wild as she thought of how Lavellan would react.

 _She'll probly say somethin', but that ain't what I want. Speechless, I wanna take her breath away,_ she snickered, _literally after too, with a kiss. Mm,_ the pits of her belly stirred and a subtle tingle danced along her nerves, she hadn't noticed her breathing gradually grew ragged as she thought of Sylvira pressed to her back, trapping her against the table with the baking ingredients in front. _Us cookies. Fucking hot._ She was damn sure she'd have no problem liking cookies now, _already do, if this is the shit that's gonna happen when we bake._ She chuckled quietly and muttered under her breath, "No baking in bed," another swirl of the brush, "'Baking' on the table, _fuck_." Her hips shifted on their own accord, she subconsciously chewed on her bottom lip, _look what you done to me Syl? All your fault, frigging loser._

Head snapping back when she heard a crash in the tavern, her curiosity got the better of her and she abandoned her task, carefully stretching the apron so the paint wouldn't clump or dribble anywhere. _Never been safe with anything before, fuck._ She braced her hands at the edge of her table and pushed up to stand, opening the door and plopping over to the railing to see what the ruckus was all about. Her eyes widened with shock at the sight of Dorian stumbling over, a glass of rum in hand with Sylvira trying to stabilize the man. _Okay. What?_ Sera blinked a couple times then wiped her eyes, _shouldn't this be the_ _ **other**_ _way 'round?_ The tall woman sported a clearly concerned expression, _the most fucked up thing 'bout all this,_ who -thanks to Sera's enhanced hearing- murmured to Dorian that he shouldn't be drinking, _the second fucked up thing, coz she ought to be sayin' fuck yeah let's party!_ And last but not least, _maybe this is actually the most fucked up thing of it all,_ Lavellan had taken the half-full glass of rum and actually **abandoned** it at the bartender's table.

 _This is a frigging joke, right?_ And so Sera leaned on the railing, resting her chin on her palm as she watched the amusing spectacle of Dorian crashing into stools and tables over apparently half a glass of rum. _Sure is a lightweight huh? Syl and I don't even get a buzz 'til at least five of 'em._ Her ears perked at another hissed whisper and her stomach churned uncomfortably at the tinge of jealousy when Sylvira leaned dangerously close to the tevinter man. _The fuck's she doing?_ If it had been the other way around it would've been relatively okay, _'kay maybe not,_ but she knew Dorian for sure wasn't interested in women, he just flirted back for jokes. It was a different story with Sylvira, despite knowing she was only interested in women, _maybe, anyways._ The whisper itself was odd, and Sera couldn't help but want to know what the dalish mage meant by it, _something 'bout blowing their cover?_ Lavellan hooked her arm through Dorian's -another pang of jealousy- and forcibly dragged the man out of the tavern before he caused an even bigger scene, _b_ _ut Syl likes big scenes_ _and she didn't even touch the rum_ _, the fuck's going on?_

Looking behind her, she shrugged and decided to hide the paint can behind the table then closed the door to her room, _doubt anyone's gonna walk in and steal the apron anyways. I'd find 'em and shove an arrow up their arse too._ Jogging down the steps, she exited the tavern and looked around, catching a glimpse of the two mages heading up the stairs leading to the battlements where Cassandra usually _makes dummies cry. Maybe straw don't like getting whacked all the time,_ _yeah?_ She waited for Sylvira and Dorian to make it to the top before she started to follow, _gotta keep some distance so they don't see me._ At that she stopped and pondered briefly, _wait, why hide? I can just ask Syl what's going on, she'd tell me right?_ She snickered in the distance when Dorian had been incoherently shouting something that may have been a reference to Wicked Grace, _stakes are clothes? Yeah that's definitely Wicked Grace. What the fuck did Syl give him? I like this Moustache better._ As she walked towards the stairs a large hand suddenly slipped around her wrist and tugged her around the corner, she whirled around angrily only to be utterly confused, Bull had one finger over his lips signaling to shush her. "The fuck's up with you Bull? Can'tcha see I'm on an important mission?" _Stalking's real important, yeah._

"I am too," the qunari chuckled, "I take it you noticed there's something up with them too, huh?" _Too?_

"Y'see somethin' weird?"

"See? Something weird happened that's for sure," he gestured towards the stumbling tevinter mage being dragged along the battlements, "Because Vint's not himself. At **all**."

"Same thing with Syl," Sera's eyebrows furrowed, "She didn't drink rum and told Moustache-"

"I know, I saw before I hid when she dragged him right out." The two nodded in understanding, their eyes sharing a secret conversation before they looked to the battlements. "Something's definitely up with 'em, and if they won't even tell us..."

"Then it's bad. Nothing but bad." The archer thought for a moment then looked at Bull, "Which means it's fucked up and we won't like it, wanna go for a drink?"

"Normally I'd say yeah but..." _Oh no. No, no, no, don't be a daft tit._ "I mean, look, he _still_ hasn't fixed his clothes and he'd rather die than have 'em look like that. This whole shit stinks." _Shit always stinks, and this is definitely really stinky shit._ "What if they really are in trouble Sera? We can't just leave 'em like that." _We can, they won't die but we might._ "For fuck's sake Vint didn't even wanna ride the bull, he took off running away instead."

"What?" The rogue's eyes widened, "No way, seriously?" Bull shrugged then nodded, a flash of hurt and concern swirled in the depths of his eye before it disappeared just as swiftly, _ugh shite. The things I frigging do…_ With a sigh Sera caved in, "Alright big guy. Let's go follow 'em and find out what the fuck's going on. If Syl does the same thing to me, there's something **definitely** fucked up for sure." The qunari cast a look, a silent inquiry in his eye as they proceeded to sneak up to the battlements, "Dunno, haven't talked to her since lunch." They ducked behind the low wall and peeked through the slots, watching as Lavellan continued to drag Dorian toward the mage's tower. That instantly set off warning bells for Sera, "Oh **fuck** no." As she turned around to bolt out of there, a heavy hand fell on her shoulder and she let out a hail of incoherent gibberish curses in her mind. "Bull, leggo'f me! Anything magic 'specially in **that** fuckin' place is nothin' but bad! We can't do shit, let's go!"

"Sera," Bull urged, "They could be in danger and it's up to us to save them," _ugh, don't guilt trip me dammit!_ "Think about it! If we swoop in-"

"Swooping's fucking **bad** Bull, everybody fucking knows that." _Everybody but you apparently. Shit I just know I'm gonna be roped into doin' somethin' I don't like..._

"Just listen! If we go in and save them, be their heroes, just think about what they'll do for us!"

 _Well then._

At that Sera stared at the sky and pondered on that for a moment, an evil grin suddenly spreading upon her face as she combined her apron plan with more ideas for Sylvira to pay off her 'debt' for the rogue saving her. _And Syl pays with the best stuff._ Easily swayed Sera nodded eagerly, and the two set off once more towards the tower. Thus far it had been at least fifteen minutes, anything the two mages were doing in the tower may have already started and be in effect when Sera would barge in. _What if they're doing creepy magic shite and we make it worse? The things I fuckin' do to save Syl, I swear..._ "Fuck," she whispered, anxiety was thrumming strong in her veins and she felt wildly uncomfortable, her palms sweaty. "This whole place feels wrong."

"You say that every time," Bull chuckled gruffly, "Come on, I'm here." He teased with a big shit-eating grin, "I'll protect you."

"Just shut up and stand in front of me will ya?" The qunari nodded, he took the lead as the two entered the tower as quietly as possible. _Don't look, don't look anywhere,_ Sera pinched and gripped on Bull's pants, glaring at him when he glanced over his shoulder with an amused look on his face, _pinched his arse by accident. Shut up fucker._ She tried to keep her focus on the scars on the expansive back before her, all the glowing lines and things bubbling in her peripheral vision was starting to do a number on her wavering courage. _S'like them haunted houses, this what Syl does in here every fucking day? Can't she at least brew normal shite like beer or somethin', she could make good shite I bet._

A second later of considering such a preposterous idea, she blanched and shook her head, _never mind, if she cooks dead shite that somehow still comes alive, I ain't drinking nothing she makes._ Hisses from above alerted the two, Bull glanced at Sera as she closed her eyes in an attempt to focus and listen intently, she desperately tried to ignore the rising anxiety and little ringing bells going off in her head. Dorian was still mumbling something incoherent while laughing in between, and Sylvira was cussing under her breath. The archer froze, she had just heard the most damning piece of evidence that proved for a fact there was most definitely something **incredibly** wrong.

 _Maker._

"Bull," she whispered and against her better judgment her eyes snapped open to look up at the qunari, "We gotta get up there right now. They'll hear us and we gotta catch 'em, Syl just said 'Maker'. Like actual swearing to the Maker." His eye widened with surprise then he nodded, the heavy thuds of their boots slamming on the creaky floor resounded in the entire tower as they hastily made it up the stairs, and Sera damn near prayed nothing would explode like the last time she had been here. Panic was starting to settle in and she tried to keep the anxiety at bay as best as she could, _too much scary shit's in here, and I'm starting to feel fuckin' sick to my stomach, fuck so lame._ She heard Lavellan curse louder and suddenly chant something that sounded like a different language, _t_ _he fuck is she doing?!_ A small explosion resounded on the second floor, Sera cringed at the sound of glass shattering and her nose wrinkled at the smell of something like rotten eggs.

 _Shit, why's she makin' stinky bombs? She plannin' to gas Corphy to death?_ As they made it to the last floor the rogue's hand clamped over her mouth and she doubled over, the nausea from the entire fear escalating rapidly had caught up to her and ringing settled in her ears as her vision darkened with purple and black dots. She had to hold on for just a moment longer, long enough to be considered a 'hero' in Sylvira's eyes, and was grateful for the qunari's arm wrapped around her waist to stabilize her. _S'like going into the trenches, no man's land, I better get a fucking medal for diving into this shit head first._ Her vision swam, _everything's fucking swimming,_ she could vaguely hear Sylvira's worried accent filter in through the haze of anxiety enveloping her.

More hands upon her, and it only served to make things worse as her overactive imagination shot off without her, _whole fuckin' place is wrong. Magic hands, frigging gross shite tentacles groping me,_ a familiar authoritative tone was oddly the thing that soothed and both aggravated her at the same time, she could feel something hard and scratchy against her knees before it felt as though she was in the air with nothing grabbing her, _falling, I'm falling? Like the dream…_ It had never gotten this bad before, with as much time as she spent with Sylvira, demons, and _something_ magical always in the midst, she'd slowly -unwillingly- built a tolerance for it all as she got used to it. But this was just too much, in a place where the very air felt wrong to breathe and artifacts that were the damned decorations, and in the back of her mind as she struggled to remain conscious to at least see what the hell was even happening to her, she grimaced at a thought.

 _ **I'm like a walking magical artifact.**_

 _This is Syl. All this is part of her._ A part she had been doing her best to ignore the whole time rather than working to accept, and the guilt gradually welled up in her only to make everything else even worse. The ringing and dizziness intensified despite her best efforts, heavy thuds and creaks made it to her ears and suddenly chilly air was thrust upon her skin, something wiped along her forehead and she groaned miserably when her stomach twisted with nausea. Someone was calling out to her, or so she thought, the fog blanketing her mind as she wretched and fought not to puke was her only focus at the moment. _Hero, right? I tried, Syl can see that, so I'm still a hero right? She definitely fucking owes me for this._ Her eyebrows furrowed, she gritted her teeth in frustration with herself, _fuckin' stupid, all of this._ She squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as she could when she felt her eyes itch and sting, she'd been grateful for whatever it was that had been rubbing along her forehead and neck, it didn't help much but that little bit was better than nothing.

Something soft pressed along her back, it felt like hours passed by before the ringing and nausea gradually settled and one by one her senses slowly returned. Awareness filtered in and soon she felt warm puffs hit the side of her neck, the arms wrapped around her waist, the harsh unforgiving stone under her bum, and the soothing words chanted over and over again as she was rocked back and forth. She looked down, her arms were folded across her chest and she saw familiar hands over hers, along with the bandages that made her skin itch. _Syl?_ Her lungs burned as if she'd been out of breath, a couple of patrols stood and watched the commotion with confused yet concerned faces, though neither dared to come. She couldn't tell if she was trembling because of the cold or because of her panic attack and with a glance over her shoulder, Lavellan's head immediately snapped up from kissing her neck and the citron orbs brimmed with obvious concern.

"Sera, _fuck,_ are you okay? You scared the shit out of me," _**I** scared her?! I was the one that had to-_ "I go from spinning to not spinning, and all I see is you on your knees with your face greener than the fucking anchor," _and yer mouth's making it fuckin' worse!_ "The knees thing would be hot, if you weren't looking like you were about to drown my tower in puke. That would've sucked, all my remaining experiments would have turned really nasty for sure." _Whoa she's so~ good at making me feel better, frigging arsehole._

" _Fuck you,_ " Sera croaked out, weak raspy chuckles escaped her and her head lulled back on the shoulder, "That's what yer worried 'bout, me making your shitty tower shittier?"

"Of course not," Sylvira pressed closer to her back, the two sitting uncomfortably on the stone ground with the tall woman's legs folded to make a small hole for Sera to sit in. It was as if she'd been in a cocoon, the warm embrace the only soothing comfort as the mage's mouth skillfully bombed the rest away. "Why would you do such a stupid thing?" _Oi!_ "You're scared of those things and yet you charge in for no reason anyways, that was the worst panic attack I've seen yet." Sera glanced to the side towards the tower, Bull had been carrying a drunken Dorian in his arms and the qunari also wore a mixture of concern and guilt on his face.

"Not no reason," the archer whispered, she averted her gaze to the ground, "Bull and I knew somethin' was up with you and Moustache, so we busted in to save you..." A sharp inhale, she looked over with worry when she felt Sylvira instantly stiffen as hard as a rock.

"You two knew…?" Lavellan shook her head then sighed, "Never mind, it's not important right now. C'mon, let's get you back to your room. I'll take care of you," that certainly sounded nice, and upon seeing the devilish grin on the mage's face Sera rolled her eyes as she laughed weakly, _perv look. She really is alright then, didn't needa fuckin' bust in at all._ She'd been grateful of the arms that supported her as they stood, and the dalish woman smiled apologetically at Bull, "Uh, I'm sure Dorian will explain what's happened when he… Yeah. Shit, looks like I shouldn't have drank after all," _what? She didn't._

"Uh, Boss? You didn't," the qunari's head tilted in confusion along with Sera's as the dalish mage laughed nervously.

"I did. Sort of. In any case after Dorian comes to, ask him how he even managed to reverse the spell and fix all this." _Oh for shit's sake._ Spell. That was the one thing Sera really didn't want to hear right now and her stomach twisted sharply, her heart wrenched and one hand instinctively clamped over her mouth. "Oh fuck," Sylvira squeezed in the embrace and tightened her hold on the archer, "Sorry, probably not what you want to hear right now huh?"

"Y' **think**?" Sera seethed, muffled in her palm as she focused on breathing deep and slow. Her legs still felt shaky, she was sure if she hadn't been stabilized then she'd fall straight on her ass again.

"So... Does that mean I shouldn't levitate you again?" _**AGAIN?!**_ An angry look over her shoulder, the archer's temper was fickle and she was sure that at any moment now she'd snap if Lavellan didn't take the blatant hints and _shut the fuck up_. "Me~ow~ sexy angry look," _oh my frigging-_ "I take it that's a no then or what? You sure take a while to answer."

"No fucking shit! It's obvious innit?!" Energy slowly came back in small tiny bursts, and Sera utilized every single one of them to fully turn around in the grinning mage's embrace. _She's having fun with this, the arsehole!_ Her quivering confused her completely now, it could have been the panic attack, the chill in the air, or pure unbridled rage as she damn near _prayed_ she could regain her strength to smack the _fucking shit_ out of the smug woman. Her eyes flashed dangerously and her lips parted to cuss and threaten Sylvira, only to be caught off guard when her lips were smothered in the same second. Her eyebrows furrowed when the woman whispered against her mouth, Sera had absolutely no idea what the hell was going on anymore. _Don't think I want to, no point coz somethin' else fucked up will happen tomorrow I bet._

"I'm glad I'm me again, not even half a day and I already sorely missed doing this with you."

* * *

"Uh… The fuck's this?" _Oh shit!_ Another burst of energy, the rogue escaped the embrace and quickly grabbed the apron off the table then hid it behind her as she spun on her heel, laughing nervously. _Way to make it obvious, idiot, now Syl'll definitely ask._ Lavellan had her hands on her hips and head tilted, she tried to see what it was behind Sera until she shrugged, "I won't peek if you don't want me to. Hide it and lay down already, before you puke all over your damn room instead. Then we'll have nowhere to sleep." She thumbed over her shoulder, "I'm going to go grab some water for ya, don't push yourself so you won't pass out alright?"

"Jeez Syl, I ain't a kid, and I ain't sick or dying I just-"

"You had a **really** bad panic attack Sera, and I'm not taking any chances. Sit your ass down before you end up cracking your head open," the archer frowned, _yeah it's nice she cares but…_ The stern look on Sylvira's face told Sera that the woman more than likely wasn't going to budge or take no for an answer, so she shuffled back until her knees hit the ledge and sat down as she shoved the apron down to hide behind the table. "Much better, be back in a few minutes with the water." As soon as Lavellan left, the rogue got to work and carefully ran her hand along the dried painted dots of the apron, it was only three quarters finished but she couldn't wait anymore.

 _But with her fussing over me like the damn runts we won't get to do nothin' tonight,_ her lips pursed and frustration welled up in her again, _stupid Bull, it's all his fault. Syl's clearly fucking fine and I didn't do nothing but make shite worse._ She couldn't help but wonder what the mage meant at the battlements, but her gut told her it was more than likely something she wouldn't like to hear, for now anyways. _Maybe once she sees I'm okay I'll ask her if we can go to the kitchen._ Folding the apron, she slid it underneath the table and moved the paint can over to the shelf quickly, rushing back to sit before Sylvira would waltz back in only to find the archer moving around. _I don't gotta listen to her, but I'll never fuckin' hear the end of it with her bitching 'bout it and then we'll never get to have any fun tonight._ Her gaze snapped to the door when it opened again, revealing a grinning mage with a bucket of water in hand, _the hell's she smiling for?_

"Lay down and pull out the laces of your shirt, love."

 _Seriously._

"But I ain't sick Syl, no sweat to wipe off and shite," _now I know_ _exactly_ _why she's so fussy 'bout this. Frigging loser,_ that didn't stop Sera from smirking mischievously as well, her body humming pleasantly already.

 _Fun now_ _ **and**_ _fun later._

"Don't sweat the details! Or sweat them. Anyways go on down you go, timber~ right?" Carefully stepping forward and kicking the door closed, Lavellan wove through the messy room and kicked over the pillow Sera knelt on before. She set the bucket down and bent at the waist, swiftly stealing the archer's lips for another kiss then murmured, "Let me take care of you." Gently pushed down by the shoulders the rogue nodded and laid down, eager to see -and feel- where she knew it was going. The mage knelt on the pillow and pulled at the kerchief with her teeth, simultaneously tugging until the front laces loosened only to reveal a bra, much to Sylvira's dismay. "So anyways, there's no other way to explain what happened earlier but bluntly," _huh?_ Sera groaned at the light nip of her neck, the finger that teased above the rim of her bra, and the stomach that finally twisted for a good reason. "I swapped bodies with Dorian." Or not. _Wha…_

" _ **WHAT?!**_ " The archer sat up and accidentally slammed foreheads when Lavellan had moved to kiss her, the two groaning in pain before Sera hissed through her teeth, "The fuck, Syl! Why's this weird shite only happen with **you** and **every** fucking day?!" _H_ _er mouth always_ _hasta_ _ruin it when it gets good!_ Her eyes widened with realization and she shuffled back instantly, "Wait, wait, wait, you're Moustache then?!" _I don't get this rubbish, why's she always drop this weird shite outta no where when she knows this kinda crap freaks me out_ _?!_

"No! Shit I'd have killed Dorian if he did this while I was running away from Bull," Sylvira's anger ramped up as she ranted and zipped through her words until she spoke breathlessly, and the rogue simply watched with a raised eyebrow. _No idea, don't even wanna have an idea_ _._ "That fucker tied me up as a 'surprise'! Fuck surprises. They're into some weird bondage shit, at first I thought hey maybe it'll be fun for me and Sera?" _No._ "But then I figured you'd be an ass, tie me up and leave," _on second thought,_ _ **yes**_ _._ "And whatever I do you'll just escape and boom, fun's blown up. Then you'll run away too, to tease me and stuff, and I'll be running and dying when I chase you, and-" _r_ _unning away?_ And then it hit Sera… But all she could do was laugh until she wheezed, the sullen look on Sylvira's face as she mumbled that the swap was a traumatic experience had been absolutely priceless, the mental images of Bull hot on the mage's heels was too much. _Don't get this rubbish, don't wanna get it. Weird shite always happens with her,_ _best to ignore it after all._

 _ **For fuck's sake Vint didn't even wanna ride the bull, he took off running away instead.**_

"S-Syl," the archer truly did try to calm down, _for an arse she makes the best puppy faces,_ but only to imprint Lavellan's expression in her memory. She grinned and sat up, already feeling tons better and knowing exactly how to do the same for the mage. "I know just the thing to cheer ya up luv," Sylvira's eyebrow rose in interest, "It's a **surprise** ," and cackled at the sudden nervous look. "Relax, you'll like it and-"

"Bull said the **exact** same fucking thing while he was tying me up." _Seriously? Oh my frigging-this is_ _too_ _much._ "This is why I hate surprises!"

"'Kay well if it makes y'feel better I planned it. A little. Not really, it's just an idea but y'know me, figure it out when it happens yeah?" The skeptical look had her grinning wildly in amusement, chuckles escaped her as the mage tried to determine if Sera was trustworthy or not. _Not really, I mean I am and I'm not._ "C'mon Syl," she reached forward and clasped her hands over Lavellan's, "I promise you really will like it, okay? Close your eyes for a sec so y'don't see what I take." _Apron's the most important thing_ _'bout all o' this._

"Fine," Sylvira sighed and complied, closing her eyes and putting her hand over them just to prove to the rogue she wasn't looking. "Can I at least know what it's roughly about?" _Could just tell her so she can breathe, but kinda fun watchin' her squirm like this._

A shrug, "It's gonna be in the kitchen," _keep 'er guessing, she's probly thinkin' it's a prank._ It was enough to comfort the dalish woman but still on her toes, and Sera quickly grabbed the apron then stepped over the table. She took a quick look outside, _sun's setting, dinner's probly out but I wanna ask the cooks if they_ _can leave some shite out and gimme tips_ _._ She glanced at Lavellan's shoulders then smirked, recalling the woman's efforts to set up a _romantic_ dinner for the both of them. "Come in fifteen minutes by yourself, get all yer inquisiting shite done." She bent at the waist and gave a teasing nip to the tip of Sylvira's ear then whispered, "I want you all to myself tonight luv." _She's got sensitive ears too,_ _knew it_ _!_ "Think you can do that?"

"I'll do you one better," Lavellan turned her head though kept her eyes closed, blindly fumbling as her hand wove in to the back of the archer's hair to pull her in for a brief kiss. "I'll deal with the advisors and come in thirty after I spread word that nobody is even allowed to be on the vault level tonight. The cooks should be gone by then too, sounds good?" _Bloody perfect, don't want nobody but Syl to see it._

"Knew I liked ya for somethin' smartiepants," Sera grinned and gave an exaggerated peck on the woman's cheek, "S'for your eyes only, better make sure people listen or they gonna be getting arrows up their arses."

Sylvira nodded and almost accidentally peeked until she shut her eyes tighter, "Should I dress for the occasion, love?" _Love. Fuck. Still gets me._ Instead Sera chuckled and grinned at the way the mage's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Uh… Is that a yes or a no?"

"Nah," the archer stood and opened the door, lilting playfully as she left, "I'm doin' all the dressing tonight."

* * *

"S-Sera..." Sylvira was at a complete and utter loss for words, the archer grinned madly, proudly, more than satisfied that her gift idea was so damn good that it made even the smoothest talking honey tongues absolutely speechless. _Exactly what I wanted._ "Fuck," the dalish woman sucked in a sharp breath when Sera turned around to show her bare back, "Oh my fucking-" and within seconds Lavellan descended on her as if she were prey. _Speechless_ _and_ _an animal, I'm frigging good._ The rogue's head lulled back and tilted away, giving access to the lips splayed upon her neck as hands wandered, appreciatively soaking everything in. "You have the best fucking ideas ever," the mage growled huskily, " _Fuck_." _S'all she can think 'bout now, me too yeah._

"Y'like it?" She knew the answer, she still had to ask. The lips nibbling on her neck immediately spread in a devilish grin and Sera watched from the corner of her eyes, though all she could see was the golden unkempt hair.

"I fucking **love** it." Mission success, now on to the next operation: tease the shit out of the woman by nonchalantly baking instead of what the both of them so clearly wanted. _Taunt her but not give it, just like what she does to me._ The archer had to restrain herself and bite her tongue to stop the evil grin from showing on her face, though her eyes shone bright with mischief as she gently pried Sylvira's _handsy_ hands away. "What are you doing?" Sera turned, a coy smirk on her face at the seductive sight of the mage damn near drooling for her. The carnal desire swirling in the citron orbs almost made her say fuck it to the plan, _gotta do this though, it'll be bloody perfect._

"It's obvious innit?" The hoarse tone in her voice was a dead giveaway and both women knew it, but the charade still went on as Sera thumbed to the center table with all the ingredients waiting for them. "Baking." The answer was immediate, and the archer couldn't help but laugh.

" **Fuck** no."

"Fuck yes."

"Exactly what we should be doing!" Sylvira hissed and took a step forward, her expression a mixture of the sullen kicked puppy pout and longing, _so fucking hard to say no when she makes that damn face._ "You mean baking in bed right? Please tell me you mean baking in bed or on the table," another step forward, and the rogue merely placed her hands on Lavellan's shoulders to keep her away, the mage's fingers clutched the apron bow in a death-grip. _This is_ _too_ _good._ " **Sera** ," the pleading tone and eyes was putting the mission at risk, Sera had to act soon before she'd be swooped by the far-too-tempting heat of the moment. And this time, swooping would be _good._

"Nope. Baking cookies luv," the archer had a massive shit-eating grin as she gently patted Sylvira's cheeks, "You said we would, remember? But yer always frigging busy doing weird or inquisitorialness shite. I figured we oughta try it out ourselves first so we got it right before we rope the kids in, sounds good innit?" _I just wanted to see yer face to the apron, baking ain't that big o' deal. Wait no,_ it had to be a big deal, otherwise she would definitely say screw it and encourage Lavellan to take her right then and there.

 _Cookies first,_ and the sulky look deepened, the rogue could  hear the heart breaking, _jeez, acts like it's the end of the world if she don't fuck me right now._ A strong pang reminded her of the not-so-subtle ache between her thighs and she subconsciously chewed on the corner of her bottom lip as she stared at the hooded orbs, _fuck why am I teasin' myself for her? That's her job._ She chuckled when Sylvira rested her forehead on the archer's shoulder, a dejected sigh, "Disappointed? And here I went through all this work so we wouldn't be bored while we figured out this rubbish." It was totally full of shit, she just asked the cooks if they wouldn't mind leaving out the stuff when she'd asked them for some baking tips but who was she to pass up such a convenient opportunity?

"Fuck," the mage breathed then straightened out, "Sorry, I appreciate all the effort you went through it's just-" as soon as the citron orbs dipped back down to the apron they flashed and the ache between Sera's thighs was beginning to threaten her resolve. _She's making this harder for me than I'm s'posto do for her, shit._ "You look abso- _fucking_ -lutely beautiful." Those were the words she wanted to hear, and the archer grinned with pride as she rose on her toes, pulling Sylvira down for a tender kiss.

 _Makes my stomach buzz with bees, tingly all over and,_ she groaned when the tall woman nibbled and suckled on her bottom lip, _**fuck**_ _. Turned on,_ and with only underwear beneath, all it would take is Lavellan to slip her hand around the back or lift the apron to feel the damp and blatant arousal. Half of Sera wished for it just so that she had a reasonable excuse and someone to blame should they ditch the baking, something that was dangerously close to happening thanks to the warm lips showering her neck with kisses. A step back as her hands fell to pull the scarf and woman, she felt the table press into her lower back and hands wandered everywhere once again, brushing over her breasts and kneading through the fabric.

"Syl," the archer rasped, "Baking."

"I know," came the sullen whisper, though the hands never ceased to caress and it was driving Sera _bloody frigging insane._ "Just a little longer, I want to feel you."

"Feel me while baking?" A sharp inhale from both of them and they parted to stare at each other, their eyes darkened with lust and lips immediately spread in mischievous grins. _Now_ _this_ _ought to be_ _a_ _fun_ _game, and Syl likes games._

"I already said you've got the best **fucking** ideas, right?" With Sylvira's hands on her hips, the rogue turned and the fire in her belly grew into a wild bonfire the moment the tall woman pressed against her bare back. A shudder of both ice and fire shot through her spine at the heated whisper in her ear, "Literally, soon." _Fuck._ "You bake cookies, I'll bake something else," the wandering hands dipped lower, then slid through the sides of the apron to ghost along her front, _I just fucked myself over now._ "And you have to stay focused on the baking," the hands that cupped her breasts already threatened that and a groan slipped past her lips when Lavellan alternated between rough kneading and gentle caressing.

 _This isn't a fun game anymore, fuck,_ the sharp canines nibbled on the tip of her ear and Sera repressed the moan as best as she could, her skin suddenly felt far more sensitive than it should. "Go on, love, start baking. I want to watch you cook and struggle not to unravel." She was keenly aware of every flick, pinch, or roll of the taut peaks of her breasts, and fought not to hiss or gasp when Sylvira roughly suckled on hyper-sensitive areas of her neck. Her hands trembled slightly just pouring the flour in a medium bowl, her throat raw and dry, her head lulled back against the firm shoulder, _fuck. Why'd I havta go and say somethin' so stupid?_ She bit on her lip and desperately wished for the one hand slowly sliding down her toned abdomen to dip beneath the underwear, and groaned in disappointment when it abruptly slid back up.

"Syl," Sera whispered, her heart beat erratically with hope as the fingers descended again only to stop and pluck at the rim of the underwear. " **Syl** ," she urged again, though the intended stern tone had instead been replaced by a hoarse plea. _Fuck that,_ _she was s'posto beg not me._

"Don't you have to mix the ingredients, cookie?" _Fuck her,_ the amused sing-song lilt and irony of the phrase definitely didn't go unnoticed. The archer was just oh **so** close to sweep everything off and turn around, rip off the bow and apron, then settle on the table for _something else_ to bake… But she'd hold on. She'd fight and struggle for as long as she could, she wasn't going to let this infuriatingly smug woman win that easily. Of course the cooks were nice enough to give written instructions on how much to use and what not, but Sera had planned for the dalish mage be the one reading them while she did the physical work-just to ensure they wouldn't be poisoned later since Lavellan always managed to cook something wildly different despite following the steps. So instead Sera skipped the instructions entirely, moving the bowl of flour to the side and dumping the rest of the prepared things left out for her, "Are you sure that's what you're supposed to be doing?"

"Can't be too hard. Just mix all the shit together," Sera rasped out, her patience was rapidly dwindling with the devil hammering it away. "Shut up or help bake," she spat irritatedly, the playful smirk in her peripheral vision had been a dead giveaway, _bet_ _she's planning to piss me the hell off before she fucks me. Shit's sake._ Silence was her answer, and she sucked in a sharp breath when she felt for the briefest of moments what she'd dearly been wanting, a fleeting touch running along the slit through the damp fabric of her underwear. Tingles coursed through her and she felt as if she was going to explode when that was all she got, she stiffened when Sylvira went back to innocent caresses that completely neglected the places she **needed** touched.

 _Fuck, I thought she was supposed to fuck me while baking, the hell's_ _this_ _?_ Pride demanded she keep her lips sealed, she was  not going to ask or beg no matter what especially since this was supposed to be her game, her way to tease the woman into submission. She reached for the larger bowl with the butter and sugar tossed in, the only thing she could remember the cooks telling her was keeping the wet and dry ingredients in separate bowls before combining them in the end, and that had only been thanks to making a dirty joke about wet and dry. As soon as she leaned forward to grab the whisk her hands instead slammed on the table to brace herself, a loud choked moan tore from her throat when Sylvira suddenly stroked and pinched the sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Fuck," the mage breathed and pressed closer against her back, "I've never heard anything sweeter," _shut up and just fuck, shit._ _Stupid words,_ the archer swallowed the thick lump lodged in her throat and moved to grab the whisk, the overwhelming pleasure now a subtle thrumming along her nerves much to her dismay. "Sing for me love," the fingers pushed the underwear aside and brushed along the coated slit, Sera gritted her teeth and had one hand gripping the table, the other wielding the whisk as if it were a weapon. Her thighs quivered, there was no way she should be  this sensitive this fast, it always took a little bit before she could feel the strong and pleasant tingles. Then again, glancing over her shoulder at the woman who seemed to be struggling herself made it all the more better, _fucking hot, all of this. Bet she's real turned on, maybe I'll get lucky and she'll be okay if I touch her back after._

Probably unlikely but she'd try anyways just to see what would happen, she hadn't yet after Lavellan confessed being uncomfortable at the prospect of her being touched. _She trusts me, right? She can see and tell it feels really frigging good too._ Grateful when one hand slid out of the apron and wrapped around her midriff to support her, Sera moved the larger bowl closer to her and began mixing the butter and sugar. Her breathing gradually grew ragged and shallow as the fingers pinched the nub or stroked in tantalizingly slow circles, until she realized that the _frigging arse who thinks she's so clever now_ had been rubbing to the speed that she was mixing. When she cracked the eggs, the fingers abruptly thrust inside her only to resume the torturous stroking when she'd gone back to beating the ingredients together. Shivers rippled along her skin when canines nibbled on the tip of her ear, her knees warned they'd buckle and collapse on her soon.

"Bowl of flour further out, can ya get it?" Sera had sounded absolutely breathless as if she'd been running for hours, her competitive spirit lashed out when the dalish mage chuckled hoarsely. Of course, she could lean to the side and reach for it, but she was sure the predator would strike and all her hard work would be laid to waste with either flour flying everywhere by accident… Or on purpose, if she snapped and swept everything off the table. Thankfully the ego had yet to surface and Lavellan complied wordlessly, the bowl moved closer and the archer wasted no time grabbing and dumping a little inside with the bowl of wet paste, _hehe, wet._ On she went with the mixing, desperately trying to ignore the teasing ministrations below and sucking in sharp breaths to repress her moans. She would _fucking win_ this dammit, there was _no_ way she was going to lose.

"I don't like being ignored Sera, you know that," came the warning, Sylvira thrust inside the drenched core and roughly suckled in a patch of creamy skin in between her teeth. _Fuck…!_ The rogue clenched her jaw, her teeth grind loudly and she hissed as she exhaled, her head lulled back on Lavellan's shoulder again. She inched her legs just the slightest bit out, warm velvet walls clamped down on the intrusive digits alternating the pace or stroking constantly, something new to keep her on edge the entire time. "Much better," the breath tickled her ear, and gooseflesh rose when the mage's tongue trailed along the tip. _Losing,_ her competitive spirit warned, _bake._ _Fuck I_ _ **really**_ _hate cookies now._ She reached up over the same shoulder and blindly hooked her hand around Sylvira's nape, only one hand remained focused and the bowl wouldn't stay still when she tried to mix. She'd been forever grateful when the dalish woman helped sip the dry ingredients in then hold the bowl, though now with the arm that supported her gone she had no choice but to tug and pull on Lavellan's neck to keep her upright.

Not that she really cared, so long as she stood she couldn't find it in her to be sympathetic to the little pained grunts when her nails dug in to her torturer's nape, it had been damn near difficult enough to stay focused on the baking with her hips lightly rocking to the rhythm of the ministrations. "You have no idea how much I fucking want you right now," Sylvira murmured, she latched on the tip of the archer's ear who groaned in kind, _that's coming from_ _you_ _?_ "Can't the baking wait at least five minutes? I want to make you scream my name." The sincere pleading tone made her consider it for a moment until Sera happened to glance up and look at the hooded citron orbs peering down at her, she grinned knowingly, _uh huh. I'm on to you._

"Nice try," the rogue's grin grew as Lavellan chuckled huskily, "That's code for 'this is a fucking trap'. I ain't gonna lose that easily, luv." A breathless content sigh slipped past her lips when the fingers gently inched their way back inside her, dipping in and out to tease and _drive me fucking crazy. On purpose. Frigging cheap tricks._ As the thrumming grew stronger, Sera forced her attention back to the baking in an attempt to ignore the tingles and pangs, cussing under her breath when the mage drew a reaction from her body whether she wanted it or not. The smug grin was getting on her nerves, _she thinks she's gonna fucking win. She's not._ And so as the last of the wet and dry ingredients combined together with chocolate chips sprinkled in, she stirred until the dough seemed alright to work with and summoned random images in her mind.

"You're ignoring me again," _yer damn fucking right I am. Oh wait guess I'm kinda not either, yeah?_ She remained mute nonetheless, her teeth worrying her sore bottom lip to distract herself from the spikes of pleasure that coursed through her head to toe. As she reached for the pan, roller and round cup to cut the dough in circles, her head threw back and she hissed as the slender fingers that aggressively thrust inside again. Her breaths rapid and shallow, she squeezed her eyes shut, the corner of her bottom lip pricked by her sharp canine when she repressed the moans bubbling in her chest. Not succumbing to the tempting promise of an orgasm that would undoubtedly make her see stars was slowly proving to be impossible, but she was nearly there.

 _What the fuck am I s'posto do when the cookies are in the oven?_ _Shit…_ By then, she had hoped the two would be allowed to go wild because there was **no** way she'd be able to stave off the climax with a woman touching and teasing for ten minutes. The fingers rubbed along the rough sweet spot buried in between the velvet walls and she gasped as the roller nearly slipped from her grasp, her breathing labored as if she'd run a marathon. _Fuck, so close, almost done. Both 'cookies'._ Her hands quivered as she took the dough out, rolling back and forth and eyes glued to the movement of either the muscles in her forearm or the dough as it flattened out. At this point she barely cared, she was beginning to rush and grabbed the cup, pushing it into the dough and twisting left and right to cut circular shapes. "Sera~" _for shit's sake_ _, shut up. Just shut the fuck up, Syl._ A shudder rolled through her, and she bit her sore lip again to stop the moan that nearly escaped her. "Cum for me."

"No," _fuck, could really use a drink right now, throat's scratchy._ "I'll cum when I wanna."

"Pretty please?"

"Said **n** **o** ," it'd been a damn miracle that she could still sound relatively stern, "Now shut up or these cookies are gonna be shit."

"I don't give a fuck about the cookies, I care about the cookie I'm fucking now," _'kay I just had a really fucked up picture in my head from that._ _Ew._ Sylvira teased the tips of Sera's ears, knowing the weakness was what could be the tiny little thing that pushed the rogue over the edge. _Fucking bullshit, this. I ain't gonna lose!_ "Cum for me," her lips spread in a cocky grin as she spoke authoritatively, "That's an order, Red Jenny."

 _Oh~ she's_ _ **really**_ _fucking pushing it now._

"Fuck you and yer orders," it never ceased to irritate her just how easily the mage could piss her off and push all the right buttons. _More annoying that she gets off on this, frigging loser._ "Who the fuck d'ya think you are?" She rolled her eyes ahead of time, she could _feel_ the woman's ego going through the roof. Angrily slapping the cut dough on to the pan, she steeled her nerves so as not to cave in and snap, _coz that's what she wants._

"...The Inquisitor?"

"Shut up, loser. Gotta put the cookies in the oven, lemme move." _Uh huh._ Of course Lavellan didn't agree and didn't listen, _coz why would she? Never easy with her._ " **Syl** ," she'd been rather proud she was able to dumb down the sharp sensations from down below, the aggravating conversation combined with random mental images to distract herself had been working perfectly. The game was over as soon as the cookies were in the oven -according to Sera anyways since she was the one making the rules whether the mage liked it or not- and it was the final stretch. All she had to do was lift the pan, somehow escape the little spot where she'd been trapped in between table and flesh, and stick the pan in the oven. And light the furnace beneath it, feeding logs and starting a fire. And- _fuck first thing's first, gotta move. Longer I stand here waiting and lettin' her do whatever she wants,_ a pang, tingles humming a pleasant and tempting song, and _shut up or I'm gonna lose!_

"On one condition." _Already know where this is going._

"No."

"You didn't even hear me out yet," Lavellan growled, she roughly sucked and nibbled on a patch of skin along the tender shoulder, _fuck sake…!_ "You **will** listen or I'll punish you." Before the archer could retort she'd been forcefully turned around, though half-willing despite the competitive spirit chastising her for caving in to desire and demand so easily. _Not easily, none of this was fuckin' easy,_ the citron orbs swirled with nothing but longing, the seductive sight of the woman towering over her with coated fingers hovering in front of her lips sent a sharp pang to the unbearable ache below. "Lick," Sylvira pushed the fingers in the rogue's mouth and Sera's eyes widened at the mage's new found dominance, though both stubborn women refused to back down. Instead Sera nipped the intrusive fingers but not hard enough to cause any actual harm, grinning mischievously while watching through half-lidded eyes what defiance did to the mage. She leaned back and licked her own lips before nonchalantly turning around with a shrug.

"Punish me? Always been all talk no show Syl," the archer goaded, interesting things always happened when either one of them called the other's bluff. "Y'don't scare me." Lifting the pan, she stepped to the side then spun on her heel, walking towards the oven had been a whole lot harder than she thought without imagining -and desperately wishing- Sylvira taking her right then and there already. She wasn't going to cave in and bend, submit and lose, but she didn't particularly mind being forced as such if the mage would push her past the limits and make her body surrender. Unfortunately, no such thing happened and she glanced over her shoulder, eyebrow risen in confusion when Lavellan simply crossed her arms and just… Watched.

 _That's it? She's not gonna do or say anything?_ There didn't look to be any signs of anger or annoyance -the very opposite still in fact- but the tall woman shrugged and walked over, only to retrieve some logs and stack them inside the furnace. _The fuck, maybe I did piss her off but she shut off?_ Sera's eyebrows furrowed and concern welled up in her, the moment her lips parted to ask what was wrong and if she really did upset the mage, she promptly shut up. _Oh._ There had been a flicker of a mischievous smile, and the archer realized what the _game_ was about now. Endurance, to see who could last the longest and _not_ do anything instead. _So this is how she's gonna 'punish' me huh? Not fuck me?_ Sera's eyes narrowed and she grinned triumphantly, knowing she'd already win this one with an ace up her sleeve-or rather lack thereof.

 _ **Challenge accepted.**_

After starting the fire and inserting the pan inside the oven, the archer stood and stretched her arms above her head as she turned away from Lavellan, bending sideways to give the mage an eyeful of her toned back as it flexed and moved seamlessly. If she didn't have as good of hearing as she did, she'd have entirely missed the slight inhale, and pride welled up in her knowing she still had an effect on the woman who strove for calm composure. _Only I can do this to her, only I can tease her and get away with it._ This was a game she was practically the master of and she knew exactly how to win, _Syl will be the one being punished instead, but she's still doin' the punishing._ Her lips spread in a mischievous grin as she casually strode to the center table and leaned down on her elbows, she reached back and slowly tugged away the apron bow. A sharp inhale, though the lack of hands told her the stubborn woman would do everything in her power not to give in either.

 _S_ _he's punishing herself now,_ Sera slid her underwear down to her thighs and tilted her hips outwards, she struggled not to laugh when Sylvira hissed cusses under her breath. As her fingers slid down to stroke the coated slit she glanced over her shoulder, tingles coursed through her upon seeing the mage's clouded eyes glued on her center, and her ego threatened to go through the roof. She licked her lips and grinned wolfishly when Lavellan looked up at her, "Choose, Syl." Each choice had a string attached, and the dalish woman knew this all too well. "Finishing whatcha started, or watching me do it instead." _Tricking the 'master trickster', jackpot. I win no matter what now, her pride's gonna get in the way._

"Aye, heh..." Sylvira strode forward and leaned over, using her height to her advantage as she braced her hands on the edge of the table and gave the archer a heated kiss from the side. "Checkmate, love. You got me, well played." The slender fingers pushed hers away then gently eased inside, Sera rocked her hips to the slow rhythm of the mage's thrusts as the pleasurable pressure gradually rose once again. _Fuck, maybe I shoulda finished myself instead coz Syl's probly gonna take her frigging sweet time now._ She shuddered and the velvet walls clamped down on the intrusive digits when Lavellan nibbled on her ear, but the tender whisper after made sparks and warmth course from head to toe.

"You've stolen every part of my heart, Sera." _Frigging honey tongue sap,_ "You're the world's best thief," _and freaking loser, sayin' weird rubbish as usual._ A kiss to the back of her neck threatened her control, her heart leapt to her throat though she wasn't sure if she just imagined the next whisper and she couldn't stop to ask when Sylvira abruptly changed the pace. Deeper, rougher, the palm grind against her and the sloppy smacking sounds was like music to her ears, her arms quivered as she held on to the table and her moans resounded in the small space of the kitchen. There were no sarcastic comments, no teases or jokes, for once Sera had finally gotten what she wanted and she gritted her teeth as the pleasure became sharper, blinding more frequently.

 _Close... So fucking close,_ ragged breathing, throat parched, the lips blazing down her bare spine made her skin crawl with electricity, the apron clung on for it's dear life around her neck until it'd been sandwiched against her and the table. She was pushed back into standing, Lavellan pressed along her back and the fingers were suddenly pulled out, _fuck! C'mon!_ It hadn't been the dreaded teasing though, the hands on her hips guided her to turn around and face the mage. A finger under her chin tilted her head up and her lips were smothered by Sylvira's, her lower back jammed against the table and her legs instinctively spread as far as the underwear around her thighs allowed her when the hand responsible for her bliss came back.

Through the thick haze and half-lidded eyes, she noticed the tips of the woman's ears had actually been flushed crimson, and her eyes instantly widened with realization now knowing she hadn't hallucinated the words earlier. A guttural growl spilled from her freely, one finger buried deep within her rubbed the right spot and the tongue that delved in her mouth was all that had been needed to force her to come undone. Her head threw back and she screamed Sylvira's name as wave after overpowering wave crashed down on her, white blinded her and her hips instinctively rocked to the rhythm of the waves. She'd been grateful of the bandaged hand that clutched her waist and gave her the support she needed, her legs trembled and her knees sapped of strength, her fingers clung to the edge of the table in a painful death-grip.

 _Fuck, all of that was bloody hot._ Her tongue felt as thick as cotton, she chuckled breathlessly and her head lulled to the side to grant access to the surprisingly timid woman tending to the fresh bruises on her neck and shoulder. The hickeys were always worn with pride and she would grin when she noticed the looks of disgust others gave her upon seeing them, _they're just jealous they don't got someone to love 'em._ At that thought her lips curled in a lazy lopsided smile, she gave a few jerks of Lavellan's scarf to signal she wanted to kiss. As their lips met her eyes danced with affection upon seeing the nervousness swirl in the citron orbs, she whispered back with the same tenderness Sylvira had earlier and reveled in the mage's look of surprise. _I bet she loves 'em now._

" _I love you **too** , luv._"


	23. She Who is Afraid Who She May Become

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 10-23-2015. This is more for myself that I'll be adding in my chapters from now on, to keep record because my personal goal is to trek out at least two chapters of some sort of story each week. Plus it helps keep track of which chapter ends up getting the most in a row updates so I can see and think to myself "Okay. I should probably give Ena and Fen love sometime soon cause it's almost been a month :x"

 **AN:** The review reactions are priceless to me this time, especially the "OH. SHIT." And even the 'bluntness', I wasn't kidding when I said Sera and Syl will be the most _creative_ of all Lavellans :P Mission success, I made a mini fist pump during class and whispered 'hell yeah I actually made it happen!' Making people feel _something_ , anything, when they read and avoiding the utter bored 'wow nothing was accomplished this chapter' is one of the things I try to stick to when I write. Syl has once again captured my whims and for once (I usually dread writing this event) I'm looking _forward_ to writing about Halamshiral. Intrigue (apart from being a perv) is something that I think suits Syl's 'area of expertise' among the Lavellans, it'll be interesting balancing her playing The Game and 'politely' informing nobles that they're idiots lol.

As to clarify where they are in the plot: they're getting closer to the Halamshiral ball. When Leliana arrived with the invitations (to which the event is planned for Matrinalis the 18th though I'm not sure if the game gives a specific date) in chapter 18 she stated "Today is the 8th. Besides the one day set aside for the carriage trip, we have exactly ten days to prepare." Thus far if we follow how many times it's been mentioned Sera/Syl have [fully] slept since then, it's the night of the 10th at the beginning and we're in the 11th by the end of this chapter. The 17th is for the carriage trip, so they have from 11-16 to prepare.

 **The Masked Empire:** I've never read the book but I've tried to read/remember as much as I could on what was divulged online about it. However, there were a lot of mixed comments and things like how Celene was going to place Briala under house arrest (which isn't so scary to a Spymaster if you ask me) versus how Celene was going to lock Briala up in a prison tower. But on both accounts, Celene seemed to think that she could still continue whatever relationship she had with Briala and thought it was completely normal. There are also other comments how their relationship was abusive and appalling, but I couldn't find details of how on the wikia. Now I'm no expert on relationships, but there was a lot of people angry with bringing Briala and Celene back to reconcile. I mean yes, it's sad if they were to return to an abusive relationship -emotionally or physically- and it's even more sad that people often return to their abusers… But something strikes me as Briala being a woman who can do more than handle herself based on what I've so far read, and I don't necessarily think that the reconcile along with noble status for 'even ground' suddenly means that the abusive relationship is off to a start once again. Anyways, that's an opinionated and perspective-dependent war I won't be entertaining [too much] in this story, but I am going to be referencing certain things about Celene and Briala's relationship that comes from TME. These are going to be kept 'general' since I haven't been able to read the story, so here are the facts I'll be working off of throughout the course of the Halamshiral Arc:

 **TME Facts:** -Celene (at age 16 I believe) agreed to Lady Mantillon's plan to kill everyone off in the house to hide her part in the assassination of Emperor Florian, so that Celene could play the sympathy card and wouldn't be suspected of foul play when she had rose to be Empress. This also included **killing Briala's parents** , which Celene knew and agreed for all servants to be killed, and kept it a secret from Briala herself despite being her lover for I think roughly 20 years. (from probably some time before 9:20 to 9:40ish) To me this is the most damning part of their relationship (imagine your husband/wife killed your parents and lied/slept with you for 20 years? Well, that depends if you like or hate your parents too I guess :x)

-Celene -to quell rumors that she was too lenient with elves- sent Briala to assassinate a noble while she had wiped out the elven rebellion of about 3000 [alienage/city] elves as part of a 'political' move in The Game (and to get the Divine's support about the issue with templars/mages after the elven dispute would be resolved). Briala was later arrested to be 'kept safe' but also escaped.

-Long story short, during Celene's escape from Gaspard's troops and having met up with Briala again, Briala also has a chance and betrays Celene back during a duel in which Ser Michel fights Gaspard over the kingdom. Michel was hexed until Briala killed the mage responsible, and Michel was almost able to kill Gaspard (which would have promptly ended the civil war) but Briala told Michel to yield. He had done so because he owed her a favor on account of keeping his elf-blood a secret and that was a big deal for a chevalier since they would have be a noble to enter the academy (Michel had forged papers) and he shouldn't be 'allowed' to be Celene's champion. Either way, his yield meant his oath was broken, the civil war then continued when Briala sent everyone back to their homes through the eluvians (this is also why Imshael was freed, it's a really long story now irrelevant to mine lol), but not before Celene professed her love again.

-Personally I'm conflicted by the accounts of the 'abuse' but then again I haven't read the book so I can't make a fair judgment. I think it's just another sad story from a product of 'The Game' and that it's damn near expected especially with couples like this in the time they're living in, but the fact that they had lingering feelings despite all the betrayals well… You'll see the importance of Celene and Briala's relationship in the Halamshiral Arc because I'll be making a few references to their story, I just figured some background lore/information might be helpful :)

 **Enchantment:** When you see 'Nullifcation Enchantment' I don't mean it in the sense that it's the kind applied to weapons/armor that mages _cannot_ do because it involves weaving lyrium in. I mean this in it's normal definition of 'the state of being under a spell/magic' just to clarify that as well. Enough rambling, **on to the story!**

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Fisara:_ Hungry for the poetry of the journey

* * *

 **She Who is Afraid Who She May Become**

* * *

 _Apparently_ _I'm not the only one who's terrible_ _at_ _cooking,_ _I feel better knowing I'm not alone_ _._ "These cookies are shit, Sera." _Fuck, her pissed off and looking like that… I was right when I said I've been blessed with luck._

"Shut the fuck up, that's **your** fault!" _Everything I've ever wanted really is right in front of me._

"I know," Sylvira turned with a devilish grin, her inflated ego had already gone through the roof at the proof that despite Sera's best efforts, her _irresistible_ hands couldn't be ignored _. And this works in my favor as well now,_ "What I'm proposing is that we practice some more. It'll be no good if the kids make shitty cookies like this after all." For a moment she thought she had won until Sera's eyes narrowed and crossed her arms, _aw fuck not that look._ "Come on!"

"No."

"Why not? It's the perfect plan, we bake, get better, and-"

"This apron's a one time thing only Syl." _It's starting to get a little scary to see how well she knows me._

"What?! Why?!" _One of these days I should ask how she figured something was wrong during the swap._

"Coz it was a gift you frigging loser," the archer hissed and ripped a half-burnt cookie off the pan, munching on it with a _fucking adorable_ angry look. _But if I say that I'll never get to do this with her again._ "And weren't you listening?" _It's a little hard when you look like you just got fucked -because you did thanks to me- while wearing that tiny little thing._ "Said it's your fault," Sera threw the half eaten cookie and smirked when it slapped the mage in the face, _why's she so mean?_ "If we 'practiced' by ourselves then they'd never get better coz of yer _handsy_ hands, and we'd never teach the runts."

" **Sera** has an issue with handsy hands? You certainly didn't have an issue five minutes ago." _Ah hah!_ Lavellan had her hands on her hips and a smug grin plastered on her face, the rogue's mouth parted then sealed several times before Sera threw another cookie in defiance. _Enough of this,_ the tall woman strode forward and reveled when Sera leaned back and away from her kiss, "So it's this game now is it?"

"Nope. Y'don't seem to get the part where I ain't in the mood to play anymore."

"I'll fix that."

"No you won't," the archer crossed her arms again and Sylvira's patience was wearing out, the way the apron conformed to Sera's curves with the bow now haphazardly tied again was doing a number on her sanity. It didn't help that the crossed arms brought her breasts up a little, _looks tighter now at the chest, waiting to_ _be freed_ _,_ the mage grinned wolfishly, _waiting for me._ " **Syl**." The dalish woman looked up and the two stared at each other with clear-cut annoyance, _I don't get it, what's her problem_ _now_ _?_ "I'm all for a good fuck, but it's not all I'm here for." _What?_

"I never said nor implied that," Lavellan stepped forward and ignored the way the rogue stepped back, her eyebrow rose, "Is it so wrong of me that I enjoy you like this?" _I don't understand, this was her gift, her game, this was what she was expecting wasn't it?_ She pursed her lips and frowned when Sera glared at her, _was it a fucking trap to lure me in or what? Because that was definitely a well-executed trap, it obliterated the thoughts of ever escaping._ Her head hung and she sighed dejectedly, she rose her hands in mock surrender and shrugged her shoulders, "I give up, I don't know what your problem is and I can see that your emotions are still running high." _So troublesome, I can never gauge or predict her._ The way the archer looked at her made her skin crawl and her blood slowly boiled hotter, _why look like I'm saying_ _bull_ _shit when it's true?_

"So I'll give you some space to cool off," as she turned around and head for the door, she glanced over her shoulder and shrugged off the scowl practically radiating rage. "You're more than a 'good fuck' to me Sera, I think I made that pretty clear before we took out the cookies." _When I finally said it out loud, I mean I didn't think she actually heard but…_ _Fuck, again with this shit where I'm always doing something fucking wrong._ A slight shake of her head and heavy breath, Sylvira stuffed her hands in her pockets and left the kitchen without either one exchanging another word, her eyebrows furrowed as her mind tried to apply logic and reason where none could be had. _Can't, not with feelings, not with her._ Another sigh left her lips and she tried not to take it personal, to make things worse, _she's just disappointed the cookies are crap, took it out on me._ _Which makes sense because it was my fault after all, but it was also her idea_ _._ _Besides should_ _n't_ _ **I**_ _be the angry one about this 'it's not all I'm here for' shit?_ _She's the one that had most of the fun after all, Creators I don't get her..._

Walking up the steps, the mage steeled herself for doom as she head towards the Ambassador's office. The only reason she had been able to get off and go to Sera in the kitchen without being roped or forced into etiquette _bullshit,_ was because she instead gave Leliana and Josephine a task to occupy them and _get them off my fucking ass._ As she reached the top of the stairs, she rapped her knuckles along the door frame as she entered without waiting, her eyebrow risen when she'd noticed a blush staining Josephine's cheeks with Leliana casually leaning over on her desk beside her, _uh?_ A shrug, "The blush is a dead giveaway, but it's not like I caught you doing anything scandalous so relax."

The Spymaster chuckled though kept her hands braced on the edge of the table, _on second thought_ _maybe I have._ _Leli's_ _left hand moved back to the table_ _when I entered_ _and she's not wearing_ _her_ _gloves,_ Josephine nodded meekly with a polite smile, _and the articulate wordsmith is speechless_. _I can have a bit of fun with this,_ "Unless you're wearing your breeches around your thighs." Sylvira laughed at the way the Ambassador's face lit up like a fire, her defense incoherent stammers and stutters. _I can't see her actually doing that, and they most likely weren't doing anything -a shame really- but this is too much fun._ _Though I probably shouldn't push my luck or they'll chase me with 'etiquette' and 'manners' bullshit_ _as revenge or feed me more bogus reports_ _._ "Relax Josie, just teasing. I know you weren't doing anything." She strode to the table and her head tilted in confusion when Leliana slightly shook her head, a coy half-smirk on her face.

 _Wait a sec,_ the mage's eyes widened and her jaw dropped slightly, _seriously?!_ "Uh, I just forgot I had something incredibly important to do," _if I don't get the fuck out of here right now I'm definitely going to be blamed and_ _Leliana will kidnap then torture me for my silence_ _._ She abruptly spun on her heel and took out her hand out of her pocket to wave over her shoulder, making way for the door as quickly as possible, _or maybe this is my chance to get out of etiquette shit for good?_ She stopped at the door and smiled evilly, the Spymaster chuckled quietly while Josephine hissed though clearly embarrassed and the dalish mage looked over her shoulder. _If they know that I know..._

"Just don't take too long with her Leliana, I really would like the lists and all the information you can scrounge up by tomorrow," _then they can't force me to do fuck all if they want my mouth shut._ A splutter from the Ambassador and Lavellan laughed on the way out, "Have fun!" _Seriously, that was a shocker,_ she grinned with pride and had a bounce in her step as she strode down the empty hall, most everybody had gone to sleep. _I never would have thought Josie did_ _ **everything**_ _at that desk, probably Leliana's influence though._ _On second thought,_ she glanced up at the night sky filled to the brim with stars and sucked in the chilly air, _it could just be Leliana playing with me and making me think that way too. Fuck now I_ _ **have**_ _to know, but she'll never tell me…_ Her head hung dejectedly then back up, _right, I'm sure another opportunity will come eventually. Hehe, come. Eventually. I crack myself up._

Taking a look at the window in Sera's room, she noticed there were no lanterns lit and frowned, _she hasn't gone back yet._ Another look at the sky then at the tower on the battlements closest to the stables, _I haven't played with the kiddos in a while, they're most likely up still too._ A quick check at who was around and she set off on her way, giving little grunts at the ungodly amount of stairs, _even going down sucks. My thighs are gonna be fucking monstrous by the time I get to kick Corypheus right in the sacks._ At that she looked up at the sky and hummed in thought, _does he even have balls anymore_ _or does red lyrium grow there too_ _?_ _That's gonna_ _hurt_ _my foot then. How does the guy even piss?_ She shook her head and immediately cast the thoughts out of her mind, _horrifying enough with Dorian, I'm not even going to be curious about that sort of shit anymore._ _Me~ow~ curiosity killed the cat,_ a soft chuckle, before sadness loomed over and tugged on her. _Woof._ "Meow..." She sighed and shrugged her shoulders as she tilted her head left then right, warming up her muscles and bracing herself for the inevitable as she crossed the lower courtyard and went up the stairs leading to the battlements. _S_ _era_ _just needs some time and space to blow off the rest of her steam, it's nothing personal and we'll be alright when we meet up in her room later._ An affirmative nod, heart already feeling better and lighter at the thought until she finally stood in front of the dreaded door to the kids' quarters.

 _Here goes nothing,_ she lightly rapped her knuckles along the door and instantly heard crashes inside. _I'm so fucked, why am I doing this to myself?_ She paled slightly and sweat begun to collect at her brow, her body already responding in it's fight or flight struggle, _stay,_ _you've survived a dragon_ _roaring in your face_ _, kids are no match for_ _the mighty Inquisitor_. Her lips curled into a smile upon hearing Uvun and Grâce's muffled screams of excitement, _they sure are up late, isn't it like… 11 or 12_ _by now_ _?_ A shake of her head, _not like I went to sleep like how I was supposed to when I was-_ she cut that thought off abruptly, _best not think about things like that._ The door whipped open and she rose her hand, "Yo, kiddos!"

Dragged in immediately, she steeled herself as she'd instantly been tackled and assaulted by wild rabid animals feasting on her agony, her muscles crying on the inside and branding Sylvira a traitor. _On second thought, kids are a match_ _for the mighty Inquisitor, mauling and flattening is way worse than roaring._ In an attempt to save herself, she just barely managed to grumble before the next round of turning into a pancake started, "Big Sis wants to go look at the stars outside, not turn into food glued to the floor." She grinned when Uvun sat on her stomach with Grâce behind, squishing the sore thighs that threatened they were just about to give up on life soon. "Why are you two so obsessed with attacking me all the time?" _They're polite and kind to everybody else. It's all a trick. Evil, I tell you, they're fucking evil._

"Because it's fun," Uvun replied cheekily, _see what I mean?_ "We like to make big trees go timber~ and then grab an axe to chop the rest." _They'd give Fen'Harel a run for his coin with talk like that,_ _and she says it so fucking casually too._

"It's really scary when you say it like that," Sylvira sighed and the corner of her lip curled into a half smirk, she tilted her head and nearly wanted to melt at the sight of Grâce hugging the dalish girl, nodding fervently in agreement with Uvun's statement. _They're so fucking cute though, so it's okay._ _Plus it's the least I can do, and punishment I deserve._ "So, star gazing?" The two cheered excitedly and climbed off, _guess that's a yes then,_ and helped pull Lavellan into standing. The kids tugged on her wrists and forced her to bend a little at the knees as they walked, _shit, too damn tall. I_ _wish I could_ _lose a couple inches._ When they opened the door, the mage's eyes immediately snapped to the blurry figure stomping up the stairs from the lower courtyard and her eyebrows furrowed with worry, recognizing both walk and short golden hair. _Glad she changed back in her clothes or this would've been bad but…_ She let out a sigh, _she's still pissed the hell off._ Her head snapped to Uvun and Grâce when they cheered loudly, she smiled softly as they danced around and glared at a patrol at the opposite end until the soldier promptly took that as a hint to disappear.

 _He better not fucking say anything either._ Another stolen look and though the archer was blurry in the distance, she could still tell that Sera had looked over when the children continued to laugh and hop around. _Maybe she'll come over?_ No such thing seemed like it was going to happen when the rogue instead continued towards the tavern, and Sylvira had to compose her face before the frown showed, _kiddos pick up on this shit like hawks._ She shoved her hands in her pockets and went towards the railing, her heart no longer beat erratically when Uvun pulled crazy stunts like dancing near the edge, _she's like Sera. They both have fucking acrobats running in their blood or something._ Guilt tinged the edges of her conscience until it was promptly buried and as she looked up at the ocean of stars in the sky she murmured, "Hey Uvun, did you know? Your name means 'star' in elvhen."

"Mm-hm, I know!" Uvun suddenly tackled Grâce from behind and crushed the orlesian girl in a tight bear hug, the two giggling like mad. _Are they even paying attention or am I safe to just look at the stars while they continue to burn their infinite energy?_ "Mamae liked to look at the stars, she used to tell stories about them all the time!" At that the mage's heart faltered and she smiled sadly, _Mamae… I_ _t's my fault that_ _her Mamae is no longer alive. Mine too, since I left the clan to_ _die…_ The moonlight illuminated the battlements and the sheer beauty was lost on Sylvira, an inner turmoil struggling to make itself known as she tried not to be brought down by the night's sudden turn of events. Everything was spiraling down, the deeper she sank in the hole with no bottom the more she wished Sera was there, and it aggravated her that she was gradually depending on the archer more and more. She was snapped out of her reverie when Uvun giggled and then continued to shout, "She also said there was another girl in the clan that loved to look at the stars just as much as me but she had to leave on a journey before I was born. So Mamae named me after her in her memory!"

 _Probably referring to me._ Lavellan's stomach churned uncomfortably as more damning reminders piled one on top of the other, her short time of life in the clan had seemed like nothing but a distant dream. _So that's what the storyteller -_ _think her name started with an F_ _\- told her huh? I_ _had_ _to leave_ _on a 'journey'_ _,_ _did she ever say why?_ Her blood began to boil again and she derailed it by looking back up at the sky, _Uvun can't know we're part of the same clan_ _or what I did_ _,_ _and_ _I don't need to sully what good memories she may have of them._ It'd been too much to bear though, the old bitter pain that took root and festered in her heart was something her pride was determined to hold on to. She wanted to prove to the _pretenders_ that she was the _true_ dalish elf, but now it hurt even more that there was nobody to prove it to anymore, _and that my hatred destroyed Uvun's life._ Again she'd been shaken out of her thoughts and looked down to the orlesian girl who squeezed her hand, wide eyes filled with concern, _like I said: hawks._

"Are you alright Big Sis?" Grâce gave another squeeze and the tall woman knelt down to be eye level, she had to force the smile on her face despite the use of the nickname she so dearly loved.

"Aye. It's getting late though, and Big Sis needs to catch up on some sleep. You two be careful okay? Don't stay up too long or you'll sleep in for half a day tomorrow," she chuckled when the two kids suddenly exchanged mischievous grins, _uh huh. That's what they want huh?_ She stood and affectionately ruffled the orlesian girl's hair, grinning when Grâce swatted her hand and tried to fix the irreparable damage to her intricate braid. It made her want to melt on the spot when Uvun came to the rescue, untying the rest and weaving the bits to re-do the braid again, _so that's who's been doing her hair huh? Cute._ "I'll see you later kiddos," she gave a chaste kiss to the tops of their heads and quickly ruffled Uvun's hair too before she jogged away, laughing when the dalish girl groaned and whined, _she acts as if she actually cares._ As she made it down the steps and towards the tavern, she sounded out different syllables to recall the storyteller's name, "Fi..."

 _She loved the stars, she always told me stories-_ a sharp pang in her heart until it suddenly disappeared- _I remember eating up every word, especially the stories about star-crossed lovers._ "Ssss," _I wonder if that's what Sera and I are?_ A wry chuckle and she shook her head, _preposterous, I think that's the most stupid idea I've had yet._ "Fissssss..." She scratched the back of her head and sighed, "Fisara? I think that's what her name was." _Easiest way is to ask Uvun, the least I can do is engrave the names of her family in my mind. What I'd give for a second chance..._ She stopped before she entered the tavern and grimaced, her heart sinking at that thought until she reassured herself in an attempt to bury the guilt, **_her_** _family. Not mine._ _They ceased to be my family the day they abandoned me._

Opening the door, she moved towards Cabot and held up one finger to signal the usual, she looked around the tavern and took note of the drunken patrons tonight. _I haven't seen Hawke in a while, I wonder if she's found her warden buddy yet?_ That wasn't what she was particularly miffed about, and without another thought as soon as the glass appeared on the counter she threw her head back and chugged the rum, _got nobody to fucking challenge. I'm gonna kick that old hag's ass someday I swear it._ Before the dwarf could ask what had her down in the dumps this time, Sylvira shoved her hands in her pockets and braced herself for the coming storm as she made way up the stairs, to Sera's room. _There's only two possible outcomes that I can be mentally prepared for: she's either in a good mood, or a bad mood. Anything beyond that is a fucking unpredictable_ _and wild_ _mystery._ The door was closed, _not a surprise,_ and she stood before it, unsure of whether she should knock or just enter. _Why the hell am I wondering? I always just enter,_ she blanched as she reached for the handle, _but I might get an arrow and see what color my brains are instead.  
_

Taking the risk, she slowly pushed the door open then peeked through the slit only to find Sera had already been laying down on the pillows, back facing her. _Sleeping already huh? This doesn't answer my outcome assumptions._ She entered as quietly as she could, not willing to disturb Sera and risk waking her, _because she'll_ _definitely_ _be in a bad mood then._ Spinning on her heel and carefully closing the door, she pulled her shirt over her head and abandoned it on the ground then worked on her boots, her gaze shifted to the subtlest flicker of blue that pulsed beneath her shoulder. _The nullification wears off faster down here, is it because I'm closer to the anti-magic pulses? Do templars leave their own form of ambient energy or what?_ A shudder, _not something I'm willing to study, perhaps I can ask Dorian if he doesn't mind looking into it for me._ She looked down at her scarf then the sleeveless undershirt and decided to keep it on, _I haven't had the chance to put the cream on my back ever since I took a bath,_ _if someone walks in here they -and Sera- will see the scars._

A heady sigh, she glanced at the archer's shoulders then back at her tome laying on one of the shelves, _I still have time, I'll re-apply the enchantment tomorrow._ She cautiously stepped over the abundant clutter decorating the floor and fought not to grin at a distant random memory, _I told her_ _that her_ _clothes would_ _make a nice carpet on_ _ **my**_ _floor_ _, and yet here's mine decorating her_ _s_ _. Well played,_ _Sera_ _._ Fortunately, things didn't seem to be totally grim when she noticed that the archer not only laid on her side but had been incredibly close to the wall, as if she'd been trying to make room in the small space they were allotted. She braced one knee and hand against the edge until she'd gradually climbed on top of the pillows, taking her spot behind Sera and bravely draping her arm around the rogue's midriff after pulling the thin blanket over them. A slight sharp inhale, but no reaction. _She's awake,_ Sylvira scooted closer, pressing herself against the rogue's back and legs, she gave a chaste kiss to a small bruise on Sera's shoulder. The kerchief was back and covered the other hickeys, ones she purposefully left for the world to see, _so that they can go suck it, and fuck themselves with their gossip and rumors._ She felt the way the archer tensed in her hold the slightest bit and refrained from sighing so as not to give the wrong idea, "Are you still upset with me, love?"

Silence was her answer and she frowned, she actually would apologize if she knew what to apologize for, _no point saying sorry if you don't mean it after all._ _Especially if it's something I might do again, whatever it is._ As the seconds ticked by, she adjusted herself and gave another tender kiss, pressing her lips and staying there to another bruise further along the shoulder. _If I kiss her neck or ear she'll probably think I just want to play,_ and she moved again, her lips brushing along the spine of the archer's shoulder blade, her eyes honed in to the lean muscles of the neck that subtlety rippled every now and then. _Silence is scarier than her outbursts… Nobody plans a murder out loud._ So she continued to whisper, in hopes the tension of the muscles would be her answer in order to figure out Sera's problem, "Was it because the cookies didn't turn out good?" The tension didn't change, the neck didn't ripple, she moved down the shoulder blade until she'd hit the rim of the red shirt, _not the taste of the cookies then._ "Was it because I didn't help out with the baking?" _That isn't it either it seems,_ _perhaps she's mad that I judged her cookies?_ "Was it because I was an ass and said they were shit?"

"You're always an arse," Sera murmured in a hushed tone, though it didn't seem to be her issue still. _We both are, but we don't mean anything by it when it's towards each other and she already knows this._ "Just shut up and sleep Syl..." _Is that her way of admitting she got mad for no reason?_ Something told her it wasn't, and she tried again.

"Was it when-"

"Of course you don't fucking listen."

"I implied for us to bake without the kids?" _I see._ The muscles rippled, she noticed the way the ears hitched the slightest bit higher, _jaw clenching._ _Everything after that point spiraled down,_ _I hit a sore nerve for her it seems_ _._ "That they'd make shitty cookies, because you made one bad batch?" The coil wound tighter and the rogue's body stiffened even more, Sylvira pressed another kiss to Sera's shoulder, she now knew and had a rough idea on how to remedy the situation. "We'll figure it out, love. Trust me, they'll know how to make good cookies thanks to you in no time, and I promise I'll help out." She took the risk and pressed her lips to the archer's nape, "I'm sorry," she whispered with sincere guilt, "For insulting your efforts like that." _Like it meant nothing, when_ _the cookies_ _truly_ _seem to be_ _a big deal to you._ _I don't know why, not yet._ "I know you worked hard and I didn't make it any easier." The tension gradually melted away and she was relieved to find Sera eventually settling comfortably in her embrace, she decided to go all out, "I love you?"

"Yeah," a short chuckle, "Yer so frigging sweet when y'say that like you ain't sure." _But I can tell you're still happy when I say it,_ _I can hear it in your voice even if you try to hide it_ _._ She pushed down the kerchief with her mouth and planted a kiss to a bruise hidden beneath it, fighting not to grin with pride when she felt a shiver roll through the archer's body, _sensitive hm?_

"I love you," Lavellan faked a mock-hurt sulky tone, "Even if you're so mean to me all of the time..."

"Oi, you're mean too!"

"I saw that you were perfect and so I loved you," the tension -the good kind- came and the mage pushed herself up with her elbow, her hand running along Sera's bare forearm as she planted a kiss below the rogue's earlobe. Her gaze was glued to the razor sharp slits that watched her from the corner and she ghosted her lips along the edge of the pointed ear, whispering along the way, "Then I saw you weren't perfect..." Her hand brushed over the archer's and she intertwined their fingers, parting to look at Sera in the eyes as she mustered as much courage as she could. It was different to say the words playfully, or to write them down, or to mutter them under her breath when she thought Sera wasn't listening or able to hear… It was somehow a world of difference as she stared _into_ the brown-green orbs, the slight flush at the tips of the archer's ears -to which she was sure she mimicked judging by the warmth in her own- and say the same words as seriously as she could. "And I loved you even more." Her voice still cracked and she cursed inwardly, the heat in her ears throbbed when the corner of Sera's lips curled into a half-smirk, _she's obviously noticed it as we_ _ll,_ and she gave a brief squeeze of the hand intertwined with her own.

"Before, if you or someone else was mad at me, I didn't give a shit and figured if things were really that bad then they'd sort themselves out eventually. That they would because I knew I had a use, that I was needed for a favor. That's the only reason and only time I exist, when people need me for something." The rogue rotated her upper torso to get a better look and had a frown on her face, her lips parted to protest but she'd been cut off, "But now..." Lavellan let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes as she brushed her lips along Sera's freckled cheekbone, "I'm sorry for upsetting you, love." _Please don't leave me._ A sharp pang in her heart and her eyebrows furrowed, she tried to distract herself with kisses and was grateful when the archer met her lips, the two continuing the conversation with their mouths in the manner they preferred. "Forgive me." _Don't abandon me._ Water collected beneath her eyelids and she squeezed them shut tighter, she pressed harder and her hand untangled from Sera's only to roam under her shirt, "I don't want you. I **need** you."

 _More and more, it gets worse every day._

"Honey tongue," Sera whispered in between kisses, she gradually inched her entire body to lay on her back and pulled the mage's scarf to make her climb over, the blanket abandoned on the ground. _You don't need me for anything, and yet I still exist_ _to you_ _._ The tenderness was a stark contrast to the passionate lust they shared a little under an hour ago, but the desire consumed and burned in them still, _infinite, like the kids._ At that she remembered something and chuckled in the archer's mouth, who parted with a strange look and eyebrow risen in confusion, "Uh, Syl?"

"I just remembered what I told Uvun and Grâce, and now I don't make any sense." A small smile, the mage pushed herself up with shaky arms and watched the way the dangling ends of the scarf pooled on Sera's chest, _she doesn't care that I strip everything else off but sleep with this_ _still_ _._ "I told them I needed to go so I could catch up on sleep." For a moment Sera looked even more lost until her eyes narrowed and she huffed.

"Not my bloody fault y'can't keep offa me, perv."

"Oh it's definitely your fault, all of it," a quick kiss to the neck and the archer scoffed as she rolled on her side again, her knees bumping the side of Sylvira's and she nipped the mage's wrist in front of her. Lavellan laughed and instead she trailed kisses down Sera's shoulder until she hit the shirt, "You're too much for me, cookie."

"Damn straight, can't handle this." _And she complains that my head can get too big._ "Are ya gonna sleep then or not? Quit teasing before y'start something you can't finish." _Now there's a thought._ Repressing the evil grin as best as she could, the dalish woman lowered to continue until she'd been frozen in her spot, "Don't think I ain't on to you Syl. Do it on purpose and you won't get to touch for a week." _Shit._ The decision wasn't particularly hard and within seconds Sylvira dropped behind the rogue, scooting closer and wrapping her arm around to settle in a comfortable embrace. "That's what I thought," the hint of pride didn't go unnoticed and the mage chuckled softly as she shuffled lower, giving one last kiss to the back of Sera's neck.

 _Mm, I've been wrapped around your finger_ _for a while_ _, but you're not allowed to know that._

"Aye I'm proud of you too, love. You're getting better with your blackmailing and business deals." Silence, for a while, Lavellan's lips grew into a grin that widened with each passing second. And then she laughed.

"I screwed myself **out** of a deal. Fuck you."

* * *

 _Oh hoh~?_ Morning came, and Sylvira surprisingly woke up earlier than Sera this time. As such she decided to give a nice surprise of her own, and her hand slithered down to the junction of the archer's thighs. Stirred awake, the rogue gave a tired moan before she swatted the hand away, _what's dis~?_ "I see you had a wet dream about me Sera," the mage lilted playfully, the knowledge as such had been the fuel to help all the gears in her head run at max power and snap fully awake. "Shall I prove reality is better than dreams once again?"

"Shut up," _fuck, that sleepy voice. Just fucking **yeee** **ss** **s**._ "It's coz I saw you get hit by a horse," _uh, what the fuck and she's turned **on** by that?_ "And I pissed myself laughing." _Oh burn._ At that the dalish woman bellowed out gleefully, she propped herself up on her elbow and Sera rotated her upper torso to look behind, a lazy lopsided grin plastered on her face. Before Lavellan lowered to kiss, however, the rogue rose her hand in front of her lips and amusement swirled with the exhaustion in her eyes, _aw I see how it is you jerk._ Behind her palm, Sera muffled, "I wanna wake up Syl. _Not_ die."

"Alright, alright I get it." The mage rolled off and plopped over for the toothbrush on the shelf, tripping on clothing along the way but saving herself at the last second. "Shit, even our clothes want to kill me." She plucked her brush from the cup and noticed the second one, smiling softly to herself before taking the cup and extending her arm, pointing towards the groggy woman swaying to and fro as she sat up. "C'mon, if I gotta brush then you gotta brush. I ain't brushing just to inherit your stinky breath."

"Mine don't stink like arse," _says you._ Sera poked out her tongue then leaned forward, snatching her toothbrush out of the cup and sticking it in her mouth. She blindly fumbled for her boots and muffled curses as Sylvira watched with an amused expression, _I wish this could last forever. Perhaps I'll ask Gatsi to blow my room to smithereens, I can manage feeding bullshit excuses to Josephine everyday if she tries to play the 'Inquisitor can't be or do' whatever card._ She tilted her head and noticed that the side of the archer's jaw was munching up and down, _the heck, is she hungry or what?_

"It's not a chew stick, you don't chew on the bristles Sera," _wasn't she paying attention when I was brushing the first time?_ "Here look," the mage demonstrated by grinning while sliding the brush across the front of her teeth when Sera looked up, an irritated expression on her face from not being able to find her boots.

"Seriously?" _What?_ The archer grinned and repositioned the toothbrush in her mouth, instead she poked it out so that her cheek bobbed back and forth. The dirty suggestive action nearly made Lavellan choke on the air that suddenly bubbled up her throat as she burst into laughter again. _I never thought of that, she always finds new creative ideas with normal shit._ _The master_ -her heart stung a little but her mind made no such connection- _of improvisation._

"I fucking love you," Sylvira made way for the windows and opened it, dumping the cup of old water out and dunking it in the bucket that was supposed to be used to 'wipe' Sera down, _something we definitely have to do someday, whether she's sick or not._ She rinsed her mouth and spat it out on the roof, filling up the cup and offering it to the archer while she redressed. It was then she stopped and glanced over, she noticed the way Sera idly brushed her teeth while her eyes remained glued to the windows, _uh, something interesting happening outside or what?_ With a jerk of her boots on, she stole a peek outside, _just the usual commotion and she's avoided eye contact for a while already._

It didn't take long to figure out when she backtracked and mentally walked through what had happened moment by moment, _her ears are a little pink, seems we both share a similar weakness._ After she shoved her shirt on, pulled the scarf out from underneath then smoothed out the wrinkles - _so Josie doesn't 'politely' bitch about appearances_ \- she carefully sifted through the wreckage and bent down to give Sera a chaste kiss to her cheek. _Each kiss has meaning, the one on the cheek is innocent and typically just means 'we're friends'._ She smiled at the way the razor sharp slits stole a split second glance before promptly avoiding and staring outside the window again, she trailed kisses across the freckled cheekbone and whispered in the rogue's ear, "Close your eyes." She smirked at Sera's clueless look who then shrugged and complied, and the mage pressed her lips to the freckled shoulder, _the one on the shoulder means 'you're perfect'._ "Now what do you see?"

A chuckle, "What kinda stupid question's that?" _The kind you're about to like._ "Nothing, ye daft tit." Lavellan straightened out a little and pressed her lips to the archer's forehead, parting with a grin when Sera opened her eyes and stared confusedly once again. _The one on the forehead means 'we're cute together'._ The mage took the cup and brush away after seeing Sera was done with it, and reached for her hand to give a small peck on each knuckle, _other than a polite greeting, the one on the hand can also mean 'I adore you'._

"That's my life without you," she ducked and planted a soft kiss above the kerchief on the neck, reveling in the sound of Sera's hitched breath. _The one on the neck means 'I want you, **now** ' which is always fucking true._ _And finally,_ anticipation thrummed along her nerves when she felt the archer tug on her scarf, she knew all too well what this signal meant by now. As her lips smoothed over Sera's, she quickly levitated the cup and brushes back to the shelf before weaving her fingers in the golden hair, pulling the rogue closer, harder, the tender kiss rapidly escalating into something more. _The one on the lips means-_ "I love you, Sera." Her ears throbbed with warmth and when she peeked through half-lidded eyes she saw the tips of the archer's ears a darker pink, the scarf tugged more and pulled her on top as Sera laid down.

 _This is how she communicates, and this is **much** better,_ the persuasive tongue delved inside her mouth and ran along her palate, the two groaned and only the sounds of their ragged breathing before their lips crashed together resounded in the small nook. Unfortunately, a bucket of ice cold water poured down and extinguished the heat out of their moment the second loud knocks echoed behind Sera's door. Both women groaned for a different reason and Sylvira rested her forehead along the shoulder that sported a couple of bruises, letting out a dejected sigh before answering with a clearly irritated tone, "Who is it and what is it now?" _I fucking **hate** being the Inquisitor, and things were going perfectly too…_

"Sister Nightingale sent for me Serah," _a fucking messenger. Leliana sent a fucking messenger and didn't even give me five minutes with Sera,_ the mage cast a glare towards the tower where the Spymaster and her ravens resided, _I bet she's watching, isn't she? She did this on purpose._ "Wanted me to send a message-"

" **No shit** ," both women muttered under their breaths in perfect synchrony.

"That she and Ambassador Montilyet have compiled the lists you asked for." _Fucking hell, the one time they do an excellent job and it's got to be now?_ Sera shot a dirty accusatory look to which the dalish woman immediately noticed -thanks to the gradually growing ominous aura beneath her- and defended herself, _else I'll die if I don't._

"It's not my fault," Sylvira hissed, whatever else the messenger was talking about had been drowned out by the two women whispering to each other, "How was I supposed to know they'd get it done this quickly? This is just their punishment because I saw them maybe-fucking last night."

" **What**?" _Oh fuck, I just made it worse._ The razor sharp slits narrowed and flashed with murderous killing intent, _jealousy is a very scary and dangerous thing. Life-threatening too, it's probably on the top ten reasons list of why people are killed._

"I didn't _mean_ to obviously, when I left the kitchen last night-" another warning flash and Lavellan gulped audibly, the hands that clutched her scarf in a death-grip ensured escape was not possible, _she may actually choke me to death if I don't disarm this situation and_ _now_ _._ "I took the stairs that go to Josie's office, and I saw Leliana you know… Leaning over the table, gloves off and shit. Her hand moved quickly when I entered-" a series of flashes, "Not like **that** , fuck! I meant like, Leliana _could_ _a_ been doing a little _somethin'-somethin'_ for Josie until she moved her hand to the table, act all casual and shit."

It'd been getting harder and harder to breathe, as she zipped through her words the knitted fabric around her throat tightened and she wheezed breathlessly by the end. "Like I think I caught them either about to maybe-fuck or not, look I don't fucking know but I didn't actually **see** anything okay?!" A moment of silence, Sera glared with skepticism but the fingers loosened on the scarf little by little and the dalish woman was relieved she'd be about to breathe easier soon.

 _Barely have anything left in my lungs._ "Would've been hot though."

And the scarf tightened to the point she passed out from lack of oxygen.

* * *

"I hate you. Both of you. You're Thedas' worst advisors, the two most sadistic women I have ever met." Sylvira grumbled for the umpteenth time as she hooked her finger on the scarf then yanked left and right to loosen it, said 'worst' advisors merely smiled politely, _just like the kids. Nice and polite to everybody, but they're fucking evil. Evil I tell you. They did this on purpose to screw with me,_ she held out her hand, "Give me the lists I almost lost my fucking life over." Josephine was the only one who managed to keep a straight and innocent face while Leliana let out a brief chuckle before forcefully composing herself as she handed said lists over, _see what I mean?_ "Did you two even fuck last night or was that just to screw with my head?" A light blush, and Josephine coughed into her fist at the blunt question but shook her head, and seemed sincere about the answer.

"Eugh," the mage grunted, "Shit. Almost died for absolutely no reason then," _except vicious jealousy. And maybe my mouth._ Looking down at the reports, the lines had been blurry and the throbbing of a headache already began to settle in the center of her forehead, "Seriously…?" She rubbed her temples and sighed dejectedly, she tiredly fumbled for her glasses in her pocket and slid them on. She froze immediately upon seeing the looks of confusion above the rim of her glasses and hesitantly looked up, sheepishly smiling at the two surprised advisors, "Er… Sera likes intelligent looking types," a nervous laugh and she scratched the back of her head, "I'm practicing for a role, where I'm the teacher and she's the student. How do they look?"

"W-wonderful Lady Lavellan," Josephine managed, _lady_ _? Me? No._ Both advisors seemed skeptical but nonetheless nodded in the affirmative, and the Spymaster stepped forward to fix the crooked glasses. Lavellan held her breath without meaning to, her body tensed at Leliana's proximity for some reason and she felt something burning into the back of her head, _oh no. This is_ _ **not**_ _good, I'm well acquainted with this aura that radiates a fucking passion to end my life in an excruciatingly agonizing way._ She glanced over her shoulder, they'd been in the Ambassador's office and there shouldn't have been any places to hide… Until she looked up at the rafters only to whip back at the two advisors with another nervous smile. _When the fuck did_ _Sera_ _even get up there, and how?!_ _Why?!_ A pebble hit the back of her head -literally- and she bit back a sigh, _never mind, I know why._ "I believe they look quite nice on you and-"

"Seriously?" Sylvira's eyebrow rose, she couldn't believe what she was hearing and she looked over at Leliana who nodded in agreement. For some reason unbeknownst to her, both warmth and stabbing pain warred within her and she gaped slack jawed at both advisors who were once again confused because of her reaction. She fixed herself and chuckled, "I mean, of course they do! I look good in anything, naturally." She pushed the glasses higher up when they slid down her nose then went back to reading the reports, grateful she could finally see just what the hell was even written down without squinting or risking a pounding headache, _maybe it's really not so bad, like how Sera made it seem?_ The corner of her lip curled into a smile and the ominous aura behind her died out, pride and relief welled up in her, _but! On to business._ She flipped through the reports then split it into one stack that contained information on Celene, Briala and Gaspard, _the main squeezes,_ then waved the rest.

"This is the list of nobles attending the ball who either outright refused to support the Inquisition or talked trash about us, right?" Her smile quickly grew into a wicked grin when Leliana smirked coyly and nodded, though Josephine looked as though she wanted to know nothing of what they had in mind. _Something that'll make even Leliana's eyes roll,_ she quickly skimmed the contents of whatever had been drudged up on Celene, _it'll be important to try and memorize everything I can in case if it'll help me narrow down those who are willing to make good on their threats to kill her. An Empress like her,_ she spun on her heel and began walking out of the office, completely oblivious to the two advisors calling out to her and trying to gain her attention, _she's got half a nation of enemies. Looks like my work's cut out for me for the day._ A hand fell on her shoulder and she looked back, eyebrow risen in confusion when it had been Leliana that grabbed her, "Uh, what?"

"Etiquette training and dancing."

"Well tie a noose and let's dance the swing milady." Sylvira frowned then turned around with a heavy sigh, "Look you two, I really do appreciate that you were able to compile all this information over one night-which is a miracle in itself and you two are more than free to take some time off to rest and catch a nap if you need it. However, I'm going to the ball to stop an assass **in** , not mingle with assass **holes**. Well the assassin will probably be an assasshole," _who probably goes_ _in_ _-a-hole hehe Sera'd like that,_ "But that's not the point." She rose her hand with the reports on the _main squeezes,_ "Have faith in me, I won't be going up to Celene cussing or yelling let's play Wicked Grace, stakes are clothes." _Though now that I've mentioned it, I quite like this idea._ _Perhaps I'll be able to convince Celene when she sees I've saved her life?_

"I may not play The Game but I play enough other games to know that they all share one common yet incredibly important rule." Turning around and steeling herself, she sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, for she was about to step into the judgmental world with her previously-dreaded glasses on her face. _It's not so bad, and if others have an issue with it fuck 'em. As long as Sera likes them, as long as she doesn't perceive it as a flaw, then fuck whoever else has a problem with it._ She glanced over her shoulder and grinned at the two women who wore concern on their faces, "Never reveal your intentions." She waved the reports again, "I'm going to skip the morning meeting to study these for the day, if you need me I'll be in Sera's room." _Quick getaway before they protest to the skipping,_ _fuck it's like they're my parents or something,_ "Later!"

As Lavellan exited the office and out into the keep's main hall, the first thing she did was look straight up at the rafters above her only to find that there seriously was a hole in the stone walls small enough for Sera to crawl through, _isn't she fucking scared of oh I don't know. Falling and going fucking_ _ **splat**_ _?! Shit…_ However, there were no warning glares, no life-threatening flashing of the eyes or ominous aura when the archer crawled through the hole, _I wonder when she even discovered that, or how?_ Her gaze fell on the scaffolding where Vivienne normally lounged around, _there?_ As she looked at Sera her eyebrow rose in confusion, the rogue had a massive shit eating grin and tapped in between her eyes with her middle finger before giving a thumbs up. _Ohh I get it,_ Sylvira laughed then nodded, "Aye..." She murmured as she walked down the main keep, her lips too curling into a relieved smile upon noticing others who stole curious glances her way. "You were right, naturally. And it's all thanks to you, love."

* * *

"Hah-meeph-moo-fuhmy." _Uh huh. Totally got that, Syl. Too bad, no studying._ Sera shook her head as she pressed harder to completely smother the mage's mouth with her own, tugging the scarf to make Lavellan bend more and nonchalantly plucking the reports only to toss them over her shoulder. The papers fluttered in the air, the archer grinned as she watched the citron orbs when they swayed left and right as they followed the falling reports. Then grinned even wider, when Sylvira shrugged and pulled her closer for the kiss. The glasses slid down the nose and accidentally bumped into the rogue's but that only served as fuel for the both of them, Sera twisted the dangling ends of the scarf around one wrist while the other hand wove higher to undo the lopsided ponytail.

A brief reprieve for them to catch much-needed oxygen, their breaths mingled and their hooded eyes clouded, the best part of it all was that Sera now had the upper dominant hand. She'd trapped Lavellan against the door to her room the moment she stalked the woman inside, slightly miffed her jealousy got the best of her but relieved that nothing ever happened. She reasoned to herself she only watched to determine just how bad a punishment the mage deserved but she beat herself up in her head the entire time, feeling lame about the lengths she went through. _I trust her, I do but…_ And soon her passion was dwindling as both concern and guilt welled up in her instead, _and Syl's not even saying anything 'bout it. Like she expected that from me, that's even worse innit?_ _Nobody likes the clingy girlfriend, possessive and paranoid as fuck._ "Shephruh?"

"Jeez," Sera parted and chuckled, "Y'can't do **anything** normal. D'ya gotta be weird with talking too?" She rolled her eyes when the dalish woman flashed a charming grin, "Loser."

"In my defense you're not kissing like normal either," Sylvira pushed the glasses up her nose, and the rogue's belly stirred pleasantly at the sight before her. The unkempt golden hair splayed about, the glasses, the scarf wrapped around her wrist, and she was the one trapping the woman this time instead of the other way around. _No more talking, don't wanna talk anymore,_ when she rose on her toes to try and seal the lips, the mage instead straightened out a little taller and looked concerned, _eugh fuck too slow. And she's too fucking tall._ "What's the matter?" _Annoying when she just knows, like it's obvious._

"Nothing, kiss me. Less talking more fucking."

" **Sera**." _Shit's sake…_

"Nothing, alright? Just a little y'know, pissed at myself. For being a dick and following you, coz I thought you'd..." _See Red and Ruffles goin' at it, and like it._ "You'd… Y'know." _Don't want yer eyes anywhere but me._

"That's it?" Sylvira chuckled and framed the frowning archer's face in her hands, the bandages made one cheek itch a little, _wonder if she'll ever be okay with that, next?_ "I'd do the same, well if I had the balance and talents to climb rafters anyways," the mage admitted softly, a calm smile on her face when Sera's gaze immediately snapped to hers. "I mean I don't claim to be an expert on feelings, but I think it's natural that either one of us would be jealous," a carefree and childish grin of the likes the archer hadn't seen in a long time, "We're like **dragons** protecting our piles of treasure, hear us roar. Badass and cool, right?" _What a frigging loser, jeez._ The pleasant humming in the pits of her stomach intensified when Lavellan bent and buried her face in the crook of the rogue's neck, the sincere and gentle tone back, "If I was in your position, I know I wouldn't want your eyes on anyone else but me." _Syl gets it, Syl always gets it._ "And I appreciate your efforts in  not loading Leliana or Josie with arrows because I can't think of how I'd bullshit my way out of that one," the two chuckled wryly and Sera fell silent again.

Delicate lips caressed her neck just above the kerchief and she shivered, and her whole body shuddered at the tender whisper, "I've never trusted anyone else but you. I know that I don't have a good streak of earning your trust myself, but I'd like to hope I have been earning it little by little." The archer nodded fervently, she wanted to say that Lavellan had her trust too but her mouth felt as though she'd been chewing on cotton balls, and all she could do was tug on the scarf. _This always fucking happens to me, so lame._ She'd been forever grateful of the breathless chuckle and the woman who always seemed to just understand, and instantly melted against the delicate lips that gently brushed over hers. _Honey tongue always just gets it, knows what to say, all I can do is this._

Feeling daring, the archer decided to take her chances and slowly slid her hands under both of Sylvira's shirts, flattening her palms against the mage's abdomen and keeping her eyes open to watch for any signs that hinted a bad reaction or worse, _flashing. Don't want her to flash, want her to feel good._ So far nothing, and the tall woman's eyes remained closed as their mouths exchanged a conversation of their own. _She trusts me, so this is okay then right?_ Her hands slid higher, her fingers stopped by the rim of a bra and she plucked at the edge, her thumbs poking under. She felt the sharp inhale as the ribs expanded, the way the smooth lips stilled and froze for the briefest of moments before pressing harder, _she'd say stop if it wasn't okay… Right?_ Her gaze shifted down when she felt hands close over her own, Lavellan reached under her shirts and now she had no idea if this meant stop or go or- "You're making me nervous, cookie." _Fuck,_ just as she had been about to retract her hands they'd been held in place, and her eyebrows furrowed with confusion as she looked back up at the fond smile, "Your nervousness is making me nervous." _Oh._

"Can't help it," Sera rasped, her throat still hoarse from the cotton ball phenomenon. "Want you to-"

"I know." Sylvira leaned down, the whisper tickled the archer's lips, "I trust you with all of me." She smiled again, the heart-warming smirk as the citron orbs swirled with nothing but sincerity was doing a number to Sera's self-control, _can't pounce on her. Slow, gotta take it slow._ "Because I know you're **nothing** like the assholes from the past," the mage pulled their hands out from the shirts and planted a soft kiss to each knuckle, it only served to make Sera's urges even stronger. "But," Lavellan straightened out, a guilty look on her face, _huh? The heck's wrong?_ "I really do need to study the dossiers before we leave for Halamshiral, and you've seen all the papers fluttering around," _aw shit._ Whatever expression the archer made was apparently funny to Sylvira, _not to me,_ "Don't look so glum, love. How about I just focus on two each day, that will leave us plenty of free time for the night. Does that sound like a fair deal?"

"Zero sounds fair-er," Sera sighed when the mage smiled apologetically, "Fine~" she wove through the room and stepped over the table, taking her seat where the two had been sleeping and rearranged the pillows. "Sit behind me and lemme sleep on you then."

"You're quite determined to distract me aren't you?" Lavellan chuckled and nodded in agreement, she began collecting the papers from the ground and the rogue had to force her gaze on something else. _Looks so pretty with her hair down and the glasses_ _on_ _, fuck sake._ "Are you actually going to sleep?"

"Yeah," the archer shrugged, "What else m'I gonna do? Bull ain't 'round so much coz of Moustache and drinking by myself is boring." She ignored the coy smirk in her peripheral vision as she continued to spout more excuses, "Beardy's off doing knightly stuff or carving toys, so no drinking partner there either. Varric's probly writing more rubbish so no Wicked Grace, Cass is-" the archer's pride nearly lashed out when Sylvira hammered down the nail _as frigging usual. This is the part that sucks when she just gets it._

"It brings tears to my eyes that you -of all people- are **willing** to be bored out of your mind and do absolutely nothing just to be with me."

"Shut up," Sera snickered at the sarcastic mention of tears, "And sit down already, arse." She scooted forward and crinkled up the blanket, waiting until the woman tucked a leg on each side of her hip and half-laid on the abundance of pillows serving as a makeshift chair. As the rogue settled in the small cocoon-like embrace and laid her head in between Lavellan's collarbones, she frowned when she felt something akin to a pointy chin rest on top of her head and her lips pursed at the sight of dossiers hovering in front of her face. "At least hold 'em like normal, now yer creeping me out on purpose."

"I'd never dream of doing such a cruel thing," _uh huh. Sure. I believe you- **not**._ Sylvira chuckled quietly and wrapped her arms around the rogue's waist, levitating the dossiers higher, "I just thought I had a better use for my hands, don't you agree?" _Maybe_ _…_ "And in it's small way this little exercise will help me with my ability to sustain something while my attention is-" the lilt and suggestive innuendo didn't go unnoticed, "Elsewhere." _So she says no to frigging for herself but has no problem teasing me?_ Something about it struck her as odd and Sera tilted her head back to look up, giving a deadpan glare when the chin slid to her forehead. _Maybe she's still uncomfy then._

" _ **Oi**_." She sighed and chuckled at the sight of cheeks puffing out before Lavellan lifted her head and peered back down, a playful grin on her face as the glasses slowly slid down her nose. _Fuck._ The rogue looked at the reports and scooted closer in the warm embrace, she slid her hands over Sylvira's then skimmed some of the information on the dossier about Briala, _eugh, elves. Elf, elf, elf._ "So, why are you stalking people? Don't see how knowing more arseholes will help ya stop another arsehole. Arrows does that **way** better, fact."

"Stalking is such a strong word with negative connotations," _here we go, more of her bullshit._ "I prefer 'intense research of an individual' especially since in this case it's true." _She's got a point, but it's a bullshit point that reeks of a clumpy sack o' shit._ "Every woman has different instructions to her heart," _huh?_ Sera glanced up again only to see the mage's chin, _her boogers hehe too bad she don't really have any or I'd tease to make her puppy face,_ the glasses, and the unkempt golden hair that defied gravity as it heavily framed the woman's face. _Why don't she wear it like this all the time? If it's down she tucks it behind her ears, daft if y'ask me. Looks way better when it's wild and free, like her-and us._ She was snapped out of her _intense research of an individual_ when Lavellan smiled affectionately at her, "They're written in her eyes, her smile, through her actions, through her tears. Someone just has to care enough to read them."

"Uh… S'that for me or you mean t'say you're gonna charm the underpants off Briala?"

"Charm the underpants off Briala." That earned the mage a harsh pinch to the thigh as she laughed, the musical laughter never ceased to make Sera's stomach hum pleasantly as she grinned with pride. _It's coz o' me she feels comfy to just be_ _ **her**_ _, not nobody else._ The archer blindly reached one arm over the same shoulder and hooked around Sylvira's nape, her fingers weaving in the thick golden tresses and exploring what they felt like while giving a light scratch with her nails. "Mm~ determined indeed, I'll never be able to get anything done with you around."

"We never do nothing anyways. That's a bloody good thing innit?" Though Sera knew it was something the mage had to do, and when Lavellan was focused she did anything she had to in order to remain that way. Her hand relaxed and fell, the last thing she wanted to do was push the woman away to the point she'd go to her _shitty tower I shoulda made shittier_ to study in peace there. Or the _stupid 'hiding spot' she blew up the fortress for._

"It's a great thing love, you help keep me sane after all." Sylvira reached for the rogue's hand before it slipped away and rotated it to give a soft kiss to her palm, _fucking tease._ "I appreciate it but that little bit of scratching is going to be what makes me rip off your clothes and love you madly 'til the sun's down." _That's just gonna make me wanna scratch some more._ "Then we'll fuck all night until we pass out from exhaustion," _what's the difference between 'love you madly' and fucking anyways?_ "Thanks to that apron gift of yours I've plenty more new ideas on what else we can do too, I'm a professional when it comes to you and fantasies." _And she's_ _ **stopping**_ _it? Fuck,_ Sera's stomach buzzed with _all the fucking animals_ until she'd realized the growling was partly due to hunger, _o_ _h fuck no, you can skip_ _lunch_ _. You done it lots before, so shut the hell up._ The stomach however didn't seem to agree and rumbled a tiny bit, though with a quick stolen glance the dalish woman's attention still seemed to be glued to the dossier.

 _Fuckin' hate it when it's so damn quiet and my belly decides to sound like a dying_ _goat. Frigging lame,_ _'specially when she's turning me on_ _._ "Briala reminds me of someone," the mage breathed quietly, Sera's eyebrow rose in confusion and started skimming the details herself. _How's she go from saying honey tongue rubbish, teasing me, to-_ her face fell and everything that thrummed was shut off, replaced by irritation- _this is_ _daft_ _._ "Don't you think she's kinda like you? Well she's older than you so you're kinda like her technically." _And now piss me off too._

"Shut up." That earned her a confused glance, the archer shrugged it off and tried to tame her fickle temper before she snapped, "I ain't like nobody and nobody's like me."

"Well yes that's true too but-" _no, no, no. Shut it you daft tit, don't make it worse._ "She's fighting for a good cause by organizing a formidable resistance despite the overwhelming odds, by being the champion for those who don't have a voice and you do the same with the Jennies."

"Haaah~?" Sera looked up, her eyebrow risen and jaw dropped as if the mage had said the most stupid thing yet. "I fight for the frigging little people who don't got no say, stuck in the middle of bullshit because of nobs like the tits we're going to save."

"Exactly, see? You get it too!" _Oh for fuck's sake,_ _why's her mouth_ _ **always**_ _gotta make it worse?_ "You and her-"

"Syl if y'know what's good for you, y'better shut the fuck up and drop it. I ain't nothin' like her, got it?" A pregnant pause, the silence was tampering with the archer's temper and she tried to relax her stiff shoulders as best as she could, the tension was beginning to cause mildly painful cramps. The sigh that hit the top of her head was damn near about to be the straw that broke everything, though Lavellan thankfully put Briala's dossier down and instead Celene floated aimlessly around in the rogue's face. _The big butt on the throne we're goin' to save, she owes Syl when this is all done. Me too, coz we ought to be having fun instead of this boring shite._ The aggravation of all that had happened just seconds ago still made her skin crawl, the anger festered in her chest and she had a sudden case of the twitchy fingers, _haven't shot in a_ _ **really**_ _long time, fuck._ "Lemme out Syl," her eye twitched at the mage's frustrated sigh.

"You're seriously that pissed off over a simple comparison? I even shut up just like-"

"Just lemme out," Sera cut her off before her temper lashed out again, "I'm hungry yeah? And I wanna shoot some arrows, haven't done it in a while. Musta been weeks now, feels that way anyways." The embrace loosened and the archer shuffled her way out, careful not to trip on the endless amount of clutter haphazardly decorating her room. The mixture of both annoyance and pout in her peripheral vision was threatening her resolve not to explode, and it hadn't helped whatsoever when she too knew it was over something _simple_ too, _the word Syl hates_ _…_ Which made it all the more worse and was the fuel that added to the already raging wildfire struggling to be contained. _Stupid, stupid, stupid,_ she chastised herself in the back of her mind, _every time Syl's working y'both piss each other off. Still don't get how she likes the 'big' people, fancy tits are nothin' but a buncha arseholes._

 _ **You don't know every noble but you know not every noble's a dick.**_

 _Fuck this bullshit. Stupid daft rubbish coming from a daft tit is all it is._ Sera froze when she'd just about to open the door, the sincere whisper easily muddled the inner turmoil within her and now she had been conflicted with where to direct her anger. "I'm sorry for upsetting you, love." Herself? Sylvira? Why lash out, why had this bothered her to this degree? So she sought out excuses, blamed everything except herself as she shook her head but said nothing back. _I ain't like frigging Briala, the fat elfy heads up top-_

 _ **Bottom's not always the best, top's not always the worst, it's not as black and white and simple as that.**_

 _Shite. Fuck this is makin' my head hurt..._ "Have fun, try not to load arrows in Josie or Leliana though." A soft snicker, Sera glanced over her shoulder and nodded as she gave a half-smirk. Relief filled her and anger melted away at the sight of the sullen woman on **their** makeshift bed, looking the way she did that still _turns me the fuck on,_ a small smile of her own that seemed to say she understood for the outburst. _Syl always just gets it. Why can't I?_ Instead Sera turned around, walked over and wove her fingers in the ample bangs as she smoothed them back and away to reveal her target hiding beneath. She bent down and tenderly pressed her lips to the mage's forehead, when she parted she grinned at the lost expression, _what? If she switches all the time I can too._ "Sera? Does this mean you're-"

"Told you didn't I?" Sera shrugged and smirked mischievously as she left the confused mage, "I'm just hungry and wanna shoot arrows."

* * *

Feeling much better with a full belly, ridding the annoying case of twitchy fingers and changing her cranky pants, Sera wasted no time going back to her room. Her head was clearer, the tension in her shoulders gone, and she grinned knowing that it only took half an hour at best as oppose to hours or even a couple days to work through the negative emotions. She was determined to put in the same effort Sylvira had when it came to apologies, _saying sorry don't mean we're wrong. Just means the relationship's more important than our ego._ Something she realized during her shooting that as of recently Lavellan had been setting aside her pride willingly for the two to work through their differences and settle arguments where they both had come to an understanding, without sacrificing or compromising who they are.

Most of the time, anyways. Things couldn't have been going any better, and it honest to Maker surprised the rogue that things were going the way they were, as if everything was falling together to make one big beautiful puzzle. Her lips spread in a proud grin, though her expression fell and her heart sank the moment she opened her door, _the hell?_ Sylvira had a haunted look in her eyes, as if she had been _scared_ of something until it was forcefully composed and locked away upon seeing Sera. "Syl?"

"Hey cookie," _fake smile, she seriously thinks she can fool me now?_ The archer ensured her gaze remained glued to the citron orbs as she closed the door and walked to the mage, though she also paid attention to the quivering papers in Lavellan's hand. _She ain't making it float no more, wonder why?_ "Feeling better now?"

"Mm~mm, make some room for me will ya?" Her eyebrow rose when the dalish woman placed the papers face down along the window sill and eagerly shifted her legs to make a small hole for Sera to fit in. As she settled down the rogue glanced at the papers again, "Y'almost done reading whatever it is you were lookin' like a fish at?"

"A fish?" The musical chuckles rumbled through her body and Sera instantly melted in the embrace when arms wrapped around her, _like it just fits, 'nother piece of the puzzle._ "Aye almost done, we'll get to do something together soon." _Finally, we haven't played Wicked Grace in a while, or prank. Maybe a food fight?_ "Just a little bit of history on Orlais' civil war, among some… Things Celene has done. Good and bad."

"What kinda bad?" Another chuckle, and the archer chewed on the corner of her lip. Part of her wanted to confront the mage directly and ask what was wrong, and the other part warned her she'd get nothing out of it. _These are the games Syl likes, but I hate. Hurts my head._

"I can't tell you," _course not, nothing comes that easily with you._ "I'm supposed to be saving the Empress after all, not painting a sign that says 'arrows here please!'" _We find someone not so bad, then they won't be so dead. But if Syl says arrows then..._

"Well if it's **that** bad then maybe she deserves 'em." A slight inhale, _and it's bugging her, whatever it is._ Sera gave up on the tricks and game without another spare thought or doubt, "Tell me whatcha read Syl, what's wrong? You looked ready to shit your breeches off when I came in."

"Nothing escapes you," Sylvira mumbled and craned her neck so that her face was buried in the crook of the rogue's, _shit I'm tryna talk seriously and she just teases like it's nothing._ "You know me all too well." _Huh?_

"Yer saying that like it's a problem again." _What's with this switch?_ A squeeze of the arms, the hands that smoothed over hers and brought to her chest seemed to have meant something, but Sera couldn't deduce the meaning in the action.

"I want you to promise me something, Sera." _The fuck?_ The archer couldn't get a look at Lavellan's face when she tried to move and see, only to be met with the messy golden hair tickling her nose as the rim of the glasses poked her neck. She nodded, and Sylvira let out a shaky breath, "Promise me you'll always keep me humble, remind me who I am."

"What?" She didn't understand the random request whatsoever, "Syl I don't-"

"Just promise it. You always do it," a tender kiss to the side of her neck and the glasses poked underneath her jaw instead, her stomach hummed pleasantly though she tried to ignore the tingles. "Call me loser, perv, stupid. Remind me that I'm Sylvira Lavellan, not Inquisitor Lavellan." _I don't get any of this, fuck why's she gotta make my head hurt all the time?_ "Please, love. If you can't then just say so but-"

"I promise, Syl. I don't get it, but I promise it alright?" Sera inched and shuffled around until she sat on her knees then turned in the embrace, her eyebrows furrowed with worry upon seeing the conflicted look in the citron orbs that _should_ have been dancing carefree like they almost always did. The mage's shoulders were tense with some sort of burden Sera didn't know, possibly even couldn't ever know, but that wasn't what mattered at the moment. She pushed the glasses up and smoothed away the bangs, giving a chaste kiss to the forehead before staring into the depths of the gaze that no longer skittered around as it used to, as if uncomfortable with what she may have seen.

 _Coz she trusts me with her, trusts me with what I do see._ "You'll always be Syl to me," the archer intentionally cradled the bandaged hand and rose it to her chest, her lips flickered in a smirk upon seeing the flash of desire though repressed the urge to chuckle. _We're both tryna be serious here and all we can ever think 'bout is tearing off clothes._ As Lavellan's eyes trailed up to meet hers Sera grinned reassuringly and rested their foreheads together, tilting her chin down to avoid being poked by the glasses.

"Yours, no matter what?"

"Mm. You'll always be my Loser no matter what happens, luv."


	24. Emotion Walks In, Logic Walks Out

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 11-13-2015

 **AN:** An extra long chappy to make up for only the two released this week, and this weekend's booked so I don't think I'll have something up until maybe Tuesday next week. That, plus I just got carried away in general with Syl lol. On to the rambling news! For those who've read this from Unbreakable's update you can skip [if people don't already skip this anyways] because it's the same thing. First things first, I don't know if you guys have seen the picture (I see it every year) it's a drawing of the clown SAW guy and underneath it the caption says "you have 4 weeks to save the semester. Let the games begin." Yeah that's how it's like for me now :P I also have to pick up extra hours from both jobs so I'm gonna be putting out this little 'warning' in each update for the chapters, just as a heads up in case if I'm really lagging behind on them. I'm still hoping to trek out the minimum 2 every week though, in any case it's just a heads up in case if all my work lags back half a month to a whole month.

 **Tumblr/Poll:** Out of curiosity I set up a poll in my profile of who's your most fav Inquisitor out of all the stories I've written thus far, I figured 3 out 5 choices was a fair number with Éclair added in the mix. As for tumblr, I'll be honest when it comes to social media networking I am an ultra n00b (there's just no time and thankfully I don't need the networking). I've  never used tumblr before lol, but I figured I'd set one up with the sole purpose of sharing my writing. I'm still on the fence about posting old chapters because I use libre office rather than MS word so uploading files doesn't work, and when I copy and paste well… All the italics and bold is gone. It reminds me of the days where I'd have to sit an extra 2 hours editing the draft if fanfiction decided to bold and italicize my whole chapter lol.

 ** **Asks/Prompts:**** In any case! Long blabbing short, what I liked most about the whole 'tumblr' idea was the "ask" bit, I figured if you had a prompt in which you'd like me to write something for you then you're more than welcome to ask. Any pairing, any race/class/etc, there's absolutely no restrictions (yet anyways). I set up anonymous asks too in case if it's a NSFW prompt lol. If it's something you think you might be interested in asking to see what I come up with, the tumblr is lance-trance (the .com bit doesn't work properly, it's also in my profile). In any case this is more than enough rambling, ****on to the story, enjoy!****

 **Vocabulary**

 _[French] Ma Mère et mon Père sont morts à nouveau:_ [My] Mother and [my] Father died again (those who speak french feel free to correct me if this is wrong)

* * *

 **Emotion Walks In, Logic Walks Out**

* * *

"Come on," Sylvira tugged on the archer's wrist after she carefully hid the dossiers underneath the pillows, _now I'm about to lose sensitive information._ _At least it's much easier and faster to read with my glasses on._ "I've got something I want to try with you." That peaked Sera's interest and her eyebrow rose, her eyes a touch darker, _mm, plenty of time for what I'd_ ** _really_** _like to try with you later._

"That flippy thing?" _Flippy thing?_ The mage stopped and stared with a bewildered expression before clicking in, _oh~ right I totally forgot about that._

"Nah, too much work."

"Y'just don't want people to see you falling on yer face you lazy arse." _You'd shout for them all to look I bet._

"That too!" Lavellan's lips spread in a cheeky grin and the archer rolled her eyes, "You know me inside and out, love." Just as they moved to leave, they jumped back and yelped in surprise when they opened the door only to reveal Cole standing there. _What the…?_

"What the fuck Creepy?!" Sera gritted her teeth and her eyes flashed angrily, the mage's heart beat erratically as her mind suddenly conjured all sorts of reasons why he of all people would show up out of nowhere, and now. "Don't you-" and her gut feeling was right as soon as Cole spoke, her heart sank to the pits of her stomach in angst.

"Crying, calling for you. Ma Mère et mon Père sont morts à nouveau," _fuck._ "Dying again and I can't stop it," _no,_ "I can only watch and it's my fault." _No._ "Run Uvun, run and find-" _n_ _o, fuck, no, no,_ ** _no_** _._ Right away Sylvira brushed past the pale spirit and took off sprinting with the archer hot on her heels, _I'm a fucking tool!_

"Oi, Syl what's wrong?!" They rushed up the stairs and the tall woman's throat constricted, a thick lump lodged inside her neck. _I knew this would happen some day, I knew and yet I didn't do anything to address it._ Her thighs burned as she ran for the door leading to the battlements, ignoring Sera worriedly shouting out behind her, "Syl! What the fuck is It talking about?!" _Foolish, stupid, I was a fucking idiot to think it'd never_ _haunt_ _them._ Palms scraping stone walls and wooden doors, in her panicked state she accidentally crashed into them in her haste to reach the children as quickly as possible. _I should have asked Cole to erase their memories,_ frustration welled up in her when her glasses bounced around, she ripped them off and tightly clutched them in her hand despite the creaks and protests. _I should have talked to them about it!_ Lungs aching for air and begging for mercy, Sylvira slammed open another door and ignored Cullen's surprised look as she stormed across the office, _almost there, hold on!_

Whipping past the patrols, both relief and dread made her stomach churn as she got closer to the kids' quarters. She had no plan nor any idea what to do and this irritated her greatly, but whim guided her and she trusted her instincts. Just as her hand reached for the door handle she froze, her heart was set to explode at the sounds of crying and anger clouded her mind before it even had a chance to shut off. Without another spare thought she tumbled into the room, Uvun's head snapped up and her eyes had watered at the sobbing messy state Grâce was, _I should have been there for them._ The mage's eyebrows furrowed and her own eyes stung in response, she quickly slipped her glasses back on in a futile attempt to blur any tears that gathered and strode to the orlesian girl wailing on the ground for her parents.

 _I should have fixed my mistakes, I should have been more careful,_ she knelt down and her hand smoothed along Grâce's back to which the girl immediately shot up and tackled her in a crushing embrace, _I should have never-for fuck's sake!_ Her temper flared and the world rapidly grew misty, she tucked one arm under Grâce's rear end and wrapped another around her lower back, lifting her and turning around only to glare frustratedly when she saw Cole and Sera standing at the doorway. "Erase her memories Cole, make me her mother if you have to," the mage choked out in desperation and her judgment muddled by powerful emotions she hadn't been used to dealing with-for they always switched off by now. The archer's eyes widened and she stepped forward, her expression contorted into one of anger though before she had the chance to speak, Sylvira shouted though her hoarse voice cracked halfway through, "Erase them! That's an order!"

"But… It was you who told me it is not always good to forget, for pain makes us stronger. To know hardship is part of being human." _Fuck sake,_ _she doesn't need to remember and re-live her fucking parents' deaths!_ _She thinks it's her fucking fault when it's mine!_ She grit her teeth when the spirit seemed at a loss of what to do and it hadn't helped when Sera threatened him not to listen to Lavellan's command. The dalish woman brushed past them and back outside on the battlements in hopes fresh air would help calm Grâce, her temper teetered upon feeling the tears soak through her scarf and shoulder, the child's powerful and harsh sobs rumbled through her body. _I should have been smarter, better, more attentive. If I hadn't fucked up, if I paid attention to all the details that slapped me in the face, this would have never happened._

At a loss of what to say, all she could do was bury her face in the crook of the girl's neck, one hand wove through the finely-brushed chestnut hair, the braid loosened and fell apart. "It's okay," she rasped out, and chastised herself ruthlessly at that, _it's obviously not okay, why would I say something so fucking stupid?_ "Shh, I'm here," she squeezed her eyes shut as tightly as possible. With each round of the girl's sobs that rocked her to the core, tears threatened to break the dam and eradicate all self control. She noticed patrols watching in her peripheral vision and damned all the useless onlookers who didn't care enough to come help, she couldn't care less about her appearance right now. "It's not your fault Grâce, blame me because it's mine." A hand reached over her other shoulder and she didn't need to look to see, she recognized the skin pigment well enough to know Sera had been the one soothingly scratching and petting Grâce's head. "You were brave, you still are."

 _I don't know what to say. Fucking surprise huh?_ Uvun tugged on the mage's breeches and she looked over, the young dalish girl had a haunted look of her own, _hearing about Grâce's nightmare more than likely forced her to recall on her own traumatic memories._ _What the_ _hell_ _do I do?_ She chewed on the corner of her lip until it bled, there was nothing one could do in a situation like this except ride out the restless waves until all energy was spent. She hugged tighter, frustrated with her inability and incompetence, her lack of control and absence of any plan -even an inadequate one- to at least try to make it all better rivaled the bitter emotions churning within her.

As soon as Sera's hand fell from the tangled tresses of the orlesian girl's hair, the rogue moved closer and wrapped her arms around Lavellan below Grâce's legs when the child hooked them around the waist. The simple action nearly tore the mage apart, and she pressed her face harder into Grâce's neck as she breathed without thinking, " _Fuck._ " A sharp inhale, and she fixed herself when she felt a face press between her shoulder blades, " _Shit_ sorry, and sorry for that one too." _Nothing but a bad influence, useless, troublesome._ She noticed Cole move in her peripheral vision and her citron orbs immediately snapped to his, he seemed hesitant and she bit back a sigh, _leave, Cole. There is nothing that can be done._ Her heart sagged and her ears twitched at the faint whisper, the pale rogue disappeared into the shadows soon after and she buried her face back in the crook of Grâce's neck and shoulder. _He's wrong,_ _I'm not all that they need. What they need is for this to have never have happened in the first place._

A small sigh slipped past her chapped lips as she lifted her head, there were far too many onlookers and no doubt there would be a vast amount of rumors spread over this scene, it will spur some sort of scandal soon enough-especially with her glasses on her face. "Let's go to my chambers," _a chance to see if Gatsi's done, or I'll just kick him out._ "You guys can bounce on the bed. Does that sound good?" Relief welled up in her when she felt just the slightest bit of a nod against her shoulder and the side of her hip, where Uvun clutched in a close embrace. Had it not been an emotionally trying ordeal, she might have laughed when she felt Sera's face rub up and down in between her shoulder blades.

As she glanced over her shoulder and down at her loyal partner, her lips naturally pulled in a tiny smile as she teased, "I meant the kiddos, not you." The archer playfully stuck her tongue out to tease and somehow, a chuckle bubbled deep in Lavellan's chest. She'd relish this for the moment, _no doubt as soon as we're alone she'll more than likely bring up how I foolishly asked Cole to erase_ _Grâce_ _and Uvun's memories, it's frightening to look back on it now and realize how easily logic is overcome by emotion._ "Alright then, let's go," she adjusted her grip on the orlesian girl and wove her hand through the chestnut hair again, giving Grâce's head a gentle push against her shoulders, "Take a nap." She hoped the forced cheery tone hadn't been too blatantly fake to the children, "You'll need all the energy you can get so that you can jump for hours."

 _She's getting really fucking heavy now too, shit._ Hoping nobody would notice or -even worse- freak out the young girl she held, Sylvira focused on manipulating Grâce's weight of gravity with her magic so it wouldn't be as difficult to carry her. Her heart swelled and threatened to melt when Sera suddenly tapped Uvun's shoulder then knelt down, the dalish girl immediately got the hint and couldn't help but grin in excitement as she hastily climbed the archer's shoulders. _Fuck._ Sylvira hastily looked away, though she'd never admit it openly even she couldn't deny her weakness to cute things, _the day Sera actually does wear a mabari costume with cute dog ears is the same day I die of_ _my heart imploding._ _I still have to make it happen somehow, I'd die happy without any regrets at least._ Glancing over out of worry, she relaxed when she watched Sera hook her arms around Uvun's thighs and stand without any issues, a massive proud grin on her face as she looked at the mage. _Fuck…_

Averting her gaze once again, Lavellan took the liberty of simultaneously easing Uvun's weight so as not to strain the archer's shoulders as they descended the stairs to the lower courtyard, adding another layer of pressure on her mind and at the bridge of her nose. _I'll have to be careful not to sustain it for too long before I nose bleed all over and freak the kiddos out,_ she dismissed the nosy onlookers they passed by, several hadn't even bothered to hide their blatant staring nor their whispering rumors. _At least this is the ideal opportunity to see how much I've improved with my magic, though the time I levitated Sera's fat ass helped determine how much is too much._ _I forgot to tell her she needs to lose some weight, she's certainly gained quite a bit._ She ignored the gossip as they wove through the crowd and braced herself for the treacherous stairs, readjusting her grip on the child clinging to her and glancing over to ensure Uvun was still safe, _she's certainly happy, being up so high. Always complains that I'm too tall._

Each step made her feel like she wanted to die, what with all the sprinting she just did. Exercise was something she should have probably done, _so I don't die just looking at all the steep hills in the Forbidden Oasis,_ but there was always something more pressing that required her attention. _Okay that's an excuse,_ she huffed and sucked in deep breaths but hadn't meant to, her lips flickered in a grin when she felt tiny giggles buzzing at the crook of her neck and arms that squeezed around her shoulders tighter. "Find this funny, do you?" Sylvira lilted, she noticed Uvun's concerned expression swiftly change into one of happiness upon hearing Grâce's laugh while the mage intentionally wheezed comically. Sera rolled her eyes and shook her head as she muttered something under her breath, Lavellan shot a cheeky grin as she teased, "I may be a loser, but you're a dork." _My dork._

"What?" The archer's eyes snapped to hers, "Nuh uh. You're a loser **and** a dork."

"Too late, I already called you dork therefore by the rules of allotting nicknames it is yours only on all accounts. Congratulations!"

"Rules?!" _It's always so much fun to fluster her,_ "There ain't no damn rules, I can smell the bull-" both their eyes widened and the rogue thankfully cut herself off then covered up her mistake with a groan as she looked at the arch they had to pass. _Way_ _too close. Does it really matter though?_ "Oi," Sera looked up at Uvun, "Hold on to me real tight, gonna have to bend a little so y'don't knock yer head." _I mean I already swore quite a few times…_ _Especially when I was running away from the demonized horde back when all the kids were together,_ a shudder at that thought, Lavellan waited directly behind the archer just in case if she lost her footing as she squatted to walk. _Creators,_ Sylvira's eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets just seeing the leggings hug the thighs working in seamless synchrony, _just how fucking strong are her legs?_ She derailed herself from that line of thought the moment it took a rather inappropriate turn.

 _Told her it's her fault when I said I'm not always horny, she's just always sexy._ She hadn't realized that she was grumbling under her breath, a sulky frown on her face that earned a knowing grin from Sera who waggled her eyebrows playfully as soon as she passed the arch, _uh huh. Fucking tease, as always._ Following the rogue's lead and remaining close behind as they climb the next set of murderous stairs, they enter the main keep and brace themselves for the last two staircases, _I'm starting to regret this._ Eyes snapped to them as if they walked in with painted targets on their faces, nobles flocked closer in eavesdropping distance in hopes to have something juicy to gossip about, _they're like flies on shit._ _Looks like it's going to be a field day for Josephine today. Me too, when she starts harassing me over appearances and politics._

Another sullen expression swept across her features unrelated to the archer, her muscles itched and she'd so dearly wanted to command people to mind their own business, _as if that_ _would_ _ever work._ For once, she hated being in the spotlight when her ears picked up more whispers about her new glasses rather than the fact she was carrying a child-literally of course. _Or hope that's what they mean, me_ _pregnant-_ a shudder- _right, best not to think about it._ She still felt self-conscious about the glasses, anywhere you went, any flaw whether physical, emotional or  especially mental had been greatly looked down upon, for nobody understood what it was and therefore deemed it as some sort of superstitious curse. Often times the _fucking stupidity_ would be so great, these _curses_ would be considered contagious too, _like the idiots in Master's kitchen._

More ruthless pebbles dropped down on her mind and her heart sank once again, she shook her head and forced a fake smile when she noticed Sera worriedly glance over her shoulder. The archer's eyebrows knitted together and her gaze lingered for a few moments before she shrugged, saying nothing as they made it to the door leading to the Inquisitor's chambers. _She knows it's fake as well, I should know by now I can't fool her._ _Well I could, but I trust her now,_ and at that her mood changed swiftly like the wind once again. With one arm under Grâce's bum, she reached for the door handle and held the door open as Sera maneuvered cautiously once again. Uvun's giggles bounced off the walls and was like music to their ears, refreshing and distracting them from the _wealth of shit-a new currency_ that often plagued her guardians.

 _Guardian_ ** _s_** _,_ Lavellan stole a look at the archer when Sera held the door open with her foot as the mage passed by, _I would have never thought that Sera of all people would actually willingly help out with stuff like this._ Her gaze flickered up at Uvun on the rogue's shoulders then back at the staircase, grumbling comically when she noticed Grâce had gone quiet with the occasional sniffling. _But then again, I don't think she thought the same for me. It's intriguing to see what specific circumstances show and teach you about someone._ Her mood swings had become more fickle, the pressure in her mind and nose even heavier despite the consistent distraction. She could feel something at the bridge of her nose and mentally let out a hail of curses as she pushed herself to climb the stairs faster, her thighs begged for mercy, _shut up and deal with it. I can do this,_ her lungs ached and she was easily out of breath, she tried not to think about the last and final set residing in her quarters, _too late, huh?_ She had to release the magic soon, and the chuckles behind her began to aggravate her instead, _definitely not a good sign._ "Hurry," she tried to sound stern, but the breathless wheeze in her tone made it sound like she was a dying goat, _right. Just what authority and stern sounds like._

"Outta shape Syl," just as Lavellan's pride was about to lash out with a heated retort, she bit down on her tongue. "Need more _romantic_ jogs," a strained chuckle slipped past the dalish woman's lips at that, she nodded in hopes Sera could somehow tell she was as they climbed the stairs and was grateful for the extra bounce of her lopsided ponytail. "Just sayin' now, yer on your own. I'm just fine."

"Yes, yes you are," her mouth worked without her brain and she clenched her teeth for a brief moment, she dearly hoped the children wouldn't catch on to such a shameless flirt, _they're too young for girlfriends or boyfriends_. She pressed harder, faster - _fuck that's still wrong_ \- and hastily readjusted her grip on Grâce as she opened the door for Sera to squat and walk under. _Uvun's clearly enjoying herself,_ a small part of Sylvira wished she was significantly shorter so that she could be carried, _and that way I'd be the right height for Sera._ She repressed a sigh and shook her head at herself, _what is with my mind being lodged in the gutter today?_ Instead she smirked at Sera's proud grin over the compliment, "How come if my head gets big it's bad, but if it's you it's alright?" The archer scoffed at that and helped her pass through the door, it was the final stretch and out of desperation she had to try, "Don't suppose you can walk the last set of steps kiddos?"

Naturally, Uvun sported a sweet grin that clearly screamed _I don't fucking think so_ and even Grâce lifted her head, a small smile that seemed to hint the same. "Alright, alright I get it." _You've gotta be fucking kidding me…_ There was no choice, with the headache settled in she had to release her hold on gravity lest her nose bleed all over the place, she gave a slight grunt when the orlesian girl's weight dropped significantly. Her arms strained to hold on and she noticed Sera's confused look as she glanced up at Uvun, though shrugged and climbed the stairs without any issues, _not fair! What the fuck did I even do all that for if it's still easy for her?!_

Gritting her teeth, she took one step at a time and adjusted her grip so that her right arm rested under the orlesian girl's bum as her left braced along the wall. Sweat collected at her brow and the one small bead that trickled down the side of her face irritated her to no end, slowly sliding as if it wanted to taunt her on purpose. _I wish I knew ice magic, freeze it in it's fucking spot. Or fire, evaporate it. Or you know, have a free hand so I could wipe it_ _the hell_ _off…_ Grumbles and grunts spilled from her lips and she glared at the two who wore blatantly amused grins at the top of the staircase, _it's like they're rubbing it in they're there and I'm here. Fucking sore winners._ "Almost there," the wheeze wasn't intentional and Grâce giggled into her neck again, her fingers scraped along the stone wall and she winced when a particularly jagged spot bumped into her bandaged palm. The sting traveled up her forearm and felt hypersensitive, she had to bite on her tongue so as not to curse and abruptly stopped before she let the girl in her arms slip through.

 _Fuck,_ she gave a slight shake of her head when she saw the archer's concerned look, the headache pounded behind her eyes and she wanted nothing more than to lay on her bed. _If Gatsi's in here and actually does have to blow something up, I'm_ _sticking him with the dynamite._ A quick glance at her left arm as she reached to grab the posts of the railing, _it's starting to tingle, I have at least an hour before I need to reapply the nullification enchantment._ As soon as she finally made it up the stairs she collapsed on her knees, Grâce immediately clambered off and Sera knelt to let Uvun join the orlesian girl as the two sprinted for the bouncy bed. It would have been endearing to watch, though Lavellan's mind was preoccupied as she tried to calm herself enough to shut off and ignore the pain. It never did any good if it came on suddenly and caught her off guard, leaving her no time to mentally prepare herself. She fervently shook her head when she saw the rogue's hand heading for her left shoulder, Sera frowned as her hand fell and instead she squeezed the right.

"Yer eyes flashed for a sec, that blue stuff." _Fuck, less than an hour then._ "Your book, I can grab it if y'tell me where it is." _I left it here,_ _it would be easier to kick Gatsi out then to try and run out of Sera's room to find a spot_ _._ Chewing on the corner of her lip, Sylvira tried to formulate a plan of some sort despite the fog that blanketed her mind, she quietly rose and ignored the quivering in her shaky thighs as she strode to her table with the archer lingering behind. _I can't do this in front of the kids, and there may not be time to walk to the mage's tower. Plus my legs are beat, I'll probably trip down the stairs and die._ She rubbed her temples with one hand and let out a small sigh as she fumbled with her drawer, her eyes glanced at the large 'do not enter' sign where Gatsi worked to build her other invention.

 _If he's not in_ _side_ _I can go there, ask Sera to distract the kids so they don't hear_ _the incantation._ Relief filled her when the children yelled loudly with excitement, and the corners of her lips curled in a small sad smile upon seeing the remnants of the haunted look still in their eyes, _yet they're trying to cheer up. Kids are probably the strongest of us all,_ _for they have no choice but to deal with the shit life hands them and yet they still manage to make the best of it._ "Syl?"

"Huh?" Her head snapped to the archer who waited at the corner of her table, concern and uncertainty swirled in the razor sharp slits. "Oh, right." She fumbled and pulled at the drawers until she found the tome, she smoothed her palm along the cover then gestured to the room with her head, "I'll do it in there," _that sounds wrong._ Both of them couldn't help but smirk for a second before it disappeared, swallowed by the seriousness of _their_ current predicament, _no matter what, our minds automatically take it dirty first._ "Think you can keep the kiddos distracted for two minutes?" Their eyes fell on the children currently jumping on the bed before back to each other, Sylvira let out a small chuckle as she brushed past the confident rogue with a pat on the shoulder, "It's harder than it looks, trust me. Once they climb off the bed, you're screwed."

 _Especially_ _once_ _they leave, then you're definitely screwed._

Rapping her knuckles along the door in light knocks, no answer came and her eyebrow rose in confusion, _Gatsi's not here, but shouldn't he be working?_ With a quick glance over her shoulder, she waited until Sera made the kids face away and the mage entered the room as swiftly as possible when opportunity presented itself. She spun on her heel and quietly closed the door, her tome tucked between her arm and rib as one hand held the handle while the other gently pushed to ensure it wouldn't slam shut. "Alright, let's get this shit done and over with." As she turned around she almost dropped the tome, her eyes nearly bulged out of their sockets, her jaw slackened, and her heart leaped to her throat. _No… Way…_ A dream come true, something right for once. Standing before her very eyes was the glorious contraption she worked tirelessly to plan and draw, every detail included in the schematics replicated  perfectly. _Where the fuck is Gatsi?!_ Her heart beat erratically and she was torn between applying the enchantment, inspecting the flawless creation, or running out to find and kiss the foreman.

Unfortunately another wave of tingles shot down her arm and she clenched her jaw, _this always acts up at the worst fucking times, so annoying._ She hastily flipped through the pages until she found the passage, rushing through the incantation and zipping through the lengthy words with practiced skill and eagerness to get it done and over with. She braced herself as a flood of pain coursed through her arm before it dissipated, the headaches eased and the pressure that sat at the base of her nose gradually faded away. As soon as she felt the familiar pulsations battling at her palm she ripped open the door and tossed the tome on a nearby drawer, she moved as if she was the wind that swept across the room and immediately earned everybody's attention.

Then she disappeared back in the room just as swiftly, her judgment all but swallowed by her own excitement. As soon as she strode forward to the large stone buckets attached to the wall like extension, a variety of knocks belonging to more than one person rang out and she hesitated for a moment, _do I really want the kids to see this?_ Her lips naturally spread in a grin and she nodded fervently, _fuck yes,_ _yes_ _I do. This beats everything I've ever come up with,_ "Come in, get in here and see this!" She spun on her heel theatrically and extended her arms as the door opened, "I present to you the best and most brilliant invention **ever**!"

To say her bewildered audience was mind-boggled was an understatement, their jaws slackened and even the kids' eyebrows rose as they furiously tried to understand what it was that stood before them. "Look, look, let me demonstrate!" Her energy had been contagious, though the others had absolutely no clue what was happening the children giggled anyways and Sera had her hands on her hips, an amused smirk on her face that practically shouted how big of a loser the mage was. _Not a loser_ _but_ _a winner, the_ _most brilliant_ _winner_ _of them all_ _._ She was pleased that every single detail in the schematics had been followed religiously, the measurements exact, the height ideal for her, _and not a single dynamite was needed. Magic and enchantments are truly a wonderful thing,_ at that she remembered to kiss Dagna and Harritt as well, for they had to work together to create and enchant nearly everything that had been assembled together by Gatsi.

First she patted the massive barrel in the corner situated on top of a small stone furnace-the design inspired by the bathhouse her and Sera visited in Val Royeaux. The barrel itself had been similar to one you would see in a brewery and enchanted so that it's contents would be kept mildly warm, the lid at the top was where water would enter to refill the barrel. "This holds water," she pointed down at the stone furnace, excited to explain how everything was _supposed_ to work in theory, _won't know for sure until I try._ "By adding logs and starting a fire, the steam rises through little cracks and grooves of the stonework to boil the water at a comfortable temperature, and the stone is strong enough to hold the barrel." She slid her palm along a metal pipe that had been carefully attached to the side of the barrel, she could feel the magic pulsating beneath her touch and the familiar sensations pricked her skin, _marvelous, absolutely well done. They're all getting fat fucking coin purses for this as a bonus._ "This pipe is enchanted with gravity-altering magic similar to mine, it pushes the water," she trailed along and tapped the top stone bucket secured to the wall, "It fills this up here, and the enchantment ensures it never overfills or-"

"Syl slow down a sec," Sera interjected and momentarily dampened the mage's enthusiasm, "We don't even have a frigging clue what this is supposed to do."

"That's what I'm explaining," Lavellan whined with slight annoyance, _she stopped me from being badass only to ask me to be badass._

"Right well," the archer smirked and her hands fell on the tops of Uvun and Grâce's heads, the two children looked utterly clueless though their eyes shone with just as much as excitement. "Can'tcha tell us the short version? Y'know instead of telling us what one little knobby does, then another little knobby, and then that tiny dent nobody sees, and-"

"Alright, alright," Sylvira rose her hands in mock-surrender and sighed, "Way to make me feel like a loser..."

"Coz you are."

Ignoring the playful jab, she fixed her posture and straightened out as she proudly tapped the top stone bucket with her hand and the bottom with her foot, "We can wash like this." She couldn't help herself as she reached for the dangling chain, pulling on it and pointing underneath the top bucket where a small bit protruded, _so that the water_ _swirls down here and through the tiny punctured holes._ "This chain lifts a gate-like lid that stops the water from pouring into the bucket, and then-"

" **Syl**."

"Right, just watch then," she waited with bated breath and her citron orbs shone bright, her lips a massive lopsided grin as she heard water travel through. If all worked as well as it should, the water that fell into the bottom stone bucket -also secured to the wall so that it'd never be moved- would continue through the pipe on the side. The enchantments engraved in the pipe not only boiled to cleanse the water, but also pushed it back at the bottom of the barrel where it would be further heated from the furnace. _I'll get to experiment with all sorts of th_ _ing_ _s now, but first I'll have to see if the water really can be reused or if I'll have to drain and change it._ As the water poured through the punctured holes of the top bucket her grin grew, she assumed her stance before as she extended her arms to present her glorious idea, "See?! We'll never have to travel for hours and wash in a cold lake ever again!"

At that the children finally understood and cheered, they rushed to the bottom bucket to see for themselves on how it all worked, "Big Sis is a genius right?" She knelt and reached inside, she hadn't cared that her sleeve got soaked as she pointed and explained to the kids more intricate details that they hadn't even bothered listening to. "But~ this is a secret between us only, alright? If anybody else finds out about this then everybody is going to want to wash here," relief welled up in her when Uvun and Grâce nodded fervently, she stood and turned to Sera who still wore the same teasing smirk that easily betrayed her thoughts. "Why are you still looking at me like I'm a loser~" she whined then strode forward only to circle around the archer, arms wrapped around her waist as she mumbled sulkily in Sera's neck. "Praise me~"

"Never seen you so excited before," the rogue teased, one arm reached up and wrapped around Lavellan's nape. _But you aren't…?_

"If I wasn't the Inquisitor then I'd rather be an inventor. Or a business woman," at that an idea struck her, "Maybe people should know about this? I could charge a fee," her lips spread in a grin at Sera's huff, "But then we'd never get to use it, everybody would line up for this don't you think?"

"Mm." _She seems conflicted with this, why?_

"Such a tough critic," she planted a chaste kiss to the side of the archer's neck and reveled in sudden stiffening, "You'll change your mind once you step in there and wash. Just think about it now," she'd been oh so tempted to plead for the kids to leave as her imagination flourished, she mumbled low enough so they wouldn't hear, "Warm water cascading down your bare back. Hands gliding along your stomach and-"

"I'm on to you," the rogue rasped out, _it's scary how fast she can figure me out._ "There even enough room for the both of us?" Sylvira's lips spread in a smile against the pale throat, her bottom lip scratched against the kerchief and she'd been oh so tempted to leave yet another mark.

"Who do you think you're talking to?"

A slight chuckle, Sera tilted her head up to look at her, "You seriously measured that too." It'd been more of a factual statement rather than a question, and she giggled when the dalish woman nodded, "Loser..." The archer looked back down and Lavellan lifted her head, observing the side of the face as she tried to figure out the issue. _I thought she'd be happy with this,_ her eyebrows furrowed at Sera's sigh, "I dunno, Syl."

"Don't know about what?" As Uvun and Grâce played with their hands rubbing along the bottom of the stone bucket and giggling when sprayed from the top, Sylvira intertwined her hand with the rogue's and pulled her to exit the small room and out of earshot. As she turned, she tried not to let disappointment and irritation seep into her expression or tone at the thought of _yet another thing gone wrong despite my best efforts._ "What's the matter now?" She searched Sera's eyes for answers when the archer shrugged and sighed again, "Isn't this a good thing?"

"That's what I dunno 'bout," _huh? I don't understand, how is it_ _ **not**_ _a good thing?_ "I mean, it's a bit much innit? It don't feel right for me. Normal people are lucky if they get to wash in an ice cold lake, they're lucky to worry 'bout freezing their tits off. S'all fine and such coz it's you, and you-" _I see._

"I made this and 'normal people' helped me, they helped me make it happen. As soon as this war is over perhaps I can make more for normal people too, or distribute the schematics at the very least." She squeezed the archer's hand, _another reason why emotions are bothersome._ Seeing how her persuasion didn't have much effect she went for the next best thing to sway Sera: a terrible joke. "It's not wrong-well it kinda is but it'd be stupid not to take advantage of your girlfriend. Especially her brains. And her free shower with a bonus naughty service included, the perfect package." _One_ _of those things will work, I already know which._

" _You_ have brains?" Sera teased and Lavellan pouted in mock hurt, _and it fucking sucks to know that this will always be the first one she goes for._ The rogue grinned and patted her cheek, "Alright, alright, I'll see what the big fuss is all 'bout when the runts cheer up and leave." She reached up and readjusted the scarf, her fingers plucked the rim and her eyes glued to the damp spot from where Grâce cried. "Hey..." She started reluctantly and Sylvira only watched as she braced herself to be chewed out, "Y'think they'll be okay, remembering?" _What? Is she implying what I think she's implying?_ A blink, two blinks, the dalish woman pushed her glasses further up as she pondered on her answer, she didn't have the slightest clue and shrugged. _I definitely didn't expect this from her either._

"They won't be okay either way, it's not something one can be okay with period, I think. Regardless of what happens, I don't think what I suggested Cole to do is the right decision." She'd been surprised to see that Sera was uncertain and hesitant, _usually anything involving Cole is an automatic no after all, even if it were_ _something_ _she'd normally agree with._ "All the suffering and sacrifices up to this point would have been for naught, and living an illusion is even worse." Reaching up, she trailed the veins and little ridges along the back of the archer's hands then smoothed down the forearms. The bandaged hand caught against the sleeve that hadn't been folded and instead she moved closer to frame Sera's face as she murmured softly, "I've never seen you like this before." _She always surprises me,_ "You're really protective of them." _F_ _irst the cookies and now this,_ "I'd never think that you would care this much." _Most_ _people_ _would shift eyes and contemplate running away with_ _all my_ _baggage,_ _that's not even including the kids._

"Show me someone who wouldn't after seeing 'em cry like that," the rogue retorted, _uh, all the patrols that scratched their nuts and the nobles who'd rather use their lips to flap instead of fucking off?_ Sera's hands and gaze fell as she finished softly, "'Specially knowing what they been through." Her voice quivered for a moment, "All I did was watch," and now the mage was utterly confused as to what was going on. _It's deviating from the main point,_ _I'm guessing this is something she bottled up then?_ "I ran away while you and them had a fucking shitty time, and then later one died." _Börisk..._ "If I didn't-"

"Stop." Sylvira brushed her thumb along the archer's bottom lip then gently rose her chin higher, the fact that Sera didn't want to meet her eyes was a telling sign. A small sigh, her lips naturally quirked upwards upon hearing the muffled giggles and water splashing in the bathroom, _they're so totally playing in the_ _shower_ _. They're gonna leave a trail of water everywhere._ Coming back to the grim reality she stared at the razor sharp slits that avoided her and she smiled reassuringly, "You're not a 'what if' person and you're not supposed to mope about the past, remember? It's not your fault. I don't understand why everybody is blaming themselves when it's my fault."

At that Sera's eyes snapped to hers, "It's not your fault either Syl. At least you tried to do something 'bout it." _For unrelated issue_ _s_ _to which_ _people_ _who had nothing to do with it died because of my mistake_ _s_ _._ It wasn't a debate she was willing to head into, especially when it hadn't been necessary if it yielded nothing but more angst even when she knew it was 'part of the job'. _And it's not the first time my decisions have led to the deaths who have had nothing to do with it at all. They just died just because_ _they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, it's bullshit_ _._ Another thing she hadn't want to confess nor allow the archer to see, if Sera had known half of the results of her plans or what she decided on, she'd more than likely be thrown to the fire.

Just thinking that reminded her of what she so far read on the dossier of Celene, and it frightened her when she made the connection of just how similar the two are: the inescapable reality and burden of power, the decision making and it's consequences left to the head on the throne, the dangers of rivals and rumors. The worst were the things she's had to do behind her lover's back, for she had sacrificed more than her fair share of the 'normal people' for the greater good when there was no other way around it. _I_ _t's not right, having to choose who dies just because the second or third group would have more casualties than the first._ She remained silent for too long and the rogue's eyebrows knitted in worry as she gently urged, "Syl. It ain't yer fault, we both know bad shite happens all the time." _And most of the time I'm at the center of it_ _if I'm not the cause. Right, enough of this already.  
_

"You're right, so we should stop bumming ourselves out and focus on grabbing the good when it happens." _There's no logical point or reason to mull on such dreary topics, we gain nothing if we remain in this state_ _._ Thankfully Sera nodded and the atmosphere felt a little lighter, it seemed easier to breathe despite the weight on Lavellan's mind and shoulders. "You know it best, love. It won't do any of us any good if we dwell on what's done," another nod from the archer, though she herself hadn't been convinced by her own words and it aggravated her. _Feelings are_ _troublesome_ _, why can't they agree with what I want them to agree with already?_

"So... What now then?" _A distraction is in order._

"We let them play in the water and cause all the havoc they want for the night. Mayhem and flattening me into a pancake glued to the floor is unfortunately their favorite way to cheer up." She shuddered, the utter horror she felt just at thinking about morphing into food was indescribably terrifying. Sera grinned mercilessly and patted her cheek, the mage huffed, "Don't even think about leaving me alone now. You're going to be squished with me too."

"Hell no," the archer brushed past her in a desperate attempt for a quick getaway until Lavellan grabbed her wrist and roughly pulled her, hugging her as tightly as possible from behind. "Let go Syl! I did enough didn't I?!"

"Nope. You volunteered to help, now you're being voluntold to die with me. No one gets left behind, love."

"I don't give a shit, die by yourself!" _That sad moment where_ _you know_ _if someone eavesdropped on us freaking out like this they'd laugh. But this is seriously is a life or death matter_ _when you're dealing with evil demonshifters_ _disguised as innocent children_ _._ _Lies, I tell you._ As Sera struggled to break free, the dalish woman pulled her inch by inch towards the bed. "Let go, stupid!" She used her height to her advantage when she roughly yanked on the rogue and sat down, wrapping both her arms and legs around to create what would normally be considered a protective cocoon… But became more of a desperate wrestling move to ensure the archer couldn't squeeze out anywhere or beat the shit out of her. _I may be taller, but she's stronger._ Her legs crossed in an X over Sera's and she hooked her ankles as she gave as tight a bear hug she could, waiting until the rogue spent all her energy thrashing around and cursing. A warning growl and the mage's lips curled into a smirk in response, _love it when she gets like this,_ " **Syl**!"

 _S_ _he's getting feisty_ _._ _I like._ She bent her neck and shifted away just in time to avoid the attempted head butt into her nose, she nipped the tip of Sera's ear and whispered huskily, "Submit to me, love. I swear I'll make it worth your night." Another nibble, her gaze had been trained on the door though by the sounds of the children squealing with glee she was certain the two were safe. The risk of being caught made her heart beat faster and her blood boil, _it's not like it's naughty. We're hugging and kissing, Sera's the one who has to watch it with her swearing._ The shudder that rolled through the archer made the pits of her stomach stir with excitement and she contemplated on what to do, _I'm only damning the both of us like this, we can't go all the way here and it feels wrong_ _when_ _Grâce_ _is hurting_ _._ And so she stilled and braced herself for the disappointment, this was one of the only things she dreaded when it came to kids-apart from the flattening of course. A sigh slipped past her lips and she rested her forehead on Sera's shoulder, who stopped struggling and glanced over, _this sucks._ _F_ _uck feelings and morals_ _._ She reluctantly eased her hold and stretched out her legs as she murmured, "Go on. I'll see you later tonight or tomorrow morning, think I'll sleep with the kiddos here in case if Grâce has another nightmare."

"That ain't fair Syl," the archer whined and Sylvira lifted her head, she readjusted her glasses and her eyebrow rose in confusion, _huh, what's not fair? I thought she didn't want to stay._ "Now yer just makin' me feel guilty." _I'm lost. Will I ever get this shit?_

"Uh, what? That wasn't my intention," the mage scooted closer and craned her neck more to look down, in the back of her mind pride danced around and cheered when she watched how the shorter elf conformed to her body, how Sera's head casually rested on her chest as she gazed back up. All of these little details continued to add up and made her heart swell, but she had to remain focused. "It won't do us any good if we're both battered and broken after all, and I don't want to force you to stay if you don't want to."

"I do." _Okay. Ya.  
_

"Now I can smell shit from your breath." Both chuckled at that and Lavellan nearly pounced on the rogue right then and there when Sera smoothed her palms over the back of the mage's hands, _now she's damning the both of us. Lust-addled wild elves with children right on the other side of that door in front of us. Fuck._ Fingertips skimmed along the length of her slender fingers and the light touch tested her restraint, the simple action made the pleasurable sensations feel stronger and her imagination went haywire at the faint sounds of the water splashing. _I seriously need to stop thinking about her naked,_ _how am I supposed to get_ _ **anything**_ _done if she's always fucking tempting me like this? I swear she's a desire demon._ In an attempt to derail her thoughts from the touching she whispered though it sounded more like a croak, "Why'd you change your mind?"

"How can't I when y'got the kicked puppy eyes and the broody look?" _That's_ _seriously_ _all it took? Handy, I'll definitely have to remember this._ The moment Sera turned around and straddled her lap, the dalish woman was sure she would be shouting for the kids to get out, _doesn't she get what the fuck this is doing_ _to me?!_ Unfortunately -or fortunately depending on one's perspective- it hadn't seemed as though the archer clued in, and for some odd reason Lavellan had been obsessing over their height differences once again. And then she saw it, that mischievous glint in the razor sharp slits despite the face that remained innocent, _oh hoh~ what's dis? You doing this on purpose, I see._

Not one to back down, Sylvira shuffled until the rogue slid off her lap then folded her legs beneath her, she reached and grabbed Sera's waist then pulled so that the archer rested on her thighs. "Syl," the rasp whisper was tampering with their control, _can we seriously stop being hormonal and start being adults?_ At least she knew she wasn't the only one conflicted and struggling, the tension and frustration rapidly escalated and their predicament worsened with each move they made towards each other. Sera hooked an arm around her neck and rose on her knees, the mage's hands slid down to her _fucking magnificent ass_ and the _bosom_ thrust in her face. There was something wildly captivating with the rogue hovering over her and she shifted her folded legs until she sank lower, both their eyes glazed now that it had been Sylvira who had to look up for once. She craned her neck back and reached in hopes to kiss until Sera leaned away as she sighed, "We can't."

"We can," Lavellan corrected, "We **shouldn't**." _Fuck I feel like a shit for all of this but at the same time this feels so fucking good._ As the archer settled back on her thighs she couldn't help but plant a kiss below the kerchief, she'd been so tantalizingly close to Sera's breasts and the sharp inhale alone sent jolts of tingly sparks thrumming up and down her spine. "You're driving me insane, love."

"That's what yer doin' to _me,_ " the rogue hissed back under her breath and Sylvira couldn't help but grin smugly, _one kiss and she's got it just as bad as me. I'm_ _ **good**_ _._

"If we're going to stop you need to get off me," her hands slid down and cupped underneath Sera's thighs, she manipulated the archer's weight to lift her and straighten her own legs out as she scooted back to the edge of the bed. "Well we need to stop before we push our luck any further and the kiddos come out to see something that'll scar them for life. They have enough scars." _Now would be a really great fucking time if feelings would agree with what I want them to fucking agree with. This is borderline torture right now._ To say they were disappointed was an understatement and they lingered at the edge of the bed, their eyes wandering around and their minds undressing each other. "Sera," Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed, "I can't do this alone, and we really shouldn't. Like **really** shouldn't."

"I know that," the archer bit back, as the magic released Sylvira couldn't hold and instead Sera rose on her knees again, her eyes danced with pure mischief. _Fuck she's_ _ **so**_ _doing this on purpose,_ the mage's mind was going haywire and she wrapped her arms around the Sera's lower back, yelping when calloused hands slid behind her nape and pushed her towards the rogue's chest. Her eyes widened with surprise and tingles shot down her back when the hands slid from her neck to weave in her hair and scratch, she nearly groaned when the archer seductively purred in her ear, "Now I know yer weakness too, Syl." _**Fuck**_ _._ She'd been torn in between pulling Sera back when she casually hopped off -with a massive triumphant grin of course- or to stop being a degenerate- "Perv," _yeah that._

"You are too. How can I **not** with the shit you do to me?" Sylvira wiped her face upwards and her hands raked her hair back in one fluid motion, she rose with a sigh as she tried not to damn the presence of the kids, _this is their room just as much as mine._ She smirked when the archer still wore her victory grin and chuckled, "It's all your fault, dork." _There's quite a bit of water leaking under the door, that doesn't seem to be a good sign._

"No it's not. And you're the dork, Loser." _And_ _way_ _too much giggling. What are they even up to in there?  
_

"Nope, I'm your loser, and you're my dork." Lavellan strode for the door and shrugged nonchalantly, "That's how it works." _This always flusters her, I love it._

"Says who?!" Sera huffed and threw her arms up in the air when the mage had that familiar glint in her eye as she flashed a charming grin, "Shut u-"

"The Inquisitor?" She chuckled when the rogue groaned then opened the door, instantly petrified in her spot at the wild scene before her. Uvun had been in the bucket with her clothes totally soaked and judging by the small little pool she'd blocked the pipe with her leg where the water was supposed to drain. Both kids froze as if they were halla stuck in an arrow's path, and Grâce had tried to seek shelter of what looked to be a bombardment of water splashing at her by lining up the logs that were meant to be used for the furnace. "Uh… Well that's one way of taking a shower, I guess..." _This explains quite a bit now,_ she looked down at her feet as her boots plopped and splashed the little puddle, _at least it's not on the carpet. Yet_. Then she looked at the top bucket, the water had been trickling at this point and she was nearly torn apart into two when she realized a terrible flaw in her design.

 _The pipe that's supposed to pump water up there is_ _situated_ _in the middle of the barrel,_ her gaze fell to what little she could see of Uvun's feet, _if the water level doesn't reach it, how is it going to pump? I should have implemented a level to crank for the bottom of the barrel to push the water up higher, or something..._ It had been a simple fix of just keeping the barrel full of water at all times, but she had a feeling more situations like these will happen, _looks like I'll have to drain and fill it up again anyways._ Noticing how nervous the children looked she shrugged and grinned, "You two having fun?" A hesitant nod from Uvun, Grâce still seemed frozen in her tracks, _I'm going to have to give the servant who cleans in here a raise, she's not going to like scrubbing stone and battling mold._ "Next time if you have a water fight at least invite me too, and don't go near the furnace under the barrel alright? It's dangerous there."

 _Perhaps I can think of something to help make_ _cleaning_ _easier? Being the Inquisitor fucking rocks now, unlimited resources to create and craft whatever I want._ As the archer came up behind her back to see the commotion she snickered and Lavellan swung her hand behind to tap hers, their fingers instinctively intertwining as the mage stepped back into her room, "Come on. Let's see if I can find you some spare clothes-actually wait," when Uvun stepped out of the bucket Sylvira's eyes bulged at the water pouring out of her breeches and the squishing of her shoes. _Shoes?_ Upon closer inspection she noticed they looked similar in style to Sera's and her heart swelled with warmth, _fuck too cute. I'm not surprised though, heh. I wonder when she did this?_ "Uhh stay in here so you don't flood my carpet," the kids giggled at that and the mage grinned, "I'll find you some linen to dry off too, tell me all about the shower after!"

"Seriously Syl? The carpet?" The archer rolled her eyes and smirked when Lavellan squeezed her hand as she dragged her along to the drawer, "Didjya forget? I threw everyth-" as soon as the first shelf opened they stared blankly, "Well then." _I'm_ _glad_ _that requisition_ _order_ _came as fast as it did but..._

"Shit. I thought I told Josie like 2 or 3 outfits," closing the first and opening the second, they both chuckled at the overwhelming abundance of clothes. "What the fuck is this? She looks like she's trying to suit up an entire army." She couldn't help but tease and released her hand just in case if the archer would try to crush it in retaliation, "You'll have a field day with this the next time I piss you off." _That reminds me, I'll have to try and remember_ _to_ _ask Josie for an update on the instrument. I should have it in what,_ _2_ _weeks I think now right?_ As she plucked the neatly folded clothes and shook them apart to see the length of the shirts she nudged Sera, "Love, can you grab the dry linen from the wash basin and give it to the runts, please?"

"Uh..." _Huh?_ Sylvira rose her head and looked at the rogue who seemed stumped before she nodded and moved, "Uh yeah, sure." _What… Was that all about?_ With a shrug she resumed her search, satisfied to see that many of the shirts were comfortable cotton ones and pleasantly surprised when she found a few red ones as well. _A keen eye, she's probably seen the one I gave to Sera and saw it as an opportunity to stop her from wearing the ones with mustard stains._ Her lips curled into a soft smile, ages ago she would butt heads with her advisors and now they're slowly warming up to each other with small jokes and little favors like this.

 _I wonder why? What's changed for them to be more amiable towards me when I've always been a jerk to them?_ A shrug, _maybe it's like Sera, they just_ _felt_ _like it. Just oops! No reason at all,_ a breathless chuckle slipped past her lips as she stretched out a shirt to see how long it was, _as annoying as it is, it's not so bad._ With two long shirts draped over her arm she set off for the bathroom, giving a few light knocks until she creaked it open just a touch to squeeze her arm through and hand the shirts out without looking. _Don't wanna intrude their privacy, especially if they've bad memories of that shit thanks to fucking Tao. Wish I kept him alive just to hear him cry every day, rotting in the cells._ "They should be long enough to go to your knees, I'll help you fold the sleeves after you dress up. We'll dry your wet clothes by the fire." Sera approached her with the dry linen and the mage reached out to take them hooking under her arm and squeezing it through the door until she felt the kids take them. "Big Sis and Icky-Kisses-"

" _ **Oi**_."

"Will wait out here if you have any trouble," she left the door open just a crack as she stood guard then shouted over her shoulder when she heard shuffling, "Just don't change near the furnace or on puddles so you don't slip." She heard unhappy grumbles inside and chuckled, "Just lookin' out for you troublemakers." As her head turned to face front she'd been caught off guard when the archer suddenly pulled her down by her scarf and drew her in for a tender kiss, "Mamph thaph Imph co-" Sera parted and laughed, the warm air that rushed against the mage's lips and the rich laughter made her stomach buzz.

"Y'just can't stop talking even if we're suckin' face, loser. Nothing shuts you up," she rolled her eyes when Lavellan flashed her usual charming grin, "The heck were you tryin' to say?"

"Not that I'm complaining," a quick chaste kiss to the corner of the rogue's mouth as she pulled back, the citron orbs danced with both amusement and excitement, "But what's this for?" As soon as she saw the flash of mischief in Sera's eyes and the way the plump lips curled in a cheshire-like grin, her expression immediately fell flat in response.

"Just felt like it."

"Uh huh."

"Really. It's that _simple_." _Nope, not taking the bait anymore._

"Sure. I believe you. So what did I do so I can make you kiss me like that again?"

A wry chuckle, "You always get kisses anyways, loser." Sera wrapped the ends of the scarf around her wrist and pulled down, her other hand slid up to push the mage's glasses back and tucked long locks behind her ear, the lopsided ponytail was wildly disheveled and may as well have been undone. _I don't understand, she seems different._ _How?_ Lavellan silently watched and greedily enjoyed the pleasurable sensations from light touches as the rogue fixed random things that hadn't even mattered to either of them, she seemed more focused on cleaning and fixing the scarf most of all. _Is something bothering her? I can't tell._ Her eyebrows knitted together as she tried to solve the mystery before her, the problem with it being difficult to gauge Sera's actions, reactions, behavior or just about anything in general was that it often happened at the most random times, where there couldn't be any connections or correlations made.

"Got that serious look on yer face luv, don't blow up yer brain overthinkin' it." A pat on the cheek, Sera tugged the scarf down to make the tall woman bend a little more then planted a kiss on her forehead before she drew back, the brown-green orbs shone vibrantly and in that moment Sylvira was lost in them as she tried to determine what color they were now. The specks inside reflected the lighting and often times they'd appear blue, but then be a totally different color if the archer was elsewhere. Blue, brown, green, gray, yellow, _isn't this what they call hazel eyes? I've never seen them before, I'll have to see if I have any tome_ _s in the mage's tower or library but I doubt it._ _Not exactly a selling topic, I would think._ "Why ya lookin' at me with a scrunchy look, luv?"

"Trying to figure out what to call all the colors in your eyes," she murmured absent-mindlessly, her focus honed in and determined to find the answer until Sera leaned back and laughed, her eyes closing out of reflex. "Don't close them, I'm seriously trying to figure it out!"

"Uh, didn't know they had lots of colors. Some people say blue, others brown, who cares?" _I do._ "Just call it rainbow then, weirdo."

"You don't have purple or red though. Well red sort of, if you're really pissed the hell off," just before she could step forward and peer closer, knocks resounded behind her. _Aww why couldn't they have taken at least an extra minute? This is gonna bug me all d_ _ay until I know or forget._ She reluctantly opened the door and grinned at the damp kids, her heart swelled with warmth seeing them trek around in her shirts. She reached down and helped take some of the drenched clothing in her hands, "Come on let's put these suckers near the fire and then I'll dry your hair." She expected her carpet would still sport water stains and she restrained a sigh as she looked at it sadly, Sera gave her a harsh elbow nudge and she pouted, _but I worked really hard to buy this carpet… It's my first expensive shit, and it feels nice walking on it barefoot.  
_

With a shake of her head to rid such overwhelmingly depressing thoughts that her precious and loyal carpet was being abused, she strode to the fire and carefully laid the clothes some distance away so they wouldn't burn. She went back to the bathroom to collect the semi-dry linen and turned around only to find the kids were bouncing on the bed again, "Hey, hey, lemme dry your hair first before you jump!" They instantly fell on their bums and scooted to the edge of the bed, and Sylvira climbed over until she hovered behind them to rub their heads as fiercely as possible. The muffled giggles rang out and hands swatted her away, as soon as she was done she focused her magic to her hands and ruffled their hair to air dry the rest. When she turned around to ask Sera if she could find the hair brush she paused, _it's that same_ _stumped look again, what the fuck?_ Instead she patted the spot next to her and tossed the towel over, "Keep drying Grâce's hair while I find the brush, love." As she scooted off the bed she brushed past the archer and whispered in her ear, "You alright? You're really out of it today."

"Yeah, just… Yeah I'm good. More than good," it was unmistakably clear that she did sound happy, but Lavellan still couldn't figure out why. _Something related to the kids, but pertains to me or so I'm assuming since she didn't see them in the bathroom. So what am I doing that's making her look like that?_ As she went to her table and opened the drawers until she found her hair brush, her eyebrow rose in confusion, _am I doing something bad? Wrong? But then she'd say something so I'd either stop or make it better. So… It's good…?_ _Fuck this is the part where I wish I had Cole's mind reading ability. Only temporary though, he probably gets massive headaches listening to Sera's thoughts, I'd bet all my coin that half her vocabulary is cursing or 'arrows' if she stands beside him._ _Something to ask later if I remember._

Finding the brush in the last drawer, she ripped out the golden strands stuck inside and levitated them until they flew outside on the balcony, she approached the two and knelt in front of them while the archer gently rubbed Grâce's head with the towel. "Who wants to brush their hair first?" Uvun immediately snatched it out of her hands before she even realized what was going on and the mage stared in awe, _really quick hands like Sera. Shit_ _I'm really gonna have to watch myself from now on._

"I brush Grâce's hair," the dalish girl stated proudly and she shooed the rogue to the side, both Sera and Sylvira gaped slack jawed as Uvun handled the long chestnut hair as if it was treasure. "I braid it too, right Grâce?" The orlesian girl nodded shyly and Lavellan rose as she averted her gaze, any more of this and she was sure her heart would swell until it burst. _Two opposite personalities, two opposite worlds, yet still the best of friends that bring out the best in each other. And worst,_ _fucking_ _evil munchkins._ She strode back to her table to clean up her mess and give the girls their breathing space, _no need to loom over them every second. Freedom_ _is the gift_ _I want to give them,_ _with guidance so I know they're heading the right way_ _._ As Sera approached her she grinned and tapped the drawer before she closed it, the archer stole a peek and smirked when she saw the bottle of rum. _I know what we haven't done in a really long time._

"Wicked Grace later?" Sylvira whispered under her breath so that Uvun wouldn't be able to hear, "Stakes are clothes." Her eyes flashed with delight upon seeing her lover's lips curl into a devilish smirk, her mind already hard at work in picking off _bothersome and unnecessary_ clothes, _she only needs to wear her skin._ And then her enthusiasm had been stomped, squished, grind until it was dust and blown away to scatter to the wind as soon as Sera thumbed over her shoulder towards the kids that also sported mischievous smiles-a sorry attempt to try and look sweet as they waited patiently on the bed. _Oh no. No, no, no… I'm well aware of what those looks mean._

"Sure, but we gotta survive them first."

 _Our deaths._

* * *

" _Out,_ " Lavellan managed to croak out in a tiny hoarse voice, she'd been successfully glued to the floor after two hours of being jumped on. **Nonstop**. One of those hours amounted to her running around trying not to be captured or taken down until Uvun used the bouncy springiness of the bed to launch off and leap on to her back, effectively taking her down with a combined assault of Grâce kicking behind her knees-courtesy of Sera advising them that's how they can make tall trees fall down. _I'm not even a person anymore, I'm a fucking walking tree._ **Timber~** was a word that now haunted her and she was sure it'd be in her nightmares tonight, with each breath she took her lungs cried and her ribs felt like they've been crushed. Even lifting her head just that slightest bit made her stomach and neck muscles beg for mercy, she was sure she was in a near death state and needed a concoction to save her life. The children giggled at her frail command and -naturally- they hadn't listened, instead they hovered over her with their hands on their knees while one poked her cheek with a stick. "Where did you even get that stick?"

"We made the tree go timber and the branches snapped off," Uvun replied cheekily, until Sera came into view and stared upside down at the dying mage with an amused smirk. Her hands were on her hips and she chewed on her bottom lip so as not to laugh, the moment the kids screamed pancake Sera sold the dalish woman out in a heart beat and aided their efforts to capture the tall tree. "And Icky-Kisses found it for us."

"Aye, I believe it now." Even moving her jaw that slightest bit shot painful tingles along it and she was **positive** it was misaligned, or something. Something was broken in her body, **had** to be, or it felt like it anyways. Another poke of her sore cheek by the rough bark and she pouted as she mumbled sulkily, "Big Sis is too tired to play, go away."

"Aww~ c'mon," both girls simultaneously pleaded as sweetly as possible, but one would have had to been completely blind to have missed the evil glint shining bright in their not-so-innocent eyes.

"No, no c'mon. C'moff. Go away." Another poke and the mage glared when Sera clamped her hand over her mouth, an arm wrapped around her midriff in a futile attempt to stifle giggles she clearly hadn't actually cared to stop. Lavellan huffed, "Jerks." As battered and abused as she was, she still couldn't help but smile as far as her mouth let her -though seemed more like a crooked smirk- when Uvun and Grâce giggled like mad. Not just any type of tee hee haw haw mad… But mad like villains who felt absolutely no remorse or sympathy. "Evil, you two could scare off demons." Another series of giggles and slowly she propped herself up by her elbows, wincing and cringing along the way when her stomach felt more like a floppy fish rather than raring to get up, all her muscles submitted to inevitable doom and made peace with their death.

Shifting her bottom jaw side to side to ensure it was still in working order, she tried again as sternly as possible, "Go on. You two slept through breakfast and skipped lunch. You at least need to eat dinner today." Both their expressions contorted into sullen frowns and their jaws dropped to protest but the mage shook her head firmly, she immediately regretted the agonizing action soon after. "Nope. No ifs ands or buts, you **need** to eat. Do I need to ask Josephine to watch you?" At that both kids shook their heads fervently as they paled, "That's what I thought."

"That's not fair," Uvun started, "How come we have to learn table manners but you don't?"

"Yeah!" Grâce whined as her eyebrows furrowed, and Sylvira averted her gaze before she exploded. _These two are too much for me, they're going to be the death of me someday I just know it._ "You skipped too, you need to eat."

"I already did when you weren't looking," _total bullshit, I hope they can't smell it like Sera does._ "Anyways," she derailed before the tension escalated and slowly inched her way higher, pushing with her arms until she'd been able to fully sit up. _I know what will make them go._ "I heard Blackwall's been carving and he should be at dinner too, why don't you go see if he's made you some new toys?" _I don't actually know if he is but whatever!_ At that she grinned when her plan worked flawlessly and as expected, both the children exchanged looks before they hastily rushed over the bed to change back in their normal clothes. "Careful!" _Ugh shit,_ she tried to stand up, "Don't change by the fire!"

 _They never listen when they're excited, fuck._ Thankfully Sera helped her up then strode over swiftly, grabbing the rest of their clothes and throwing it on the bed to force the excited kids to dive on there instead. A sigh of relief slipped past her lips and she smiled gratefully at the archer who nodded then shrugged, indicating it wasn't a problem. Within minutes the clothes flew around haphazardly and the children rushed out, their giggles echoing and bouncing off the walls of the tower. "Creators," Lavellan murmured then chuckled as she scanned the damage in her room, "It's like a fucking tornado rolled through here. Josie's gonna give me an earful for destroying this place again."

"As usual," the rogue grinned and gathered the clothes on the bed then tossed it to the floor, away from the fire, "There even better. This place looks too weird all bare and sparkly like a baby's bottom."

"Glad to know my bad influence is doing a marvelous job encouraging my bad habits, I knew there's more reasons on why I love you."

"Mm," the archer's lips spread in a devilish smirk and she circled around Sylvira like a predator, _oh hoh?_ "You're the bigger bad influence." _What's dis~?_ Sera gave a light shove, then kept shoving the mage towards her table, "Sit in yer chair." _I like._

"So you admit I'm the bigger badass of us two?" _Whatever she's got in mind is definitely good._

"Hah! No." _Damn._ "In yer dreams." _Worth a try._ "Rum's in the first drawer right?"

"Mm-mm," as the rogue searched for the rum, Lavellan fished in her pockets and was eternally grateful when she found her pipe still surprisingly intact-unlike the rest of her. "Don't suppose you've got matches by any chance?" She grunted as she leaned forward, _the elfroot's in Sera's room but I'm sure I've got some sitting here somewhere._ As she reached for the opposite drawer her hand was slapped away and she looked up at Sera, eyebrow risen in confusion, "Uh… But I wanna smoke."

"Not that," Sera teased, "Yer acting like a bleedin' granny." _I fucking feel like one._ "I owe ya for saving me," _more like you threw me into the fire but this way it sounds like I'm a hero and that you owe me. Twice over now._ "So lemme," the archer's lips spread in a cheshire grin and her hooded eyes flashed mischievously, "Show you what sorts of _services_ I've got." _I like. I definitely like._ "Sit back and relax Syl," little tingles ran along her neck when Sera leaned forward to murmur suggestively in her ear, the hot puffs of air tickled and teased her to no end. "Enjoy the show." _A show? A fucking show?_

"I believe in the sweet fucking Maker now," Lavellan blurted and grinned when she earned a throaty laugh from the woman before her. She relaxed back into the chair and watched like a hawk, her eyes soaked in every single detail of the rogue's curves when she turned around to search the drawers. _I'll never get enough of this, I'm addicted to her like fucking lyrium or something. She's my high and my crash._

"Matches in my thigh pouch, you were lookin' for that shite you put in the pipe right?"

"Uh huh..." Sylvira hadn't really been paying attention for her gaze was glued to _the fucking magnificent ass_ swaying in front of her, her eyes flickered to said pouch and she pondered if that was permission to reach and grab the matches. Instead she leaned back into the chair even more, _she said enjoy the show after all._ The archer snickered and turned back around with the small package and tossed it over, she reached for the rum bottle then searched for a glass.

"D'ya got the bucket of ice outside on the balcony?"

"Yeah, think so. Not sure actually," the mage got to work with compressing the crushed elfroot into the bowl of her pipe, hearing the clinking of ice cubes hitting the glass and curses over the cold. She rose her voice so Sera could hear her and she quietly chuckled to herself, "I take it you found it?"

"Yeah," the rogue grumbled, "Fucking cold enough to freeze my tits right off." She came back from the balcony and rattled the glass with the cubes inside, the clanging was like music to their ears and they both grinned wolfishly. _Tonight ought to be interesting. After we head to bed I'll try that one thing again, but do it differently this time._ The glass slid along the table and Sera reached into her pouch, taking a match out and effortlessly striking it against the box to light it. She shook her head when Lavellan reached for it, "Ain't listening Syl. All you gotta do is enjoy the show, lemme do everything." _**Everything**?_ The dalish woman nodded and relaxed in her chair as she tucked the pipe in the corner of her mouth, eager to see exactly what it was that Sera had in mind. It took a couple of tries but eventually the archer got the hang of it, circling the match around the bowl and watching when Sylvira took small draws. She shook the match to extinguish the flame then flicked it out on the balcony, she turned around again as she poured the rum in the glass.

 _Fuck…_ The tension of the slow build up had been playing with the mage's head, both knew **exactly** where it was going and yet Sera acted casual, pretending as if she had no clue what was happening. _Or at least I think she's pretending. There's no way she doesn't know what this is doing to me if she said 'enjoy the show' right?_ Another slight rattle of the glass as the cubes floated around, drowned in rum. The rogue turned around with a devilish smirk and eyes that dared Lavellan to come and get it, her other hand grabbed the whole bottle for herself as she nonchalantly settled down on the dalish woman's thighs. _**Fuck**._ Composure was already such a fickle thing, she had to catch herself from dropping her pipe and tilted her head away to blow out the smoke. "Gettin' hot and bothered, _Your Worship?_ Sure don't take much." _I'll remember these words, you'll regret this.  
_

"Fucking tease," Sylvira croaked out, _she's the only one that makes it difficult for me to speak._ She'd been about to say just that until her gaze fell when she noticed the laces of the shirt had been loosened enough to give a small peek of the red bra underneath, a lump gradually grew in her throat and her hips instinctively shifted just the slightest bit. " _Fuck,_ " she hissed under her breath and her eyes snapped up to the ones that swirled with pride, amusement and desire, "You're torturing me on purpose." _Definitely a desire demon._ _At least this one can't possess me, well she does in a sense._ _Possessive as fuck, demons ain't got nothing on her._

"I did say enjoy the show," the rogue retorted, she took a few gulps of rum and winced at the strong burn traveling down her throat, just the smell of rum and the sight of the pale neck rippling was enough for the fog to cloud Lavellan's mind. A content sigh and Sera wiped her chin as she rotated her torso to rest the bottle on the table, she turned and rose the glass with glazed eyes as she whispered huskily, "Your turn." Her voice had been a lower pitch and it sent a jolt of heat through Sylvira's spine until it promptly ended up at the pits of her stomach. _My turn? Already turned on._ She plucked the pipe from her mouth as the archer positioned the glass against her bottom lip, tilting ever so slowly so as not to spill. The rum trickled in and Lavellan savored the flavor she so dearly missed on her **own** tongue, _was weird with Dorian's. Not that I actually remember what that was like._ And then the glass tilted more until she'd ended up downing the entire rum, the ice cubes bumped her nose and both women chuckled as the rogue leaned back to refill it. It was then Sylvira felt the way Sera hooked her ankles around the mage's legs, her eyes fell to the way the shirt clung to the toned abdomen that moved seamlessly as it worked to keep the archer where she was.

 _What I'd give to run my hands and tongue all over her body right now…_ She was well aware that this was part of a game, or at least she hoped she'd be rewarded for listening to such a difficult order. Nonetheless it was definitely intriguing for Sera to be dominant and demanding, especially like this. "So… Does this mean no Wicked Grace?" Lavellan grinned at the hoarse laugh, she all too willingly accepted the glass pressed to her lips and drank the rum graciously given to her. Another refill, another drink, and she could feel the slightest buzz tinge the edges of her consciousness as her stomach buzzed in kind, but with need.

"Think y'had 'nough wickedness from the kid," Sera quipped, her hooded eyes flashed with want and the mage had been desperately trying to ignore the urges to push her on to the table. A shiver rolled through the archer and instantly Sylvira unwrapped her scarf then twirled it around Sera's neck, she adjusted and fluffed it until it covered the entirety of the pale throat she so dearly wished to mark. _Helps both of us this way, otherwise I'll lose._ As soon as her gaze met the rogue's she averted it, the way the piercing eyes stared with the bottom lip covered by the scarf made heat pool at her thighs. _I'm losing it even faster now, fuck my life._ When Sera adjusted herself on the dalish woman's lap, Lavellan gulped upon feeling the warm center press against her thigh and tried to distract herself when she noticed the flicker of pleasure in the archer's eyes, _are you fucking kidding me? How does she expect me to sit here and just_ _ **watch**_ _all this?_ As soon as the glass of rum appeared she stole it when the rogue shifted again, control was rapidly slipping away and neither could stall any longer.

Straddled on one thigh, Sera wove her fingers into the bountiful golden locks as she grind her hips against the mage's lap, groaning in Sylvira's mouth at the tingles crawling along her spine from the friction. Both pipe and eyeglasses were tossed abruptly and clattered on the desk, the half-lidded citron eyes clouded with lust and Lavellan's one hand gripped the archer's hip, the other swirling the rum in the glass. Their lips danced slowly, the smacking sounds as they released only to crash together again resounded in the heavy silence draping the room, the bustling sounds of activity in Skyhold droned out in the background noise of adrenaline and building desire. Their breaths reeked of alcohol and they fed off each other, making each other dizzy and drunk with every kiss, every time their tongues took turns exploring in the other's mouth. The archer groaned when the smoke-laced tongue ran along the roof of her mouth, she'd gradually grown accustomed to the taste and the fact she'd associated it with none other than Sylvira made the ache between her thighs borderline painful.

Clangs in the glass, the rogue glanced to the side and smirked when Lavellan rose and shook the ice cubes in the rum, the two shared a smug and heated look. The dalish woman carefully tilted the glass against Sera's lips and then her own as they finished the rest, her arm falling and abandoning it on the floor without a care as the ice cubes spill on the carpet. The rum disappeared down their throats and the archer descended once again, grinding her hips as she pulls Sylvira harder, their synchronized lips melding in a sensual dance. Every fiber of her being felt alive when she felt the delicate hands sneak under her shirt and ghost along her sides, shivering when she'd felt fingertips lightly skim random shapes along her spine, the other a stark contrast as it roughly knead her breast over the thick fabric of her bra. Within an instant Sera leaned back much to the mage's dismay and hastily stripped both shirt and scarf, unclasping the bra and shooting a warning look when Lavellan seemed as though she was going to protest. "No teasing Syl," she murmured huskily, "No games. Fuck me." _Feisty. **Love it.**_

"As you wish milady, which service shall you be employing today?"

"Shut up and-"

"Andraste paid for our sins, it's time to get our sovereign's worth." _The look on her face is priceless,_ _well if it's what she believes I can roll with it as long as she doesn't try to convert me or whatever._

"Oh my fucking-just get to work, loser." The dalish woman chuckled and nodded as she leaned forward, gently stroking her thumb across the taut nipple as she paid loving attention to the other breast with her mouth. Little sparks crawled along from where Sylvira touched and Sera's eyebrows furrowed, she'd gripped the golden hair a little higher and jerked slightly, the mage thankfully got the hint and released her hold on the breast with a resounding pop as their lips met once again. Her hands fell from Lavellan's head and on to the shoulders, she gently pushed away to stand then quickly stripped both her breeches and underclothes in one fell swoop. _Does she just fucking practice stripping_ _as fast as possible_ _or what?_

"Eager are we?" Sylvira grinned as her hand reached out and teasingly stroked the inner thighs, the rogue growled and pushed her into the chair by the shoulders as she straddled the lap once again. Her eyebrows knitted together and a low moan bubbled in the back of her throat when she'd felt the same hand part her slick folds, circling and simultaneously pressing into her clit with the knuckle of the thumb. A slight jerk, Sera squeezed the mage's shoulders and bit down on her tongue to prevent the moan from reaching Lavellan's ears, only to grunt inside the woman's mouth when she'd felt the fingertips move oh _so_ close in her before they went back to stroke circles.

 _Just wait. I'll make you scream my name._

"Syl," Sera tried to whisper menacingly, "I said no fuckin' teasing." She rested her forehead on the mage's shoulder and breathed heavily when she'd felt the fingertips dip in only to be abruptly pulled out again, " **Syl**!"

"It'll feel better this way, the orgasm," the woman retorted in the usual scientific tone, "The denial-"

"I don't give a shit," _that would certainly make things slightly awkward if you did right now._ "Just fuck me already," Sera reached down and searched for Sylvira's hand, positioning herself and guiding the fingers inside her. " _Fuck_ ," she inhaled sharply and she could _hear_ the mage's grin of satisfaction but could no longer care, she sought out more and grind against the heel of palm pressed against her.

"Riding my hand, imagined this too you know," _and reality is definitely better than dreams._ The archer rolled her eyes in response, "Every bit hot as I knew it would be."

"You an' yer weird arse fantasies, you-" Sera let out a choked gasp when Lavellan roughly nipped and suckled on her throat, she dropped and pushed herself in an effort for the hand buried inside her to somehow make it deeper. Her hands squeezed in reflex and her lips parted as a low moan involuntarily escaped her, the pressure within her steadily built as the fingertips raked along the front of the velvet wall. Electricity burrowed into her spine as it shot up and down, her muscles crawled and fluttered as she felt a delicate hand cup her chin, gingerly pushing her head away.

Hot breaths puffed at her ears and canines grazed her ear lobe, both their minds were reeling from both the haze of alcohol and desire. Sera's thighs flexed as she inched up and eased down, she barely retained enough sense to pay acute attention where Sylvira's fingers were so that she wouldn't accidentally hurt the mage. Groans bubbled in their chests and soon the archer wanted more than the mouth latched on her throat or the fingers burrowed deep within, she wanted to be skin to skin. Enough was enough, she couldn't play nice and wait forever so she tugged at the bottom rim of the dalish woman's shirt, "Off." She noticed the hesitant look in Lavellan's eyes and framed her face, "I've seen you naked plenty of times before, ain't fair if I'm the only one."

 _Yeah but…_ The mage averted her gaze and her eyebrows furrowed while she retracted her hand, _what if you-_ "I won't touch if y'don't want it luv, but I wanna feel **you** against me. I ain't makin' love with yer frigging shirt." At that Sylvira's heart beat faster, harder, she tried not to let it show on her face and nodded in acknowledgment, _make love? Not 'sex', not 'fuck me' but…_ The words made her feel odd inside, fuzzy almost, and she tried not to laugh so as not to ruin the mood as the rogue scooted back for room, _that doesn't make any sense. Did this ever make sense though?_ Her fingers plucked at the edge of her shirt and her gaze was glued to the sheen coating on the two digits, sometimes it still felt surreal that she'd get to do this with Sera.

 _This. Make **love.**_ Sensing her hesitance, the archer gently pushed her hands away and grabbed the rim, "Arms up." The shirt flew off without a chance to protest or even mentally prepare herself, but the glazed look in Sera's eyes made it all worth it. _A woman, a person. That's what I am to her._ When the hazel eyes - _I'm calling them hazel anyways_ \- dipped lower the rogue grinned wolfishly, the carnal lust evident when she leaned down and stole a kiss above the vibrant green lace bra. She tensed instantly and her head shot up with an apologetic look as soon as the mage hissed, "Shit, sorry Syl. Wasn't thinking and- _mmph?_ " Lavellan couldn't focus on it- _this_ -and her stomach churned with nervousness, it aggravated her that she didn't know why. _S_ _he's right when she's seen so much more,_ _and at least I still have my pants_ _. It's just a fucking touch and it felt good, so why am I freaking out?_

Eyebrows furrowed, she pressed harder and smothered the archer's mouth with her own, her tongue delved inside and slid along the palate. She swallowed the groan and in an attempt to distract herself from her racing heart she wrapped one arm around Sera's back and abruptly rose her thigh, grinning with pride when the rogue's head threw back as a loud moan unwillingly spilled from her lips. She rose it higher and Sera adjusted so that her knees tucked in on the chair, with one pressed to the mage's center and the other against her hip. _Tight fit._ She inwardly laughed at that, it'd been difficult to repress the urges to chuckle when she had all these random ironic thoughts zipping around in her mind. Heat pooled between her thighs as the rogue hovered just the slightest bit higher than her, _what I'd give to be short._ She wasn't exactly sure why looking up had been such a turn on, _but I'm not about to complain either._ Both her hands slid down to cup and squeeze Sera's _bloody fucking flawless ass_ though she'd been rather disappointed to see she'd still been too damn tall, for the perky breasts taunted her as they rubbed along the top swell of her own.

 _Nothing to freak out over, everything is fine, see?_ The archer hooked one arm around her neck and grind against her thigh, the other hand reached back to hold on to Lavellan's and another moan spilled from her lips at all the pleasurable friction. Their clouded eyes remained locked with every thrust, Sera would roll her hips as the mage lifted her thigh and soon they established a rhythm. The hold on her neck prevented her from looking anywhere else and she hadn't minded one bit as she stared into the depths of the dilated hazel orbs, the smoldering look and the cheeks flushed with desire made the dalish woman's mind go haywire.

 _She's looking at me like this. After everything we've been through, everything she knows, she's still looking at_ _ **me**_ _…_ Her chest constricted, her lungs suddenly lost all it's air when she felt the rogue's thighs quiver as her whole body shuddered against Sylvira. Her tongue felt as thick as cotton and her jaw slackened, without any thought she whispered in awe, "You're breathtaking, love. Literally." The hand that rested over hers squeezed in response and Sera's lips flickered in a half-smirk until a moan spilled forth again, she started to grind rougher and broke their rhythm, sweat collected on her brow and she hungrily smashed their lips together. A curse slipped past her lips and Lavellan swallowed it eagerly, she matched the fierce need and rose her thigh higher, faster, she'd been hellbent on hearing Sera at least whisper her full name. The arm wrapped around her neck pulled closer and their breasts pressed together, the anxiety hummed deep in the pits of the dalish woman's stomach but she paid no mind to it-or tried to anyways.

 _Everything is fine._ She constantly repeated those words over and over again in her head and immediately cut off any thoughts that reminded her of things she never wanted to think about ever again. Little bits and pieces were subconsciously pulled from repressed memories, the creaky bed, the uncomfortable sensation of hay biting into her back, the flash of rotten teeth. She consistently reminded herself that she was in a creaky chair because of their frantic movements, that she felt the soft plush conform to her back, that the flashes were just the lights from the fire and chandelier playing tricks on her every time Sera moved out of the way to reveal them.

 _Everything is **fine.**_ The way the perky breasts pushed against hers had been heaven and hell at the same time, she was grateful there was still the protective layer of the bra in between the two, else she was sure she'd lose her mind and freak out. _Don't be lame, quit thinking about stupid shit. Think about the woman on your lap,_ the mouth over hers slowed it's assault and the archer parted, her chest heaved heavily and she rested her forehead on Sylvira's shoulder, "Close," she rasped out, "So _fucking_ close." _Just a little bit longer, don't freak out,_ the mage chewed on her bottom lip and tried to push the haunting mental images to the back of her mind, _this feels good. Sera isn't like him,_ _I trust her_ _._ "S-Sylvira," _fuck._ "Shit," _that too,_ she'd been grateful she was at least allowed to wear her pants, though it stuck to her thigh and she could still feel the moist center when Sera stopped for a moment. The very thought of skin to skin honestly frightened her and she hadn't known why, part of her was curious and wanted to feel it but the other part screamed and pleaded not to.

 _I want to feel how much, to feel how aroused she is for_ _ **me**_ _of all people. To know that it's me who does this to her._ Ragged breaths hit her collarbones and the archer hadn't moved, her entire body trembled and the one hand clutched on to Lavellan's in a tight grip-as if she were afraid of falling. She was just about to for she teetered on the edge of bliss and it would only take a slight push, the mage contemplated whether to stall or let her finish on her own terms. It was her game after all, she was the dominant one to be listened to, she issued the command for Sylvira to relax and enjoy the show. And then her heart painfully leaped to choke her at her throat when memories flooded in too fast for her to disconnect, there were far too many reminders and cruel connections.

" _I'm sorry_ _,_ " she murmured under her breath, her hands slid to the rogue's hips and she abruptly rose her thigh, she shifted her pelvis and winced when Sera suddenly bit down on her shoulder in an attempt to muffle her loud cry as she came. _Hold on just for a bit longer,_ she waited for the archer to settle down from her high and gradually lowered her thigh, she could feel the slick center pulsate through her damp breeches. As the body on top of her slackened and teeth loosened its painful hold on her shoulder, she summoned as much energy as she could and manipulated the rogue's weight so that it'd be easier to adjust and lift her. She wrapped one arm around the lower back and the other underneath a thigh as she scooted forward, "Hold on to me, I'll carry you to the bed."

A tired groan of protest was her only response but the arm hooked around her neck squeezed, the other hand latched on to her belt. The extra layer of pressure on her mind threatened to tear everything holding her apart with buried emotions slamming against the gates, shouting to be recognized and acknowledged. It wasn't something she was willing to do however, instead she focused on calming herself until she could detach and cut off the memories, _it's not necessary to revisit the past, there's nothing to be gained. Only lost._ She laid one knee against the edge of the bed and carefully lowered, manipulating the archer's center of gravity until she'd been comfortably settled on the soft blankets.

"Syl..." The exhaustion had been evident in her tone and Lavellan couldn't help but smirk smugly, pride welled up in her that not only was it thanks to **her** that Sera was like this, but that she tired her out over something as simple as riding her leg. And best of all, was that _the bl_ _eedin'_ _granny's got moves_ _ **and**_ _can still lift_ _with a broken body_ _._ She conveniently ignored the fact that it was largely the work of her magic, but that too placed strain on her after all. _I'm_ _ **good**_ _._ She pulled at the blankets underneath the rogue until they were free and gently slid them over her, she smoothed the uneven blonde locks away from Sera's face and planted a tender kiss to her forehead. "Mm," just as she rose and turned though, a calloused hand wrapped around her wrist and weakly tugged her back, "Sleep with me luv." _I can't. If I do, I'll definitely have that_ _fucking_ _dream_ _of him_ _again._ She didn't want to worry the archer and nodded as she lifted the blankets to slide underneath, _I'll just wait until she falls asleep. I can get up and work on something, or try out the shower for myself._

As if sensing her wish to escape, Sera maneuvered until she laid directly on top of the mage and shimmied upwards until her head laid underneath Lavellan's chin, the strands from the unkempt hair tickled and dread welled up in her. Of course it felt absolutely heavenly to be this close, to feel the sweat slicked bare skin pressed to her own, but now that also meant _that if I try to get up, she'll wake up. And I_ _ **can't**_ _sleep._ She let out a small sigh and her head lulled to the right as she watched the fire, her gaze flickered higher to see the night sky beyond the balcony archway and inwardly cursed, _this is going to be a very long night. Looks like it's not even 10 yet._ It hadn't helped that her own arousal still thrummed strongly, the ache between her thighs neglected with but only a few brushes of Sera's knee earlier. She was acutely aware of the breasts pressed just below hers against her stomach, with the rogue already peacefully sleeping away.

 _Must be tuckered out from all that running with the kiddos earlier, but shouldn't our situation be oh I don't know… Reversed? I'm the one that was repeatedly assaulted for like nearly three hours straight._ It wasn't like she truly minded, with the anxiety lingering at the pits of her stomach it's not like it was something even she could do to satisfy her own needs unless she wanted to risk triggering a panic attack. That was the last thing she wanted Sera to see, _she doesn't need to see weakness or fear if I can help it, she doesn't need to know every single flaw._ Her hand wandered up and absent-mindlessly stroked the blonde tuft of messy hair, her lips curled into a smile when she focused on replacing the haunting memories with more pleasant ones.

 _ **Yer hair's all fucked again by the way.**_

 _And this time it's 'just had sex' hair, for you anyways._ She rose her head the slightest bit and restrained a groan as her sore muscles ached in protest, for once again she was being flattened. _B_ _ut at least it's the good kind._ She squinted her eyes and searched along the floor until she spotted what she wanted, she reached out with one hand and rotated her palm upwards to levitate her scarf then brought it over. It's mere presence and the feel of it was comfort in and of itself, though with no way to put it on she instead carefully lifted the blankets and draped it along the back of Sera's neck. She bent her neck as far as she could go and planted a soft kiss to the top of the head, her lips curled into an affectionate smile when the archer shifted and snuggled closer. Arms tucked to both sides of her ribs and hands squeezed underneath to cup her shoulder blades, she could feel light drool trickle down in what will undoubtedly turn into a puddle as it slid from her collarbone over her shoulder.

At that she craned her neck and took a peek at the side that the archer bit down earlier, her heart constricted and swelled at the same time upon noticing the beginnings of a bruise settle in. _She marked me. I'm hers._ She readjusted the long dangling ends of the scarf closer then pulled the blanket back over until it covered Sera's ears, her head fell back on the pillow with a soft sigh escaping her lips. One hand still played with the blonde locks while the other skimmed and danced along the ridges of the rogue's spine, her fingertips trailed along every toned muscle, every marked scar, and every bone as she mapped and drew the woman's body in her mind.

 _I'll have to take a closer look later, to see if my imagination matches._ The side of her thumb swept along an unnatural sunken dent of coarser texture compared to the rest of the pale skin, _another scar._ She followed it vertically, _thin, long,_ her eyebrows furrowed, _a penetration wound by a blade, perhaps. Sounds fucking painful. Lucky that it didn't get any of her internal organs,_ she pressed her middle finger at the back of the hip bone then her thumb along the scar to measure as she guessed the anatomy on the inside, _mm, yeah real lucky. Her liver would've literally turned into chopped liver if the blade was at least 2 more inches to the right._

Another glance to the night sky, though it felt like hours had already passed she was certain - _knowing my luck_ \- that it more than likely hadn't even been fifteen minutes. She sought out more distractions and mapped more scars as she tried to guess what they might have been the result of - _even though I wouldn't really know fuck all about injuries_ \- anything to occupy her mind. Half of her wanted to roll Sera off or wake her up, make up some sort of excuse or say she needed to read the rest of the dossiers, _or Inquisitor work. Can't go wrong with that,_ her heart sank and she chewed on her bottom lip, _but that would be lying to her, and if she's fully awake she'll realize something's wrong. I don't want to bum her out with this,_ she frowned upon seeing Uvun and Grâce dance around in her mind.

 _I hope there's no more nightmares tonight._ Her gaze fell on the stars that shone bright and a dejected sigh slipped past her lips, _looks like everybody's being haunted by ghosts tonight._ She jumped from random topic to topic, mused on next moves, tried to remember plans, conjured different scenarios for the Winter Palace, created a mental list of which nobles to charmingly smile to - _and shake hands as they give me their coin purse_ \- and the rest to _politely_ inform how big of an idiot they are. And then prove it too, by engaging in a subtle battle of wits and tongue, _if they're anything like the nobles I have to meet from time to time, then they're either unarmed or armed with a fucking needle shiv._ She wished she had her journal nearby at the very least, she could levitate it and flip the pages as she reread old entries or reminder notes, her mind slipped further into utter boredom with each second passed.

And then her lips spread into a mischievous grin, as she remembered something _bloody brilliant_ that she wanted to try when Sera came back with ice.

A check to the sky and she instinctively squeezed the naked archer closer to her body, her enthusiasm filled her and her blood boiled. It would take every ounce of willpower for her excitement not to get the best of her, she **had** to wake Sera up at a very precise time. And so she waited, she planned exactly what she was going to say and do whilst thinking of how to word the experiment in her journal later, after she checked the date. One thing was certain, she knew which journal she'd be recording her entry in. She gradually moved inch by inch as she pushed the archer away and off of her, grateful when Sera eventually rolled on to her side as Lavellan spooned behind her after she adjusted the scarf and blanket, _this will be **perfect**. Good things come to those who wait._

* * *

 _ **Survivor's Edition Journal**_

 _9:41 Dragon Matrinalis some-sorta-day-don't-know-yet_

"Honey bee," Sylvira urged and shook the grumbling rogue gently, "Sera, I forgot to tell you something earlier." _I don't expect her to swoon still_ _though_ _._ Another shake, and Sera reached over her shoulder to swat the mage's hand away, "Wake up right now~ it's really important! Waaaaaaake uuuuup," more shaking, and the hand that slapped hers away flipped the middle finger. She chuckled and lightly ran her fingers along the archer's side, lowering so that her breath purposefully hit Sera's neck, "Sweetie, beautiful, gorgeous, love." Another slap of her hand and the rogue muttered death threats under her breath.

 _This is the alternat_ _e approach to the chucking pebbles_ _experiment._ "Wake up, honey~ baby~ dorky~ come on! It's **really** important," she ghosted her fingertips along Sera's forearm and pressed a tender kiss to the nape, restraining the urge to grin when she saw the neck muscles ripple and shiver in kind. Licking her dry lips, she whispers hoarsely, "Wake up! Wakey~ wakey~ dork of mine," _it seems 'dork' gets her right away no matter what, that'll come in handy._ "I _know_ you're awake and you _know_ how much I hate being ignored. Look at me already, love."

Finally a frustrated huff and exasperated groan, the archer rotated her upper torso and her razor sharp slits flashed angrily in the dead of the night, " **WHAT?!** " _Love it when she's like this,_ _d_ _efinitely a powerful force of nature to play with._ _I'm hopelessly_ _attracted to you_ _, helplessly in love with you,_ _and I can't blame gravity for any of it_ _._ Sera's voice nearly dripped of venom as she seethed irritably, "What the **fuck** is so **fucking** important that y'gotta wake me up who knows how **fucking** early to-"

"Roughly 3 A.M."

" **Fucking** tell me?!"

"I love you."


	25. Forgive Us Our Trespasses

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 12-10-2015

 **AN:** Things get really tense in this chapter, so brace yourself. You're absolutely right on all aspects Nyx, except the 'waifu and daughter' bit ;P In Syl's mind, she is strictly a 'big sister' no matter what and it would be a plain fact if she was confronted (which is why she's very lenient with the kids and simply hands off the 'raising/teaching' bits to other people). This plays in part with her own issues regarding a 'typical' family because of the mental scars she bears along with everything she has endured at such a young age. Even if I wanted to, I can't realistically see neither Syl nor Sera being the 'traditional' type of mothers in which they are motherly and nurturing, but they do care in their own way of course.

If anything Sera is far more likely to be a mother figure than Syl, since she is interested in teaching the kids and passing 'motherly' things along like how to bake because of her own experiences. She already has that sort of instinct and want, whereas Syl -if she teaches them- it's more on logical matters rather than lifelong lessons. It's not exactly _meaningful_ interaction, she just lets the kids do what they want and minds her own business, only stepping in to guide or protect them if she has to as oppose to Sera _wanting_ to. There are ideas for development regarding that as well, since there's still a couple more 'milestones' for Syl and the role the kids play in her character growth-specifically Uvun.

I'm glad that you mentioned 'the woman is a warrior' with the list of the things she has to deal with, because -it's subjective opinion of course- I personally think _mental endurance_ is far tougher than _physical endurance._ Willpower is such a fickle thing and mental stress can be just as deadly if not even more than the physical, because once the mind breaks down you're essentially cooked. Stress turns you into a zombie in which you just don't want to do anything anymore, and the wealth of shit Syl has to deal with certainly threatens to make her just that. Chronic pain can take down even the best of us, but I wanted to portray the fact that Syl still manages even with it because of how she perceives it.

Even if she is physically weak, I still think (though I'm biased) she's the toughest of all the characters I've written thus far. Her imperfection and vices (e.g. drinking/smoking) has honestly been my saving grace in which it became easy for me to write because when I get stumped and think _how might she react to this?_ I refer to how a person in our world -in real life- might react in similar circumstances, since I think that Sylvira is the most 'relatable' in how a person can deal with their stress (apart from Fenlin, if we were to put ourselves in their situation). I'm mostly talking about methods rather than actually sharing the character's story, of course, since chances are not many of us can shapeshift or have been a servant/slave. Well... It depends what _kind_ of servant I guess... ;P

 **Update:** This might be the last chapter of the year, but I'm hoping to squeeze one extra in for every story. No guarantees, and if I don't then happy holidays and happy new years :)

 **Reading Preferences:** I still can't make up my mind whether to split larger paragraphs into shorter chunks even if it's the same character talking. So, what I was wondering is if people wouldn't mind helping me out with this. Do large paragraphs make it more difficult for you to get through and read, if you lose your spot? Would you rather them chopped up into let's say, 5-6 lines (not sentences, but actual lines that are taken up on the page) as oppose to let's say 9-10? The two paragraphs in the **AN** are a good example, for a lot of the paragraphs in the chapter are just as lengthy. If you don't mind helping me out in making up my mind (totally makes sense :P) then drop a PM or review or however else. Thanks a bunch and greatly appreciate any help/feedback, cheers! In any case, this is more than enough rambling, **on to the story!**

* * *

 **Forgive Us Our Trespasses**

* * *

Roused awake by the vague sounds of water trickling and the thudding of the main door, the archer groaned when she rolled on her other side as she blinked blearily. She propped herself up on one elbow and took a look to see whoever it was walked up the staircase, "Syl?" Her eyebrow rose and her sleep-addled mind tried to figure out what was happening when she in fact saw an elf, but far shorter and in plain clothes. And, the most telling feature that something was off, was that she had decent fashion sense as opposed to the usual disheveled appearance. "Uh..." _Maybe somethin' fucked up again, always happens._ However when the woman stared back nervously and had bundles of fresh linen folded in her arms, the rogue sat up higher and curled the blanket around her to cover herself, "Who are you?"

"J-just a servant milady," the jittery elf replied, _milady, what the fuck?_ Her eyes darted around at all the other clothes haphazardly thrown around on the floor, "I was instructed to bring dry linen u-um… Do you know if her Grace would like me to clean this?" _Her Grace?_ This was too much brain-work for the morning and she couldn't help but laugh upon hearing the Loser being referred to as 'Grace', she shook her head no as the servant blinked, puzzled by her reaction.

"Nah, she likes it like this." The nervous woman nodded and carefully sifted through the wreckage wordlessly, her expression flickered before it was forcefully composed, _feel kinda bad sittin' here watching her… Think she'll freak out if I hop up to help with my tits floppin' out._ Instead she decided to welcome the agitated elf instead, "What's your name?" Startled by the sudden inquiry, the servant paused for a few moments as she hesitantly laid the dry linen on top of the drawer closest to the bathroom. _Can ask Syl to do somethin' for her too, make her day. Coin goes a long way if she's got mouths to feed._

Turning around and bowing, it seemed as though the young woman had no desire to be friendly as she mumbled quietly, "Excuse me, I'll take my leave now. Have a good day, milady."

"O-oi," and just as suddenly the servant left leaving Sera bewildered, gaping at the staircase as her brain wracks itself for answers. _What the heck, why was she so nervous? It's just Syl's room._ A shrug, her lips curled in a mischievous smirk as her attention shifted back to the sounds of water trickling behind the door. _Instructed to bring dry linen huh? I'll take that,_ the blanket pooled at her feet as she slid off the bed, she stopped and stared at the scarf that followed along. _Huh?_ Plucking the knitted fabric from the ground, she rose it to her nose and inhaled the faint scent of mango laced with smoke, her stomach thrummed with delight.

 _Look what you've done to me, stupid._ Carefully folding the scarf, she briskly walked to the drawer and slung a couple of the linen towels over her forearm then grasped the door handle as gently as possible. _Wanna surprise her,_ she stopped when she heard light musical humming and her heart fluttered at the sound, if she **had** to _praise_ the mage it'd be for this over anything else. _And maybe her smarts too. Maybe._ Every morning she woke up with Sylvira led to a bee's nest gradually growing in the pits of her belly, buzzing and humming sweet sounds much like those that came out of **her** Loser's mouth now. Taking a breath in to calm herself so she wouldn't giggle or hum along, she slowly inched the door open and hoped the tiny creaky noises wouldn't alert Lavellan.

And then she froze at the sight before her.

Drenched golden hair clung to a back that had more scars than skin, she had to catch herself before she sucked in a sharp breath. Anger welled up in her though she did her best to stave it off and drown it's bitter voice, she didn't want to see the face Lavellan made last time when she realized the rogue saw the scars. The mage's palm rested against the stone wall, the left hand -now missing it's usual bandages- raked through hair as Sylvira hung her head forward, the water hit the back of her shoulders. And then an idea hit Sera as she glanced at the towels on her arm, her lips spreading into a grin at the thought of turning the tables for once, _unless this is what she actually meant, playin' with words._

 ** _Warm water cascading down your bare back._**

Quietly laying the linen down in the corner untouched by water or steamy mist, the archer watched both hips and shoulders like a hawk to ensure she'd remain out of sight should Lavellan turn. _Can't fuckin' breathe in here with how hot it is. Her and the water._ One foot in the stone bucket, she tested her balance before bringing the second over, anticipation hummed in her stomach and she felt giddy for being closer like this without being spotted. _She'd be screwed if I was an assassin. Well not screwed. That's my job._ She ignored the bitter voice as her gaze flickered from scar to scar and inched nearer, her hands slid along the unsuspecting mage's hips until she went around to the front, her cheshire grin grew as she felt the relatively-pudgy muscles tense in kind. _Too much warm food and soft bed, we gotta go out savin' the world more. Bet she'd just say 'muscle underneath the fat' or some other bullshit._

 ** _Hands gliding along your stomach…_**

"Need to put locks on the door, luv. Else anyone can walk in," she leaned forward and her eyes reflexively closed as the water plopped down on her, she gave a chaste kiss between the tall woman's shoulder blades. Tingles ran along her spine as she pressed closer so that her breasts rubbed along the bare back, the pits of her stomach churned with need from the pleasant sensations, _skin to skin. How's she taking it? Wish I paid attention last night, her fault._

It worried her that Sylvira remained silent yet her body had stiffened as hard as a rock, and somehow the muscles still contracted even tighter. Her hands fell as soon as a pleading whisper to let go reached her ears, guilt welled up in her for pushing when she knew the mage would be uncomfortable. It hadn't helped when she was frustrated as well, _I wanna touch her too, make her feel good._ She knew there was a perfectly good reason why she couldn't and she knew this reason, but she was never one for patience and providing emotional comfort or security wasn't exactly her forte. She dared glance up and that guilt thrummed stronger as piercing citron orbs bore into hers, she noticed the dark circles under Lavellan's eyes and couldn't help but blurt, "Y'look like shite, Syl. Couldn't sleep?"

"Mm," a brief cough to clear her throat of the hoarse quality, the mage smoothed her soaked hair bangs out of her face and gradually turned around. Half-lidded eyes stared back with clear exhaustion in them, "Thought I'd try this out and clear my mind before the next round of dossiers."

"Next round?" The rogue's eyebrow rose and she slowly reached up so as not to startle Sylvira as she continued to push the drenched hair out of the way, it took all her willpower for her gaze not to dip lower. It occasionally flickered downwards and the dalish woman's lips curled every time she'd been caught, though Sera's attention had been transfixed on the concerning statement, _looked really early too. Felt real early wakin' up, but it always does._ "You didn't sleep at **all**?" Her forehead creased and she quickly pushed back her own hair, one thing for sure was that despite how nice it felt under the warm shower it was definitely not the place for regular conversation. _She stayed up all night..._ The sad guilty smile told her everything and she reached up to frame Lavellan's cheeks, the haunted look in her eyes reminded her of the kids, _I don't get this._ "You needa get somethin' luv, y'look like yer 'bout to pass out standing."

"I _can't._ " A small sigh, Sylvira shook her head and craned her neck to give the archer a chaste kiss then swiftly turned back around, "I'd rather not talk about this here if you don't mind. There's only so much water in the barrel and I want to enjoy this moment with you. How do you like it?" The hopeful and excited tone didn't go unnoticed, Sera chuckled as she reached up higher to smooth her palms along the delicate shoulders, _why's she so worried 'bout what I think? Used to never matter, feels like ages ago now._ She lifted her hand along the left shoulder after she thumbed along the mark, pride surged through her until she saw the muscle stiffen and heard the low inhale, _oh shite probly hurts. Woops._ Still she couldn't help but grin sloppily, _she let me do this. She's got a big head but she don't care 'your Grace' is with a Jenny._

"It's warm yeah, better with you." She rose on her toes and planted a soft kiss to one of the shoulder blades, her eyes were as sharp as a hawk and her ears as sensitive as a cat's, she was keenly aware of the slightest changes and sharper breaths. _But she ain't sayin' stop, she's trying. Just gotta take it slow -hehe so wrong- yeah I can do that._ "I can get used to this, it's nice I s'pose." A grin graced her lips when the mage nodded fervently, _so damn happy._ Another kiss to the opposite shoulder, her hands wandered and stopped to rest on Lavellan's hips, hoping it was a safe place for them to be. There was no plea to stop and she continued to press random kisses everywhere, usually if she spotted another scar in which she tried to determine the cause of it.

Some she guessed it may have been a knife, or whip, others she had absolutely no clue and it unsettled her that the woman before her endured all sorts of unimaginable things. Her thumb brushed along one scar closer to the spine and she glanced up as the tense shoulders hiked up the slightest bit, she took that as a hint and moved on so as not to make Sylvira too uncomfortable to the point she'd eventually reject Sera's touch. The sounds of water plopping down and the occasional shallow breaths or sharp inhales from the mage resounded in the small room, her eyes flickered when she rose on her toes and planted a kiss beside the mark. Glowing sky blue caught her attention and she noticed that the left shoulder pulsed for a split second, she worriedly called out to the tall woman, "Hey, Syl? Your arm just flashed the way yer eyes do. I thought ya did that whatever thing yesterday?"

"I did," came the gruff and exhausted reply, Sera's forehead creased with concern but she had no way of seeing beyond the side of the mage's jawbone. "It's nothing to worry about," Lavellan chuckled as she idly explained while she washed her hair, "Sometimes it does that as a reaction when it's... Stimulated," _huh?_ "It's a good thing the water is dulling the sensations, I imagine I'd be lit up like lights on Satinalia morning if I was able to feel your touches and kisses."

"It doesn't hurt though does it?"

"No, none more so than the usual anyways," _so basically that's a frigging yes._ "Don't worry about it, Sera." _Sera and not a stupid cheesy nickname._

"Don't wanna hurt you ye daft tit, wanna make you feel good." Her heart constricted when Lavellan sighed in resignation, the shoulders sagged and the dalish woman reached for the chain to stop the water from flowing. She swept her hair back and grabbed the ends to slide over one shoulder, she twisted and wrung out the excess water as she turned around. The archer's eyes widened when she saw a faint blue hue gloss over the citron orbs, and the weary pain engraved in them. "What the fuck, why didn'tcha say you were hurting? Why-" she'd been silenced by a tender kiss to the lips, and long slender fingers wove in her drenched hair. The persuasive mouth smothered hers and the familiar smoke-laced tongue delved in as it swept along her palate, she groaned in kind and her eyelids fluttered shut as she lost herself in the kiss. She nearly forgot what it was she had even been worried about until she abruptly pulled away, realizing what the mage was trying to do. " **Syl**."

Another sigh, Sylvira shook her head and stepped sideways out of the stone bucket as she strode towards the dry linen in the corner. A light mist draped the small room and the rogue watched quietly, aggravated by her stubborn lover who remained mute as she dried herself. _I don't get this..._ Finally after some time, the dalish woman exhaled slowly and turned around with a forced smile, "I just want to try and get used to it." _Huh?_ Confusion splayed on Sera's face and Lavellan added, "Your touches. Every part of me screams in reflex to defend myself." _So, what, she glowed because she wanted to hurt me? But why'd her arm an' eyes look like that?_ "Even when I know it's you," she shrugged and turned around as she thumbed to her back, "I'm still trying to get used to you seeing these, let alone touching."

"So why didn't ya say anything if it was that bad?" The archer's head tilted and watched carefully when Sylvira let out a humorless chuckle, as if forcing herself to laugh for the sake of it. She caught the towel when the woman tossed it over, then stepped out of the shower as she rubbed herself down. It occurred to her that the towel smelled of Lavellan and a large part of her felt like dancing, giddy that she too would smell like her lover. The only bummer was that she wouldn't be able to pick up the scent as easily if she got used to it, but then again it still radiated strongest from the mage.

"I already said, I want to get used to it." _It'll only suck if y'hate it though..._ "I'm not sure how else to unless I try it," Sylvira approached the sullen rogue and gently lifted her chin as she stole a brief kiss. "I've never seen you like this," she whispered in between kisses, "Worried for me, are you?" Just as Sera had been about to deny it for a reason even she hadn't known, the dalish woman murmured lowly, "It's because of that I know I'm safe. Even if I feel shitty with my mind screaming at me to fight you, I just keep telling myself that it's you and that you aren't them," _them? More than one...?_

Bile rose to her throat and her stomach churned with nausea, she didn't want to think about the cruel reality and her eyes itched as they closed. "Hopefully," the forced cheerful tone made something in Sera cry from within, and urges to comfort Lavellan consumed all other thoughts. "Some magic will happen and eventually I'll trick and convince my mind that you're good." _Trick?_ The emotionally detached plan unsettled her and the towel fell as her arms rose to wrap around Sylvira's neck, she pulled the mage down without thinking and hadn't immediately registered the stiff body as they pressed together. Just as she was about to lock their mouths she was pushed away, Lavellan's eyes flashed dangerously and she shook her head as she averted her gaze in shame. "Sorry..."

Part of Sera was frustrated and her impatience threatened to get the better of her, her anger nearly choked her and she wanted nothing more than to find the _fucking arseholes_ that did this to Sylvira just so she could shove every single arrow she had in their _frigging dangle-bags._ It hurt that instead of being berated for her own thoughtless mistake, the mage apologized for her own instinctive reaction in which was perfectly understandable. But feelings and rationale always butted heads. "It's not yer fault Syl," Sera urged, she was aggravated with herself for not knowing what else to say and how the only method she could think of to comfort her lover was the very same thing that Lavellan feared; physical intimacy. _If she were to lemme touch her all that time ago before we left to deal with those shitbag templars, what woulda happened? Would she look at me like the pricks that touched her?_ The citron orbs danced tiredly and she felt like a shit when the mage smiled sadly, "Syl I-"

"Stop," Sylvira bent down to retrieve the abandoned towel and wrapped it around herself, she grabbed another to help cover Sera and shrugged casually. "Maybe my head's a little screwy, but let's not make this more dramatic than it needs to be hm? I'm sure everything will be fine with a little time and practice," she stepped behind the archer and squeezed the towel under Sera's arms as she tied it around.

 _Bullshit... Shouldn't I say something? But what?_ The murmur tickled her ear and delicate hands squeezed her rigid shoulders, "You don't have to say anything, love. Eventually I'll know you don't mean any harm and this will all be a distant dream, now come on. Let's get you breakfast," _me? She already ate?_ "Then get the meeting done and over with, preferably as soon as possible. I want to check on the kiddos and make sure they're alright if I'm not swamped with work." Sera nodded and wordlessly followed, the entire time the mage tried to reassure her it bothered her that it sounded more like Lavellan tried to convince herself. Her eyebrows furrowed as her gaze trailed the numerous scars on the dalish woman's back, she didn't dare point out the obvious out loud.

 _She didn't believe a single word of her own bullshit._

* * *

 _Kriegspiel. Now the worst fucking game I've ever played._ Hands splayed on the war table, the mage absent-mindlessly chewed on the ends of her lopsided ponytail as she bounced on the balls of her feet. She hummed to herself as her mind furiously tried to work out a plan that would be the best course of action, rather than be forced to choose one or the other as an ultimatum. The advisors argued in the background and some companions had joined in the cause, one of Leliana's messenger birds delivered a letter about a Sister Paulette and a handful of injured Inquisition soldiers being pinned down by the avvar in the Frostbacks.

So far there were only two choices: Cullen had said dispatching a force would not reach the injured in time but there was a party nearby that could be diverted to rescue them. However that also meant losing the red templars the party had been tracking, and the red templars had civilians in their custody in which they were being carted off to a red lyrium mine. Not only that, but on the trail they were on now there would inevitably be more innocents captured and doomed either by madness or death. This was one of the reasons Sylvira **hated** being the Inquisitor, for she had to live with the consequences of her decision in which **she** had the final say of who lives or dies.

 _Fuck that. There has to be another way._ If there wasn't, she already idly stated she would choose the civilians over the soldiers, for the soldiers knew of their duty and this was just part of **their** job: protecting the innocent. Naturally, that caused quite the ruckus and Sera snapped at her, joining many others who said that the soldiers were their trusted allies and that help was now needed more than ever. _Both sides need fucking help,_ it hadn't helped that Leliana and Cullen were the only ones who backed her decision, it seemed as though everyone conveniently forgot about the unnamed civilians being horded to a mine. A mine that -if destroyed- would greatly harm the red templars and undoubtedly thwart many operations, but that also involved making the tough call nobody else wanted to: sacrificing friends and loyal soldiers.

Loyalty was already such a fickle thing, and this would definitely harm what little faith there was in her rule. Her heart sagged when Sera exclaimed that it would be the same as sacrificing **her** without another spare thought, _it's not without spare thought. I'm trying to think and all this arguing..._ Her fists clenched the edge of the table so tightly that her knuckles turned white, her emotions boiled before they had suddenly cut off. Even if she droned out all the arguing and yelling, she still couldn't see any way around and time was running out. She had to make the call **now**. _Always hard decisions, there's never one where I-_ her gaze flickered for but a brief moment to the side of Sera's rear-end, and her tired eyes lit up with mischievous glee.

A mosquito.

 _Easiest decision of my life. I need more of these._ Without wasting another second, Sylvira reached over and smacked the archer's _magnificent ass_ to kill the mosquito. **Hard**. _I have no idea how in the world it's even survived this temperature, but-_ unfortunately her fun didn't get to last too much longer after the rogue's head snapped to her with a fierce glare, "Oi, what was that for?!" She rubbed the side of her bum and grumbled, "Didjya havta smack so damn hard? Gonna have a frigging bruise you arse," naturally this only brought a large grin to the mage's face, and there were a variety of reactions from those who witnessed what happened. Mostly disgusted ones and blushes, with only Bull's laughter validating the _flawless_ choice. _Right, now back to shitty reality. That was a nice break at least._ After the rowdy arguments died and eyes fell on Lavellan as they _im_ patiently waited for her orders, she raked her hand through her hair and straightened out as she assumed an authoritative tone.

"Everyone but Leliana is dismissed." Certainly not what the others were expecting, and Sylvira added before someone interjected, "I'm close. I know there's a way to save both groups but I need silence to think the rest through." She looked at the Spymaster and ignored the skeptical expressions, "I need you here so I can explain the plan before we dispatch both messenger birds and troops."

"But Inquisitor," Cullen stepped forward and promptly received a glare from the dalish woman, "I already said the troops won't-"

"That is all," she cut in coldly, " **Dismissed**." She didn't dare look at Sera who also shared the same disbelieving look as many others, but nonetheless they gradually filtered out the war room. _She can't see this._ The mage chewed on the corner of her lip as her hands splayed on the map again, her shoulders sagged and a heavy sigh escaped her when only her and Leliana remained. The more these situations happened, the more similar connections she's made between herself and Celene, and the more anxious she was at the prospect of Sera being at the Winter Palace. _I'll undoubtedly have to make many more decisions like this that she'll hate when we're there._ She looked at the Spymaster, "You know there's no other way. If we don't stop those red templars there will be far more devastating casualties. We need to put an end to their operations and save the civilians," Leliana hummed in agreement, and Sylvira's heart braced itself for the coming dreaded order.

 _Why did everyone forget about the civilians, aren't they more important, isn't the very purpose of this Inquisition to protect the people?_ "Don't divert the party." It was necessary to have the Commander protest, for it would mask her own _bullshit_ and have the doubters believe she at least tried to fight against impossible odds. And still conquer. _Or rather, have Sera believe. I'm sure the others like Vivienne already know otherwise._ "Inform Cullen privately and tell him to dispatch troops to retrieve the bodies." _Fuck. This is so fucking messed up. Issuing orders to collect their slaughtered friends._ "See if you can track these avvar barbarians, and poison their fucking food. Make them suffer and know how fucking retarded they were to mess with the Inquisition, before they die in the most painful way you can think of."

"Yes, Inquisitor." Leliana nodded and there had been no denying the ruthless vengeance, Sylvira rounded the table and head for the door before she froze at the dreaded question, "What will you tell the others?" There had been a silent question in there, for she knew Lavellan didn't give a damn about anybody's opinion... Except maybe Sera's. _Just like fucking Celene and Briala. Shit..._ She glanced over her shoulder then shook her head and left, her citron orbs hardened and devoid of emotion. _This is the job,_ she couldn't afford to take it to heart, for if she had then she would have cracked long ago after having made countless of similar decisions. All behind Sera's back.

 _This is what it means to be the Inquisitor._

"That we were too late."

 _And this is the worst part of the job._

* * *

"Hey, you feelin' alright Syl?" Sera's eyebrows furrowed in concern as the two sat at Cabot's bar, though she had to scoot over when the mage sat a couple stools away from her. _Guess I'll ask 'er later what she thought of to save everybody. Kinda doubt it but she's smart, if anyone can think of how it's Syl._ Instead, Lavellan ordered the usual rum and downed it without saying anything, so the archer leaned over and bumped shoulders, "Syl?" Exhausted eyes trailed over to her and she fought back both frown and anger, she was frustrated at not being able to do anything but watch the woman push herself into a corner. It hurt to see that the citron orbs took on a more yellow hue, a telling sign apart from how they lacked their usual radiance and life. _She's gonna shut off soon._ "Y'needa catch some shut-eye before you pass the fuck out right here."

"I can't," Sylvira mumbled as she swirled the rum in her refilled glass, her blank gaze bore into the liquid for an excruciatingly long minute before she threw her head back to down the second round. She clanged the glass against the counter to signal a third one, and it unnerved Sera at the speed of which instead of savoring the rum it'd been downed without a spare thought. _She'll pass out if she gets drunk. Maybe she oughta drink then, she definitely looks like she needs it._ As the glass had been refilled, the mage lowered until she rested her chin on her forearm, swirling the rum that just nearly matched the color of her eyes. "You're not going to ask what I did?"

"It's you, so I know they're all alright," Sera replied simply, she was confused when Lavellan seemed as though she deflated and sank further. _What the fuck? Maybe it's coz-_ "Yer smart like that." Not even the compliment seemed to lift the woman's spirits and her irritation got the best of her, "Alright that's it. C'mon," she grabbed Sylvira's rum out of her hand and slid it down the bar then roughly grasped the mage's bicep to yank her off the stool.

"What the _fuck_ are you doing?" Lavellan hissed, she tried to free herself from Sera's grip as the archer dragged the two up the tavern stairs to head to her room. The stern warning tone hadn't scared her either, "Sera, let go of me. That's an order." _Yeah. Coz that's gonna work._

" **No**. And y'know I don't give a fuck 'bout your orders." The rogue pulled harder then swiftly circled around Sylvira to shove her inside the disorganized nook, she slammed the door shut and had her hands on her hips as she glared. "On the bed, now. Quit throwing a fucking hissy fit and just go the fuck to sleep, y'can't stay awake forever."

"What part of I **can't** don't you get?"

"What part of you **have to** don't _you_ get?" Sera retorted, "Why _can't_ you, huh? Y'sure look like you can," she frowned at the stubborn tight-lipped woman, _I don't get any of this._ Even if she wracked the brain for answers she came up with nothing, and she softened when she saw a flicker in the citron orbs for a brief moment as she asked, "Why don't you wanna sleep, Syl?"

 **Fear**.

"Don'tcha get yer making yourself worse like this?" The rogue stepped forward and carefully framed Lavellan's face who averted her gaze, Sera gently guided the mage to look at her and her eyebrows furrowed when the citron orbs intentionally avoided hers. _She don't want me to see whatever it is she's scared of me seein'._ She was at a loss of what to do when the tall woman remained quiet and Sera's hands fell until they smoothed along the ends of the scarf, she gave a light tug and fought back the sigh that nearly escaped her when despondent lips met hers. It frightened her just how empty and cold the kiss was, and it plain hurt when Sylvira tried desperately hard to shut her out. " _Please,_ " she whispered, "Talk to me luv, what's going on?" _Is it coz of the shower, or what? I don't bloody get any of this._ She parted yet retained her grip on the scarf, searching the hollow eyes for answers where none could be found. Her heart sank when instead the mage leaned back a little bit then gestured behind her with her hand, her hopes that it meant Sylvira wanted to sleep were promptly crushed by the quiet words that followed soon after.

"I just don't want to sleep." And then the citron orbs hardened as they bore into Sera's eyes, "I don't _want_ to and I can't." She averted her gaze again and trailed off in a barely audible whisper, "I'll dream of things I don't want to remember."

 _ **Fuck**_ _._

And then it came crashing down, the archer felt like the biggest shit in the world when she put two and two together; last night when she asked Sylvira to get rid of her shirt, and then this morning in the shower when she had pushed even harder for more contact and touching. Then her stomach twisted with nausea and a lump lodged in her throat as she watched the persistent woman avoid her eyes. It wasn't Lavellan who forced herself into a corner.

It was Sera.

 _Just like the shits who did this to her before..._ Her heart sank when the mage stepped back with a small guilty smile, "Sorry, love. I'm just not feeling my best today, that's all." _Because of me._ _Why didn't you ever say it? Somethin' like this..._ She assumed Lavellan would always tell her the truth about everything now, and it ate away at her that instead of blaming Sera, the dalish woman blamed herself. "It's just one of those days, you know? So how about we play some Wicked Grace or think of a prank, or-"

"Syl." The archer's eyebrows furrowed and she chewed on her lip as she stepped forward, it pained her when Sylvira instinctively stepped back and nearly tripped over her table. "I know I messed up, but don't push me away." _She always does this, why didn't I see it earlier?_

"What? No it's not you," the mage gave another humorless chuckle, "What's with people blaming themselves when it's because of me?" _For fuck's sake._ "Seriously, it's-" the two were interrupted by knocks at the door and Sera groaned, _of all flippin' times, it had to be now?_ Lavellan rubbed at her temples and tiredly inquired, "Yes? Who is it?"

"Sister Nightingale sent for me Serah," _are you frigging serious, again? Do they just know this is the first place to look for Syl or what?_ The archer gave Sylvira a skeptical look and crossed her arms, though the dalish woman herself seemed just as confused. "She's received word that a crystal of some sort has been successfully planted, and thinks it may be something you are interested in seeing." _Crystal? Planted where?_

"I see. And where is Spymaster Leliana?"

"In the rookery, Your Worship."

"Alright," the mage's shoulders slumped and she massaged her forehead again, she brushed past Sera without another glance and opened the door to face the dwarven messenger. _S'gotta suck for him to run so many stairs to send a message 'bout shite nobody gets._ "I'll head over there now, dismissed." The dwarf saluted her and turned heel immediately, the rogue's eyebrows furrowed when Lavellan silently lingered at her doorway. _She's tired, any more of this and she'll burn out like last time..._ "Hey," the dalish woman glanced over her shoulder and had a mischievous glint in her eyes, _huh?_ Relief welled up in Sera when it easily translated to show on Sylvira's face as her lips pulled in a devilish smirk, "I just had a brilliant idea on how to prank Leliana **and** her agents." _Even_ _ **I**_ _know that ain't someone y'just prank, she's bloody mad she is._ "Still got that paint?" _And I fucking love it._ The archer nodded eagerly and Lavellan stretched out her hand, "C'mon, I'll tell you the plan while we walk there."

"We?" _She wants me to come with, why?_ At that the mage's hand faltered and Sera reacted swiftly as she intertwined their fingers, "Sure, just didn't think you'd want me there is all." _I'm everywhere with her now. I'll always go too._ Remorse flickered in the citron orbs until Lavellan looked away, and the rogue was completely stumped as she was wordlessly pulled along. _What was that?_ There were far too many worrisome signals and her stomach churned with nervousness, though she didn't have the guts to mention it. She was already being pushed away - _daft coz we're holding hands but it's like nobody's there_ \- and she knew that opening her mouth would only push her even farther. She felt awkward being guided rather than walk beside the tall woman, and the tense silence crawled under her skin as they made it outside and across the courtyard.

After they had climbed up the steps to the main keep, Sylvira gently squeezed her hand and occasionally glanced over her shoulder as she spoke, "Paint something on the walls."

"Well... Yeah. What else are ya s'posto do with paint?"

"Sideways." _Huh?_ When they entered Solas' room, the archer looked all the way up at the cawing ravens and snickered when Lavellan complained about the stairs under her breath. And then she put two and two together as she tried to imagine it, then giggled lowly. "I'm thinking of writing something along the lines of 'you look really funny doing this with your head', what do you think?"

"Love it," there was no room for doubt and Sera squeezed the mage's hand, "Let's do it tonight." Her mouth quirked up in a grin in response to Sylvira's smirk when she looked over her shoulder, the exhausted citron orbs still danced with impish glee and it was moments like these in which the rogue simply stared in awe. Part of her felt guilty for always giving the woman a hard time, for seeing her in a negative light and slandering her when she truly meant well even if her methods were questionable sometimes. But at least they always got the job done **right** , and there was always something going on in that complicated brain, _like earlier in the meeting. How everyone says it ain't possible to save both and she figures it out anyways._

Something she admired, and at the same time it frightened her just a little that **her** girlfriend could easily put evil mastermind magisters to shame with the most _basic_ plans. All while humming, bouncing on her toes and chewing her hair. _Frigging scary, now that I think 'bout it._ It felt like ages of climbing the endless stairs to the top of the rookery with Lavellan grumbling under her breath the entire time, and she had even flipped Dorian the middle finger when the tevinter man started to chuckle to himself after he saw the two emerge from the first staircase. "Need more _romantic_ jogs luv. You're outta shape and yer gettin' pudgy."

"More of me to love," _here we go with her bullshit again._ "I maintain my fat ass so more people can kiss it." _Oh my frigging-_ Sera burst out in laughter and pride welled up in her when the dalish woman squeezed her hand, her mouth set in a lopsided grin. _And here's 'your Grace' and yer frigging smartiepants, joking 'round like anybody else. And she's_ _ **mine**_ _._ It never ceased to make her feel giddy every time she thought of it, and her stomach always buzzed when she hung out while Sylvira played with the kids. The more she saw when the mage opened up, the more she became addicted to knowing and seeing _everything,_ both good and bad.

And it unsettled her -just a little- when she realized she had never felt anything like this with anybody else, in which she wanted to figure out every little detail about Lavellan and engrave it directly in her brain. She wanted to find out about favorites, see more weird quirks, wake up and fall asleep together _every_ day, she just wanted to be _there_ with the woman every step of the way. Everywhere. Anywhere. _Exactly like this._ Her mouth twitched in a fond smirk at her pouty lover's grunts and mutters as they worked on the last staircase, _looks like I'm carrying the paint can tonight, lazy arse._ "Remind me to remind Leliana," a wheezy huff, "That making the Inquisitor do unnecessary work is punishable by death."

"You really wanna try that with Red?" A brief pause as Sylvira stopped and straightened out on the staircase, she raked her free hand through her hair then hummed in thought. "If y'ask me, it ain't worth it luv. She'd kill ya before ya even get the chance to tell 'er that."

"Good point, I didn't think about that." _Everybody knows it. Yer just too tired to remember._

"I'll keep that in mind next time Inquisitor," came the amused tone from up above and both elves immediately froze, petrified in their spots. _Oh_ _ **fuck**_ _..._ Sera looked down the stairs and contemplated on escaping before the mage squeezed her hand as tightly as possible. _What the fuck is she doing, why's she draggin' me into this shite?_

"Don't leave me," came the shaky plea, "I don't want to die alone." _For shit's sake, the things I do for her..._ They both steeled themselves as they hesitantly looked up at Leliana, who crossed her arms and had a sly smile on her face. They both gulped audibly, and it was as if they telepathically communicated to each other through their hand squeezing, their thoughts in sync with one another. The plan to prank the Spymaster was dumped, no doubt about it.

They valued their lives more than a laugh.

Of course, it wasn't like they truly believed Leliana would actually harm them, but the clever Spymaster instilled fear in them. Especially when Sera heard the orlesian woman used to play, and neither of them dared even imagine what Leliana would do in retaliation to their prank. "If you will, Inquisitor...?" The Spymaster gestured behind her and cast a skeptical glance at Sera, _huh?_ "This may be something you wish to view privately." At that the mage tensed and Lavellan contemplated for a moment before she shook her head, _what...?_

"I trust Sera." _Way to make my tummy buzz, honey tongue Loser._ "Show me what the crystal revealed," and then they both had been on high alert when even Leliana seemed to be reluctant, the archer reassuringly squeezed Sylvira's hand despite not having a single clue as to what was going on. Whatever it was though, it clearly hadn't been good. _It like a fortune telling thing, whatever this crystal shite is?_ They slowly made up the steps when Leliana turned heel and strode to her table then sat down, she gestured to the chairs and the floating crystal in some sort of cage-like mechanism.

 _The heck is this thing?_ "Ensure your agent gets a bonus for smuggling this in Calpernia's camp," the dalish woman seemed hesitant on sitting until Sera shrugged and took the second chair, something warned her they'd both need to. _And if Syl's nervous, it's definitely really bad._ She eyed Lavellan protectively and honest to Maker tried to keep herself calm, she didn't need to know what the crystal did to know that the name _Calpernia_ itself had already been a damning sign. Especially since she knows of the connection while the keen Spymaster doesn't and **won't** , if Sera doesn't muck it up.

 _Right. No pressure..._

It hurt enough to know that she messed up with Dorian and Bull even if they had already suspected it, did Leliana suspect it too? Nevertheless, she was determined not to confirm anything and sucked in to hold a breath when Sylvira reached out to the crystal as she sat down, the hollow wraith-like projections conjured beside the table and a woman spoke. _The fuck is this?_ "Ugh." _Holy shit...! They can't see us right?_ "Even honey cannot sweeten felandaris..." _Guess not. What the frig is this?_ Her stomach twisted and she searched for the mage's hand under the table, her heart squeezed painfully when she found incredibly clammy fingers and itchy bandages.

And then she put two and two together as the projections talked to each other, when the wraith-like woman uttered the damning word in which Sera had to will herself not to cringe in kind. Her hand felt like it was being crushed in Sylvira's grip, "You are no slave, Linnea."

Everything else had been tuned out when the rogue glanced at Lavellan, she smoothed her second hand over to try and save her aching hand. "I'll add another spoonful myself, later." _So that's the bitch that messed up Syl's hand..._ Another stolen glance, her eyebrows furrowed with worry when even the dalish woman struggled for composure, or at least her hand had been completely different than her forced stoic face. _That's the bitch Syl used to be 'friends' with. Right, some fucking friend. She's getting an arrow, see how that sweetens her fuckin' tea._

"Calpernia is treating her new acolytes kindly," _ugh._ Lavellan had the detached emotionless voice and upon getting a better look, Sera only saw yellow swirling around her empty orbs, _she's shut off..._

"While I found that interesting," Leliana remarked and the archer didn't dare look at her, she could _feel_ the hawk-like eyes darting around. " _This_ is what you must hear." And then Sera struggled not to yelp after the Spymaster reactivated the crystal, the projections showed Corypheus and Calpernia. But that's not why she wanted to yelp.

"Master," Calpernia's strong voice resounded in the room, "Forgive me, I didn't expect-" and the crushing hand trembled immensely, the rogue watched as a bead of sweat rolled down the side of Sylvira's face and throat until it disappeared beneath the scarf. _Slave, master, two fucking words Syl never ever wants to hear. Fuck. I don't either, 'specially if it does this to her._ As the mage gaped and watched the projections converse, Sera focused on soothingly rubbing Lavellan's knuckles in both an attempt to stop the painful clenching and because she simply had no other idea what to do. Clearly she didn't have to worry about what sorts of expressions she made, since it was a pretty telling sign when all the color drained from the dalish woman's face. Leliana naturally picked up on all these damning signals, and instead of watching what Calpernia and Corypheus revealed she had paid acute attention to the two nervous elves.

"Cally's doing this for Tevinter," Sylvira murmured, and the nickname made piercing blue orbs lock on her, _oh fuck... Red knows now, doesn't she?_ "It was never for Corypheus..." Sera's head snapped to the projection when the hollow magister strode towards their crystal and she took a good hard look at Calpernia's _ugly arse_ face, engraving the features in her mind so she would be able to pick out this _old hag_ from a thousand men and make her _prettier_ with an arrow in the face.

"Another deflection. And... Why, a dwarven bauble." Even in a hollow form, Sera could make out the crooked teeth in the woman's twisted grin. "As if mine was miraculously returned to me! Are you watching, Sylvira?" _Oh_ _ **fuck**_ _._ "Allow me to give you a glimpse of your fate," the projection looked away and gestured with her hand, "Bring her in." Sera's blood froze as she helplessly watched another woman appear out of thin air who had her hands tied behind her back and a cloth to muffle her screams, _she looks familiar._ _Really_ _familiar._

And the woman had worn the trademark Inquisition scout armor.

Everything felt as if it was going in slow motion, her blood thawed then boiled with rage when both the Spymaster and _your Grace_ Inquisitor wore completely emotionless stone-flat faces as they all watched this woman be tortured by another venatori. She was whipped with belt buckles and it was then the archer clued in that had to be one of the scars on Lavellan's back, then had a pinprick needle of some sort shoved in and ripped down the skin.

Another scar.

Knives of different sizes or jagged ends, all in the Inquisition scout's back as the woman begged and pleaded for mercy. _How can they fucking watch this...?_ She couldn't take it anymore, she let go of Sylvira's hand and clenched into tight fists as she rose from her chair, her face contorted in a snarl as she glared at the callous women. "How the fuck can you two just sit there and **not care** what's happening to her?!" _That's someone's friend, someone's lover, someone's family._ "Do you even know who that is Syl?!"

"I do." _So frigging calm, as usual._ "I don't think you do." _That's it._ The stoic face revealed nothing and Lavellan simply stared deadpan at her, her exhausted features sagged and her voice slipped into it's authoritative tone, "Sit down. Don't fly off the handle without-"

" **Fuck. You.** " Sera's voice trembled with anger and her eyebrows knit together when the dalish woman made no movements, _she's just sitting there, like everything is fucking fine with this...!_ "If yer so smart then what's her name, huh? Or is she just a _soldier_ doing her _job_ huh?"

"Tavhen." Something feral ignited within but all the rogue did was react instead of think, she gritted her teeth when Sylvira sighed and rubbed her temples as she shut off the crystal's projection. The tortured woman whispered something at some point, but Sera didn't understand it nor did she care about the cryptic message. _She knew she should have served Syl, what?_ "Sera," the dalish woman lifted her head from her hands and stared at her wearily, "Let me remind you I'm the Inquisitor. I rule here, not you," _she's pushing it. She's fucking asking for a smack._

"I'm tired of your tantrums, stop acting like a spoiled princess and-" the slap resounded in the rookery and her skin crawled when Leliana's glare pierced right through her, without another thought she turned heel and shoved the chair out of the way as she stormed down the tower. She thought she was going to **explode** when she heard the monotone _not-frigging-funny_ -joke, "Looks like it's a field day in my chambers today..." It was frightening, how easily things could change. How she wished to spend everyday or go everywhere, and know everything about Lavellan...

And now want absolutely **nothing** to do with her.

* * *

"Now that that's done and over with," Sylvira sighed wearily and her gaze slipped to Leliana's, "You're an intelligent woman, I'm sure you've already connected the dots long before you heard Cally talk to me."

"When you knew which routes my agent should take," the Spymaster clarified, she spoke carefully and lowly so that their voices wouldn't carry as she leaned forward, "Things only a servant would know."

"Slave," the dalish woman corrected bitterly. She had a massive headache and continued to massage both her temples as she closed her eyes to give them a rest. The dejection and resignation in her voice was telling, _but I still have a job to do._ "I trust you'll keep this a secret," _I don't care anymore. I'm tired of all this bullshit._ "I'm sure many more people would defy my orders if they all knew how the _mighty_ Inquisitor used to bend and shake her ass for somebody else." _Not like that's changed still._

"Inquisitor-" the mage raised her bandaged hand as a signal to stop and took a deep breath in, then exhaled shakily. There was a turmoil within her, where there would suddenly be powerful emotions before they dissipated into nothing. "Sera is a liability to the mission in the Winter Palace," _that's an understatement._ Leliana crossed her arms and pushed aside the crystal mechanism, she'd extract more information from it later. "She may very well hinder you and may even endanger you." _When hasn't she? It's always a gamble with her._

"It's nothing I haven't dealt with before, but you're right." _I didn't want her there in the first place, but at this point in time she'll throw an even bigger temper tantrum if I tell her she's not going. So troublesome..._ "I'll think of something." _Princess is a nickname that suits her perfectly, she throws fits and I have to bend._ Sylvira tilted her head left and right to loosen the contracted muscles in her neck, then shrugged her shoulders in small circles to do the same. "What Corypheus and Calpernia spoke of, I want to see that shrine for myself. I don't give a rat's ass if I have to be faithful to Dumat or whoever, what's with everybody believing in dead _gods_ anyways?" She softened a little when she saw Leliana shift uncomfortably just the slightest bit then shook her head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's alright Inquisitor, no harm done." _Because her faith is just as fragile. Soon she'll learn as I have, that you need not believe in anybody but yourself. That you_ _ **can't**_ _trust anybody but yourself._ The Spymaster tapped papers on her desk then rose, "I'll have my agents find the shrine. I've also already sent messenger birds to both Cullen and the red templar tracking party, everything will proceed as ordered."

"Perfect, at least one thing will go the way it should then." Another rub and Sylvira looked over when a raven flew over then plopped down on the desk, cawing and squawking at her. She hadn't flinched, though she did wince at the loud volume and she glanced up when Leliana chuckled softly. Without thinking she stated as if it were an undeniable fact, "You have a lovely laugh." And then swiftly added when her face twisted into an _oh_ _ **shit**_ expression, "Uh keep that between us. I don't want Sera striping me up over a compliment." Thankfully the Spymaster nodded slowly though had skeptical eyes, and Lavellan's attention returned to the raven as she reached out to pet it.

 _She doesn't believe me, she's a doubter and yet she has faith or tries to. She's teetering in the twilight, where I remain to see both sides._ The bird cawed just a touch bit softer and her lips quirked up in a small smile, she ran her finger along it's beak then scratched it's chest, mindful of the hawk-like eyes that honed in on her to watch her every move. She contemplated on it for a moment then shrugged, _there's no harm in telling her if she knows an even graver secret after all._ "I've always liked birds too," she peered straight into the raven's red eyes, _wait a second..._ "A red-eyed raven? That's peculiar." Her head snapped up when Leliana returned to sit down in her seat, a subtle proud smile on her face.

"He's always been a special one, very protective of me. He's taken quite the liking to you it seems, normally he attacks others." _I wonder why? Everybody else seems to hate my guts, perhaps we share something in common?_

"Does he have a name?" The question apparently even took the Spymaster by surprise and her eyebrow rose, piercing blue orbs darted around and bore into dulled citron as both women tried to determine if the other was trustworthy on a more personal level. And then Sylvira saw something for but a brief moment, and averted her gaze so as not to make Leliana uncomfortable by this piece of knowledge, _we've both been hurt and betrayed._ Then to move on from the subject she spoke gently, "Sometimes I think of myself as a bird, you know. I used to be caged, and now I'm free." The comparison unnerved her just a little and she dared a glance at Leliana, "Or so I thought. I'm just in a much larger cage, where I have more room to fly. But it's still a cage."

"A cage that comes in a variety of sizes..." The Spymaster took off her glove and tentatively reached out as the two petted the raven's fine fur, "In that case, isn't everybody in a cage of some sort? There's something everybody feels trapped by." _Cally and I are trapped by the same thing._

"Mm, sometimes I wonder that too..." Their fingertips brushed for a split second and even the feather-light contact made Sylvira extremely uncomfortable. There was only one woman's touch she could tolerate, and even then it wasn't as much tolerance as she would have liked. _If Sera saw this now, her jealousy alone would choke me with a radiating passion even if there's nothing to this. Why do I always have to be the one that bends and agrees? I'm just a bird in a cage to her too._ "Do you think I could have one?"

"What, a raven?" The mage nodded and Leliana's mouth quirked up in a small smile, "I can train one for you, to deliver messages and the like. But it may be wise to keep him or her here for the days you have to leave Skyhold."

"He doesn't have to be trained, I want him to be free." And then she looked up at the ceiling as she pondered then back down, "On second thought, it'll be handy if he knows some tricks. It'll be good for pranks." The musical chuckle had been contagious and her own mouth twitched up until it finally spread in a grin, and her cheeks hurt as her muscles tried to adjust to the abrupt action they hadn't prepared for. "Train it to shit on command too, so he can rain shit on people I don't like. Just chill on the balcony and watch as he attacks asshole nobles. And then people will think it's a sign from the heavens." Her mischief spurred on as Leliana covered her mouth with a fist as she tried to stifle her mirth, Lavellan braced her palms on the table then leaned forward as her eyebrows waggled playfully, "Can you imagine him shitting all over Corypheus? A fucking aerial strike that will put his dragon to shame. That's what's going to save Thedas one day, you'll see."

 _This_ _ **has**_ _to happen now._ "And it'll all be thanks to you." Her grin grew when the Spymaster opened one eye and nodded in agreement, the raven cawed at Sylvira's proximity and she pushed off the desk as she rose from her seat. "Anyways, let's get back to work then," she stretched her arms above her head then spun on her heel, she felt far more refreshed and lighter than whence she came here. It also helped that she noted it to be progress -for herself anyways- in which someone else now knew of what she deemed to be her most shameful secret... And yet she was still treated as her. Not with pity, or sadness, but her for who she is. "Thanks for the break Leliana, I needed that. I'll see ya later."

"The pleasure was mine, Inquisitor," _it seems like she needed it too._ "Also before I forget, Josie told me the tailor will come tonight to take measurements for the uniforms." _Oh right, yeah it'd help if the clothes actually fit us._ Lavellan nodded and the Spymaster rose from the table to return to work, the dalish woman waved goodbye then braced herself for the stairs. _At least it's not as bad as going up._ And just as she had about to descend, something fluttered in her peripheral vision and the red-eyed raven flew to perch itself on Leliana's shoulder when the woman strode to the shrine.

 _It'd be cool if mine does that too, but then I might have to wear a shoulder guard or something. Those talons looked fucking huge._ She turned and shoved her hands in her pockets as she climbed down the stairs, _I'll have to think of a suitable name too, but I want to see him first to see if anything comes out at me then. But now..._ The first thing she had to think of was how to either tell Sera she wasn't going to the Winter Palace or- _wait. If I tell her now while she's pissed at me, chances are she just won't go then. That's highly likely too._

But also the same decision with the most detrimental consequences.

 _It's always decisions today, and it's always the hard ones. Why can't there be a mosquito on someone's ass again?_ A dejected sigh, she decided that for now she'd take a short break in her chambers just to relax and collect her thoughts. She strode across Solas' room with a curt nod to the apostate then entered the main keep, her eyebrows furrowed the slightest bit when she saw Sera hanging out with both Uvun and Grâce at one of the long tables while the kids ate their lunch. Thankfully their backs faced Sylvira, but a small part of her wished it was reversed so she wouldn't have had to see the vicious glare.

 _Well now I can't go to them either, with Princess there. Fuck this is so stupid... How bothersome._ She raked her hand through her hair and gave a friendly tap to Varric's shoulder as she walked away, then waved behind her when the dwarf looked to see who it was. _At least if they've got an appetite then they should be okay, for now anyways._ Her head tilted when there was an elven woman standing beside her door with fresh linen in her arms, _but I already got a bundle this morning...? Well could go for more, maybe I'll take another shower after a smoke._ "Good afternoon your Grace," _your Grace? That's a new one, and I'm definitely not graceful. Well better than your Worship, anyhow._ "I've brought some more towels as instructed, the... Other lady from this morning told me I could wait for you here this time."

 _Other lady?_ Lavellan nodded then opened the door and gestured for her to head inside, a side glance confirmed that the 'other lady' was more than likely Sera. _Why not just dump the towels and head out? Sera just doesn't understand that my time is precious and that I've more important things to do than meet with everybody. This sets me back and just wastes all our time in general._ Still, she knew what the rogue expected and tried to remember which drawer she usually stashed coin purses to give something to this servant, there wasn't any other reason she could think of anyways. Especially since Sera wasn't one to say what one should do - _unless it's me_ \- and unless it was to pass a tip along for that person to gain something.

 _She can't exactly 'tip' a servant to wait for the Inquisitor to nab some extra coin either,_ she bit back a sigh as she made way up the staircase with the woman behind her, her eyes sagged from the weight of exhaustion and her thighs ached from all the stairs. She just had no energy left and every part of her was begging to hit something soft, preferably a bed. _I can't..._ She opened the door to her chambers and held it for the servant who nodded gratefully as she swiftly stepped inside, and just as she strode up the small staircase she heard familiar giggles behind her, _so much for relaxing and sneaking a smoke. Kids are coming to flatten me, no doubt Sera's revenge if she hasn't thrown out all of the outfits Josie requisitioned. They didn't even last a week._

"Uh," Sylvira looked around the cluttered mess in her room then stepped over a pile of clothes, "Here I'll take them-" as she turned her eyes widened and she cussed when the towels hit the floor, " **Fuck**!" Laughter neared and eager footsteps thundered up the last staircase, Lavellan hooked an arm around the servant's neck and pulled her closer into a hug when Sera reluctantly trailed behind the kids. Burning pain ripped into the mage's gut and she gritted her teeth as she seethed at Sera, her other hand tightly gripped the servant's wrist sandwiched in between their bodies, where a blade plunged her stomach. Her citron orbs glowed with rage and bore into the archer's as she seethed hoarsely, "Take the kids out of here, **now**!"

Blood coated her canines and she groaned when the servant tried to twist the blade, she bit back a scream when the woman retaliated and sank her teeth into Sylvira's shoulder. She wheezed breathlessly when Sera remained frozen and terrified just like the children, " **Go** , they can't see this...!" The archer snapped out of her shock and roughly grabbed the confused kids' wrists, hastily tugging them back down the stairs until the door slammed shut. The looks of horror were engraved in the mage's mind and the agony diffused the entirety of her core, it had become increasingly difficult to breathe. She growled menacingly and rasped weakly, "You fucking heartless **bitch** , in front of kids...?" She held the venatori assassin tightly and yelped when the teeth tore deeper in her shoulder, she summoned the last of her strength and swiftly levitated the woman away from her. One hand remained stretched out and she looked at the blade protruding from her abdomen, there was little time left. _Precious time._ It was always in short supply.

"Calpernia says-" and the assassin's bones snapped as she was promptly crushed by gravity when Lavellan clenched her hand into a tight fist, she had absolutely _no fucking interest_ in whatever it was that _fucking cunt_ said. _Another easiest decision of my fucking life._ She stumbled over to the bed, everything began to spin and she felt incredibly lightheaded. She pulled the scarf away then tossed it somewhere, she weakly tugged up her shirt and hissed as she tried to keep her core straight to prevent further damage. Her hands quivered over the hilt of the blade and she barely heard worried shouts in the distance, loud ringing settled in her ears and her heart pulsed as if it was embedded right in her brain.

Purple and black dots clouded her vision and just by touching the hilt she screamed out, but hadn't been aware she had. The dizziness smothered her and just when she yanked the blade out she collapsed backwards on the bed, another blood curdling anguished scream tore through her throat. She vaguely registered the warmth escape her and slither out on her stomach as she applied pressure, she gazed blankly at the support beams and desperately fought against the lightheaded feeling that beckoned her to slip away into the dreaded abyss.

Hands were on her, more voices filtered in through the hazy fog draped over her mind as she furiously tried to shut off the pain. Her head was tilted the opposite way, her mouth pried open and something bitter coated her tongue, she coughed from the repulsive taste and weakly swatted away whoever it was shoved the disgusting liquid in her mouth. Disconnected words traveled through and the jumbled thoughts had no hope of being pieced together, the purple-black dots expanded and engulfed the rest of her blurry vision.

Someone was shouting -perhaps more than one she didn't know- but it was completely incoherent and a different kind of warmth pulsed at her stomach. The bitter taste returned to flood her mouth and she gagged, her head lulled to the side and the coughs encouraged diffusing pain to burn from her head to her toes. There was more screaming, was it her own? Her nerves felt like they were on fire and her veins felt as though they were being _eaten,_ she hadn't been aware that she thrashed nor convulsed as more hands tried to hold her down. The darkness grew stronger and overpowered her will, her eyes squeezed shut as they watered. She didn't want to lose consciousness even for a second. _I can't..._

Reliving the nightmare was **worse** than this.


	26. Read Between the Lines

**Hope you don't enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 12-11-2015

 **AN:** So I lied about the update, evidently. I'm just going to stop typing things like 'this is the last update but maybe I can squeeze another one in' lol. As usual, my whims swept me up and I had too many ideas mulling about in my head needing to get out, and I couldn't think about the others even if I tried. Anyways! In this chapter there may be a lot of confusing things (aka from Cole) because of the wealth of symbolism behind some of the things he says, but hopefully it's still understandable. If I come off as 'character bashing' Cole that's also not my intention, since it's Sylvira's repressed anger/pain getting the best of her when she reacts the way she does. Also to clarify, the first two 'scenes' are separate dreams, and if there are certain lines in Syl's monologue that have you scratching your head in a _what? This fact was never mentioned before..._ It's meant to be that way. Another secret has been boiling in the background for quite a while now, and the reveal is _closer_ than one might think ;)

This is another 'slow' chapter in which I -as usual- got a little too carried away again since I had originally planned to get closer to Halamshiral here, but that's been pushed to the next chapter (how many times have we seen this already, am I right?) This one focuses mostly on Sylvira's personal growth and Sera's resolve, as well as an unspoken promise ;) Next chapter _should_ come closer to plot progress as well as some lighthearted teasing.

 **Warning:** _V_ _ery_ angst heavy as we explore Sylvira's past once again, brace yourself for a bumpy ride. I hope I don't offend any ladies by writing what I have as it is not my intention, I wanted to capture the feelings as best as I could and show the reasons why/how Sylvira is the way she is right now. There are a few topics that may unsettle people in this chapter and I'll be blunt so there's no surprises: implied rape, implied torture/abuse and severe dehumanization. Side effects of reading this chapter may include: headaches, :( or possibly tears, and the overwhelming urge to suffocate me (even my girlfriend warned me this time). On a positive note, this chapter ends rather well if you read between the lines :)

* * *

 **Read Between the Lines**

* * *

 _This again._ "Every part of me still really hurts Cally," the young dalish ignored whatever nonsense lecture and urged desperately again, "I can't do this anymore. Let's run away together tonight, forget this stupid empire thing with Tevinter. We can still free slaves, we'll escape and buy them then release them. They'll be free, on their own terms."

"It doesn't work that way Sylvira," the older girl reached and tugged Lavellan's left sleeve down, her eyes filled with sorrow at the sight of intricate blue lines leftover from another ward Erasthenes had drawn. "Too much freedom is still a snare and one that may make a slave feel even more trapped without knowing what to do, and it's not just about freedom. It's about restoring glory too, so we no longer fear savage barbarians -the Qunari- so that we have the respect we deserve, so Tevinter is as it once was."

"Why? What's the fucking point? The assholes _then_ turned Tevinter into the assholes of _now_ , even if you _change_ it into what _once was_ , it'll eventually turn into this again anyways. So who cares about the glory of a nation populated by assholes? Someone with their head in the fucking clouds like you will eventually come, disagree with your ideas and think oh-aye let's make Tevinter as it once was with slaves, that was fucking genius. We have to think about **us** ," the dalish girl snapped when Calpernia frowned at the swear words, her nerves frayed as she glared at the woman who averted her gaze to the floor at the harsh honesty, "If we stay here any longer, Anodatus will come again tomorrow. Or maybe something like Marius will happen to us next, Master has been giving me those owl-like faces more often. He doesn't approve," the older girl's head shot up, "What if we're next, like Marius? Master will listen to Anodatus or Sporka, sell us to the circle for our _attributes_ -our blood- what if we die here?"

"We won't," Calpernia urged, her eyes watered at the mention of Marius, "Give me time and I can-" Sylvira snatched the parchment with symbols then whirled around in anger, frustrated at the older girl's tendency to remain in her dreamland and fantasies of her -of slaves- having power. _Attached because she was born low, born here,_ the dalish girl stormed out of the library, the hallways turned misty and her eyes burned as her vision blurred, _stupid, Cally_ _doesn't have an ounce of brain_ _._ _Why did I bother trying again?_ _She was right that I couldn't cast that spell, I need her to do it..._ She snuck through the antechamber shortcut of which slaves had been told not to go, but she didn't care, knowing it was just more wards and symbols painted around from leftover experiments Erasthenes and Anodatus did. _Stupid spells,_ she blindly fumbled for the handle of the door to the slave quarters, _need the stupid glasses._ She dreaded wearing them, hated being mocked or shunned since the others thought it was a contagious _illness_ , but it was the only way her eyes would stop burning right now. Never had she realized that the entire time, the burning sensations were because she had been crying. Relieved when she felt the familiar and scratchy feel of her night table, she'd relied on her sense of touch as she opened the drawers to search for the glasses.

When she found the cursed things, she wasted no time sliding them on and blinked a few times for measure, rubbing her temples in a desperate attempt to soothe the pain away faster. _I don't want to stay here anymore, not another day, not another year._ Her arm had begun to act up again, and the bright blue ebbed underneath the sleeve of her shirt. _I_ _ **hate**_ _this,_ her heart squeezed painfully and despair welled up in her, and her mind had already begun to fantasize about her escape. _I've already seen the catacombs, scouted out the routes people_ _are too scared to_ _use when I've gone out on food runs_ _._ She jumped, startled when she spun around on her heels at the sounds of familiar gruff chuckles, her stomach churned with nausea and a lump of dread immediately rose in her throat. It was one of the cooks, the massive burly man had rotten teeth and a crooked grin, his leering gaze made her shiver with disgust. _Not again,_ she gritted her teeth as she braced herself, disconnecting herself from the cruel reality as the man strode to her. _I can't do this anymore..._

Even with magic, she was still weak and levitating mugs was nowhere near as scary as the powerful force Erasthenes had displayed once. He crushed an entire bookcase with a snap of his fingers, but he had never bothered to teach her and would just give that infuriating owl-like frown if she dared ask. Once she had even attempted to entice him with her young body -no longer caring about it- and figured if every other man liked it so much she assumed her Master would as well, but he'd immediately send her off without another word. She thought that maybe, just maybe, if she too wielded and displayed such frightening power then she'd be able to scare off the other slaves that constantly harassed and picked on her when Calpernia wasn't around to protect her. _From now on I'm going to take care of myself, not even Cally can be trusted._ _Nobody can._

"Open your legs Four-Eyes," the cook commanded, "We gotta do this fast, I have to start dinner in five minutes." _Fuck you._ He jerked the dalish girl's left wrist and she yelped, it'd been incredibly sensitive with the engraved runes acting up. _Fuck you, fuck you, **fuck you**!_ He pushed Sylvira on her make-shift hay bed and began working on his belt as he climbed over her, dragging his repulsive tongue along her cheek, _not again. I can't do this anymore,_ she bit back the urges to cry -so as not to give him any satisfaction- as he reached to undo her breeches, the frustration rapidly escalated into pure rage and nausea churned in her stomach. She could feel blood leaking out of her nose and loud ringing settled in her ears, she vaguely registered frantic shouting yet had been panicking when strong dizziness took hold of her. _Master_ _told me of these signs,_ _said this is dangerous,_ fear gripped her heart, _he warned it could kill me,_ all she could see was flashes of blue in the thick haze of agony that draped over her mind, _I don't want to die…!_

Images of the cook over her made something snap within her, her blood boiled and she felt as though she had been burning from the inside until -just as suddenly- it had released as if it pushed _out_ of her and drained from her body. Exhaustion seeped in immediately, darkness draped over her consciousness and her head lulled to the side, and her lungs -or rather her entire body- felt like it was being crushed by something. Her glasses did nothing to appease the blurry vision, yet oddly enough instead of seeing the bright blue seconds earlier…

There had been nothing but crimson red.

* * *

"Master." Sylvira bowed respectfully at the hips then straightened out, her hands clasped politely in front of her and _perfectly,_ her empty yellow eyes bore into the back of Magister Erasthenes' chair. "You summoned me." It took her a while to understand the difference between saying that as a statement or a question, but she understood the consequences and learned quickly that questions garnered the steward's harsh punishment the moment the oblivious magister turned away.

"Yes," the man extended his arm out to the side and gestured with his hand, "Come here, I have something to show you. Sporka leave us," the dwarven steward's eyes narrowed warningly at Lavellan but she pretended not to notice, eye contact increased the count of how many times she'd be whipped the next time she did something _terrible_ enough to garner punishment. She forcibly swallowed her excitement as she strode forward, any time her patron had something to show her it was to teach her something new or regale knowledge of the Old Gods. He was her patron and he was her savior, the one who ironically helped her keep her sanity and sometimes made her doubt about leaving. But even he had his cruel moments, whether he was aware of it or not. He never would be aware, since she was not allowed to _enlighten_ him. He gestured with his hand when the dalish girl came closer, so that she circled around the chair and stood in front of him. Her heart sank.

 _I know what this means._ If she were to be directly in front of him, that always meant that whatever he wanted to show her was a cause and effect of what he was about to do to her. Another experiment. She grit the back of her teeth and willed herself not to pluck at her tattered rags, she disconnected herself from both her emotions and reality before her anger would become the end of her. Her stomach twisted and it felt as though she was literally being stabbed in her lower abdomen, this wasn't a good sign. _Of all times..._ Sweat collected at her brow and her palms felt clammy, the pain occasionally brought her back to reality as she waited with dreaded patience when Erasthenes continued to flip the pages of his grimoire. His eyes darted left and right as he studied the pattern on the page, something Sylvira had already memorized and mentally imagined which way her hands would point or swing to bring the rune to life. It was the only other anchor to latch on to, studying and imagining, being anywhere but here. "Undress, would you? _We_ will need to see how this affects other parts of your body."

"Yes, Master." _We? What a sick fucking joke._ She held little regard for her body, and stripping hadn't been an issue. She didn't necessarily feel fear with this man either, since she knew for a fact he was never interested in her unless it was for magical experiments. Her bright yellow eyes glinted under the dim light of the lantern beside Erasthenes, her calloused hands deftly worked at the ties and binds of her rags as if it were practiced thousands of times before. She folded her clothes and neatly left them in a pile beside her, and just as she hooked her thumbs in her tattered breeches she paused and gritted her teeth harshly. Another sharp pain diffused across her lower stomach and she fought to keep her face blank, a quick glance made her melt in relief when she saw that the Magister had been absorbed by his tome. As much as it hurt, all the agonizing signs were a blessing too. It'd help her ward off the other predators in the household for a few days, all the rumors behind doors whispered that it was she who killed one of the cooks a month ago. She didn't know the truth apart from the bloodied remains that apparently laid on top of her before another slave found them, and she hadn't known how or why the man was dead.

She so dearly wished she had, so she could _fucking_ do it **again**.

Pulling the breeches down, she quickly inspected the insides of her thighs and her lips twitched in a small smile as she inwardly cheered. There were dark garnet smears and a tiny dried pool in the center of her underclothes. _My period, fucking Creators it looks like you exist after all._ "Oh my," her head snapped up and she willed herself not to chew on her bottom lip, this still spelled disaster in another way. But a whip was nothing than the _blade_ the degraded men wielded. Erasthenes averted his gaze then glanced over his shoulder as he called out, "Sporka? Come in here, there's a matter you must deal with the servant." _No. No, no, no, don't call her. At least order me to dress first,_ _ **please**_ _!_ Her eyes reflected horror the moment the dwarven steward entered, and right away the boiling anger had been simmering in Sporka's eyes for Sylvira causing yet _another_ mess. This was one woman who didn't give a flying fuck if the dalish girl heard her behind doors or not, and she often heard Sporka pushing for Lavellan to be sold to the circle or condemned to do nothing but scrub the cellar floors for the rest of her life-like the other mindless slaves now. All Sylvira ever did was cause trouble.

Just by existing.

 _Someone, please help me._ These words were repeated over and over again as the steward sighed then approached the two as the Magister commanded. She ripped the neatly folded clothes off the ground and instead clutched them in her hands, her eyes silently commanding Lavellan to walk naked. "Allow her to redress," Erasthenes interjected, and for a moment the dalish girl regarded the man as her angelic savior. Then it'd been all but blown away, at the harsh realization of what was truly the concern, "Or else she will bleed all over the floors, and someone else will have to scrub the tiles." _Someone, please..._ The underclothes were shoved in her hands with a huff and Sporka glared at her, there was an unspoken promise of punishment now. _Help me._ It was never heeded, she was always alone in this nightmare. Calpernia had started to become more distant the more Sylvira spent time with the Magister, and bitter words were always exchanged when they crossed paths now. _Please... Mamae, babae..._ Her eyes itched immensely as she fought back the tears, she quietly slipped her dirtied underclothes on and desperately willed herself in an alternate reality. Even now the forest was but a distant dream that seemed more like an illusion, a surreal trick of the mind. She longed to see green, listen to the halla when they kicked at the dirt, and wished to smell fresh pine as her mother softly hummed while she made something on the worktable. _I just want mamae again._

Just as she had finished putting on her underwear, Sporka roughly grabbed her arm and the touch alone made her skin crawl as if flesh-eating bugs were burrowed underneath her skin. When they neared the door, the dwarf reached up then fisted her hair and pushed her head down, hissing in her ear that she had to pay her respects to her Master. She would have, she knew very well she had to and was about to, but Sporka was collecting every bit of excuse she could to make the severe punishment even worse. Sylvira felt vulnerable, ashamed of having to walk through the halls with nothing but her underwear and not even allowed to protect her modesty by covering her chest. _Not that it matters anymore,_ nausea thrummed in the pits of her stomach and she felt lightheaded again, her left arm ached immensely by the rough grip and pure dread nearly choked her at her throat when she realized where Sporka was pulling her to. The kitchen.

Where all the cooks were men.

 _No,_ "Please," she choked out and sobbed desperately, " _Please,_ I'll do anything. Anything but that, not that again. _**Please**!_ " _Creators, save me. Mythal, aren't you supposed to protect me? Is this punishment for changing my name?_ Her words were unheeded and the dwarf snarled viciously at her, how could such a household of degraded animals exist? Did all slaves lose their sense of pride, their sense of humanity? _Someone, please help me..._ Streams of tears rolled down her cheeks like a river that had no end and her clothes were discarded, thrown at another slave scrubbing the floors who had empty eyes.

A mindless animal.

One that Lavellan threatened to become now that she was locked all alone in this cage, this sorry excuse of a life. _**Someone**..._ She squeezed her eyes shut as Sporka opened the kitchen door then shoved her inside, she was left to fend for herself, thrown into the pack of wolves who grinned sadistically. _Please, help me!_ And then a hand fell on her shoulder, but she surprisingly hadn't repulsed or flinched. She didn't dare open her eyes, and her hands instinctively blocked her ears as she constantly chanted within her mind, _someone help me, please help me. Someone, anyone, I need-_ "You are not alone." Her eyes snapped open and she found herself in familiar barren plains, her hands fell and her head snapped over her shoulder. _Cole...? What is he doing here?_ "I am here to help." Confusion wracked Sylvira's brain and she took a brief moment to scan her blurry surroundings, her gaze shot down and she saw that she was herself once again, in regular disheveled clothes. _Where-_ "You are in the Fade. Still dreaming, living, but not the nightmare." _How-_ "I heard your cry for help." _But-_ "I want to help," the pale man carefully extended his arms and waited patiently, "I would like to hug you. Varric told me it makes people feel better." Stumped, Lavellan gaped slack jawed then instinctively stepped back as she furiously shook her head no. _Did he see all-_ "Yes. You are hurting, a hurt that holds."

"No fucking shit, really?" Sylvira bitterly drawled sarcastically, "I think I would know-"

"Liquid fire in veins, lava in blood, burning inside out. Pain snaking under skin yet cannot shed it."

" **Shut up**!" The dalish woman seethed vehemently and whirled around, her pride nearly disintegrated into damn near nothing at the knowledge that not only had someone known of her most personal and traumatic experiences... But they had **seen** them. Seen _her_ at her most vulnerable, weakest, utterly helpless. She stomped forward and gestured to the vast expansive space, "If this is the Fade, why won't I wake up? Why are we here, Cole?" And then little pieces of her memory pushed through, her eye twitched when the pale man started once again.

"Flash, too fast. Warmth escaping, wasps flooding, the blade-"

"Answer me Cole, and no more poetic bullshit. Why am I **here** , in the Fade?" She glared over her shoulder, thoroughly incensed and ashamed by everything that had just happened. And knowing that Cole knew that too. She held on to a thread of sanity, swinging to and fro, and all she needed to do was relax one finger...

"You are asleep." And let go.

" **NO FUCKING** **SHIT** **!** " Sylvira clenched her fists and every part of her **screamed** to thrash out, lash out and crush this _fucking_ man in front of her. She wanted revenge, she wanted to make _men_ scream and cry for once, and her judgment had been consumed by the anger that was like-

"Poison," Cole spoke without saying it straight, _as fucking usual._ "Eating away, raw, stinging, blinding." The mage forced her legs to move as she continued to stomp away, she needed to get out of _here_ -this volatile mental state- before she truly did fall apart and hurt someone or attract demons. Collateral damage, for expelling all the negative pent up energy within her, and she stopped when the pale man spoke quietly. "The blade was poisoned."

"What?" Lavellan turned around with an eyebrow risen in confusion, and then more parts of her memory pushed through as they replayed before her very eyes. She watched as a spectator, as the venatori assassin plunged the blade into her gut and her hands instinctively flew to her wound as the pain flooded her once again. Something felt as though it trickled out of her mouth and the metallic taste coated her tongue, but when she stuck a finger inside there had been nothing. It was a recollection, another agonizing memory to be added among so many others. As her and the elven servant dissipated into nothingness, she glanced at Cole again as she hesitantly asked, "Am I... Dead?"

"No." _Okay._ She crossed his arms and stared at him, though he'd been incredibly blurry here. Stupid Fade. _So? What's happening_ _outside the Fade_ _then?_ "You are sleeping in bed," _oh for the love of fucking-_ "Healing, and resting. The others are helping. Sera is sleeping too, with the children." _Sera?_ She wasn't sure if she was relieved or angry with that piece of knowledge, on one hand she knew why Sera had gotten angry and on the other hand, she was beyond frustrated that the archer hadn't listened to her - _as usual_ \- and that her emotions got the better of her before Lavellan had the chance to explain. But she was relieved she wasn't alone, and looked after. _And I miss her, I want to see her._ "Beside you." _What?_ She looked to her side but saw nothing until Cole thankfully clarified, "Sera, Uvun and Grâce are sleeping beside you on the big bed. They miss you too." _Fuck._ "Your heart is swelling, pushing, threatening to burst. That would not be good, you should-" the mage rose her hand and let out a soft chuckle as she gave a slight shake of her head.

"It's not harmful," she scratched the side of her cheek and averted her gaze as she mumbled reluctantly, "It's because I think it's cute." Then she shrugged and decided to change the subject, at the very least Cole would _know_ she wanted to but it was still the matter if he followed along. "So how long have I been out, then? When can I wake up?" _I don't want to sleep or dream anymore._

"I will watch you and protect you here, you can sleep safely now." _Just... Answer my_ _damn_ _questions._ "Questions can be answers too." _Cole just tell-_ "Two days. They do not know when you can wake up."

"Two days? So then it's what, the fourteenth?" The pale man nodded and she clicked her tongue off the roof of her mouth, _t_ _his isn't good, we have to leave_ _by_ _the seventeent_ _h_ _for Halamshiral._ "What do you mean they don't know **when** I can wake up? I have to, Cole. Wake me up."

"I can't. Only you can do that. And you would be in a lot of pain if you did."

"I don't care, I need to wake up!" _Creators give me patience, or I will shove his hat so far up where the sun don't fucking shine._

"It wouldn't fit." _For the fucking love of...!_ Cole strode towards her and she gritted her teeth as she instinctively stepped back, her fear skyrocketed without any warning and her feet remained petrified in the ground. "Frozen, vines tangled around your legs holding you here. You need to shake free, I can help." _What?_ And then her eyes widened when the pale rogue slowly reached up so as not to startle her, then gently squeezed her shoulders. "You **can** break free from the cage, Raven."

* * *

Twisting, grimacing, groaning, all of these signs worried and frightened Sera half to death. But they were _normal,_ they were _good_ signs, _oh yeah it sure looks like it's frigging good. Not._ She carefully extracted herself from behind Uvun, where she had situated herself to hug both the children as they sniffled to sleep beside the unconscious mage. The past two days were absolutely torture, where nobody had answers or good news but everybody had _what ifs_ that never ceased to instill pure dread just at the prospect of it. There was another purge, where Leliana wholeheartedly worked 24/7 and sniffed out the remaining venatori spies. She all too happily sent them to rot in the dungeons, packing them in the same tiny cell at the far end of the prison where the waterfall drowned out the sounds of their screaming.

Nobody was allowed near or around Sylvira's room except the most trusted inner circle, and Bull or Blackwall exchanged guard duty at the entrance of the chambers. Dorian, Solas or Vivienne took care of all the healing, checking bandages, and dosing the antidote as they worked to flush the neurotoxic poison out of the dalish woman's system. The scariest _what if_ was that even if Lavellan were to awaken, she may have irreversible brain or nerve damage. She may not be able to walk, she may not be able to talk, she may not be able to think nor control erratic emotions, her magic may fluctuate and she may even be a danger to those around her. There were far too many _what ifs_ and nothing about hope, and all Sera could do was wait however excruciatingly long it took until her lover opened her eyes and showed them what damage had been done.

At the very least Sylvira's lungs hadn't ceased to function at the time of the attempted assassination and they said that she _shouldn't_ remain unconscious for much longer, but nobody _knew_ for certain. At one point, Sera had to be held back when she went ballistic on Bull for making a joke -in which under any other circumstances both her and **her** Loser would have agreed with- in which _the Boss is an asshole. And assholes always die last, because life's a bitch._ _If it were a slut it'd be easy._ But it hit a raw nerve, and it wasn't so _tee hee haw haw_ when it was a possible life and death matter for the one who has come to mean far **too** much in Sera's life. If Lavellan died she felt as though she would too, or at the very least the part that made her feel whole would be gone and there wasn't any other puzzle piece that would fit the hole.

Another gurgled groan, the archer slid off the massive bed and quietly plopped over to the other side where the unconscious woman laid, then knelt down as she reached for the cloth in the bucket of water. _What happened to doing this for me, stupid? Wake up, yer missing out on another daft fantasy..._ She demanded that any time Sylvira had to be changed, the rogue **had** to be the one to do it. She had already chewed out the tailor and told her to just _fucking guess_ the measurements and work with the clothes the mage had on, there was **no** way anyone was about to see her even half-naked. The scars on her back had already garnered concern from Solas and Vivienne when they had rolled up the shirt to change the bandages, though Sera and Dorian remained quiet and wisely played along as if they were just as clueless. _It'd definitely be a frigging nightmare if these two knew about Syl, 'specially Madame de Snottienne._ Sera rose and carefully slid the blanket down, then unbuttoned Lavellan's blouse to expose her chest. She worked quickly and silently so as not to wake the kids, she wiped away the sweat that nearly poured out of the dalish woman's skin and planted a reassuring kiss on her lips. "You'll come back to me," she whispered, "Right? You have to." _I don't care if she's in pieces, I'll stitch her back together._

A chastising pebble dropped on her mind, if Sylvira woke up would she still want to see Sera? Would she still want to kiss, or even talk? Guilt welled up in the archer, if she had just clued in faster in the morning or if she hadn't told the jittery woman to wait for Lavellan then none of this would have ever happened. _It's because of me she's here._ She gnawed on her bottom lip in frustration and her eyes itched, she already cried about this countless times and she wasn't about to do it again when Blackwall was on guard below the last small staircase to the chambers. The grizzled warrior would turn all fatherly-like and it was _fucking weird,_ but at the same time, she had become something similar for Uvun and Grâce, _which is even fucking weirder._ She'd been brought back to reality when Sylvira's head lulled towards her, eyelids tightly squeezed shut and features contorted in pain. Her forehead sheen with sweat had creased and her lips parted just the slightest bit to reveal the canines that grit behind, a pained protest escaped her throat. " _Please,_ I don't want to see... No Coal..." _Coal? Black lumpy rocks?_

 _ **I'll dream of things I don't want to remember.**_

Talking was a miraculous sign, however hoarse, quiet, and damning it was. _Maybe that's what some of the burn scars on her back are from..._ Not knowing what else to do, the archer dipped the cloth in the water then wrung out the excess drops. She wiped the cool linen along the forehead and sides, trailing tender kisses in her wake in hopes that **somehow** the mage could still feel her in the dream. _But what if it makes it worse?_ And then she stilled, not only conflicted with her moral conscience over her debatable guilt but also at the prospect that she was possibly hurting Lavellan even **more**. She dropped the cloth in the bucket, her fingers trembled as she did up the buttons of the disheveled blouse damp with sweat and trapped heat. There was a war in her mind between hope, urges, feelings and cruel doubts, her entire body quivered with anger that casually scraped away what little glue held her together. _I already made things worse, when I blew up at her. And Red 'told' me_ -it was actually a very threatening explanation really- _who that chick even was. Tavhen. Fucking bitch tried to poison us and now here's Syl..._ Her hands clenched into fists and she stared at the twisted face that lay before her, _if I didn't blow, then she wouldn't be here. I might as well have stabbed 'er._ Her ears perked at the rasp and breathless whisper that sounded more like a plea, and she immediately dropped on her knees to shuffle closer, " _Sera..._ I want to see her."

"I'm here," the archer searched for the delicate hand underneath the blankets and grasped it, she gave a gentle squeeze, "I'm right here Syl." She smoothed away the ample bangs that stuck to the shiny forehead, there was no end to the sweat or groans and she hadn't once seen Lavellan have a peaceful expression as she slept. Constant agony, and the mage more than likely saw no end to the tunnel she was trapped in. _It hurts, this frigging hurts_ _to watch and not be able to do_ _ **anything**_ _._ Another barely audible murmur as Sylvira breathed her name, and the rogue rose higher on her knees as she pushed the disheveled bangs to press her lips to the creased forehead. "I'm here," she chanted back, "I'm here," _always, forever._ "I won't leave." _Not again, never._ "If you wake up you'll see me, just wake up. Open yer eyes luv. You'll see me..." She slowly stood and bent at her hips as she rested their foreheads together, " _Please._ I'm right here, you'll see me if y'just look Syl." And then her heart skipped a beat, her gaze snapped to the eyelids still tightly squeezed shut.

" _Kiss me..._ "

... _What?_

"Sera... Kiss me..."

Something smelled **awful** here. _Didn't brush her teeth though._

"Sera," _maybe it's a fart?_ "I d-dying. Need life-saving kiss..."

 _Oh._

"Seriously?" There was a _grin_ in the archer's voice as she tried to keep her volume contained so as not to alert anyone or wake the kids just yet. " **This** again."

"Shut up and fucking kiss me already. _Fuck_." And the rogue obliged all too happily as she crushed their lips together, she wasn't about to squander her lucky chance if it was just the heat of the moment in which Lavellan had forgotten about what she had done. _Breath smells like_ _shite_ _. Fuck it, still love it._ It could be the last kiss, in a while, depending how the mage handled the wealth of information that would surely leave her puzzled soon. _Such a loser,_ Sera's eyes closed as tightly as possible to stop the damned tears from leaving them, _I'm happy, not sad, the fuck do I wanna cry for?_ Happy alone hadn't been a strong enough word to describe it, and in that moment a multitude of overpowering emotions swept over her when she felt familiar itchy bandages scrape along her cheek. A rush of air hit her mouth and her heart fluttered when Sylvira spoke gently, "I missed you."

"You were sleepin' Syl. Didn't you dream of me?"

"If I dreamed about doing whatever I wanted to you, do you think I'd be awake right now?" _Heh. Fair point._ Delicate lips melded seamlessly with hers and the hand moved past her cheek to cup her nape, pulling and holding her as if the woman was afraid she'd disappear. And then cruel reality pried them apart, after sounds of an incredibly creaky door -evident to just how often people came by **without** booze as a tribute- snapped them out of their moment. " _Shit,_ " Sylvira whispered, her eyes darted to the staircase then back to Sera, "I'm still asleep, I don't wanna deal with everybody's bullshit just yet. Pretend you're uh... Washing me or something." _I was._ The archer fought desperately hard to stifle the laughter in her chest and nodded in agreement, she swiftly knelt down and wrung out the cloth in the bucket. She caught the curious glance before citron orbs slipped shut, and saw the subtle smirk on Lavellan's face, _uh huh. She didn't think I actually would, did she?_ Easily unbuttoning the blouse just to expose the collarbones, the rogue glared over her shoulder as footsteps climbed up the stairs. A familiar certain tevinter man tensely greeted Blackwall on the way up, and Sera groaned when she met Dorian's gaze.

"Go 'way Moustache, she's doing fine." Normally, she'd have chewed the man out for not coming here _sooner_ to ensure Sylvira was _more_ than fine. This was her first mistake, and she nearly winced when Dorian's head tilted in confusion from her switch, _fuck. Shoulda been pissed, Sera, shoulda been pissed._

"Are you quite sure? She seems to be turning her bed into a waterfall," the tevinter mage rolled up his sleeves and strode over as he fished for the bandages in his satchel. "Do we need to change her dressing again or is it fine?" _Piss, I didn't look yet. Shit and Syl's awake too... This isn't good._

"Haven't checked. Might have to," she noticed a slight eye twitch and inwardly defended herself, _not my fault c'mon!_ "Gimme the bandages, I'll do it myself." Another strange look, it was common knowledge that a second person was needed to push and keep the heavy dead-weight sitting up. **Definitely** not a one person job. _Uh... Shit now what do I do?_ Things were getting out of hand, and fast.

"Right..." Dorian handed her the bandages and glanced at the exhausted children who remained heavily asleep, he shrugged off his boots and carefully climbed on the bed in between both the _unconscious_ woman and kids. "I'll hold her up then." _Safe! Sort of._ Now the obstacle here was praying to everything she could think of that Lavellan wouldn't be in pain, since screaming in agony would probably be a relatively good sign the mage was awake.

Probably.

 _Please don't hurt, please don't hurt, please don't hurt,_ she chewed her bottom lip in worry as she watched the man lower and hook his arm underneath Sylvira's neck, gently guiding her into sitting. "This isn't good," Dorian murmured, _what? What isn't?_ "She's lighter than usual," _oh **fuck** ,_ "She's been losing weight." _SAFE!_

"Yeah right," Sera smirked mischievously, she could have quite a bit of fun with this. "Her pudginess saved her life, stopped the blade from goin' deeper." That subtle eye twitch threatened what little control she had in stopping herself from full out laughing, _this is **too** good._ All this acting, this pretending, and for what? The chance to steal a few more kisses, before the dalish woman would be swamped and ambushed by overbearing advisors or companions to calm the shitstorm the attempted coup d'état caused. _She'd rather kiss first then figure out what happened to her after. Friggin' cheesy in her own way_. _And daft, Loser._ She carefully rolled up the shirt and lightly brushed her thumb along the bandages, no eye twitch, it hadn't _seemed_ to be painful. Did that mean the healing had done it's job? She dreaded peeling the gauze away, the swollen purple flesh and dark burgundy scar never ceased to haunt her. She went from guessing what the causes were for the scars on Sylvira's back, to becoming the reason for one in which the mage would always see if she looked down. Guilt welled up in her and her fingers quivered as she hesitated, she chewed on her lip and her eyebrows furrowed when Dorian gently inquired.

"We can switch, Sera. You hold her and I'll change the bandages, okay? It'll give me a chance to inspect the scar and see if I can speed up the healing process some more." The rogue nodded reluctantly and switched so that her arm hooked around Lavellan's nape, her other hand snuck under the blanket and she gripped the dalish woman's hand to squeeze apologetically. She stood closer to the bed and gently pulled so that Sylvira's head laid against her chest, the mage couldn't afford to help sit up or else Dorian would notice her contracted muscles working to keep her there. _Plus, that's **got** to hurt._ The tevinter man peeled away the bandages and Sera averted her gaze to the matted golden hair tickling her nose, she lowered to kiss and stayed there. The hand clenched hers tightly when Dorian's finger brushed along the fragile scar, a light green mist pulsed from his hands and his eyebrows knit in concentration. "I'm not detecting any anomalies nor toxins in her system," there was an overwhelming sense of relief in his voice and he smiled as he worked, "She might wake up in the next day or so." _Hm. Yeah._ Sera fought not to smirk when the delicate hand enclosed over her own gave a playful squeeze, fingertips brushed along her palm and drew feather-light circles. She pressed her lips harder in the golden hair in response, _lots of kisses for this. Tons. Always._ Another brush and bright particles embedded themselves in the purple-red scar, Lavellan's hand tensed for a brief moment then relaxed as the tevinter mage explained, "She doesn't need fresh bandages anymore. The scar tissue is strong enough not to rip," _ugh gross,_ "And if you like, you can even massage it gently for her."

"Massage it? Won't that hurt her?"

"It'll make her uncomfortable at most until she gets used to the sensation, but it'll encourage oxygen to flow to help the wound heal faster and stop excess scar tissue from building up, so it won't be so prominent." _Is Syl listening? Coz some of this is woosh to me._

"Massaging is good, got it. I'll-"

"Okay enough of this." _WHAT THE FUCK SYL?!_ Dorian's jaw slackened and dropped as he gaped incredulously, the citron orbs snapped open and she carefully pushed herself away from Sera to sit straighter, "Dorian out. Oh and grab the kids too. I want one hour alone and-" she rose her hand before either person protested to the madness in her plan, "Nope. Inquisitor's orders. One hour alone with Sera, I have something incredibly important to do." _Me?_ Blackwall climbed up the staircase to confirm if he hadn't been hallucinating the perceived ghost's voice and Sylvira pointed to him, "Perfect. I'm going to pretend I'm still knocked out while you help Dorian grab the kiddos, Sera and I have to talk."

 _Oh fuck._

At that the archer had already begun to sweat nervously, her palms clammy as she watched Lavellan carefully lower herself to lay down. Everybody exchanged both hesitant and uncertain looks until the dalish woman glared warningly, "That was an **order** people. Move it, on the double." Dorian cautiously slid off the bed and Blackwall frowned as he strode over, the two men looked to Sera who was at a loss of what to say or do. Her fight and flight instincts were on full alert, and what she had _assumed_ would be a passionate and forgiving make out session _seemed_ like it was rapidly turning into one that would more than likely be filled with heated venom now that Lavellan's mind came to. There still wasn't any certainty in just what kind of damage the neurotoxic poison caused, was this trifling with the woman's judgment, or emotions? Nobody knew. One thing was certain though.

Never defy _this_ Inquisitor's orders.

Citron orbs slipping shut, Blackwall and Dorian carefully worked together to pull the exhausted children closer to the edge of the bed. Uvun eventually stirred when she had been pulled into the grizzled warrior's embrace, but hadn't caused a ruckus. Anytime they were extracted from the room it was either to be forced to eat when neither of the kids had appetites anymore, or _Big Sis_ was about to undergo something that simply couldn't be seen. _She ain't stupid. She knows that bitch hurt Syl._ It hurt to see everybody else treat the children as clueless and innocent when they no longer weren't, but at the same time it hurt when Sera realized that Uvun and Grâce were forced to mature beyond their years, thanks to their own scars. _It ain't right. But life never was..._ As soon as armored footsteps thudded down the staircase and the creaky door groaned, Sylvira's eyes snapped open and her gaze bore into the rogue's. The silence had been positively deafening and Sera willed herself not to look away, guilt threatened to suffocate her and she'd honest to Maker had been a little fearful at the abrupt change of pace and mood. Her heart sank at the mage's heavy sigh, "Why are you looking at me like I'm about to kill you?"

 _Because it's my fault you're here. Why wouldn't you?_ Sera's mouth parted but sealed, her voice died at her throat and her resolve wavered under the piercing gaze. Her eyebrow rose in confusion when the dalish woman shimmied up on her elbows then grunted along the way, one leg had been risen beneath the blanket and it seemed as though she was trying to push herself to the headboards, "What're y'doing Syl?" _What happened to something important to do, and talking?_

"S-sitting," a tired huff, "Up, or trying to." The leg underneath slackened then fell with a soft thud, Lavellan groaned frustratedly and traces of pain ebbed and flowed through her features as she tried over and over again. Her arms quivered slightly and anxiety thrummed deep in the archer's belly, _this isn't a good sign. This was s'posto be a 'what if' only,_ she chewed on her bottom lip as she watched Sylvira struggle before she snapped, " **Fuck**! I can't even sit up by my fucking self!" _This isn't a good sign._ Her eyes watered and her eyebrows knit, the mounting guilt had made her feel like the biggest damned _arsehole_ in the world. And then she gaped in surprise when a hand awkwardly thrust out, the dalish woman averted her gaze and didn't dare look at Sera, "Promise me you won't make fun of me?"

"For what?" She winced at the hoarse quality in her throat, but that wasn't nearly as bad as the prospect that she may have single-handedly disabled her own lover for life. She didn't dare imagine what it would do to the woman's pride and spirit.

"For..." Another heavy sigh, "I have an hour with you. H-help me... Help me sit up, my stomach's killing me. I feel like shit and I stink like it too, I want to shower." And then relief trickled in, _right, her stomach hurts a lot. That's why sitting's harder. Right. Okay..._ The rogue nodded and pulled away the blanket then held out both hands, Lavellan's slipped in hers and together they worked until the mage sat on the edge of the bed. _She can stand, right? Her legs will work._ She gulped audibly and Sera's eyes flickered to and fro until Sylvira gently called out, "Hey, why the hell are you so nervous?" And then a lump formed in the archer's constricted throat and her voice locked away, she wouldn't even be able to choke out a sound. Her heart squeezed painfully and her eyes burned as they watered even more, the inner turmoil had been exhausting.

For the past two days she had heard nothing except all the things that could go terribly wrong with Sylvira, and now her doubts effectively blew away her hope. She was just waiting for that moment, for everything to turn to utter shit, and yet instead of steeling herself for that moment she descended into the pits where a ruthless chastising voice waited to tear her apart. "Sera?" And then her stomach fluttered, her eyes widened in disbelief when all it took was a simple tug for the mage to stand with her support, albeit with pained grunts along the way. _She's standing. She's fucking standing and they said she might not. Did it so fucking casually too, like it wasn't a big deal._ It felt as though she was on a bumpy ride with a wild untamed steed, happiness would threaten to choke her and then dreaded fear threatened to make her lose her shit. She'd been so damn close to lose it too, when Lavellan's hands slipped out of hers, _don't let go. Don't leave again._

Only to frame her cheeks.

"Hey..." One palm slid to the back of the rogue's neck as Sylvira rested their foreheads together, "Talk to me love, what's wrong?" And then she lost it. The dam broke, the floodgates opened, everything that _could have_ gone wrong poured out in tears and Sera leaned back only to bury her face in the crook of the mage's neck. "O-oi, Sera? What the fuck, is my face so beat up and ugly it's made you cry or what?" _Loser._ A slight chuckle in between choked sobs, the archer rose one hand in between the two and gripped the scarf that she daringly wore around her own neck throughout the entire ordeal. _So stupid, daft, why m'I cryin'? She's fine._ The other fell and clutched at the frail and damp blouse, _she's fucking_ ** _fine_** _, she's normal. Alive. Here._ Her lungs burned and ached for air, her ribs protested and her heart swelled with relief, _it's all so good it hurts. So stupid._ She tried to stifle her tears and cried harder when she felt a palm weave into the back of her hair, another arm curled around her waist.

 _Should be her, not me. Stop being a frigging baby._ "I've never seen you like this before," came the soft murmur, "You were that worried about me?" There was no denial this time, no urge to defend herself for no unknown reasons. She simply nodded fervently, honestly, and clung tighter in fear in case if this was all a cruel dream, where she would wake up and see a pale, frail and lifeless body in **their** bed again. "Well, I'm alright. Stinky and achy like a bloody granny, but alright." Another humorless chuckle in between sobs and Sera pressed her face harder in the dalish woman's neck, only to ease a little when she felt the weakened body tense in kind. "Come on, I'd like to sneak that shower in. Preferably with you, if you're feeling up for it."

"You don't," the archer lifted her face and peered into the citron orbs that reflected for a brief moment, she didn't dare mention the fact that she just nearly caught Lavellan crying too, "Wanna hear what happened?"

"Cole explained a great deal to me in my dream," _the fuck? She dreamed of Creepy?_ Sera's eyebrow rose in confusion and a slight tinge of jealous anger laced her nerves, the mage stole a chaste kiss as she swiftly explained to quell the fire, "He saved me from my nightmare." _So... She did have bad dreams..._ "Then he told me about what went on here, in a very infuriating mind-boggling way." _When is it not?_ "I'd rather not get into it, I'm sure everybody else will be more than happy to tell me all sorts of painful details," _like how they did with me._ "Unless, you're one of those that would be happy to tell me?"

" **Fuck** no." Sera stepped away and held out both her hands, "Happy to forget about it."

"Aw, I'm touched. Is that your way of admitting it was the worst two days of your life?" _Two days, Creepy even told her how long she's been out? Fuck that's so... Creepy..._ The archer huffed and roughly squeezed Lavellan's hands in revenge, a smirk on her face when the mage chuckled until she hissed, "Ow! Don't make me laugh that fucking hurts," and the smirk disappeared. _Piss, this is so messed up._ Sylvira had been focused on walking, her pained grimace locked under a forced stoic facade when she stepped forward with her right leg, the same side as her injury. Sera stopped and took a brief break when the mage seemed to be out of breath and gulped more often, but wisely made no mention of it. " _Shit..._ " Her eyebrows furrowed when the wounded pride made it's appearance regardless of her efforts, "You must think I'm pathetic, huh? Can't even walk, and I was too stupid to catch on to the obvious hints that fucking bitch dropped like they were antivan grenades." _Oh_ ** _hell_** _no. What's this rubbish?_

"It's not yer fault Syl," Sera urged, "You were really tired and you can't know everything. I'm the one..." Her eyebrows furrowed when weary citron orbs peered _into_ her, her teeth worried the bottom of her lip as she reluctantly finished, "I told her to wait by your door, nab some coin. Then she _fucking_ nabbed-"

"Stop." A small smile, and Sylvira grunted a little as she stepped closer, "If it's not my fault it's not yours either. Fair deal?" _But it_ ** _is_** _, I almost frigging killed-_ "It was thanks to you I was saved after all."

 _Okay,_ " **What**?" _She's got this completely mixed up, maybe her head is screwy? Now she's bloody lost it.  
_

"If you didn't come, I'd have bled out or the poison would have killed me." A shudder rippled through their bodies, the prospect of just how close to death Lavellan was downright frightening. "You wouldn't have been able to run and get help, I'd have been dead long before anyone would think to look for me unless they **needed** something from me." And then Sylvira's expression darkened, "Or the kids would have found me. Or I could have even been killed earlier, since I'm assuming you met her in the morning." Sera nodded guiltily and averted her gaze until her chin was gently guided back to look at the mage, "It's not your fault. You can't know everything either." The rogue tried to search for even the subtlest hints of _bullshit,_ but found none. Her heart squeezed and swelled at the same time, it'd been an emotionally trying two days and this hadn't helped. Instead her resolve had been renewed, she rose on her toes and slowly pulled Lavellan to meet on the same level, where the wound wouldn't be antagonized. "I can't stay mad at you love," the whisper tickled her mouth, and delicate lips trailed butterfly kisses across her freckled cheekbones to her ears, _stay mad?_ _So she is, from before..._ "I **need** you, Princess." _But it's all good now innit?_

"Princess?" A huff, "Really?" Sera rolled her eyes when the mouth pressed to her ear spread in a grin, she'd let the woman get away with it this time. _'Til she's_ _alright_ _anyways. Then I'll smack her._ Until she thought of something better, and leaned away as she too grinned back at the mischievous citron orbs. "Coulda sworn I was the _Queen_ and you were **my** _King_."

"Hm." A brief glance up at the ceiling and then back down, an affectionate smile pulled Sylvira's lips. "Checkmate."

* * *

Every part of Lavellan wouldn't stop quivering, every trembling movement filled with uncertainty if her body was going to listen to her or not. Why the _fuck_ was it this damned hard to move? At this rate she'd be a foaming frothing corpse at the Palace, and she had a nation to save.

Now tackling a shower was her greatest foe.

Shame filled her for **needing** help, whether she wanted it or not. Sera had to be her anchor, her stabilizer, her mover, her everything. She had to instruct the archer how to pull and simultaneously twist the chain to ensure the gate would lift properly, and let water trickle through. She had to wait and maneuver as the two cautiously worked together to get each leg in the bucket, since she couldn't lift her right one without agony nor could she put weight through it to balance if she lifted her left. _I'm starting to think I should have listened to Cole and stay the fuck asleep, instead of pushing him to help me wake up._ _This is pathetic. I'm pathetic._ Yet all she saw was nothing but worry in the rogue's eyes, no pity, no shame, no looks that suggested she was a lesser being. Just a woman who was in a hell of a lot of pain. "Hey Syl," Sera pointed to the small container beside the shower on the floor, "That's yer nice fruity stuff, right? Want me to put it on ya?"

"No," Sylvira hastily corrected herself when it sounded rather harsh and bitter, well she was, but not at the rogue. Just the entire frustrating situation in general. "Uh, I mean, well can you reach it for me? The cloth too. I doubt I'll be able to bend, but I can put it on just fine." Slowly but surely asking for help came a little easier each time, and it helped that Sera made no mention of it nor didn't seem to mind. The small container and cloth were in her hands in no time, and she looked down at the archer who stood in the main brunt of where all the water poured down, big hazel eyes blinking rapidly and hands swiping away to ensure she hadn't missed a single second. _Creators... What did I do to deserve you?_ And then her lips quirked up in a soft smile as she popped the cork lid off the container then rose the cloth, lathering it with both water and creamy scrub until she handed the container back to Sera. Her hands shook slightly even if she willed herself to be stable, no such luck. _It's like I've got a massive hangover._ "At this rate you'll never enjoy the shower if you stare at me like I'm about to disappear, love."

"... _might..._ " _Huh?_ She wasn't sure if it was just her ears playing tricks on her or what, but that was the only word she picked up from the barely audible whisper. "Uh," Sera's lips quirked up in a small smile, "We switching spots so you can wash yourself or what?" _So you can watch my back like a hawk? I don't think so._ Instead, Lavellan reached out and grasped the archer's wrist as she ignored the trembling and crawling of her muscles, the other shook slightly until she firmly rubbed the cloth up Sera's arm. "Syl? What are you-"

"Did you forget? I've been wanting this since Val Royeaux, fucking assassins. It's always gotta be assassins," she pouted exaggeratedly, "Or kidnapped. If I'm captured even one more time I may very well lose my god damned mind." She hoped the lighthearted joking would ease her lover up a little bit, and her head ached. Apart from all the trembling, the throbbing at her gut, the pulsing behind her eyes, she still felt compelled to reassure and comfort Sera. _Why? It doesn't make sense. I should be focused on myself first._ Then again, she already knew her answer: feelings. No matter how bothersome, how detrimental they were to her own cause, she couldn't help but heed them. Razor sharp slits watched her - _like a hawk anyways_ \- and she sighed tiredly, "Will you quit looking at me like I might pass out any second now? I'm **fine**."

"Sorry~ for worrying," came the mumbled retort, and the mage's eye twitched. _Maker's hairy balls, she frustrates me and makes me love her_ _too damn much_ _at the same time._ And then she stilled for a brief moment, when Sera smoothed her drenched hair back with her free hand as she tried to look up through the water crashing down on her, _of all that's fucking holy she's-_ "Hey... Syl?"

"Mm?" Sensory overload, Sylvira averted her gaze now that she wanted to do nothing more than crush the short woman between her and the stone cold wall as she proceeded to kiss the sense out of the archer. Her mind worked in overdrive mode as it suddenly started processing everything in a far more inappropriate manner: how the mango scent tickled her nose and how she knew it was on _her_ lover's body, how their shallow breaths were - _not for the right reason_ \- due to the hot water suffocating the oxygen in the air, and how positively captivating it was to see Sera _drenched_ like this. _But s_ _he's about to be soaked for the right reason._

"Can I try massaging?" _Uh. What?_ Anxiety started to settle in and the mage didn't know what to say, she definitely didn't want to be touched right now. And then she glanced down to where Sera's thumb hovered near her scar, and nearly melted in relief. _O_ _h. **T** **hat** kind of massaging._ Slightly disappointed that she'd been derailed from what she wanted to lead into an inevitably steamy moment, she nodded dejectedly and sucked in a breath when the thumb gently prodded just above her scar. _Didn't she-_ and then her heart raced, when the thumb slowly trailed up until it thankfully stopped, where the base of the fingernail rested underneath the swell of her breast. "Say stop any time you need to, luv." _Oh._

 ** _This_** _kind of massaging._

Nervousness churned in her belly and Lavellan braced one palm along the stone wall over the rogue's shoulder, she tightly gripped the cloth in her other hand as she looked down to watch. _This_ _isn't making it any steamier._ Her gaze was glued to the calloused hand that simply explored the more innocent parts of her: her stomach, hips, collarbones and shoulders. _It's Sera. I trust Sera._ Still, her breath hitched in her throat and it was increasingly harder to breath, the hand against the wall was her only support. She missed the glances the rogue stole from time to time to check on her, and all she could think of doing was chanting that it was Sera touching her; that it was harmless, that it had felt good - _because it does_ \- and that despite her current pathetic excuse of a state, she was still _wanted_ and looked at like she was _magical chocolate cake._ A pulse in her peripheral vision, her left shoulder glowed for a brief moment and the archer's hand faltered until Sylvira urged, "Don't stop." _I'm scared._ "It feels good." _It is, it feels good and it **is** good._

"Syl, your eyes-"

"Don't stop." _It's Sera._ "I won't hurt you if that's what you're worried about." _She won't hurt me._

"I'm worried 'bout hurting _you_ ye daft tit," a subtle fond smile, the rogue reached up and playfully flicked at Lavellan's nose, "No rush, Syl. We'll get there someday, yeah?" _Someday? She's not one to wait, never has been. How does she know?_ "Don't havta push yourself, we'll always get to try this another time." _Always?_ Instead the archer gingerly plucked the cloth from Sylvira's tightly clenched fist after she soothingly rubbed the forearm to relax the contracted muscles, then gently wiped along the mage's collarbones until the mango scent tickled both their noses. _Someday, always, time._ And then it hit her.

" **Oh my fucking god**."

"Huh, what?" Sera's head snapped up nervously, she looked to be regretting something after Lavellan's _un_ expected outburst. "Syl wh- _w_ _ah!_ "

And now she was crushed against the stone cold wall, with a tall woman kissing the sense out of her.


	27. Connecting the Dots

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 01-13-2016

 **AN:** Happy [belated] new years! Sorry for taking so long to update, with everything else I had in the way my main stories sat on the back burner. I'm gonna spare the excuses and long rambling just so that I'm not repeating it in every main story update (I'm assuming most of my readers have read the other stories and maybe have already seen Unbreakable's latest update) but I did want to point out one thing that I've never known about fanfiction for all that years I've been using it lol.

In the center just above the 'hope you enjoy' and below the story summary there's a little "menu" where you can customize your reading experience. You can change the font size, font type, the spacing and the contrast. I seriously never knew this lol. I figured I'd share that tidbit with you (the black background and white font looks pretty badass and I think it actually suits DA:I's theme/atmosphere a little more than plain white with black font).

 **Personal recommendations:** Of course it's totally up to you, but so far I like this. _Font:_ Helvetica (may need to adjust the size), _Spacing:_ full or 3/4, expand (expand should make it easier on your eyes for those lengthy paragraphs), and then _Contrast:_ black background white font. Keeping the 3/4 spacing in mind I'll try and keep the paragraphs relatively short just so they aren't huge blocks of text like past chapters (fixed many of Terra's chapters that suffered from like 20 sentence paragraphs lol). Again this is just what appeals to me personally, have fun playing around with the settings yourself :)

 **Cole:** As a side note, his personal mission hasn't been done yet so perspectives alternate between 'spirit' and 'man'. Sera still sees him as _It_ and Sylvira alternates between perspectives (with an anomaly like him that deviates from everything she's ever known or studied, she essentially can't make up her mind what he is). If I don't get carried away (as usual) like I had with this chapter, then the Inquisition should be at the Winter Palace in the next chapter or two :) By the end of this chapter it's Matrinalis the 15th and the group 'leaves' on the 17th, so we'll see what happens. Enough rambling, **on to the story!**

* * *

 **Connecting the Dots**

* * *

Creak. Clangs. Voices. All of which have both Sera and Sylvira sweating buckets on top of the water crashing down on them. "Syl," the archer whispers, "This is **not** fucking good." _I_ _ **know**_ _that already!_ Lavellan tried to communicate this through her eyes and quickly reached over to pull the chain off the hook to stop the water from running, her lust-addled mind tried to work but her thoughts just felt _so_ damn sluggish. The armored footsteps and orlesian accent had been clear as day, and the mage couldn't help but groan as her head dejectedly hung to rest on Sera's shoulder.

"Calm down Josie," _it's fucking Leliana. We're fucked._ "I'm sure she's fine," _did they bump into Dorian and Blackwall? Creators this is stupid._

"How can you remain calm even at a time like this?" Josephine definitely sounded panicked, and there were more footsteps heading across the room outside the bathroom door. "First she is almost killed, and now she's **missing**!" _Okay there's reason to panic, I get that, but our fucking clothes are out there. And the towels._

"Syl," Sera murmured with clear worry, "What the fuck do we do?"

"I'm thinking," Lavellan mumbled back, _usually I don't give a shit because whatever. But I have yet to put the cream on my back_ _to cover the scars_ _and Sera might kill me if they see me naked._ And then they stilled when the armored footsteps neared to their side of the room, _oh fucking hell._

"Check the rooms Josie, I think I heard voices," _she's not even an elf and she's got fucking good hearing, what the hell is this?!_ The two elves looked at each other and had very clear _oh_ _ **shit**_ expressions, so Sylvira did the only thing she could think of. She twisted slightly and grit the back of her teeth when her stomach painfully protested to the swift movement, then circled her arms around Sera's shoulders who yelped from the sudden embrace. The footsteps outside the door immediately thundered towards them and Lavellan sucked in a deep breath as she braced herself, she turned so that the archer's back faced the door and not her own. She hugged Sera, skin to skin, front to front, all in an effort to protect the rogue's modesty -if there was any- and her own pride.

This was _fucking_ heaven and hell.

As soon as the door swung open, Sylvira grinned as nonchalantly as she could and rose one hand to wave while she kept her arms around the archer's firm shoulders. "Y-yo, yeah we're fine in here." Her patience had been effectively cut in half and it hadn't helped when Sera stiffened against her, the feel of breaths tickling the top swell of her mounds along with the rogue's breasts pressed directly beneath her own made her mind go haywire. The nervous ingrained fear threatened to explode her gut and overwhelm all her senses. _Fuck, this is too much. Can't do this. Have to, but I can't. Shit, I can._

"O-oh my..." Josephine's eyes widened and her dark complexion still had red vividly expand across her nose and cheeks, her hand flew up to her mouth and she seemed at a loss of what to do or say. _Get the fuck out! Shit, shit,_ the chest that pushed against her with each breath Sera took easily gnawed away at her control, her left arm flared and painful tingles hummed stronger as the current cycled from her shoulder to the very tips of her fingers. Pressure sat at the bridge of her nose and she damn near groaned, _this is about to cause a bigger shitstorm than the assassination._ "My apologies for intruding Inquisi-um-are you feeling alright?"

 _Just leave dammit, of course I'm alright!_ Lavellan's voice had been all but locked away as her throat gradually constricted, anxiety thrummed in the pits of her belly and she could _feel_ the archer's heart hammering against her. Or was her own just beating that hard? Instead she settled for a nod and regretted it soon after, a headache pulsed behind her eyes and the ferocity of which she bobbed her head up and down left her feeling slightly dizzy. She was thankful when Leliana slid her hands over Josephine's eyes, but the sly smirk infuriated her to no end.

"See Josie? I told you she's fine." The Ambassador hesitantly nodded after some time though her vision was still blocked, Leliana swayed to the other side to look over the antivan woman's shoulder, "We'll leave you two be and wait in your chambers." _I'm guessing pissing off completely isn't an option._ The moment the two left Sylvira stepped back and forced her face neutral as she kept the rogue at arm's length, Sera looked up at her worriedly and then at the mage's left shoulder when it pulsed just the slightest bit.

"Syl, yer eyes and arm..."

"I'm fine, it was a little bit too much at once is all." _So fucking glad I didn't get a nosebleed, at least they'd think it'd be for the right reason. I wish._ "Just," the tall woman sighed and slicked back her drenched hair, she managed a meager smile and jerked her head towards the door, "C'mon. Let's get outta here and get this shit done and over with."

"Whatcha think they came here for?" The archer stepped out and held her hands out to support Lavellan, the climb out the bucket was bound to be just as painful as getting in. "Think Moustache and Beardy told 'em?"

"If they did, I'm employing gassy nugs in Dorian's reading nook and spray perfume all over Blackwall's carving worktable." Sylvira grumbled and braced herself while the rogue chuckled, she stepped closer to the edge and slid her trembling hands in the calloused palms as she sucked in a deep breath. _When does this stupid shaking stop? It's getting on my nerves._

"Slow and easy Syl, just don't slip and take us both down."

"I'm guessing face planting in your breasts isn't an option?" The deadpan look Sera gave threatened to make her laugh and she suffocated the mirth that bubbled in her chest before she ended up hurting herself. "Alright, alright." She sucked in a breath and nodded to signal her lover that she was ready, she was gently pulled forward and raised the right leg on the same side she was injured, hissing and breathing raggedly until Sera cupped one hand underneath her thigh to support her. "Pathetic," she muttered venomously, thoroughly ashamed that she'd been this _disabled,_ or so she thought.

"Yer just hurtin' lots Syl, would it be _pathetic_ or whatever if it was me in your shoes?" _What? Fuck no._ The archer smirked when Sylvira fervently shook her head as if it was the most ridiculous idea said yet, "It's the same thing with you." _But it's different with me._ Or was it?

Slowly but surely they alternated between shifting the weight on either leg as Sera used all of her strength to ensure the tall woman wouldn't have to lean on the injured side too much, and Lavellan successfully climbed out of the bucket then jerked her chin to the bottles on the ground as she whispered, "Can you grab the short thick container? I want to cover the scars," she noted the rogue's uncertain look then added, "Leliana knows, Josie doesn't. And the less people know the better, just want to be safe."

"What 'bout yer hand Syl?" _Fuck..._ The mage turned her left hand up towards the ceiling and frowned at the dull red lines engraved in her palm, her head snapped up when Sera offered with an uncharacteristic softness in her tone, "I can go out there and grab your stuff, yeah?" _It's just as awkward for you._

"But then you'll be-" _alone.  
_

"S'alright. Don't move anywhere without me luv," the rogue shrugged and instead of grabbing the container she spun on her heel and strode to the door, she left swiftly before Sylvira even had a chance to register what had happened. _Does she even know what it was I even wanted to say?_ She carefully shifted her weight on her uninjured leg and gazed blankly at her palm, her heart swelled with warmth from her lover's unwavering loyalty and abundance of surprising-compassion. She smiled halfheartedly when Sera returned with some clothes bunched up in her hands, worn hand-wraps and a few towels for the both of them, _that was fast._ "They turned 'way and I told 'em we'd need time for ya to dress up. After you dry up and put on a shirt wanna go out to the bed?" The mage's eyebrow rose and they both smirked knowingly until Sera added as she tossed a towel over, "To help sit on and get yer pants on ye frigging perv."

"Don't deny that you were thinking about it too," Lavellan bunched up the towel and began to rub down where it hadn't hurt nor required to move to much, her stomach buzzed nervously when the archer sauntered over with a provocative look. Sera circled behind her and gave a chaste kiss to her shoulder blade, another towel gently wiped away along her back as plump lips trailed to random spots. _Don't think about it._ The tall woman gulped audibly and chanted continuously that none of it was bad, _that all of it feels good and I'm safe. It's_ _ **Sera**_ _._ Frustration boiled beneath the surface and she hated how slow it was taking her to get used to the prospect of the rogue showering her with affection, and accepting help she needed but hadn't wanted had already been pushing her to the limits of her patience.

Gritting her teeth when the towel traveled to her legs, she sucked in a breath and kept her mind occupied by wiping down her arms then ruffling her hair to get as much water out as possible. She had to be extra careful not to lose herself to an absent-minded routine, for she usually bent at the hips and shook her head a few times to help air dry as well, _at the very least it's naturally straight so it's not like I have to worry about brushing._ It's not as though she actually cared regardless. "Hey Syl, mind wiping me down while I get my legs?" _What did I do to deserve you?_

"No, no," perhaps too eager and quick of an answer, but Sylvira hadn't cared. "I don't mind at **all** love." She grinned when Sera moved to her front and had a seductive smirk of her own before she bent at the hips with her back facing the mage, and her mouth nearly watered at the sight. "How the fuck am I supposed to get anything done when you tease me on purpose, like this?"

"It's just wiping off some ruddy water Syl," _it's not_ _ **just**_ _wiping it off and you know it. Don't play coy._ Nonetheless she was not one to waste such a glorious opportunity and the towel immediately started at the toned rump in front of her, her grin growing ever so wider at the sounds of the rogue's chuckles and the sight of a fading hand print bruise. _Can't believe I smacked her hard enough to bruise,_ _e_ _ven better that_ _Leliana and Josie saw it too-well until Leliana covered Josie's eyes_ _._ _Easiest and best decision I've ever made._ "Knew you'd go there first."

"And you wouldn't?"

"I would too."

"Exactly." Not one to actually have a clue how to massage, Lavellan attempted anyways and dug her thumbs in then rubbed in small circles through the towel as she worked her way up Sera's back. She steeled herself and sucked in to hold a breath as she carefully stepped closer, proud when she hadn't needed to lean on the archer for support overmuch and hadn't instigated too much intolerable pain. Dressing took longer than she wanted, and her expression contorted when Sera gestured for her to step in her underwear, _fuck this is fucking pathetic... I can't do anything._ The rogue hadn't ever said anything but the concern in her eyes was a telling feature, _for fuck's sake this is so lame._ "Quit looking at-"

"Syl, it's alright." _I know it's not._

"Shut up." _And stop it with the pity eyes._

"You'd do the same for me wouldn't you?" Gnawing on her tongue, Lavellan reluctantly nodded yes and her eyebrows furrowed when the archer knelt to pull the underwear up. "Then," Sera shrugged as she remained focused on the task, "I don't see the difference if it's me or you. Want me to go get shanked after and then we'll be even?" _Shit._ The dalish woman couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculousness of the idea, and this easily showed on her lover's face as Sera grinned with pride. "Bet Red wants to some days, I'll ask her."

"Now you're just being a dork," Sylvira whispered affectionately, her citron orbs softened at the sight of the rogue grinning up at her and she pulled at Sera's hands until she stood for a kiss. She breathed in between when they parted, "What did I do to deserve you? You're too good, love."

"Got it all wrong as usual, Syl." The plump lips smirked against hers, and Lavellan's heart felt lighter as she swallowed the proud murmur, "I'm the frigging **best**." _Still wrong._

 _ **You're** **perfect**._

* * *

"Look for the last time I'm fine," Lavellan sighed frustratedly as she carefully walked towards her work desk, cautious not to show any concerning signs to the two advisers watching her _like hawks. Sera too._ "I can walk and I can talk, what more do I need to do to convince you?" _Why can't they just leave me alone? I'm alive._

"The issue is that you look stressed," _I was nearly assassinated. Who wakes up after that with a merry grin?_ "And it seems you need more... Effort than usual," Josephine explained politely, _so basically you're saying I'm out of shape and I look like shit._ "We're only worried for your well being, I can arrange for healers or-"

"That won't work," Sylvira interjected bitterly with a blatant venomous tone, she raked her hand through her hair when the antivan woman seemed taken aback by the unwarranted hostility. _I'm still feeling the effects_ _just from the search Dorian ran on the wound, more magic at this point will make me shake like an addict going through lyrium withdrawal._ "Whatever is still left in my system will have to be filtered out naturally. Today is the fourteenth," she ignored the surprised looks on the advisers' faces before they looked to Sera, _they don't know what Cole did or told me and that's none of their business anyways._ "Not including today or the day of the ball, we still have three days. More than enough time to recover," she gazed at her table and a couple of stray reports then gestured to them as she looked at Leliana, "How much of this is waiting for me in the war room?"

Uneasy looks were exchanged between the advisers and Lavellan rubbed at her forehead as she rested her palms on the desk, her head hung dejectedly. _So basically, the war table is a cluster fuck of reports right now. All waiting for a stupid signature a child could easily forge, maybe I'll teach and bribe the kiddos so they can sign shit for me._ The Spymaster's armored footsteps resounded in the chambers as she strode forward to explain, "We've settled as many matters as we could that we felt did not need-"

"Do that for the rest of them. You two are more than capable of judging and deciding on my behalf," _I'd bet even more qualified than I am._ "I need a break," the dalish woman's shoulders sagged and she glanced up, her heart swelled with warmth when she met Sera's eyes for but a brief moment. _She's watching me like a damn bodyguard,_ _one wrong move and she'll be on these two like flies on shit_ _._ "At least for one day, I want to let loose in the tavern and have a damned party to celebrate the fact that I'm still alive." _After what Cole made me watch to 'overcome' the pain I need more than a bottle of rum._

"That is a reasonable request Inquisitor," the Ambassador nodded affirmatively with Leliana and the mage repressed a frown. _Reasonable_ _request_ _? Last I checked I'm the boss and I do what I want._ "Very well, we will save the updates until tomorrow and handle any matters that do not require your immediate attention." _Do they think I'm superhuman, that I was going to bounce up from bed after nearly being assassinated and work?_ Sylvira schooled her features and merely nodded, knowing for a fact that if either adviser were placed in her situation they more than likely would return to work with utmost haste, _workaholics. That's all they can think about, they need to let loose too._

"Sounds good. If there's an emergency, I'll be at the tavern. Dismissed." As soon as the advisers left she looked over at Sera, a small smile on her face as she pushed off from her desk to walk towards the rogue, "How about it? Are we going to start a party they'll remember and sing for ages?" Her head tilted in confusion as she stood in front and intertwined their hands, _she seems conflicted, why?_

"I dunno Syl," Sera shrugged then gently squeezed the tall woman's hands, "I mean..."

" **Sera** doesn't know if she wants to party?"

"Shut it arse," the archer poked out her tongue playfully then squeezed again, she averted her gaze for a brief moment before she met the citron orbs with hesitance, "It really a good idea for you?"

"Uh, yeah? Why **wouldn't** it be a good idea?" Lavellan craned her neck and cautiously bent far enough not to instigate any pain as she stole a swift peck on the lips, "Fastest way to filter out all the bullshit from my system **and** have a good time, especially if it'll be with you by my side." Sera rolled her eyes at the cheesy _honey tongue rubbish as she'd say,_ and the mage smiled reassuringly, "I'll be fine, I promise. What better way to blow away all that's happened than throw a party with rum, Wicked Grace, and a gorgeous woman?"

"Jeez," another roll of the eyes as the rogue grinned devilishly, "So much for filtering out all the bullshit from your system, Syl." _Fuck._ _She's perfect._ The tall woman leaned down as she framed Sera's jawline to draw her in for a crushing kiss which had been nearly impossible, what with both of their mouths spread in playful smirks. Sylvira teasingly nipped on the archer's bottom lip and swallowed the low moan as she whispered in between kisses. _You're irresistible._

"This is why I fucking love you."

* * *

 _I leave her for a few minutes and now I have no fuckin' clue what's goin' on anymore,_ Sera had an amused smirk on her face as she watched from the railing after she'd left to grab a bottle she stashed in her room, along with some matches for the dalish woman to smoke despite Dorian's urging not to. _Let her do what she wants after the shit she had to go through, 'specially if she's in pain. Sure don't look it though._ After Lavellan loudly proclaimed that there was going to be a huge party and ordered Cabot to break the casks, the two funneled through a few shots to set the wild pace of the night as everybody else fed off their contagious energy. It was then the archer remembered about a bottle of rum she'd been saving up and decided to say _ah fuck it,_ for now was no better time to take it out and bring an even larger grin to her lover's face.

 _Not that I even needed to._

Drunken patrons clapped to an uncoordinated beat and whooped loudly, and Sera rested her chin on her palm as she chuckled at the way Sylvira danced on top of a tavern table. With maracas. _What the fuck is she even wearing?_ It seemed as though the dalish woman somehow -and for a reason unknown to Sera- stole Cole's hat, and wore a poncho of some sort as she shook the maracas to the upbeat song Maryden played on the lute. It seemed to be some sort of Rivaini rumba, the cheerful beat drowned by the others who completely ruined what could have been an actual decent song, _for bloody once._ Still, it was just as entertaining to watch the way Lavellan tapped on the table with surprising balance and fervor, and the rogue was entranced by the way hips bounced and swayed. The maracas were twirled around effortlessly as the mage spun one way and then the opposite, the heels of her boots clicked and added to the playful music.

 _This is just too frigging good._ Howls of mirth resounded inside the tavern and other drunken _loyal_ patrons attempted to follow the Inquisitor's _flawless_ example, though many had difficulty even climbing on the tables and stumbled around instead. Sera tapped the bottle of rum against the side of her thigh, her eyes glinted with glee and she whistled her encouragement when Sylvira attempted to drink a shot all the while still dancing and shaking the _daft_ maracas. _Whatta loser,_ the archer smirked when citron orbs met hers, she hastily pushed off the railing and made way for the stairs when Lavellan gestured for her to join. The moment she climbed down and showed her lover the rum, Sylvira immediately hopped off and the two sported devilish grins as the maracas were thrown over the shoulder, uncaring of the soldier who yelped when one hit him on the head. The mage confidently strode to her and it was a huge relief for Sera to see that it hadn't seemed to take nearly as much effort anymore, _booze probly helps block the pain._

Arms wrapped around her waist and pulled for a suave kiss, the persuasive lips got exactly what she wanted and the rogue had been about to pluck Cole's hat off until Lavellan grabbed her wrist. "It's part of my outfit," the dalish woman slurred slightly and chuckled when Sera shot a deadpan stare, "What?" She parted a few inches and looked down after she abandoned the hat on a random table, "Like my poncho?"

"Where the fuck d'ya even get these lame ideas? Loser," the archer teased lightheartedly and lifted the bottle of rum higher, "C'mon, let's grab our usual table and play some Wicked Grace while we drink. We haven't gotten shit faced in a long time," she intertwined her fingers with Sylvira and giggled when the mage nodded eagerly, she turned and guided them around the stairs to the corner table they almost always sat at and the pits of her belly stirred when the hand untangled from hers as arms smoothed around her midriff again. "The heck are ya doing?"

Lips splayed above her kerchief and it'd been increasingly difficult to walk, the sweet smell of liquor on her lover's breath was doing a number on her sanity and tingles slithered up her spine when hands began to roam. _Fuck, is she seriously planning to fuck me right here?_ She'd been pushed to the stone wall beside their table and glanced down when a hand trailed down her stomach, she regretted the words as they tumbled out of her mouth in a husky whisper, "Not here Syl, too many people." She leaned to the side and abandoned the bottle of rum on the table then reached behind as she blindly hooked an arm around the dalish woman's neck for support, her knees already felt weak just at the prospect of risky sex when **anybody** could easily see what they were doing if they walked to the side. _Frigging hot, but no way._ Still, it was undeniably tempting and her alcohol-addled brain easily caved in to the rising urges.

Shifting so that her legs inched out just the slightest bit to grant easier access to the far-too-tempting hands, she was incredibly disappointed and her frustration flared to life when the mouth against her throat spread in a telling grin. _Oh no, she better not be thinking-_ and Lavellan parted, she cautiously swung her leg over and casually took her seat at the table as she tried to act innocent, the archer ignored the brief flash of pain in the citron orbs. "Fuck you," Sera rasped and wobbled unsteadily on the other side of the table, the mage's throaty chuckles gnawed on her nerves and the mischievous glint in the glazed eyes trifled with her conflicting thoughts. On one hand she wanted nothing more than to drag Sylvira to her room to finish what was started, and on the other she was determined not to give that satisfaction nor admit defeat. "Gonna kick yer arse for that," she fumbled in her thigh pouch for the matches and the deck of cards, "Just like I always do in Wicked Grace."

"Don't forget I sometimes win too," _yeah big fat_ _sometimes_ _._ The dalish woman reached for the rum and Sera ignored the way the hands trembled slightly as they worked to open the bottle, _i_ _t's still bugging her. Is it always gonna be like this?_ She averted her gaze to the deck of cards, knowing her lover would only become even more agitated if she felt as though her pride was slighted over the sign of apparent weakness. "And I don't even need to cheat in the shemlen rigged game like _somebody_ I know," Lavellan teased and the rogue merely grinned cheekily, the rum had finally been cracked open and she deftly swiped it to take a swig straight from the bottle. "Well that settles it then," _huh?_ Sera tilted her head to the side and glanced at the mage who shrugged, "Was about to ask if you wanted me to grab some glasses for us."

"When the heck do we ever drink from a glass Syl? This is better," she set the rum down and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, she pushed over the box of matches and shuffled the deck of cards as Sylvira fumbled in her pockets for her pipe. _Just like old times, much better._

"Good point, you always have the best ideas love." _Heh._ The smug smirk easily made it's way on the archer's face and both their eyes glazed with devilish glee, knowing what was truly implied. _Damn straight I do, always will._ The sweet aroma of the smoke filled her nostrils as Lavellan drew from the pipe and let out a content sigh, she shot a small gust of wind through the smoke and smiled with ease, "Inhale the good shit, exhale the bullshit." _Ooh that's a good one._ Despite all the noise and drunken ruckus, the two relaxed here in this moment far better than anywhere else.

 _Anytime. It's always like this with us,_ Sera dealt their hands and placed the deck in the center, relief welled up knowing that her lover truly did seem okay, that nothing truly changed. The shoulders were no longer sagged from the immense weight that was forced upon them, and stress was now only a word rather than the tension that burrowed in their muscles. "Definitely needed this," Sylvira rotated her palm upwards and levitated her cards as she plucked the pipe from her mouth to exhale the smoke, she glanced at her cards then reached to take a swig from the rum. _Uh huh. Gotcha._ It was a telling sign that only the rogue knew, and she picked up her own cards to hide her smirk behind them. She waited for the smug bluff and casually exchanged two cards in hopes she could complete her set of knights, _judgin' by how much she drank I'd say three's enough to win this round anyways._ "You should fold, love. You lost and you know it."

 _Yep, here we go._ "Yer gettin' cocky again Syl, know what that means?" _This happens every single time. When's she gonna learn?_ Another glance at her cards and Sera's inner mischief cackled with evil glee, _four knights one song. Doubt she's got anything better than this._

"Yep, means it's my win." They continued to discard cards though Sera kept her knights, and she waited for the moment the angel of death would appear in the deck. As soon as she drew it, she turned it around and waved it at the smug woman. "Read 'em and weep cookie," as soon as the mage laid her cards out on the table, she held her hand out, "Hand them over." _Right here? Eh to be fair I got her to strip but that was upstairs, where hardly anyone's around._

"What, my knickers?" The archer chuckled at the eager nod, "You'll get 'em later in my room anyways ya perv." The honest confirmation had the effect she wanted and Sylvira looked surprised for a moment before she grinned with glee, and Sera laid out her cards as she glanced at her lover's set. _Shit. She's got four serpents._ They were both stumped and shrugged for neither won, the rogue gathered the cards and shuffled the deck again as they took turns drinking from the same bottle. Every round nearly went the same and both were puzzled by the constant stand-still, the alcohol muddled their judgment and before long they started giggling for no apparent reason as they tried to cheat to gain the upper hand. Each attempt was caught and called out immediately, for both were too sloppy nor had they even cared anymore.

 _Rum and smoke. S'how it always ought to be._ The sweet aroma brought Sera's mind to a pleasant place and her gaze lingered on Lavellan's charming grin as the world swayed around them, the words slurred. She hadn't even registered how much time had passed or how the tavern quieted, and eventually the dalish woman laid her head down on the table after they'd finished the bottle. The rogue rested her chin on her palm and smiled lazily, she leaned forward and reached to tuck the disheveled strands behind Sylvira's ear as she took note of the _stupid_ poncho. _No seriously, where did she even get this daft thing?_

Coherent thought had been increasingly difficult to string along and she gaped for some time, her ears perked at a barely audible affectionate murmur of her name and her heart swelled. _Look what you've done to me Syl?_ It felt like ages ago since they'd sit at this very spot as the mage would shoot cheesy and terrible pick up lines in hopes at least one would work, and how Sera would repeatedly shoot them down in an attempt to save herself from the pain that would surely come from one she perceived as someone who couldn't even comprehend commitment. _Look how fuckin' wrong I was huh?_ The very thought of knowing just how far they'd come and the giddiness of knowing just how much farther they'd go made her lazy smile easily turn into a lopsided grin, it was another one of those moments where she wanted nothing more than to stand by this woman's side forever and it'd been slightly frightening.

Gaze shifting to a drunken woman that stumbled towards their table, Sera's eyes narrowed warningly and she glared when the woman braced herself on the table as she bent at the hips to look at the unconscious mage. _The fuck is she doing?_ The moment the woman reached out to seemingly poke Sylvira's cheek, the archer's hand shot out to grab her wrist as she slurred venomously, "Don't touch **my** girlfriend. Don't talk to her, don't even look at her, and don't worry about her. She's mine and I'm crazy enough to stuff arrows in you." The excessive hostility was more than likely due to the alcohol but at the moment she hadn't given a _flying fuck,_ this drunken _daft tit_ should have known far better than this. _The fuck's she want when Syl's passed out?_ "Now piss off, creep." The woman had been taken aback and the moment her wrist was released she stumbled away, her incredibly uncoordinated steps told Sera that she more than likely had absolutely no idea what it was she was even doing.

 _Flirting with the 'mighty' wasted Inquisitor, yeah doubt anyone sober would actually do it even if they were bribed. Maybe._ A hiccup, and the rogue peered at her unconscious lover as she fought against the slight swaying of the world before she rose from the table, _let's get this shit over with._ She watched as Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed in what seemed to be distress and she smoothed away the ample hair bangs only to discover the forehead was sheen with sweat, _the fuck?_ "Hey Syl," she gently nudged the dalish woman's shoulder and knelt to be eye level with the table, _she drank more than me but she don't normally get sick from it either._ She plucked the pipe from the table and dumped out the contents without a care then stuffed it in the mage's pocket, she gave another nudge as she urged, "Wake up luv. Let's go sleep in my room, it'll be comfier."

No response, and she watched with concern as she nudged a little harder. She studied the way the features contorted in what seemed to be a look of fear, and her stomach churned uncomfortably at that. _Is she having a bad dream?_ Just as she'd been about to shake a little harder, her ears twitched at the barely audible mumble, "Not yet Cole..." _Creepy? Creepy's in her dreams again,_ her teeth worried her bottom lip and jealousy tinged her thoughts, she shook her head and grit the back of her teeth, _It better be helping her or It's getting arrows in between It's frigging eyes._ Instead she gingerly lifted her lover's right arm and hoped -prayed even- as she looped the arm around to lift the unconscious woman that she wouldn't be putting Sylvia in even more pain. It took some maneuvering and she paid acute attention to the little grunts and hisses, she didn't want to wake the mage nor make her scream in agony. She was grateful when Bull made way for his usual chair and saw Sera struggle, the lumbering qunari swiftly strode over and carefully cradled the tall woman in his arms.

Conflicted whether or not to actually leave Lavellan alone or to wake her, the rogue followed silently while the two communicated through head gestures and their eyes as they climbed the stairs to go to Sera's room. _Syl needs all the sleep she can get,_ she chewed on the inside of her cheek, _she'd probly say no without the drinking and burn herself out again._ It was frustrating that she could do absolutely nothing to help and on top of all that, _It_ was the one that helped. For once she actually hoped Cole could hear her thoughts as she mentally threatened him, even imagining just what she'd do to the _thing_ with every single arrow she owned. "Heard 'bout what happened from Kadan," Bull's gruff murmur snapped the archer out of her reverie and she looked up when he glanced over, _who's Kadan, the heck's that mean? Maybe it's a nickname for Moustache._ "Good on her for takin' a break, needs it." Sera nodded and he jerked his head to the makeshift bedding by the windows, "Mind moving the pillows so I can set the Boss down?"

"Yeah. Nice and easy Bull, she's still hurting." The qunari nodded in acknowledgment and was careful not to break anything with his horns as he squatted to enter the tiny nook, Sera squeezed past him and stepped over the table to push the pillows further down. She gave a friendly pat on the shoulder as a way to express her gratitude after he'd gently laid Sylvira down, _else it'd have taken at least an hour tryna haul her arse up here when I'm wobbly too._ Bull flashed a thumbs up and quietly took his leave then closed the door for the rogue, and Sera slowly brought the pillows and blankets over again. She contemplated whether to actually stay up and watch over the unconscious woman but instead lifted the blanket and gradually worked her way to be underneath Lavellan by sitting the two up, then wrapped her arms around in a comfortable embrace as she eventually laid back down. _Stupid poncho, makin' it harder._ She remained keenly aware of the small mumbles and the stuffy heat that surrounded the two as the mage's temperature slowly rose, the normally golden hair slightly paled as a result of the toxins that coated the poisoned blade.

 _She'll get better. Has to. She won't stay like this forever, right?_ It hurt to see Sylvira try not to let the frustration show on her face every time she quivered either with her hands or the walking, and the archer was determined not to push her way in too much. _Else she'll feel like shit forever, think she's useless just because of this crap. She's not, never will be._ Sera idly brushed back the dampened hair bangs and wiped her hand on the blanket when she swiped the sweat-slicked forehead, her eyebrows furrowed at more mumbles of Cole's name. _Just what the fuck is happening, what's It doing to her?_ Her own exhaustion plucked conscious thought away one by one, and even her concern couldn't keep her awake long enough to wonder about waking her lover or not. Instead she shimmied lower and glanced down to check where Lavellan's head rested, her lips tugged in a small smirk and she closed her eyes as she drifted off to sleep.

 _ **I was testing how comfy your pillows are and congratulations! They passed the test.**_

 _Got what you wanted, using my tits as pillows. Loser._

* * *

 _ **It's engraved in your very body.**_

"Please, I don't want to see-no Cole. I want to see Sera, let me see Sera," Sylvira was backed to the invisible wall as the Fade warped around her, once again she was a spectator as she watched traumatic memories to _accept_ and _shake free_ from the poisonous anger that refused to let go of her. The young man was no where to be found but she knew it was his handiwork if she had been watching rather than reliving, and her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at herself in torn clothes, laying on the kitchen floor. She was condemned to the male cooks once again, and she gritted her teeth as she saw how they all laid around her.

 **Dead.**

Blood stained the rotting floorboards and she remembered staring blankly at the ceiling, totally drained of all energy and glancing around, idly wondering what had happened but not truly caring. Sounds of a creaky door echoed in her ears and a gasp resounded in the kitchen, the mage could only see what she remembered and it'd been a strange sensation. She felt as though she was still laying on the floor but _removed_ from her body, and her head tilted to the left as she studied the way a blood-caked apple rolled past her. Her gaze fell to her arm, where sky blue mist radiated from the runes engraved in her and she sorely wished she knew how to activate it on will. _I want to kill everyone in here._ Calpernia came into view and knelt by her side with a panicked expression, though the jargon that tumbled out of her mouth had been completely incoherent and all Lavellan could hear was the loud ringing in her ears. _This was the day._ _I'll never forget this day._ With the older girl's help she sat up and numbly observed the way blood splattered on her ragged clothes, she inspected the cooks' injuries and didn't bother to hide her bloodthirsty grin as she chuckled darkly.

Legs were crushed and most notably the pelvic bones compressed into nothing, the aprons were torn apart and crimson seeped through broken skin, "Look? They got nothing to fuck with anymore Cally. Too bad for them, shoulda fuckin' listened to 'stop'." She felt the way Calpernia tensed by her side, the jargon still difficult to make out just what was said exactly. "Where's Sporka? That bitch has it coming," her confidence skyrocketed despite her lack of knowledge of how to actually control whatever it was had been engraved in her arm, but at the very least her dream of power to wield such frightening magical force came true. _Knew I'd make them stop with it if I did. Serves them right._ Her head lulled back and forth as she was shaken, and she looked over at the older girl with an annoyed expression until the weight of the realization crashed down on her like a sack of bricks. The ringing gradually ebbed away and the light blue that pulsed _behind_ her eyes faded, she eventually returned to cruel reality.

"You'll be hunted and killed for this," Calpernia whispered with blatant fear in her voice, she frantically looked around while the young dalish girl gazed deadpan without a single care. "You need to escape."

"Run away with me," the monotone was as clear as ever though Sylvira paid no mind to it, she was left feeling numb and empty as her emotions remained severed. "Even if things aren't good between us anymore Cally, we can-"

"No." The older girl gripped her sensitive arm none too gently and agony diffused along the entirety of it, Lavellan swatted her hand away and forced herself to stand on her own two feet. Calpernia gestured to the cellar door that lead to the catacombs and the two stared sternly, the young dalish girl scoffed and spat at her feet then spun around.

"You're nothing but a weak coward, you always will be Cally." The bitterness had been just about the only thing she could feel before it suddenly dissipated into nothing, and she disconnected from her anger. "One day you'll see that there's nobody out there for you, that the only person who can save you is yourself." Sylvira wobbled unsteadily, her muscles still trembled and her knees quivered as she made way for the cellar door. Her ears twitched at the sounds of the creaky door and her stomach sank when the older girl left her, she had to move and she had to move **now**.

 _It's every person out there for themselves, that's all that matters now. She's going to report me to look innocent, save herself._ She felt betrayed, but at the same time she could understand the survival rationale and if she were honest, she'd more than likely do the same as well. She lost all sense of loyalty and _bullshit_ friendship, abandoned ideals and fantasies that she would at least have one person to stand by her side against the world. _It'll never happen._ She tore open the cellar door and hastily descended the steps, she couldn't afford to hesitate or doubt herself in the escape. _Trust no one but yourself._

It was do or die.

Removed from her body once again, Lavellan spectated as the younger version of herself squeezed through tight cracks, she could still _feel_ how heavy the air was and the way her heart hammered against her chest. Thinking on it now, her dislike for tight spaces more than likely stemmed from this event here, for she'd easily grown claustrophobic just at the idea of being trapped in between dank and molded stone walls. She alternated between watching and living, her palms stung and felt scratchy when she'd made it to the pipes and crawled through until she fell into some godawful thick muck. The horrid stench of waste filled her nostrils and she could taste the puke that traveled up her throat, she watched the younger version of her vomit over and over again as she trekked through _shit_ on hands and feet.

"Anything it took to get out of that place." Sylvira glanced over when she saw Cole patiently stand beside her, she didn't have the energy to be angry and simply accepted the fact that the spirit more than likely sensed and saw all her pain, with or without actively exploring these memories in the Fade. She glazed over the _things_ she passed during her escape, the mindless animals that were responsible for the horrendous not-normal sounds she used to hear through the cracks. "I remember I used to be scared when I first heard them, but going through the catacombs then... I wasn't."

"It was because you were like a wounded bird that chewed through the leg to escape the shackles."

"Hah!" Lavellan laughed bitterly and shook her head, she stuffed her hands in her pockets and her eyebrows furrowed as she watched the young dalish girl finally fall out from the catacombs and slipped off the edge of wherever it was she even ended up, thankfully crashing into a lake below. "No. It was because I was a mindless animal then, too. Prey. All that was on my mind was to escape my predators and survive." The memories were disjointed then, and once again she alternated between watching with the sensations on her skin, or reliving it and being forced into the young body yet retained consciousness of her mind. She remembered the hunger pains that sucked in her stomach and the way her bones felt as they would crumble to dust any moment, it was as though a large gaping hole tore through her gut.

 _My heart, too._ Sprinting soaking wet through dirty alleyways, she ignored the shocked looks of those she passed by and vaguely heard a woman shout for the guards. The very prospect of freedom was all that spurred her on, she wasn't worried. She knew the city and used this knowledge to her advantage, she knew all it's shortcuts and it's cutthroat alleyways like the back of her hand. The only thing she had to worry about were mage-hunters, those that would be able to trace her magical wavelength and blood for she had no knowledge of how to cover it up. She needed to somehow get out of Tevinter _tonight,_ and that was the most unlikely thing to happen at that point.

 _Especially when I didn't know where to go beyond the city, for I had only skimmed the maps Erasthenes had and knew not how to read them._ A stroke of pure luck, _or perhaps even_ -a scoff- _miracle,_ she had stumbled upon sketchy stables and a blurry older woman who had been boarding small children on a rickety wagon. _Not this..._ Sylvira was cast out of the young body and remained a spectator, her eyebrows furrowed and her heart sagged. She remembered this life-defining moment all too well, and she idly explained as she stood beside Cole. "She was a Mages' Collective agent smuggling children who were to be sold on the slave market, and instead she risked all that she had to get them out of Tevinter." _Not out of the goodness of her heart though._

 _ **It's because of you they died!**_

"Who are the Mages' Collective?" The pale spirit inquired, and Lavellan could only manage a weak smile. _Perhaps another time._ The younger version of herself froze like a halla in an arrow's path, and the blurry older woman merely reassuringly grinned at her. All of it was far too familiar and hit _too_ close to home, the moment her gaze fell on the agent's scarf she sighed and turned around.

 _ **Failure.**_

"That's enough for the day, I'm tired." The rogue looked at her with reasonable confusion and Sylvira chuckled halfheartedly for the sake of easing the overwhelming tension that threatened to suffocate her, _we're in the Fade after all. I'd have to be asleep to be here and it's more than likely night time._

"It's not a memory you are ready to see yet," Cole noted after some time and the dalish woman nodded reluctantly in confirmation, _no point being dishonest when he can read my thoughts anyways._ "Yes." _Like that._ "She is not like **her**." _Mm, I know._ Turning to the pale spirit and ignoring what went on in her peripheral vision, Lavellan waited expectantly for Cole to help bring her out of her sleeping state. _I want to see Sera now._ A flicker of an odd smile and the mage was stumped when she saw it, Cole nodded eagerly, "She helps you work through it best, she gives you new and better memories. I like Sera." _Heh. Learn something new everyday, didn't think spirits possessed these sorts of capabilities or free will._

"Me too Cole," Sylvira reached out and patted the young man's shoulder as she smiled warmly, "Me too..."

* * *

"Mmpf-hmph?" Lavellan took a moment for sense to reassert itself and briefly wondered two things: why her hip was hurting like crazy and why it was harder to breathe. She blinked blearily and craned her neck to look up as far as possible, and was immediately delighted at familiar sights. _Sera, check. Bosom, check. Sleeping on Sera's bosom, good morning to me~_ _it must be my lucky day!_ She didn't dare move except to free her nose and braced her elbows on either side of the archer's hips as she cautiously lifted her own for the burning pain to _fuck off._ Unfortunately the light movement had been enough for Sera to snap awake and her head whipped down, big hazel eyes blinked furiously out of worry, _doesn't she understand I'm fine yet? Someone must have filled her head with senseless drivel and scared her._ "Morning love, sleep well?"

"I should be askin' you that," the archer slurred sleepily and half sat up as she looked down, Sylvira pushed herself up as far as her arms allowed her and leaned forward to steal a kiss. _Need to distract her, enough of this._ The plump lips easily reciprocated and the mage had a proud grin bouncing around in the back of her mind, there was no flinching nor complaints of her apparent terrible morning breath, _knew she was just teasing me._

Calloused fingers wove in her disheveled hair and pulled her closer, harder, their mouths grew more insistent and Sera practically refused to part even for the need to breathe. _Kind of need to so we don't pass out. On second thought that's not such a bad idea..._ A moan slipped out of her when the rogue nipped and pulled on her bottom lip between teeth, and the pits of her belly began to stir with both heavenly want and hellish anxiety. "As much as I love doing this with you," Lavellan managed to murmur before the archer parted to stare at her with half-lidded eyes, then smothered their mouths together once again. _She knows what I'll say, she really doesn't want to hear it huh? Fuck I hate it just as much._ "Sera-"

"Shut up, just a little longer Syl." Hands clutched and bunched up the V neck of the poncho of which the dalish woman had completely forgotten about, she smirked in the kiss and it only grew wider when she saw Sera's eyes roll beneath closed eyelids. _Where did I even get this? Think I stole it from one of the soldiers, but where the hell did they get this? Ah well._ The two merely enjoyed their warm presence, the feelings of security and building desire, though Sylvira had easily torn apart the pleasant illusion when she tried to bring her legs up into kneeling. A pained groan tore from her and the rogue parted instantly, concerned hawk-like eyes locked on her like an arcane homing bolt and she repressed a dejected sigh. _I get she's worried, I do. I'd be the same, but I've lived through worse and I'm not a child._ "Are you-"

"Yes," Lavellan interjected and forced a smile as she choked the anger at it's root before it dared surface, she didn't want to give Sera more cause to fret or ammunition if the archer tried to convince her she shouldn't deal with any Inquisitor duties for another day. _Unfortunately, I have to even if I don't like it._ "I'm alright love, haven't moved in a while and my muscles are just stiff." It wasn't complete _bullshit_ and held some truth in it as well, but the skeptical look was more than enough to make the words tumble out of her mouth. "Sera," she whined and drawled to emphasize her point, "Seriously, I'm oooookay. C'mon we have to go to the meeting before we're late, or else I'll never hear the end of it from the others."

"Syl you can't just hop into work like that," _I don't have a choice. I never had a choice, life's always dealt me my cards and it's up to me how I play them._ The archer's expression faltered when Sylvira stubbornly pushed herself higher and allowed her right leg to fall to the side, she braced herself as she cautiously put weight through and clenched her jaw when it felt as though wasps burrowed themselves in her hip. She refused to let it show on her face and ensured her eyes remained glued to the ground so that Sera couldn't see in case if they were glassy with pain, then moved to the side until her second leg connected with the ground and pushed into standing.

"There, see?" Light sweat clung to the base of her neck and she wiped at her forehead before any drops slid down, she huffed irritably and shirked off the heavy poncho, "How the hell did I even dance in this stupid thing?" As soon as she tossed the insufferable thing to the floor she stretched her arms above her head then held her hand out to Sera, she sighed lightheartedly and shook her head, "I see nothing I do will convince you. Stay by my side during the meeting if you're that worried about me passing out or whatever, but I want to see my girlfriend again. Not a mother."

"Heh," a playful scoff at that and the archer's calloused palm slipped in hers, Sera grinned as she rose and stole a brief peck on the lips, "Fine." She patted Lavellan's cheek then stepped over the table, and the mage's eyebrow rose in confusion until she saw the mischievous glint in the razor sharp slits. _Uh huh. I know what this means._ "But first you gotta brush yer teeth and get rid of that stinky arse breath."

 _Clearly I spoke too soon._

* * *

"Seriously, is that what he said?" Sylvira hadn't known whether to laugh or cry as Josephine nodded meekly, the antivan woman relayed what another noble said to her when he expressed concerns of supporting the Inquisition when it was being run by women. The others in the war room tried to stifle their smirks as the mage's jaw hung almost comically and she rose her hand, "Okay wait, wait, wait, let me get this straight." She exchanged glances with Sera who was clearly raring to go find this noble - _more than likely to shove an arrow up his ass_ _and I'll help_ \- then back at the Ambassador, "So is he saying we're incompetent or something?"

"Er... Well he seems to be worried about-"

"Typical men. If you ask me, if you want to get something done right then ask a fucking woman," Lavellan interjected -her pride would **not** stand for this transgression- and she held up her fingers to count each one as she listed names. "Hero of Fereldan," she straightened out her thumb then jerked her head towards the only dwarf in the room, "Flemeth according to Varric anyways," she straightened out her index, and a couple of the women chuckled in the room as the men squirmed uncomfortably of what had threatened to become a bloodbath.

This was clearly an incredibly delicate subject for Sylvira, and she had all the reason in the world for it.

"Hawke, Cassandra the Right Hand of the Divine, Vivienne adviser of the Imperial court," she used up one hand and easily went to the next as she seemingly glared at Cullen, the Commander shifted uncomfortably having been the one targeted for all _typical_ male views-even if he didn't share them. "Leliana the Left Hand of the Divine, Ambassador Montilyet," she reached for the stack of dossiers she now carried with her to ensure she could study anywhere at anytime, "Empress Celene, Ambassador Briala." Mirth bubbled in the chests of the flattered women and finally she thumbed to herself, "You **don't** want to ask me," then pointed to the loyal archer by her side, "Because Sera will just fucking kill you. Oh right if we're going to include spiritual shit then there's the Divine, Andraste, Mythal-"

"Syl," the rogue cut in and snickered with amusement from the statement that had never been truer, "Think we all got the point."

"I'm just saying, women are always looked down upon and considered incompetent just for being women. Look how many times we saved the fucking world?" Lavellan was just as eager to meet the noble as her lover and she scoffed at the very notion that the man _dared_ utter such nonsense, _and to my Ambassador of all people!_ "Next time you meet him warn him not to fuck with me, I'm absolutely unfuckwithable. It means nothing anybody says or does bothers me, and if they do then I sprinkle a little bit of Leliana or Sera on that shit. Problem solved."

Laughter erupted from the others and Josephine had been just about the only one who just barely had enough control not to get caught up in contagious glee but she couldn't help the smile that took her by surprise, especially when the said orlesian woman had also joined in on the laughter. Sylvira smirked with pride and rested her palms on the war table, she looked over when she felt Sera bump shoulders with her and both their eyes shone bright, _sometimes life's shit, and sometimes it gives you puppies._ This was how it should have been no matter what life threw at them, but the dalish woman knew these days were numbered. The mental countdown began at the back of her mind as her gaze glazed over the dagger stabbed into the map where they all prepared to head next: Halamshiral. An uneasy glance at the archer and she repressed the urges to sigh, when she looked up her eyes immediately locked with Cole's.

 _Sera can't be at the Winter Palace. I don't want to remember **her**._


	28. When the Floodgates Break Open

**Hope you don't enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 01-18-2016

 **AN:** I don't really know what to say except that I got _really_ carried away with the angst bits as a bit of my own personal way to work through something that's happened to me recently, so this ends up being projected and 'emphasized' in Syl's story when she gets lost in anger and lets out everything that's been bottled up (it wasn't originally supposed to be this intense until I got to writing it all down). You may have issues trying to decide who to slap in this one Nyx :P In Syl's defense, it's just too much that has been piling up and the fact that Cole is opening old wounds for her to _properly_ heal which doesn't help. In Sera's defense, she isn't aware of all this pressure and is angry over things she's always gotten angry about as she reacts to her feelings of being betrayed [ _again_ ].

As such, this chapter is a tad bit shorter than usual (only by about 1k~ words) and doesn't really have plot development, but for sure we'll get closer to the ball in the next chapter now that the worst has come to pass XD. Also for ease and as a heads up, this whole chapter is in Sylvira's perspective (so all inner monologue is hers).

* * *

 **When the Floodgates Break Open**

* * *

"This isn't a bakery, I don't sugar coat anything. It's called the fucking war room for a reason, and if you ask for my opinion then that's what you'll get. Don't be pissy and get snarky if it isn't what you want to hear," Sylvira hadn't even winced when Solas abruptly turned heel and left, the two argued back and forth about spirits and demons when the hedge mage had requested her immediate assistance with a questionable _spirit_ in danger. _When he himself even said he sensed that the spirit has already been twisted against it's purpose._

 _That means_ _ **demon**_ _._

"Holy fuck, does he seriously think I'm just going to drop everything right now and rush off to save a fucking demon?" Silence was her response, the tension hung thick in the air and she sighed in frustration as she raked her hand through her hair, this morning's meeting was certainly eventful. "Asshole didn't drop everything and rush off to save me from a _real_ threat, and expects me to-"

"Syl," Sera urged gently, she was most definitely on her lover's side and far more than angry about Solas... But she was worried that Lavellan was about to fly off the handle when she needed to remain calm and sane as often as possible with her debatable _fragile_ state at the moment, the less stress the better. "Fuck 'im, Baldy's always got his head up his arse so just forget 'bout him. I'll make sure he pays for it later." _What did I say? Fuck with me and you deal with Sera._ Josephine exchanged uneasy glances with Leliana and had been hesitant to move matters forward, the dalish woman's head hung dejectedly as she rested her palms against the table.

"My dear," the archer rolled her eyes when Vivienne contributed, "As much as I hate to admit it, Sera speaks some truth and you did well in declining Solas' preposterous request. Not only do you have more important matters to deal with, but it is dangerous and there's nothing to be gained from _saving_ a demon."

 _Sometimes it's nice for a decision to be validated, sometimes it just makes things worse and I can't decide which it is right now._ A couple of head nods, a few hesitant looks, the tension still remained in the room where it was incredibly clear that people were divided in their opinions. _Think, how can I break it, ease it, joke it up? This isn't what I need right now,_ _or anybody really_ _._ Sylvira rubbed her forehead and nodded tiredly as she pushed off from the table, she glanced at the antivan woman who's gaze seemed fixated on her board as she pretended to write things down.

 _This is a fucking joke._

"It's dealt with and clearly his answer's just as final as mine. In any case, what's the next _terribly_ important matter I _must_ contend with?" As soon as the Spymaster stepped forward, Lavellan braced herself for today's worst headache. _It just never ends, evidently._

"I've recently uncovered a plan where a meager handful of our templars have wished to defect, they await in the prison cells for judgment." _Is she fucking serious?_

"Defect as in, they **want** to eat red lyrium and turn into a heap of rocks?" She groaned when Leliana exchanged glances with Cullen, the Commander hesitantly nodded and it seemed he too had a hand in helping the Spymaster discover the plan.

"Morale is low, the mass is frightened after rumors of the attempted assassination still spread," _s_ _till spread? Who would even leak that information?_ "And..." The orlesian woman paused for a moment as if contemplating her words, then decided to give it bluntly and honestly, _the way I like it. No need for flowery words to make shit smell nice, it's still shit._ "Though we've had our own fair share of those that have defected to us," _did they have a choice, or were they forced?_ "There are some who do not believe you can-"

"I don't give a shit what they do or don't believe I can do," Sylvira snapped and the back of her teeth grit, turmoil was brewing. "Instead of scrutinizing and criticizing me which I **bet** you," she thumbed to her ears, "Is because their petty minds just **can't** accept an elf or mage in a position of power just like how that asshole noble had a problem because _women_ , they should fucking fight for oh I don't know, maybe prevent the end of the world? That sounds like a good idea." The mage rested her palms on the table again and sighed, her eyebrows furrowed as she briefly mulled on what to do to the captured templars. A small part of her found comfort in the fact that Sera moved the slightest bit closer, but that comfort mattered little when she had to make yet another heavy decision.

 _Now I see why they wanted me to get to work right away, nobody else wants to make these sorts of calls. Easier to push it on the one everyone already sees and knows is an asshole._ She shook her head and shrugged, "Before I hand down judgment," _the throne is just about the most uncomfortable luxurious chair I've ever sat in,_ "We need to deal with the root problem first: that our troops are even thinking about these sorts of things."

 _Those that defect to us are probably tired of the abuse in their ranks, and ours defect because they fear abuse if we lose this war, ironic._ Her head lulled left and right in an attempt to loosen up the muscles in her neck, her brain already working at high speeds as it bounced from idea to idea until she'd grinned at a _flawless_ solution. "How about," her gaze snapped up and weary citron orbs bounced with glee as she suggested, "We draw and mass-produce like those propaganda posters, you know? Draw a big fat ugly behemoth and underneath the damned thing write 'red lyrium is bad for your health!' Brilliant right?"

"Pfft," _aw c'mon don't be like that love._ The tiny chuckle slipped out the rogue before she stifled it in time, and Sylvira pretended to be oblivious of the pursed lips as others tried not to smile or laugh. _Assholes. Way to make me feel lame._ The moment Josephine stepped forward with a polite smile, the mage braced herself for the teasing that would surely come from Sera. _She's **definitely** going to make fun of me for this later._

"That's ah... An ambitious plan and wonderful idea Inquisitor," _so basically the most stupid idea I've ever had. Shame, I thought it was good._ "Shall I commission local artists to-"

"I'll do it!" _What? Seriously?_ Every skeptical gaze locked on Sera as she rose her hand and actually **volunteered** for the preposterous job, the rogue sported a cheeky grin especially when Lavellan looked over at her. "Leave it to me, I'm good at drawing." _Yeah you are, I've stolen a few sneak peaks at your journal. You've copied my ass **perfectly**._ She shrugged and nodded, she was honestly ready to declare it a total joke -since it pretty much was now that she thought about it- but seeing her lover this eager to help even over something as ridiculous as this... _It's impossible to say no._

"Me too though I'll stick to writing the message instead of drawing," Varric added, and soon enough the more laid back members of the group also offered their hands to volunteer in what was about to be the most pointless mission they'd ever undertaken. It was then the mage made the connection and at first she stood stumped, eyes widened, her jaw slightly hung comically and she couldn't believe what everybody was doing. With the constant stress and recent turn of events, the ever-constant dangers of spies either within their ranks or their own being caught, the daily wealth of shit she had to deal with and the fact she **knew** many weren't loyal to her... It touched her that here in this room there were still a select few men and women who had faith in her, despite her not exactly making it easy for people to believe in her.

 _We'll stand with you no matter what._

That was the true underlying meaning behind such actions that she normally wouldn't have paid any attention to, due in part that this rarely ever happened. _Especially when most of them made it clear they thought the idea was a joke, and here they are..._ Her lips curled into a small smile and her eyes softened, she couldn't help but shake her head as she chuckled lightheartedly, "Sentimental fools."

 _Are they trying to make me cry?_ Her mouth swiftly grew into a grin as she ordered with her no-nonsense authoritative tone, "This is a mission of dire importance, I do not want to hear of any complaints. I have the utmost faith in each of you and your inevitable success, this project will commence after we return from the Winter Palace. Now," tension easily stripped away and atmosphere lightened, the mage was finally far more at ease and the meeting was no longer **as** dreaded as she looked at her smirking advisers. "Are there any other matters that have been saved for the most ridiculous solutions yet?"

* * *

Sitting on the throne had never felt so damned uncomfortable, all eyes were on her and her paranoid gaze flickered from person to person as she tried to determine if there were any other clever assassins waiting for her. Nonetheless she paid acute attention to every muscle in her body and relaxed her posture, kicking up her leg and resting an ankle on her other knee as she folded her hands in front of her mouth. With the Winter Palace so close by and every decision just waiting to be criticized by the unforgiving nobles of the court, she **had** to be careful with this case if she wanted to both represent the Inquisition and ensure her word carried some power in the Imperial court-specifically with Empress Celene. She glanced up at the beams and her lips curled in a smile, _just how in the world does she get up there and sit without any fear?_

No matter what even she couldn't deny that it touched her just to see the lengths Sera was willing to go for her, and it definitely offered a great amount of comfort when she noticed the ends of a bow sticking out on each side of the rafter. _My personal bodyguard, one wrong move from anybody and an arrow's splitting their skull in the same second._ Her eyes snapped to the three templars that were brought in with shackles around their hands and feet, itching burrowed in her muscles just by sensing their anti-magic and was relieved to see extra guards posted near the throne as a precaution. The crowd gathered and whispers flooded the room, nobody knew the case yet but everybody recognized the templar emblem on the breast plates.

 _A beacon of law, both empowered and bound. Truer words have never been spoken, Josie._ The templars' eyes never wavered and each gazed straight at her, unafraid. _Reminds me when I judged Knight-Captain Denam._ That conjured... Less than pleasant memories. Her decision for the Knight-Captain to continue to serve the Inquisition came under fire by nearly everybody except Blackwall who graciously defended her, but not for the purpose she had in mind. The man was lucid and merely did as he was told, and she used that to her advantage. _As much as they gripe and whine about it, it's necessary when we had so little resources and power after Haven. And what of him now? He faithfully serves us and has helped us eliminate more than his fair share of red templars, and Leliana's kept a keen eye on him._

Still, it was a decision she couldn't afford to make this time, judging by the gasps and shocked expressions of the nobles when they heard Ambassador announce what the traitors intended to do. A second chance was no longer an option for it'd plant a seed of fear and dissent, where another had already taken root. She had to yank this plant out and ensure there were no more roots in the soil, so to speak. As Josephine obliged the templars' names and ranks, Sylvira sank in her chair and her eyes narrowed on each of them, her brain worked furiously.

Executing them would add to her ruthless reputation, one of which she'd already been under fire for. Making use of any assets and values will undoubtedly be the same as inviting war on her door step, especially if it's something that could be perceived as her personally gaining from it. It wouldn't matter if it's true or not, _the public eye. Always so troublesome._

"Do you have anything to say in your defense, any of you?" Josephine inquired then swiftly added with a softer tone in case if the men would slander Lavellan and harm the _symbolic_ image of her leadership, "Or would you rather falsely claim innocence and mercy, after planning to betray your own allies and condemn your friends to death?" _Well said, that'll work in my favor if we make them look bad._ The templars exchanged looks then shook their heads as they remained silent, but their gaze never lifted from the dalish woman. "Well Inquisitor... What should we do with them?" _Take them away from me, this fucking buzzing in my arm feels like_ _june_ _beetles are crawling under my skin._ _Fucking anti-magic._ "Where shall they go?"

 _Where?_ That one word alone had been Sylvira's saving grace, she lowered her hands and her piercing citron orbs honed in on the man that seemed to be the most bold and confident of the three. _He may very well be the 'leader' of this little troop._ She swallowed and gave a quiet grunt to clear her throat, she easily settled into a more confident posture and spoke authoritatively, "Knight-Corporal Wiley, Knight-Corporal Parker," _I hope I'm actually getting their ranks right,_ "And Knight-Lieutenant Colton. I hereby strip you of your templar ranks and exile you from Fereldan," she cautiously chose her next words, "I doubt the Crown and Chantry will disagree." _I don't give a shit what either thinks, but it won't hurt to have two major powers on my side._ The court reacted accordingly with their skeptical whispers of exiling the very ones who wanted to leave in the first place and Sylvira relaxed her leg back on the ground as she leaned forward, she ignored the wasps that burrowed in her lower abdomen and composed her features.

Lips curling in a smirk she adds, "I have no right to choose who lives or dies." _This should grant me temporary immunity from slandering gossip, and anyone who used to be friends with these fellows should harbor no ill will for me._ "But I advise you to think very carefully of my next words and your own life choices; it wouldn't be the first time I nor my companions have killed a red templar." She looked over at the Ambassador as she leaned back and relaxed in the luxurious chair, one of which still felt wildly uncomfortable, "Take them away, and strip them of their templar gear before they are cast out of Skyhold."

"Right away, Inquisitor," Josephine's head bowed politely and her heels clicked together, the guards carried off the silent brooding ex-templars and the crowd held nothing but contempt as they stared at the _monstrous_ men. Whispers seemed to be more on Lavellan's side and she relaxed knowing that she shouldn't be under _too_ much fire over this decision, _one less thing to worry about in court._ She forcefully schooled her expression as she scooted forward in the chair then pushed herself off from the arm rests, she glanced up at the beams and repressed the urge to sigh when it seemed as though Sera didn't approve of her judgment. _And it won't stop here._

Ideas bounced around in the back of her mind as she mused the best possible way to convince her lover not to come with her to Halamshiral, with the least amount of detrimental consequences and suspicion. Here in this moment she was like an artist trying to paint a pretty picture, and a writer that scrapped draft after draft for an entire day as they thought of what compelling words to use. She was like Josephine the mastermind wordsmith, and like Leliana as she searches for an opportunity to take advantage of. Everything **but** a lover and girlfriend, for her political status easily threatened her relationship _status_ if she wasn't careful in juggling the two. _It's like the position of Inquisitor condemns me to eternal strife._

Comparisons of her and Celene as well as Sera and Briala continued to linger in her thoughts; the more she was reminded of the agonizing past of the Empress and elven Spymaster, the more she became paranoid that only a tragic end waited for her and the archer. She strode down the hall and periodically glanced up as she watched Sera easily maneuver slim beams, she remained on guard in the event the rogue slipped and magical energy thrummed in the base of her palm as she braced herself to manipulate gravity.

Thankfully nothing happened, and she dismantled the energy as soon as she saw Sera climb down the scaffolding then rush the opposite way of Vivienne. She tapped at a bulged pocket to reassure herself that she still had the dossiers tightly rolled up and bound with a thin piece of twine, to prevent them from unraveling. She hooked her finger in her scarf and jerked it to the side to loosen it up, then steeled herself when she reached the stairs that lead to the courtyard and sucked in a deep breath.

Seconds before she'd been about to lift one foot off the ground to descend a step, Sera appeared by her side and nonchalantly intertwined their hands. "Quit being fuckin' stubborn and wait for me," the archer hissed under her breath to ensure others didn't hear, the bow held in her opposite hand and Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed as she glanced over at her _overly-_ concerned lover. _At least let me try before you turn into a mother hen._ Nonetheless her face remained blank, and she felt the fingers squeeze tightly around hers to help stabilize her as she casually stepped down.

Or at the very least she fought incredibly hard for it to look effortless, for the last thing hundreds needed to see was the Inquisitor visibly suffering from what was _supposedly_ a completely failed assassination attempt where not even a _scratch_ was laid on her. _Widespread panic would have been exactly what Cally wanted, it was wise of the advisers to get things under control as swiftly as they did._ "'Nother thing you gotta know that looks like Red, Ruffles and Curly didn't seem like they wanted to tell ya," _huh?_ Judging by the hesitance in Sera's eyes and her hushed tone, it was bound to be something that the mage wasn't going to like.

"If they didn't inform me, are you sure I **have** to know?"

"I dunno." _What? First I have to know and now you don't know if I should?_ "My room first."

"Sera, I still have things I need to-"

"You gotta hear it." _Fuck. I'm starting to think I shoulda said I need a two day break._ "And then yer gonna tell me why y'let 'em go. Coulda told me to put an arrow between their frigging eyes at least if you can't stand at looking at 'em Syl."

"What? It's not because I couldn't execute them just because I saw them," Sylvira scoffed and chuckled at the notion, "Politics _darling._ I have to play it careful so _I_ don't get torn apart at the Palace, you know how it is." _Shit._ The archer's sideways glance made Lavellan nip her tongue, _I should have said 'we' don't get torn._ Thankfully Sera said nothing and instead the two focused on the trek to the little nook, the moment they entered the tavern several patrons cheered and raised mugs in toast to the Inquisitor. The dalish woman simply grinned proudly especially when there had been cat calls and whistles as she and Sera made way up the stairs, the rogue rolled her eyes and shook her head as she pursed her lips in an attempt not to smirk.

"Who cares what they think? Don't havta bend for 'em."

"It's not about bending, it's about not getting kicked out before we even get into the ball. Think of it as Wicked Grace," Sylvira's ragged breaths echoed in her ears, sweat collected on her brow and her scarf felt incredibly stuffy. She yanked on it in a desperate attempt to release trapped heat and wheezed tiredly, "I have to play my cards right if we want to have a chance to stop Orlais and Thedas from being royally fucked."

"Thought you'd like summin like that Syl," the archer teased lightheartedly, "Fuckin' a whole nation yeah?"

"Heh." She was grateful for Sera's strong grip, just the way she was supported through a damned hand in and of itself was impressive. When she stumbled the rogue nonchalantly wrapped an arm around her waist as she stepped on a stair above her and rose on toes for a kiss, a _brilliant_ cover up and excuse. They took it slower after that, and the pits of Lavellan's belly stirred when the archer parted from her lips only to connect the two with a thin string of saliva. "I'm trying to catch my breath love," she whispered huskily, "You keep taking it away."

"Quit complaining when y'like it perv," Sera retorted playfully and wove both hands together, she walked backwards up the stairs as she supported and guided the tall woman. _She hates acting, yet here she is creating endless excuses to show others that all of this is everything **but** my being injured. And I highly doubt it that she's doing it so others won't panic,_ and the knowledge that it was yet another thing the rogue had done for **her** -just like the ridiculous propaganda plan- made her heart constrict. Her mind was sincerely torn and for once she just couldn't decide if she wanted Sera by her side or not, she wished there was a clear cut sign that slapped her in the face saying _here, take her with you dammit! Or not. I just can't tell..._ The moment they were in the privacy of the rogue's room the door was kicked closed, arms wrapped around Sylvira's neck and she was gently brought down to Sera's height for another hungry kiss.

 _How am I supposed to get anything done when all she ever does is fucking tempt me to rip off her clothes?_ Yet she simply couldn't bring herself to do it and her hands remained passive, resting on the archer's hips as fingers dug in and warred with themselves whether to strip or not. Something screamed at her to stop and yet she hadn't known why, all of it felt _wrong_ for once. Instead she broke away from the plump lips and tilted her head to the side, her eyes slipped shut and she nearly winced from her monotone voice, "What do I have to know?" Sera immediately stepped away and the mage repressed a sigh when she felt the worried hawk-like piercing gaze lock on her, she shook her head and forced a meager smile as she opened her eyes, "It's not because of you or..." Shame filled her and she finished off quietly, "My anxiety." _Great, way to give her ammunition and reasons to be suspicious._

"Syl..." _Here we go, think of something else to tell her that's at least semi-true, then she won't 'smell the bullshit'._ She was surprised when a calloused palm slid along her jawline until it hooked around her nape, the rogue smiled fondly and had an uncharacteristic softness in her tone as she murmured, "It's alright yeah? It always will be." _What is she referring to?_ Before Lavellan had a chance to try and figure out the meaning or connect the dots, Sera pulled on her hands and gestured towards the pillows, "C'mon, lay down."

"Didn't you have something to tell me? What's that got to do with laying down?" These weren't good signs, typically someone was advised to sit down before being handed grave news, _but laying down?_ Thousands of terrible ideas crossed the mage's mind and now she was a little paranoid, the first and most incessant one being that Sera wanted to break up with her, _but what's that got to do with the advisers? And she wouldn't kiss me like this either right?_ Sensing the paranoia -or rather seeing it plain in the nervous-stricken citron orbs- the archer swallowed audibly and started reluctantly.

"Uh, well remember the soldiers that were stuck in the middle of nowhere with those freaks attacking them?" _What? Who is she referring to?_

"Freaks?"

"Well y'know, where our guys were tailing those fucked up helm polishers with people going to a mine or summin, well not anymore and the helm polishers are fucked up but-"

"Sera wait," Sylvira rose her hand and her head tilted in confusion, until realization suddenly dawned on her, _oh._

 _ **Oh fuck.**_

"The red templars that were hoarding civilians to a red lyrium mine?" Her stomach sank when the rogue nodded fervently, she knew what was coming from a mile away now and she absolutely **hated** it. _When I said I wanted a sign to slap me, this isn't what I had in mind._ Alarms and warning bells were going off in her brain and she tensed as she braced herself to act shocked, but at this point in time she knew for a fact it would be seen through immediately. _She knows me like the back of her hand._ "So they were rescued and the other soldiers that were pinned by the avvar are...?" _Dead. And their bodies are back, thanks to their friends who were ordered to retrieve frozen corpses that were probably half picked by scavenging ravens and vultures._

"Um... Well that's probly why you oughta lay down, you won't like it."

"When have I ever heard a report that I liked Sera?" The forced half-jest didn't work as well as the mage wished it could, and she noticed the way the razor sharp slits constricted just the slightest bit. There was suspicion in the big hazel eyes peering up at her, and so in desperation she took the archer's offer as she cautiously stepped around Sera then made way to sit down. "Before you continue, the templars that I exiled today... Are they by any chance related to this case?" _Were they part of the_ _red templar tracking party, or were they sent to retrieve the bodies of our fallen soldiers?_

"Uh, well maybe kinda sorta?" The rogue easily caved in under the citron orb's calculating gaze, "Okay yeah they are. But they deserve what they got for thinking 'bout stabbing us in the back after what they saw yeah?" _What did they see and do exactly?_ "Summin ain't right with their heads if they see all that shite and **want** to be all let's have rocks growin' outta us and hurt little people, grand plan yeah? Just cuz their buddies died that don't mean-" _oh fuck. This is going to end badly._ And now the dalish woman felt sick to her stomach, her knees felt weak and she plopped down on the seat none too gently. Her facial expression contorted before there was any time to compose it and burning pain diffused the entirety of her hip and stomach, Sera instantly knelt in front of her but the words were lost to the temporary white-noise ringing that settled in her ears. "Talk to me luv, are you alright?"

"It's my fault," the words tumbled out of Lavellan's mouth before her mind had enough sense to shut it and save herself from the inevitable argument. "It was my order."

"Wha...? The fuck you on 'bout Syl? It ain't yer fault, y'did all that y'could but they were just too late and-"

"No, Sera." _What am I doing? Why am I telling her? It's done, gone, I made this choice and I stand by it. Why-_ "I chose the civilians over our soldiers," her emotions severed, her voice lost it's tone as she finished in a chilling emotionless voice, "I ordered and condemned our troops to death." The way the razor sharp slits flared with rage and how the archer's jawline instantly tensed at the unexpected confession made Sylvira kick herself over and over again, she screamed at herself within her mind for being so _bloody fucking_ _ **stupid**_ _, why tell her?_ "I couldn't save both."

"I... Don't get it, I thought you said...?" She couldn't meet the angry eyes, and instead Sylvira averted her gaze to the floor, between the small gap of her knees. _Why did I confess? I was prepared with my order_ _and excuses_ _, I made my choice_ _and stand by it_ _. My conscience_ _must be_ _clear,_ _t_ _his is part of the job._ Sera sucked in a slow and deep breath then rose silently, and the dalish woman braced herself for the slap across her face. "So you lied to me." It wasn't an inquiry, but a factual statement. "Again. As fucking **usual** , why am I not surprised?" The cutting words made her heart sink until she couldn't feel anything anymore, she'd effectively shut off and pulled the _plant_ out so that there were no more roots in the soil. She couldn't answer, couldn't nod, all she could manage to do was look up at her lover and hadn't winced when Sera inhaled sharply. _This is what it means to be the Inquisitor,_ _just like the Empress._ "Just how fucking low can you go, Syl?"

"Sera let me explain, I couldn't... There was no other way, and protecting the innocent comes first. We've greatly hindered the red templars by destroying the mine and supply depot, that is if the mission was a success." _It'd be a complete waste of life if not,_ _and my judgment would be meaningless like most of my decisions_ _._ "Was it?" _Were the civilians freed at least, or did our soldiers die in vain?_ Inner war festered within the razor sharp slits, but instead of the expected outburst the archer turned around and left her alone in the room. _This is worse than a slap,_ _and as clear sign as any_ _._ Silence.

 _A guilty conscience needs no accuser._

* * *

Sweating, swearing, Sylvira stood atop the stairs and clutched the railing with a death grip. She tried desperately hard to ignore the familiar woman at the usual corner table, back faced to her and drinking away all by their lonesome self. _I don't need her._ A shaky step down, a small wet trail went down her nape and between her shoulder blades before she adjusted the scarf again. Her entire body felt like a sauna and the burn encompassed the whole of her hip as she took another step down, she had to move quickly and suck it up if she wanted to put on a show that everything was okay and that the Inquisitor wasn't _disabled_ or _weak._ Things the mage was still convinced she was nonetheless, and it angered her.

Something suddenly appeared in her peripheral vision but before she stumbled and lost balance, a gentle hand carefully enclosed over her sensitive forearm and sky blue pulsed _behind_ her eyes. _Cole?_ The young spirit merely stared expectantly and then it dawned on her, she was unconscious for two days and she'd completely forgotten about- "They are releasing." _Fuck._ "I can help." _There isn't much time._ She nodded and swallowed her pride as she hastily made it down the stairs, grateful when the young man let go of her and trailed after her outside the tavern.

Something burned in the back of her head and she was almost positive what that was, but she couldn't afford to dwell on it and risk worsening her condition. _Cole, I need you to go to my room and find the tome in my drawer, then flip to page-_ "134, nullification enchantment." _Yes, good._ The moment the spirit disappeared relief welled up in her that he more than likely saw the mental images as she briefly walked through her room within her mind to try and remember where the tome was last, _glad I was only out for two days or I'd be in even worse pain right now._

"Big Sis?"

 _ **FUCK** **.**_

Turning with a forced smile, Sylvira gritted her teeth and braced herself when both Uvun and Grâce's eyes lit up with excitement as they descended the steps from the battlements. She held a hand out to signal stop when both girls charged for her and hastily added, "No flattening Big Sis in a pancake, not for a little while okay?" _Do they even understand what happened? I hope not, but they're smart girls. They more than likely pieced it together themselves even if others treated them like dumb and incapable toddlers._

"C'mon I'm going to my room, you two haven't bounced on the bed for a while right?" She had to pull out all stops and immediately distract the two so that she could continue to her chambers, she couldn't afford to slow down especially when she knew climbing up the stairs was going to take precious time in and of itself. Uvun and Grâce giggled madly and nodded furiously, they ran past her and she let out a breath she hadn't even known she held. As she spun on her heel she noticed the tavern door swung open and averted her gaze before it had any chance of connecting with the familiar woman, her heart buried underneath protective layers and she simply shut Sera out to the point her mind referred her to as _Red Jenny._

Anger welled up before it dissipated, and so had the guilt before it'd effectively been choked at the root. Why had she even confessed? All she had to do was simply not think about it at all, and eventually it would have passed. She'd ordered worse things before, **done** worse before, and yet her conscience still seemed conflicted with this case. Now it was off her chest, _and nothing good has come from it whatsoever._ Her fists clenched and she forced her leg up a little higher as she cautiously climbed the steps to the keep, she had to distract her mind from the quivering - _ah the quivering, now I know why_ \- and the pain that coursed from head to toe.

Things would inevitably be better once she'd nullified the reactions between the brand and the runes. _I'll never be able to understand how to manifest and wield the power in the runes if they're constantly rendered useless as well,_ but one thing she had finally clued in to was that it seemed to act of it's own accord in regards to unwanted touch. Was that all it took, was that the only way it'd be activated? " _Fuck,_ " she hissed lowly under her breath after she'd finally made it inside the keep, her forehead was sheen with sweat and she quickly wiped it away before anybody saw. She gave small half-smirks as she passed by nobles, those who hadn't worn masks had expressions that seemingly congratulated her for her public judgment of the templars.

 _At least one thing is going right._ She had a couple of days to recover, no doubt the day before their departure would be dedicated to things like being certain their tailored uniforms fit properly and to ensure Skyhold was in safe hands after the main leaders leave. _No doubt Josie will employ the Seneschal to see to all matters, he'll more than likely tear his hair out._ She strode down the keep and ignored the trembling in her hand as she reached for the door handle, she stuffed her bandaged hand in her pocket and glanced around to reassure herself nobody could possibly be able to see the blue lines that must have lit up underneath her sleeves. Just as she was in the safety and privacy of the tower leading to her chambers, she braced one hand along the stone wall and took a moment to catch both breath and composure.

Dread filled her just at the sight of the stairs, and her knees weakened just at the knowledge she had to climb all of them by herself before salvation. A small part of her whispered Sera's name, wished the archer would be there by her side, until the _better_ and more independent part of her lashed out in kind. _Trust nobody but yourself, the one rule that has always kept me alive. I've been fighting to survive ever since I was born. I'm not a survivor. I'm a_ ** _fucking warrior_** _._ Before she was about to lift her leg, Cole appeared by her side once again with the tome in his hands and he ushered gently, "Uvun and Grâce are in your room, I thought it would be better here."

 _Good call_ _Cole_ _._ She nodded in understanding and turned towards him, pulling out the glasses in her other pocket and sliding them on without any qualms. There was _something_ about this spirit that made accepting certain things about herself almost _easier,_ but she amounted this comfort to the fact that she had already been seen in public with her glasses. A pulse beneath her sleeve, she had precious little time left and it was a damned miracle her flare up had waited this long. _Tch, 'miracle'._ The passage was opened and waited for her, her finger smoothed along the lines and she murmured the foreign words that even she hadn't completely understood what they translated into in the King's Tongue. _Perhaps a scholar or circle mage might though._

With a little magic injected into the paper, the engraved words reacted and she felt energy circulate until it changed into something else, her spine tingled as a calm and cool wave flooded her veins and eased her pains. The words on the page lit up and then dulled, the application of the effects and protective enchantment itself brought swift relief. As soon as familiar creaks sounded out behind her, she snatched the tome from the spirit and tucked it under her arm pit as Cole slithered to the shadows when he sensed her thoughts to disappear. And now dread welled up in her for an entirely different reason, her emotions flared for a moment before they'd severed and she inquired in a chilling monotone voice, "What do you want, Red Jenny?"

Hurt clearly flashed across Sera's eyes and her ears drooped the slightest bit as her expression fell, she seemed harried and out of breath as if she rushed here... But the mage just _couldn't_ care. It wasn't as though she could snap her fingers and feel once again, for her defensive mechanisms were now in proper place.

"If you're here expecting me to grovel at your feet and beg for forgiveness, turn around." Sylvira had done so as she faced the stairs once more, agony ebbed out of her system yet the wasps still remained burrowed at the junction of her hip and lower stomach. "I've nothing more to say, it was foolish of me to confess over what's done and even more stupid that I felt guilty for doing what must be done." She wished she could keep everything shut off, but anger easily filtered in and guided her tongue as the venomous words continued to tumble out, "And I'm not going to say sorry for doing what nobody else has the guts to do. My own _fuck buddy_ can't even-"

" _Syl, stop._ " The shaky plea went unheeded as the dalish woman forced herself to take a step, she held a hand out behind her when she heard Sera's sharp inhale and the rustling of her coming closer.

" **You** stop. Don't come near me." Her jaw clenched to the point it hurt, something deep within screamed with rage and warred with another that cried and begged she set aside her pride. "I'm tired of being judged by the woman who supposedly doesn't judge, I'm tired of being treated as a criminal **by** a criminal, and I'm tired of making the effort to understand **you** when you practically refuse to do the same for me. All out of instinct. It's your first reaction every time, to look at me like I'm living trash. Heavens forbid if I ever called you out on your fucking _questionable_ decisions, shit would fly then but oh no it's alright if it's me. _Fuck._ " Her breathing grew ragged with each step, her palm scratched along the stone wall and she didn't need to look to _feel_ the dejected rogue linger close behind her as a just in case. As soon as she stumbled and saw a supportive hand coming her way, she quickly recovered her balance and snapped vehemently, " **Don't fucking touch me.** " _I can do just fine on my own._

 _ **Failure.**_

 _Shut up! I don't want to remember **her** , I can't._ Another step and her thighs quivered, her stomach churned uneasily. The thick tome squished against her ribs ached and she spat under her breath, "Uvun and Grâce are playing in my room. If you have anything to say or more judgmental and hypocritical crap to spew at me, I suggest you get it over with now so that they don't have to see or hear this horse shit." She scoffed bitterly under her breath, "I can never fucking win, no matter where I stand. If civilians die I'm a monster, if our soldiers die I'm a monster, if people I've never even fucking heard of die then I'm the fucking devil's incarnate, because I **should** have somehow known." The woman behind her remained silent and the tension hung thick in the air as she forced herself to take each step, all the pressure that ever burdened her and was bottled up for the sake of this _bloody_ relationship continued to spill forth until she was left completely drained by the end of her rant.

"It's like a fucking minefield with you. I say one wrong word and you explode, like that bullshit when I compared you to Briala. If I don't act accordingly by _your_ standards you explode, like when that traitorous bitch Tavhen was tortured. Every time your memory fails you, **I** am the fucking bad guy and **I** get in trouble for your faults. Not you.  Me. But heaven fucking forbid if I ever explode, like now. This is fucking bullshit and it's not even going anywhere," she momentarily stopped before the next and last staircase as she shoved her hand in her pocket while she squished the tome closer to her. She took out the roll of dossiers and pulled at the twine with her teeth until she divided the pages, keeping the ones about the _main squeezes_ for herself.

"Here." She rotated her torso and ignored the bright glassy look in Sera's eyes as she shoved a stack in calloused palms, "Those are all the nobles coming to the Winter Palace that have either talked shit about the Inquisition -or me, **not** a surprise- or have outright refused to support our forces because of stupid shit. Like that guy who implied we're incompetent because women -or me, still **not** a surprise- are running this organization. I got this information for your Jennies, but I think it'd be best if you went to have some fucking fun robbing vaults instead. Blow off your steam from how big of a fucking heartless asshole your girlfriend is and all that shit." Age old hurt had been dug up and surfaced, things that happened so damned long ago she couldn't remember _when,_ only that it happened, "You also said that yourself, remember? That you trust me to be a heartless prick, that I'm the worst of them all and I'm not even a noble."

" _Syl,_ " the shaky voice and the way the archer looked pleadingly at her went unheeded, tears were repressed and Sera gulped audibly, " _Please_ just-"

"I'm gonna pull a **you** , _darling,_ " Lavellan sneered and rolled the remaining pages until she stuffed it in her pocket, "I'm not going to listen to what you have to say or your logical explanations even if they make _complete_ fucking sense." The sniffle echoed within the tower and beckoned to something within her, but she had already been far too gone and consumed by the poisonous wrath. Her temper teetered on the edge as everything that had been bottled up and pushed down into the depths in hopes it'd be forgotten instead rose to the forefront of her mind, and she was nearly positive she'd go batshit insane soon.

Was this the result of the neurotoxins, were her emotions out of control because of the poison that lingered in her system? Or was it all the ranting of a woman who was simply fed up and tired with all the _bullshit_ constantly thrown at her by **everyone** , even the one she'd trusted her shackled heart with? Even worse, was that it could be a combination of both toxin and venomous rage. Her voice had been severed from emotion and once again slipped into it's monotone state, "Go. I believe I've given you a task Red Jenny."

Everyone would conveniently forget about her own feelings and push it all on her, thinking that just because of her _asshole_ reputation they assume she can take it. _I can't. I can't and don't want to deal with fucking anything anymore. I've had enough._ And now just as it was all pushed on her, she pushed it on Sera. Another sniffle, and she averted her angry glare to the floor as her own eyes itched in response. _Fuck, I **hate** it when she cries._

"I'm _sorry_ Syl," the sincerity of her lover's remorse threatened her control, and her fist clenched to the point her nails painfully dug into her palm. In her mind she knew she ought to have disarmed the situation, calmed down, joke away and dismantle the rage festered in her chest... But for some reason all of this seemed more _alluring_ instead, as if she _wanted_ to feel like shit and make it all worse. She wanted to tear and destroy everything, she wanted to project her anger and make everyone feel her wrath. _In a strange way, I've fallen in love with my depression._ Her eyebrows furrowed when lithe arms cautiously made it around her waist, and a familiar face buried between her shoulder blades. Her heart sagged at the barely audible whisper, "You always push me away when you want me to pull you closer."

"Sera-"

" _Please_ stop Syl," another sniffle, and Lavellan's anger rapidly turned to direct at herself now that regret trickled through the trance-like haze, _degraded shit, making her cry._ " _Please_ don't push me away. I'm _sorry,_ " the archer choked out miserably, "I didn't mean, fuck I'm just-I'm _sorry_ but _please_ , **please** don't push me away. It hurts to see you like this, luv." _See me?_ "Hurts even more to hear it." The face rubbed in between her shoulder blades and the tall woman merely stood, no words came to mind and she was at a complete loss of what to do as she felt her shirt stick to her when tears soaked through. Sera had been desperately trying to hold them back, and it was then Sylvira began to wonder why in the world the rogue chased after her and into this tower.

Calm gradually came back to her and conscience thought returned to push back the heated words, along with heavy sorrowful regret that crashed down on her like a sack of bricks. _I snapped at her for no reason, when she made the effort to swallow her pride and come after me. Could I claim of trying the same? I've cast aside, but never chased._ She was frustrated over her fickle emotions, or how easily it was for her to be calm and the next destroy everything around her like a tornado. " _Please..._ Come back, it's scary as fuck when yer eyes are empty and y'sound dead Syl. I'm sorry, okay?" _I'm the worst._ "Don't push me away, don't leave me alone **again**." _Again?_ " Please." Never before had she ever heard Sera plea this much, she figured that the archer would have rather died than beg and **her** of all people. Just that alone tugged at her heart strings, yet she was in no position to move with the lithe arms that held in her place.

"Let me turn-"

" _No._ " _What? Why?_ The muffled whine that seemed so damn close to breaking and turn into outright wailing made the mage's muscles _scream_ to move, "Don't want you to look."

"Then I won't, I'll stare at the ceiling." Long minutes passed but Lavellan was in no particular rush, in fact she was actually dreading what she'd see especially if the rogue didn't want her to look. Eventually the hold on her loosened and she slowly turned around, she abruptly dropped the tome without caring and neither winced at the harsh clatters as the sounds echoed within the tower. She kept her word and stared directly up, her hands already mapped and memorized the trembling body pressed to her.

 _I'm scared of seeing her in tears, why the fuck did I snap? I've always been fine before._ Her arms easily hooked around Sera's shoulders and she drew the archer in for a tighter embrace as a hand wove in the disheveled blonde hair, inwardly chanting in her mind to stave off the hellish anxiety when the tear-stricken face pressed into her chest. She swiftly tugged and moved the dangling ends of the scarf out of the way before she craned her neck as low as she could, she gently pressed her lips against the top of Sera's head and murmured remorsefully, "I'm sorry too, cookie. I didn't mean to get angry and say those terrible things to you, will you forgive me love? Not now of course... But someday, possibly?"

Fingers tightly bunched up her shirt at the stomach, and the nausea that sat at the base of the throat threatened to ruin their moment when the rogue fervently nodded up and down, still pressed as close as the hug allowed. Another soft kiss to the top of the unkempt head and she stayed just to inhale the scent of mead and honey to stave off the smell of salty tears, Sylvira rhythmically stroked the rogue's hair and firm back in what she hoped brought at least a small semblance of comfort to soothe the sobbing away.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled mournfully, her mouth pressed harder and her eyes squeezed shut, "I'll never push you away ever again Sera. I **promise**." _She's coming with me. She's always made sure to stay by my side, and now it's my turn to make sure of the same._ Their heads shot up to the top of the stairs, the dalish woman rotated her torso as far as she could when she heard a creaky door and a pair of footsteps hesitantly plop out.

"Big Sis?" Uvun called out, "Is that you?" _How'd they know to come out?_ "We thought we heard something crash in here," _oh right, she's also got really good hearing._ "And-"

"Yeah sorry I dropped a book," Lavellan interjected quickly, and ensured her shoulder blocked the archer's face when she ducked away out of the kids' view. _It'll do no good to worry them after all, especially since they too have been through a lot._ "Icky-Kisses-"

" _ **Oi**_ ," the warning mumble was too much, and the mage couldn't help but grin impishly as she finished.

"And I will be up there in a few minutes okay? We're having a spontaneous icky hug right now." Giggles sounded out and footsteps rushed down, Sylvira's hand encouraged the rogue to bury her face in her chest and mentally chanted louder to drown out the paranoid voices of her anxiety. She prepared herself and her muscles tensed to root the two into the ground, and seconds later she felt the children collide into her legs to join the embrace. Their carefree laughter resounded in the tower and Lavellan's heart felt lighter when she saw Sera's head turn the opposite way so they still hadn't seen her, a soft smile on her face. Sylvira kissed the blonde hair and grinned when Uvun and Grâce made mocking kissing noises, she reveled in the fact that the archer's ears no longer drooped sadly as she whispered fondly under her breath, "I love you, Sera." _I never knew her ears could do that. I don't ever want to see it again._

"Love you too, Syl." _Fuck, still gets me every time._

"Icky-Kisses and Big Sis, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" _Whatever may come at the Winter Palace..._ The children sang the song in perfect synchrony and Lavellan was relieved to hear Sera's mischievous snickering until she too joined in to sing the rest.

 _Bring it. The **both** of us can take anything that's thrown at us._


	29. No Need to Hide Who You Really Are

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 02-11-2016

 **AN:** Now we see Sera's side during an argument :) I promise it's not brutal like the last one, Sylvira is starting to open up more in her own way and slowly working past the 'hedgehog dilemma'. I read the first two chapters during the time I was reading this and wow, we went from shameless flirt with the worst pick up lines ever to an actual serious relationship lol.

I apologize ahead of time that there's still no Winter Palace since I've fleshed out a few more things that I just can't wait to get to the end result for XD Halamshiral _should_ be in the next chapter though! Brace yourself for a rollercoaster ride of ups and downs in this chapter :) Also as a side note, I'm halfway to being able to set aside some extra cash to afford a decent laptop, so the slow updates will continue for another few weeks.

 _Nyx:_ I don't blame you for being mad at Syl, and I was pleasantly surprised at your thorough defense and just how much opening up actually meant (along with pointing out the flaws like the hypocrisy as such). Glad you caught that mate :P Hope you won't have to super slap anyone else or the director, he needs to recover from that slap lol.

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Fisara:_ Hungry for the poetry of the journey (as a refresher this is the name of the established 'storyteller' in clan Lavellan for this story)

* * *

 **No Need to Hide Who You Really Are**

* * *

Long hours passed before the children settled and passed out on the bed from the exhaustion of jumping on it, and Sera had already been sleeping away on the couch. _Uvun was particularly inquisitive about what had happened but..._ Sylvira's gaze lingered on the young dalish girl and her mind felt _heavier,_ she opted to dismiss the traumatic assassination attempt and played it off as if it were nothing. _Judging by the look on Sera's face she didn't agree, but what else was I supposed to do? 'Yes kiddos, Big Sis nearly died mere meters away from you and she's still in a lot of pain.'_ She strode to her desk and carefully slid out a drawer then fished for her older journal, she was cautious enough not to make any noise so as not to wake anybody.

 _Of course I'm going to lie and say I'm okay, the former would only stress them out and they don't need that kind of crap._ _Why worry them?_ _They've been through enough._ She found the journal she wanted and slid the drawer closed, she checked if the others were still asleep then slowly made way for the balcony outside, _okay to be fair I doubt Sera would break it to them like that but still... There's no need to bring it up, right? If something was bugging them then they'd tell me wouldn't they?_ She sighed dejectedly then adjusted her glasses as she looked up at the night sky, her breaths puffed out in little clouds as she inhaled the crisp air.

 _Half the day is already nearly gone, just like that. The sun is already setting and I've accomplished absolutely nothing productive._ _Not even hungry either, that's not a good sign._ She flipped through the pages of the journal, an idea hit her earlier in the day when she remembered an experiment in which the results would be incredibly useful for when she went to the Winter Palace. She stopped at the double dog-eared mark and smirked to herself as she read the entry, _Solace 31 Freakdays Loser didn't get: You suck. S2 Sera, heh._ She made a mental note to add an entry for today, Matrinalis the 15th - _or tomorrow_ \- and write a brief summary of the action plan for the Winter Palace as well as additional notes after she'd read through the results of her experiment. She continued to thumb through the dates and smiled when she fell on the page with all the doodles of the patterns that comprised of the rune she wanted.

 _9:41 Dragon Bloomingtide 9th_

 _Passages 212-219 theoretically impossible, would be preferable to have a subject to test on. I don't trust anybody here, only me._ Below there were the patterns, along with the _informal_ conclusion compared to her usual experimental notes. _Spell backfired. Theory incorrect, rune pattern incorrect. Benefits once activated, but permanent side effects._

Largely relying on memory as to what these effects entailed after careful study of the patterns, Lavellan ensured her notes remained as vague as this so that anybody else who had read through her journal would have to draw the patterns to find out what these results were themselves. _And nobody would willingly dive into a random person's experiments with conclusions like these, unless they were insane and didn't care what happened to themselves._ Her mouth curled in a frighteningly eager grin when another idea hit her, _I could use this for a prank, show Sera, earn her forgiveness._ It bothered her more than it should have that the archer **didn't** do anything to exact revenge, all clothes remained in the drawer and Sylvira was never berated nor smacked across the head.

 _It doesn't feel right. Or maybe she's planning something bigger? I highly doubt she's forgiven me just like that but... She hasn't showed any signs that she's still pissed off with me, I don't get it. She would be, she **should** be, so why isn't she?_ "Hey..." The sleepy mumble made the mage's head snap over her shoulder, her lips quirked up in a small smile and she rotated her torso as far as she could before the stinging wasps burrowed inside her lower abdomen, _did I wake her?_ Sera tiredly wiped at her eyes as she plopped over, her gaze flickered to the small journal in Lavellan's hand and she shook her head with a subtle _smile_ in her voice as she teased, "What happened to hating work, Syl?"

"It's not work if it's plotting for only the best prank ever," _hook, line and sinker._ Sylvira grinned proudly when she instantly garnered her lover's interest as she waved the book up and down, "An old experiment of mine and before you-" the archer rolled her eyes and Lavellan's grin only grew, "Roll your eyes, let me just tell you it will be the greatest magical moment you've ever witnessed."

"Uh huh." _I see you haven't called bullshit. Because it isn't and you know it._ "So what are you gonna do?"

"It's a secret." Her cheeks were hurting from the large smile while Sera gave her a warning glare, a warning that went unheeded. "Trust me when I say it'll be the most glorious prank you'll have ever seen executed."

"Nothing's better than the stuff I can think up Syl."

"I beg to differ." The flash in the rogue's eyes only served to fuel her confidence, or was it arrogance? It was a look that clearly screamed _challenge accepted,_ and the dalish woman circled behind Sera then wrapped her arms around the waist after she stuffed the journal in her pocket. "Excited?"

"To kick your ass? Always." _And this time I truly do deserve it. So why aren't you?_

"I already knew that, I meant to see what I've thought up."

"Bet it'll be nothing."

"Bet you'll admit that it's good."

"Bet I'll smack you 'cross the head if you don't shut up."

"Ouch so mean," Sylvira craned her neck and pressed her lips against the archer's throat, her teeth grazed the crook of the neck and shoulder before she lightly sucked in a patch of skin. Her nerves tingled at the sound of Sera's small gasp, and the pits of her belly already stirred with want, _fuck. The kids are behind us..._ She quickly pulled off her glasses when they slid down her nose and stuffed them in her opposite pocket, it left her feeling odd upon realizing that neither her nor her lover cared about the glasses anymore. _We've come far, or I have anyways. I would have never thought I'd ever be comfortable with it._

"Syl," the husky whisper did wonders and Lavellan was grateful when the rogue turned in her embrace, "We can't-" _we can,_ a flicker of a smile and Sera corrected with a teasing tone, "We **shouldn't**." _She remembers too._ The mage simply gazed into the hazel eyes and her hands moved of their own accord, her thumb swiped along the freckled cheekbone and she leaned down for a kiss. She felt the way calloused hands grabbed her shoulders as the archer rose on toes to meet her and when sharp canines nibbled on her bottom lip, she summoned every ounce of self-restraint to repress the urges to growl or moan.

"The shit you do to me," Sylvira whispered, she was torn between remorse and wanting to continue, "You shouldn't..."

"Why not?" _There's no way you forgot what I said to you in the tower,_ "Feels good, **is** good." _That's it? After all the bad you just-_ and then she stopped in her tracks when Sera bit her lip again, _**fuck**_. Lavellan's hands slid down and her fingers dug into the archer's hips, she nearly shuddered when plump lips teased her earlobe and a soft murmur tickled her ear. "Better make it up to me luv."

" _Sera,_ " Sylvira's fingers flexed when the rogue pushed down her scarf and latched on her neck, and anxiety stirred in the depths with pleasure. " _Fuck,_ what are you trying to do to me?" _This is torture._ She felt the way the lips spread into a grin against her skin, _she's so damn proud. I would be too._

"Tell me you'll make it up to me, Syl." A teasing lick, and Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed as her eyes shut instinctively. Ice-cold heat shot up her spine and her breath hitched, the words died in her throat and her head dropped to rest on the archer's shoulder. _Is this how it feels when I do this to her?_ The anxiety churned harder and her heart rose higher to her throat when calloused hands pulled at her shirt to sneak under, nails lightly skimmed down her stomach but stopped before her healing wound. "Say it." _This is what gets you off, what you enjoy, isn't it?_ _The moment I open my mouth-_

"I promise-" a sharp inhale when the nails raked down a touch bit harder to interrupt her, _I knew it._ She finished through gritted teeth, "I'll make it up to you." Just as she felt Sera's fingers ghost higher, her hands shot out to grip the rogue's wrists and she shook her head, she didn't dare open her eyes and see the look of disappointment. _Why isn't she mad? Why is she insistent on touching me instead?_ Her heart sank when the dejected whisper reached her ears, and her eyes snapped open only to see nothing but concern swimming in the hazel orbs.

"Don't you want me to touch you, Syl?"

"More than I can _breathe,_ " there was no hesitance or doubt whatsoever, but it was the fact that Lavellan felt as though she would snap if her anxiety squeezed out the rest of the oxygen in the air. A lump constricted her throat and her body felt as though it was on fire even outdoors in the chilly evening air, a bead of sweat slid down the side of her face and disappeared beneath her scarf. The tips of Sera's nails against her skin tested her very patience and the moment faint sky blue pulsed in her peripheral vision, they both sighed. "Sorry love..." _This is bullshit._ "One day I swear I'll-"

"It's okay, yeah." The archer's tone suggested that she tried to convince herself more than Sylvira and the dalish woman frowned, _how long before that one day actually becomes today?_ "Just thought I'd try is all, see how much farther I can go." _Not very far._ "Can't do much with the kiddos sleepin' on yer bed behind us anyways, maybe after all this rubbish with nobs is over you'll relax a bit more." _Will I truly? There is always something I must see to, or the world acts as if it will crumble to dust if I don't make decisions._ The meek smile when the rogue parted was what did Lavellan in, and this particular decision came easily.

"Try again." The mage instead pushed at Sera's wrists until she felt calloused fingers connect with her upper stomach, and her temperature flared as did the nausea that came with the anxiety. The archer's eyes widened but Sylvira gave her no time to protest when she leaned down to steal a kiss, then whispered against Sera's mouth, "As long as I have something else to focus on, I should be able to stall it for longer." _It? What would happen if these uncomfortable sensations overwhelmed me, if I lost control?_ She was relieved when her lover hadn't argued, and her heart swelled with warmth when she could feel the way the calloused hands explore cautiously, gently, while granting the distraction Lavellan dearly needed. And then it all crashed down once more.

"Big Sis?" _**Shit** **.**_ Sera carefully extracted her hands so as not to raise suspicion, and Sylvira refrained from outwardly cursing at the sight of her lover's lips pursed in a sorry attempt to stifle the amused smirk. _You're disappointed too, don't even._ As soon as her shirt was tugged down and hung over her belt, the mage turned around and mustered a smile in which she hoped didn't portray how she actually felt.

"What's up, Uvun?" The young dalish girl averted her gaze to the ground and Lavellan exchanged confused glances with Sera when Uvun shuffled her feet, _her entire posture screams-_ "Did you have a bad dream?" Her stomach sank when the child reluctantly nodded a few seconds later, and she dearly hoped it hadn't been another traumatic memory relived in vivid detail. She slowly knelt on one knee then extended her arms, she braced herself for the impact when Uvun crashed into her for a comforting hug. Or what she hoped was one, for she felt wildly awkward with affection and the echoes of pain lingered around her mind as it swallowed thought by thought.

 _At least Grâce is still asleep, that's one good thing._ Her eyes shot up when she noticed a hand run through Uvun's hair and she was puzzled by the soft smile on Sera's face, though before she could deduce the meaning of the expression the young dalish girl stole her attention with a wavering mumble in her shirt, "Can you and Icky-Kisses-"

" _Oi,_ seriously..." _It's forever your nickname love, might as well get used to it because I'll never let it change._

"Sleep beside me and Grâce?" _Shit, I still wanted to stay up and get something done..._ Another glance up at the archer and she gulped audibly, the razor sharp slits flashed warningly and Sylvira nodded perhaps a little _too_ eagerly. _It's a matter of life and death after all, it's still mind-boggling that Sera is this protective over the kiddos._

"Sure," the mage leaned back and grinned exaggeratedly in hopes the silly expression would both reassure and cheer Uvun up. She squeezed the dalish girl's shoulders and ignored the blatant look of disagreement Sera gave her as she inquired gently, "Want to tell me about your dream before we head to bed?" Her heart faltered when Uvun's eyes glued to the floor once more as she shook her head, and Lavellan squeezed again before she carefully rose, "Alright no problem." _I have another idea in mind anyways._ "C'mon then let's go." As the dalish girl ran back to bed, Sylvira steeled herself when she glanced at the rogue and repressed the urge to sigh at the annoyed glare, _here we go._ She leaned forward to whisper in Sera's ear so that Uvun couldn't hear them, "I know you think it'd probably make things worse, but it's important to know what sorts of dreams in case if it's-"

"A really shite memory?" _I was going to suggest hints of magical talent, but that would just piss you off even more._ "Say more things that really hurt?" _More?_ "Let's just go to sleep." The archer's swift escape and bitter tone hadn't completely confused Lavellan when she connected the dots, and her heart constricted with guilt. _I don't understand, if you're mad at me why aren't you taking it out on me, like you always have? What's different now?_ She strode back inside and head towards her desk, then opened a drawer to leave her journal and glasses inside. As she looked up, she wasn't quite sure to make of the current situation; the rogue had been behind Uvun and there was no more room on the bed except on Grâce's side.

 _Guess that means I'm not sleeping beside Sera..._ She repressed the dejected sigh as she carefully stepped on the heel of her boot then pulled her leg out, and did the same with the other albeit with more wrestling when the sock kept slipping. _I can't bend down yet,_ her eyebrows furrowed at that thought, _as much as I hate it I **need** Sera's help, and what do I do to thank her for it? Snap and yell._ As she got closer to the bed she froze in her tracks when the archer lifted her head to mumble, "I'll hug this one, you hug the other in case she has a bad dream too." _For fuck's **sake** , what the hell are you trying to do to me?_

"Good idea love," Sylvira nearly melted in relief when Sera had a proud smile before she readjusted her position to draw Uvun in a closer embrace. The mage couldn't help but observe and study for a bit longer, her gaze lingered on the fact how the two wore similar shoes. And then her heart skipped a beat when her eyes traveled upwards to both blonde heads-albeit different colors, and she swiftly moved to Grâce's side when the rogue looked up at her with a confused expression. _Holy shit, what the hell was that?_ For the briefest of moments the dalish woman made a connection between the two that had actually terrified her, _but_ _both_ _in a good_ _and bad_ _way_ _at the same time_ _, does that even make sense?_

 **Family.**

 _From that angle they looked so similar with the shoes and blonde hair, it's hard not to think of them as mom and daughter..._ Bitter memories resurfaced upon remembering her own biological family, and she easily dismissed her parents without a second thought. _You don't need to be related by blood to be family,_ her eyes softened and her lips curled into a smile as she cautiously took her _designated_ spot behind Grâce without instigating too much pain from her injury. She felt the way Sera watched her but ignored the worried hawk-eyes as she settled on her left side, she was sure she couldn't take anymore when the orlesian girl slowly stirred from sleep and gradually adjusted to lay on her side as well. _This is too much, what the fuck are you all trying to do to me?_ _You're all working together to make my heart implode or something._

With a look of encouragement from her lover, Lavellan carefully wrapped her arm around Grâce's stomach though still felt _off_ and uncomfortable, and then she noticed the way Sera lifted her head with concern etched in the razor sharp slits. The mage felt as though she was disconnected, and it was honestly difficult for her to relax enough to let her guard down even around children. She stared back at the archer and shook her head so as not to make a big issue out of whatever it was Sera saw, and Sylvira scooted closer to conform to the younger girl's body and felt _farther_ away from herself when Grâce pressed into her. She nearly winced when her monotone voice rang loud and clear as she murmured, "Good night sweet dreams kiddos."

 _ **Fuck** **.**_

 _Don't say anything, not a word._ That's what she hoped her eyes screamed as she peered from atop the orlesian girl's head and stared at Sera when she laid back down, Uvun's eyes were closed and Grâce didn't even have an ounce of tension as she melted in the embrace. It was then she stayed in tune with her breathing and focused on calming herself down as her breaths slowed, a turmoil brewed within her and her skin _crawled_ as if bugs skittered along her nerves. Her mind was a maze and she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to delve deeper, to find her way out for fear of what she'd bump into along the way.

One thing was certain, and she braced herself to see Cole in her dreams as sleep gradually tugged at her consciousness. One word was responsible for the mess she was now in, and her eyes fluttered shut after she felt a familiar calloused palm reach over to slide along the back of her hand.

Family.

 _T_ _here's no such thing as 'family'. It's a load of bullshit._

* * *

"Cole?" Sylvira stuffed her hands in her pockets and glanced around after she managed to retain control over her dreams, and the woman with the scarf faded away until the desolate Fade itself came into focus. Or at least as much focus as was possible with such blurry vision, and the mage grumbled under her breath as she spun around in search of the pale spirit. "Cole, can you hear me?" _Or does he only come if he senses pain and distress?_ She shoved the grumbling thoughts to the back of her mind at the prospect that her in pain made it seem like she needed help, _I don't_ _ **need**_ _anything._

"I want to know what Uvun dreamed about," she announced then spun again, then relaxed a little when she saw a familiar blurry figure with a large hat walk towards her. "I want to know if she needs any coaching if she has latent magic residing within her." _Better me than her clan._ She inwardly scoffed and there was a sense of smug pride in herself, _if they found out, she'd have been a third_ _mage_ _as wel_ _l_ _and left for the wolves too._

"It wasn't that, not this time." _Not this-_ "You two listened to the same woman singing the same song." _Is he talking about the storyteller, Fisara?_ At this Lavellan's eyes widened and she grit the back of her teeth, though what she had been reluctant to reveal had already passed through her mind. _Uvun_ _ **cannot**_ _know that her and I are part of the same clan._ Cole's next words conjured wildly unpleasant memories from the depths of Sylvira's mind and she nearly panicked right then and there when the images played before her eyes, "Carving," a flash of a needle dragging down swollen and infected flesh. "Cutting," a knife digging into her back, "Bending, the smell of-"

" **Stop** **!** " The memories of torture were too painful to bear and the mage glanced over her shoulder around the Fade as she desperately sought to ground herself here before her mind would be dragged back to hell, and she glared at Cole when he hesitantly stepped forward.

"It's not that, it never was that. Uvun never had to go through that," _through torture? She was never_ _actually_ _physically harmed in Tao's hands?_ "Thanks to you."

"I don't..." Lavellan's eyebrows furrowed in bewilderment, "I don't understand. What were you talking about then?"

"She is proud." _Who, Uvun?_ "He is, too." _Who the hell is he?_ "They're watching, both of you." _I don't get this!_

"Enough of the cryptic poetic shit Cole," the dalish woman's fists clenched tightly as she snapped and demanded vehemently, "Tell me what the hell you're talking about!" Her temper teetered on the edge when the spirit disappeared from her sight and she whirled around, her jaw tensed to the point it hurt when her teeth ground against each other.

"I can't. Only she can." _For fuck's sake...!_ "You should ask her, she likes the memories." _Is he talking about Uvun then?_ "Yes." Sylvira was left by herself with another cryptic whisper and for a moment her consciousness drifted of it's own accord before she snapped into focus, it was too dangerous for her mind to wander where traumatic experiences waited for her to relive once again. _People say it's a benefit mages have control over their dreams, but I'd say it's a double edged sword._

Once again she was left feeling bitter, and she spat at the ground as she grumbled in denial when Cole's last words echoed within her mind over and over again. _If he's referring to what I think he's talking about, he's wrong..._ _At least he_ -an image of the woman with the scarf bounced around her thoughts before she promptly cast it out- _left her_ _alone._

 _ **You like the memories too.**_

* * *

Groaning when light shone bright in her eyes, Sera tries to roll away only to find herself practically pressed against the mattress. She sleepily looked down only to find both of the kids slept on each side of her shoulder, and as she lifted her head she noticed there was an empty space of where a certain someone was _supposed_ to be. _Where's Syl? And how did I even get like this with both of 'em on me? Frig they're kinda heavy..._ "Good morning love," her gaze snapped to the origin of the tired voice and she found the dalish woman, who sat at her desk with a quill in hand, an ink pot nearby and an open journal. _Working again huh?_ "Sleep well?"

"Yeah," the archer cautiously shimmied out until each arm was free, then carefully extracted herself from bed as she slid down the middle between Uvun and Grâce. As she reached the edge of the bed she stretched her arms above her head and stifled a yawn so she wouldn't risk waking the kids, then rose and plopped over to Lavellan as she jerked her chin towards the journal. "You writing why you couldn't or somethin'?"

"Or something," the mage deftly deflected with a strained smile, and Sera made no mention of _the bullshit_ for she knew it'd only lead to denial or an argument. Sylvira dipped the quill in the ink pot then turned over to the next page in her journal and wrote as she explained idly, "I was writing the plan down for the Winter Palace."

"Go in, knock heads, save the Empress. Don't get why you needa write it down if it's that simple and if you ain't gonna take the book with ya Syl." The rogue shrugged when Lavellan glanced up with amusement, and Sera slid her finger along the edge of the desk as she made her way around the corner. She opened a drawer and plucked the glasses from within then held it out, "Won't this make it easier for you if you wear these?" _Plus you look better with 'em on._ "Y'don't look so good luv." _Look real tired. Wasn't Creepy s'posto help you sleep?_

"Is that your way of saying I look good when I wear them?" _Fuck._ Sylvira wore a smug smile but said nothing else as she accepted the glasses with nearly no reluctance, and the archer's gaze flickered left and right as she studied the way they rested on her lover's face. "But you're right that I'm not taking this with me, it's more like a... A way to record of what's happened I suppose. One day they'll write history books about all of this, perhaps my entries may dictate a little bit of what's written."

"What's the point of that?"

"In case if there's ever another leader who faces the same crisis," _I don't buy it, is that really why you write it all down? You don't give a shite 'bout that kinda stuff and don't like people pokin' through yer books._ Lavellan blew at the page to dry the ink faster after she'd jotted down a few notes, then carefully closed the journal and locked the clasp. She dumped the book back in the same drawer then pushed it shut, and slowly shuffled the chair back as she relaxed her posture. "Or at least, that's the reason I should do it for. It's just an idle hobby I've developed, to record, go back and read from time to time when I feel like it."

"Weird hobby," she teased fondly, "But that ain't a surprise with a weirdo like you." Sera's palm connected with an arm rest as she bent at the hips to reach Lavellan's lips for a kiss, she held her breath for as long as she did but the taste still teased the tip of her tongue and she couldn't help but snicker when the dalish woman parted with a skeptical look. "What can I say? Morning breath."

"I love you too," Sylvira murmured with a sigh of resignation in her voice and the rogue watched with concerned eyes, _she's down, she's hardly ever down even if she's tired or pissed off._ "In any case," the mage pushed the glasses up her nose then scooted forward in her chair before she stood slowly, and Sera took care not to shoot out with her hands to help stabilize when Lavellan stumbled for the briefest of moments before she regained her balance. "You do the same thing, write stuff in a journal. Well more like a to do list though."

"You read through it?" _Not surprised if it's just laying 'round, plus I've went through her stuff._

"Didn't I tell you?" _Oh yeah... Think she did..._ Sylvira had a small smile before she stepped closer and leaned down for a kiss on Sera's cheek, then moved past to whisper in the archer's ear, "I liked the part about the cookies the most. We can try baking with the kiddos after Halamshiral is done, how does that sound? I'll help out for sure and make up for my fuck up from last time. And this time too."

It nearly took what little self-control Sera had so as not to pounce on her lover right then and there, and even she herself was slightly confused as to why she was so damn excited over such a simple idea. Instead she nodded fervently and her nerves _hummed_ at the sound of soft musical chuckles in her ear. "Before I forget though, that might have to wait an extra week or two when we come back. I've a surprise lined up for you that I think you'll love." _Uh oh._ Warning bells went off and Sera leaned back to give the mage a skeptical look, but Lavellan only shrugged, "Even if you tortured me I wouldn't spill the secret." _Fuck, I got_ _ **nothing**_ _on her and she really would be tight-lipped 'bout it._ "You'll just have to wait and see, cookie."

"Can't I get a hint?"

"We are going out." _Frigging smart ass, always has to do this._

"Noo~ really?" Sera drawled sarcastically, "I mean like an actual hint."

"We'll be going out somewhere sunny and romantic." _Arse._ Sylvira chuckled again when the archer playfully shoved the dalish woman's shoulder, _least I don't gotta worry 'bout her being down now that she's joking 'round._ "C'mon, let's wake up the runts and grab some grub then get the stupid meeting done and over with. Today's the last day to get everything done and prepared before we leave for the trip tomorrow," _ugh... Carriages suck._ A flicker of hesitance flashed by the mage's eyes and Sera stared up with confusion when Lavellan had actually uncomfortably shuffled in her spot then averted her gaze, _huh?_

"Whas'wrong Syl?"

"Uh..." Sylvira sucked in a breath and raked a hand through her ample bangs then pushed them back, she let out a small sigh and stole a glance before her eyes darted away again as she mumbled, "Well... The tailor should have our uniforms ready today so I was thinking... Well I mean I'll need- **want** ," the stumbling and tension had been enough for Sera to figure out what her lover wanted to ask, _but she needs to practice saying it or she'll never get comfy. She knows by now I don't give a shit._ "If you're around with me..." Another sigh through clenched teeth and Lavellan's eyes closed for a moment as she recollected her composure, then tried again and looked straight at the archer, "I'll need your help putting on the uniform."

"Sure, s'not a problem luv." The rogue reached up and slid her palm along Sylvira's cheek to force the woman to look at her when the citron orbs darted away again, and she gave a reassuring smile as she added tenderly, "I'll always be 'round, yeah? It's no big deal Syl." She reacted almost instantly, her neck craned up and she rose on her toes when she saw the mage lean the slightest bit lower for what she now somehow _instinctively_ knew it to be a kiss. As soon as their mouths connected with each other, Lavellan smiled as she whispered affectionately and it filled Sera with nothing but warmth and pride. _Damn straight._

"No one else in this world knows me like you do."

* * *

 _What is she doing?_ Sera rested her chin on her palm and watched with amusement as her girlfriend idly snapped her fingers with one hand as she twirled with the soup spoon in the other. Sylvira would tease Uvun and Grâce by _flying_ with the soup spoon and try to steal from their portions, to which the kids giggled devilishly and fought her off valiantly. _She's never played with 'em before._ It was a complete 180 turn from what the mage was like in the morning to now, and now Sera was left wondering if Lavellan was in a bad or good mood.

 _None of it smells like bullshit, so she's not faking it. Well..._ The exaggerated silly faces were the norm around the children, and other curious onlookers glanced frequently as nobles gossiped among themselves. The glasses stayed and the bandaged hand was in clear view what with the snapping fingers that drew attention to it, but it didn't seem like Lavellan cared of the whispers that circulated around, _or maybe she just don't hear it?_ The archer made it a point to glare at nobles who tried to twist the entire scene as some sort of personal gain for the Inquisitor, _how the fuck's she gain from playing with runts? Other than stealing their soup I guess._

Lips pulling in a smile she leans a bit to the side and playfully bumps shoulders with her lover, then mumbled under her breath, "Yer such a sappy loser..." A charming grin was her response and her heart swelled with warmth when Uvun and Grâce really immersed themselves as they tried to set up a _barricade_ around their bowls, though the warm _gooey_ feelings were easily blown away when she glanced down at her own portion. "Hey!" Her head snapped to Lavellan who just stuffed the spoon in her mouth, citron orbs widened with a stunned look that closely resembled that of a halla petrified in fear and stuck in an arrow's path, "Don't steal my soup too!"

"Everything around me is fair play love, don't you know the rules of the soup-stealing game?" _Oh it's_ _ **so**_ _on!_

"Rules?! There ain't no damn rules and that's not even a game!" Sera dearly wanted to smack the grin off the mage's face and picked up her spoon as she deftly deflected Sylvira's every attempt, and others at the breakfast table either chuckled or groaned at the silly display. The snapping fingers served only as fuel for the rogue's temper and she was increasingly flustered each time she failed to stop Lavellan from stealing her portion, but she was _sure_ the mage was cheating when she felt an invisible pressure against her wrists to keep her hands away. "Using yer frigging magic, what 'bout 'rules' for that huh?"

"Wow you really don't know the rules at all~ do you?" _This arse is pushin' it now!_ "Rule #134 clearly states that magic is permitted." Sera's expression fell flat and her razor sharp slits shone bright as she glared warningly, and Sylvira's lips pursed in a sorry attempt not to smile. The mage leaned over and gave a chaste kiss to her freckled cheekbone, bees buzzed in her belly when Lavellan whispered tenderly, "I love it when you get flustered." Instead of retorting or falling for the trap in which the dalish woman somehow expected for Sera to kiss her back, _she's crazy she is_ , she swiped Sylvira's soup bowl and reveled in the look of surprise when she threw her head back and downed nearly all of it as fast as she could.

 _ **HOT!**_

It was clearly a mistake, and one that would follow her everywhere to remind her the consequences of her pride rising to _dangerous_ challenges. Her eyes squeezed shut in an attempt not to let the tears out and the bowl slammed down on the table, the children giggled and the other companions situated at the breakfast table either full out laughed at her demise or groaned with disgust at _unladylike_ behavior. She didn't dare open her eyes to see the look of amusement on Lavellan's face now, but then it was her turn to be surprised when she felt a soft napkin wipe across her chin and a tender whisper in her ear. "Why'd you drink it all idiot?" _Oi, that's you!_ "Didn't you know it'd burn you?" The concern in the mage's voice was unmistakable and a mug was pushed in Sera's hands, "Here drink this cold water and hold it in your mouth to soothe the burn."

 _I don't get this._ The archer didn't dare waste the gracious opportunity and accepted the mug without any qualms, she opened her eyes as she tilted her head back to drink and watched Sylvira from the corner of her eyes. _Why's she so... Nice? It's not like Syl to be worried 'specially over something small like this. She'd have laughed with the others instead._ She shrugged it off and held the cold water in her mouth as advised, but she was wildly confused as soon as she felt a hand slide over her knee under the table and give a gentle squeeze. A quick check indeed confirmed that it was Lavellan's hand and not someone else, _I don't get this!_ It was certainly a nice change, but that was part of the problem.

 **Change.**

"Are you feeling better?" The mage inquired quietly enough so that only Sera could hear, what with the morning crew practically being the ones solely responsible for all the loud noise in the keep hall. _There's no way, somethin' had to have happened. Maybe she had a shite dream 'bout me, scared her?_ She swallowed the water then nodded, and the look of relief on her lover's face proved that there was no false honesty, no tricks, _no bullshit._

"Syl what's going on?" The archer's eyebrows furrowed and her own slid over the one on her knee when she noted the confusion splay across the citron orbs, "Yer not usually... Like this."

"'Like this'? You'll need to elaborate for me _darling_." The playful lilt of the dreaded word proved that there wasn't **too** much change, but the term still had a sort of soft affection laced to it.

"Like that!" Sera glanced around when a few raised eyebrows were shot their way, and she merely stuck out her tongue and waited until the eyes were off them. She scooted her chair closer then leaned to the side as she whispered in the dalish woman's ear, "All like... Nice and lovey dovey." She swiftly added when she noticed the way Sylvira's expression contort before it was forcefully composed, "It's just-it's not usually us, yeah? S'just weird when yer suddenly all..."

"Nice?"

"Yeah." And she blew away her chance at redemption when the citron orbs glazed, but not in a way she preferred. Anger simmered beneath and she kicked herself when the empty look kicked in moments later, her heart faltered when Lavellan adjusted her chair a bit farther away and went back to her soup.

"I see." The monotone voice was right up there on the top list of things Sera absolutely **loathed** , and she hated the fact that it was once again because of her that her lover's eyes and voice hollowed out. _Like nothing matters. Like it is nothing._ "My apologies, I was unaware my being more pleasant than usual would be a terribly confusing and shocking matter. I assure you, I actually did not have any ulterior motives for once. Surprise, surprise yes?" _Ugh for fuck's sake..._

"That isn't what I meant Syl-" a wave of the spoon cut her off and her heart sank further when Sylvira shuffled the chair back and rose from the table, the mage readjusted her scarf and looked down the table to address the other companions.

"I'm postponing the meeting for another half an hour. Someone be _nice_ and please inform the Ambassador and Spymaster over the change of plans." _Great..._ "If there's an emergency in which I'm needed immediately, I'll be downstairs in the library inspecting the renovations." Lavellan strode down the aisle without another word and left the others completely bewildered, particularly the children who had blatant disappointed looks that playtime was over. They went back to eating without any excitement and Sera simply couldn't take it anymore, the decision came easily and she abandoned her food to go after the dalish woman once again.

 _Hope she won't explode on me like last time._ And then she froze in her tracks when the realization of Sylvira's change in behavior struck her, she cursed herself inwardly over and over again. _Fuck, she was doin' all that to make up for the shite before wasn't she?_ _And I had to blow it all up._ Granted, it wasn't like neither of the two knew they could be jerks, but as Sera made way for the lower level she kicked herself at how it must have all sounded. _If she said it to me, I'da thought she only thinks I'm a straight up arsehole and nothing else._ Her eyebrows furrowed when bitter words replayed in her mind and she raked her hand through her hair as she sighed in frustration. _Shit..._

 _ **You also said that yourself, remember? That you trust me to be a heartless prick, that I'm the worst of them all and I'm not even noble.**_

It was an eye opener when Lavellan spat those words back out at the archer, ones that she'd have never remembered otherwise and yet were regurgitated perfectly when it jogged her memory of that fateful day when they put an end to the slave operations. _Syl did, anyways._ She stopped outside the library door and her hand faltered before it touched the door handle, she had absolutely **no** idea what to say and she still had a hard time wrapping her mind around the fact that her words had actually _hurt_ someone like Sylvira. _They never mattered to her before either, she never cared 'bout whoever said whatever._ She cringed at the muffled noises behind the library door, it sounded as though pages fluttered before books crashed on the ground.

 _She's taking out her anger here, why?_ She guessed it was probably easier to climb down stairs rather than up them, and now her hand quivered over the handle as intense guilt welled up in her. _She's hurting and I'm hurting her more. She's just gonna push me away like she always does, if I go in now._ If she were completely honest, she was downright scared that Lavellan would chew her out just like in the tower, for even though words never mattered to her either they still cut deep and _burned_ her. It was something she was positive she never wanted to go through ever again and yet here she was, scared of it all crumbling down once more.

 _I didn't fuckin' mean to, she ought to know that. She's just being nitpicky over words when she knows I ain't good with 'em, like her._ She attempted to offload the blame but the guilt never lessened one bit, when she heard another series of books crash behind the door she easily made up her mind. However just as she was about to push the handle down the door swung wide open and she was face to face with Sylvira, and the citron orbs bore into her as if all was laid bare. She braced herself for the callous term, to be referred to as _Red Jenny_ and **nothing** more, and the apology promptly died in her throat. She yelped when a hand grasped her wrist and roughly tugged her inside, warning bells rang in her head when the library door was slammed shut seconds later.

"Tell me the truth," there was a hint of desperate plea in the mage's voice, "Do you genuinely think I'm a coldhearted bitch?" _No._ Sera turned around and wished she hadn't when she looked at Lavellan, and a lump effectively cut off her voice. Her thoughts screamed and yet her mouth merely hung open, her jaw slackened like last time. _Say no!_ "Have I never given you cause to think otherwise, have I never proved I care?" _I know you do._ Lavellan stepped forward and her expression tore the rogue apart, the way the citron orbs flickered between frustration and helplessness, pain and emptiness, only served as fuel to the thoughts that compelled Sera to move or say something, anything. The dalish woman rose her hands and they swung down dejectedly as she gave a strained humorless laugh, "Seriously, I can't even convince the one closest to me that I have a heart and conscience too. Now even I'm starting to doubt if I really have one."

"You do," the archer croaked out pathetically, hardly a convincing argument. She wasn't sure what to say and so relied on what her own heart cried out for as she cautiously stepped forward, " _Please,_ Syl not this again. I'm sorry, okay? I wasn't thinking, don't blow up again." Another step forward, and for a brief moment she saw something flicker across her lover's expression but wasn't quite sure what to make of it. "Please... It hurts to see you like this." _To know it's coz of me that you're like this._ She didn't know what to do when Lavellan merely stared at her silently, the awkward tension choked the oxygen out of the dusty atmosphere and seconds felt like an eternity. The rogue took a quick moment to glance behind her and all she saw were books that haphazardly cluttered the ground, and she looked back only to see an analytical expression, as if Sylvira was weighing her words.

"But you don't think I'm just a heartless ass, right?" _I still don't get this, she never cared before. Why's she care so much 'bout what I think?_ The answer came to her easily thanks to that, and Sera carefully plopped closer until she wrapped her arms around the mage's waist.

"That proves to me thatcha care, that you aren't just an arse, luv. Arseholes don't worry 'bout if they're arseholes or not." She nearly melted when she felt arms slide around her shoulders to draw her in for a closer embrace, and Lavellan's relieved sigh set her at ease.

"Sorry." A kiss to the top of the archer's hair, and she glanced up only to see Sylvira smile meekly at her, "Don't know why I was even so sensitive over some BS like that." _You don't know? I don't buy it. If I know then she's gotta know, right?_ Still, it was the perfect opportunity to blow away the rest of the tension with a _crummy_ joke, one she certainly wasn't going to waste.

"Maybe Aunt Flo's comin' to visit you soon?"

"Creators I hope not," another humorless chuckle and the tall woman squeezed Sera's shoulders in the embrace, "I've got enough things stressing me the fuck out," _what sorts of things?_ "And I don't need my period to be one of them." _Nobody does, 'specially when y'get real cranky and don't wanna do anything at all._ Tension gradually came back but it festered in the body pressed to the archer, and for a moment she briefly wondered if her joke wasn't actually going to be a joke after all. _Relaxing s'what I do best, I can do that for her no problem._

"After the meeting's done, let's do somethin' you'll have fun with then Syl. Maybe Wicked Grace in yer room, just us two?"

"I can't," Sylvira sighed in resignation, "It's the last day before we get on the carriage and head to the ball tomorrow. I'm sure there will be all sorts of matters my advisers have saved up for me, so prepare for an extra long meeting," _greeeeaaat..._ "I should get some things done today as well and-"

"You oughta relax s'what you should do." _Yer still hurting, you needa rest._

"We'll see after the meeting's over," the dalish woman leaned back and ran one hand through her bangs, only for them to fall back into place and frame her face. When a few locks strayed from the side and dangled in the middle, Sera couldn't help but smile and plucked the glasses from Lavellan's face. She relished the puzzled look and the way the eyebrow raised, the citron orbs darted around to analyze and figure out what it was the archer was doing. _Easier to just ask. Always has to figure things out on her own first._ "I'm going to take a guess and say the glasses were in the way of seeing something? My eyes?"

"Ooh~ very close, you're real good at this luv." Sera mirrored the proud grin, she had to be **extremely** careful with _compliment overload_ in case if her lover's ego would go so high it'd be almost impossible to bring her back to the ground. "Yer face looks different with your bangs right now," she caught Sylvira's wrist before she accidentally ruined the way the locks sat right now, then glanced around the library to see if a mirror was around by some miracle. "You won't believe me if I say what it looks like though, gotta see it for yourself."

"Try me." The tender tone surprised even her and their eyes locked once more, the citron orbs almost _glowed_ but softened at the same time and confused Sera. _That makes no sense._ There was an undeniable sense of happiness in them, and the rogue relaxed knowing that Lavellan seemed to have fully calmed down and forgotten about their earlier spat. _Getting better at dealing with this shite when we step on toes too._

"Plus it's sappier than the stuff you usually say-"

"Stuff and not shite or rubbish, hm?" That caught Sera off guard and her mouth slackened, her lips parted then sealed and the denial in pride promptly died in her throat. She nodded slightly and watched as the citron orbs brightened a touch more, but there was no trace of smug arrogance in sight. Sylvira leaned down and brushed their lips together as she whispered, "Like I said... Try me. You've got me curious, I **have** to know now."

Only utterances left the rogue and she hummed in frustration, it hadn't helped when the two exchanged feather-light kisses every now and then. After some time she finally blurted the words out and felt proud she'd been able to say them, "Heart-shaped face." When the mage parted with surprise and stared with amusement, Sera cracked and muttered, "Fuck, sounds so bloody stupid out loud."

"No it doesn't." Silence passed by for a few seconds and the archer refused to look up until Lavellan inquired gently, "Do you like it?" Treading on this territory _felt_ unknown to Sera, as if corny words weren't the only obstacle to overcome. Just as she was about to nod the dalish woman added honestly, "The strands in the middle are kind of annoying me though, and I'd reckon this look would suit someone who's actually sweet unlike m-"

"You are." _Shit_ _._ And now the rogue had actually squirmed uncomfortably in Sylvira's arms, her mind had been screaming at her as to what she was saying and she clutched the glasses in her hand a little tighter for some semblance of familiarity. She reluctantly explained when the mage had a skeptical expression yet the citron orbs danced with amusement, as if there was _delight_ to be had in the discomfort Sera felt. "In yer own way, you are. And now yer-" Lavellan grinned proudly and the archer rolled her eyes, "Being an arse. Y'know I ain't good with this kinda shite like you are."

"And I'm proud of you for trying," the dalish woman leaned down and gave a chaste _cheesy_ kiss to Sera's nose as she whispered fondly, "And succeeding." _What,_ _really_ _?_ _That easy?_ "Though I still think you're the sweeter one of us two, cookie." _Yeah right._ Sylvira leaned back a little and rose her hand to her bangs, "I'll try again another time, but can I fix it for now? It really is bugging me," _why's she asking for permission?_ Sera shrugged then nodded and the mage raked her hand through again, then pushed the strands more to the side. The archer slid the glasses back on and Lavellan remained silent, observant, but there was still that unmistakable sense of happiness in her eyes.

 _All this just coz of a few sappy words?_ _Didn't think it'd be her thing._ _H_ _uh..._

"C'mon, we're more than likely late for the meeting again," Sylvira held out her hand as she turned to face the exit of the library, and the rogue immediately intertwined their fingers. It felt _natural_ like this, and her heart felt lighter when she felt her hand squeezed gently. Their shoulders bumped and Sera looked up when the dalish woman squeezed her hand again as she murmured, "You don't have to keep hiding the way who you really are, to me."

 _Huh?_ "If yer really sayin' I'm all sweet and mushy there's somethin' up with yer head Syl, I don't believe a word of that rubbish." Lavellan chuckled nervously as she opened the door and held it open for the archer, then tugged on her scarf after they left the library. "That's just not me, yeah? Couldn't be me." And then her heart skipped a beat, for once she had truly felt _nervous_ over something when Sylvira bent sideways to kiss the top of her head as they walked.

"You'll change your mind after you dance with me on the palace floor." _Me on their precious tiles, in front of all the nobs?_ _Even I know y'don't do fancy dancing, just that weird stuff with the runts._ The calm confidence was a refreshing change, one in which the mage seemed determined to see through and make it happen rather than some hollow arrogant bluff. "I trust you with **all** of me..." Sera's belly buzzed pleasantly and her heart fluttered when Lavellan smiled softly at her as she whispered the rest, and the citron orbs _glowed_ once again before the two tackled the stairs. The murmur echoed within the archer's mind over and over again with each step, she felt a little stuffy and the tips of her ears burned as she helped Sylvira climb the grueling staircase.

 _ **A King only bows down to the Queen.**_

 _Fucking honey tongue... What are you tryna do to me?_

* * *

Blueprints unrolled on the war table, everybody gathered around and Lavellan reached over to squeeze the archer's hand before tugging Sera closer. It was an unspoken declaration, one in which she still felt giddy about her own resolve when the rogue confessed the _corny_ words in the library. In a way Sera opened up and bared her heart on her sleeve, a moment of vulnerability that Sylvira wouldn't dare ever trample on no matter how _cheesy_ it was, even for her. _Back to the task at hand, though. There will be plenty of time_ _for this later._ "I want Dorian and Bull nearby wherever I go, and Sera by my side at all times." It hadn't come to a surprise to anyone, but the rogue squirming beside Lavellan had. _What's with her, does she need to go to the bathroom or something?_

"With all due respect Inquisitor," _here we go._ Josephine smiled meekly and explained as politely as possible, "A lot of nobles will want to talk to you alone and-"

"Not interested." Sylvira shrugged at the blunt honesty then tapped at the head of the ball room where the Empress would presumably be to greet _prestigious_ guests of the court, "I'm there to save Celene." Sensing the Ambassador was going to make a logical debate of some sort that even she couldn't say no to, she glanced at the woman by her side then asked, "Would you be able to hide and watch over me in the shadows?" It was behavior that took some aback, _I'd have made it an order, command her to. She deserves better than that, it would be unbecoming of a King not to treat the Queen properly after all._

"Uh, yeah sure." Sera shrugged, "Figured that's what I was gonna do anyways, don't really wanna be there if nobs are gonna be up in yer face Syl."

"Fair enough." Lavellan tapped at key areas as she announced, "I want someone here at each of these spots to relay any information that may help uncover the assassin's identity. I'll check in with each of you," she looked up and glanced at each companion, "I've read the dossiers, we'll need to be extra vigilant and observe anyone whomever Celene is closest to, even servants." _Slaves._ "This is an inside job, the assassin isn't just going to show up in Venatori robes and scream he's about to kill the Empress. Any questions?"

"I got one," Varric rose his hand with a cheeky grin, "Can I bring copies of my books to sell?" Cassandra groaned and buried her face in her palm as a couple others chuckled, and the dwarf merely faked innocence, "What? Good publicity."

"Makes sense, go for it as long as it doesn't detract from the main purpose. See if you can squeeze any juicy gossip from whoever you're selling the books to," Sylvira glanced over at Cole when he rose his hand, and it was then an idea hit her. "If I were to bring you-"

"It'd be too loud," the spirit interjected, already having sensed her thoughts. _Damn, figured it'd be the easiest way to see if he could just sense murderous thoughts-_ "Everybody has them, though." _Good point._ "Where can I hide?" The one-sided conversation left others confused and the mage could _feel_ the tension in Sera's body, she had to dismantle this situation before it got out of hand. _Especially when we're on a roll._ She scanned the blueprints and eliminated any areas that would have suggested she'd have first-hand knowledge that they'd be quiet and isolated, and was forever grateful when Leliana stepped forward to point to the library on the map.

"Usually areas like these are locked to prevent any guests from wandering where they shouldn't. Perhaps Cole may find the seclusion he seeks in the library?"

"Yes," the spirit nodded fervently and Lavellan melted in relief when neither of the two had stumbled and damned her with hints of her past. "There will be a lot of stories there too, I like stories."

"Like mine, right Kid?" Varric grinned smugly when Cole nodded again and Cassandra rolled her eyes, others had strained smiles at the odd scene. _It seems like I'm not the only one trying to figure him out._

"There's nothing to figure out when you already have," _huh?_ It surprised her to hear happiness in the spirit's voice, and once again everything she thought she knew was continuously being challenged. "You call me him." _And he's not just a 'spirit' as Solas would be quick to have us believe. Guess he's not coming to the Palace either.  
_

"Right," Sylvira sucked in a breath when she felt a harsh pinch to her thigh from Sera, then quickly derailed the topic as she checked the maps again. She glanced at Vivienne but didn't dare address her at this point for fear of infuriating her lover, and made a mental note to privately ask the Enchanter if she could use her connections in the Imperial court to get them closer. However the glance was all that needed, a silent understanding passed between them as the orlesian mage nodded wordlessly. "Well, anything else or can we conclude this meeting?"

"If I may," Josephine tapped at her board and looked around the table at the other companions, though a certain elf was missing from the group and no one dared to inquire about his disappearance. "I wanted to inform you all that the tailor has already dropped off the uniforms in my office, please pick them up and try them on and early as you can to see if any last minute adjustments are needed."

"Let's do that now and get it done and over with then. That's all for the meeting, everyone is dismissed." Lavellan nearly winced at that suggestion when the brief thought flashed by her mind, there was going to be a lot of pain involved to cram herself in a stuffy suit. _But if I have Sera by my side,_ _it'll be alright._ It hadn't bothered her as much as she thought it would, depending on her lover this much. It was a gradual climb and her pride still stubbornly grumbled at the back of her mind, but she silenced the voice and merely reminded herself of her new resolve. As the bodies filtered out of the war room and left them alone, her hand tangled with Sera's and she leaned down for a sweet kiss on the freckled cheekbone.

"Yer sucha sappy loser," the archer mumbled and squeezed her hand, Sylvira merely grinned as the two made way around the war table and out the room after she planted another kiss to the top of Sera's unkempt hair.

"Always and only for you, love. You're the only one who will ever know who I really am."


	30. One Day You'll Be Mine

**Hope you enjoy, cheers mates!**

 **Publish Date:** 08-09-2016

 **AN:** Finally. _Finally._ I'm so god damned proud I've finally been able to trek out at least _one_ chapter. I really wanted to try and update the stories on the same days they were published as a little anniversary, alas it didn't work out. But! At least the writer's block doesn't seem as daunting and the story is gradually coming together a little bit more easily. My deepest apologies for such a long wait, but I'm _finally_ slowly getting my act together once again. I'm plugging in lines for Terra every now and then so she _might_ be the next update, but so far Kallian _(String of Fate)_ and Éclair _(Chasing Storms)_ as well as Sylvira have been swimming around my mind for ideas more often, so we'll see. I won't torture you with excuses and long ramblings, so here's a brief recap before we get on with the story!

 **Recap:** There was an attempted assassination made on Sylvira's life though the coup d'état failed, but she hasn't made it out unscathed and is still slowly recovering from her injury, as well as possible lingering effects of the toxins in her systems as a result of the poisoned blade she had been stabbed with (lower right abdomen). There is only one day left until the group begins their journey to Halamshiral and during the latest meeting, Josephine has asked everyone to try on the uniforms to see if the tailor needs to make any adjustments. This is what Sylvira and Sera are doing in the beginning of this chapter. The rest of the [minor] details such as Syl's old plans or what's happened between her and Sera may take a bit of digging into your memory, but so far these are the most important points relating to the plot of the story. Let's get on with it shall we :)? Cheers mates!

 **Elvhen Vocabulary**

 _Dhav:_ Kiss (short form of _dhava_ )

* * *

 **One Day You'll Be Mine**

* * *

"Fucking hell," Sylvira hissed as she sat at the edge of the bed, she's had to contend with the new uniform for who knows how long now. _Feels like I've been running all day._ "It takes me five shitting minutes just to put pants on," she grumbled, "I would've gotten rid of two dumps by now." She's unashamed of her vulgarity, but her eyebrows furrowed with frustration and her stubborn pride lashed out when she felt sweat trickle down the sides of her forehead. "And that's _with_ help..." _I'm glad I decided to tell the tailor to wait outside my chambers at the very least._ _What do I tell them for waiting so long?_

"It's alright yeah?" _How the fuck is_ _ **any**_ _of_ _this alright?_ "Yer hurting lots, nothing you can do 'bout it 'til it's all better." _That's the part that sucks the most, it's out of my control._ "Put yer hand on my shoulder and I'll get your other leg in before ya stand." A frustrated sigh left the dalish woman and she nodded dejectedly, at the very least only Sera was the one that witnessed her _shame_ and _weakness._ "You'd do the same for me, wouldn'tcha Syl?"

"Of course I would, you already know that by now. Why do you keep asking that question?"

"Just pointing summin out, is all. It's okay to lean on me, for us to help each other out." _It's not okay if I'm always leaning on you, always burdening you with_ _ **something**_ _that's never any of your responsibility nor concern_ _._ "That's what we're here for, yeah?"

"I'd rather you be here for something else other than being my foot stool," Lavellan muttered, her head threw back and she inhaled sharply when her leg had to be lifted a little higher to thread the pant leg through. " _Fuck,_ " she hissed softly, "I have a new found respect for our soldiers now. They deal with way~ worse shit than this."

"Yeah, but they got healers." The archer carefully set her leg back down on the ground, and Sylvira struggled to lift her other leg by herself in a gesture of _some_ independence. _My stomach fucking hurts no matter what I do._ It irritated her that she couldn't bend forward to thread the pants through even on her good leg, for it'd still instigate pain and she was advised not to bend too far forward for it may re-injure her fragile scar tissue. _Can't go too far back too fast so that it doesn't stretch the tissue too much. Bullshit, fucking **bullshit**._ "And you can't have no magic, why is that anyways Syl? Don't make sense if yer a mage, yeah?"

"That's..." The mage frowned and her pride demanded she remain silent or grope for excuses to deflect the topic, but she knows for a fact that Sera will _smell the bullshit_ and call on it. _I can trust her._ "That's a good question. To be honest I haven't figured it out myself," _I know it's a result of Erasthenes' experiments, but she'll flip her shit if I tell her that._ "All I know is that it just reacts negatively to me, as if it were templar anti-magic or something." _A problem considering the blade was poisoned, and I doubt all the toxins have been flushed out of me yet._ _D_ _o we even know what sort of poison was used and how it_ _affects_ _me?_ _Maybe that's why I still shake like I'm hungover._ She brought up her quivering left hand and inspected the bandaged palm for a brief moment, "The brand alone is an issue, but I think it's interfering with something else on top of that, which is why I get the attacks as often as I do now."

 _Perhaps too much residual energy cluttering and disturbing something? The enchantment's nullifying something after all._ "Like the blue flashy shite?" Sera signaled for the dalish woman to rise and carefully rolled the dark brown slacks up, Sylvira gently pushed the hands away so that she could at least button up the pants herself. _I get she wants to help, but I'm not completely crippled._

"Yeah. What I don't know is _what_ it's interfering with-" she abruptly cuts off and bites her tongue before she casually confesses of the runes engraved in her. _I can't keep those a secret forever, but Sera will ask why I've got them..._ And that's something she just doesn't want to burden the archer with, nor is she comfortable with revealing that much of her past. _The more I tell her, then in her eyes I'll become less 'Syl' and more 'pity-slave'._ "I guess it doesn't _agree_ with whatever magic the anchor is."

"Y'think it's magic? Not Andraste's mark?"

"I do," the mage nodded and cautiously twisted her torso to retrieve the jacket, she'll contend with the leather greaves after. She started at her neck as she threaded the buttons through, then shrugged her shoulders in small circles to ensure she had adequate room for reasonable movement. "We're dealing with magic after all: fighting demons, spirits crossing the veil, sealing rifts, so on and so forth. I find it amusing that people are quick to believe the mark is from the Maker with all this magic shit we're dealing with, when the Chantry constantly shunned magic. Now they're embracing it -this-" she held up her left hand, "And claiming that it's holy? Don't make me laugh."

"But _what if_ it is from the Maker, what if you were saved by Andraste?" _Huh?_ Sylvira had to bite her tongue to stop herself from chuckling, she had forgotten for a moment that Sera -though has not outright admitted as such- has proved she's an Andrastian. _She's a believer,_ _a rather unorthodox one but still a believer nonetheless_ _._ "I mean, you dunno how it works, yeah? And yer smart so you'd know, but if you don't then nobody does." The compliment does wonders to her ego, but for once she's actually conflicted in _proving_ to Sera that the anchor is **magic** and not the 'Maker'. She opted to remain quiet after a brief nod, then started to ravel the silk sash around her waist.

"Aye, you have a point. I suppose only time will tell, perhaps the answer may come seek us instead someday. There are more important matters to worry about right now, though." She wove the sash over her shoulder and turned as Sera took the fabric behind, she felt oddly giddy about being _dressed_ like this now. It hadn't stopped at the sash either, and she merely watched as the rogue worked the thin leather belt on her next. It fit nice and snug, she half-expected Sera would tug on it extremely tight just to mess with her but no such thing happened.

 _I didn't think she'd be that worried about my wound..._ It made her heart swell with warmth, and her lips curled in a serene smile as her eyes softened. The archer stole a glance up at her, and her eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she smirked back, "Whatcha smilin' for Syl?" Sera made some adjustments to the sash then handed over the gloves to the dalish woman, and she slid on Lavellan's glasses soon after. _She always puts my glasses on whenever she gets the chance, does she really like them on me that much?_

"Dunno, really. But I kinda like being dressed up by you now," the mage tossed the gloves back on the bed in favor of feeling Sera, her hands slid along the rogue's cheeks and she craned her neck as she bent for a kiss. Wasps burrowed in her gut and she grit the back of her teeth, she tried to ignore it and cursed herself for failing when her act was seen through immediately, if the small hands that pushed her away were any indication.

"Reckon you'd rather _undress_ us instead," the archer teased with a devilish smirk, then gently shoved the dalish woman until she fell on the mattress. _Fuck..._ Her jaw clenched painfully and she forcefully composed her features so as not to reveal anything, _even that hurts too much to shut off and ignore._ "And be smilin' in bed."

"Only the bed?" Sylvira patted the blanket and her eyebrow cocked up in interest when the rogue carefully climbed over her, _well now, once again she's proving to be the one with all the best ideas._ "Plenty of places we can be smiling, I'm sure we'll have a nice little sight seeing tour of the palace and it's gardens."

" _Pfft_ and what, frig on their precious tiles? No way."

"In front of _everyone?_ Even I hadn't considered this. I didn't know you thought of things like that with me. Looks like I'm not the only one with the 'weird arse fantasies' hm?" _A secret I don't mind dying over,_ her lips pulled in a mischievous smile, resembling that of a cat. "Me~ow~ naughty little mabari." There's a silent promise of _death_ in Sera's eyes now as she glared with a deadpan expression, and the mage chuckled as her hands smoothed down from the waist to rest on the supple hips. _I'll never get enough of her._

"Keep it up jester, keep going," the archer warned dangerously low, and she gradually slid out to rest on her elbows that cradled Lavellan's head. " _I dare you,_ " she whispered softly, and the glint in her razor sharp slits sharpened considerably when Sylvira all too eagerly grinned back her unspoken challenge. Her uniform made her feel stuffy as her temperature slowly rose, her blood boiled and she rubbed circles around the jutting hip bones. There was something captivating in the way this woman moved and hovered above her, _let's be honest. It's not a mystery, who_ _ **wouldn't**_ _want a pretty woman over them?_

"You make a woman think and feel dangerous things, Dhav."

"Dove?"

"Mm," _I'll roll with it, since it slipped without thinking. Don't want to ruin the mood and anger her now._ She relished in the rogue's smile that seemed to scream _for one, she thinks I'm a loser. Second, she thinks I'm a cheesy loser. Thirdly... The biggest loser in the world._ She chuckled softly when Sera said nothing and crashed their mouths together in a hungry kiss, _Dhav, hm? Fitting. Dove, too._ When she felt a hand hook on the collar of her jacket, she angled her chin away to break the _connection_ and murmured, "We need to let the tailor see that the uniform's fine. Otherwise all that time and energy wrestling in this thing will be for naught." She doesn't need to _sense_ disappointment when it's so plainly easy to see on the rogue's face and hastily adds, "We'll strip after, I promise." _Do I seriously need to promise such a thing? It's inevitable after all._ "You should put yours on too and get it done and over with."

"Who cares how it fits?"

"If we're forced to fight-" _more like when you look for one,_ "Then it's important that nothing will hinder you when we do." _And there'll be plenty_ _chances_ _with all_ _those_ _nobles stuck in one spot._ _I've a mind to pick a few myself, if I can find and identify the ones I want anyways._

"Oh, good point. Should I go grab my bow, then?"

"Sure, by the time you come back hopefully the tailor will be nearly done their job and-"

" **No way**." _Huh?_ "I ain't leaving you to be alone with some random arsehole nobody knows," the archer shoots up and stares sternly, "Forget it. I'm not leaving now, I'll just pretend I'm pullin' the string or something." Lavellan blinked once, twice, she's actually at a loss of words right now. _What the_ _ **fuck**_ _did I do to deserve her, seriously? All I ever did was annoy her and piss her off, what about me tricks her to stay? I can't imagine I have anything compelling to offer her._ It took a bit of maneuvering her cotton tongue, the words dragged out and felt labored until her mind kicked back into action.

"You sure you don't want it?" _I want_ _ **it**_ _but when do I not? She's still making it difficult to stay on task right now._ "I could set up runes as a just in case, I'll be safe."

"No, Syl, I said I ain't leaving and I'm not." Sera pushed off from the bed as she pivoted on her heel, leaving the mage in the dust with a bewildered expression. _Okay but she_ _ **just**_ _said...?_ "Gonna go get 'em and keep an eye on them while they do whatever to you." _When you put it like that without actual context, it can sound pretty naughty. I'm going to take a lucky guess and say you mean the tailor and the measurements, though._ "You gimme a signal and I'm on 'em like flies on shit." _I'm really hoping she means the tailor now, anyways._ _Otherwise, things might get a little awkward._

"Alright, I'll say I wanna take a shower or something then." Sylvira didn't really see the point, but it never hurt to be too cautious especially after what had happened. _That assassin_ _didn't hide_ _her face_ _from anyone_ _, and carried fucking towels up to my room just to stab me. Who knows where they're hiding? Sera's got a point._ She shimmied up to her elbows and gradually scooted to the edge of the bed as Sera descended the staircase to retrieve the waiting tailor behind the door, the dalish woman cursed herself for the pained grunts that still managed to slip past her lips no matter how hard she tried to keep quiet.

 _I'm in pain all the fucking time and yet I manage just fine, there's literally no fucking difference with this right now. Well more annoying that's for sure, can't move this way, can't move that way... Can't do **anything** by myself anymore..._ Her pride is still wounded over her lack of independence, but more importantly she loathed feeling like she _owed_ Sera. She **knew** the archer didn't mind and that she would do the same herself, but knowing and feeling have always been an aggravating mystery to her.

One thing's for sure, though, and she smiled when she finally worked her way back up to sitting. _We've accomplished a lot, and none of it was ever rushed nor forced. It's only going to get better from here on out, right?_ She hastily took off her glasses and stuffed them in her pocket when she heard how the door groaned shut and multiple feet slapped against the stone stairs, the tailor made a nervous appearance once they made it up top with a _mabari_ tailing after them. _Definitely going to commission a mabari outfit for Sera, this **has** to happen now. I'll ask for a cat for myself so we'll be even, she'll go woof and I'll go meow._ It's difficult to remain composed now that she's entertaining this notion rather seriously, and the _mabari_ casts a mixture of a confused and alarmed expression now. _The tailor is right here, after all, who better to ask than the advice of an expert who sews for a living?_

"Ah, Inquisitor..." The tailor gulped and stole a quick side-glance when the _murderous_ aura emitted from behind intensified, and Lavellan chuckled when the archer didn't bother hiding her vicious glare. _She's going to scare this woman away at this rate._ "You look quite stunning, your Worship." _Worship and not 'Grace', at least **if** they are an assassin then they got the right one this time._ "How does the uniform fit?" The casual compliment earned a grunt from the archer, and Sylvira grinned smugly before she braced herself for the oncoming agony. She tried not to tense her muscles and gritted the back of her teeth as she scooted a bit closer to the edge, then pushed herself off and stood in one go. She gave a subtle shake of her head when she saw Sera's concerned look, then took careful strides to stand directly in front of the tailor for her uniform to be inspected thoroughly.

"Nice and snug, you can rest easy. I believe there will be no adjustments needed, and I can still move quite easily."

"How about the sash and the belt, your Worship? I had heard that-" the tailor cut off abruptly, her eyes widened and she swiftly averted her gaze downwards to the floor. Lavellan frowned when she knew what was about to be asked, but judging by the rogue's clueless look, _she hasn't figured it out yet. Which is for the best. But where did the tailor hear of the assassination? Actually now that I think about it when did she get my measurements anyways, when I was unconscious for the two days or something?_

"They're comfortable, and not impeding anything." _She did pretty good then, for someone unresponsive and unconscious. And a mabari most likely growling behind her._ She gave a small smile when the tailor visibly relaxed, relieved there was no problems to note. _I can't imagine sewing all our uniforms with everybody's vast sizes must be easy nor quick, especially Bull's._ She gestured towards Sera, "Aren't you going to put yours on?" She tried not to sigh when the razor sharp slits locked on the human woman in suspicion, _if she wanted to try something she would have already. I'm right in front of her. Self-preservation doesn't seem to be a trait Venatori value after all, with all the reckless mistakes they've been making._

"Come with me to the bathroom and help me out then," the archer wasn't going to take any chances whatsoever. _Don't get me wrong, it's endearing, but I **can** handle myself. I'm injured, not magically crippled._

"Alright," she tried not to sound exhausted or annoyed, but the stern warning in Sera's eyes clearly conveyed she wouldn't take no for answer. Lavellan gave a small nod towards the tailor and turned around first, then went to gather the second uniform before going towards the bathroom. She could feel the lingering presence behind her and idly wondered just what exactly made the rogue _this_ protective over her, even more so than all the other times she'd been injured.

 _Even if I figure it out why, will I actually **understand** it?_ Just as she reaches for the handle, a hand unsurprisingly darts out to turn it and she steals a side-glance at the archer who waits beside her, but Sera's head is turned and her attention is glued on the tailor. "You know cookie," Sylvira whispered, "Coddling me doesn't do well for my reputation as Inquisitor." _And this only confirms the 'rumors' of the assassination. The tailor's lips will undoubtedly flap if she's not somebody's trusted contact._

"Ain't coddling. Guarding," came the fast reply, as if the rogue _expected_ the complaint. _Well, I suppose she's got a point. She's starting to develop quite the silver-tongue with me, it seems._ The mage conceded and bowed out without a fight, _there's no sense fighting a battle I know I'll lose. She's more stubborn than I am._ They moved inside the bathroom and Sera shot one last scrutinizing glare as she turned around to close the door, then hastily grabbed the clothes from the dalish woman's hands and proceeded to strip as quickly as possible.

 _Is she worried the tailor could come in here and attack us? Here in this moment I'm best suited to protect us, she doesn't have any weapons._ She couldn't help but smirk at that thought, she knew the stubborn woman would come up with **something**. _She'd probably use the long boots as a whip and beat the tailor to death. Jeez..._ She couldn't help but chuckle when the archer growled in frustration as she wrestled with the sash, "At least allow me to help dress you, love. I'm not totally incapable, _remember?_ " She made it a point to emphasize that, so that Sera actually did remember and _know_ she can still handle things more than fine.

 _I've always had to manage and work around things because of pain, this is no different. Besides, wasn't I dancing and sleeping on top of her the other night?_ "Fine..." The sullen tone and obvious reluctance tested Sylvira's patience, and somewhere in the back of her mind _pride_ grumbled in protest. _Such little faith in me, as always._ She immediately obliterated the pessimism before it had any chance to flourish, and moved quickly but comfortably so as not to instigate the pain nor _exaggerate_ her independence. _Who am I kidding? Sera won't believe me regardless if I try hard to convince her or not._ "Help me put it 'round me?"

"Yeah," the mage plucked the silk sash and couldn't help but smirk as she ordered, "Arms up."

"Don't get all Inquisitor with me Syl," Sera warned. _Wow, she's quick._ "Already see it all over yer face and frigging _hear_ it." _And sharp. With her, **thanks** to her, I'll never be like Celene._

"You know me all too well love~" Lavellan cheerfully sing-songed and her lips curled in a cat-like smile as she stepped behind the archer, her amusement fueled by the shorter woman's playful groan. She carefully raveled the sash around the lithe waist and her gaze was glued to the exposed nape, she averted her eyes when the urge to kiss and _mark_ consumed her thoughts. _She usually wears the kerchief to cover it up, she looks so..._ The mage nibbled on the inside of her cheek as she inspected the uniform, she ensured the sash accentuated the _addicting_ curves. When she looped the sash over the shoulder and handed it back to Sera, she smoothed her hands down to the hips and carefully bent to whisper in the rogue's ear, " _You_ _'re_ _beautiful, Dhav._ "

Silence for a time, and she saw the way goosebumps rose on the pale nape. She grinned mischievously and remained where she was, controlling the way she breathed and ensuring each one made a _direct hit_ with the sensitive ear. " _Cheesy sap,_ " Sera mumbled so quietly it was barely audible, and passed the sash under her arm then to the dalish woman to tuck and secure with a few more wraps before it was tied firmly. Sylvira chuckled softly, she always loved how she could fluster someone who cared nothing for words.

 _Why is that, anyways? Did she stop putting value in them because of disappointment, or does she doubt the sincerity after hearing the opposite all her life?_ The sash was fastened with the thin leather belt, the cuffs were adjusted and gloves pulled on snugly. She dipped her head until her lips brushed against the ear and murmured provocatively, "I'm going to enjoy getting you out of all these after the tailor leaves." She smirked when she felt a light shudder, and decided to tease as she ghosted her bottom lip up the ridge of Sera's ear as she rubbed just below the hem of the jacket. She ran her hands up the thighs and the citron orbs glinted with amusement when nimble fingers wrapped around her wrists to stop her.

"We need to let the tailor see that the uniform's fine," Sera shot back her own words with a blatantly smug tone, and the archer twisted in her embrace. She grinned coyly as she mocked Lavellan's accent _perfectly,_ "Otherwise all that time and energy wrestling in this thing will be for naught."

"Checkmate," the dalish woman chuckled when Sera's proud grin grew even wider. "You got me fair and square, come on let's get this done and over with, yes?" She stepped back to take a good look herself, and she cupped her chin with her thumb and index finger as she nodded appreciatively. "I know you hate this-"

"Really, what gave it away?" _Bored look, sneering, 'nob' uniform._

"But you really _do_ look good, you know." She derailed swiftly and turned around as she held out her arm, she ignored the scoff and tilted her head as she teased gently, "May I have this dance?" There's a period of silence, and she cautiously twisted her torso up until the point the wasps embedded in her lower belly started to _buzz_ a little more. She was confused when she saw a sort of zoned out look until the razor sharp slits snapped to hers, and Sera moved to gently grasp her bicep.

 _Uh, she's not going to_ _loop her hand through the hole?_ As they moved for the door, the archer muttered lowly while she reached for the handle, "You know I don't dance, Syl..." _Why does she sound worried?_ "You ain't gonna ask when we're there at the palace right?"

"Not even in private, in our room?" Sylvira reached and caught the archer's hand when it slipped from the handle, and turned Sera to face her. "It doesn't have to be there." She pulled and leaned down for a chaste kiss, then whispered against the plump lips, "I have an idea, after the tailor leaves." She gave no chance for any protests as she blindly reached for the handle and turned it, then parted and gently tugged on the rogue's wrist. She watched the reaction in her peripheral vision and smirked when she saw how the mouth opened then closed, _just you wait. You'll like what I have in mind for you, cookie._

"Permission to speak freely, Inquisitor?" The tailor's wide smile and sudden question caused Sera to tense in the mage's grip, _to be honest even I'm a little on guard._ Lavellan nodded tersely and her left hand nonchalantly swung behind her, she began to summon on vestiges of magical energy just to be on the safe side and watched with scrutiny. "You both look absolutely stunning together," the human woman fanned herself in a theatrical manner and Sylvira snickered when she could _feel_ Sera's eyes rolling.

"Thank you for the compliment, Miss...?" _She has the features of an Antivan, now that I think about it._

"Claudia-" _knew it! Definitely Antivan origin._ "My apologies for not formally introducing myself earlier, your Worship. My full name is-"

"That's quite alright, Claudia." _And they can have insanely long 'full' names with all their uncles and mothers and maiden names and ugh._ "There's no time for pleasantries and we're all on a busy schedule, my companion and myself included. So if you don't mind...?" _Normally, I'd just say hurry the fuck up, time's wasting. But I have a feeling this woman's Josephine's friend and I don't feel like being lectured all the way to Orlais should the Ambassador sit in my carriage._ Another idea struck her, and she struggled not to let it show on her face as she strode towards her working desk, while the tailor went to inspect Sera's uniform without any protest. _I **have** to be alone with Sera in the carriage, if I'm capable of pulling it off then she'll definitely love the ride._ It's clear by the archer's expression she just wants this done and over with, and her bored tone along with her curt responses are more than hint enough to _hurry the fuck up, time's wasting._

Energy still remained manifested in Sylvira's palm though she ensured to act nonchalant as she moved, careful not to accidentally _draw_ any lines of a rune or activate a spell through gestures alone. She watched with a keen eye and wordlessly cursed herself when she went too far from the other women, she can't pick up details that may potentially indicate danger if her vision is blurred. She doesn't _dare_ take the glasses out though, despite wearing them in public already. _I don't_ _ **need**_ _them._ She took out her journal and pretended to read it as she laid it out on her table, then gradually worked off pieces of her uniform and draped them over her plush chair. She eyed her scarf abandoned on the bed, and idly wondered if there would be a way to somehow sneak it under her uniform.

 _I know Ambassador Montilyet will have an outrage if I try to wear it on top anyways._ _I can wrap that around me and wear that instead of the blouse underneath, though._ She patiently waited until Claudia was finished and politely bowed towards the mage while Sera scoffed under her breath, "Thank you for giving me the time to check the uniforms, Inquisitor." _Why is she thanking me for doing her job? Whatever._ Sylvira shrugged and rose her hand to gesture all was well, and it seemed the tailor had gotten the _hint_ that she should leave-if her hasty escape was any indication. The moment the chambers' heavy door slammed shut, the dalish woman's lips curled in a sly smile as she finally unraveled her sash and she tossed it on her table.

"What's yer big idea _this_ time, Syl?" _Wasting no time, I see. She's getting much better at this._

"Eager, are we?" She popped off the buttons with deft speed and shirked off the jacket, then tossed it over the chair's spine. Her citron orbs _danced_ with glee when Sera looked unamused, the rogue crossed her arms and had a pointed look. "We're going to dance love," she unbuttoned a few of the blouse's collar and rolled up the cuffs of her sleeves to her elbows, then strode around her table and towards the skeptical woman.

"What, _now?_ "

"Mm~ hm." Lavellan gently pulled on the archer's wrist and swiftly wrapped an arm around the lower waist as she drew closer, she wrapped her fingers around Sera's gloved hand and inquired, "So? May I have this dance?" She knew what the answer was going to be, the way the eyebrows scrunched and how the razor sharp slits _screamed_ their doubt was more than enough. She **knew** , and yet she was still pleasantly surprised. _I can never gauge her reactions._

"...Fine." _She always catches me off guard, does the complete opposite when I least expect it._ "But here?"

"Aye, why not?" Sylvira effortlessly guided them to be in front of the bed and fireplace, she withdrew the arm around the rogue's waist and outstretched her palm towards the logs. She intertwined the gathered magical energy and wove the strands to connect as she drew a blazing orange rune, and flames suddenly spawned as they ignited under the logs. She smiled softly and looked back at Sera as she begun to sway ever so gently, and chuckled at the archer's _lame_ protest. _Is she already flustered by something as simple as this?_

"We're not supposed to dance here."

"We are supposed to dance here." _Seriously._ _ **Sera**_ _worrying of 'where' things happen? It's clearly an excuse._

"Yeah but," the rogue inched closer and buried her face between Lavellan's shoulder and collarbone, then mumbled again, "We don't have any music."

"Hm~ so let's make some." The mage coughed briefly to clear her throat, and she felt the _smile_ against her shoulder. _I'm glad I got rid of the jacket,_ she slid her hand along the silk sash and gripped tighter as she hummed softly. The _romantic_ song was ultimately ruined when she decided to be silly, and started to sing random words horribly out of tune. "Bum~ ba dee dah~ lah dee d-"

"You're shitty at this," Sera muffled in her shirt, and warm breaths rushed through the dalish woman's blouse from the lighthearted snickers.

"I know." Silence fell on them, and they just inched ever so slightly as they shifted around and around in slow circles. Their hips rocked together in sync, their bodies pressed intimately as Lavellan rested her chin on top of the rogue's unkempt hair. Her mouth curled upwards in pride, there were no more protests and she could feel the tension melting away minute by minute. Her heart swelled with warmth when she just barely caught the muffle in her shirt, and it took all of her willpower not to rip Sera's uniform into pieces right then and there. _But what a waste that'd be.  
_

" _..._ _And I like this song._ " Her heart swelled upon hearing the hushed confession, and she hummed back in response. _The things you make me feel, I swear..._ She lifted her chin and pressed a brief kiss to the top of the archer's head, then relaxed as they continued to dance in silence. She closed her eyes and listened to the heart beat that thumped against her chest, and the way her own responded in kind with the same calming rhythm. The wasps in her lower abdomen were long forgotten, her own anxiety hadn't triggered upon feeling lips sneak past the small opening of her blouse and a swift kiss stolen between her collarbones. The gloved hand slipped from hers, they stopped for a brief moment for Sera to tug the gloves off and throw over the shoulder.

Arms wrapped around the mage and she forcefully composed her features when pain overwhelmed her senses from the abrupt bear-like hug, she smiled encouragingly and chuckled tenderly when the rogue immediately buried her face in between Sylvira's breasts. _She's doing this on purpose, I bet._ They picked up where they had left off and begun to slow dance again, this time Sera had started and set the pace of her own volition. "Hum again for us, Syl?" The mage nodded and angled her head as she pressed her mouth against the blonde hair, then rose her arms and loosely embraced the firm shoulders. Her throat vibrated as she slowly scaled from low to high pitches, the tender melody and the fire crackling mixed with the shorter woman's scent had begun to make her feel a little hazy.

 _Sometimes I still have a hard time believing this is really happening, that she's still here with me._ As she hummed quietly, she picked up a muffled murmur in her shirt and her smile seeped into her song. _What did she even say? Hard to hear over the mouthful of my shirt._ They danced until their hands gradually began to wander and they blindly worked off Sera's uniform as they shared a deep sensual kiss, their eyes remained shut as they _trusted_ in the presence of the other and never stopped moving in slow circles. The silk sash unraveled and pooled down at their feet with the thin belt, the rustling of fabric barely heard below the song as Lavellan hummed _inside_ the archer's mouth. She felt the way Sera's lips curled in a subtle smile during their kiss, she knew she was doing the same too.

Moments after the red jacket was being unbuttoned one by one, revealing the crimson bra she saw in the bathroom. _Of **course** it's red._ She smoothed the jacket off the rogue's shoulders, and Sylvira could feel _need_ pool in the pits of her belly and desire fog her mind. The two parted when Sera murmured, "Still the middle of the day, Syl. What if the kids barge in here?" _Fuck..._

"Why do you have to be responsible at the **worst** time ever?" _Being an adult doesn't suit her at all._ The mage teased lightheartedly to alleviate the gloom that now loomed over their heads, she sighed and looked down at the red jacket in her hands with sadness. "I was enjoying getting you out of these too..." She glanced up when the archer snickered, then patted her cheek.

"Plenty of chances Syl, 'specially at the palace yeah?" Sera grinned devilishly as she deftly stole the jacket back, then tossed it over on the bed as she strode towards the bathroom to collect her regular clothes. The dalish woman's eyebrow rose in interest when she heard the muffled suggestion echo inside the bathroom, "And once we don't need it anymore, you can go nuts and tear it apart." _Why would I be ripping the clothes?_ _Oh wait I wanted to earlier, still a waste though._ The rogue emerged with her regular shirt on, the brown slacks hadn't stayed much longer and Lavellan most definitely didn't mind the way they had flown at her face when they'd been thrown at her.

"Feel free to do this with your underwear in the future too, love." The slacks were caught and Sylvira gathered the rest of the abandoned pieces, she walked over to leave them with her own uniform on the chair and was pleasantly surprised when the archer had followed her to the desk. When she glanced over, little hands slid over her shoulders and guided her to lean against the table. _Not fair._ The clothes were taken from her and thrown over at the chair, and hungry lips searched hers as the shorter woman carefully pulled her down. _She definitely needs to dominate more oft-wait!_ "Oh _fuck_ no," she angled her chin up and away, her hands stretched out at the sides for _safety_ of falling to temptation. "You **are** in your underwear after all, and I **know** you're just teasing me like this."

"I _only_ wanna kiss, Syl." The husky whisper _definitely_ had amusement struggling to be contained in the tone.

"It's my turn to smell the bullshit from your breath, _darling._ " Lavellan tilted her head just so that she could still see from her peripheral vision, and reached up to unhook the hands on her shoulders. She grasped the wrists and _safely_ straightened out as she looked down, but doing so still secured her doom and her expression fell deadpan, while Sera grinned all too eagerly. "This is  so not fair." _All the things I_ _ **could**_ _do to you right now, if I didn't have to worry about anyone barging in on us. Assassin or kids._ She let go of the wrists just so that her hands could wander nonetheless, it was equally bad that the _temptress_ was lacking bottoms.

 _And not lacking **enough**. _ "Syl~" Sera sang then giggled at the mage's frustrated expression, _she's torturing me on purpose._

"Enough," Sylvira glanced over her shoulder at the bed, then back. "Under the sheets, if they walk in then they'll think we're taking a nap."

"And if the kids take off the sheets while yer hand's getting handsy?" _Fuck... Why the hell does she have to be an adult?_ The impish glee in the razor sharp slits infuriated her to no end, and Lavellan sighed as her hands fell. _This sucks. I hate her._ Lithe fingers intertwined with hers, and gently pulled her until she reluctantly dipped her head to give what her _Queen_ kept badgering for. _I shouldn't, as punishment, but who am I kidding? I'll cave in no time._ The second their mouths met, a tongue slipped past her lips and she suckled on it in revenge. She swallowed the choked groan and smirked in victory when Sera retreated, and Sylvira swiftly bent lower so that she could be the one to _invade_ and dominate.

Bad idea.

" _Fuck!_ " She was pushed back by the shoulders immediately and her hands instinctively shot over to her healing wound, her head lulled back as she hissed from the touch alone. Her eyes rolled from the intense pain and all she could see was a flash of white, she felt lightheaded and it took some time for her to come back to Thedas. She hadn't even been aware that she was breathing raggedly, and vaguely registered the rogue calling out her name in worry. "I'm fine," she repressed the urge to cough or anything else that might irritate her injury even more, then rasped irritably, "Fucking **bullshit** , all of this. Is there ever going to be a time I can catch a fucking break?"

"Now," Sera urged, "You can now. Come on let's get you on the bed, lemme take a look at it."

"There's nothing that can be done, so-"

"Just wanna make sure it's okay, alright? Get on the bed," the archer stubbornly insisted and tugged until Sylvira rose a hand, a silent plea to wait just a bit longer. The agony had yet to subside and her temperature skyrocketed to the point she felt like she was in the Forbidden Oasis all over again, _and not the Oasis that I **want** to be in._ She didn't need to look to know Sera's features twisted in concern, and gradually leaned back to rest against the edge of her desk as she focused to get her breathing rhythm under control.

"Could you get the cream that's in the bathroom? The one I use for my scars on the back, it has some medicinal properties that help with pain too." The rogue nodded and hastily set off, Lavellan's head lulled back and she closed her eyes as she rested her hands on the table. _Deep breath in_ -she winced when it'd been _too_ deep and stretched her belly out a bit- _slow breath out,_ and formed an _o_ with her mouth as she controlled her exhale. She hadn't even heard Sera silently slither back, but she felt the way her blouse was pulled out the slacks and gradually rolled up. The buttons were undone in a flash and if she hadn't been absorbed in the wasps buzzing below, she'd have quipped over the rogue's natural ability to strip lightning fast. The mage held the bunched up fabric in one hand as she focused on her breathing, and struggled not to grimace when she felt the bandages undone for ice-cold cream to be dabbed over her wound. When she opened her eyes and looked down, she'd been stumped to see Sera on her knees with an intense look of concentration as she smeared the ointment on. "You're a fucking dirty player, _darling._ "

"Dunno what yer talking 'bout, Syl." The retort came _too_ quickly, and there was most definitely a split second flash when the plump lips curled in a smirk before it disappeared. The small jar had been placed on the table and Lavellan helplessly watched the seductress slowly peel away the slacks, the hazel orbs clouded as they peered up and locked in a heated gaze. Belly twisted with need, warmth pooled between thighs, Sylvira absentmindedly chewed on the corner of her lip and her eyebrows furrowed when the archer looked back down, straight at her center. Anxiety thrummed along her nerves when a finger lifted then hooked on the rim of her smalls, and Sera glanced up as she silently asked for permission. If the situation was reversed, Lavellan would've happily stripped the _archer_ down, but now it's become the hardest decision she's ever had to make. "Won't do nothing you won't want, but maybe... Maybe try? For me, please?"

 _What happened to us not being able to in case if the kids come and see?_ Still, she decided to just say _fuck it_ and try, she trusted Sera and knew if her mouth so much as began to form the word _stop_ then it'd be heeded. She nodded subtly and her head lulled back, a shaky exhale left her and she closed her eyes as she felt her smalls gradually tugged down. She couldn't bear to watch now, and she knew nothing would come of this with how much more nervous she felt. Her breath audibly hitched and her eyelids squeezed tighter, her forehead creased as she felt a tentative hand slide up her bare thigh. _It's Sera, I trust Sera. This feels good._ It felt anything **but** good according to the instincts that screamed at her to lash out and defend herself, and every part of her quivered with _fear_ rather than _excitement._ She still tried to trick herself otherwise. "Just say the word and I'll stop, Syl."

" _The word,_ " the mage cursed herself for how weak she sounded and how parched her throat was as she croaked, the jest effectively failed and the calloused palm stopped on the side of her thigh. "That was a joke," she muttered lamely, "Don't stop."

"Yer arm flashed, though." _Fuck._ _I should've rolled down the sleeve._ "Stronger too, saw it through the shirt." _Never mind, there goes that then._ Sera sighed and the warm breath made goosebumps break out on the dalish woman's thigh as a light shudder rippled up her spine, she felt her smalls slide back up the sides of her thighs and hands ghost past her hips. She _dared_ to open her eyes and look down, then watched as the rogue worked the buttons of her blouse and she frowned at the mixture of frustration and worry embedded in the hazel orbs. _She's impatient, and at this rate we still don't know if I'll ever be okay with being touched..._ Ordinarily, she wouldn't have seen the problem had she not spent time and come to learn everything there is about this woman.

 _Who **wouldn't** jump and take the deal of free sex without having to worry about working to do the same, right? But intimacy is important to her, I'd wager she'd rather touch than be the one being touched._ The blouse was gently pushed off her shoulders and fingertips skimmed her skin, she watched Sera struggle not to snap in anger and she reached to frame the lithe jawbone. "I'm sorry, love. I swear to you if I could make my problems go away, I would." _Perhaps I can ask Cole to erase my memories?_ _It's something to consider, they're useless and bring nothing but pain._ She frowned at the vague memory when she had ordered the spirit to do the same for the children, and how she'd outright been denied just because of advice she'd given long ago. _But the hardship that has made me who I am, that's been part of my life, is still causing **more** unnecessary hardship._

"S'alright, yeah?" _I know it's not, it definitely doesn't sound like it._ "Promised I'd wait, and I will. There's no rush." _There's no need for you to hurt either._ The way the archer's voice cracked in between and how she was adamant not to look up was a telling sign, and Lavellan sighed as she _bravely_ stepped forward to embrace. She thanked the red shirt that was in the way of their bare bodies being pressed together, but the subtle brush of their thighs tested her feeble control. She wove her arms around the tense shoulders and buried a hand in the back of the rogue's unkempt hair, she gave a chaste kiss at the top of the head. "Was s'posto check yer stomach," Sera mumbled lowly, and tried to pull away until the mage hugged tighter to prevent her from moving. "Syl?"

"It's fine, cookie. Doesn't hurt anymore, cream's working it's magic." _I know you're just using it as an excuse, anyhow._ Sylvira's head dipped and she brushed her lips against the archer's ear, then whispered tenderly, "It's okay to be frustrated with me, you know. I know you are, don't bottle it up love."

"It ain't yer fault either, only gonna make things worse if I snap."

"But you **are** angry and you **do** want to," Lavellan noted, and she felt the way the woman stiffened in her arms. "How about we blow it all away and grab some lunch, then go shoot arrows?" _Well you shoot, I'll_ _be a loser_ _and leer like a lewd_ _lecher_ _while imagining_ _that_ _you're shooting naked._ "I think fresh air and getting out of here will do us some good, especially since all we'll do is think about sex if we're meters away from a bed."

"Bed or not, you always think 'bout sex Syl," Sera teased lightheartedly, and she smirked with pride when the mage chuckled softly.

"Checkmate. Now who's fault is that, _my Queen?_ "

"You and yer weird arse fantasies," the retorts come quicker now, as if the rogue _expects_ these things. _She knows me inside and out, now._

"Guilty, Dhav," Sylvira admitted readily, and she missed the warmth against her when she allowed the archer to pull away and gather their regular clothes. Her eyes glazed and she stared with hunger when Sera swayed her hips a touch bit more when she nonchalantly strutted about, and the dalish woman swallowed the dry lump lodged in her throat. " _You're torturing me on purpose,_ " she murmured under her breath, and the archer glanced over her shoulder with a provocative grin. _That's it, I know it for sure now. She's a fucking sadist._

"Guilty, luv."

* * *

"Inquisitor-"

"No."

"Inquisitor?"

"No."

"...Inquisitor I-"

"No." Sylvira's head hung dejectedly and thumped against the tavern table, she rose her arms and cradled her head as she tucked her elbows against her ears. Pain shot down her leg and up her midriff, she casually righted herself and forcibly composed her expression as she glared at the nervous messenger who **dared** do his duty. "What _now?_ Please don't tell me the advisors are requesting my presence or something."

"Er... Well, your Worship..." _**Fuck.**_ The anxious human shifted from foot to foot as he scratched the back of his head, it's clear he struggled for the right words to work _around_ Lavellan's and still deliver his message. "They're... Patiently waiting for you in the war room."

"No." The mage rose stiffly and used her height to intimidate the messenger, she glared when Sera had the _nerve_ to laugh. "Then tell them they'll be _patiently waiting_ until tomorrow morning, when we set out for Halamshiral. Also, I am **not** boarding a carriage with them. Make sure you remember that part." She brushed past the messenger who seemed to be confused, as if wondering if she truly wasn't going to be heading to the war room or not. _Nope, nope, nope. Not fucking happening. They_ _ **just**_ _saw me a few hours ago! There's no way there's something urgent that's come up since then,_ _do they think I have godly stamina and can go traipsing around all of Skyhold's stairs?_ She's honestly nervous about the ball, and doesn't want any more stress added on to that.

 _I just don't want to think about it at all anymore._ Just as she was about to be free from all responsibility, her head hung dejectedly and she groaned when the messenger choked out, "They said the matter is urgent and it's a problem that needs to be addressed right now, your Worship." _Fuck me, I just had to jinx it didn't I?_ Sera's cackles filled the tavern and all eyes fell on Lavellan as she slowly turned around, citron orbs bore into the nervous human and hoped to burn a _fucking hole_ in his soul, she sighed and rubbed her forehead to ease the coming headache.

"Sera..." Sylvira murmured pleadingly, she lifted her head and waited until the archer calmed down enough to actually _listen_ to the legitimately serious request. "If I fake my death I won't have to deal with this, got any good ideas?" The messenger's eyes widened and he had a bewildered look, Sera hadn't been the only one who cackled with glee as eavesdroppers in the tavern joined in on the contagious mirth. "Fucking assholes, no help, the lot of you." She pivoted on her heel and grumbled under her breath as she pushed open the tavern door to exit, "Wish I was a fucking dragon, then I could smack eight people at once. Gonna breathe fire at this fucking meeting, that'll teach Josie and Leliana, definitely their fault for calling this shit."

 _Got no choice, I never fucking do. This better be a serious matter or the first ones I'm pranking next are them, and they're going to **hate** what I'm planning._ She made a mental note to carry out the experiment in her tower after, until she remembered all the stairs involved to actually _get_ to the tower. Forget climbing to the top inside. _So much to do, so little time._ "Wait up for me, Syl!" She stopped just as she had gone outside to the courtyard and twisted her torso before she automatically shifted to turn, the wasps were still stinging thanks to her earlier mistake at the table. _Should've ordered a glass of rum or two to help me forget about it, the cream can only numb so much._ Sera jogged towards her and the mage's lips curled in a subtle smile, she wasn't left alone even for a minute now. Anywhere she went, the loyal woman was right beside her.

 _Beside, not in front or behind._ She turned for the keep when the archer had intertwined fingers and held her right hand, the two naturally settled in a comfortable pace and Lavellan glanced down at their joined hands. _Beside me..._ A vague idea swam in the back of her mind, and she abruptly stopped walking. She was tugged a bit forward until Sera glanced over with confusion, puzzled as to- "Why didjya stop Syl?"

"My hand," Sylvira squeezed to ensure the archer's fingers didn't slip away, "Do you always grab my right hand? Do we always walk like this?"

"Uh... I dunno," Sera shrugged, she still had a clueless look. "Don't really pay attention, does it matter?"

"Try with my left hand," the dalish woman relaxed and moved on the opposite side, then held out her left hand. She shook her head the moment fingers slithered around her wrist and down her bandaged palm, "Doesn't feel right, natural, this isn't it. We don't walk this way," she swiftly moved back to take her spot on the left, and held out her _right_ hand. _Right, it's right, right as in correct. Heh, that's a bit of a brain twister._ She grinned with delight when her vague idea flourished, and she made a mental note to visit Harritt to see if it can actually happen.

"What... Was the point of _any_ of that?" The archer was absolutely lost, but Lavellan didn't dare hint of her surprise. _I'll have to steal a piece of her clothing to get the measurements just right, though. Then I'll go to Harritt after Halamshiral._

"It's important to know which hand to hold if we'll be getting married someday, don't you think?" The jest was meant to fluster Sera - _since after all the other times I pulled this prank she found out it was a joke_ \- and as she glanced over with a cat-like smirk, she realized _holy **shit**... Is she... Taking it **seriously**?!_ "Wait, no. No~ no, no, _I'm_ supposed to be the mature and serious one of us two." The hand slipped away from hers and her comment had earned a light smack across the head of course, but it hadn't stopped her. "Being an adult is the stupidest thing you've ever done _darling,_ " another thwack, "No seriously!" The archer crossed her arms and had a frightening glare that warned of death should Lavellan continue, but she saw the way the mouth twitched in a smile and the way the hazel orbs screamed that she was being a loser _again._ "I've already put a lot of thought into it," there was a flicker of surprise, until she had effectively bombed the moment all over again. "And I really don't think that being an adult is going to work out for you." She grinned cheekily when the razor sharp slits flashed in anger, and Sera huffed as she spun on her heel _without_ a smack.

 _Holy shit..._ The mage couldn't stop grinning like an idiot, no words were ever spoken whatsoever and she hadn't been beaten to a bloody pulp. _She didn't say no. She didn't say she'd hate it, or that I was a loser, or keep dreaming, or that it'd never happen. **Nothing**._ A middle finger was tossed her way but she knew Sera wasn't actually angry - _I'd know with how often I actually do piss her off_ \- and instead, she cupped her chin with her thumb and index finger as she hummed in thought. As a plan began to weave itself together, her heart felt lighter and she lifted her chin when Sera stole a glance over the shoulder after she reached the stairs to the keep. She held her arm back but hadn't looked, and offered her left hand for Sylvira. The answer came easily, and she moved as quickly as her hip allowed her to, the plan in her mind set in stone.

 _Fuck Halamshiral, I'll pay Harritt a visit right after the meeting. Then I'll have another surprise when I take Sera out on that trip, just us two. Dorian and Bull can take a hike. They probably actually will if they come with us._ When she intertwined her fingers with Sera's, she squeezed with blatant excitement and smirked when the archer's head turned away from her as a gesture of obstinate defiance. She still saw the corner of the lips in a smile that desperately fought to remain contained, but failed. Energy filled her over the earlier revelation and she couldn't help but walk with a bounce in her step, and she whistles cheerfully even as they take on the daunting staircase.

"You're such a loser..." Sera murmured, and rolled her eyes when the mage's cheshire grin was in full bloom. "And will you quit dancing? Yer gonna bloody hurt yourself, and ya look like a daft tit." Lavellan squeezed the rogue's left hand- _the most important hand_ -and damned the consequences as she bent to the side. She could tolerate pain, she always has _and if it's for Sera, it'll always be worth it._ She didn't care who saw them whatsoever, and tugged on Sera's hand to stop her from taking the next step as she forcibly turned the woman.

" _I love you,_ " Sylvira whispered with **resolve**. _People like us, only tragedy awaits us. It's happened to Celene and Briala, the Hero of Fereldan and the King, and every single power that's ever ruled. There's a pretty high chance Sera and I won't get a happy ending either, but I'll be damned if I don't fucking fight and try._ She squeezed the calloused palm and slid a hand to cup under the rogue's jaw until it hooked around the nape, she brushed a thumb across Sera's bottom lip and guided her chin upwards. "I promise you, love, one day every piece of the puzzle will just _fit,_ and we won't have to look over our shoulders in fear. We won't have to contend with Thedas' bullshit, we won't have to deal with boring meetings, we won't have to give a _flying fuck_ about anyone else anymore, just us. We'll always be together, and I'll never leave you alone. I'll always stand by your side, just as you have for me." She drew in for a kiss, and whispered against the mouth that quivered against hers, the hazel orbs shone a touch brighter.

 _She probably thinks I'm a lame loser, or honey tongue, or whatever. But this loser will be hers, and..._

"One day you'll be **mine**."


End file.
